


tread softly, because you tread on my dreams

by xXBookwormXx



Category: NU'EST, Produce 101 (TV), Wanna One (Band)
Genre: (A little but not really), A little, Alternate Universe - Vampire, And boy is there a lot of them, Angst, Angst with a Happy Ending, Attempt at Humor, Because I can, Blood Drinking, Blood Tears, Body Dysphoria, Crying, Discrimination, Fantastic Racism, Gen, Heavy Angst, Humor, Hunted Vampires, Kang Daniel Being an Idiot, Kang Daniel-centric, Lee Daehwi being adorable, Men Crying, Mild Blood, Mystery, No Smut, POV Outsider, POV Yoon Jisung, Reveal, Vampire Hunters, Vampire Turning, Vampires, Vampires are Known, Yoon Jisung-centric, and a lot of it, but not the sexy kind, especially the first few chapters, give jisung more love, kind of, sorry - Freeform, strap in boys this fic is a long one, yeah it's just produce 101 but with vampires
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-06-28
Updated: 2021-02-27
Packaged: 2021-03-03 23:08:44
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 37
Words: 210,430
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/24723553
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/xXBookwormXx/pseuds/xXBookwormXx
Summary: Winning Produce 101 was already hard.Doing it as a vampire was impossible.
Relationships: Kang Daniel & Yoon Jisung, Kang Daniel/Ong Seongwu, if you squint, like really squint - Relationship
Comments: 167
Kudos: 48





	1. prologue

**Author's Note:**

> I probably should've written this when Wanna One was still together or when Produce 101 season 2 was actually airing but here we are. Also thanks so much to my two beta readers, Sophie and royal.purple, because you guys are gifts from above and honestly probably half my motivation for editing this shit.

Jisung couldn't remember a time before there were vampires.

When he was younger, his grandfather often sat him down on his lap to speak of the world before. Where humans thought they were the top of the food chain and that one day they found out that wasn't the case at all. 

His grandfather wove stories of the shock and terror of that old world, but also the curiosity and fascination with the new, dangerous creatures. He told him of a world where registration for vampires didn't exist and you were always afraid you would turn a corner and in would swoop an evil, bloodthirsty monster determined to drain you dry for its first meal in weeks (his grandpa would swoop in himself when he would describe this, and pretend to bite him and Jisung would scream and laugh and kick and try to get away and then he'd get attacked by a bout of the tickles and it would be all over from there). He recanted tales of adventure where he and his friends had tried to break into the house belonging to the evil lady across the road who was definitely one of those leeches and try and free the innocent people she almost certainly had locked up in her basement.

Everything his grandfather described seemed so mystical and extraordinary in comparison to his own little mundane world, with barely any vampires at all. The only time he ever heard about bloodsuckers was on the radio that Dad and Grandpa listened to.

Leeches were constantly getting arrested because they wanted it to go back to the old days, where they could feast on whoever wanted -- at least that was what Dad thought -- and it seemed like every other day someone else had been bitten or drained dry or kidnapped or something. Mom always told Dad to turn it off when Jisung went into the room, which was stupid, because he wasn't scared. He wanted to hear about the leeches too.

He'd only ever seen one once, on the TV, before Mom had had the chance to turn it off. Jisung liked to think it hadn't been that scary, but the truth was, the glimpse of it that he did catch made him lie in his bed awake for weeks afterwards, his palms wet and trembling like a leaf, even with the light turned on. He couldn't close his eyes or else he saw it again, so vivid in his mind that he nearly jumped out of his bed every time.

It had been deathly pale, so white its skin was the same colour as the rat poison Mom sometimes used. Two long, razor-sharp fangs, like knives, extended from its mouth, dripping with blood. Its entire mouth and chin was coated with thick, deep crimson, more blood than Jisung had ever seen before, and occasionally its tongue would dart out to lick up some. Its eyes matched the colour of blood, the pupils blown huge, darting around in an frenzied dance. It was snarling and screaming, sounding less like a man and more like a wild animal, making the hairs on the back of Jisung's neck stand on end. The police were holding it back, at least ten of them, but Jisung kept thinking it would get free. It seemed like it would get free. How could they possibly hold something like that back? And then Mom turned the TV off and he was left with just the horrifying echoes of the image in his mind.

Even though the names seemed to fit that thing on the TV so perfectly, Mom said they weren't allowed to call vampires bloodsuckers or leeches because it was rude and mean and derogatory (Jisung didn't know what that meant, but it wasn't good) and she got angry at grandpa any time he used those words and kept talking about how it was so much safer now and how they should all be grateful for it. The words felt awfully hollow whenever Jisung thought of the creature.

But Jisung kept dreaming of the world of Grandpa's childhood like that anyway, no matter how much Mom dissuaded him or how much the creature on the TV scared him. One of intrigue and danger, where vampires were around every corner.

Sometimes he'd steal his sister's dolls and play out scenarios where his action men teamed up with the dinosaurs to save the beautiful girls from the evil leech but Sohee would always tell Mom and he'd get in trouble for taking her things and he'd get yelled at. Which was never fun. He drew hundreds of really really cool drawings of bloodsuckers with their teeth like knives and blood dripping from them and evil claws and then he drew himself, Yoon Jisung, mighty vampire hunter and slayer of hundreds of evil leeches, with knives and swords, like the ones in the cartoons on TV that Mom said he shouldn't be watching.

Sometimes, he'd go hunting for them, searching for them behind alleyways and in the depths of the woods beside his neighbourhood, with his wooden sword to protect them against the evil vampires. But the hunts never lasted particularly long and he always had to go home when he'd barely gotten into the edges of the forest because Mom said it was getting dark. Even though that was when the most vampires would be out.

He'd tried to sneak out once, in the pitch black of night, with a torch he'd stolen from out of the utility room, the big one that Dad used when he was fixing stuff, and his wooden sword. He'd even opened the windows in the sitting room earlier. He'd crept down the stairs, heart in his throat and climbed out the window, grasping onto the torch and his sword so tightly his knuckles were white. He'd been sweating buckets, even though it was the middle of winter and freezing and all he'd been wearing were his favourite set of dinosaur pyjamas. He'd managed to climb out of the window easily enough and even gotten a few steps into the garden before Mom had rushed out and grabbed him with shaking arms, so quickly that it was almost like she'd teleported from her room.

He'd never received such a scolding as he had that night. Mom banned him from visiting Grandpa for a month, banned him from looking at anything vampire related for at least the same amount of time and had hit him at least twice with that big slipper of Dad's and then screamed to Dad that Grandpa was filling Jisung's head full of myths and wickedness, causing him to get into trouble. Then she'd screamed at him for trying to leave the house in the pitch black where a real vampire could actually drain his little boy body dry in seconds. Jisung was sure he could've beaten any vampire he could've come across and he told Mom that but she'd just raised the slipper again and he'd shut up. He'd been so mad and upset he'd barely slept, alternating between sobbing and screaming the whole night.

Mom gave in though, eventually. It took ages of begging and pleading to get her to do so. She let him see Grandpa after two weeks, even though Sohee was crying that it wasn't fair that he got off on his punishment early and then he'd pointed out that she hadn't been punished for breaking three of his action man toys and almost tearing the head off his Dooly dinosaur. Mom had stepped in before they could fight, like always and threatened to stop those visits to Grandpa again. He'd shut up.

The afternoons with Grandpa were always the best and he looked forward to them all the time, excited for new stories and some of the good old ones too. Mom never looked happy whenever he went to listen to grandpa's amazing stories and she said to Dad that Grandpa wasn't to put ideas of vampires like that into Jisung's head, that he'd scare him and that bloodsuckers were 'functioning members of society', whatever that meant.

But Jisung wasn't scared. Jisung was excited. He wanted to have a real adventure of his own, but Mom had kept a close eye on him since the whole leech hunting incident and he'd barely been allowed out of the house. He also didn't really have nearly enough friends at school to go on a hunt for bloodsuckers and he had no evil leeches to find, considering he'd found none anywhere and he'd searched like everywhere. He still had the rest of the woods to look through though and he held out hope that there was vampires for him to slay out there -- which there definitely was, that's why Mom wouldn't let him that far out.

But if Mom caught him, she would force him to bring Sohee with him and that would ruin everything. And Mom seemed to have eyes everywhere, so he didn't know how to not get caught. She was just constantly breathing down his neck and it was so annoying and he just wanted to go find some evil leeches to slay. But despite all that, Jisung never stopped dreaming. Someday, he would be able to get out and catch some leeches, just like Grandpa.

But the first time he met a real life vampire, Jisung was let down.

Mom said that a vampire was moving in next door and Jisung nearly bounced off the walls with excitement. He was ready to meet his first evil bloodsucker, whose house he could invade in a valiant attempt to rescue the fair maidens trapped in the basement. He didn't have to go searching through the woods anymore, to try and find evil vampires, when there was one living right beside him. Now he'd be able to have his great adventure with a group of his friends and do what Grandpa did, back in the days when everything was cool and new and magical.

But then, as he went with his mother to greet the leech the day they moved in, hidden behind his mother's legs (he wasn't afraid, he was just cautious around such dangerous creatures), he peeked out to see...

A normal man.

The leech looked completely and utterly unremarkable, if a little tired. He was very pale, though not as pale as the one from the TV, but there was no fangs or claws or blood-coloured eyes, at least that he could see. He squinted a good deal in the sunlight but he wasn't burning up into crisp. He just looked ordinary. Like the boys in his class's older brothers.

His eyes were big and friendly and totally and utterly ordinary. He even smiled at Jisung and his teeth were just like everyone else's. Jisung's brows knitted together and he pouted, trying to figure out how the man in front of him was the same creature for Grandpa's legends and the news. He wasn't scary at all. Jisung was sure he could take him, no problem.

The bloodsucker seemed to notice him and crouched down to Jisung's level (which Jisung secretly hated, he wasn't even that small, people shouldn't have to crouch down to him), the bright smile still wide on his face. "What's wrong, little guy?"

Jisung let out an annoyed noise (like Mom did when she was angry -- Dad called it a hemph or homph or something once) and folded his arms. "I'm not little," he started, his pout growing more intense and his voice sounding very little-boy-ish, even to his own ears. Then he leaned and squinted at the bloodsucker. "Are you sure you're a leech?"

Mom let out a gasp and grabbed his hand tightly, so much so it hurt but he wasn't going to admit that. "Apologise to Mr. Kim right now!" she snapped, her face doing that thing where she was very mad and pretending she wasn't.

She turned away from him, still holding his hand too tightly and towards the bloodsucker, her smile looking really unconvincing but Jisung wasn't going to say anything about that. "I'm so sorry. He keeps using that awful language and I keep telling him not to but you know what little boys are like. They ignore everything you say, no matter how much you try to get them to listen."

The leech laughed and shook his head. "It's fine. As you said, he's just a kid. He'll probably grow out of it. And I've told you to just call me Minseok. Mr. Kim feels too old and formal. I've lived long enough through formalities to not really care about them."

Jisung didn't like that they were talking about him as though he wasn't there, glaring at the two as he wriggled to get out of Mom's tight grasp. He wasn't even sure what the leech was talking about but he didn't really care. And besides, he was calling the bloodsucker what he was, a leech. There wasn't anything wrong with that. And Grandpa used it all the time.

The leech was talking to him again. "So, kiddo, what about me makes you think I'm not a vampire?"

Jisung pouted at being called a kid again. He was almost seven years old, he wasn't a kid anymore. He was almost grown up. "I'm not a kid," he mumbled angrily, ripping his hand out of Mom's grip when she finally loosened it, "And you're not a vampire. You look too normal. You don't have any fangs or claws or blood-coloured eyes or anything. You're not scary enough."

The vampire laughed again. Jisung really didn't see what was funny because he was being serious. Maybe the vampire was just stupid and thought he was making a joke, when wasn't.

The vampire shrugged, his smile still not faltering. "When you get to my age, most people are kids." The grin sharpened. "And maybe I'm just hiding my fangs and claws and blood-coloured eyes."

Jisung... hadn't thought of that. He narrowed his eyes, as though that would allow him to see through the disguise. He huffed, trying to play off the fact that he, future hunter extraordinaire, hadn't thought of something so obvious at all. "I was just checking," he said, which made perfect sense because what else would he be doing,"So that you felt a little bit more safer before I defeated you." Then his eyes widened to the size of dinner plates, the ones that Mom only brought out for guests. "Wait, how old are you?"

The vampire's eyes went all big and Jisung was fairly sure he'd surprised him now. But he wasn't one hundred percent sure. The vampire was probably a better actor than Mom. "Of course, I hadn't thought that you might be checking. Drat. Now I've given my cover away!"

Jisung grinned broadly, feeling pretty impressed with himself. He had been pretty sneaky. No one would've guessed he'd actually been tricking the vampire. Especially not the vampire himself. He opened his mouth to reply but the vampire had already begun his second question (which he'd totally forgotten about but he wasn't going to tell the enemy that).

"How old do you think I am?" the vampire asked, that bright grin returning to his face again, looking actually kind of curious and not the fake curious Dad did way too often.

Jisung paused, looking the man up and down. He knew vampires lived to be really old -- at least that was what Grandpa told him -- but the man didn't look _that_ old. He kind of acted a lot like Mom though. And other old people. "Forty?" he said, feeling fairly confident that he was pretty close.

The man's grin grew wider. "Right... if you add another three hundred years to that."

Jisung's jaw went slack. That was older than Grandpa and Grandpa was the oldest person he knew! And he wasn't wrinkly or anything! Grandpa hadn't mentioned that, he'd kind of it made it seem like they just got really old or something. Why didn't Grandpa say anything about something as weird and cool as this?

"You're so old," he said, drawing out the 'o' sound, when he finally managed to speak again. He tried to keep the awe out of his tone. He was going to show the enemy he'd been taken off guard.

He could feel Mom's disapproving stare -- she hated it when people talked about age, which was stupid -- but he just ignored it. The vampire laughed again, standing up from his crouching position, but he suddenly looked very sad and very tired, even though his smile was still wide on his face. "I guess I am," he said, his voice much quieter than it had been just a few moments previously, "A little too old, maybe."

Jisung hadn't a clue what that meant, but before he could ask him what he meant Mom had grabbed onto his hand again and was moving away from the man. "I think it's best if Jisung and I go inside, because I'm going to need a talk with the young man," she said, moving towards their house with that fake smile on her face again, "It was lovely meeting you and I hope you find settling into our neighbourhood easy. If you need anything, feel free to ask."

Jisung hated Mom's little talks. They always ended up with him somehow having done something wrong and he never really knew what but she gave out to him anyway. He turned to Mr. Kim, even as his mother was dragging him away, and smiled as widely as he could. "Bye, Mr. Kim! See you later!" He waved at the man with the hand that Mom wasn't grabbing.

Mr. Kim smiled and waved back, after thanking Mom. "Hope to see you too, Jisung."

And with that, Mom whisked him inside. She did her usual angry thing where she got mad and tried to explain why she was mad but Jisung didn't really get it anyway and then she just gave up. He wasn't really thinking about what he did wrong anyway. He was too focused on Mr. Kim. Maybe the meeting hadn't been totally disappointing. Mr. Kim seemed pretty cool. And nice. Maybe Grandpa was wrong and all vampires weren't evil. Mr. Kim seemed pretty normal. And he didn't seem like he wanted to eat Jisung. Maybe it was just Mr. Kim who was normal and all the other vampires were crazy.

A horrible thought then struck him: what if Mr. Kim was just faking it so that he could sneak into the house and drink all of their blood? He didn't mind if Sohee was eaten, but he didn't want Mom and Dad to be eaten, even if he got mad at Mom sometimes.

He couldn't sleep for most of that night, even though it was a school night and Mom said he should be asleep a little bit after he went to bed. He spent most of the night thinking. His imagination had run wild with a million different scenarios, each crazier than the last. After a long, long time, sheer exhaustion overtook him and his eyes slowly closed. He felt terrible at school the next day, but at least no one had been eaten.

And no one was eaten the next day. Or the one after. Or the one after that. And after a while, his bouts of terror happened less and less often. And Mr. Kim was nice. He talked to Mom and the other neighbours a lot. He baked and cooked a lot - he said something about missing eating really good food and finding joy in others eating it (Jisung didn't care as long as he got to eat it) and shared it around. He offered to look after people's houses when they were out at night or gone away. He'd basically stopped a burglary once. Mr. Kim wouldn't admit it but Jisung knew he had. He'd even offered to walk some the older kids through the more creepier places of the neighbourhood (Jisung had heard some of the older girls saying they'd accepted because he was cute, which Jisung really didn't see what that had to do with defending someone). And he treated Jisung like an adult. Which was nice too. He felt like a proper man around Minseok, like the vampire trusted him and believed him when no one else did.

It was so hard to match Minseok with the terrifying creatures Grandpa talked about. Or that thing from the TV. Or the monsters the radio that Dad listened to talked about, that were going around constantly killing and biting and kidnapping and slaughtering, that thought of humans as nothing more than their next meal. Minseok had to be the exception, the one good vampire amongst all the evil ones.

It was a few weeks before he told Grandpa about Minseok. He felt like Minseok was his own private friend, someone Grandpa might not approve of and he really really didn't want those two worlds to clash. He loved Grandpa but Minseok was beginning to mean a lot to him too. He didn't want them to hate each other. But he had a funny feeling it might not work out.

Grandpa seemed delighted that he'd made a friend, even if he said the friend was old. "Age is just number, Jisung," he said, his broad smile causing deep wrinkles in his face and making it even harder for Jisung to wrap his head around the idea that Minseok was older than Grandpa, "I'm just glad you've made a new friend, no matter how old."

Jisung felt his heart swell at that and with reinvigorated confidence he blurted out,"I mean like he's really old. He's a vampire and he's like - "

Grandpa cut him off, his normally warm eyes having suddenly turned to ice chips. "He's what?" Grandpa said, his voice rising in volume and his tone like his eyes, colder than Arctic frost.

Jisung suddenly felt very very scared. He wanted to get out Grandpa's lap but Grandpa's grip had tightened on his thigh and he couldn't figure out how to wriggle out of his grasp. "A vampire," Jisung repeated, eyes glued to the floor, trying to hide the stupid tears, even though he could hear them in his voice.

"What did I tell you about leeches?" Grandpa asked, sounding almost like he was about to yell, his grip tightening still, "Didn't I tell you that they were dangerous, terrifying, twisted creatures who just wanted to suck your blood?! Didn't I warn you to stay away from them?! He's probably planning to suck your blood right now, to drain you dry as though you were nothing more than prey!"

Jisung looked up at Grandpa again, his vision blurry from the streams of tears pouring down his cheeks. "B-but h-he's not like other vampires, h-he's nice and he's fr-friendly and he's ne-never mean a-," he sobbed, feeling so stupid for crying, when he was almost eight and nearly an adult.

Grandpa's eyes showed no sympathy. "He's deceiving you, obviously," he snapped, his tone hard and fury simmering just beneath the surface, "He's trying to trick you into trusting him so he can drink your blood! And then he'll move onto the rest of the neighbourhood! I've seen it happen before, it'll happen again! Didn't I raise you to be smarter than this?!" His voice rose and rose, louder and louder until he was screaming into Jisung's ears. It was so loud it hurt.

And then he slapped Jisung across the face.

Jisung didn't know what to do for several moments. He just stared at Grandpa in awe, unsure of what had just happened. Grandpa's expression hadn't changed. He was used to Mom slapping him from time to time but never Grandpa. Grandpa was always too nice for that. Grandpa always understood him. Grandpa always smiled and encouraged him. He was always there for him. He would never slap him. But his stinging cheek said otherwise.

His bottom lip trembled and he managed to twist out of Grandpa's lap and ran towards the kitchen, towards Mom who he could trust and love and not the adult who only liked him when he hated vampires. He grabbed onto her and buried his face in her dress, crying so hard it hurt, the tears sliding down his throbbing cheek and doing nothing to ease the pain.

He couldn't hear what Mom was saying to him and didn't care. He just wanted to be safe and away from Grandpa. He'd been so sure Grandpa wouldn't care, that Grandpa would want to meet Minseok and befriend Minseok just like Jisung had. He'd been so sure that Grandpa wouldn't look at him disapprovingly, like Mom would.

But it was like they'd switched places. Now Mom was hugging him and kissing him and whispering that it was alright and promising to let him see Minseok later and bring him out for ice cream. While Grandpa had gotten angry at him. Jisung didn't like it. It felt confusing and wrong and he hated being confused. He wanted it to go back to the way it was, where he understood everything.

And then Mom was pulling away from him, as much as he grasped onto her. She murmured about wanting to talk to Grandpa for a few moments. Her soft hand tucked a strand of hair behind his ear tenderly, a small smile on her face and kissed him on his cheek, making it feel a little better. And with that she left and he curled up in the kitchen, by the wall, shaking with the weight of his loud, heavy sobs, clutching onto his aching cheek. She closed the door after her but he could still hear the yelling. He'd never heard Grandpa so mad. Sniffling, he moved closer to the door. He pressed his ear to it, trying to quieten his sobs in order to better hear them.

"-let him befriend a filthy leech, a bloodsucker, who wants nothing more than drink a little boy's blood, he'd kill the lot of you in an instant -- "

"He's a lovely man! He wouldn't do a thing to harm anyone. He's a better person than you ever were, twisting Jisung's mind with false, disgusting stories of vampires as though they were all evil and cruel and merciless and-and--"

"You hear what the news says! They're not to be trusted and especially not with our children! Did you hear about the leech who was arrested only a few weeks ago who was draining the blood of just little children, monstrous, foul creatures, the lot of them, who have no regard for any lives except their own -- "

"Mr. Kim hasn't done a thing to hurt a fly! Jisung really enjoys hanging out with him, the two get along like peas in a pod and Jisung hasn't had any big brother figures like that before and he struggles so much with making friends at school -- "

"This is because your brother, Jaewoo, was turned a while back, now isn't it? He went and meddled with the evil leeches and we warned him and he never listened and look what happened to him? Now he's one of them, as messed and disgusting as the rest of them, feeding on people like cattle, it's revolting and it makes sick, the lot of them, they make me sick -- "

There was scream and the sound of something heavy hitting the floor, hard. "Don't talk about my brother like that, you foul, evil, wretched old man. Don't you dare even muddy his name by letting it pass through your lips. You refuse to move from the past when everyone lived in fear, clinging to it with your wrinkled, gnarled old claws with a fear of being made irrelevant -- don't you dare even open your fucking mouth -- and you want to push such an archaic mindset on my son, my only boy, corrupting him with your fucked-up stories of murder and death. I'm taking Jisung and I'm never coming back to this wretched place. I'm letting my son befriend a -- a -- a leech, because that leech seems to be more aware of Jisung's feelings than you ar--"

Jisung moved away from the door, chest heaving, as he heard footsteps headed towards him. He hadn't known what half the words they'd used meant but he was fairly certain they weren't good. The door swung open and his mother grasped his hand firmly and strode out the door and for once, Jisung didn't try to fight it. He just followed her out, still trying to understand what had just happened.

They didn't go back to Grandpa's house for a while. Jisung was secretly happy about it. He wouldn't admit it to Mom but Grandpa had scared him so much on those moments that he sort of never wanted to go back. He just wanted to forget it ever happened. And if that meant never talking to Grandpa again, he could deal with that.

Sometimes he wanted to tell Grandpa stuff. Like how he'd aced that one test or how this pretty girl had looked at him twice and giggled and he'd felt his heart flutter or how he'd had his first kiss in an alleyway with a girl much much too beautiful for him and hadn't actually liked it that much but had pretended he had or how he'd almost been chosen first for the soccer team or how he'd finally decided what he wanted to be (an idol) or a million other things that he used to be able to tell him. He told Minseok, but it just wasn't the same. He felt like there was a gap in his life but he was much too scared to confront it.

Even when, finally, after getting rejected time and time and time again from company after company, he got into a company as a trainee, he didn't tell his grandfather. He'd thought about it. He'd even stood outside the man's door. He'd almost knocked. But he'd stepped away, his stomach twisting itself into thousands of knots, and ran away, not even daring to look back.

He was sure that conversation from when he was seven, would be the last one he'd ever have with his grandfather, solely because he was too much of a coward to deal with something that had happened so long ago.

And when he was moving to Seoul to focus more on his attempts to be an idol, he didn't even attempt to visit. He didn't know how long he'd be. And he wasn't sure if he cared. He'd gotten very very good at denying that void's existence.

Ignorance was bliss, after all.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> yeah i threw minseok in (not the actor, the exo member). just for fun


	2. I

The first thing Jisung noticed when Kang Daniel walked through the doors of the MMO Entertainment training room was how warm he was. 

Everything about him radiated warmth: the golden tawny skin, the soft deep brown eyes, the broad bunny smile, the crinkles at the edge of his eyes to accompany that smile, the fluffy black hair. He reminded Jisung a lot of a puppy. A big puppy. Jisung had to look up at him. 

The boy couldn't have been much older than twenty, and the cutesy face didn't help. He felt old just looking at him.

"Hi," the kid started, the Busan accent and deep voice taking Jisung off-guard, having expected something much softer, "Um. This is the training room, right?" 

Jisung just nodded at first, still taking in the new trainee. He wasn't really sure what to make of him. He seemed nice enough but Busan was also where the large majority of hunters and more unnervingly, vigilante hunters, came from. Which... didn't fit Daniel's image so far admittedly, but stranger things have happened.

The boy broke into another wide smile. "Great! I'm Kang Daniel!" 

Jisung felt his lips turn upwards too, at Daniel's infectious enthusiasm. He had the kind of excitement only a young, beginner trainee would have. The kind Jisung had begun to lose. Nowadays, he just felt awfully tired. Tired and hopeless. Three years wasn't particularly long for a training period but it felt like he was going nowhere. Especially considering how much older he was than many of the trainees. He was way past his prime and everyone knew it. If he was meant to debut, he would've done so by now.

"Yoon Jisung," he replied, his grin growing exponentially wider, banishing the negative thoughts into the back of his mind, sticking out his hand, "Hyung works too though, so feel free to use either. Or both. I dunno." 

Daniel's eyes crinkled. "Jisung-hyung, it is! I can't wait to get started. The training. I mean." He rubbed the back of his neck, cheeks flushing red. 

This kid was way too cute to be from Busan, what the hell. He kind of wanted to hug him. Or something. "It's not that fun," Jisung admitted, hating to break Daniel's spirits, "It feels like a lot of waiting. Waiting and working. And hoping." 

Daniel nodded. "This is my second company. I know a little bit about the waiting and working part already. Hopefully this company will be better though." 

Jisung's eyebrows raised. He hadn't been expecting that. Daniel acted a lot like a first timer. It was nice that he'd kept that enthusiasm and zest for the dream though. The cruel, competitive world of trainees hadn't broken him yet. 

Jisung hoped it never would. 

"So, how long have you been here?" Daniel asked, looking around the room, puppy eyes wide and shining, "I was only a trainee for like two months with my old company." 

Well. That made sense. "Three years," Jisung admitted, wishing he could've named a shorter training period to give Daniel more hope for debuting. He felt like an old broken toy in comparison to Daniel, but he didn't dare admit it. And he wouldn't wish that feeling on anyone. 

Daniel turned to Jisung, mouth forming an 'O'. "I hope you debut you soon," he said shyly, dropping his head to the floor. 

Jisung punched the taller boy lightly on the shoulder. "Y'know what," he said, his mouth stretching into a grin, "Let's debut together." 

Daniel stared at him, his jaw still hanging open, eyes shining with what looked almost like hero worship, something that Jisung had not been expecting to see this early on. They barely knew each other and here he was promising to debut with him and Daniel was staring at him like he was a god. It was overwhelming. He wasn't quite sure what to do with this kind of hero worship. He was used to trainees looking down on him because he was older, with a few exceptions, whispering behind his back about how he was an example for trainees who didn't work hard enough or weren't pretty enough, like a horror story to be told about around a campfire in the pitch black of night.

Daniel nodded his head rapidly, fluffy black hair bouncing to and fro and Jisung was hit with the puppy likeness again. "I'd like that," he said eagerly, and then abruptly fell into a deep bow, "I'll work hard to catch up to you, hyung! So we can debut together!" 

Jisung felt his tired, scared, competitive heart be thaw even just a little, and found himself putting a lot more importance into those throwaway words than he'd planned. 

Daniel was, for definite, the cutest, warmest, brightest beacon of light Jisung had ever had the pleasure of meeting. And he swore he would never let that warmth fade or that light be extinguished. He owed that much to him, for making him feel hope for debut all over again. 

He couldn't do anything for the moment except smile at the kid. He really wanted to do this one justice. He needed Daniel to make it, even if he couldn't. Now, he just had to hope he had talent. 

He thanked the whatever gods lay above the first time he saw Daniel dance. 

He was very clearly untrained. He was rough around the edges and he didn't always hit the beats right. He stumbled from time to time, messed up the choreography every now and again and there were moments he moved too slowly. He could be sloppy, he could be disjointed and occasionally even just plain embarrassing to watch.

But when he got it right... He moved as though he was the sea, each move sharp and powerful and precise and flowing into one another with such ease and grace it was breathtaking. He was alluring and eye-catching, charismatic beyond belief, with facial expressions to match. He didn't just dance to the music, he became part of it, he expressed it through his very being, let it move through him as though he was just a vessel for its message to be delivered more clearly to others. 

Jisung wished talent and personality were the only things stopping idols from making it in the industry. Daniel would've succeeded a hundred times over if that was the case. But much better trainees had tried and failed. So while his heart became a hundred times lighter after seeing Daniel dance, fear tightened its vice-like grip on his heart. Now he had to get Daniel to debut. 

He wished that he could control it. He wished he could choose who got to debut. He wished he could force the public to divert their attention to someone so wonderful. But here he was, helpless and useless. He wanted Daniel to succeed. But that want would do nothing. Everyone wanted to succeed. Everyone deserved to succeed. But not everyone managed to. And Jisung hated it. 

He knew he stood no chance. He wasn't particularly good-looking, he was getting old, he never excelled at dancing. In this industry, even in his own company, there was someone out there who was prettier, younger, more likeable, better at dancing, better at singing. Maybe once he'd had a chance. Not anymore. 

This was it. And he felt like crying every time he called Mom and told her that maybe he'd debut soon, maybe in a few months, maybe next year. He just couldn't put the fact he was never debuting into words. He couldn't. That would make it real. He was still feebly holding out hope. He knew he was a waste of money and he knew it was all pointless but his mind kept speaking in maybes and what ifs and he still grasped onto hope. 

Daniel had time. Daniel had talent. He could forget the pain of being forgotten and old and left over when he was focused on Daniel. Daniel only seemed to get better and better and better, whereas it felt like Jisung had stagnated. He wasn't moving. But Daniel was. Maybe if Daniel debuted, he'd feel a bit more fulfilled and be able to admit to himself that he wasn't going to get anywhere as an idol.

Jisung did his best to help Daniel in any way he could. He couldn't do much, since he didn't have Daniel's natural talent for dancing and wasn't a rapper -- something about Daniel that had taken him more by surprise than the Busan thing, he'd been so sure that someone that cute was a vocalist but nope. But however he could, he did his best to help. If that was something as minor as making a bad joke to cheer Daniel up, it felt like enough.

And Daniel repaid him a hundred times over. He showed him the dance moves to choreography he was struggling with, brightened his day with every one of his warm smiles and helped him gain a little bit more confidence in his abilities. And slowly, but surely, their strange bond began to forge itself into a proper friendship.

But while Daniel's friendship brought him more than he could possibly have asked for, it still didn't solve the unavoidable, soul-crushing fact -- they were trainees in a company that seemed to have no plans for debut.

At the start, Jisung kept thinking that Daniel would debut in no time. Without him. He was insanely talented, good-looking and hard-working. He was in essence, perfect. Jisung could never hope to catch up. Daniel had been born with advantages that Jisung simply didn't have and it was unfair and he hated it and he could nothing about it. 

But Daniel didn't debut in no time.

Neither of them did. Each day that passed crushed Jisung a little more. He thought about just giving up so many times. He'd even prepared what he'd say. He'd even looked into college courses. If he didn't debut soon, he'd have to find something else. But his grades were mediocre at best and he'd never been good at anything other than singing. It felt like such a waste too. He'd spent years training and this was it? It was all for nothing? He'd honed and perfected his craft and all for what? What was he meant to do now? 

If Jisung was giving up, Daniel only seemed to being to taking the opposite approach. He worked harder than any other trainee there. Jisung constantly saw him staying behind after every training session, practicing like demon to perfect it. Sometimes Jisung would wait outside, just to see how long he would stay up. He'd almost fallen asleep waiting for him before Daniel finally left the training room, wet with sweat, rubbing his eyes and panting like dog.

It had been 2 AM. Jisung had mumbled to something to Daniel about taking it easy in his sleep-addled state and he'd heard Daniel's laughter, sounding distant to his ears as he drifted in and out of sleep. Daniel had just told him not to worry and that he'd be fine. Jisung didn't believe him. 

Daniel didn't stop pushing himself to the brink, putting his all into everything. It was as though he had no ability to hold himself back, to stretch himself out over a long period, as though he had to prove himself now, even when no one was watching. And what was worse was he pretended he was okay, like he wasn't tired or worn through or in need of a long, long break whenever Jisung looked over at him. The heavy panting, the occasional gasps of pain or strain, weird footsteps that sounded like he was limping would all vanish when he looked over and Daniel's smile, brighter than the sun, and warm black eyes would meet him. Jisung hated it. 

He almost felt like he was encouraging it, sometimes. As though by making that promise, by making Daniel believe that he was ahead of him, he had in some way lead to this extreme training. He kept searching to find a word, a sign that it was his fault, because Jisung felt that some way it had to be. He had to have done something. He didn't even know why he needed to have messed up, but he just had to. He was responsible, he just needed to know how.

Some part of him knew it wasn't just his fault. He hadn't forced Daniel to go this far. But he still wondered if he'd been the one to push him over the edge. He wished he could take it back, whatever it was that he'd said or done. Daniel was the company's ace now, but at what cost?

But over a year passed since Daniel's entrance and still nothing. The two of them were still stuck. And Jisung had all but given up. Even Daniel's stubborn determination seemed to be waning. 

And then Produce 101 Season 2 came along. 

Truth be told, Jisung hadn't paid much attention to the first season. He'd heard of it, of course he had, who hadn't, but he'd never invested in it. It was a cool idea, a hundred and one trainees fight to debut in an eleven member group and had gotten much more popular than anyone expected it too. But he'd just not really cared for it.

But when he found out he was set to be in the second season, he wanted to find out everything about it. 

He nearly broke down after finding out. It was his chance. The company believed in him, old and a visual hole and mediocre at dancing, and wanted him to represent them? He thought they'd given up on him. He'd been ready to leave. He'd been ready to leave, to go work a boring nine to five office job for the rest of his life, haunted by dreams he never fulfilled. And now he had hope, he had what he'd wanted, what he'd needed, a chance to do what he loved and to pray the audience loved him for it.

It was a small affair, telling the trainees they were going to compete in it, considering it was their entire future they were playing with. The five of them squished into the CEO's office and he just told them. There was no drama or showmanship. It was just said, plain and simple. He gave them a short lecture on giving the company a good image and that was it. For all the importance it held, it was so quiet and short. 

They began training for it the next day. It was more rigorous and extreme than anything Jisung had done before. But he pushed through. He had to. He had to do this. This was his last chance. He now understood Daniel's determination. He wanted to put everything into it, show them he was good enough, that he wasn't letting the company down by going onto the show, that he'd make it into the final eleven. Because he didn't know what he'd do if he didn't. There wasn't any other options other than making it in. He had to. This was it for him. 

The other four, after seeming so tired and broken, had returned with the same tenacity. Where there had once been a sense of fear and exhaustion, now the atmosphere of the training room was burning with passion and hope. Every one of them thought they could make it. No. It was more than that. Every one had to make it. They'd all been stuck here for much too long.

The extreme nature of everything -- the training, the emotions, the tension, the hope, the desire -- seemed to happen with their friendship as well. Maybe it was just that the training drove them to spend more time together. 

But Daniel didn't make it easy sometimes. Sure, a lot of the time, hanging around Daniel was a breath of fresh air, a warmth that made all the cold flee, easier than breathing. But it was in the small moments that made Jisung feel unsettled around him. Daniel would make a face whenever someone mentioned vampires, or use the word leech, or roll his eyes whenever he saw vampire spokespeople on TV and change it to those channels that his grandfather used to watch. 

It was easy to brush aside, at the start. To pretend that Daniel was just exaggerating. Or that he was joking and messing around. Or just being stupid. Maybe it was just Jisung's own willingness to overlook any flaw in the person he almost hero-worshipped, the perfect trainee and the perfect friend.

He just tried not to think of Minseok when Daniel got that funny look on his face whenever he mentioned vampires, or when he used the word leech so casually it was almost like it came as easy to him as breathing. He wanted to believe that Daniel was good and flawless so badly that he was willing to lie to himself to pretend it was true. 

He tried to justify it to himself. Daniel was from Busan, he didn't know any better. Daniel thought it meant something else and didn't know it was that kind of word. Daniel wasn't reacting badly to the vampires, just the coverage on them. 

But the small things built up. It was hard to deny the evidence so clearly displayed in front of him. And Jisung wasn't stupid. He knew that Daniel hated vampires, he just didn't want to believe it himself. But it was hard to lie to himself forever. And the cracks in the lie were already beginning to show. Daniel's hate burned as hot as everything else about it him. 

It took longer than Jisung expected for the illusion to shatter, to finally a reach a point where the lie couldn't be maintained any longer. It was a mont before Produce 101 rolled around when they decided to go out to Itaewon and hang out for a bit. Jinwoo said he was going to come with them, but he cancelled at the last second, so it was just the two of them. Wandering around a neighbourhood they barely knew at eleven o'clock at night.

"So... do you know any good bars?" Daniel said, the harsh neon lights of the countless clubs and restaurants reflecting in those warm black eyes. 

"This was Jinwoo's idea, remember? I've been to Itaewon like twice," Jisung said and then paused, smiling sheepishly, "I'm sure we'll stumble across something."

Daniel didn't look convinced but he smiled brightly anyway, that signature warmth radiating off him in a waves and making Jisung feel just a little better. 

"Uh... what are you in the mood for?" 

"Soju, I guess," Jisung said when really he just wanted to go home and snuggle up in his bed and sleep.

Daniel had enough enthuasiasm for both of them. The bright grin never so much as faltered. "I'm sure there's plenty of places we could go find soju... so let's go explore!" 

Jisung let out an exhausted sigh, as though he was eighty years old and being dragged around by an overenthuasiastic grandchild. "Fine." 

But Daniel's upbeat nature was contagious and Jisung couldn't help the smile growing across his face. He was kind of excited. It was kind of like an adventure. Trawling through an unknown neighbourhood under the light of neon signs to go find the perfect soju place. 

And trawl they did. It seemed like Daniel wanted to dive into the depths of Itaewon, find the most obscure, tucked away gem of a restaurant/bar/club thing possible. Jisung was all but begging to just go to the big restaurant across the street by the end of it. All he wanted was soju, they would literally sell it in like 80 percent of places. They did not need to find a specific restaurant to drink soju, of all things. But Daniel just smiled and kept going and Jisung was all but ready to just straight collapse from the walking by the end. 

It took an entire hour for Daniel to settle on a restaurant. It was tiny, hidden away from view in an alleyway, lit in soft blues and pastel pinks, with lime green ivy winding up the white walls the colour of daisy petals. It was cute and warm and homely and screamed Daniel in every way. 

"This is the one?" Jisung asked, the first smile tugging on his lips since the start of the night. 

Daniel nodded and pushed the door open. Jisung followed him in, eyes taking in the interior, and he almost glad that Daniel had spent so long exploring when they'd managed to find this tiny treasure. Inside was just as pretty and inviting as the outside. It was bathed in the warmth of golden light, with small wooden tables and chairs, made from circles and soft angles. Gentle music played in faint tones, creating an air of magic and peace. There was only one other group of people there, two teenage girls who were chatting away in hushed tones, like they were afraid of breaking the atmosphere. 

"Well, this is like the opposite of a bar," Jisung mumbled. 

Daniel shrugged and beamed. "Yeah, but it's pretty cool though. I like it." He hesitated. "Why? Do you want to go find someplace else?" 

"Uh, no, I'm good thanks, this place is perfect. Just let my legs rest please." 

The girl from behind the counter came up to them, smiling brightly. She was surprisingly tall (she had to be at least Jisung's height and she was in flat ballet slippers) ans dressed like the restaurant itself, with coral white skinny jeans and pastel pink jumper with sleeves that looked slightly too long. "Can I get you guys a seat?" 

"So, we're staying?" Daniel asked, sounding so hopeful and looking at him with giant puppy eyes. 

Jisung sighed. How was he supposed to refuse that? "Fine. Yeah, can we have a seat? Oh and do you sell alcohol?" 

"I'm gonna have to ask you for i.d. on that, but yes, we do. And follow me." She smiled brightly at them and lead to one of the tables near the window. "I'll be back with your menus." 

They sat down. There was a silence for a while, but a strangely comfortable one. One that didn't need to be filled. Jisung would've been comfortable enough to stay in the quiet until their menus came. 

"So," Daniel said, all of sudden, shattering the silence, "You glad we went exploring? We wouldn't have found this place otherwise." 

"Yeah, my legs wouldn't be in agony if we had," Jisung said, glaring but begrudgingly admitting, "Yeah, it's pretty cool though." 

Daniel beamed, his smile bright enough to replace the sun. "See, told you it was a good idea." 

"Yeah, yeah, yeah," Jisung said, waving his hand dismissively, that prideful part of him not wanting to admit defeat so easily. But even it was half-hearted, becuase Daniel looked so overjoyed and he didn't want to ruin that. 

The girl handed them their menus, before moving to chat with the two teenagers, who gladly welcomed her into their conversation. 

"So, what are you in the mood to eat?" 

Daniel chewed on his lip. "I didn't think that far ahead." 

"Uh, the whole reason we were looking for a restaurant was to eat? Y'know. Because that's why you go to restaurants?" 

A vivid scarlet spread across Daniel's nose, cheeks and ears. "Yeah, I know," he mumbled, hiding his face behind the menu, "Just was focused on finding the right place." 

Jisung just shook his head in awe. 

"It's all about the atmosphere?" Daniel said, in a poor attempt to defend himself.

"Just choose something to eat, Daniel, or I swear I'll..." Jisung had no idea what he'd do but luckily Daniel got the message before that and buried his head in the menu. 

"We could get a bibimibap and share it?" 

"Are you not hungry or something?" 

Daniel shrugged. "I don't have that much money on me." 

Jisung sighed. "I'm gonna pay for it anyway and I have my credit card, so go wild." 

"Really?" Daniel said, with a bit too much enthuasiasm for Jisung's taste.

"Yeah, I mean, I'm your hyung so I kind of have to. I mean unless you really want to pay --" 

"No, no, thank you hyung!" 

Jisung waved his hand dismissively. "I'm too kind for my own good." 

He was about to tell the girl they were ready to order when another couple of customers entered the restaurant, giggling and swinging their clasped hands back and forth. A pale, slight wisp of a girl, dressed in an oversized jumper and denim jeans, only serving to make her look even smaller and a much taller boy, with massive eyes and a massive smile who was much better dressed than the girl.

The owner smiled apologetically at Jisung and strode over to the couple, who were still whispering to each and giggling. 

"Could we have a seat?" the girl asked, her voice deeper than Jisung had expected, "For two, please" -- she held up two fingers --"and do you serve blood? I don't care what kind, I'm not fussy." She was smiling as she spoke, her tone casual but her hands were shaking and jaw was clenched.

The owner laughed. "Good thing you aren't, because I literally only have O positive -- they're the cheapest at the moment. I'm gonna need some i.d. though, before I sell them to you -- can't be handing out blood to just anyone. And I don't know how you survive on them, blood is so expensive!" 

A giggle escaped the vampire's lips and she visibly relaxed. "It's only one a week, if you're not exercising, like tons. I mean, you don't really need to but y'know what I mean." 

Jisung found a smile tugging at his lips watching the scene unfold. But it took only a few seconds longer for him to feel intrusive and he looked away, back to Daniel, ready to return to their conversation on food. 

Daniel's expression killed the words in his throat. 

His jaw was clenched, his hands curled into bloodless fists, his face twisted into a scowl. 

"Daniel?" Jisung asked, trying to keep his voice steady. 

Daniel's voice came out strangled. "I don't really want to eat here anymore." 

Jisung's brows furrowed. "We literally just got here. We spent hours searching for it and you loved it like three seconds --" 

"Well, that was three seconds ago. We're leaving." Daniel stood up headed for the door before Jisung had a chance to say anything. 

Jisung grabbed the menus and scrambled to his feet, moving after Daniel as quickly as possible. Daniel slammed into the tiny vampire as he walked past her, and maybe it was just the shock, but almost her entire body jerked backwards. 

"Hey, watch where you're going, dick!" she snapped, turning to face Daniel. 

"Fuck off, leech," Daniel snarled, shoving the doors open, not so much as looking back at her. 

The girl flinched at the word. The owner was apologising to the couple by the time Jisung reached them. He handed her back the menus, apologising and bowing profusely as he did so, to both the owner and the girl and then slipping out the doors and chasing Daniel out into the night. 

Daniel hadn't gotten far, thankfully and Jisung caught up to him quickly. He almost seemed to be pretending as though it had all never happened, looking around for a restaurant all over again. Some part of Jisung wanted to follow suit, to preserve the friendship he valued so much, to ignore any problems or flaws in someone he valued so much. But all he could see in his mind's eye when he thought of the vampire was Minseok and how disappointed he'd be in him if he just let Daniel go on like nothing happened. He had to confront him about it eventually. Maybe it was best to just rip the plaster off. 

"Daniel, what the fuck was that?" 

Daniel shrugged, the scarlet blush spreading across his cheeks now that some of the heat of the moment had died down. "She was a leech," he mumbled. 

"And?" Jisung snapped, "She wasn't doing shit? I know they do sometimes attack people and shit but she seemed harml--" 

"Jisung, I just didn't want to have to do anything if she did do something! And besides, blood's kind of disgusting, I don't want to see her drinking that." 

"What do you mean if she did do something? How do you know if she was going to do anything? She looked --" 

"Harmless, yeah, I know!" Daniel said, his eyes narrowing to slits, "I've seen people make that fucking mistake before! Messed up an entire hunting missions!" 

Jisung fell silent. He'd been hoping, in his heart of hearts, that Daniel hadn't been a hunter. That he wasn't one of the extremists from Busan, the murderers, who went around killing vampires left and right, without any regard for which ones were dangerous and which ones weren't. His hopes had been too high. He should've expected as much. Busan was packed to brim with hunters and it was more likely than not that Daniel was one of them. He should've seen it coming. 

"Didn't know you were a hunter," Jisung said, his voice low. 

A pause. "I'm not. I couldn't stand it. I don't like leeches but I don't like killing them either." 

Jisung pushed onwards, even if his common sense was telling him not to. "Why?" 

Daniel glanced at him, meeting his eyes for just second, emotions flashing through his eyes faster than he could track. There was long silence before he answered. Jisung almost expected him not to. 

Daniel shrugged, looking away. His fingers were messing with his sleeve. "Their eyes. Right before they died. They'd go that ugly red, like blood, but... I don't know... they'd look so human in the moment. Some of them, the older ones usually, looked almost... grateful. Or forgiving. Like they didn't blame me. The younger ones just looked scared. And upset." The vulnerability vanished and it changed back to that casual, dismissive tone. "I don't know, it gave me the creeps. It was stupid. I just wanted to be an idol anyway. I was better at dancing than hunting, even if my parents say otherwise." 

"If they looked so human, why do hate them? They clearly just want to get on with their lives. I don't think that tiny girl was going to do anything! If anything, she seemed nice, a lot nicer than you were right about then." 

Daniel's jaw clenched and that hot fury was back again, blazing and burning. "I've seen smaller rip people apart. Besides, it was probably just an act. They all just want to go back to the good old days, when they were in charge and they could pick us all off like flies and we'd never know. They hate the regulations and they're just waiting for the chance to get rid of them so they can go eat all of us without any restrictions." 

"Not all of them," Jisung said, trying to rein back his own anger, Minseok in his mind's eye, who wasn't like the other vampires and was nice and kind and helpful, and maybe he couldn't defend everyone but maybe he could defend Minseok. 

"Yeah, not all of them, but enough of them to matter. Besides, have you even met a vampire, Jisung --" 

Low blow. Jisung didn't even let him finish, losing his handle on his own rage. "Of course I fucking have, you dick, just because I'm not as much of a shitbag as you about it, doesn't mean I've never seen one --" 

"Oh yeah, I'm sure you just love vampires, love to defend them, and you've never actually seen how fucked up they actually are --" 

"I've seen them on TV looking terrifying, you dick, I'm not an idiot, I fucking know what they look lik--" 

"On TV?! Jisung, that's on a screen. Imagine that in real life, you haven't seen shit. How many leeches have you actually met --" 

Jisung's nails were digging into his palms. "Why the fuck does that matter? All the lee -- vampires you've met, you've been trying to kill, yeah, that's a really accurate representation of how vampires act all the time --" 

"Fuck you! Just fuck you! You've met like one leech, for sure. Those things could rip your throat out without a second thought and I've seen them do it, they kill people all the time and you think that just because you met one nice leech, all of them are like that. Well guess what they're not, you fucking dumbass --" 

"Y'know what, I'm going home. I can't do this." Jisung turned away, walking back in the direction they came. 

"Fine!" Daniel yelled after him, "Have fun moping over your fucking leeches and crying about how badly those monsters are treated, you ass! I'm going to go find someplace to eat on my own. I don't need you anyway!" 

"Fine! Fuck you, anyway, dick, I hate you!" Jisung screamed, turning to face him again, walking backwards, "I wish someone would turn you into a leech, so you could get a taste of your own fucking medicine, you -- you hunter scum!" 

Daniel's face was twisted into an ugly contortion of rage, his eyes squinting angrily like he was holding back tears. He'd begun to move in the other direction, deeper into Itaewon. "I'd just kill myself if that happened, you fucking dickhead! Better to die than live as leech! Hope you enjoy being at home alone, crying and acting like you care when you just care about one leech! At least I'm honest about hating them, you're just in fucking denial, you ass." 

It hit closer to home than Jisung expected. And that made him even angrier, that Daniel had manage to stab him so close to the heart, so close it scared him. "Fuck you!" he screamed back, but Daniel was already after burying himself into the crowd, disappearing off into the night. Jisung wanted to yell more, shout obscenities that would make mothers cover their children's ears, scream until his voice was raw. But he was so angry, burning so hot on the inside, his blood turning to liquid magma in his veins, that he couldn't put into words. 

So he just gave up, and walked home alone, exhausted, angry and hurting, ready to lash out at anyone who moved too close. Daniel didn't come back to the building until almost one in the morning and that rage burned as hot as ever, so Jisung didn't even bother talking to him. He could make it up to him in the morning. 

Everything would be fine in the morning. He'd fix everything then. They could move on and just focus on Produce 101, and pretend this entire episode never happened.


	3. II

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Trigger warning for bulimia-like actions and mentions of suicide:  
> Bulimia starts at:  
> He had no idea what Daniel was thinking and that scared him more than he could put into words.  
> and goes all the way up to:  
> He kneeled down in front of Daniel and looked up into his eyes for the first time since they'd returned...
> 
> Mentions of suicide begin at:  
> And then Daniel opened his mouth, at long last, to speak and the words that came from his mouth were so quiet Jisung almost missed them.  
> And end at:  
> Daniel's eyes narrowed to slits, flashing ..., fists clenched and he opened his mouth.
> 
> This chapter is pretty heavy, as is the next, so this is where the heavy angst really kicks in.

Everything wasn't fine in the morning. Instead, Daniel got sick and Jisung felt like even more a asshole.

It was odd, because Daniel never really got sick. He was always insanely healthy, to match his endless enthuasiasm.

Jisung was scared out of his wits. His mind raced, considering only the worst and most nightmarish possibilities, despite every sign pointing to the fact it was just a small bout of the fever, or food poisoning from the night before. The company didn't even bother to call in a doctor, it was so obvious. 

Daniel was still capable of doing stuff on the first day, training as hard as ever, and Jisung hated it. 

He hated that Daniel felt he had to train even though he was sick, he hated the company for pressuring him to continue and he hated himself for not stopping it. But he was still too angry from the night before to say anything. All he could think when he looked at Daniel was the massive argument and all the things he'd said, that stabbed too deep and hurt too much and struck too close his heart. So he stayed quiet and he hated himself for it. 

The second day, Daniel was so tired he stayed in bed for the entire day. 

The idea of Daniel staying up in bed, all alone, still thinking of the argument made Jisung feel sick to his stomach. He decided to finally stop being such an ass and just apologise. He didn't want Daniel to feel sick and angry or guilty. 

So he marched up to Daniel's bed like a man on a mission, giant teddy bear in his arms and opened the door, determined to make things right before it was too late. Before the stupid argument did irreversible damage to the friendship he valued too much. 

Daniel looked so tiny, his big frame curled up in on itself, squashing himself into a small corner of the bed. He was snoring softly.

"Uh, Daniel?" Jisung said as loudly as he dared, his hands shaking. 

Daniel stirred, eyes fluttering open. "Yeah?" he mumbled, his voice hoarse and groggy, eyes glazed over and eyelids drooping. 

"Um. I... I just want to apologise. About what I said, like two nights ago." He chewed on his lip. "I went too far." 

Daniel looked slightly more alert. "No, no, I said a lot of stuff I didn't mean either. I mean, you probably did the same. I should be apologising." 

"I mean, it's really both our faults. I think we both took it too far." 

Daniel nodded, looking too tired to argue. 

"Uh. I got you a teddy bear," Jisung said, fiddling with it, "Just a get well soon gift." 

His eyes lit up. "For real? Can I see?" 

Jisung handed it over to him, trying to keep his hands from trembling as he did so.

Daniel all but clung to it, smiling so brightly the sun paled by comparison. Jisung's heart felt like it was going to burst out of his chest with affection. It was shit gift and Daniel was acting like it was the world to him.

"Thank you, hyung." 

Jisung waved a dismissive hand, even as he struggled to hold back a smile. "It was no big deal, just figured you could use something to cheer you up." 

"Yeah, for sure. Food poisoning sucks." 

"So it's definitely food poisoning?" 

Daniel shrugged. "I think it is. I texted my mom and she said it probably was." 

Jisung hesitated. "Do you feel it's getting any better?" 

"No," Daniel said, suddenly avoiding his gaze, "I feel really bad. I'm so tired. It's like all my energy's gone." 

"I'm sure you'll be better soon." 

"Yeah. I hope so. I don't want to fall too far behind. You guys better wait up for me." 

Daniel's smile hurt to look at. But Jisung returned it anyway. "You better get better fast, we can't wait for anyone." 

"I will, I promise. I'll be good as new tomorrow." 

Jisung hoped so. He hated seeing him so sick. It felt wrong, to see someone usually so filled with boundless energy, looking so lethargic.

Daniel kept dropping off to sleep the entire time he was there, still clinging to the giant teddy bear. He wanted to stay by his bed the entire day, but the company wouldn't let him, for fear he'd catch whatever Daniel had and because he had training to do.

So he spent the entire day feeling like shit for not having defied the company and done it anyway. But Produce 101 was his chance. He had to make it. He was so afraid the company would cut him, so terrified that he didn't dare do anything. His hands shook at the mere thought of not getting to do it. He was old. He needed this. 

And then he remembered it was Daniel's chance too. 

And he felt sick to his core. But he didn't do anything, so focused on himself and his own needs and wants that he didn't bother to visit Daniel more than twice. And all he could think of while he was training was how lonely and terrified and sick Daniel had to feel and then crushed that thought. Daniel was an adult. He didn't need to baby him. 

And he worked even harder, putting everything into the training, trying to push those guilty thoughts out of his mind through sheer focus and overworking. Even the trainers commented that he should take it easy and to save his energy. 

He couldn't rest or else he thought of Daniel. And every time he did, his heart felt heavy and he felt bile rising up his throat. So he didn't dare even envision him, even for a second. 

He barely slept that night. He tossed and turned, thinking of the youngest trainee of the five, who was so sick he couldn't even do anything. He should've been doing more, as the eldest. He should've been making sure Daniel was okay, contacting Daniel's parents, making sure the company got him checked out, just in case.

Sheer exhaustion from the day's training was what finally drove him into an uneasy, light sleep. And even then, he thought of Daniel.

Then, on the third day, everything went horribly, horribly wrong. 

The day started off great. Daniel seemed to be getting better, making Jisung feel a hundred times lighter. He was sitting up now, and eating more. He was talking more, even though his voice was still a little hoarse. He was less sleepy, more giddy and more determined to get back to training than ever. The rest of the trainees were allowed to visit him more often. 

Jisung took that opportunity. He visited Daniel every chance he could, trying to keep the boy's spirits up, talking and laughing and trying to explain what they'd done over the past few days to him. He tried to do as much as he could with Daniel still being bedridden. He spent as much time as the company would allow before they pulled him back to practice and maybe it was just his imagination, but Daniel's face seemed to fall a little, every time that happened. 

Still, it was better. Much much better than the day prior. Daniel would be up on his feet by the next day, for sure. There had been no reason for worry. None at all. It had all been stupid and Daniel was going to get better and they were all going to go to Produce 101 and have a fantastic time. It would all be perfect. Like something out of a fairytale. His instincts had been wrong and thank God for it. 

And then, that evening, Daniel began screaming. 

The first scream was weak and Jisung thought he'd misheard it at first. He'd brushed it aside and continued on. None of the other trainees reacted, so he presumed he was just hearing things. 

The second one was louder. He nearly slipped when he heard, almost messing up the entire dance. A few of the trainees flinched. He met Jinwoo's wide eyes for just a second, who looked as shaken as he felt. The trainer yelled at them to continue. The fear lasted for only a moment. They moved on. 

The third scream... The third scream was bloodcurdling. It sounded subhuman, feral, twisted. It sounded like the scream of a deranged madman, in so much pain and confusion that all there was left to do was scream and yell until his throat was raw and damaged, even if no one else was around to hear. It sounded like a wounded animal, calling out for someone to save it. Or end its misery.

Jisung's stomach dropped to his feet. He froze and the other three followed suit. They stood there, panting, eyes wide and hands shaking. The trainer couldn't even form the words to order them to continue. Jisung swallowed hard, a terrible thought of where it came from growing in his mind. 

The fourth scream came soon after. It was just as twisted and foul as the third, if not worse. And Jisung, even through the inhuman sounds, made out the owner. And that suddenly kicked his body into action, even while his brain was still processing what he had just heard. 

He bolted up the stairs, everyone else too shocked and scared to stop him, still glued to their spots. Tears pricked at his eyes, his heart hammered in his chest and his breath came out in gasps and heaves but he didn't dare stop until he reached Daniel. 

He pushed open the door and the sight that greeted him was worse than any nightmare scenario his mind could've conjured up. 

The first thing he noticed when he stepped inside the room, was how hot it was. It felt like he was after stepping onto a massive frying pan and he was being cooked alive. 

The second thing he noticed was Daniel himself.

He was convulsing and shaking in the bed, eyes bulging and gasping for air, as though his lungs weren't working right. Those warm tawny cheeks were flushed red and his hair and clothes were drenched with sweat. The stench of vomit permeated the air, staining the carpet beside him. There was so much of it. It was like he'd thrown up everything he'd eaten or drank in the past few days. The teddy lay on the floor, forgotten or thrown aside, Jisung couldn't tell which, and the blankets were beside it, in a heap as though flung there. The company staff were in the midst of trying to take a temperature and calling a doctor at the same time. And in the middle of the horrific sight, another spine-chilling scream left his mouth. 

Jisung wanted to help but he had no idea how. The situation seemed hopeless. Only one awful thought struck his mind. Daniel looked like he was dying. 

He stood there, muscles locked in place, while people rushed around around him, eyes fixed on Daniel, who'd seemed, only a few hours previously as though he was nearly healthy. 

He approached him slowly, as though moving towards a rabid dog. Reaching out, he touched his forehead cautiously, even while Daniel shook. He ripped it away quickly. Daniel felt like he was a furnace. Like he was on fire. 

He was going to die. Daniel was going to die. What could a doctor possibly do in a situation like this? What the hell was even happening? What was he supposed to do? 

Some part of him screamed that it wasn't rational, that he was jumping to conclusions but his mind was so addled the thoughts got lost before he had a chance to process them.

Hs slid down on the floor next to Daniel's deathbed, next to the blankets and the teddy and lay his head against the bed frame. Bile rose in his throat. He put his head in his hands, wishing he'd done more, he'd done something, anything. But what? What could he actually do?

A dry angry sob slipped from his lips, the tears refusing to fall while he was still struggling to wrap his head around the thought. Daniel was dying. He wanted to scream, to shout and yell and protest and rip Daniel out of death's cold hands before he had a chance to claim one of the brightest things in Jisung's life. But he couldn't. His heart was still coping with the mere thought of it and he felt like a single touch would shatter him.

He overheard one of the staff murmuring that the doctor was coming. Jisung prayed to whichever cruel god would answer that the doctor would be fast and that Daniel would be safe and his worst fear wouldn't come to life. 

But it felt like forever before the doctor came. Every second seemed to extend into eternity as Daniel screamed and struggled and shook, growing weaker and weaker as though he was losing an uphill battle. And he grew warmer and warmer, almost like his body was trying to spontaneously combust. 

Jisung held onto Daniel's hand with his trembling one, even as the younger boy flailed and convulsed. He pressed his forehead to the burning hand and cried so hard he thought he'd never stop. The sobs hurt his throat, so violent and angry and scared that they sounded more like the coughs of a dying man, the tears flooding down his cheeks in streams, so thick he couldn't see anything through his wet eyes.

If the other trainees entered, he hadn't noticed, so buried in his fear that everything else fell away. Normally he would've hated them to see him like this, so vulnerable and weak. It felt like he was showing his insides to the world, like he'd been forcibly opened up and displayed to everyone and they saw everything he was and everything he'd ever be. But he couldn't bring himself to care. Daniel was dying.

He sat there for what felt like hours, days, years, even though it couldn't have been much more than ten minutes. The hospital was close. It wouldn't take long to get here. 

But it seemed like eons. Time had coming to a grinding halt when he'd most needed it to speed by. But God had proven himself to be cruel and merciless, and stretched Daniel's pain out for as long as possible. 

Daniel's voice sounded hoarse at this stage, the blood-curdling screams having begun to take their toll. His entire body was flushed bright red by now, not just his cheeks, his skin so hot that Jisung thought he'd get third degree burns from his grasp on Daniel's hand. His eyes, looking so lifeless and empty, like black voids, looked like they were about to fall out from their sockets. 

Every now and then, between the quick pants and deep gasps, his breathing would just stop. And Jisung's heart stopped with it, terrified that he wouldn't inhale again, that that was it. That he was dead and gone and this fucked up disease, whatever it was, had taken him from them. 

And every time he finally did take a deep breath, Jisung thanked the cruel God that had inflicted this disease on him. He almost laughed through his tears whenever it happened, like a madman. Daniel was alive. Daniel was still alive. He'd managed to win that tiny battle and he was still with them. 

He wanted to whisper to Daniel to hold on, to keep fighting, help would be there soon. But he couldn't bring himself to say the words. His lips were sealed shut and he was so scared of saying something stupid or wrong and killing Daniel and that was a stupid thought, and he knew it but he was so scared and, his rational mind wasn't working and his irrational thoughts were running amok, he couldn't think clearly, he could barely think at all and he hated it and his hands were trembling and his heart was hammering like a drum against his chest and he couldn't breathe right and there were moments were it felt like he couldn't breathe at all and he was so so so scared and so so so so so terrified and he couldn't do this and he couldn't do anything he couldn't do it Daniel was dying Daniel was dying he couldn't do this he couldn't even breathe and - 

The doctor walked into the room, briefcase in hand, and Jisung collapsed in relief. It was alright now. Everything was okay. Daniel would be safe. Everything would be okay. It was all okay. The doctor could fix everything. The doctor would fix everything. It was all okay.

The doctor put the briefcase down and stepped towards Daniel and his eyes widened in an expression that made Jisung's stomach do a backflip. But worst of all, he couldn't pinpoint what the doctor was thinkng. Was Daniel going to die? Or was it all okay? Had everything been blown way out of proportion?

"Tear open his shirt," the doctor ordered, his voice calmer than his expression, moving quickly towards Daniel. He made it over to him in a few steps and immediately began inspecting Daniel's body. 

Confusion bubbled within him, but Jisung did as ordered, the staff rushing to help. They quickly began tearing it off him, hindered by their confusion and bolstered by their desperation. What the hell were they even looking for? But they had barely torn the shirt when they found their answer.

It was hard to miss. Sitting just a bit above his collarbone, on his left side. It almost looked like it pulsing, flushed a bright red, angry and violent, like the one who inflicted it's only aim to cause the most amount of pain possible. Jisung had heard of them before, of course, who couldn't have, but he'd never seen one up close before. 

A vampire bite. 

The doctor stepped back, sighing deeply, eyes fixed on the bite. He took a few moments before picking up his briefcase and opening it, taking out two bags of blood and handing them to one of the members of staff, who stood near Daniel's bed, jaws hanging open. 

Jisung couldn't help but stare at the doctor. Why wasn't he doing anything? Daniel couldn't become a lee -- vampire. He couldn't. He'd kill himself if he did. 

"W-what are you doing?" Jisung managed, words stumbling out his mouth, clumsy and desperate, "Why aren't you doing anything?"

The doctor looked at Jisung, eyes sad and sympathetic. He sighed deeply, suddenly looking very, very tired, like he'd seen this far too many times before, before finally speaking. "What can I do? We have no cure. I'm afraid he'll have to spend the rest of his very long life as a vampire." There was a short pause and the doctor looked away. "He'll begin to lose heat very quickly in a bit. He should wake up soon." 

He turned to walk out and Jisung stared out after him, heart aching as though it had been torn into thousands of tiny pieces. The doctor paused and met his eyes and said, so quietly that he could barely hear him,"I'm sorry." And with that he was gone, leaving Jisung to adjust to the revelation on his own. 

It had felt like it had taken him forever to get here and he'd left in a matter of seconds. And any hope that Jisung had once claimed had slipped from his fingers.

It was like a cruel joke. Jisung kept expecting the punchline. But it didn't seem to be coming. 

He slid down again next the Daniel's bed, who had now stopped shaking and flailing and was lying still, breathing shallowly. He reached up and grasped the boy's hand. It still burned like a furnace. He tried to keep the normal warm of Daniel's hand in mind. He risked a glance at him, trying to savour in his last moments as a human, something Daniel didn't even get to be conscious for. 

And as Daniel's hand in his grasp began to lose heat rapidly, his mind was filled with images of a pure, human Daniel, whole, adorable, funny and, more than anything, warm. He tried to keep ahold of everything that had been so human about Daniel - his warm tawny skin, the way his cheeks flushed when he was drunk or embarrassed, the way he radiated heat and the feeling of his heart beating when they hugged, even those moments were rare, how he'd wiggle under the covers when he felt too cold and shove anyone off with warm hands when they got too close. 

"Jisung?" he heard a voice near him whisper and he turned to meet Jinwoo's eyes, who looked so sympathetic and sad that it made Jisung's heart a clench a little. "He's going to wake up soon. He might..." 

Jinwoo didn't finish his sentence but he didn't have to. Jisung felt sick to his stomach at the thought of Daniel attacking him. He would never. He couldn't. He wasn't like that. Daniel couldn't. He just couldn't. He'd be fine. Daniel wouldn't hurt him. He couldn't. 

But Jisung knew better. He dropped the boy's hand, which had begun to feel icy, so far removed from his usual warmth. He moved away, standing in line with the other three trainees, not daring to so much as look at them, for fear of seeing what they thought of him. It felt like it was all happening much too fast.

It was still hard for him to comprehend Daniel as anything other than warm and cuddly. But laying on the bed in front of him was a version of Daniel that was anything but. 

He looked washed-out, bloodless, almost like he was from a black-and-white film from the forties. His skin looked like porcelain, disconcerting in its perfection. His eyes were closed now, almost as though he was sleeping, and he looked so peaceful in comparison to the sickening sight from a few moments prior. He looked almost like a marble statue from the Renaissance, flawless and dead. 

There was a long pause, as everyone held their breath and Daniel lay deathly still. Jisung was still trying to adjust to the idea of this new Daniel, who looked pale and perfect, lacking the warmth that had defined him. He could care about this Daniel just as much, right? The vampire thing didn't change a thing, right? 

Something important occured to him in the silence as they waited. He was irritated he hadn't thought of it until this point but glad he'd thought of it before Daniel woke up. "Did someone call his parents?" he whispered, afraid to speak any louder.

He risked a glance at the others and Jinwoo nodded, not meeting his eyes. Jisung was glad for it. He wasn't sure if he was able to deal with eye contact and the intimacies it brought right now. 

"His mom's in Seoul," came the quiet reply, "She's coming as quickly as she can. We called her before the doctor came." 

Jisung just swallowed and nodded and went back to the tense waiting. 

Finally, after a few very long minutes, Daniel stirred. Someone had placed the blood bags on the bed, thankfully, so hopefully Daniel wouldn't attack anyone. Hopefully he would return himself quickly. He just wanted Daniel back, not the monster that he was scared that the boy he felt so protective of might turn out to be. 

Daniel's eyes opened slowly and Jisung didn't dare breathe the entire time, didn't dare let his eyes stray from the boy.

There was a momentary pause before a deep inhale. Nothing abnormal was happening and Jisung's confusion mounted. Where was the monster that was a newly-turned vampire that the news constantly reported on? That feasted on people like they were nothing more than bags of food and left a trail of dead bodies in their wake? Where was a version of that thing from the news, but in Daniel's body?

That moment of confusion lasted barely a second. Suddenly, Daniel moved so quickly, Jisung's heart almost lept out of his throat and he took several clumsy steps back, trying to stop his hands from shaking and to calm his rapid breathing. 

Daniel seized one of the blood bags and tore it open with unnervingly sharp fangs that peaked out from beneath his mouth. He all but inhaled the entire thing in seconds, deep crimson blood staining his lips and hands. He moved onto the second one, ripping it open with the same vigour, gulping it down in an even shorter amount of time. His hands shook as he drank, like a ravenous animal who was scared of having its food taken from it. The blood slid down his chin and dripped into his hands, but it was like Daniel wasn't willing to let any of the blood go to waste. He began licking his hands, not even flinching when those long, cruel teeth tore his skin. 

Jisung's heart stopped. He couldn't do anything but stare, the urge to vomit rising in his throat. That blood belonged to real people. Daniel was going to have to drink blood from people. And what the hell could those teeth do to someone's neck? He could probably kill them without even trying. Those concerns he'd dismissed, from Daniel and his grandfather, suddenly seemed a lot more reasonable.

And then he met Daniel's eyes as he paused for a moment, panting, even despite his lack of need to breathe. His irises looked bloody, the pupils blown wide. A deep, unsettling crimson, to match the blood on the sharp fangs extended from his mouth. He couldn't see anything of Daniel in that moment, just a starving bloodsucker, hungry for its next meal and seeking the weaknesses of the prey presented in front of him. He could only see the creature the TV had feared and demonised, wild and hungry and unsettling.

And then the red faded to back to his normal warm black and the fangs retracted back into his mouth and the monster was gone and it was just Daniel. Jisung almost let out a sigh of relief, joy at seeing something he could recognise, even if it was pale and cold and dead. 

Daniel looked up at them, brows knitting together. He looked a little tired and a little confused, but a small smile grew on his face and Jisung's heart swelled at the sight of the warm, adorable Daniel that meant so much to him. He tried to focus on this Daniel, not the bloodthirsty monster that had been in his place just a few minutes ago.

Daniel opened his mouth but not even the first syllable had slipped out and he froze. He'd realised. Jisung hadn't expected it to be so fast. The fleeting moments of apprehensive joy had vanished. His eyes were on his hands, stained with crimson with blood. Those bloodstained hands began to shake and he spoke in a whisper, a shaky, small voice, worlds away from his usual confidence, "What did I do?"

Jisung wanted to help. Somehow. Any way he could. But even though he had glimpsed the trainee who he knew and loved, the image of a monster wearing Daniel's face was fixated in his mind. All he could see were sharp teeth and crimson eyes. His heart was still beating at rapid pace and he was glued to the spot. He couldn't move. He couldn't comfort Daniel. All he could do was watch. 

Daniel's gaze travelled towards the blood bags and the ferocious incisions in them and his hand crept towards his neck. He wasn't stupid. He looked unnervingly calm, considering he seemed to be considering the possibility of him being the very thing his parents had raised him to hate. 

Jisung wished that those beautiful moments of ignorance had lasted just a bit longer. He wished Daniel had thought he was human a little longer, thought he was still just sick with fever, thought the blood on his hands was just something small, from a cut or a cough or something other than drinking blood. He wished that Daniel hadn't been raised by hunters, that he knew a little less about vampire, that he was a little slower to put the pieces together. He wished whatever twisted vampire had bitten Daniel hadn't done so, that Daniel had stopped it somehow. He wished he hadn't left Daniel that night, that he hadn't gotten into that stupid argument. He wiahed he'd been there with him that night, to watch out that no one spiked his drink with vampire blood. He wished he could've moved, could've done something other than sit in fear and tremble as he watched Daniel make one of the most horrifying realisations in his life. But he couldn't. And he hated himself all the more for it.

Daniel's hand shook as he searched for his neck for something Jisung knew he wouldn't find, his movements speeding up and getting more and more clumsy and desperate. His eyes were wide and his jaw slack, and Jisung couldn't even see his chest rise and fall. Not that he needed to breathe anymore. 

His pale hand fell to his side. Daniel stared blankly ahead of him. Jisung's heart caught in his throat, so scared of what might happen next he could barely breathe. He thought he knew Daniel like the back of his hand but in this situation he had no idea how he himself would react. He had no idea what Daniel was thinking and that scared him more than he could put into words. 

Suddenly Daniel began making retching movements. His hands were gripping the bed so tightly that his knuckles were chalk white and he continued to making vomiting actions, as though something was stuck in his throat. 

Jisung's brows furrowed. He was fairly certain vampires didn't get sick. Maybe the doctor had misdiagnosed and Daniel was alright and there was nothing to worry about it had just a been a simple case of fever after. He knew it was stupid and he knew he was reaching at straws but he didn't care, he didn't give a shit, he just wanted Daniel to be human and himself again.

And then Daniel reached his trembling fingers into mouth, and Jisung's stomach dropped. All he could do was watch as Daniel repeatedly trying to stick his fingers down his throat, each attempt more violent and desperate than the last. His body was reacting, the desired gag reflex kicking in, but nothing was coming out.

And everyone knew nothing would be coming out. A newly-turned vampire wasn't going to be puking up its first meal so easily. A vampire's body, especially after going through something as draining as a transformation, needed that blood like a man dying of dehydration needed water. Daniel knew that, for sure. But he didn't seem to care, continuing to try to fight against his new body. And Jisung still couldn't move. He wanted to stop Daniel but he couldn't even fucking move.

Daniel paused for a second and Jisung was filled with hope for the barest of moments before Daniel slammed his fist against his stomach and made another vomiting action. He was trembling like a leaf at this stage, but he continued to slam his fist against his stomach, unrelenting. Every slam was harder than the last, every retch was more emphasised than the last, every attempt to forcibly push his blood from his system with his fist more aggressive and shakier than the one that came before. He was still staring into the distance, looking for all the world like his actions were mechanical, as though working by impulse rather a conscious choice -- if not for the terror and desperation in his clumsy, broken movements. 

Something about the sight of one of the people most important to him trying to force themselves to throw up the very thing that their body so desperately needed kick-started his limbs. Jisung found himself moving towards Daniel, his movements uncoordinated and slow, but hellbent on stopping him. He owed Daniel that much, no matter what the boy was. Daniel had brought so much light into his life, the very least he could do was stop him from trying to destroy his own body. 

He kneeled down in front of Daniel and looked up into his eyes for the first time since they'd returned to their original colour instead of the ugly, unnatural crimson. And he hated what he saw in those normally warm black eyes. He'd never seen Daniel in so much pain before, filled with fear and hurt and confusion, eyes shining with unshed tears. 

Jisung pulled the boy's pale cold arms from his stomach, which came free with surprising ease. A loud sob broke from Daniel's lips, breaking the fragile silence, and his eyes fell to his lap, almost as though he didn't dare meet his eyes. 

"J-Jisung I have to get it out, I have to, that's someone's blood, I drank a real human being's blood, I have to -- I can't do this -- Please -- I have to --" 

"Shh," Jisung whispered, trying to push away his fear and uncertainty, trying to be strong, if not for himself, for Daniel, even as the cold hands set his teeth on edge,"You can. You can do this. The company needs you. You're our ace. We need you. You can do this." 

Daniel's body jerked with the heaving dry sobs, and he shook his head rapidly, his eyes still glued to his lap and Jisung wanted to lift his head so badly, to meet those pained eyes, but he held back. Daniel wasn't ready. He could wait. Daniel was his priority. 

"I can't -- I can't -- What do I do now -- Jisung I can't do anyth -- the company's going to kick me ou -- how can I do Produce when I'm a-a-a-- l-leech -- they won't let me do it -- they won't -- I can't -- " 

Jisung squeezed one of those freezing hands, trying to reassure Daniel any way he could. He did his best to smile, even a watery, small smile. "It's going to be okay," he said, his voice so much stronger than he actually felt,"The company needs you. They won't kick you out, they can't. They need you for Produce 101. Don't worry, they'll let you on. They'll have to, you're our ace. You can do it." 

Daniel fell silent and the heavy silence returned. He seemed to stay quiet for an eternity. Jisung thought he'd finally gotten through to him, that he'd finally managed to make Daniel realise it was all okay and it would all be okay, even if he didn't actually believe that himself. What mattered was that Daniel believed him. He needed Daniel to believe him. To have faith that there was a light at the end of this dark tunnel. And maybe, just maybe, Daniel had finally been swayed and he wouldn't do anything stupid or irrational and thoughtless. And then Daniel opened his mouth, at long last, to speak and the words that came from his mouth were so quiet Jisung almost missed them. 

"Jisung, I want you to kill me."

Jisung froze, his grasp on Daniel's ice cold hand loosening. He'd known it was coming, but it still shook him so deeply that he couldn't string together a sentence to reply.

Daniel pushed on, his tone growing stronger and angrier as he went on. "I can't live like this, I can't become leech, Jisung you have to kill me. Or at least find something I can kill myself with. Don't you dare try to stop, Jisung, please give me this. Look at me, I'm disgusting, I just drank someone's blood, I -- I wanted to drink your blo--" 

"How could you ask me to do that?" 

Daniel looked like he'd been slapped in the face. "What? Hyung, I -- I can't live as a leech, I can't --" 

"Why?" 

Daniel's eyebrows pulled together. "I just thought about drinking your blood, hyung, I wanted to kill you, I'm not human anymore, I don't deserve to live, it'll be easier this way --" 

"For who?" Jisung snapped, "For you? What about us? Are you such a selfish ass that all you can think about it yourself? What are we supposed to do if you go and kill yourself?" His breath caught in his throat and he almost began crying again. "I just got you back, you ass, I thought you were going to die, you looked like you were fucking dying, why would you ask me to do something like that? How do you expect me to do something like that?" 

"But... But I can't be a leech. I can't live like this," Daniel said, his tone still verging on directionless anger.

"Why not? Why can't you live as a vampire? We could probably find a sire or something to adopt you, blood is expensive, sure, but the company could afford it, you could still win Produce 101, they'll still let you compete, you're our company's ace after all, we could make it work."

Daniel's eyes narrowed to slits, flashing red, fists clenched and he opened his mouth. No words came out. He closed it again and opened it and closed it and on and on until the anger collapsed in on itself and Daniel looked so small without that hatred holding him up. His hands shook and his eyes watered. 

"I'm scared, hyung."

Jisung smiled as widely as he could. "Me too. But we can make it work. We can do this." 

"I'm so scared," Daniel said, his voice thick with sobs, "I don't know if I'll be able to do this. I don't wanna die but I don't know if I can do this." And with that, tears flooded down his face and Jisung's blood ran cold.

Jisung had always assumed that vampires cried like humans. Why wouldn't they? They were almost human. They had all once been human. And how else would they cry? What other way of crying was there? But now all he could do was stare at the tears, hoping his horror didn't show on his face.

Because rolling down Daniel's cheeks in the place of water was blood. 

It made Jisung's skin crawl. It looked like something out of a nightmare, so unnatural and unnerving, the bloody tears staining Daniel's skin a deep crimson. Daniel didn't seem to have noticed, thankfully, and Jisung tried his best not to give anything away. He could deal with that revelation later. Right now, his aim was to stop Daniel's further spiral into desperation and fear. Blood tears wouldn't do anything to help.

Then, before he had a chance to do anything to prevent Daniel from noticing the tears, a woman approached the door who had awfully familiar features, looking uneasy but smiling nonetheless, a paper box in hand. Her eyes surveyed the room and everyone in it, as though pinpointing their weaknesses and exits, just in case. But what she said was far from what Jisung expected. 

"Daniel, sweetie?" she said, voice thick with worry, "I thought that you were sick with a fever? Well, not quite a fever, but something along those lines. Did you feel better so quickly? You look awfully pale. Is everything alright? I brought some of your favourite cakes to hopefully cheer you up a little." 

Daniel froze, confirming Jisung's suspicions. He was glad, on Daniel's part, that Daniel was faced away from the door and it was him who was facing it. Daniel's trembling hand was clinging onto his, as though he could somehow figure out what to do just by holding onto his hand. The tears were still spilling out of Daniel's eyes, and his breaths were shallow and shaky, eyes suddenly clouding with fear. 

Jisung did his best to not let his smile falter. "Go on," he whispered, "You can do it. She's your mother. She loves you." He hoped he was right and he wasn't feeding Daniel false hope. 

Daniel's face was chalk white but he pressed his lips together and nodded slowly, trembling like a leaf. He rose from the bed and Jisung moved out of the way, letting him move past him. Daniel rubbed his eyes hurriedly with his sleeves as he did so, managing to get rid of a surprising amount of those blood tears but staining his sleeves in the process. Daniel took a single, deep, shaky breath and turned to meet her.

His eyes were glued to the floor and he was wringing his fingers as he spoke. "Mom?" he said, so quietly that Jisung had lean forward to hear it. 

He wanted to keep his nose out of it. It was a private conversation, between family, but he was so scared Daniel's mother would react violently that he couldn't help but listen and watch, heart hammering against his ribcage as he did so.

His mother took a few steps forward, her eyes taking in her son in one quick sweeping glance. "You look so pale," she said, reaching her hand towards his cheek. Daniel flinched away from it. She seemed shocked at the reaction, letting her hand fall to her side. "What's wrong, sweetie?" 

Daniel stayed silent, still not daring to meet her gaze. There was a pause before either of them did anything. Then his fingers twitched. He slowly moved his hand towards hers, holding her hand loosely for the barest of moments, before dropping his hand back to his side again. 

It was taken as an invitation to try again and she pressed her hand to his cheek and she suddenly shuddered, eyes widening. "You're freezing, honey," she said, her voice gaining in volume, motherly determination beginning to present itself, "We have to get you warmed..." 

She trailed off as her eyes surveyed the room once more. The answer was all but laid out in front of her. The empty blood bags weren't hidden and the wound from the vampire bite was visible thanks to slight tear in his top. And a single bloody tear rolled down Daniel's cheek, the most damning evidence of all. 

Her eyes widened and the box slipped from her fingers, falling to the ground with a loud slam. She took a step back, chest rising and falling rapidly. Her life's work had been killing the things that her son had become, after all.

Daniel seemed to curl in on himself, looking so small in that moment. "Mom?" he repeated, his voice sounding so tiny and frail and helpless, before it became wet and desperate, "I'm sorry, Mom. I should've stopped it somehow, I should've killed myself, but I'm too weak and too scared and I'm sorry --"

Daniel's mother pulled him into a hug and Daniel froze, his breathing stopping momentarily. He slowly hugged her back, burying his face in her hair. The sobs had returned at this stage, loud and harsh and broken, his body shaking with each one. 

They stood in an embrace for a while, and Jisung looked away, feeling as though he was invading on something much too private and personal. It was something between Daniel and his mother and it was none of his business. He was just glad Daniel's mother loved her son so much that she was able to throw away whatever she thought of vampires. 

Daniel's mother stepped back after a while, tears streaming down her face to match her son. She caressed her son's hair, a sad smile on her face. "I love you, no matter what, sweetheart. You are more important to me than my work ever was. What you are doesn't matter. Please don't talk about... about taking your own life. I don't think I could live with myself if you did. It's not your fault." Her face fell. "If anything, it's probably mine or your father's." 

Daniel stared blankly at her, the flood of tears beginning to wane. Jisung shared in his confusion, brows knitting together as he tried to make sense of what she had said. 

"W-what?" Daniel said, taking a small step back, eyes fixed on his mother,"How?" 

His mother had fallen silent now. 

Daniel's eyes were still on her, having stopped breathing once again. He seemed to lapse in and out of it but then again it wasn't really necessary for him. Then again, Daniel wasn't alive anymore, that his heart had stopped and his breathing had been rendered unnecessary. Those thoughts made the hairs on the back of his neck stand on end. Jisung pushed them out of mind as quickly as possible. 

"I think they might've turned you to take revenge against me and your father," she whispered, her eyes not meeting her son's, "We... we were always worried something like this would happen. But we thought that revenge turnings had stopped." 

Daniel looked so lost, so unsure of what to do with that information. His hands were twitching again, but this time Jisung wasn't sure if it was with horror or anger. He was just staring at his mother, eyes so wide they looked like they were about to fall out. He almost looked like he was about to begin crying again.

Jisung couldn't help but think of how angry and violent the vampire bite on Daniel's chest was. He hadn't seen many bites, and none in real life, but the few he'd seen on TV had seemed soft and caring and gentle by comparison. None of them had even resembled Daniel's.

"What?" Daniel said, his voice trembling violently, "They ruined my life... to get back at you? And you knew this would happen?" 

His mother had seemed to realise that maybe her method of delivering the truth had not been the best one. "Sweetheart, your life isn't ruined, we can work with this. I wanted to have a hunter watching you at all times but your father wouldn't relinquish any hunters and he was the leader. He said you could defend yourself and they needed hunters elsewhere." 

Daniel's fists clenched and unclenched, his breaths quick and shallow. "Why didn't you tell me if you knew?" he asked, his voice somewhere between watery and blazing, "Why couldn't you tell me you thought something like this was going to happen?" 

"We didn't want you to worry!" his mother said, her voice rising, still remaining level and calm, but there was fury barely hidden beneath the surface, "We thought you could deal with it, if it arose. We thought you were smarter than to drink something spiked with vampire blood! We thought you'd be able to fight off a vampire, considering all the training that you just disregarded to go off and pursue musical ambitions! We thought we'd trained you well enough, even if your heart wasn't in it, that your body would know how to react!" 

Daniel's eyes flashed crimson and his jaw dropped open. "This is my fault?" He looked lost for words outside of that, taking deep breaths in what seemed like an attempt to calm himself down. He turned away from his mother, still taking big gulps of air, chest heaving, his whole body shaking with what could've been either fury or fear.

His mother fell silent and there was an uneasy quiet between them. She seemed to have realised what she said was out of place, especially considering she'd claimed Daniel was just an instrument for her enemies to exact their revenge through.

Jisung felt stupid for having faith a hunter would understand anything to do with vampires outside of knowing how to kill them, even if their own child was one. Maybe he should've reached out to Minseok. They likely would've been much more help.

"Sweetheart," she whispered, seeming to have finally found the courage to speak again, "I'm not saying it's your fault but maybe if you'd been a little more - " 

Daniel blew up. 

He turned around faster than Jisung's eyes could track, slamming his fist into the wall at breakneck speed, a few inches away from his mother's head. His eyes were flushed that deep crimson and those keen fangs were extended, and the monster back and Daniel was nowhere to be seen. His fist had gone through the wall and he'd forced his mother back so that she was standing with her back against the wall. Her eyes were bulging, her face having gone pale with fear and her chest rising and falling rapidly. Daniel looked like he'd kill her. He certainly seemed like he was up to the task. It would be easy for him after all. She had no weapons. She was aging. He was infinitely faster than her. He could've killed her, his own mother, without much effort.

The moment lasted for a split second.  
Daniel stepped back, fangs retracting and eyes fading back to their usual colour. He looked away, avoiding her eyes. "Please go," he whispered, "I don't think a former hunter is what I need right now. I... I'm sorry. About everything." 

His mother looked like she wanted to protest but she let it be. "I'm sorry too. For not being that person you needed. My hatred of leeches -- sorry, vampires, runs deeper than yours. I'm going to have to change that." 

Daniel just nodded, keeping his distance, eyes fixed on the floor, staying silent.

Daniel's mother smiled, but it seemed half-hearted and weak. It didn't take a genius to make out the disgust hidden beneath smile. "Love you so much, sweetheart," she said, but her voice wobbled as she spoke. Picking up the paper box, she headed towards the door. 

"Love you too, Mom," Daniel replied and his hands were shaking. 

And with that, she turned and left, carrying the paper box like it was made of gold and leaving the room in complete silence. 

Daniel slid down the wall, hiding his face behind his arms. Jisung couldn't do anything but stare for far too long, before slowly walking over to him and sitting down beside him. They sat in silence.

The others began to leave the room, getting back to their jobs and training and whatever else they had to do. 

The quiet felt heavy and alien after everything that had happened. It was like their moments after training, where they'd just sit and talk, like everything was just the same. But neither of them were talking and nothing was the same. 

Jisung spoke first. "You're going to have to get registered," he said, his voice coming quieter than he'd expected. 

"I know," came the soft reply, muffled by the hands covering his face. He paused. "I don't want to. Makes it feel too permanent." 

They both knew that it was permanent, whether on paper or not. Neither mentioned it. They fell back into silence again, the only sounds in the room being their soft inhales and exhales. Jisung didn't know what to say. He wasn't quite sure what one did say in a situation like this. Did he talk about the problem or distract from it? Did he pretend nothing had changed or act like it was all different? Did he even dare to acknowledge it?

Daniel spoke for him. His hands had fallen from his face and he was simply staring into the corridor outside. "She was being honest." He paused again, not elaborating what his mother had been honest about. Jisung turned his head towards him, brows drawing together. "It was my fault. I could've stopped the le-vampire, somehow."

Another long pause. Jisung found the courage to reply after a little bit. "How?" was all he dared to ask. 

Daniel seemed at loss for words at such a simple question. He pulled his knees up to his chin, wrapping his arms around his legs. "I don't know," he admitted, his voice very very quiet and very very small, "But I feel like I could've. Or should've." 

Jisung didn't push. They sat there for a very long time, in silence, try to take comfort in each other's mere presence. Maybe that was all Daniel needed for now. Maybe that was enough.


	4. III

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thanks so much for the 60+ hits! I kind of wasn't expecting many hits at all, since the fandom isn't that big anymore, and Jisung is my POV character and he's not exactly the most popular member. But I'm really enjoying writing it so far, and I'm glad that people are enjoying reading it so far (at least I hope you are).

The first week was hard. Well, the entire month was hard, but that first week was the hardest. 

It was the small things. Things the news wouldn't care to mention, that only vampires would know. But with none of their staff or trainees being vampires, they had to try and work around it without any idea of what they were doing. 

Jisung scoured through every book on vampires he could get his hands on. Jinwoo would help from time to time and sometimes even Daniel would sit down and read through them, before he looked even paler than usual and had to leave. It was like he forgot sometimes, that he wasn't human anymore, and Jisung loathed to remind him. He tried to make sure it was Jinwoo helping him most of the time. 

But they were ultimately just books. They weren't a substitute for experience. And the world still didn't know much about vampires and vampires seemed unwilling to relinquish their knowledge. He thought about calling Minseok a hundred times but he was fairly certain, at this stage, that Xiumin of EXO and the Minseok of his childhood were one and the same and EXO were, to say the least, a very busy group. Plus, he didn't how much SM and the other EXO members knew about Minseok and he didn't want to let something slip. 

He knew no other vampires personally besides that. He wished that he had. Somebody. Anybody. It felt like he was in over his head. He had no idea what to do with a baby vampire at all.

What was worst was how often Daniel seemed to forget, considering how momentous a change it was. He wasn't human anymore. How did something like that slip from your mind? But Daniel did it with surprising ease. 

Most of the moments were small, passing in only a few seconds. An expression of confusion then his face would fall and he'd go very silent. It always seemed to be right before Daniel was getting back to normal, right before he was about to laugh and smile and chat freely, like how he used before it all happened. And then someone would say something and he'd remember. 

Usually. There was one time when the company, for once, loosened up on their diets and let them get chips and pizza. The four of them were scoffing their face - Jisung wasn't afraid to admit it, diets were disgusting and he missed good old greasy food so much - but Daniel was hovering behind them. 

Taking a moment to breathe between shoving pizza slices down his throat, Jisung glanced back. Jinwoo had done the same a few moments prior, seeming to want to offer to Daniel some but froze and stopped, for obvious reasons. Daniel's nose was wrinkled and his lips were twisted into a grimace. 

"That smells like the most disgusting pizza ever," he said, making exaggerated waving gestures in front of his nose, "How are you guys even eating that? Here, let me try some." 

Quicker than the time it took for them to process what had been said, he grabbed one of the chips. And slipped it into his mouth. 

Jisung's stomach dropped. He'd always wondered why vampires weren't allowed to eat normal food but this was not the way he wanted to find out. Daniel opened his mouth to say something else but Jisung beat him to it. 

"Daniel," he said, his voice so quiet he could barely hear himself, "You can't eat that."

The blood, what little of it was left, drained out of Daniel's face and he looked like a ghost. "Oh yeah," he said, his voice barely above a whisper.

Daniel had gone a faint green and his hand had slammed over his mouth faster than Jisung could see. "I-I think I'm going to be sick," he said, his voice still a murmur and he bolted out of the room. 

Jisung looked back at the others, staring up at him. "I'll go make sure he's okay," he said, slipping out the door with his heart in his mouth.

Finding Daniel was the easy part. He was in the nearest bathroom, hunched over a toilet and puking his guts out, shaking so badly Jisung was surprised there wasn't vomit everywhere. 

"Daniel?" Jisung asked, moving slowly closer to him, like he was approaching a flighty puppy. 

"I can't do this" -- he threw up in the toilet again -- "I really, really can't, Jisung. I'm trying, goddammit, I'm really trying but I can't. I keep forgetting that I'm a leech, all the time, I can't even control my stupid fangs" -- a loud sob erupted from him --"or my stupid eyes or anything. They're not gonna let me on Produce 101. They can't."

Jisung put his hand on Daniel's shoulder. The lack of warmth radiating from him still set his teeth on edge but he sure as hell wasn't going to show it. "You've been doing great so far. It'll get easier. I promise. This is the hard part." 

Daniel shook his head. "Don't lie, please, I know I'm so bad at this." Another set of stomach-churning sounds. "Now I'm not just a failure as a hunter, I'm also shit at being a vampire." There was a pause. "All my friends from when I was a hunter are ignoring me. I tried texting and calling and they see the texts, I can fucking see that they see, but they just won't --" A violent sob cut off the end of his sentence. 

"You still have us," Jisung said, but it came out weak.

"I know," Daniel mumbled, "But we were meant to meet up somewhere this week and now they're just acting like I don't exist." 

"Are you gonna meet up with them?" 

Daniel went very quiet. "I can't. They might try to kill me." 

Jisung's blood ran cold. Any words that lingered on the top of his tongue vanished. 

"I tried calling my dad too," Daniel said, his voice getting wobbly and he was lisping, almost like his fangs were out, "I left it ringing for like an hour and he didn't pick up. I just thought... I mean, he's my dad, right? So... I thought..." He vomited into the toilet again. 

Jisung felt like shit. It was partly his fault, he shouldn't have let Daniel go off alone, he should've stayed with him, he was the eldest, he should've known better than to fight with him. So he was going to have to fix his mess somehow. But the words he wanted, he needed, weren't coming. His mind was blank. 

"You still have Produce 101," Jisung said, weakly, "You can still get people to love you. They'll vote for you. I know they will. You'll give them more than enough reason to do it."

He risked a glance into the toilet basin and immediately wished he hadn't. It was mostly blood, frothy, watery, pale blood, with a single chip floating in the centre. He looked away pretty quickly, or else he might throw up too.

Daniel took a long, shuddering breath before vomiting again. "You keep fucking saying that. You keep thinking of me on some sort of pedestal, like I'm the greatest trainee you've ever seen." The skin over his knuckles were stretched thin as he grasped the edges of the toilet and he took another deep breath. "I'm not. I'm just a regular old trainee and now anything I had going for me is gone. Who's gonna want to go a fanmeeting with an idol who might fucking eat them?" 

Jisung pushed on. He had to. He had to say something, make some attempt to make it better. A plaster on a bullet wound was better than nothing at all. If it was all he could provide for now, he'd give it without a second thought. He could do more later. 

"Daniel, you're still the best trainee I've ever seen," he said, kneeling down beside him, rubbing his back, "Being a vampire, if anything, only gives you an advantage. You're faster and stronger than we could ever hope to be. So what if you have to drink blood from time to time? You're still you." 

There was a long pause. It seemed like Daniel had finally stopped throwing up, but he still didn't move from the toilet seat. He didn't even turn to face Jisung. He just sat there, curled over the toilet seat like it was precious to him. 

Then he spoke, in a very, very small, thin voice. "I don't feel like me." 

He turned his head slightly and Jisung saw a flash of red before Daniel returned to facing straight ahead of him. "I look in the mirror and I can barely recognise myself. I look like a corpse. My body moves faster than my mind can keep up with. I feel so wrong and uncomfortable and I hate it." His voice sounded watery and uneven, like he was trying to hide sobs, alongside the lisping. There was a lull before he continued. 

"I tried to tear out my fangs the day after I turned. They just grew back. They didn't even take that long. And now I can't even eat a single chip or I throw up the entirety of my stomach contents. And I have to live like this for hundreds of years. It feels like I'm living a fucking horror movie and my body's the monster. " 

Jisung stayed silent. What did he say to that? What could he say to that? He knew that it was bad. Obviously. But he hadn't expected it to be like literal torture. 

He just continued rubbing Daniel's back, feeling a lot like a failed parent. He felt so useless and pointless all over again. He was tempted to call Minseok right there and then, to beg him to come and help Daniel, in some way, shape or form. Because Jisung was so lost. And so ineffective in this situation. He was doing his best but he was so scared it wasn't enough. 

The shaky breathing had slowed a bit and the vomiting was surely over by now. "I think I'm done," Daniel all but whispered, climbing to his feet shakily. 

Jisung helped him up. It was the bare minimum he could do, considering how little he'd helped. He thought it would be easy. He'd waltz in and just offer some advice and it would all be okay so quickly. But he was just as useless as ever.

Daniel seemed to be trying to avoid letting Jisung see him, which was dumb because he'd already Daniel be as scary as possible, when Daniel wasn't even in control and it was just his body acting. 

Jisung flushed the toilet and turned back to Daniel. The tap was running but his hands were clenched onto the sides of the sink. His eyes were on his reflection in the mirror and Jisung's stomach did a backflip. 

He looked terrifying. Those long fangs were protruding from his mouth and his eyes were a vivid crimson. He looked even paler than usual, white as a ghost. The blood tears stained his cheeks were the same shade of red as his eyes and his mouth was covered in the pale, watery blood he'd been vomiting up. He could still see Daniel underneath the monster, but just barely. It was like his features had been obscured and now there just a terrifying leech, who happened to bare some resemblance to Daniel. Jisung couldn't help flinching. All he could see was the creature from the news.

Daniel's hand raised slowly, shaking like he was about to collapse, and touched his cheek, his fingers meeting one of the tears rolling down his cheek. His face scrunched up and his fist slammed into the mirror. Once. And twice. And a third time. He just seemed to keep punching, even though it had shattered on the first hit. His hands were covered into tiny cuts and blood so dark it seemed black oozed out, before the cuts closed themselves in a flash.

His fangs were slowly sliding away, but he seemed too occupied with the tears to care. He was rubbing them away so viciously it was like he was trying to remove his entire cheek.

Jisung stepped forward, grabbing Daniel by the shoulder. "Stop," he said, "Daniel, that's not going to do shit, please, just stop."

A twisted, broken laugh escaped from Daniel's lips. "I can't even cry normally anymore," he said, turning to Jisung, his expression matching his laugh, "I look like something out of a nightmare." 

Jisung couldn't think of response. Especially when deep down, he agreed with him, though he would've loathed to admit it. He should've burst into a riveting speech, comforting Daniel and making everything a hundred times better. But the words were stuck in his throat and his mind was empty.

Instead he just met those crimson eyes and smiled weakly, his stomach feeling like it was filled with worms. 

"C'mon, let's get you cleaned up and get back to the others," he said, his voice almost as weak as his smile. 

Daniel's face fell but he just nodded, and did as he was told. He almost looked human Daniel again afterwards, but still far too pale and cold. Jisung would take what he could get. 

When they got back to the others, there still two slices left. Jisung had lost his appetite. He was sure he'd throw up whatever he ate. Daniel's disappointed expression lingered in his mind for much too long afterwards. 

But as hard the moments like those were, they paled in comparison to getting Daniel registered. It seemed simple in theory. The company had handled most of the paperwork to do with registering a newly-turned vampire but they had to go finalise it. Just show up and give some proof of identity and then they could leave. It would take five seconds.

Jisung offered to go along. He wasn't sure if Daniel accepted out of fear or trust. Something him told it was the former. 

Daniel seemed fine with it all, unnervingly so, until they stepped inside the Vampire Affairs building. Then abruptly, he froze. Jisung didn't even notice for few moments, until he looked back and he saw Daniel still standing next to the doors, his eyes wide and unmoving.

Jisung took several steps back. "Are you okay?" he whispered, reaching out to touch him lightly on the arm. 

"There's vampires everywhere. What if they recognise me?" Daniel's voice was low and shaky and staring straight ahead of him, staring at the people as the desks as though they were about to tear him apart. "What if they try and kill me? I can't do this, Jisung, fuck, I can't, let's just go back, please, please -- " 

"No," Jisung said firmly, stepping in front of Daniel,"It'll take five minutes, then we'll be out of here and you'll never have to think about it again. Ever. Over and done with. Pushing it off is just going to make it worse." 

Daniel nodded slowly and began to move forward, eyes darting around the room, looking almost like he was about to throw up. 

Jisung wouldn't admit it but that comment about vampires being everywhere made the hair on the back of his neck stand on edge. All that was flashing through his mind was that creature and the endless news reports of vampires killing people and drinking their blood. He did his best to conceal his shudder and kept walking. 

They only waited in line for a few minutes before a desk was freed up. Neither of them talked during that time and Jisung really, really wished he'd made some attempt. Considering the chatter surrounding them, it felt like they were in a void, with no sound at all. It made him more uncomfortable than he thought it would. 

The vampire (because Jisung fairly certain that was what she was) seated behind the desk was breathtaking. Which made Jisung feel even more on edge. Her short dark hair framed her face beautifully, her pale skin seeming to glow even under the harsh lights. She looked up from her computer screen at them, smiling at them with a deep red lipstick smile and big sparkling brown eyes. "How may I help you?" 

Daniel spoke first, which took Jisung off guard. He hadn't expected him to say anything for the entire thing. "Um. My company sent in the forms. For. Y'know. Registration. We're - we're just finishing it off." He kept stumbling over his words and his voice shook almost the entire time.

The vampire's gaze softened and her smile grew more genuine. "It's hard the few weeks, but don't worry about it. You'll get used to it in no time." 

Daniel did not look assured by that in the slightest, but he plastered on a bright smile and Jisung felt kind of proud of him for it. 

"Name?" she asked, looking back to her computer screen. 

"Uh, Kang Daniel." Daniel's voice was shaking so badly Jisung could barely make out what he was saying. 

The vampire paused for a moment, glancing up at Daniel with a strange expression. Jisung heard Daniel's breathing stop from beside him. She didn't say anything though and simply turned back to her computer. Her hands flew across the keyboard, so quick that Jisung's eyes couldn't track them. 

"There you are," she said, the bright smile returning, "I just have to look through the information on this and make sure it all checks out. Then you just have to sign a few forms and you're off! Never have to think about it again." 

Daniel just nodded, his breathing still shallow, and Jisung reached out and patted him softly on the back. He was doing a shit job of reassuring him, but he could only pray the small gestures were helping somehow. 

"They've left the bit with your sire blank? Was that intentional?" She turned to them, her eyebrows furrowing. 

Daniel didn't say anything. He just nodded. 

Before either of them had a chance to reply, someone slammed into Jisung's back. He snapped his head around, not really in the mood for this right now, ready to give out to whoever had done it, vampire or no. Then he say who it was and his mouth went dry. 

It was the small girl from the restaurant. The one Daniel had been a dick to. 

"Sorry," she said, bowing deeply, "I lost my balance and should've been more careful..." 

Her eyes were locked on Daniel, who had turned around as well.

"Oh my god," she said, staring at him with bulging eyes,"You're the one that called me a leech." 

Daniel's chest was still. He opened and closed his mouth repeatedly before it twisted into a scowl. "I wasn't wrong, was I? You being here only proves you're a leech." 

Jisung almost opened his mouth to remind Daniel that he too was a vampire and was standing in room full of vampires, but Daniel looked like he wasn't in the mood to listen to reason at that moment.

Her lips formed a tight line and her eyes turned into slits and she opened her mouth, looking ready to tear him to shred when she stopped. "Wait. I can't hear your heartbeat. And you don't smell like a human... oh my god." The edges of her lips lifted upwards into a massive grin. "Someone got you. You're just as much of a leech as I am." 

Daniel looked like he'd been struck. 

"Wait, did I hear your name was Kang Daniel? And was that satoori I heard?" 

Silence was his reply, his hands shaking so badly it seemed like they were about to fall off. 

Her hand lifted to cover her mouth. "Oh my fucking god. You're the Kang heir. Someone got you. Someone got the fucking Kang heir. I thought your parents would've guarded you so heavily that you'd be untouchable, considering you're their only son and heir to one of the oldest, ugliest and bloodiest hunter dynasties there is but oh my fucking god, you were just walking around Itaewon on your own. And now here you are. As much of a leech as the ones you killed." A laugh slipped from her lips. 

All the activity around them went silent. Jisung couldn't hear anyone's breathing but his own. It felt like a graveyard. A pin dropping would've sounded like a bang. 

Daniel's face had gone shock white. His hands were clenching and unclenching and he met Jisung's eyes for a second, almost as if to say I told you so, I knew this would happen and you assured me it would all be alright. 

But Jisung just clenched his jaw and met Daniel's gaze. He'd called her a leech, again, what the hell had he expected to happen? That she'd just laugh it off and they'd make it up and it would all be forgotten? He'd made his bed, now he had to sleep in it.

The silence weighed a thousand tons but it took so little to break it. Someone was moving towards them, the soft footsteps sounding like a stampede of elephants through that thousand ton silence. 

He saw a pale hand snake around Daniel's arm. Daniel visibly tensed up, looking so small and so afraid and so alone in that moment. A man stepped around to face Daniel, his hand now moving towards his face. Daniel flinched away but it didn't matter. The man stroked his cheek, his eyes filled with something akin to reverence.

"Your great-grandfather killed my sire," the man said, his voice hushed and breathy, eyes bulging, "I feel like I finally have my revenge. Finally have my justice." A grin split his face from ear to ear. "I've never seen anything so beautiful in my entire life. Has your father seen this? It's beautiful. It's so beautiful. I wish I could be there to see him realise his son, his only child, is one of us. One of the creatures he loathes so much." 

Jisung saw a woman approach from the corner of his eye, swooping around the other side of Daniel. Her eyes were alight and her smile filled with the same idolisation as the others. She grabbed Daniel by the chin and pulled him down to her height. Jisung could see his eyes watering and bottom lip trembling. He was shaking so badly she had to hold him still. 

Delight was pouring off the vampire in waves as she forced his mouth open and reached inside. She pressed down his gums with an expert hands and those long, keen fangs slid out. She stepped back and clapped her hands together in an almost childlike glee. 

Daniel didn't attempt to straighten up, his shoulders hunching over almost as though that could protect him from the public humiliation. Jisung was almost glad that he couldn't see his expression. The anger was getting harder to hold on to.

"They're gorgeous," the woman exclaimed, her eyes glued to the fangs, "They're so long and elegant. Hunters always seem to get the most beautiful fangs. And the most dangerous looking ones. What do your eyes look like, dear? Oh, do show us those. You make such a beautiful vampire, I really wish I knew who your sire was." 

"Please," he said, his voice shaking, "I just want to get this over with. I'll be gone in a few minutes. It -- It's hard enough already." 

The woman looked ready to reply, excitement still shining as bright as ever in her eyes but the small girl from the restaurant spoke up from behind them. 

"Maybe you should've thought of that before you called me a leech," she said, her eyes narrowed to flashing red slits, "I'm sure the hunters don't want you back, so maybe try getting on our good sides instead." 

Daniel turned to her, his lip curled upwards in a snarl but it only lasted a few seconds before he deflated. He didn't bother with a reply and just turned back to the vampire seated the desk. The woman had backed off at this stage, thankfully. She made Jisung's skin crawl. 

"Could you please sign here?" the lady at the desk all but whispered, some strange mix of emotions in her eyes.

A silent nod came as a reply. His face kept scrunching up, as though he was holding back tears. He signed the rest of the registration papers at unnerving speed, but even then Jisung could see his hands trembling. 

The desk vampire opened her mouth, that concerned smile having returned, after Daniel had finished. Not even the first syllable had slipped out and Daniel had turned and left. But he was too slow to miss the small vampire's yell after him. 

"Learn some fucking manners, hunter boy! Or should I say leech boy now?" 

Daniel sped up. Racing to catch up with him was not easy, but Jisung managed.

He caught up with him outside. Daniel was blazing, fists clenched and all but stomping out of the building. 

"I hate them all," he spat, "I hate every fucking one. They're all leeches and scumbags and I hate the --"

"You kind of deserved it," Jisung said, his voice soft, "They went overboard but you kind of deserved it." 

Daniel turned to him with wide eyes. "What?" 

"You called her a leech to her face. Twice." 

"So what, I deserve to be thrown out be everyone I know and get ridiculed and ooed and aahed over by a bunch of --" 

Jisung cut him off, that anger rising in his chest again. "Daniel, shut up and listen for a fucking second. I think what happened to you was awful. It was shitty and the person that did it to you deserves to die a horrible, ugly death, but that doesn't mean you can go around and act like a dick in return." 

There was a suffocating silence before Daniel replied. "I know, I know, it's just... I saw her and all I could think was that it was her fault somehow because she caused the argument and then you left and I went off and then it...." 

Another long pause. Jisung couldn't find the power to break it, so he let it be, at least until Daniel spoke. 

Daniel took a deep breath. "They didn't go overboard." 

"Uh, you looked like you were about to cry, Daniel," Jisung said, raising his eyebrows and squinting at him. 

"Do you know what my dad did with vampires?" Daniel said, avoiding his gaze, "He used to starve them for weeks, until they were so crazy for blood that they lunge at anything with a beating heart. Then he'd use them to prove that we were fighting the good fight, that these monsters because they couldn't control themselves and were just waiting to snap. The news ate it up. Then, when all the news and tabloids were gone, he'd finally feed them again. So they could be conscious and aware when he tortured them. He didn't want information. I think he just like watching them squirm. Humanity's greatest predator no more. He could work on one vampire for months before he killed it. They always begged me to kill them. And when I heard their screams, like the pleading of wounded hound, every night, I'd wish I had." 

Jisung had no response. All he could do was stare into the distance and let his thoughts run amok, his stomach feeling like it was filled with lead. 

"I just wish they'd taken it out on him, instead of me," Daniel said, but hesitated, "But I mean, I guess I'm partly responsible, right? I didn't stop it. I even took part in it once. I spent the rest of the day puking but I still did it." 

"Why do you hate them then?" Jisung said, his voice low,"If you saw that they were in at least some way human, even if it was just through pain?" 

Daniel looked lost for words. "I don't know. Maybe it was just easier to cope with it. It's easy to watch someone broken and cut and wounded a hundred times over if they're the big evil, right? If we're the good guys and we're just using the ends to justify the means?" 

Jisung could provide no answers. 

"I kind of just want to focus on Produce instead," Daniel mumbled, "It's less complicated. All I have to do is win, right?" His face fell. "I mean, it used to be. I don't if I'll be able to win it now." 

Jisung snapped his head to Daniel, hands clenching into fists. "You're going to win it." 

Daniel looked up, startled. "Hyung, I don't know if I'll be able --" 

"You're able. You're more than able. You can win it, easy. I don't care about the vampire thing. Just use to your advantage, somehow. You're faster and stronger than all of us, you're be a better dancer than any of us ever will be. You're gonna win because you're still you and you're one of the most amazing people on the planet and people will still fucking see that, vampire or no. You can still win. You're our company's ace. You're going to make your dad feel sorry for abandoning you, you're going to make your mom proud, prove that you're not just a hunter, and you're going to win." 

Even leaving his own lips, it sounded like a fantasy. He doubted winning would bring all of that. Even to him, when debuting seemed like the solution to all his problems, some of those issues seemed impossible to fix, whether or not Daniel won. Maybe they could find the other solutions along the way.

Daniel was staring at him, with massive eyes. "Why do you care so much?" 

Jisung just smiled and punched him on the shoulder. "You need something to cheer you up, right?" 

Daniel eyed him but just smiled that half-hearted smile that seemed to have grown so familiar within the span of a few weeks. "I guess so." 

Maybe before all this, it had been because he felt Daniel deserved it. Because he needed the world to see how brilliant that boy was. It would've been nice but not necessary. But now? Now, he couldn't let Daniel do anything less than win. It was to prove to everyone, especially to Daniel (and maybe even to himself), that being a vampire didn't change a thing. It was to prove to his grandfather (and secretly to himself) that maybe not every vampire was evil and twisted and hated. It was so that he could taste the sweetness of victory, of proving everyone wrong, of revenge, on his tongue, to show Daniel's parents and every single vampire in there that they had no idea what they had just missed out on. That Daniel was so valuable and worth so much and they'd all been too blind to see it. 

Daniel attacked their Produce 101 rehearsals with more ferocity than anyone else, more than before he'd turned, a feat Jisung hadn't thought was possible. It was beautiful and breathtaking and terrifying. 

Somehow, Daniel managed to find the silver lining. He could practice a dozen more times than anyone else without getting tired. His jumps were higher and his moves were sharper and faster. If his b-boying had been good before, it was nothing compared it now. He could hold impossible positions for ages, could spin faster and for longer than anyone else Jisung had ever seen, and moved so quick sometimes that it was difficult to make out where his limbs were.

The only disadvantage of the increased intensity in training was that it meant Daniel needed to drink more blood. And Jisung had no idea how expensive that shit was until they had to buy it on the regular. It was at least 100,000 won for 600ml in basically every blood bank. Which was worse than it sounded, considering Daniel only usually needed like one a week. His newfound determination had trebled that. Which was not cheap. The company only wanted to pay for one a week because they said it was all that was necessary and the other two had to come out Daniel's pocket. Which was hard when none of them were making much money. 

Daniel was also so self-conscious about drinking blood. He'd literally leave the room to drink it. Granted, Jisung was a little glad for it, because all he could ever think of when Daniel picked up another blood bag were the two he'd demolished when he'd just turned and a shudder went down his spine. 

But maybe Daniel was practicing for Produce. The company had managed to work something out, somehow, with Mnet in relation to his newly-acquired vampirism. He had no idea how they'd managed it but somehow they'd convinced Mnet to keep the whole thing under wraps for as long as possible. Considering how obvious some of the symptoms of vampirism were, Jisung didn't think it would last very long. He didn't say so to Daniel. 

The first week was hell, but Jisung thought the weeks that followed were a little easier. Especially since Daniel was slowly but surely returning to himself and not just the sad, angry shadow that he'd been left in his absence. He thought they really had a chance. They might actually be able to do this. Daniel might actually win. 

Well, until Daniel made the dumbest decision of his life (in Jisung's opinion. Daniel thought it was a great idea, because of course he did). 

He walked into training about a week before Produce 101. Everything was going as normal. Until he turned to look at the other trainees. His jaw dropped. 

Daniel was flushed light pink - which would've been bright red if he wasn't a vampire - and rubbing the back of his head. "Um, hi, hyung," he said, his smile all but screaming awkwardness. 

"What the fuck is that?" 

Because Daniel's hair was no longer black. It was a pastel, candy floss pink. Maybe Jimin from BTS could pull that colour off, but Daniel could not. Especially not when he could literally see blonde peaking through already. Jisung hated it. He hated it with such vehement passion that it made him want to puke. 

Daniel pouted. "I just wanted to see if vampires could dye their hair," he said, his cheeks still tinged pink, almost the same shade as his hair.

"So you went with pink?!" Jisung almost screamed, dragging his hands down his face.

"I mean, it'll make me stand out?" Daniel smiled sheepishly, so broad that those bunny teeth were on full display, looking so adorable Jisung wanted to punch him. 

"Not in a good way!" He was still trying to figure what the hell Daniel had been thinking. He had no idea. He had no idea why anyone would want to do something like this. "It looks like a bird made of candyfloss took a shit on your head and someone rubbed it in. Badly."

Daniel winced. "I like it. It'll grow on you." 

"God, I hope it doesn't. I don't want pink hair growing out of my head too. I look ugly enough as it is." The dad jokes strike again. Yeah, it was a poor joke, especially by his high standards, but he saw Daniel almost laugh. So clearly he was funnier than he gave himself credit for. 

"But seriously, I thought vampires couldn't dye their hair," he continued, eyeing the pink hair with contempt. He'd read something, somewhere about vampires being unable to change the form they were in when they'd turned. So no cutting hair, no cutting nails, no new pimples, no getting rid of the old one and no dying hair. They were almost like time capsule, forever stuck in their original form. 

Daniel shrugged. "They've figured out how to do it somehow. Um, my body will still destroy the dye, but in a matter of weeks rather than minutes. Probably added like silver or something." 

Jisung just nodded slowly, still staring at that godawful hair. He couldn't believe he was going to live with it for weeks. He just wished they hadn't figured out how to make more permanent dyes. Why didn't the stylists say anything? Why didn't she go like,'Hey, what the fuck?' or something or make Daniel stop somehow. He let out a long-suffering sigh. 

"Hey, it's not that bad," Daniel said indignantly, folding his arms. 

Jisung glanced at Daniel and then back at the hair. "Sure," he said, trying to put as much sarcasm into his voice as possible, before letting out another pained sigh and shaking his head, "It'll grow on me." 

Daniel's face lit up and he smiled with the brightness of a thousand suns. Like he had before the turning. Jisung couldn't help but smile back, his heart swelling tenfold. He knew it was dumb but he almost cried. He hadn't seen that smile in so long. 

"Come on," Jisung said, trying to force those thoughts away, to keep his voice stable, "Let's just focus on training for the moment. We have a nation to please. We can't afford to let them down, candyfloss bird shit hair or no."


	5. IV

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Sorry this one is kind of late. It took ages to write and I'm not wholly satisfied with it. I know it goes over a lot of details we already know but I did my best to keep that to minimum. We finally got to Produce 101 though! Thanks so much for the 110 hits and 5 kudos, it means a lot :)

Produce 101 Season 2 came fast. Before he knew it, the interviews were done, the introductions over and they were standing outside that room, waiting in the white hallway.

His nerves were so frazzled he couldn't even make a joke. The others kept looking at him, as though they expected to say something funny or comforting, before they went, but the words were lost in his throat. His eyes just kept flitting up to the camera and his heart hammered so loudly in his chest that he was afraid the trainees outside could hear it. He'd put on his nametag with his fingers shaking so badly he was surprised it stuck on.

He hated it. The fear, as bad as it was, he could deal with, but he didn't want to be afraid in front of the others. He was the eldest. He was meant to be the strongest. They were meant to bring their problems to him, he wasn't supposed to burden them with his own. He wasn't meant to be shaking so badly that he could barely stand. He did his best to hide it behind a smile, but it was a weak one.

He would've hated to be out first now, where he thought he would throw up. On camera. But going on first meant more screentime. More screentime meant more fans. And more fans meant higher rankings. And he really, really needed that. They all needed it.

A quick glance at the others showed him they were no less terrified than he was. Having gone a sickly shade of green, Jinwoo looked like he was about to vomit. Jaehan's eyes were bulging and his smile looked plastered on. Taewoong was leaning on his knees, breathing heavily. Daniel was standing rimrod straight, his face the same colour as the hallway.

He opened his mouth to say something, anything comforting but the door was opening. None of them said anything for a few moments.

Daniel cleared his throat. "I guess that's our cue," he said. His voice was surprisingly stable considering the sheer terror on his face.

Jisung took a deep breath and followed Daniel out with as much confidence as he could muster. Hiding his terror was a necessity. He needed to impress them, not have them sympathise with him. Sympathy would only get him so far. Sympathy wouldn't get him into the final eleven.

He stepped out in the room and his heart stopped. His eyes were immediately drawn to the throne at the top. The number 1 chair, empty and available, stared down at him, as though judging every single action he'd ever taken. It felt like the inanimate object had presence, like it had power, like it demanded those who were not worthy to stare upon it and tremble.

Jisung was trembling. He tore his eyes away from it, instead looking to the other MMO trainees. They all looked a good deal calmer, but he couldn't tell if it was genuine. Daniel's eyes were fixed on the chair.

The urge to tell him to go for it, to tell him he was good enough, to tell him not to dream and to act, suddenly rose in his chest. But it never left his lips and the moment passed.

They walked up the steps slowly. Jisung could feel the gazes of the other trainees on his back. He tried not to stare back, especially at the ones that giggled or talked among themselves, praying he wasn't the one they were chattering about.

The other trainees scared him, if he was honest. They all had the same burning determination and longing in their eyes. He met the eyes of one of the young pretty ones, the type that were so beautiful that for a moment, when the light hit their face at the right angle, your breath caught in your throat (his nametag said 'Park Jihoon') and he almost believed the kid would kill for one of the positions in the final eleven. It didn't seem like he was the most determined anymore. Or the one who thought they needed it the most.

Daniel was attracting more stares than he'd expected. Pretty Kid stared at him for longer than made Jisung comfortable, as did the guy sitting at the 2nd chair. He'd seen most of the trainees look at Daniel at least twice. Some even did a double take.

His heart sped up every time it happened. It was almost like they knew. They knew Daniel was hiding something, they knew Daniel wasn't one of them, they knew he was a vampire. He kept thought one of them would say something. Maybe they'd out Daniel as a vampire before he'd even have a chance to show how brilliant he was to anyone.

No one said anything. Jisung followed the others into his seat.

His eyes darted up to the cameras. That was when when it hit him. He was on camera. He was playing to an audience. It wouldn't matter how talented he was. His fate, his future, his only chance was in their hands. He had to stand out, now before it was too late. He slapped the biggest smile on his face, right before the screen changed.

To show their predictions. Well, there went his image. He hadn't thought ten would've been that boastful. But out of the trainees surrounding him and the ones to come? Suddenly it seemed very, very ambitious.

He only really knew one way to salvage this. He opened his mouth and just let the word vomit spill out, hoping some of it was funny. He was so on edge that he couldn't even hear what he was saying. He couldn't even think. All he could do was talk. But goddammit, he'd been born with a big ass mouth he was going to use to his advantage for once.

"What seats did you even choose, Daniel?" he whisper-yelled, trying to smile as wide as possible.

Daniel looked over at him with wide eyes. "Um, I just sat down wherever?"

"Does it matter? As long we don't sit in like number one, no one's gonna care," Jinwoo said, looking between them.

Jisung pouted. "Fine, then, Daniel, I dare you to go up to number one."

"What? Why me?"

"Because you're the closest to the stairs, dumbass."

Daniel opened his mouth and closed it again, folding his arms. "Fine, but Taewoong's coming with me."

Taewoong's head snapped up. "Huh, what? Why me?"

"Because."

"Why do you get a reason, but I don't?"

Jinwoo stepped in. "How about we all go up?"

"That sounds stupid," Jaehan said.

"No, no, no, I like this plan," Taewoong said, grinning like a shark, "That way we all look bad."

"I'm glad you have our best interests at heart, Taewoong," Jaehan snapped, "I don't want to look bad."

"Better to look bad than to be invisible," Jisung said, imparting his wise words of elderly wisdom onto the younger trainees.

Daniel looked at him with the most incredulous and disbelieving expression Jisung had ever seen.

Jaehan actually looked like he was considering it.

"Yeah, okay, let's do it but be fast," he said after a while, his eyes fixed on the camera.

"If we're slower, we'll have more time on camera," Jisung said, wiggling his eyebrows.

Jaehan glared at him. Jisung took it as his cue to shut up.

And so they pushed each other up to the top seat, with a combination sniggering and glaring. The other trainees weren't being subtle about their stares. That feeling of tightness in his chest returned. Had Daniel slipped up? Denying his vampirism would be so much harder if someone (or worse, a camera) caught crimson eyes or fangs.

But those thoughts were pushed away by Jaehan yelling out to him. He'd never been happier to let them go.

"Hyung, this was your idea, you're not allowed to bail on us!"

The grin on his face felt a lot less strained. "I'm aging, Jaehan, let the old man ascend the steps slowly. All you young 'uns don't know what it's like to be old."

He thought Daniel's smile falter, but if it did, it was too fast for him too catch.

"Wait, who's gonna sit on it?" Daniel said instead, eyes on the throne.

"Me, obviously, you fools," Jisung said, pushing them aside and plopping himself down on it, "It's gonna be the only time I get to do it, so I wanna enjoy it."

"Hey, push over, I wanna get a chance," Daniel said, his smile growing.

"Hey, this only has space for one, especially not for someone with a butt as massive as yours."

Daniel shoved him aside anyway, with that freaky vampire strength of his, and sat down next to him.

"See, plenty of space!"

"I'm being crushed."

Daniel rolled his eyes.

The void of warmth that Daniel seemed to carry with him was overpowering in that moment. He tried not to think about it, but it was impossible when Daniel's (freezing) body was pushed up against him.

"Hey, I wanna sit down," Taewoong said, and promptly sat down on their laps.

"How much do you weigh?" Jisung said, letting out an exaggerated groan.

"Like 5 kilos more than you, shut up. Plus there's two of you."

"Do we get a turn?" Jinwoo asked, staring at the seat with hopeful eyes.

"Don't you dare sit down on us too," Daniel said, "Taewoong's enough."

"I'm older than you!" Jinwoo said, indignant, "You can't speak to me like that!"

"Guys we should probably head back down, the next trainee's gonna come out soon," Jaehan interjected.

"Taewoong, get off us," Jisung said, pushing the taller trainee off him, who seemed reluctant to leave.

What followed was a scramble to the seats as the next logo showed -- Brand New Music -- and the five of them managed to make it just in time as the new group of trainees stepped out of the room.

But as Jisung sat back down, that ever-present worry began to creep back into his mind, only momentarily halted. The stream of trainees entering didn't help.

Each one that came through the doors set him more on edge. Each one was more good-looking than the last. Competing against them seemed hopeless. They didn't need humour or talent, not when they were so beautiful that they made the world stare. Could his humour and his voice really get him through this? Right when he thought he'd managed to find his grip, the universe had delivered him another blow knock him down and remind him of his place.

10th place seemed like so far out of his reach he couldn't even see it.

But out of all the dozens of beautiful and dinstinctive trainees, no one quite stood out like NU'EST.

The rumours had seemed fake at first. What could force a group with one of the most successful debuts and a solid five year career to return to being trainees to compete on a survival show?

But there they were, standing in front of them, like gods who'd come down to earth. His jaw hung wide open, like literally every other trainee, trying to process the fact that kpop veterans had graced them with their presence -- and little bit angry that already debuted idols were competing alongside unknown trainees. It wasn't fair on the rest of them. NU'EST already had a fanbase. Hell, he loved them. Even seeing them in real life, seeing that they were real and tangible, made him feel more than a little starstruck. They didn't have to appeal to the Nation's Producers because they already knew them. They were already five steps ahead of everyone else.

To add to that, every glance at Daniel, as innocent as most of them were, made him feel sick. He knew he was overthinking all of it but it didn't stop him. He kept thinking someone, surely at least one, would take a second glance at Daniel and somehow figure it out. But if anyone knew, they didn't say anything.

He couldn't tell if any of the trainees were vampires. Maybe Daniel could tell, but he couldn't ask him. And he wasn't sure if Daniel would tell him. He hoped Daniel wasn't the only one. He couldn't be the only one. They were in Seoul. There were tons of vampires in Seoul. Not as much as Daegu, but tons. Surely one company had taken in a trainee who was a vampire. At least one.

But what Daniel had said replayed in his mind like a broken record. No one wants to go to a fan meeting with an idol who might eat them. It seemed pretty clear kpop companies shared that opinion. When vampires were in the news every other day with stories of draining people dry, it would be pretty difficult to market a vampire trainee. He still prayed that at least one other vampire would appear, just one, but no one seemed to be coming.

BoA walked out after everyone had taken their seats. She was much, much prettier than she seemed on a screen. It was like seeing her in real life enhanced her beauty, solidified it, and made it so much more overwhelming. Her brilliant smile and twinkling eyes eased his nerves a little bit, even as she talked about the endless trials that were ahead. Maybe he could do this. Maybe the audience could find something endearing about him. He had a chance now and he wasn't going to blow it. God knew it was his last one.

Well, she comforted him until the last few lines of her speech. BoA's smile faltered for a moment, as she glanced at the cue cards but it was barely second. If he'd blinked he would've missed it. She ploughed ahead.

"And, although this is our second season, this is our first with vampires as contestants," she said, saying as smoothly as everything prior, the smile on her face suddenly unnerving, "However, both companies have not allowed us to disclose their identities, so it is up to you, the viewers, to find out."

The atmosphere changed in seconds. Where there had been peaceful silence, apprehension and electric excitement, now there was fear and curiosity and eyes darting from side to side. Everyone around them was whispering, eyes darting to and fro, as though they'd be able to find the vampire just through looking.

A second vampire. So it wasn't just Daniel. His eyes jumped between trainees, his stomach doing backflips, and even as they were trying to do their best to hide Daniel's identity, he couldn't help wondering who the other vampire was. There was only another ninety-six trainees to choose from, eliminating himself and the other MMO trainees. Ninety-six trainees who might be a vampire.

But even as he wondered who the other vampire was, fear gripped his heart. Why had Mnet put that in? What did they gain from it? He thought they'd made an agreement with MMO to make sure something like this wouldn't happen (but, his mind supplied, they hadn't technically broken the agreement). Now every trainee would be on the lookout for vampires. Daniel's job, which already had been so hard, seemed impossible. How the hell were they going to get away with hiding Daniel's identity like this?

He risked a glance at the 100 trainees around him. NU'EST hadn't reacted in the slightest. Not even one member. They were chatting between themselves, with rare glances at the other trainees.

The Brand New Music trainees were whispering to each other at rapid pace. The cute one, with the blonde hair and blue and black striped top (his name had been something like Daeho or Daehwan) looked scared to death. The blood had leeched out of his face, his eyes were bulging and his bottom lip was trembling. He kept glancing behind him, as though it would give the boy a hint as to who the terrifying leeches were.

The pretty Maroo trainee was the most unnerving. He stared at everyone calmly, shifting his gaze every so often to study someone else. Jisung met his eyes for a few moments and they surprised him. He couldn't find any fear hidden away in them. In its place, there was some sort of twisted, confusing emotion that Jisung couldn't quite place. He looked away quickly.

He didn't even dare look at Daniel. He'd prefer to leave that image to his imagination than confront the reality.

BoA was hard to read. She still had her bright smile on, but her hand gripped the microphone so tightly, her knuckles were white. But she didn't tremble or shake. She didn't even search through the trainees. "Now it's time to to greet your Nation's Producers," she continued, her voice as smooth as ever, as though she hadn't dropped such a huge bombshell on them.

The trainees settled down surprisingly quickly, but Jisung could still spot the stray glances thrown people's way. They bowed and BoA introduced the trainees.

If Jisung had been comforted by BoA's presence, it was the opposite for the trainers. The urge to vomit returned and his knees felt like they were made of jelly. He knew they were there to help but all he could think about was the ranking coming next. He wasn't ready for it. Especially when Mnet had thrown them such a big curveball. What if he did vomit? What if he forgot his lines, or the choreography? What if he ended up in F? Being funny and likeable didn't mean shit on a survival show if he had no talent. And he wasn't sure if he was ready for his self-esteem to be destroyed like that.

The Yuehua trainees who'd volunteered were insane. He wouldn't have been able to go first. And judging by the lack of response by the other trainees, they agreed with him.

But the thought of more screen time ate away at his mind. The viewers were probably going to be curious about the (adorable-looking) trainees who went first. Yuehua sniffed out their chance before anyone else had processed what might happen if they went first. Fuck. That was another missed opportunity. He wasn't going to let the next one go. He couldn't.

They set up for the judging surprisingly quickly. Granted, there wasn't much to do but Jisung still assumed it would take longer. So he got no chance to talk to Daniel. A glance over at the boy made it fairly clearly he mostly didn't want to talk. He stayed out of the conversation out of the two beside him, still searching the trainees' faces for any indicator of vampirism. Despite the fact he should've known better than anyone how hard it was to pick out vampires.

The Yuehua trainees stepped out, looking for the most part, extremely confident. One of them looked like he was about to get sick but even he covered it up with a smile, as though he was actually all right. They looked cute. And young. He shifted in his seat, feeling sick to his stomach.

They even introduced themselves brightly. He could only see the backs of the judges' heads and that made it a hundred times worse. He couldn't tell how much they liked the kids. They were too cute and pretty and bright to dislike after all.

His eyes moved towards the other MMO trainees and couldn't help but wonder if they felt the same. Daniel was the youngest and he wasn't particularly young. Granted, he wasn't going to age anymore, which was a huge advantage, but still. Most idols had already debuted by their age. And here they were. Stuck as trainees. Hadn't Taemin debuted at fourteen? Jungkook at fifteen? Most of the NU'EST members had debuted at 16. BoA herself had debuted at thirteen. The only one of them who had time was Daniel and he had eternity. Jisung barely had a year or two. It was almost already too late for him.

The Yuehua trainees began their audition and Jisung's heart sunk. They weren't just cute. They were talented too. He had no idea how he was going to do this. How was he supposed to get the viewers to like him when there were people like these kids here? Any confidence he'd gained over the past few years was being crushed and he hadn't even received his rank yet.

When their audition ended, BoA said something about enjoying their performance and turned to discuss with the other judges. Jisung's heart hammered in his ears the entire time. He could feel Daniel gaze on him but he didn't dare meet it. The silence that had settled over the room was deafening. Everyone was leaning forward, ready to hear what marks the first trainees had gotten.

They had to get a B at the least. Jisung didn't know what he'd do if they didn't. He wouldn't stand a chance otherwise. He'd be put in F for sure and he couldn't be 'that funny one who was actually shit, y'know, the one in F'. He had to have basis to his humour. Otherwise, sure, he'd survive the first couple of eliminations but he'd never make it into the final eleven. He wasn't going to make it in on humour alone. This wasn't a stand-up competition. If he couldn't prove he was worthy of being an idol, he could say goodbye to his hopes of a career in kpop.

Finally the judges seemed to have come to some sort of decision. BoA took the mic again. She spoke a little, most of which flew over his head, but he was jerked back into reality when she said,"A."

There was a long pause. Jisung held his breath, his heart sounding like a sledgehammer against a concrete wall at this stage. He could feel Daniel's gaze on him again, but it was shorter than the prior glance. He didn't acknowledge that one either.

"There is none."

His jaw went slack. He'd thought there'd be at least one, maybe the kid in the dungarees or the one with the blue shirt or any of them. How the hell was he supposed to get anything higher than a C if they weren't A material? He was fucked. He was truly fucked. He just had to hope one of them got B. B was the bottom limit. He was still hanging onto hope with a desperation only a madman could match.

"B."

Another long pause. His heart still beat at a mile a minute. Tense silence.

"There is none."

Jisung put his hand over his mouth, his mouth open so wide it hurt, his eyes watering with how much they were bulging out of his head. He looked like a cartoon character, for sure. He had no hope. He couldn't hope to be anywhere near C level. And they had looks on their side. It seemed ambitious now to even look at C. He didn't belong in the 25th seat. He belonged at the bottom. He couldn't do shit. What was he supposed to do? He wished he'd practiced more. He wished he'd been like Daniel, giving every session his all. He'd tried. He'd tried to be determined. But he still felt so incompetent at the very thing he'd been perfecting for longer than most of the trainees here.

The rest of the kids were sorted into C and D level. Expecting any more than the bare minimum seemed delusional now. He'd all but given up and he'd barely begun. What was the point of appealing to the public if he was talentless?

It seemed like a stream of Fs and Ds afterwards. Jisung's heart had soared when he heard one of the trainees was older than him and was brought abruptly back down to the ground when he got an F. And the man was much better looking than he was. Trainee after trainee got berated and lectured and BoA's tone got harder and more frustrated with every F she gave. He didn't stand a chance.

They were one of the earlier groups to be called up.

Backstage was the most stressful place he'd ever had the displeasure to be in. It didn't help the maknae trainee -- Jisung was probably twice the boy's age -- was hanging around. He looked terrified, which did not help soothe Jisung's nerves  
in the slightest. Neither did his repeated glances over at Daniel.

Those thoughts that someone knew that Daniel was one of the vampires resurfaced. The kid obviously didn't -- his eyes were filled with a kind of longing, like he wanted to talk to someone -- but the thought had taken a iron hold on his mind and all he could see was someone who might let slip Daniel wasn't human.

Even then, he felt kind of bad for him. If it was hard for him, almost in his thirties, he couldn't imagine how hard it would be for someone that young. Plus the little guy was pretty adorable.

Daniel was the only one who seemed calm. He was talking a whole lot more than anyone else and even struck up a conversation with the maknae. That sun-filled smile was back and Jisung would've been more glad for it if he hadn't been terrified to death. He was too afraid to even talk. If he opened his mouth, he'd throw up for sure. He was trying to run over the dance in his head but it was like his brain was made of static. He could barely think. He had no idea how he was going to do this.

He hadn't even come to peace with the idea of being on stage and auditioning facing brutal judges when he found himself in front of them.

BoA was scarier when he could see her face. She was smiling, softly, but all he could think of was how she'd spoken to the trainees who hadn't lived up to her standards. He was going to have to get ready for that. He knew he was getting an F. She was going to be disappointed in him, just as much as every trainee that had come before. And he had over five years of training. He had no excuses. He was just shit.

BoA flicked through the papers on her desk, looking as though she was ready to say something when she froze. Her head rose slowly to look at one of the trainees, her smile looking a lot more strained and false, not quite reaching her eyes. He couldn't pinpoint the emotion in them -- it seemed like a combination of too many to count -- but it didn't seem overwhelming positive. Jisung followed her gaze, his stomach feeling like it was filled with spiked metal balls.

Of course it was Daniel. It was always Daniel. They must've put that he was a vampire somewhere in the sheets.

Daniel held her gaze. No crimson got through, none that he could see, and he didn't even seem to react, his smile much more sincere than hers. But his face had gone white and his fingers twitched and quivered.

The trainers seemed to glancing at Daniel in a similar fashion but their looks were quick and fleeting, as though afraid of being caught staring. He met Cheetah's eyes for a second and she looked surprised and bewildered, her brows furrowing and frowning lightly.

Daniel opened his mouth but shut it before he said anything. His eyes fell to the floor, breaking his eye contact with BoA and the moment ended.

Her smile returned to being bright, reaching her eyes once again and she gestured for them to continue. "We'd love to see your performance."

Jisung got into place, his breathing heavy already and they hadn't even started. He took one long, trembling breath and shut his eyes for a few moments. He could do this. He had to do this. If Daniel, who now had to impress judges who knew what terrifying creature he was, could do this, he most certainly could do this. He had the advantage of being human after all.

The music started. Jisung managed to focus on his own moves, keeping up the music and making sure he hit his cues instead focusing on the others, with all their energy and presence and charisma. He had to emulate that energy and power. He couldn't get an F. He needed to get something other than an F so badly it burned, it seized his heart and played with his lungs and coiled around his brain. He couldn't think. He could only focus on what move came next, what line came next, how well he could sing.

It was a blur and the music was over and his first and most critical chance to prove himself was gone.

He was panting like a dog, eyes fixed on the judges' table. He thought he'd done pretty well. It hadn't been to Daniel's level but it had been the best he could do. And his chest swelled with pride. He'd done it. He hadn't made a dumb mistake or something, he had landed all his cues and his singing wasn't his best but it was pretty good and stable. He'd done it. He'd have to have done it. He didn't know what he'd do if he got an F now, after he'd given it his everything.

BoA and the other judges conferred, eyes darting towards Daniel every so often, before returning to the sheets. It seemed to take a lifetime for them to decide as they kept talking and debating and pointing to the sheets. The longer it went on, the more knots his stomach got bundled up in, the sicker he felt.

Finally, finally, they pulled apart and BoA picked up the mic. "We enjoyed your performance and thank you for it. I'll now distribute your marks." She paused and surveyed all five of them.

"A."

Jisung couldn't breathe. Would this be the first A? Could one of them possibly get the first A? That was their only other way to get more screen time. Whoever got the first A would be the focus of the cameras, for sure.

"There is none."

He'd expected too much. He heard Daniel inhale sharply but he didn't dare glance at him yet. Not while the cameras were still rolling and their marks had yet to come out. He just stood there and waited.

"B."

Another long pause. More waiting. More deep, terrified breathing.

"Kang Daniel and..." She paused for a moment. "That's it."

"C."

Jisung wanted C so badly it ached. He wasn't delusional to hope for an A or B but he hoped he was at least good enough for a C. He had done his best. He couldn't do better. If his best wasn't even good enough for a C, Jisung didn't know what the fuck he'd do. Over five years of training for nothing.

"Kim Jaehan, Choi Taewoong and..."

Jisung prayed his name came out of her lips. He prayed he was good enough. He prayed his best was enough for now.

"That's all."

He felt his hope diminishing, fading into the night like a forlorn traveller walking into the dark. He was too disappointed to even grasp onto it.

"D."

If Jisung couldn't even get a D, he'd cry for sure. He didn't know what he'd do if he got an F. He already felt old and ugly, he didn't need to add useless and talentless to that list. He stared at her, hoping to find something there, any semblance of sympathy. There was none. They were as smooth and emotionless as her voice, any mercy hidden behind those ice walls, and Jisung didn't understand how he'd found comfort in her earlier.

"There's none."

He felt his world come crashing down around him, like everything he'd once held himself up by, everything that had dictated his identity as an idol and as a person had been cut down in one fell swoop. It was funny how fewer than five words had utterly crushed him.

"F."

He didn't want to hear it. His eyes burned and he was doing everything in his power not to be known as the trainee who broke down on national television. He felt useless. He felt pointless. His fists were clenched so tightly, his nails dug into his palms.

"Joo Jinwoo and Yoon Jisung."

He heard Jinwoo's heavy sigh and he once again, almost looked over at his fellow trainee. But he stared straight ahead, still doing everything he could not to cry, even as his eyes watered. He was ugly enough as it was without crying. And he'd cemented himself as the funny one. He wasn't meant to cry. He couldn't afford cry in front the others. As the eldest, he had to be the strong one, to set a good example.

They bowed in unison, the expression of thanks tasting like ash in his mouth and walked off stage.

He put on the F sticker with shaking hands, trying his best to calm to tremors for the cameras, make it seem like he didn't care when he really really did.

He looked around the others. Jinwoo looked like he was a million miles away, eyes glassy and distant. Taewoong and Jaehan were breathing sighs of relief, smiles spreading across their faces. Jisung tore his eyes away, the ugly grip of envy beginning to worm its way into his heart. Daniel looked so deflated considering he'd gotten one of the best marks and the best mark of the group.

Daniel noticed him. He looked up, eyes wet and his mouth twisted into a half-smile, half-grimace. "They were going to give me an A," he said, his voice quiet and steady considering his expression, "I heard them. Guess they didn't want to give the first A to a leech." He spat the last word, as low as his voice was, expression twisting into something much angrier and more bitter.

Something ugly reared its head in him and Jisung spoke before he thought. "At least you got a B," he snarled, all of it coming out much more cruel than he'd intended, but he was too hurt to give a shit about, "Not a fucking F. It's so fucking sad that you only got a B. I can't imagine because I'm too shit to even get a proper ranking. It's so hard not getting an A and only getting a fucking B instead. The highest rank of the whole group of us and you're still not fucking happy."

Daniel's mouth hung open. He looked like he'd just been slapped across the face. He didn't say anything for a while and Jisung felt like more of a piece of shit with everything second that ticked by. Finally, very quietly, barely above a whisper, Daniel replied.

"Sorry."

Jisung felt a stab of guilt but he let it slide away. His blood still boiled and eyes still burned. He felt like shit. He kept glancing at the cameras. He'd fucked it all up now. He could say goodbye to the final 11. He was old, ugly, untalented and now, to add the ever-growing list of negative traits he was finding he had from the show, cruel.

The other trainees returned to their seats fairly quickly. Soon it was just himself and Daniel. Jisung opened his mouth and closed it again. He couldn't bring himself to apologise. He needed time to think. He wasn't going to have to much time to do that on a reality show, but he was going to try.

He went to leave, not saying another word to Daniel but hesitated. It would look better if he just apologised now. Quickly. And he wouldn't have it on his mind for all the evaluations. He could just let it die now. He didn't really want to fight with anyone during the show, especially not Daniel.

But as he turned back around he found Daniel was already engaged in another conversation, with the maknae (Jisung was fairly certain the kid's name was Lee Woojin). The little kid was staring up at Daniel with hero worship. He felt like he was experiencing deja vu before he realised, with an ugly pang, that Daniel had looked at him in an awfully similar way when they first met.

He couldn't hear the conversation from where he was, only a few words here and there, but the two were chatting away at rapid pace. It was kind of adorable. Woojin was moving closer to Daniel as he spoke, excitement and idolization shining in those big doe eyes. The conversation paused for a moment and the two were listening to someone talk.

Then Woojin went in for what looked like an attempt at a hug and suddenly Daniel stumbled backwards, avoiding the maknae's touch like the plague. The two stood there, with their mouths shut and eyes wide, Woojin's chest heaving and Daniel's frozen. A forced smile made its way across Daniel's face. Woojin looked like he was about to cry. He just patted Woojin's shoulder, a clumsy, awkward motion.

Jisung looked away, feeling pretty intrusive at this stage. It seemed like an oxymoron. Feeling intrusive on a reality show where they had a camera on them at all time. A part of him wanted to stay longer, find out more, figure out what had happened with the hug but he let it be. Daniel was already angry enough at him.

He returned to his seat. Daniel came back a few moments later. They didn't talk.

Jisung was glad they'd been one of the first because BoA seemed to only get harsher and more fed up with every F she had to give. And she was giving a lot. Sometimes his petty fury arose and he thought that he was so much better than some of the trainees getting F. Surely he'd be marked unjustly. It couldn't be fair.

He crushed those thoughts quickly. If he was so much better, why was he in F alongside them?

Occasionally, it seemed like there someone who might just be the first A, someone who'd finally met BoA and the trainer's sky high expectations. But they always stumbled and couldn't make the last hurdle.

Kim Jaehwan had a voice so beautiful that all the chatter died and everyone strained to listen to him. It was so beautiful it took Jisung's breath away. It was so beautiful he couldn't even find it in himself to jealous, he could only appreciate it. But his dancing was worse than Jisung's. B.

Park Jihoon was insanely good at dancing. His popping skills were insane and he came pretty close in skill to Daniel. Not to mention how pretty he was, with every feature on his face seeming to align perfectly to form a work of art. But his rapping skills were mediocre and the high-energy dance prevented him really shining in any area outside of dance. C.

Jisung had no idea what they looking for in A, how high their standard was until Kim Samuel walked on and performed and snatched the first A.

Daniel was by far and way the best trainee Jisung had ever seen but even he seemed to pale in comparison to Kim Samuel. Samuel was like a force of nature. He could sing, he could dance - hell, the kid could even freestyle - and he was good-looking. Triple threat. He'd never heard such stable vocals live from a trainee while dancing. He could barely comprehend how precise his footwork was. And he charming, charismatic and easy to watch, with added the bonus of being especially handsome. And he was sixteen.

He was in essence, perfect.

That's what A was. Perfection. An already debuted idol. They couldn't be improved because there was nothing to improve. It seemed unreachable to Jisung before and now A seemed like a faint dream he'd had once that was in no way ever realistic. That's why Daniel couldn't get an A. He was a vampire. A vampire was never going to get an A. Because they weren't perfect, no matter how good they were. Covering up an idol was a vampire was a hassle for a company. Kim Samuel was an ideal idol for a company. Daniel was not and would never be. He glanced over at him, feeling sick to his stomach.

The first thing Jisung did when they got their break was race up to Daniel and apologise.

Daniel looked confused before he smiled brightly. "Uh, okay," he said before dropping his gaze to the floor, "I'm sorry too. I was thinking too much about myself. I keep pushing my problems onto you and that's pretty messed up. I know I've had a hard last month but it's pretty piss poor excuse for forcing you to deal with all my shit."

"I don't think me getting an F compares much to what you've gone through."

Daniel laughed and shrugged. "True. But it still sucks. And I really shouldn't have been complaining about not getting an A when you got an F." His mouth twisted into a half smile.

Jisung's mouth hung open and his eyes bulged from his sockets. He could see Daniel's panic begin almost immediately and before he could open mouth to say anything, Jisung spoke. "Me? Get an F? What do you mean? I got an A."

Daniel's eyes flashed down to Jisung's nametag and Jisung quickly put his fingers over it in the shape of an A. He grinned wickedly. "It's too bad you're not at my level."

Daniel looked like he'd just gotten whiplash. His eyelids were fluttering rapidly and he was just staring at Jisung.

Jisung reached out his hand and patted Daniel's shoulder, letting his expression fall into something more solemn, sympathetic and serious. Then with all the sincerity he could muster, he said, "I know you really wanted to be the ace of the group but sometimes you just gotta accept the facts and realise, you're not always the best. I am. I'm always the best." He stuck the most exaggered pose he could manage.

Daniel's eyes scrunched up and that bunny smile was stretched wide on his face, lighting up his entire pale face. "Yes, hyung," he said, bowing his head, grovelling, "Please teach me your secrets O Wise One."

Just as Jisung was about to divulge his very valuable and important secrets they got their cue to go back to their seats. He turned to Daniel and shook his head slowly. "The overlords have called us, I'm afraid, my young apprentice. My secrets will have to be divulged another day."

Daniel snorted but covered it up as a sob. "No," he whined, dragging out the word for as long as possible, "How will I ever win Produce 101 without your secrets?"

Jisung began walking back and turned to look back at Daniel and called back, cackling evilly, "You won't!"

Daniel followed him, that sunlit smile still so bright it hurt to look at.

The rest of the day seemed to fly. Jisung's heart felt like it had swelled a hundred times. He felt lighter.

Especially after dancing - well really it was just doing the hand movements - to 'Pick Me'. He kind of couldn't believe he knew all the moves. Only a few months ago he'd barely cared about it and now it was all that his life revolved around. It was his last chance after all. He more than loved it, he needed it.

He glanced around at the other trainees in the three minutes and the forty-six seconds of the song and that was when it dawned on him. Even though they were all competing, many with a hellbent determination, a lot of them were pretty young. He was what, third eldest, and he was barely twenty-seven. And he thought he was old. Jihoon couldn't have been much older than nineteen, Daniel wasn't even twenty-three yet, Samuel was sixteen for fuck's sake. Sixteen. He was a kid. Most of them were. And the show was prepared to treat them like adults. The audience was going to treat them like adults. He was almost sure they'd done sexy concepts on Produce 101. He caught a glimpse the cute blonde one from Brand New Music's adorable broad grin and felt sick at the thought of it. He kind of felt like wrapping all of them in a hug in that moment. Group hug of a hundred-and-one trainees.

And most of them seemed like really nice people. But the show was pushing them to fight. And planning to punish those who messed up, no matter how minor the mistake. And if the show missed out on something, the fans certainly wouldn't. They'd cry foul at some of the trainees who beat their favourites, scream at those they thought undeserving (no matter how hard-working) and actively try to bring down their favourites' opponents. It came out of a place of love but that didn't make it any less painful.. He'd been tempted to go do the same thing while watching Produce 101 after all. He faltered for that moment.

And the chorus hit again and he forgot.

The evaluations started up again after Pick Me. He zoned out for most of them - BoA was right for her frustration in one regard, not a lot of the trainees stood out and if they did, it was for the wrong reasons - but every now and then someone really interesting would show up and Jisung would sit up.

The Cube trainees were cute but much worse than he'd expected (they were still better than him though). The most impressive thing about them was their entertainment company. All he could remember about their audition was that it was the basics. And that was it.

Seeing NU'EST made his blood boil and eyes sting. He was still mad that they had such a huge advantage over everyone. They were coming in with six years experience in comparison to a group of a undebuted trainees. But he wanted to love them. They were his idols. He'd looked up to him. He'd wanted to be like them. They'd meant so much to him.

And then the judges brought another angle, one Jisung hadn't thought of, to the table. They'd failed. They were only here because they'd failed. If everyone here was desperate, no one was as desperate as they were. They needed to prove themselves.

They all also looked awfully young in person. He'd forgotten he was older than them. He could see it now, when they were in front of him. Ren looked like a kid. He hadn't realised how small the boy's face was and his huge eyes made him look even younger. Baekho didn't look nearly as intimidating as he did in the MVs and performance. His eyes kind of reminded him of Daniel's - puppy-like. Minhyun looked slightly older than the other two but that might have just been the height. He was even better-looking in real life but sometimes he'd pull an expression or look a certain way and his age would hit Jisung and he remembered that he was younger than him. By three years. JR took him the most off-guard. He'd always looked like the mature and wise leader, who knew what he was doing, even when he was being funny or dumb. But in front of the judges he looked like any other trainee. Young and inexperienced, if a little sadder and wiser than most.

He hadn't expected them to score so low. They were probably better vocalists than most and they worked better together as a team than anyone else but compared to the brilliance of Kim Samuel and Kim Jaehwan, they felt... weak. Pale. Like they still had a while to go.

It didn't help that they were followed by Ong Seongwoo.

If Jisung was being honest, he laughed the first time he heard the guy's name. Ong? He'd never heard an Ong in his life. It had to be like Hong or Gong or something right? Most of those around him seemed to a similar reaction. He'd glanced across at Daniel and he seemed to be just as confused. And then he saw the guy perform.

Seongwoo had not been arrogant in thinking he'd get an A. He wasn't as well-rounded as Samuel - his vocals were pretty good but not very stable - but everything else more than made up for it. He looked fantastic on screen, like an actor or celebrity. He was so much fun to watch. He was just so charming and likeable on stage that Jisung instantly liked the guy.

But his dancing... his dancing was ridiculous. He thought because the guy was so good-looking he wouldn't be talented but he'd been sorely mistaken. Ong Seongwoo was probably the best dancer he'd seen. His freestyle was better than Samuel's and his popping better than Jihoon's. He took the two to a whole other level. Jisung could only watch with his jaw slack. He snatched the second A.

Lee Woojin was also ridiculous. He'd assumed the kid would be going mostly for the cute angle rather than actual talent. But his voice was fantastic and so stable, and his footwork was great. Not to mention how adorable he was. He wasn't surprised at the B mark.

The Brand New Music trainees, who had the burden of the being the last, were insanely good idols considering they came from a hip-hop company. The rapping was fantastic, which was to be expected but so was the singing and dancing. Lee Daehwi and Park Woojin grabbed the sixth and seventh As, which came as no surprise whatsoever as they were as impressive like every other A recipient (if a little more so for composing and writing their own song and choreographing the dance to it). If he was honest, they were all a lot cuter than he expected. Daehwi was straight up adorable when Jisung forgot he was a monster trainee who could dance, sing and compose and write his own songs. Woojin was quiet but he was cute when he smiled (the snaggletooth was endearing). The only thing that surprised him was that they hadn't all gotten A.

Seven As.

That was it. Only seven. Jisung felt like the standard had been so high for most of the trainees but the judges expectations seemed to be higher. The thirty-one Fs spoke louder than any praise the trainers gave.

But when he saw the title track and dance he understood why there'd been so few As. Maybe he could sing to it, even if it was a little high-pitched, but there wasn't any hope of him being able to sing and dance to it at the same time. And the dance looked hard. Very hard.

But as hard as the dance looked, he was fairly certain he could get it down in like five or six days. Surely. (but he'd had a month to perfect their audition and that hadn't been good enough)

He'd relaxed a bit this stage and his confidence, what little of it remained, began to recover itself. He could get it down. Besides, he had time. Not a lot of it. But it he had it. He could do this.

And then BoA dropped two bombshells at once and they landed with such impact that he almost fell over.

Jisung hadn't a week or so to get it down. He had three days. Three days to perfect it or else he had would have to perform on the floor, out of sight and out of mind. No one would bother to pay attention to a trainee that was barely in frame. He had to get onto the stage. He had to prove he was more than a backup dancer. He had to show MMO they hadn't made a mistake sending him here. This was his last chance.

The sticker felt like it weighed a hundred tons. He couldn't let himself be forgotten. And being on the ground was a one-way ticket towards that. He had to make it into one of the higher levels. He didn't give a shit about being centre, because he would never stand chance against the better looking trainees with much better dancing skills. He just needed to move up.

Around him the air felt heavier. There was thirty-one F level trainees. They couldn't all make it into the upper grades. And it was the worst of worst who were being pushed to perfect this dance in three days. They had the most to lose by remaining in their level. Sure, the Bs were thirsting to get up one level into the next one but they didn't lose anything by not making it. They were still on stage. They were still in the audience's focus. They still mattered.

The trudge back to the rooms was long and oppressive. Jisung couldn't bring himself to talk to anyone. So far, everything bad that could've happened had happened. He was afraid to think of anything worse that could possibly happen. That might happen too.

He just needed move up one grade. Just one grade. Surely he could that much. Just one grade.


	6. V

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Daehwi is adorable and deserves all the love.
> 
> also thanks so much for the two new kudos!

Watching the episode back felt odd. Screen Jisung was so far from how he'd actually felt. Screen Jisung was confident and hilarious and the camera constantly flicked back to him for reactions and funny one-liners. 

If his hope had been destroyed by yesterday's evaluation, it was restored by the broadcast. He hadn't fallen through the cracks and been forgotten. He'd done it. He'd been memorable enough to ensure the camera kept its focus on him. The F didn't even matter. The cameras had loved him.

Hopefully the audience would love him too.

Their audition was pushed into the background, but Jisung didn't give a shit. Some trainees had gotten almost no screen time at all. Some of them looked so dejected it hurt. One of the younger ones looked close to tears. In the end, it was Mnet who dictated who got what. Not the trainees. Not the audience. Mnet chose their favourites and pushed them. 

He'd just been one of the lucky ones. With a hundred and one trainees, there wasn't enough time for all of them. Jisung was just grateful to whichever cameraman had gotten his jokes and whichever editor had kept them. 

The reveal of the vampires was painful to watch. They of course caught Daehwi's terrified expression and several other trainees with similar ones of absolute horror. But they caught some more ambiguous ones, like they were trying to point the audience in the direction of possible vampires. NU'EST's lack of a reaction. Jihoon's strange one. Samuel's eyes narrowing and lips pursing. At the end, Daniel's. He didn't look like he'd gone shock white, like how Jisung had known he had. He just looked slightly shaken, if at all. The reaction was so subtle it looked like almost like NU'EST utter lack of one. 

His eyes flitted over to Daniel. He'd gone pale to match the one on screen, his eyes bulging from their sockets. Lee Woojin was sat near him and stared intensely in his direction. Kim Samuel looked around the room with eyes cut into slits. Joo Haknyeon and Lee Daehwi's heads whipped around at top speed, almost like they'd be able to pick out the vampires now. 

The rest of the episode passed much too slowly. He spent the entirety of it waiting for his ranking to show up. NU'EST obviously took up most of the screen time, much like everyone had suspected they would. Not hating them was hard, even when he knew it wasn't their fault. 

The other leaders in screen time were Kim Samuel, the Brand New Music trainees, Jang Moonbok, Lee Woojin and a few of the big companies. Nothing out of the ordinary. Jisung mostly didn't care. He'd been allowed to be on screen. He'd been allowed to shine. He'd gotten what he want. 

The ranking finally came at the end of episode. The longer his name took to appear, the more his heart swelled in his chest. By the time his name finally cropped up at 35, it was fit to burst. He'd done it. He'd fucking done it. Safely in the top fifty. Within reach of the top eleven. He could do it. He was almost there. He could almost reach out and touch it. He just needed to push upwards into a higher grade. 

The audience had noticed him. Now he had to make sure they didn't forget him.

The walk back to the dorms was loud. One hundred and one chatty trainees could make a lot of noise -- and he couldn't even hold it against them, because he was probably the one contributing to it the most. He managed to talk to a ton of the trainees, most of whom were only too eager to return the conversation before waving goodbye and racing into their dorms.

A relieved sigh slipped from his lips when he found out he was sharing a room with Jinwoo. He didn't have to sleep with complete strangers. Meeting new people was nice, but he didn't love it that much. The other three (Lai Guanlin, Yoo Hweseung and Lee Youjin) seemed nice enough. Besides the fact the first thing he heard come out of one of their mouths was a shitty vampire joke. 

"So, if one of us here is the vampire, let's agree that you don't eat the others." 

It was funny. He knew it was funny. He barked a laugh and smiled at it but both felt awfully fake. Daniel's dumb line just kept bouncing around his head about fan meetings and fans not wanting to meet with an idol who might eat them. It didn't feel funny. It made his stomach squirm. He turned to focus on the F tops instead. 

A grin spread across his face. "Thank God they're grey and not like yellow or something. I look terrible in yellow. I look like someone's aunt." 

Jinwoo rolled his eyes. "I forgot you were chosen for your visuals." 

Jisung feigned a gasp, putting his hand on his chest. He posed awkwardly, the grin growing even broader. "Can't you see how good-looking I am? V who? I only know Yoon Jisung, the nation's visual." He made kissy faces. 

Guanlin sighed so deeply Jisung was surprised he hadn't ejected his lungs. "I just got away from Seonho, please, I don't need more people asking me if they look cute at 3 AM." 

"Note taken," Jisung said, very seriously, nodding and all, wearing The Solemn Expression,"Remind me to ask you if I look cute at 3 AM." 

Guanlin dragged his hands down his face. "Nooo," he whined, dragging out the syllable for as long as his breath would allow. 

"Wait, what are we doing about beds?" Youjin asked, looking at the bunk beds,"I don't want a top bunk." 

"Good for me, I want one," Jisung interjected, climbing up the ladders and sitting on one before anyone could stop him,"I'm not risking getting crushed in the middle of the night. I would rather be doing the crushing." 

They sorted out the beds quickly. There was surprisingly little fighting. Which Jisung was grateful for. He'd take every moment of peace he could get before they were dragged back into Produce 101.

Nayana was the easiest way to inspire dread in trainees that Mnet could conceive of. It was impossible. And he had only a few days to perfect it. Or else he could wave goodbye to his ranking in 35th and his hopes of climbing a grade. The humour and ease of the trip to and back from dorm faded away rather quickly. Tension and determination burned in the air. No one wanted to drop a rank. 

The first hurdle was the song itself. Jisung was a vocalist (and in his opinion a fairly decent singer) and still he couldn't even sing it. The rappers went pale at the sound of the song. Nayana was a high-pitched song. The chorus was virtually impossible for all but like five trainees to sing. Kwon Hyunbin looked like he was about to burst into tears when he heard it.

Not even the As could sing it well. It was like the song had been made to torture every single one of them, to destroy any budgeoning egos, to remind everyone of their place. 

And as hard as the song was, the dance was even more impossible. 

It was harder than anything he'd done before. He thought GOT7's Hard Carry had difficult to learn over a week or two but Nayana made it look like a walk in the park. His limbs never seemed to work when he was performing it. Too fast or too slow, missing entire sections, forgetting small steps, getting tangled up in his own feet. It didn't help they were being taught in fast forward. It was like the trainers had no time to teach them and were just giving them the outline and they had to figure out themselves. 

That would've been fine -- not great but fine -- if not for the fact that the A trainees had gotten the whole dance done in no time. They literally had learnt it there. In seconds. It felt like a slap in the face. How the hell was he ever meant to reach that level? They'd perfected it in minutes and Jisung's attempt to perform Hard Carry with over a week of rehearsals, a song he knew well, was only good enough for an F. 

The fast section felt so fast that only a vampire could do it. But here were a load of human trainees doing it with no problem. He almost wished he was a vampire. Maybe it would've made learning this impossible dance easier. Daniel seemed to be having no problem with it. 

Some of the Fs had even learned it in no time. The first time he tried the fast part, he failed abysmally. So he tried again. And again. But it seemed like no matter how many times he repeated it, he couldn't get it down. His eyes stung and his cheeks burned and he tried it again and again and again. He always placed a foot wrong or got the timing wrong and threw himself entirely off. How was he meant to perfect the entire dance in three days? He couldn't even do a tiny section of it right. 

Jinwoo looked just as despairing. Most of the trainees did. It like all the F trainees had received a collective punch in the gut just from the first challenge. Any expectation of it being easy had been well and truly crushed.

Welcome to F level. Be prepared to be Mnet's piñata, because they will beat it into you where you are the worst of the worst. 

Learning it while divided into the levels was a little easier. He didn't have to be shamed by seeing the much better trainees. He could focus on trying to perfect it himself, surrounded by trainees doing the same thing, all at around the same level. And slowly, but surely, he began to get it, if only a little at a time. 

By the time Jaeseung came down he mostly had it in the bag. He was panting and heaving by the time he did, but how close he'd been to having it perfect made him smile so wide it made his cheeks ache. 

Jaeseung was much nicer about it than he'd expected. It felt a little demeaning. Maybe it his insecurities speaking, but it felt too much like when he told them it was okay to be wrong, he was saying they weren't good enough to be deserving of higher expectations. As though it was okay to be wrong because they'd never get it right.

Jisung's jaw clenched at Jaeseung's kind words and he practiced it again. And again. And again. He needed to move up, he didn't give a shit if it was only one level. He was going to do it until he got it right. Until he proved the trainers they'd been wrong to put him in F. 

The singing practice was easier. Not by much, but easier. The only hard part was the chorus. Besides that, it was mostly fine and Jisung had the song perfected pretty quickly. 

It was the dance that continued to scare him. He stayed up late every night, trying to get it right, not even to perfect it. Just get it sort of right. Just get the moves in sequence, without a mistake. 

It seemed other trainees had the same idea. He was surprised to see some of the A rank trainees but then again, they had to be just as scared as the rest of them. They had to hold onto their positions. To prove their auditions weren't just a fluke.

He probably made the most friends that way. There was always someone else training around the same time. The night before the re-evaluation, he walked in on Kim Samuel and Daehwi in the corner of the training room, talking hurriedly in hushed voices about something very clearly other than training. 

It was obvious from the way they shut up the minute he walked in. Samuel stared at him with slitted eyes while Daehwi's opened wide, bulging from his skull, before he let out a sigh of relief. 

"Oh, hiya hyung," Daehwi said, smiling brightly, the terror vanishing in seconds. 

Samuel remained cautious and suspicious beside him. He had a gaze that reminded him a lot of Daniel's mom -- analysing everything around him. 

"Heya, kids," Jisung said, trying to match Daehwi's brightness, no matter how suspicious (well, really nosy) he was about what they'd been talking about prior to his arrival. 

"We just thought you were Daniel hyung," Daehwi continued, moving out of the corner,"He gave out to us like five minutes ago." 

Jisung's eyebrows furrowed. Daniel wasn't the type to give out, even to those younger than him."Well, you lucky boys get to watch me mess up the Nayana choreography for the millionth time instead," he started but paused, turning in their direction, deciding to pursue the thread of 'Daniel giving out to Daehwi and Samuel'. "Why'd he give out to you?" 

Daehwi shrugged. "We were theorizing about the two vampires. Who they might be. Stuff like that. Then he walked in on us and gave out to us. He looked kind of angry. Like not angry angry but mildly annoyed? Said something about it being private or something. I think I have a right to know who might eat me though." 

"Daehwi, don't go around telling everyone everything," Samuel hissed, glaring at him. 

Daehwi turned back to him, his dismissal clear in his tone even when Jisung couldn't see his face. "Jisung hyung is definitely not the vampire. I saw him stuff his face with the jelly babies he smuggled in." 

"Hey! That was meant to be secret. I mean it's not a secret the food here sucks, but the jelly babies are mine and mine alone, so don't tell people or I'll begin getting nagged by dozens of children looked for something other than diet food. Especially by Seonho."

Daehwi probably wasn't the best person to find out who the vampires were. The entirety of Seoul would know within a week who they were. 

Samuel's expression was still guarded but he seemed a bit more willing to trust Jisung with the very precious info now. "Fine. I think one of the people in B rank might be a vampire because Kim Sangbin found an empty blood bag in the bins near his dorm." 

Jisung's blood ran cold. Fucking hell, Daniel. Fucking hell. He thought the boy would've been more careful. The least he could've done was made sure he threw out his rubbish properly. Was he trying to give it away? Was he trying to make it obvious?

"Maybe someone needed an emergency blood transfusion?" Jisung suggested weakly, a small, fake smile on his face. 

Samuel gave him a funny look. "No, the South Korean Blood Distribution Services insignia was on it." 

Daehwi wiggled his eyebrows. "And Samuel mom's a hunter, so he's seen it before." 

Samuel looked ready to strangle Daehwi. He yanked Daehwi back into the corner and forced him to turn around, so that their backs were facing Jisung. A stream of hushed words came from their mouths, at a rapid-fire pace. Despite the fact, they were the only people in the room with him, he couldn't make out a single word. It was only a few seconds before they turned back to him, Daehwi's expression sulky and Samuel's furious. He sometimes found it hard to believe Samuel was the younger one. 

"Okay, she's in the police force, so she's not a crazy hunter like the ones in Busan," Samuel said, looking like he was trying to murder him with his eyes, "But still, I don't need you letting it slip and the vampires to get really cautious." 

Jisung didn't like the sound of that. But he plastered on a smile and made a zipping his mouth closed and throwing away gesture. Samuel seemed to relax a little at that. Only a little, but it was better than nothing. 

Then Daehwi mumbled something and Samuel kicked Daehwi's shins, tensing up all over again. Daehwi let out a high-pitched gasp, eyes watering.

Jisung winced. "Okay, kids, no need for violence. We can talk about this like adults. With only one adult. Like two kids and an adult." He paused, Samuel's words still on his mind. "Wait, what are you going to do if you find the vampires? Kill them?" 

The two trainees' eyes widened and they glanced at each other with matching expressions of shock. "No, that's illegal," Samuel said, his eyebrows having vanished into his hairline at this stage, "I'd just wanna make sure the audience knows. It's only fair the audience knows what they're voting for. They have a right to know if they voting for humans or not." 

Daehwi mimed biting someone, from beside Samuel, in the most exaggerated depiction of a vampire Jisung had ever seen. Samuel elbowed him and shot him a look that was very clearly screaming stop. 

"Oh," was all he could respond with. He'd assumed all vampire hunters were as extreme Daniel's parents. Samuel just wanted the audience to know? And was fine with just that? 

Nonetheless, the idea of Daniel being exposed as a vampire this early on in Produce 101 made his heart skip a beat, even if no murder was involved. He couldn't help wondering if Daniel and the other vampire had a right to privacy as much as the audience had a right to know. He pushed it away. If he said something like that, he felt Samuel would tense up again and become less willing to share what he knew really quick.

Samuel looked like he wanted to ask him something but he shut his mouth before he said anything. Then he opened his mouth again and went ahead and asked it anyway. "Were you expecti--" 

"No, no, no," Jisung cut him off, "Just wondering. Y'know." 

"Oh." There was a long pause. Not even Daehwi said anything. 

Jisung wasn't done being nosy yet though. "So, um, do you guys have any ideas who it might be?" 

Daehwi nodded. Samuel shook his head. They looked at each other again. A short staring match took place before Samuel let out a much too long-suffering sigh, considering he was only sixteen.

"Yeah, we've got some ideas," he mumbled, sounding so resigned it made it seem like he was an office worker two days before retirement who was forced to come in to do one last long boring piece of work and had just decided to do it even though he didn't want to. 

"Like?" Jisung asked, dragging the 'i' for as long as he possibly could. He sounded a lot more assured than he felt. His heart was hammering like a drum and he was just surprised that he hadn't vomited. Or worse, given something away.

"Kim Jaehwan maybe. Jung Dongsu. Kim Seongri." He paused and his eyes rose to meet Jisung's. "Uh, and Daniel. I don't know about Daniel though. It's just an idea. I know you're from the same company and I know it's not nice to find out that your fellow trainee is a --" 

"No, I understand," Jisung said but his voice sounded distant to his own ears. He was barely able to breathe right. How had Samuel pinpointed an actual vampire so quickly? Had Daniel been so obvious? He had to throw them off the scent somehow. And tell Daniel as soon as possible. He couldn't risk it. Not this early on. 

"Are you sure?" Samuel sounded confused. And unconvinced. But he didn't say any more than that. 

"Yeah, yeah, no, I get it," Jisung said, trying to keep the smile up. Daehwi didn't look convinced but Samuel relaxed at the sight of it. 

Jisung cleared his throat and pushed on. "But Daniel's from Busan. I mean, you've heard his satoori. And his both parents are hunters. Kang Clan. He's an only child too. I don't think he'd been dumb enough to let turn himself into a vampire. He knows how to handle himself. And his parents sure as hell wouldn't let any vampire come in a mile radius of him." Every word felt like a stab to the heart. He didn't falter. He just had to pray Daniel hadn't heard him somehow. 

Daehwi squinted at Jisung before he shrugged. "Well, I guess that's one person crossed off the list. We should probably be getting to sleep anyway. We have the re-evaluations tomorrow." He began moving towards the door. 

Samuel didn't move. His brows furrowed and he looked doubtful. "But my mom said she heard people saying that --" 

Jisung's heart stopped. But Samuel just shook his head. "Doesn't matter. Just remembering it wrong or something. See ya. Goodnight." 

The two left without another word before bursting into the whispers outside the door. Jisung didn't give a shit. He fell into a crouching position, wrapping his hands around his knees and let out a long, weary breath into them. He had to tell Daniel as soon as possible. But he didn't know when that would be. He might've bewildered Samuel for a little bit but he was sure he'd get back on Daniel's case soon. And he would definitely figure out fast. Fuck. 

He hated this. He wished that the audience would just accept Daniel for what he was outside of his vampirism and he didn't have to freak out every time someone mentioned Daniel and vampire too close to each other. He almost wished that Samuel did find out. Then they wouldn't have to worry about it so much. 

He couldn't do anything now. He'd have to wait for tomorrow to confront Daniel on it. Right now, he just had to focus on himself. And Nayana. This was his last chance to ensure he had it perfect. 

But he couldn't move, frozen in that position, head buried in his knees. He was just so exhausted. He didn't really want to do anything. He was half-tempted to go back to bed, like the rest of the trainees. But the thought of messing up the dance terrified him for the millionth time but this time on camera terrified him and his body kicked back into gear again. 

He practiced it until his legs felt like they were about to collapse from underneath and he could barely stand upright with how exhausted he was. Every muscle in his body screamed in agony but he barely managed to get himself to stop. Every mistake he made drove him to do it again and again and again. He wanted to get it perfect. He needed to get it perfect. 

But somehow, through a combination of sheer exhaustion and mental willpower, he managed to break the endless cycle and force himself out of the training room. He almost fell out of the door. 

But a freezing hand grabbed his arm and pulled him upright. Which nearly made him jump a foot in the air. He was about to throw his best punch (which to be fair, wasn't very impressive) in the direction of the freezing hand until his eyes adjusted to the dark and he recognised the dumb pink hair. 

Daniel grinned sheepishly, eyes darting to the fist. His eyes glinted a soft red in the dark, almost like a cat's. "Sorry." 

Jisung's fist and jaw dropped simultaneously."I thought I was going to be murdered in the pitch black! Don't jump up on me like that. Just because vampires can see in the dark, doesn't mean I can. My poor old body nearly had a heart attack." 

Daniel winced. "Sorry. Again. I was just trying to make sure you didn't break your nose or something." 

"Yeah, I need that to ensure my visuals aren't messed up. The nose is very important. My mom said it was my best feature." 

"Tell you mom she was lying to you. I should've just let you break your nose. It would've improved it." 

Jisung aimed a kick at Daniel's shins. He, of course, moved much too fast and was out the way before Jisung's leg had even fully stretched. Even obscured by the dark, he could make out the bright, cheeky smile. "Fuck you. I'm too old for this shit." 

Daniel snickered, like the little shit that he was. "I'll make sure to book you a place in the retirement home after the show."

"Thank fuck, I'm free from your racket for the rest of my life, considering you're never gonna end up joining me." 

Jisung waited for a quip to be fired back, which never seemed to come. 

He glanced over at Daniel. It was hard to make out his expression in the dark, but it wasn't a happy one. The silence spoke louder than words ever could. 

"Too soon?" he asked, his voice quiet. He felt like shit. He kept forgetting how uncomfortable with all of it Daniel was and he hated himself for it. A month wasn't a particularly long time. The wound was fresh and he was picking at the barely-formed scab.

Daniel nodded. "Yeah," he said, his voice all but a whisper, sounding like he'd had to force it out. 

"Sorry."

"It's fine." They both knew it wasn't.

The weighty silence held for a while before Jisung finally realised something. He narrowed his eyes and turned to look at Daniel. "Why are you hanging out outside the training room?" 

"Oh," Daniel said, sounding kind of embarrassed, though Jisung couldn't tell if he was blushing or not, "I was worried. I thought you might like, overwork yourself or something." 

Jisung's heart warmed at the sound of that. He couldn't help the smile returning to his face, even if he was rolling his eyes in the most over the top display of eye-rolling ever seen. "Don't worry. I'll fine. I, unlike you dumbass, know my limits." 

Even from here, he could see how doubtful Daniel looked. But he didn't say anything to contradict Jisung and just nodded. 

Jisung almost told Daniel that it was he who should've been worried. That Samuel was on his tail, that they were trying to tell the whole world about what he was, that he had to make sure he wasn't exposed by anyone. He didn't say any of that. "You should be too. Careful, I mean." 

It sounded weak to his own ears. He wanted to explain it all to Daniel properly but he was tired and he just wanted to sleep. There would be time for it tomorrow. 

Daniel's eyebrows drew together but he once again, didn't pursue further. "I'm gonna head up to bed. Um. Goodnight." 

"Goodnight." 

Watching Daniel's retreating back, he just hoped he got a chance to tell him tomorrow. Somehow. And he hoped he figured how to throw Samuel and Daehwi off the scent. And most of all, he hoped he managed to get out F level. 

But those were tomorrow's problems. Right now, he just wanted to sleep.


	7. VI

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This whole name the chapters the number of the chapter thing seemed like a good idea until the Chapter 7: 6 began to get real annoying real fast. Maybe I should just change to Roman Numerals or something.

Waiting to do his attempt at Nayana was the most stressful Jisung had ever done. Bile rose in his throat and his hands shook the entire time.

Watching the other trainees did not ease his nerves in the slightest. If anything, it made it worse. Every time someone made a mistake (which unnervingly often), he got more and more tense. All he could see was himself making the same mistake, instead of the actual choreography.

He tried to look away, to focus on memorizing the choreography instead mixing up with trainees getting it wrong, but his eyes were always drawn back to it. It was like he was forced to watch every mistake, no matter how much worse it made him feel.

He was surprised no one had thrown up yet. A lot of the others looked as close to it as he felt but no one rushed out to the toilet. There were fair amount of tears of frustration after getting the moves wrong or forgetting the dance all together, but no puking. At least not yet. Maybe he could be the first. At least it'd be memorable.

The time flew. Or maybe he was just one of the first. He couldn't tell. His head wasn't in the right place. Not to mention how tired he felt. He was on the verge of keeling over and falling asleep on the spot. Had those extra hours of training been worth it? Maybe Daniel and Samuel had had the right idea. Then again, they'd both already memorised the entire thing in only a few minutes. 

The ones who messed it up really badly were devastating to watch. One of them just sort of stopped midway through it, his face sheet white as he struggled to remember the rest of the moves. And another couldn't remember the lyrics and froze up, trying to co-ordinate their singing and dancing as best they could. Another still stepped in front of the camera just blanked. Jisung had seen him perform it perfectly just a few minutes prior. 

It was like every time someone failed, the image of him failing sharpened and solidified. Trainees better than him had chickened out and gone blank. If they couldn't do it, how was he supposed to? His best had earned him an F last time. Why would it be any different here? 

But he had to go up a level. He didn't just want to be the funny guy. He wanted to be talented too. And maybe that was being greedy but Jisung was so desperate to not be looked down upon like he had been for so fucking long that it physically hurt. He needed to prove he was more than they thought he was. That he deserved a spot in the final eleven. That he was worth it. That he wasn't just someone to be eliminated in the last round after having served his purpose -- entertainment. There for fun but never actually been considered. 

Jisung wanted to be considered. He wanted to be one of the people who the audience looked at and thought -- they're gonna be in the final eleven. But it was so far out of reach it looked like a distant star. 

He had no idea how many trainees had gone before his name was called. It could've three or thirty. 

His body moved without his mind. He got up to his feet and stepped in front of the camera, feeling as though he was watching himself from afar. His mind was totally blank but a wave of serenity washed over him. It was strange, to just feel distant, when so much rested on this performance. 

And then the music began playing and he crashed back into his body, terror grasping him with its claws and refusing to let go, freezing in him place. He stared at the camera for several moments, his stomach doing backflips and cartwheels and bile rising in his throat so quickly he was sure he was going to vomit. 

He couldn't do this. He'd frozen up at the sight of a camera. How could he be an idol? He was meant to be in boring nine to five office job, where everything was safe and controlled. Not up here, too scared to even move just because now there was a camera in front of him. 

If he did make it, he was going to have to deal with hundreds of cameras, all of them on him. How was he supposed to do that if the sight of just one scared him to death? The career path he'd worked towards for years involved cameras. He'd known this. He'd been on camera all week. It hadn't bothered him this much up until now. Why was he suddenly so scared now? 

The audience was expecting something from him. They hadn't placed him in thirty-fifth for nothing. He had a responsibility to exceed their expectations. He had a responsibility to his parents, to his mom, who'd invested in his dream for years, who just wanted him to succeed. They were probably at home watching him. He couldn't let them down. He couldn't. 

He could do this. He had to do this. 

He clenched his jaw and swallowed hard. He took a single deep breath, and just as the first chorus hit, his body shifted into gear, muscle memory taking over. His voice came out shaky at first. He almost winced at the sound of it. But it too, fell into place and the grin soon followed. It was just a camera. He'd done this dance a hundred times before. And it had been almost perfect most of the time. Almost perfect was enough to move him up a grade. He didn't need to be in A. He just needed to move up one, two levels. 

He was soaring so high. His confidence levels were through the roof. He could do this. He was going to show everyone that it didn't matter that he was old and ugly and not particularly outstanding at dancing. He was still talented. He could still make it. He could still rise up from the depths of F level. 

And then he made a mistake. 

It was sudden. Like a bout of whiplash. He'd just started. He'd been doing it for barely half a minute and he'd already fucked it up. The urge to break down, like Kwon Hyunbin did, swelled within him, fit to burst. He wanted to just cry right then and there. To just collapse on the floor. How was he supposed to move up now? He'd frozen up for the whole first verse. Now he'd made a mistake. He was staying in F for sure. 

It lasted only a second. He plastered the grin back on and threw up a cheesy peace sign. It was just one mistake. Almost perfect. That was all he needed. Just enough to move up.

He kept going until the end. There weren't any more major mistakes or bouts of forgetfulness. Maybe staying up till three a.m. had done some good, as worried as Daniel had been. When he reached the finishing pose, he was panting and heaving and on top of the world. He felt as light as feather. Like he could just jump and he'd float away. The cheesy smile on his face felt so sincere and so wide that his cheeks ached. He'd done it. He'd actually done it. 

He stood up with shaking legs and bowed deeply to the camera, breathing heavily. He threw in a dumbass kiss too, for bonus points and returned to his place, sitting beside the rest of Fs. 

That was when the exhaustion hit him, like a ton of bricks. His legs felt like they were made of jelly. Thank God he'd managed to sit down before he'd realised how worn out he was. His hands were trembling and his stomach was back to doing a full artistic gymnastics routine. He'd wouldn't have been surprised if he vomited up his breakfast right then and there. 

He barely paid attention to the rest of trainees. All he could do was replay it in his head a million times, finding every tiny mistake and praying the trainers didn't pick up on each one. He just had to hope it was enough. It had to be enough. He didn't know how much more he could give. 

Before he knew it, it was lunch time and the trainees were filing out of the training room and into the canteen. His mind a million miles away, Jisung wandered aimlessly, following the rest of the pack. He wasn't even quite sure where he was going. He was just walking, still focused on the re-evaluation. It was unchangeable, and he knew it, but it didn't stop him from tormenting himself over it.

He was knocked back into the present with a soft punch to his shoulder and the perpetrator swooped in front of him, a bright grin on his face. 

"How'd the re-evaluation go?" Daniel asked, walking backwards so that he could face him. His mouth formed an 'o' shape. "That bad?" 

Jisung shook his head, trying to put together a sentence in his addled, shaken mind. "No," was all he managed. 

Daniel's expression clearly spelt out that he didn't believe him. But he didn't push. "I think mine went okay. Well, I mean, it went better than I expected." That bright grin returned. 

Jisung just sort of nodded, walking over to the canteen to pick some food. He grabbed the first thing he could get his hands on (which was dumb, he fucking hated instant noodles, why wasn't he paying attention? Food required attention). Daniel took the carton out of his hands and swapped it out for a plate of kimbap, grabbing some chopsticks while he was at it.

Daniel, having suddenly turned into the adult out of the two of them, guided him to a table. "Was it that bad?" 

Before Jisung had a chance to reply and explain he was just sort of in shock for reasons he couldn't quite understand yet, a very eager-looking Daehwi slammed his plate down on their table, followed by a reluctant Samuel and a fed-up-looking Park Woojin. 

"Hiya, guys! Can I join?" 

Jisung stared at him. He was still not caught up with the fact he'd just completed the re-evaluation, he was not ready to deal with an excited, hormonal teenager. He wanted to say no. Badly. But Daehwi was way too cute for his own good and he kind of didn't want to be mean to a kid. 

Daniel's eyes were darting back and forth between him and Daehwi, as though one of them held the answers to why the three had spontaneously appeared at their table.

Daehwi just sat there, looking more high-strung than he'd ever seen him, a manic grin spread across his face. No reply came but Daehwi wasn't about to let that stop him. "Great!" 

Samuel and Woojin exchanged glances and simultaneously let out a long-suffering sigh. Jisung's heart reached out to them. He could deal with Daehwi's excitable cuteness sometimes, but not 24/7. 

But before Daehwi had a chance to say anything, another person decided to come to their table. A high-pitched clearing of the throat came out of nowhere and Daniel's face lit up. He turned to see Lee Woojin, a combination of terror and hope on his face, the rival to Daehwi's cuteness. 

"C-can I sit with you?" 

Before anyone else had a chance to say anything, Daniel had already replied. "Yeah, come on in!" 

Daehwi looked like he was about to explode from impatience but somehow managed to keep quiet. By all accounts, it was a miracle. Nothing of the like would be seen again.

Baby Woojin's expression brightened and he all but ran over to the empty seat beside Daniel. As soon as his butt hit the seat Daehwi began talking. 

"So, y'know we were telling --" Daehwi stopped in his tracks, eyes narrowing in the direction of Daniel. "Wait, is he cool with this?" His eyes flitted over to Baby Woojin. "And him? Wait -- he could be one!" 

Samuel rolled his eyes. "It's illegal to turn minors." But his expresion soon matched Daehwi's. "And I'm curious about Daniel too." 

Older Woojin stayed silent, having begun to eat and looking like he would much rather be elsewhere. 

Daniel looked somewhere between offended and confused. "I'm cool. I mean, I think I'm cool, but I have no idea how you want me to be cool." 

Baby Woojin nodded. "Daniel-hyung's cool." He was like a little minion in the best way. Kind of like an adorable, insanely talented cheerleader. Jisung would have to get one. 

Daehwi looked to and fro, like he was hiding the universe's secrets and was about to reveal them. He leaned forward in the most over the top way possible, earning another deep sigh from Older Woojin. "I mean about the stuff you got mad at us for talking about last night. Jisung convinced us you're not... one of them, so we don't have to worry about you alerting them." 

Samuel didn't look convinced that Daniel wasn't a vampire. His eyes were like slits, focused on him with a burning intensity that made Jisung glad he was not at the receiving end of that stare. 

"Oh," Daniel said, and Jisung could feel his stare on his neck but refused to meet his eyes, "That. Um. Sorry about yesterday. I gave out way too much. I was in a bad mood because of other stuff." 

Daehwi's smile returned in a flash. This boy changed emotions so quickly it gave Jisung whiplash. How did anyone keep up with him? It was like he was moving at twice the speed of everyone else. "Great! We've made progress on trying to figure out who the vampires are. Obviously eliminating Daniel made it way easier but stuff besides that." 

Jisung's heart froze. He had no idea where he found it but he somehow summoned a smile and plastered it onto his face. He stared down at his kimbap, having suddenly lost his appetite. He just had to pray it wasn't anything to do with Daniel. 

A glance at Daniel showed much the same sentiment. His hands were trembling ever so slightly, barely enough to be noticeable. Jisung met his eyes and they seemed to accuse him of not telling him. Of withholding information as important as this from him. But the accusations lasted for just a moment and his eyes clouded with fear. 

Samuel seemed to have caught onto Daniel's reaction too. His eyes were locked on Daniel, studying him, analysing him, searching his face as though the answer to the suspicions he'd raised the night before lay within.

Baby Woojin was the one who broke the silence. "Wait, you're looking for vampires?" he squeaked, eyes the size of the moon, "Isn't that dangerous? They could drain you dry in like three seconds flat!" 

"Well who did you think _they_ were?" 

Woojin shrugged, still looking scared to death at the thought of actually looking for vampires. "I didn't think it would be something as messed-up as vampires." His voice was a mumble but an indignant one. 

Jisung couldn't help but glance over at Daniel at that, the very subject of their discussion. He was staring straight ahead of him, skin stretched thin over tightly-clasped, shaking fists. His mouth had become a straight line and Jisung thought he could see tears welling in those puppy eyes. He prayed they didn't fall. He didn't think either of them wanted Daniel to be revealed as a vampire yet. Especially not after what Lee Woojin had said.

He tore his eyes, unwillingly, away from Daniel, only to meet Samuel's suspicious ones. 

"Wait, how do we know that Daniel isn't a vampire?" Samuel said.

All eyes turned to Daniel. 

Daniel had gone sheet white. He laughed uneasily, rolling his eyes but it all seemed so unconvincing, so fake. "What?" 

Park Woojin's eyes had turned into slits, to match Samuel's. "You're from Busan, right?" 

The satoori made Jisung's blood run cold. Daniel wasn't exactly from an obscure family. What if news had spread? What if Park Woojin was somehow connected to the hunters there, what if he'd heard about Daniel's turning somehow, what if he was now putting the pieces together? Jisung had to shove his hands into his pockets to keep them from trembling.

Daniel's reply was slow and shaky. "And?"

"My dad used to be a hunter. He still keeps up with some of his old friends and they said that someone big, the kid of a Kang or a Ji or someone, had been turned recently." Jisung would've broken under Park Woojin's piercing stare. He had no idea how Daniel barely wavered. 

"This is relevant, why?" Daniel asked, his face still paler than usual but his voice gaining strength, "Baekho's surname is Kang too. Why don't you ask him if he's a vampire?"

Right when Park Woojin looked like he might be doubting himself, Samuel backed him up. "Yeah, I heard something similar from my mom. She said the revenge turnings were coming back, that they'd managed to turn a big name this time and no one had any idea who'd done it." His eyes flitted down to the empty table in front of Daniel. "You're not even eating anything." 

Daniel opened his mouth. And then closed it and opened it again and closed it again. No words came out. Lee Woojin was staring at Daniel, open-mouthed and Daehwi's eyes were bulging, as though they'd already accepted it and were now trying to come to terms with it. 

Jisung clenched his jaw. He was not letting them kill Daniel's dreams like this. The audience couldn't know. Not yet. He opened his mouth, not even really sure what he was going to say. 

"He's not hungry because he stole all my fucking jelly babies. And then began tucking into my other sweets. He kept complaining about how hungry he was and I told him to wait till lunch but he's a dumbass, so here we are." 

Daniel was smart enough to feign embarrassment for the story. Daehwi and Lee Woojin quickly smiled, shaking their heads in a manner that almost seemed to imply they'd never actually believed it. Samuel softened up a bit, maybe thinking the excuse had some base in truth. 

Park Woojin didn't look convinced. "No offence Jisung but those are just words. We need proof. And Baekho's from Jeju, not Busan. I know it's hard to think a close friend might be one of them, but we still have to consider it." 

Jisung hadn't thought this far in advance. But he had to stick his guns now. Everyone was looking at the two of the expectantly.

"I can give you proof." He turned to Daniel. "Hey, Daniel, you want some kimbap?" 

Daniel stared at him with bulging eyes, like he was trying to silently scream that this was not a good idea and to remember what happened last time. Well, Jisung never had any good ideas. This was just another bad one that might just work. He kicked Daniel under the table, hard, still beaming as he did so.

Daniel smiled weakly in response. He was shit at looking excited. He looked like he was about to protest and even opened his mouth to do so but before he had a chance to say anything, Jisung shoved a slice in his mouth, successfully completing his mission and shutting Daniel up in one fell swoop. 

The entire table was sort of just staring at them with some sort of combination of concern and confusion. Park Woojin looked really thrown. A glance at a different table showed Ong Seongwoo looking dumbfounded before Jisung threw him a huge, pretentious grin and Seongwoo laughed nervously and turned away quickly. JR and Minhyun looked worried, staring in Daniel's direction but soon looked away, those expressions still fixed on their faces. 

He looked back at Daniel, who looked like he was about to vomit but swallowed the kimbap anyway. Jisung winced. That was not going to be fun vomiting up in a few minutes. Daniel's second fake beam was much more realistic than the first one, thankfully, but it was still wasn't perfect. Jisung was going to have to get him acting lessons or something after this. 

"Well, um," Daehwi said, blinking several times before he spoke, "Um. I guess that sorts that out." 

Daniel nodded, eyes watering, and the rest followed suit. "Yup," Daniel said, sounding choked. 

Baby Woojin's entire being basically lit up. "I knew you weren't a vampire! You're way too nice. And you haven't tried to eat anyone." 

Samuel muttered something that sounded vaguely like, "Blood banks exist, vampires don't need to eat people." 

Older Woojin looked really taken aback. His voice was quiet and apologetic when he spoke. "I thought I'd heard your name crop up but maybe that was do to do with something else." 

"Obviously," Jisung said, the smile beginning to hurt his cheeks at this stage, "Daniel's human. Like everyone else at this table. Well, except maybe Daehwi. Daehwi's something else." 

Park Woojin snorted, the heavy atmosphere finally vanishing, his smile returning.

Daehwi was less amused. "Hey!" He looked so offended it was kind of hilarious. "What does that mean?" 

The grin began to feel a lot more genuine at this stage. "Only good things, Daehwi, only good things. Don't you know? I only give compliments. That's me, Yoon Jisung, compliment master, at your service." 

Daehwi didn't look convinced. Samuel cackling beside him didn't help. But before Daehwi had a chance to interrogate him on what he meant, they were being signalled to leave. 

Daehwi let out a long, pained whine. He followed it up with a very long, so long Jisung couldn't help but wonder how he hadn't run out of breath, "Nooo." He looked at the rest of them with a pout on his face. "I didn't even get to tell you about the new evidence I found." 

Samuel rolled his eyes but still smiled comfortingly, patting him on the back. "You can tell them tomorrow. Maybe you'll have found some more proof as to who the vampires are." 

Daehwi nodded sadly and followed Older Woojin and Samuel out of the canteen. Baby Woojin looked like he wanted to stick with them but Daniel told him to go in a low, raspy voice. Woojin looked pretty deflated by that. Daniel ruffled his hair. "I'll catch up." 

When the kid had run off, Daniel turned to Jisung, a sickly shade of green that made him look closer to death than he usually did. "Couldn't you have figured out a different way to get the point across?" 

"I saved your skin," Jisung shot back, "Don't come at me. If the audience finds out now, they'll hate you. You'll just be the vampire trainee. They won't care about the Kang Daniel underneath, they'll just see the fangs and think you're going to eat them. You said so yourself." It sounded harsh, even to his own ears, but Jisung couldn't afford to care. If Daniel hadn't understood yet, he'd have to make him understand now. 

Daniel's face scrunched up, those puppy eyes welling up and Jisung felt sick to his stomach. 

He softened his tone and lowered his voice. "I'm sorry. That was out of line. I--" 

"No, no, you're right." His voice was firmer than Jisung had expected. "I don't think even Woojin would like me if he knew." He let out a bitter laugh before his head jerked forward and his hand slammed over his mouth. 

"You should probably run to the bathroom." 

Daniel nodded. "No shit." And with that he bolted. 

Jisung just hoped he'd be okay. Maybe he shouldn't have given him the whole slice of kimbap. He would've followed him but he could see one of the members of staff glaring at him and there was basically no Fs left in the canteen. Checking up on Daniel would have to be left to later. 

He jogged after the rest of his group, only sparing one glance back in the direction that Daniel had vanished off too, and hoping against all odds that it was all okay. 


	8. VII

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I can't believe this has gotten 200+ hits and 10 kudos already, I'm kind of blown away. I'm really glad so many people are invested.
> 
> Also the comments are amazing and I appreciate every single one of them. Thanks so much for taking the time to comment, it really means the world to me.
> 
> Also, happy three years with Wanna One!

The next day was the scariest of his life. The wait to find out if he'd managed to move up made the time before performing Nayana seem like a walk in the park. All he could do was sit there, just staring ahead into the distance, his stomach feeling like it was filled with sharp metal balls.

He was going to throw up for sure. He could envision it. Yoon Jisung, projectile-vomiting trainee from MMO. Vote for him if you want his stomach contents on your face when he's performing and he gets too nervous. 

When Jaeseung said seventeen had managed to move, Jisung almost dared to hope. Surely he was one of those seventeen. He had to be. Please. He needed to be. He had to move upwards so badly it ached. 

But looking around at the other thirty-one, he could see the same hope and determination in their eyes. They all wanted it. Most of them deserved more than he did. His performance had been shit. First he'd frozen up and then he'd made mistake after mistake. He'd only performed part of the song because he'd been so scared. Could he really move up with that? Amongst trainees who'd had much, much better performances than he did?

Seventeen didn't seem like that many anymore. 

Jaeseung seemed to take forever with calling out the names for the re-evaluation cards. Time slowed to crawl and everytime he heard a name that remotely sounded like his, his heart jumped, hoping it was his, that he didn't have to sit in anticipation for any longer. But it never seemed to be. Trainee after trainee was called out, but never him. 

An unsettling thought popped into his head. What if they were going in order of rank? Those promoted to As in first and those staying in F going last. Logically, he knew it made no sense, but logic had long since escaped his terrified mind. It seemed to make sense to him. He was staying in F. He'd failed. He'd put so much into it and he'd failed. Hard work didn't mean shit. He was last because they thought he was worst. Tears pricked his eyes. He wasn't going to make it into the final eleven. He wasn't talented. He wasn't able for this. He wasn't cut out to be an idol. He should've been in an boring office job, where the biggest let down would be finding he had to do some hard work rather than having his self-esteem battered at every moment and having to pretend it didn't hurt.

Right when his fear seemed prepared to swallow him whole, Jaeseung called out his name. His head shot up. His throat went dry. Moment of truth. Now he'd see if he'd done it, if he'd managed to move up even one level. He managed to climb to his feet, in a daze and and accepted the card with shaking hands. 

He couldn't even open it until he sat down. His breath caught in his throat as he struggled to open it, his hands trembling so badly he could barely grip the card properly in order to open it. Somehow he managed to. It took him a few moments to read that single letter. He stared at it, unable to believe it. 

His face split into a grin and he almost cried with joy. He'd done it. He'd fucking done it. He'd managed to move up. It was only one level, to D, but it felt like the biggest victory of his lifetime. It was one grade. It didn't even mean he was good. He was far from it. But he'd done what he'd needed, what he'd wanted. He'd done it. He'd fucking done it. 

Exhuastian washed over him. The determination to move up even a single level had pushed him through the pain, through the fatigue and through the mental strain. He wanted a break. Everything hurt and his limbs ached. He'd moved up one level but it felt like it had cost him everything. And he still was only good enough to go up one level.

Tears welled up again, threatening to spill but the camera was watching him and he held in the exhaustion and tears and plastered the biggest, most genuine smile he could manage on his face. The audience couldn't see how much he ached, how much he hurt. Idols were barely human. They were more than that. They had to be perfect. 

Vampires being so unpopular as trainees made little sense in that moment. He'd seen Daniel difference before and after his turning. He'd been good before but now he was otherworldly. He reached heights a human, even ones as talented as Samuel, Seongwoo and Woojin, could only dream of. Vampires could exceed human limits with ease. They were pale to match the idol standards, they barely ate and never aged. Vampires were as close to perfect as one could get. 

Well, except for the fact they could look terrifying. And they literally fed off human blood. The not aging thing got a bit unnerving after a while. Even if Jisung would kill for it. He was already so much older than all the other trainees and each day he was getting that little bit older, while Daniel got to stay the same age, never having to worry about the thought of being considered too old for an idol. 

He was pulled out of his thoughts by the entrance of more trainees, Ds and Cs. Oh. These were the ones who hadn't been so lucky. They hadn't managed to get the choreography, who hadn't been able to sing the song, who had blanked worse than the F level trainees. His heart sunk at the sight of them. They looked so deflated and broken and vulnerable that it hurt. He wished the cameras hadn't been rolling. That they'd let the trainees had a chance to come to terms with having dropped down to the bottom. He knew how difficult it was to try and accept that the trainers, some of whom he'd idolized and looked up to, thought you were the worst of worst. Saying it hurt was doing it a disservice. 

He spotted Lai Guanlin, amongst them, holding his re-evaluation card with white-knuckled fists. Bae Jinyoung was staring at the ground, looking so utterly small and helpless that it hurt to hold his gaze on him. He hadn't expected to see Ren here. That made that much more devastating. Ren had been someone he'd admired but to realise that the show even disapproved of his idols? It felt like a slap in the face. Not to mention how empty and unemotive he looked at it, so far from the sniffling and terror of the trainees around him. 

He tore his stare away from the hurting trainees quickly, looking at his re-evaluation card instead, hoping it would cheer him up, somehow. It didn't seem to do much. 

Then the trainees moving to D were called. Jisung got his feet, along with several other F level trainees. He risked a look back at the rest. He regretted it. Some of the Fs and all of the former Cs and Ds were staring at him with longing. He met Jinwoo's eyes and his heart broke. He wished he could've taken one of the few familiar people with him, but he was powerless here. He looked away as fast as he could. 

The walk up the stairs to the D level room was like walking on clouds. An uncontrollable smile spread across his face as he moved upwards. A glance at the others told him they shared the same sentiment. 

There was a note of surprise that none of them could find it in themselves to be disappointed. Then again, it was hard to ruin expectations when many of them had none.

When they entered the D level room, he was surprised to see the Cs already there. He spotted Taewoong and smiled weakly at him. That meant two of his company's trainees had dropped. But no Daniel or Jaehan. His heart swelled. He doubted Daniel would've fallen, he was much too good for that, but he'd still considered it in the worst way possible before stepping into the room. 

Hwang Minhyun was there. He looked crushed, despite a small smile on his face. The other two NU'EST members were staring at him, Baekho with disappointment and JR with confusion and even some fury bubbling underneath the surface. Then Baekho turned to meet his eyes with an soul-piercing stare. Jisung got the message. He looked away.

There were a lot of unexpected people there. Hong Eunki was probably one of the best dancers, just from his audition, but clearly he couldn't get the choreography down either. Or maybe it was the vocals. The choreography being the problem might have been the case for Park Woodam. Woodam was probably up there with Sewoon and Jaehwan for best vocalists. But an idol had to be good at everything. Not just singing or dancing. The trainers seemed intent on beating that idea in their heads. All the Yuehua trainees were there. Ahn Hyeongseop, one of the two originally ranked D, staring at his labelmates with furrowed brows. Jisung couldn't help but wonder if he'd managed to move up. 

When they called for the higher grades, people began filing out of the room. The FNC trainee, Yoo Hoeseung, and the only Maroo Entertainment trainee in D, Kwon Hyeop, were some of the ones who moved up to C. The only YGK+ trainee in D, Lee Hoolim, Oui Entertainment's Kim Donghan, CS Entertainment's Cho Jinyoung and most surprisingly, JR, all moved to B. Finally, only Ahn Hyungseop moved up to A. His frustration with his teammates made much more sense now.

The camera's focus on Kwon Hyunbin seemed like an anomaly when Lee Hoolim was clearly the more talented one. Hyunbin was sweet and cute but Hoolim was actually fitting the criteria to be an idol, if his jump in level meant anything. It wasn't like he wasn't as good-looking or as tall as Hyunbin. But Hoolim had barely appeared on the past episode and instead Hyunbin had been the main focus. Hopefully the rise to B would pull the attention to him. He doubted it would. Mnet had their favourites and they were willing to let any other talent go to waste in favour of pursuing those they preferred. 

But it was JR's leap that surprised him much more than it should have. He was main dancer and main rapper in NU'EST. But he'd assumed, since the others had fallen, that he'd fallen the same path. Clearly he'd been wrong.

It seemed like he blinked and suddenly they were choosing the first center. They'd spent basically all their time practicing before it because it had to perfect, from everyone. Not just the A level trainees. They were wannabe idols after all. Idols were perfect.

Jisung was glad for a break, even though he had no idea what they were doing at first. They were just sitting around an circle platform. Which was cool but still what the hell were they were going to be doing? Would they like all going to squash into the circle and attempt to practice it there? Because that wasn't going to work. 101 trainees were not gonna fit. Maybe Mnet was punishing them for their insolence by forcing all of them to dance in the circle. 

Jisung managed to find Daniel, which was much easier than it sounded given that he had pink hair, was wearing one of the few pink tops (clearly the trainers weren't stupid and recognised Daniel's talent, vampire or no) and stood at five foot eleven, and propose his marvellous theory to him. 

"Why the hell would they do that?" 

Jisung shrugged. "You never know. Mnet is a strange company. Maybe they've had enough of us." 

Daniel was staring at him incredulously. Baby Woojin was beside him, because they seemed have turned into a buy one, get one free offer, and looked just as confused. 

"Maybe they're sick of the mystery want the audience to know who the vampires are so they squeeze us all together see who tries to eat the others." 

Woojin's eyes turned into saucers and his jaw hung open. "Really?" 

Daniel just went tense in response. "Jisung, please." 

He bit his lip. Shit joke. He'd told himself to wait, to not let his smartass mouth get away with him when he knew that Daniel was still struggling, but here he was, pinching Daniel's deep wounds. 

"Woojin, could I talk to Daniel privately about some stuff?" he asked, turning to the maknae. 

Woojin looked like he didn't want to leave Daniel's side in case he got hurt or die or something. "Whatever you say to him, you can say to me."

Daniel, thankfully, realised quickly what private stuff meant. "No, Woojin, could you do as Jisung says? I promise I'll tell you later." He smiled brightly at Woojin, whose shoulders' slumped. 

Woojin managed a weak smile anyway and walked off to find some more friends or something. 

"Sorry about leaving you alone that time," Jisung said, wincing at the memory, "I should've stayed but the staff were calling me to go. Did you manage to clean up okay with no one seeing?" 

Daniel shook his head and for moment, Jisung's heart stopped, before he saw the soft smile on his face. "Yeah, I was fine. I had help from K --" Daniel stopped abruptly, his eyes wide. "Uh. The other vampire." 

Jisung kept his mouth shut on that though, not even daring to consider what had been said as a clue. An uneasy silence settled. Daniel's chest was rising and falling at rapid pace, his hand over his mouth. 

Jisung hesitated before speaking, choosing his words carefully for once. "Is he nice?" 

Daniel turned his head and stared, eyes clouded with a mixture of confusion and gratitude, before the tender smile returned. "Yeah. He's old. I mean, he doesn't look it, obviously, or act it really, he had to straight up tell he was over a hundred but um... yeah. He's nice." 

Jisung couldn't fight the smile growing across his face. "Eh, I've met older. He sounds pretty neat though." 

Daniel's eyes widened. "Older? Wait, you've met vampires before? But you said there were like no vampires in your area."

"I mean, I knew like one. And I didn't tell you because I liked him and I thought you'd tell your parents and he'd show up dead, no matter how famous he is. And he was like three hundred and fifty. So my vampire wins." 

Daniel's mouth formed an 'o' shape. 

Jisung paused. And swallowed slowly, realising something. "I've said something dumb, didn't I?" 

"Wait, famous?" 

Jisung slammed his hand onto Daniel's mouth before the dumbass said anything else. "He's not that big, shut up, someone will find out and leak it to the press and his career will be ruined. You nearly exposed the other vampire all by yourself." Saying an EXO member wasn't that big was the biggest, fattest lie Jisung had ever told with a straight face. 

Daniel pouted, and Jisung almost gave in but he somehow held out, through mental fortitude he never knew he'd possessed. Daniel didn't push further. Another long pause came, unnervingly sobering. Jisung didn't want to imagine what Daniel was thinking. 

Daniel's gaze fell to the floor. "I mean, I've obviously met older. But... I didn't really spend much time talking to them." 

Oh. He'd forgotten. He'd gotten so used to Daniel the baby vampire that he'd almost buried Daniel the prodigy hunter in the depths of his mind. He looked down to the floor as well. "Have your parents reached out? To see how you're doing?" 

"Mom calls whenever she can." Daniel sounded elated but a little choked up. At least one parent was trying to do their best to make sure this whole thing wasn't as painful as it could've been. Jisung was going to have to thank her sometime, even if she'd really messed up that first night.

There was another pause. He glanced over at Daniel and a single blood tear had slipped down his face. Panic seized Jisung's chest and he quickly looked around them, moving to wipe it away but Daniel got there first, rubbing his face hard with the bright pink sleeve. 

Daniel pushed on. "Dad still hasn't called. I... I, uh, tried calling him again but he didn't pick up this time either." His shoulders slumped. He looked so tiny. Jisung wanted to wrap him up in his embrace and protect him from the cruel world that seemed to do little but crush him over and over again. 

"At least you've got your mom," Jisung said, trying to look on the bright side when it felt like there was none. He punched Daniel lightly on the shoulder. "And you've got me, the greatest friend known to man. I even beat out dogs." 

Daniel only smiled weakly. "I still miss him though. And I know it's stupid and I want to hate him, I really, really do. But I still love him. I fucking wish I didn't because it would make all of this easier." 

Jisung placed his hand on Daniel's shoulder and met his eyes. "The first chance we get, I promise we'll go and confront that asshole. But just focus on Produce for now. You've got an audience to impress." He turned away, clapping loudly. "Let's go win this thing!" 

He heard a wheeze from Daniel and his grin broadened. He was glad Daniel's father didn't live in Seoul. If he had, Jisung didn't know if he'd be able to resist the urge to knock down the man's door and punch him in the face, dangerous hunter or no. He pushed those thoughts to the side. He could deal with that later. He had an audience to impress to, if in a smaller way. 

The choosing of the centre took a while. The performances took long enough but getting a hundred and one trainees to vote and then counting those votes? It took much longer than Jisung had expected. They spent a lot of time doing nothing. 

He spent most of it hoping it was Daniel who got it. He needed Daniel to win it. A small part of him told him not to get his hopes too high. But he couldn't help it. He knew Daniel could win it. He knew how good Daniel was. He wanted everyone else to see it too. But as always, he couldn't control it. He just had to leave to those who could. 

His heart deflated when Daniel wasn't even in the final two. He was happy for Lee Woojin and Daehwi, of course, they were both adorable and totally deserving of the position of centre but it didn't mean it hurt any less. Daniel didn't seem to mind. A huge grin was on his face, eyes alight with pride when Woojin's name was called. 

Daehwi ended up getting the position. He was perfect, of course. Cute, a fantastic dancer and singer, charismatic, great visuals, human. It was almost like he was made to be the first centre.

Performing on a stage was nothing like Jisung had ever done before. He'd gotten so used to training rooms he'd almost forgotten that being on stage was part of it. Even just for practicing, it brought something new to all of them. It reinvigorated them. It reminded them of what they were here for, why they wanted to be idols, what it meant. 

Jisung couldn't stop smiling the entire time while practicing. His cheeks hurt and he just smiled harder. Even if the Ds were almost invisible behind the As, he was still on stage. He was still visible. He got the chance to be in the spotlight, even if the camera might only land on him for the barest sliver of a moment. That was all he needed. He just had to make sure he was perfect the entire time. He needed to make that moment count. 

As bad as being hidden behind the As was, it was nowhere near as bad as the Fs. They didn't even get to stand on stage. They had to dance on the floor, like back-up dancers. They got none of the glory. If they got the spotlight, it would be a fluke, a tiny moment in a series of tiny moments. He didn't blame them for crying. The As may have been glorious and eye-catching but Jisung couldn't tear his gaze away from the Fs. 

The hard work felt worth it now. His bones ached but at least he was on stage. At least he felt important. At least he felt valued. The green jumper felt like it was made of gold.

They practiced until everyone was panting and exhuasted, even Daniel. Everyone looked like they were on the verge of death but brimming underneath the exhaustion was still that atmosphere of anticipation and excitement. 

It only grew as everyone got dolled up and ready, getting their microphones attached and changed into the costumes. Backstage was a frenzy, people rushing back and forth with equipment and calling out for trainees, make-up artists racing to apply the final touches, costume designers checking everyone's outfits and making quick, last-minute adjustments. Everyone had a thousand places to be and were trying to get a million things done in the span of minutes. 

Jisung stared into the mirror at the much prettier version of himself and his stomach felt like it was filled with butterflies. He wasn't sure if he wanted to vomit or squeal like a teenage girl. Maybe both. At once. 

He never thought he'd be up here. He thought his chance had vanished into the stratosphere, never to be seen again. He thought he'd never make it to the stage. But here he was. About to be not only on stage but on one of the most famous channels in South Korea. It felt like a dream. He was afraid to pinch himself in case he woke up. If it was a dream, he wanted it to last as long as possible. 

They took their places on the stage quickly but it felt like eons before the music started. The breathing, both his own and that of the trainees around him, sounded like a flurry of gunshots, loud and rapid. Hands were trembling, prayers were being whispered underneath breaths, limbs were repeating the moves as quickly and as subtly as possible. Every second that ticked by without the music starting made him more and more terrified. 

Then, so sudden that he almost jumped, the music blared out and they all froze. Now the second set of waiting began. He kept his ears pricked, listening out for their cue, so scared he'd miss it that it made him feel sick to his core at the thought. The breathing had gone so quiet it was almost non-existant. Everyone was waiting for the signal. 

After they did reach it and began dancing, Jisung didn't remember much. It was all blur, time moving so fast that it flew past his eyes. The next thing he knew, his chest was heaving and he was worn out, the biggest smile on his face, and the music had come to an end. 

Jisung had no idea if he'd done it well or not, if he'd fucked it up entirely or blown everyone away. He hoped he'd made it count. He had to have shown the trainers he was deserving of his place in D, that it hadn't just been that one re-evaluation. All he could do was smile and hope. 

It had felt so small, so insignificant, for all the build-up and all the pain it had caused. There hadn't even been an audience to cheer for them. It felt nice to look at the trainers and see them grinning widely and to be showered with compliments but it felt a little hollow. There was no screaming fans or chanting or anything heart-racing and exciting, in any way similar to the few concerts he'd had been to. 

It had felt exhilarating in the moment but afterwards, Jisung just felt empty. Days of practice for a short, four minute performance in front of an audience they couldn't hear or see.  
It had been fun but pointless. Now everyone was looking onto the next challenge, and the last one had barely ended. 

But that wasn't how the media saw it.

Jisung had forgotten how quickly things blew up, how big the first season had gotten in just a few days. Produce 101 Season 2 seemed to explode overnight. Suddenly the faces of the trainees were everywhere and everyone was talking about them. Magazines and newspapers were printing articles non-stop on them, fan accounts were already being set up and final lineups predicted. 

Jihoon got the majority of the popularity. The audience loved their 'wink boy', who was so pretty and charming he didn't seem real. Daehwi may have been first centre but Jihoon stole the show. In a few seconds, he'd captured the hearts of millions. He'd proven that barely any screen time was still enough to propel someone into superstardom. 

Daehwi, Joo Haknyeon, Moonbok, Bae Jinyoung managed to capture audiences in a similar way. Daehwi was obvious. Being first centre ensured he was on everyone's mouth and in their minds. Haknyeon, Jinyoung and Moonbok were surprises, seeing as they were all Fs and not even on stage. Maybe the Fs hadn't been as invisible as he'd assumed. Especially not when they were as attractive or eye-catching as those three. 

As he'd expected, he'd faded into the background. No one cared about someone like him. He was just funny. He wasn't insanely talented or particularly good-looking or even young. He was entertaining and that was it. But that just made the fire in him burn hotter. They had a while to go. He could push his way up. He had time on his side. His eyes were only focused on the next task. He couldn't afford to look back.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> And we're done with the first "round"! Onto the group battle!


	9. VIII

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So, there's a scene in this where they debate who's gonna do the race but it was only after I wrote that I realised that the people who picked the team raced and I liked the dialogue so much in it that I wasn't bothered to change it. So yeah. Just look at the alternate universe tag and pretend that's an explanation for it.

The group battle made Jisung want to return to the struggle of learning Nayana. It made the first round look like a pleasant introduction, a bike with training wheels on. 

The stakes were upped immediately. The 1000 points for the winning team of the last season had been the tipping point for many trainees. 3000 seemed like the golden opportunity, the one-way ticket to that throne. It seemed unfair, illogical to allow the winning team that many points. Wouldn't that just mean immediate elimination for the members of the opposing team? How was anyone supposed to get the equivalent audience vote to make up for that huge bonus?

Especially now that they were eliminating forty trainees in one go. Forty. They'd already cut down the huge number so much already. Almost half would be gone in a single elimination. 

Jisung was safe, for the moment, but how long would that last? His last ranking had been 35. That felt far too close to 61. There had been bigger drops. All around him, the trainees began whispering. Wasn't that too much for the first round? Should they not ease them off more slowly? They could potentially only have less than two weeks left on the show? 

He had to win. He had no choice. He couldn't go home in the first round. He didn't want to go home in the first round. But no one did. The atmosphere was smoldering and heavy, and in the eyes of every single one of those one hundred and one trainees was the drive to be on that winning team. Being eliminated after one round meant being snuffed out before anyone even know who you were. It meant being forgotten.

But some would have to go. They were all fine with that as long it wasn't them. 

BoA invited Daehwi up to choose his team first.

Everyone assumed he'd go for all As. Maximum talent to put on a fantastic performance and please the audience that way. But they'd all underestimated him. He choose tactically. Jihoon, Samuel, Haknyeon, Ha Sungwoon, Jinyoung, Lee Euiwoong. All the trainees who'd exploded into popularity. More popular trainees, more votes. Whoever went against them would lose for sure. He was cute and young, but he was playing the game as much as the older trainees. He was in it to win, just like the rest of them. 

Hwang Minhyun went next. He half expected him to recreate NU'EST. He didn't. He went for the opposite tactic, picking and choosing some of the most talented trainees; Seongwoo, Jaehwan, JR and Daniel. But even he realised the importance of popular trainees, besides himself and Seongwoo, and chose Kwon Hyunbin. 

Jisung's heart soared when Daniel's was called out. That was a good team. Hopefully they'd make the most of it. Hopefully they'd win. But with Daniel all but sorted, his worries turned to his own situation. 

Every time his name wasn't called, his heart sunk a little further. He should've expected as much. He'd had an F level audition and hadn't showed up at all in Nayana, hidden behind the As. He wasn't well-known for his talent and wasn't popular enough to have that going for him. There wasn't much reason for him to be chosen. But he needed to win this. He wanted to ended up in a good team so badly it hurt. He didn't want to be one of the leftover 6, hopeless and unwanted. He might as well say goodbye to those 3000 points before he started. 

When Kim Taemin finally choose him, he felt like falling to his knees and thanking him. And the team was pretty solid. Besides Kim Taemin himself, himself and Kim Taewoo were the lowest graded trainees at D. They had no A level trainees but they only had one F so they basically cancelled each other out. Sort of. 

He thought that that was that over and done with. That after that it would be smooth sailing and he'd never have to worry again. But Mnet was never that nice. Something like racing seemed right up their alley. And, add to to the torture, Mnet decided to only give them a minute to decide. 

Kim Hyeonwoo started right off the bat with what everyone was thinking. "I don't think we should do Replay. Um. It wouldn't really suit us." 

A glance around told him that these were mostly trainees around his age. Sure, Hyeonwoo himself and Yoon Jaechan, were young but uh... the rest of them were not. 

Jisung pouted anyway. "What do you mean? I'm one of the brightest and most youthful trainees here. I'm made for Replay." He threw in some really bad aegyo to really emphasise that obvious cuteness. 

Taewoo gasped. "Woojin better watch out, he's got competition."

Hyeonwoo rolled his eyes. "Guys, we have a minute." 

"It's been twenty seconds and all we've done is established to avoid Replay at all costs," Lee Hoollim agreed, backing up his fellow YGK+ trainee.

"I don't think we should go for Sorry, Sorry either, or Boy In Luv," Taemin said, dragging everyone back on track. "Sorry, Sorry is mostly vocals -- I'm a rapper -- and Boy In Luv is basically impossible to sing and dance to and actually sound good. I think leave that one to the A level trainees." 

Taewoo decided to contribute nothing. "Wow, that only leaves five." 

"Better than eight," Hyeonwoo said, eyeing the other trainee.

Jisung decided to throw his hat in the ring, because what the hell. "I want to do Mansae. It's not the hardest one there." Mansae meant vocals and funny expressions, two things he was good at it. Like, the only two things he was good at it. The dance was sort of hard but he could work at that.

Taewoo seemed to be considering it but Taemin frowned. "I'd prefer Be Mine." 

Hoolim didn't come across as happy with that suggestion. "The choreo has to be spot on though." 

Hyeonwoo's eyes were on the clock as he spoke. "Guys, we make a decision like now."

"How about Call Me Baby?" Taewoo said, deciding to add to the confusion. 

Just as he said that, BoA yelled that time was up. 

Hyeonwoo turned to back to the others so fast Jisung was surprised he hadn't broken his neck. "So just avoid Replay, Sorry, Sorry and Boy In Luv."

Taemin then noted something kind of important. "Wait, who's running?" 

"As long as it's not me, I'm fine with it," Jisung said quickly, "I was cursed with short, stubby chicken legs when I was born." 

Hoolim looked concerned at that but kept his mouth shut. 

Taewoo offered the obvious solution. "Taemin, you chose the team, you go." 

Taemin sighed deeply but just nodded. "Fine." 

Taemin looked more than a little annoyed by the thought of running but the urge to feel sorry for him was easily overpowered by his joy at not being forced to run.

Of course, Mnet couldn't just have a simple race. Of course not. That would be too easy. They had to make everything a hundred times more difficult than it had to be. 

"Only eight out of the sixteen teams get to pick their teams," BoA said, deciding to tell them now, right when everyone was high-strung and some of those running looked they were on the verge of vomiting.

The team stared at Taemin, who looked like he was about to shit himself. He managed a nervous smile.

"Maybe we should've chosen more carefully," Taewoo whispered. 

"You suggested it," Hyeonwoo reminded him. 

"That doesn't mean it was a good idea!" Taewoo said, indignant. 

Well, there was no changing now. They were well and truly done for, if Taemin was even mediocre at running. 

"Yeah, let's be more careful next time," Jisung said before remembering there wasn't going to be a next time, "Nevermind, we're f -- done for, might as well just accept defeat. Nice knowing you guys, hopefully I get to see you from my TV at home."

Daniel wasn't one of those running, with Minhyun running instead. Jisung was surprised for a split second, until he remembered. Hiding his vampirism if he slipped up and moved like a blur would be nigh-impossible and it happened far too often. Daniel had gotten better but sometimes he still moved too fast, too unnaturally, like he was battling against his body's natural instincts, like a tiger kept on a leash. 

It would be pretty unfair to. Unless the other vampire competed. Then it would be the most boring race ever. Oh they've started and nope, they're done. Didn't even see them. No commentary required. He could kind of get why vampires were banned from the Olympics. Not particularly entertaining to watch people who moved so fast you couldn't see them race. 

And then BoA hit them with some more brutal information. Because she seemed to hold everything back until everyone had absorb the last piece of terrifying info and then slammed them in the face with yet another cruel tidbit. "The eight teams are also allowed to choose their opponents." 

"Any of you know any particularly good prayers?" Jisung asked, trying to smile amidst the absolute terror, "I think we might need one."

The signal to start came and the trainees burst into motion. One of the Bs, he couldn't see who, led the group by a good margin. It was fast, but relatively peaceful and orderly at first. 

It was the calm before the storm. Chaos erupted when the trainees hit the wall. Suddenly any order or manners were thrown into the wind and as everyone grabbed and seized whatever was closest, seeming to abandon any plans that had been made in the moments prior. 

The fastest left as soon as the chaos began but those lingering fought tooth and nail to grab something, anything, like animals fighting for their last meal. Probably another good reason not to add a vampire into the mix. Grabbing and pushing and shoving was bad enough without supernatural strength and fangs in the mix. 

The leaders of the pack of trainees had already reached the posts and were attaching their chosen songs to them. Taemin actually managed to grab something and actually get it on the post before anyone else. Which was a pleasant surprise. Maybe they still had a shot. Minhyun had failed to grab anything. Daehwi was so fast that Jisung would've mistaken him for a vampire if he hadn't seen real thing.

Jisung hadn't expected it to be over so quickly, but at least it meant he didn't have to hold his breath in wait. 

The lines quickly rearranged for choosing. Those who were being chosen looked desolate and devasted, as though any hope had been lost. It felt a bit over the top, seeing as some of the teams that could be chosen were pretty fantastic. 

Which scared Jisung more. What if they had no teams except the good ones left? What if they were forced to go up against insanely good trainees, with their ragtag team made up of zero A level trainees? Jisung couldn't see them winning it. They may have won the race but that felt like a hollow victory. It was already about to be pointless. 

Kim Yeonguk went first. Everyone knew who was going to be chosen first. That much was obvious. Jung Joongji's team was an easy win. One D and the rest Fs? The team made up of those who no one wanted? If Jisung was worried about his chances with a fairly good team, those trainees had to be petrified. There was no outcome that resulted in their victory. It was like they existed solely as a punching bag. 

Hyeonwoo had even suggested they go for that team if possible. Jisung was sure that every other team had thought the same. It was the easy choice. No one wanted to go home in the first round, before they'd even made any kind of impact. They were more than willing to walk over others in order to ensure that. 

Joongji's expression didn't change upon being called up. He'd seen it coming to. Looking like a man who'd already accepted his defeat but still doing his best to smile through the tears, he walked over to stand beside Yeonguk's team. 

The other teams paired up. Taemin went with Choi Junyeong's group after a game of Chinese whispers. The pleased expressions on the team's faced made Jisung's stomach do a backflip. One of them even pumped his fist in the air. 

Minhyun's team was last to be picked, which was no surprise. No one wanted to go up against at team as strong as that. It was basically a sure fire defeat. The only team that could've taken them on was Daehwi's team. He felt kind of bad for Jo Yonggeun. He'd been forced to choose them. But he wanted Daniel to get the 3000 points more than he wanted them for himself. And if that meant snagging an easy win, he would gladly watch them do it.

BoA gave a farewell (well, really an until later) speech, before leaving them to try and get the entire song learned in a week. He'd done Nayana, surely he could manage this. Hopefully. Please. He really needed to show that he wasn't just a one trick pony. 

They'd barely sat down and began discussing parts and the dance when Jisung glanced over at Minhyun's group to see that Daniel wasn't there. His heart skipped a beat. He whipped his head around the room, eyes scanning the room at rapid pace. How could he lose the bright pink hair again? He really didn't need this shit. He knew it was probably nothing. He knew it was dumb. But his mind raced ahead, considering even the most ourageous possibilities, shirking his attempts to restrain it.

Before he had a chance to be consumed by his worry, he spotted the trademark candyfloss hair (it kind of was growing on him, Daniel had been right about one thing) and let out a sigh of relief. And then narrowed his eyes. Daniel slipped out of the door, so subtle that it almost cancelled out the ridiculous hair, hand over his mouth. 

He turned back to the others, who were chatting -- well, somewhere between chatting and arguing. "I gotta go to the toilet." 

Hoolim just nodded and turned back to the others and taking that as his permission to go, Jisung moved as quickly as he could after Daniel without coming across as suspicious. He was quick enough, thank goodness, and managed not to lose him, following him into the bathrooms. 

Daniel was turned away from the door when Jisung opened it, almost like he was trying to hide something. One hand was leaning on the sink, his fingers grasping it so hard, it looked like he was about to rip it right off the wall. 

"Daniel, it's just me," Jisung said, withholding the urge to roll his eyes, "You look suspicious as shit anyway, at least hide in a cubicle or something."

Daniel turned so quickly it seemed like he'd teleported. His fangs were extended, if only a little and his irises coloured a violent red. "I panicked! I didn't think I'd get over to the cubicle in time!" 

"Uh. Super speed?" 

Daniel at least had the audacity to look embarrassed. "Okay, okay, I'll know for next time. Did you come just to lecture me? I have my mom for that."

"Yeah, I actually decided I needed to wack the common sense back into you. We don't do lectures in Wonju." Jisung paused, letting the humour fade into the air. He already regretted seeing it go. "What's wrong?" 

Daniel's face hardened. But it lasted for only a moment and his expression became more open again. "Just hungry. I basically didn't get a chance to drink at all yesterday. And I only got more blood the day before. I came so late that they only had B positive left." He pulled a face.

"Dick." Jisung aimed a kick at him, which he obviously missed. "B is the superior blood type because it's the Jisung blood type. Automatically making it great." 

Daniel snickered wickedly and Jisung felt like aiming another kick at him, this time at his head. Maybe he'd catch Daniel off guard. But he was such a good person, so he held himself back -- albeit with great difficulty -- and focused on the important stuff. 

"Will you be okay for the rest of the day?" 

Daniel nodded. "I'm just hungry, not dying of starvation. I'm not gonna go drain someone dry because I'm in a blood-frenzy. It's gonna suck but I can do it." 

"You might wanna get rid of the red eyes and fangs before you go out again though. Kind of a dead giveaway." Jisung did his best impression of the other Produce 101 trainees. "Ooh, I wonder if the guy with fangs and red eyes one of the vampires? Hmm, I wonder..." 

Daniel kicked him in the shins, lightly, grinning. "Yeah, yeah, I'm working on it. I'm not an idi..." 

He trailed off suddenly, those crimson eyes widening, focused on something behind Jisung. Or more worryingly, someone.

Jisung didn't even want to turn around to find out what or who it was. But slowly, he managed to turn to face the doorway, his heart beating so fast it felt like it was about to burst out of his chest. 

He came face to face with Park Jihoon.

That strange emotion, from the very first time he saw him, was in his eyes. He still couldn't quite figure out what it was. But while it had unnerved back then, now it petrified him. Jihoon was holding all the cards now. He knew about Daniel. 

Daniel was the first to speak, his words rushed and voice trembling."Jihoon. I -- uh -- I can explain." 

Jihoon raised an eyebrow. "What're you going to explain?" He paused, closing the door behind him and lowering his voice, those terrifying, pretty eyes still focused on Daniel. "You're one of the vampires." 

Daniel didn't say anything in return.

"I'm not going to tell anyone," Jihoon said, rolling his eyes, before they snapped back to Daniel. He paused. 

Jisung could hear his heart hammering for every second of that pause. He didn't dare hope. By the look on Daniel's face, it was clear he wasn't hoping either.

"I want something in return though." 

And there it was. The two of them nodded rapidly, Jisung's breaths coming out in quick pants and Daniel not breathing at all. 

Jisung tore his lips open, his throat dry, and he managed to croak out a reply. "What?"

Jihoon peeked outside the door for a split second. He turned back to them, that strange expression returning to his face. An odd silence lingered before he finally spoke, as though he was listening out, just in case someone else walked in. 

"I want you to turn me." 

Jisung could only stare. Some ugly part of him swelled with revulsion at the thought that someone might actually want to turn into a vampire.

That strange emotion in his Jihoon's eyes finally made sense. He wanted what Daniel had. It wasn't fear, it was desire, it wasn't suspicion, it was longing, a mixture of emotions much stranger than Jisung could ever have expected. 

"What?" Daniel asked, his brows pulling together and his mouth twisting into something akin to a grimace. 

That calm determination seemed to shrink and Jihoon along with it. "I want you to turn me," he repeated, but his voice shook. 

An ugly quiet lingered for longer than it was welcome. Jihoon looked so vulnerable in it, like it was pushing the parts of him he wanted to keep hidden forward, against his will, into the hands of people who could only look at those pieces of his soul with disdain. 

Jisung almost felt bad for him but the fact still stood that he wanted to be a vampire. It was like an unspoken law of the universe that wanting to be a vampire was wrong and unnatural and twisted. It was a deviation from society, from the status quo, from the conformity that dictated everything. Being a vampire meant living off other people's blood, it meant becoming a murderer and a parasite. Who would dare to want that? 

"I shouldn't have said anything," Jihoon mumbled, his cheeks flushing an angry red, his voice wet, "I'm so stupid fo --"

"Why?" 

Jihoon looked up to meet his eyes, and that determination he'd seen a few seconds ago was drying up and vanishing. "Why what?" he said through clenched teeth. 

"Don't play stupid," Daniel said, his eyes carved into slits, "Why would you want to be a leech?" 

Jihoon flinched. "Why does that matter? You're clearly not gonna do it, so as long we both just keep our mouths shut --" 

"It's just a question," Daniel interrupted but his tone said otherwise. 

"So I don't have to answer it." 

"Just answer the fucking question, Jihoon."

"Didn't you choose too?" Jihoon said suddenly, his brows furrowed, "Why are you being so aggressive about it?" 

Daniel's jaw was clenched so tightly that Jisung was surprised a tooth hadn't cracked. "I didn't. Revenge turning," he snarled. 

Jihoon deflated. "Oh." 

For a second, Daniel almost looked like he felt bad for a Jihoon. But the rage returned quickly. 

Jisung spoke first, still pushing the question that Jihoon seemed adamant to avoid answering. "Why would you want to be a vampire though?" 

Jihoon shrugged. "Stupid reasons. They don't even matter anyway. And I don't have to tell you them." 

"I promise we're not going to make fun of them," Jisung said, rolling his eyes. 

"Yeah, that's really reassuring after you guys looked at me like you think I'm crazy." 

"Jihoon, just tell us and we won't tell anyone about the whole weird vampire wannabe thing," Jisung said, waving his hand dismissively.

"And you don't say anything about me," Daniel said, his voice blazing. 

"Promise?" Jihoon said, those pretty eyes brimming with hope.

"Promise," Jisung said. He mostly didn't have a choice in the matter. They couldn't risk Daniel's identity getting exposed.

Jihoon's gaze fell to the floor. "It's stupid," he mumbled, "I know everyone says I'm better off human because like ninety percent of kpop companies won't want me anymore and my life will be way harder but... I mean, in ten years they're not going to want me anyway. 

"I know the only reason I got popular is for my visuals, I'm not stupid, so I don't want to lose that. I can't afford to. I don't want my career to be over so quickly. I'm just... I'm scared of getting older. Every time I see a trainee younger than me I just think I could be replaced in a few years with them. 

"And I can't rely on humour like you, Jisung, or dancing, like you Daniel. No one gives a shit about my dancing or my rapping or my personality or anything. All they care about is my stupid fucking face and I hate it but it's all I have. So I can't afford to lose it. I just want to not have to worry about the next five or ten years of my career. And if that means taking a hit in the short term, I'm willing to take it." 

Jisung had expected some rhetoric about how vampires were superior, how he wanted to be better than everyone else, maybe even just some garbled gibberish that made no sense to anyone except Jihoon himself. Instead he'd found a mirror, his own fears staring back at him. 

Guilt pooled in his stomach. He'd let the thought slip out from time to time, hadn't he? The thought that maybe it would be easier if he was a vampire. But he still clung to the status quo, to the familiar and he didn't even try to apologise. He couldn't. The words never even formed in his throat. Because some part of him, no matter how small, still thought that Jihoon was wrong for daring to consider vampirism as a solution. 

Did that make him wrong too? All those split seconds, where he thought that maybe, just maybe being a vampire would be a good solution, did they add up to make him just as fucked up as Jihoon? Or was he worse, because he'd seen how much it hurt Daniel and he almost wanted it anyway? 

"Can I go?" Jihoon said, puncturing his thoughts and leaving them to scatter to the wind. 

Daniel almost looked like he wanted to say otherwise, his hands balled up into fists, mouth twisted into a scowl but he just nodded. 

"Please don't tell anyone," Jihoon said, as he opened the door, throwing them one final glance, "I promise I won't say anything about your secret either." 

Jisung nodded in response and Jihoon slipped outside. 

"Well that was kind of disgusting," Daniel said, pulling a grimace, "Didn't expect Jihoon of all people to be a wannabe leech."

Jisung didn't know how to reply. 

"I mean, I just assumed that most of the people who wanted to be one changed their minds after all the news about the newborn vampires and stuff. Telling people what they're really like, like the bloodthirst and the whole killing frenz --" 

"Do you feel bloodthirsty all the time?" Jisung asked, still staring at where Jihoon had been. 

He could feel Daniel's stare boring holes into the side of his head. There was a silence for a few moments. 

"No." 

"So why do you say what they're really like?" 

Daniel stepped in front of him, so they were facing each other. His head tilted, brows knitted together. "Are you defending him?" 

"No," Jisung said, far too quickly, "I'm just wondering." 

"What is there to wonder about? It's pretty straight forward. Wanting to be a vampire is for crazy people." 

"Does the other vampire seem crazy to you?" 

Daniel blinked. "What?" 

"I mean, he probably chose to be a vampire, too, right? So does he seem like a fanatic or something?" 

Jisung would've been lying if he said he wasn't still repulsed by the idea of someone actively trying to be a vampire. But he couldn't help but wonder why. Minseok had probably chosen it, right? It was better if they chose, right? Daniel's turning had been something he never wanted to witness again. His vampirism had been thrust upon him, caused him nothing but pain so far, so why was someone who was prepared to take those hardships and who would have an easier time dealing with them worse than he was? 

Daniel never answered his question and it lingered in the air like a ghost come to torment them. 

They didn't talk as he followed Daniel out of the bathroom and the two parted ways, returning to their groups. Daniel didn't so much as glance at him before he walked off. 

Even as the rest of his team (well, most of them) beamed up at him when he sat down, worry began to flow through his veins, like a deep chill he couldn't get rid of.

"Everything okay?" Hoolim asked, his eyes fixed on Daniel. 

Jisung waved his hand dismissively. "Yeah, he was just feeling sick. It turned out to just be nerves." 

Taemin smiled. "I don't blame him. It kind of gets to you at this stage. Nayana was kind of a blur so it's like it only sets in now." 

Jisung just nodded, unable to reply. He changed the subject. "Are we choosing a centre first?" 

Hyeonwoo nodded. "We were in the process of choosing one while you were talking with Kang Daniel. We'd kind of decided on the final two."

Jisung didn't dare to hope. He was the highest ranked of them, but that didn't mean shit here. Talent would take priority. And he was one of the lowest level trainees in the group. 

Hoolim glanced at the rest of the group before turning back to him. "We thought we should go for either Jaechan or you. You'd both be good at the 'lalala lala' part because you're bright and upbeat." 

Jisung's heart stopped. He wanted it so bad. Centre had been what he'd been striving for, what he'd been praying for, what he'd been begging for. And now it was being handed to him on a silver platter, his for the taking. 

He looked at Jaechan and his gut twisted. The boy looked so hopeful, eyes shining with a pure youthfulness and desire that Jisung had long since lost. 

But centre was within his grasp. He could almost feel it on his fingertips. It would make him stand out. He wouldn't just be the funny guy anymore. He would get to shine. The audience would actually know him, they'd see him and cheer for him. He wanted to make it into the final eleven so badly. This was his chance. And it was being handed to him.

But he plastered a smile on his face and a forced out the most realistic laugh he could manage. "I don't think I'd be the best choice for the 'lalala lala' part, I wouldn't be bright enough. I'm too old. I think Jaechan would be better, he's got a natural freshness I don't have." 

Jaechan lit up, looking so happy that Jisung thought he'd burst into tears. Excitement poured out from him in waves. 

Jisung's heart felt like it weighed so much that it was pulling him down. But he didn't dare lose the smile. 

Taemin didn't seem like he was willing to choose the centre so quickly. "Hey, hyung, try smiling." 

Jisung slapped on the biggest, cheesiest smile, snorting while he did so. He shoved his hurt down far enough that he could ignore it. Taking centre from Jaechan, who deserved it more than he did, wouldn't be right. 

Taemin pushed on. "Do the lalala lala thing."

Jisung did the cutest version of it that he could, going all over the top in every way. It bordered on a parody. 

"See, hyung, you're pretty good too." Taemin looked around at the others for approval. 

For a moment, Jisung dared to hope, to believe, maybe he'd end up as centre. Maybe, just maybe. Maybe he would be a better fit for the place than Jaechan. Maybe they'd see he was good too. That he was worth putting in centre.

But then he met eyes with Jaechan again, who looked like he was so filled with terror that he wasn't even breathing. 

Jisung swallowed, about to say something in protest of the one thing he really wanted, that he really needed. 

But Taewoo butted in. "But, Jisung, no offence, but you'd feel kind of fake."

Jisung put on a funny, fake-angry expression, even as the words felt like they'd physically impaled him. It was funny, right. Play up the humour for the cameras. They were more likely to focus on them that way. No one wanted boring trainees. 

He forced out another laugh, and made a dumb joke, acting like none of it affected him. He'd forgotten how much his age mattered. This entire conversation had reminded him with a punch to the face.

Jaechan was made centre. Jisung did his best to smile and clap like everyone else and move on. They had a dance and song to learn in a week.

At first, it seemed like they had the obvious advantage. The other team, though having already started on choreography, was arguing already. They divided up the parts with little disagreement by comparison and their team was getting along. 

But then they moved onto the choreography and realised that they had a big hurdle ahead of them. 10 of 10 was an acrobatic dance. There was ton of tricks in it. The dance didn't just revolve around the dumb lalala lala part. 

As difficult as it looked, actually performing it was impossible. Not even the two six foot one trainees could manage to lift Jaechan high enough to get him to flip backwards. Jaechan couldn't turn upside down fast enough. They tried and tried and tried, in a million different ways, with everyone getting more frustrated and snappy with each failed attempt. 

The killing blow was when Jisung looked over at the other team for a split second and saw them perform it with ease. The three pink jumpers suddenly stood out. He recognised Noh Taehyun, Byun Hyunmin, Park Woojin and Hong Eunki and his stomach dropped.

He turned back to the others. Taemin was staring at the other team, gripping his hair tightly, breathing rapid and shuddering. Jisung managed to piece together what he wanted to say, even as his fear threatened to swallow him whole. 

"I think we made a mistake."


	10. IX

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I can't believe this hit 301 hits already, that's insane, thanks so much for giving this fic a chance.
> 
> Sadly, this chapter is kind of a short one and there's not much Daniel but I promise you next week's is a lot of fun (well for me, I'm not sure how much you guys will enjoy it ;) )

The rest of the training period was tense.

The group of them had nearly beaten Hoolim up when they found out he was basically the cause of their inevitable failure. Jaechan looked like he was about to cry. Taewoo looked ready to rip his guts out. They'd almost stripped him of leader position on the spot. The entire team felt like they'd already failed and they'd barely even started. What could they do? How were they meant to win against a team that much better than them? 

The small bit of hope Jisung had been grasping onto had slipped through his fingers.

But Hoolim seemed to be hellbent on making up for his mistake. So much so that he was never satisfied with their rehearsals. They'd finish, panting and sweating, and Hoolim, looking just as exhausted as the rest of them, would just shake his head and whisper "again". And they did it again. And again. And again. But someone always seemed to make a mistake, or their moves weren't sharp enough, or they weren't quite able to ace the acrobatics and they'd go again. 

But Jisung couldn't even bring himself to think Hoolim was being unreasonable. Most of the team were outside the elimination mark. They needed to win this. 

Every time they spotted the opposing team practicing, it felt like they were so far behind. Like they couldn't catch up. Hoolim's shoulders would slump and he'd looked so exhausted, like the stress had finally caught up to him. 

They spent far too much time arguing. One of them would blow up after hours and hours of practice and then it would almost devolve into physical fights and Hoolim would get so pissed that they weren't getting anything done that he'd shut them up and they'd go right back to the practice. 

Sometimes it felt like they were making no progress at all. They kept repeating the same steps until they were absolutely perfect, and then it was onto the next tiny section, to perfect that too. There wasn't enough time for that. They couldn't afford to keep stopping and starting and focusing in on such small, unimportant sections. They only had a week. What if they didn't manage to finish it? 

Then there was the issue of Jaechan. 

He barely knew his lines, made most of the mistakes and constantly stared down at the ground, as though he was too ashamed of his lacklustre performance to face whoever was watching him. 

Jisung felt like yelling at him most of the time. Screaming at him to wake the fuck up and actually begin acting like the centre. They didn't have time for this. They needed those 3000 points. He was holding them back. They couldn't afford to deal with any setbacks right now. They had an impossible task ahead of them and Jaechan wasn't making it any easier. 

Even Jaeseung pointed it out. He pulled the boy out to perform on his own after Eunki's insanely good centre performance alone. Jaechan's cheeks burned red the entire time as he made mistake after mistake and forgot the choreography. Jaeseung watched the entire thing with a grimace.

A part of him was glad that Jaechan was being shown he wasn't up to standard, that he had to give it his all if they wanted to stand a chance at winning this. But it felt like his stomach was filled with blades, sharp and cold. Jaechan really, really wanted to be centre. He'd looked so happy to be chosen as centre. Whenever Jisung tried to push for Jaechan to be swapped out, that bright face popped up in his mind and he felt sick. He didn't want to take that away from him. 

But they couldn't afford to risk defeat. Not even if he felt bad about the means of achieving victory. They needed this. And when Jaeseung recommended they change centres, Jisung couldn't help but agree with him. When he met Taewoo's eyes, he could tell the boy mirrored his sentiments. Most of the team did. It was hard enough playing catch-up to the team they had chosen, they didn't need their centre, meant to be their strongest and most talented member, to be forgetting the lines on stage and messing up the dance. Who the hell would vote for a group that couldn't even get a dance down in a week?

But when Jaeseung recommended that, Jaechan's face crumbled. His eyes were open wide, his hands shaking. But he didn't say anything. What could he say? Jaeseung had already dismissed his promise of working hard. 

Jisung hadn't expected to be named as the potential replacement though. His heart swelled hundredfold at the praise. That sliver of hope returned. But Jaechan's devastation was plastered in his mind. He tamped the joy down. He didn't dare let it fester in case he was let down for the countless time. 

His eyes flitted to the camera for the barest of seconds. He didn't want to come across badly either. The elimination was looming. Idols had become hated for less. 

So he looked straight ahead, covering up any emotions he felt with the best mask he could craft. 

It seemed like the team was conflicted at the mention of changing the centre. The atmosphere was a strange one, a mix of hope and despair. It meant changing the choreography for two of them. And Jaechan clearly wasn't the best at remembering choreo. Especially with so little time left. But Jisung couldn't even gauge their reactions, who wanted what. They were all wearing masks of their own. 

And then they sat down to watch the other team perform it a hundred times better than they can ever hope to, with such ease and charisma that it made Jisung want to vote for them without a second thought. With that performance his spirits sunk to the bottom of the ocean. How could they ever win against that? Would changing the centre even matter? 

Eunki was infinitely better than him. He was likeable and easy to watch, with the dancing skills to enhance his natural brightness. So Jisung could pull an expression. Why the hell did that matter? Everyone could pull an expression. But not everyone could dance that well or radiate effortless charm like Eunki did.

Eunki was centre material. Jisung was not. 

They discussed it afterwards anyway, even if Jisung felt like he wasn't up to the task. He wanted it. He really, really did. He wanted it so much that he would've jumped through a thousand hoops to get it. 

But he didn't know if he deserved it.

And in a battle when so many of his teammates' chances at debuting were on the line, deserving it meant a hell of lot more than wanting it. They chose him as centre anyway. Jisung should've been a lot happier than he was. 

Now the fate of almost the entire team was on his shoulders. He wasn't sure if he could carry it. But he sure as hell was going to give it his all. He wanted them to get through. Most of them more than deserved it. But he could only do so much. He couldn't make the audience vote for them. All he could do was try and put on the best performance possible and hope that that was enough. 

But whenever he saw the other team, he wasn't sure if it was. It didn't feel like it was. His best had only earned him a D and before that an F. The other team had some of the best dancers in the entire show. He felt like giving up much too often but whenever he turned and saw his teammates' hopeful faces, he couldn't. If not for himself, for them. So he slapped on that smile and pretended he still had confidence when it had long since escaped him. 

The changing of centres did little to alter Hoolim's attitude towards training. He was still pushing them to the brink night after night, never satisfied with himself or the rest of them. And now they had to ensure that two of them learned new parts in a few days. Hoolim's stress was understandable.

The first day or so was rocky. The two of them kept messing up the choreography in every which way, disrupting the others and messing up the formations. Taewoo had shoved them back into place more than once. Taemin just shook his head every time one of them made a mistake, looking like he'd already given up. Hyeonwoo did his best to keep spirits up. He wasn't as rough as Taewoo, guiding them back into their positions. Every now and then Jisung would glance over at Hoolim and see his eyes welling up with tears. He'd look away quickly. 

He felt sick to his stomach. It felt like it was all his fault. He should've had it down faster than this. He'd watched Jaechan the entire time. It shouldn't have been so hard to replicate the moves. They weren't that difficult. But he always seemed to step wrong or slip up or go in the wrong direction and mess everything up. He would've stayed back to practice if it wasn't far too late by the time they finished up. 

Jaechan was even worse. He was flushed red the entire time as he tried to keep up with little success. His face would scrunch up he made a mistake and those mistakes were common. It seemed like they'd gone back to square one with him. It was like teaching him the entire thing from scratch. Jisung had a feeling he would've stayed back to practice too if he could. 

The worst part were the longing glances he shot at Jisung while they were practicing, eyes fixed on the crown sticker on his chest. Then he'd look away faster than Jisung could read his expression. Jisung couldn't find it in himself to get angry at him. It had been Jaechan's chance, to rise up, to show the audience he was capable and he'd torn it away from him.

Jisung didn't need to rise up after all. He was safely seated at 35th. Jaechan was in 67th. One of them was much more likely to get eliminated than the other. Jaechan needed centre much more than Jisung did. 

But Produce 101 wasn't a charity. Jaechan had had a shot. He'd blown it. The entire team couldn't wait for him to catch up when he was meant to be the one leading them. The rest of them needed the winning points. A good centre could be the difference between winning and being eliminated. They couldn't afford to take a chance. 

But, just in time, the dance began to take shape and become refined. The small details were being added, the expressions were being given importance and there was a polish being added to the moves and performance. Hoolim didn't look so desolate at the end of every rehearsal. They had it down, and they were in the process in perfecting it. 

Granted, perfection was an ideal everyone strove towards but no one ever reached. But they were a lot closer than they had been. 

The strangest and most victorious moment came after they'd ran through the dance a few million times. The final time they performed it, Hoolim wore the brighter smile Jisung had ever seen on his face. When they finished, on the verge of death from sheer exhaustion, the last thing they expected to hear left Hoolim's lips. 

"Well, that was pretty perfect," Hoolim said, his voice soft and low," I think we're all entitled to at least a short break." 

No one moved. Jisung couldn't believe what he'd heard. Had Hoolim actually said they'd finally managed to do it well? He'd said something other than again? He didn't look like he was about to scream, cry and lecture them all at once? He almost asked Hoolim to repeat what he'd said, in case he'd misheard it. He was sure he'd misheard it. He couldn't have heard it right. Hoolim was never satisfied.

But then Taewoo collapsed to the floor and released deep, heavy pants. "Fucking finally," he whispered, hugging the floor in an open arm embrace, snuggling up to it. 

Taemin followed after him, sitting down like an old man. Jisung crumpled into a sitting position next, all his muscles on fire, the moment of rest feeling like ecstasy. Hyeonwoo and Jaechan moved to a sitting position much more carefully and tenderly. Hoolim was the last to sit, suddenly losing his mask of boundless energy and the ability to continue doing the choreo over and over again without rest or food, looking just as worn through as the rest of them.

There was a long silence as everyone savoured the few moments of rest. It was a panicked rest though, as everyone seemed to be thinking of the fact they soon had to return to practicing it again. Jisung would never be able to listen to the song again. He was so sick of it that the mere mention of it made him nauseous. 

Taewoo broke the silence with the last thing that Jisung had expected to talk about, even as it lingered at the back of his mind. 

"So, who do you think the vampires are?"

Taemin rolled his eyes. "Why does that matter at all? What relevance does it have to the dance?"

Taewoo shrugged. "Just curious about everyone's theories. Wait, Hyeonwoo, you're from Busan right, so you probably know."

Hyeonwoo quirked an eyebrow. "My parents aren't hunters. My dad knows hunters but he doesn't know shit about hunting. So I don't know shit about hunting."

Taewoo's shoulders slumped. "Any hunters here?"

The rest shook their heads. Taewoo pouted, before his trademark cheeky grin returned to his face. "Doesn't matter. Who does everyone think it is anyway?" 

Jaechan grimaced. "I don't think we should be discussing them." 

Jisung whipped his head over to Jaechan. "What do you mean, them?" 

Jaechan looked taken aback by the response, but he shrugged, eyes on the floor. "I mean vampires. My parents say it's best not to talk of them. It's rude to. They shouldn't be a conversation topic." 

Jisung couldn't believe his ears. "So what, you pretend they don't exist?" 

Jaechan met his eyes. "If you have to." 

Taewoo let out a long whine. "Come on. Your parents aren't here. The cameras aren't even here. What the fuck is gonna happen to you if you do talk about them? Not like anyone can stop you." 

Jaechan looked doubtful but just nodded. 

Hoolim didn't come across as approving. "I agree with Jaechan. Not with all of it, but we really shouldn't be discussing something like this. And I don't want to spend my time relaxing talking about them." 

Taewoo ignored him. "I'll start then, if no one else wants. So, I think Lee Daehwi might be a leech. Or Park Jihoon. Or maybe even Minhyun from NU'EST." 

Jisung snorted, even as bile rose in his throat at the word choice. He wasn't sure why it made him uncomfortable now, when Daniel threw it around like it was nothing. "It's not Daehwi, anyway."

Taewoo's scrutinizing gaze turned to him. "How would you know?"

The others were all staring at him now, the same question clear in their eyes. He should've kept his mouth shut. His ability to string together a sentence suddenly vanished. 

But he managed to find his tongue right before Taewoo pushed further. "Daehwi was talking to me about his theories on who the vampires were. And he's a minor." 

"And? He could be trying to throw you off the scent," Taewoo said,"And those laws weren't always there."

Jisung had a reply so quick it took him off guard. "He was doing it with Kim Samuel and Park Woojin. One of whom is from Busan."

He wasn't quite sure why he was defending the kid. Maybe it was the cuteness factor, but it almost felt wrong not to say something to ensure that Taewoo didn't go around telling everyone Daehwi was a vampire.

Hyeonwoo sighed. "Not everyone from Busan is a hunter."

Taewoo tapped his nose. "That's what Busan wants you to think."

Hyeonwoo walked over to Taewoo, solely to kick him. Taewoo moved too slowly to dodge it and managed to get a foot right in the ribs. 

Hoolim intervened immediately. "Hey, hey! No kicking! We can't afford for someone to get injured this close to the performance."

Hyeonwoo sat back down and Taewoo stuck out his tongue. Hyeonwoo made to get up again. Taewoo stopped. He moved on pretty quickly. 

"Okay, so that's one person eliminated. Only about 90-something left to go."

Taemin rolled his eyes. "This is so stupid, Taewoo, can we talk about something else." 

"No. What are your theories on who the leech might be then?"

"I don't have any. Because it's not important," Taemin replied, much angrier than Jisung had expected. 

Taewoo had clearly not expected either. He held up his hands in surrender. "Okay, damn, okay. It's like you're from the leech city itself." 

Taemin's eyes narrowed. "Yeah, I'm from Daegu. And? That's not relevant at all. We're discussing shit that's private. The vampires hid what they were for this fucking reason. Dicks like you are constantly using slurs and probably planning on somehow fucking their lives up." 

If he went with Taemin, maybe the two of them would be able to steer the conversation in another direction. So that Daniel's name wouldn't crop up. "I'm with Taemin on this. It's none of our business. They're entitled to their privacy as much as we are."

"Wait, are you guys bloodsuckers?" Taewoo said suddenly. 

Taemin spluttered, eyes wide. "What?" 

That hit harder than Jisung expected. "Why would the fuck you assume that?"

"I mean, you're from Daegu and there's tons of a leeches there..." 

"I'm from Wonju." It was a lacklustre defence but Jisung couldn't find anything else to say. 

"Just because we're decent people, now we're fucking vampires?" 

Taewoo just rolled his eyes. "I'm just joking, come on, don't get so worked up about it." But even he seemed to understand he was veering into dangerous territory and changed the topic. "Hey, Jaechan, who do you think the vampires are?"

Jaechan's mouth opened and closed several times before any words began to take shape. "Um. I dunno. Some people have been saying Kang Daniel's a vampire. I mean. Just like one or two. Maybe Minki from NU'EST." 

Jisung swallowed hard. He fell silent. He'd hoped against hope that Daniel wouldn't crop up in the conversation but he should've known that was being too optimistic. Taemin was still giving out but it only sounded like a buzz in the back his mind, too faded for any words to be made out. He shouldn't have been nearly as shocked. This was the second time someone had guessed one right. 

"It's not Daniel," he said, his voice raspy even in his own ears, "He's from Busan." 

Hyeonwoo looked ready to protest again but Jisung pushed on. 

"And both his parents are hunters. Plus he's an only child, so they're not gonna let their only child get turned into a vampire." 

Taewoo sighed. "How about you suggest some possible vampires instead of dismiss all of them?" 

Jisung clenched his jaw. His own anger surprised him. He'd already ensured that Daniel wasn't going to be suspected, so why was he still fighting? Why was he so angry? Taewoo was an idiot, he was just messing around, so why was fire was coursing through his veins? 

"Maybe I don't want to point fingers and have you torment them on whether or not they're a vampire."

Taewoo's mouth twisted into an ugly line. "I wouldn't do that." 

"So, what, it's fine as long it's behind their back?" 

Taewoo shrugged, nodding his head.

Taemin turned to the leader. "Hoolim, say something please, Taewoo's way out of line at this stage." 

"Taewoo, keep your mouth shut about vampires. No one wants to hear it." But Hoolim didn't sound very powerful. Or authoritative. It was half-hearted, like he actually couldn't give less of a shit as long as he was kept out of it. 

Taemin's face contorted into one of pure fury. Standing up in one sharp move, he stormed over to the door and left. He slammed it closed so hard that it made a sound so loud and so vicious that the hairs on the back of Jisung's neck stood on end. 

Hoolim chewed on his bottom lip. "Let's just get back to practice. We'll run through it once more and then we'll call it a night." 

The rest nodded slowly, rising and walking to their positions. Jisung could barely focus on the rehearsal. The conversation replayed in his mind a hundred times. He felt worse and worse every time he watched it back. 

No one spoke for the rest of the practice session. The air was much too heavy and silence too deafening for that. It passed slowly. Everyone was on edge but the silence remained, unbreakable. 

And then they all went to bed, just as quiet. Jisung hoped that the fight wouldn't ruin the performance tomorrow. They all needed those 3000 points. He hoped the ever-present cameras hadn't caught it. He wished that Taewoo wasn't such an ass and that he'd kept his fucking mouth shut. But he couldn't do anything about that. All he could do, as ever, was hope. And hope seemed to do so little here. 

He fell asleep with a turbulent mind, dreading the next day.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I don't know is Taemin is from Daegu or if Hyeonwoo is from Busan (i think he is but not 100% sure) but shhh


	11. X

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Next chapter is the group battle promise! Just have to up the stakes a little ;)

Everyone just pretended it hadn't happened. It was too close to the group battle for infighting. They couldn't risk it, not when they were faced with the other team's perfection. 

Taewoo apologised, as did Taemin, albeit reluctantly. But that painful tension still lingered. Jisung couldn't wait to be free from the confines of the rehearsal room. 

Lunch was the break he'd prayed for. He all but raced out of there. The longer he had to spend outside that place, the better. But in his rush to get out he almost walked straight into Daniel.

Luckily Daniel sidestepped, throwing out his arm to prevent Jisung from running into a wall. His eyebrows furrowed. "You okay?"

"Yeah, fine, just not fun rehearsing. Uh, there was a fight and everyone's still mad. Let's just head to lunch." 

Daniel opened his mouth but just closed it again, nodding instead. Jisung was grateful. It gave him a chance to forget about all of it, if only for a little while. 

A bottle appeared in Daniel's hands, seemingly out of nowhere and he took a sip out of it. Jisung stared.

Unsurprisingly, Daniel noticed. "Uh, it's not water. I just got the stuff last night and I'm kind of starving. It's fine, the bottle's not transparent. And it's only tomato juice, so no worry." His eyes flitted to and fro as he grinned unconvincingly. 

Jisung couldn't believe his ears. Tomato juice. Fucking tomato juice. Like anyone was gonna fall for that. Blood and tomato juice didn't even resemble each other. No one was going to mistake blood for tomato juice, especially not when so many were hellbent on finding out who the vampires were. 

"What? Daniel, seriously? What if it spills?"

Daniel pouted. "I thought it was a good idea. And besides, it's not gonna spill. Fast reflexes, remember."

"So, what, you managed not to give it away with the bottle but your fast reflexes you use to catch the bottle do?" 

Daniel paused, chewing on his lip. "Um. I'll be really careful?" He shook his head before Jisung had a chance to say anything else. "But seriously, it's gonna be fine. Don't worry. It's my responsibility anyway. I'll deal with it if something goes wrong. Which won't happen."

That did little to calm Jisung's nerves. But he just let it go. "Be careful, Daniel. Not this early on, remember?"

Daniel's lips made a tight line but he just nodded. "I get it, Jisung, I get it. It's gonna be fine."

Jisung shut up, even as his stomach did an entire gymnastics routine. He felt like he was going to get sick. But he pushed the worry away, as best he could, trying to focus on his time away from the hellish practices instead.

They moved towards the canteen, Daniel still taking tiny sips from his bottle, looking awfully pleased with himself considering how dumb the idea was, and sat down next to Baby Woojin and Ong Seongwoo, on Daniel's insistence, at the edge of the table. Jisung didn't really mind where they sat. His kimbap was going to taste the same everywhere. 

Woojin stared at the kimbap. "Haven't you had that like every day this week?" 

"Yeah," Jisung said, grinning wickedly, eyes bulging,"I plan to turn into a kimbap and then eat myself and then I'll die happy." 

Baby Woojin laughed weakly but Seongwoo actually managed a genuine burst of laughter, which was pretty unexpected. He'd kind of just seen the guy from a distance, the one with fantastic visuals and insane dance skills. But if Daniel liked him, that was good enough for him. 

Seongwoo bowed deeply, while seated, which he somehow actually accomplished. "May I join you in your quest to become a kimbap?" 

Jisung made a sweeping arm gesture. "Of course! All may join. We can all be kimbaps together, happy and cannabalistic." 

Daniel stared. "I zone out for like a second and you guys are now talking about becoming kimbaps?" 

Before Jisung had a chance to reply in the most grandiose fashion, Daehwi and his gang of vampire detectives decided to pay them an expected visit. 

"Hi!" Daehwi exclaimed, slamming his tray down next to Baby Woojin, who jumped, "I think I found more evidence as to who the vampires might be!" 

Daniel didn't even flinch. Daehwi seemed to have a new piece of evidence every day. "Which is?"

Older Woojin already looked done and Daehwi hadn't even opened his mouth. That was a record. Samuel leaned his head on his hand, staring glassy-eyed out the window. They all knew what kind of evidence it would be. 

Daehwi cleared his throat. "So, I was walking down the corridor at like midnight and it's really dark and what do I see? A figure in the dark! Dun dun dun!"

The sound effects prompted a collective groan. Daehwi was adorable and usually pretty nice but damn was no one in the mood for it today.

"Daehwi, it was probably your own shadow. Or the janitor," Samuel said, in the longest-suffering tone ever heard, "Or another trainee. Who's not a vampire. There's two vampires in a hundred and one trainees. What makes you think that you even know the vampires a-?"

Daehwi cut him off. "Shh, you're interrupting the story. So then I approached the bin and boom,there was a blood bag. An empty one!" 

Jisung glanced at Daniel, ready to punch him in the face for not properly getting rid of his blood bags again but Daniel's brows were furrowed. Confusion rose in him like a tidal wave, an unsettled feeling pooling in his stomach as he stared at Daniel, who just shrugged when he finally realised Jisung was staring at him.

Older Woojin just sighed and didn't even bother to say anything. He probably knew it was futile.

Samuel was still trying. "Daehwi, it could've been old. It might've been there before the person in the dark was there. And, also why didn't you call the police or at least the staff? Especially if you saw someone in the dark that you might not have known."

Daehwi waved his hand dismissively, wildly. His eyes were alight. "I'm gonna find out who the vampires are. I'm not letting the police get involved." 

Daniel laughed nervously, staring at Daehwi. "What? Daehwi, you can't not involve the police because you want to solve some dumb mystery. If you think someone broke into the building, let the police deal with it."

Daehwi pouted. "It's not a dumb mystery. I want to solve it." 

Seongwoo looked between them. "Uh, shouldn't we just leave the vampires be? I mean, they haven't killed anyone. Or even tried to drink anyone's blood."

Baby Woojin let out a squeak. "Yet! They haven't killed anyone yet. I don't want my blood sucked out! Or to die!" 

Seongwoo and Samuel rolled their eyes simultaneously. Samuel spoke first, beating Seongwoo, who already had his mouth open, by a millisecond. "How many times do I have to say that vampires have blood banks! And it is illegal to drink from someone without consent! What idiot would jeopardise their career by trying to take a snack on the nearest person?!" 

Baby Woojin folded his arms and huffed. "Just because it's illegal, doesn't mean it won't happen." 

"I pray for both vampires if they're dumb enough to try and eat a fellow contestant." 

"Guys," Daehwi whined, dragging out the last syllable, "You're going off-topic! What about my evidence?" 

Older Woojin sighed. "Daehwi, no one's talking about your evidence because it barely counts as evidence."

Jisung leaned his head on his hand. "Why do we always have to talk about vampires? Daehwi, whenever you come over, it's just vampire this vampire that. Why can't we talk about like literally anything else? Maybe even" -- he gasped dramatically -- "nice stuff!" 

Daniel turned his stare to Daehwi and his gang of reluctant vampire hunters. "Yeah, Daehwi, maybe we want to about something different, for once? You really need to calm down with this vampire obsession."

Seongwoo snorted. "It's almost like you wanna be a vampire." 

Daehwi's face contorted into an expression of disgust and revulsion so obvious it would make anyone who walked past steer clear. 

"Ew, no. I don't wanna drink blood. It's disgusting. I think I have a fear of blood, I fainted once, plus who wants to leech off other people's blood for like hundreds of years, that's pretty gross, plus like only crazy people wanna be vampires, and I'm not crazy. Or want to be a vampire."

Jisung's eyes widened in the most comical expression he could manage. "You sound like you speak from experience, Daehwi. Are you secretly the vampire, trying to throw us off the scent?"

Samuel answered on Daehwi's behalf, before he could even open his mouth. "Maybe if he was we could shut him up. But, no, I've seen him eat. So he's one hundred percent human." 

Jisung stroked his chin. "What makes you think Daehwi the vampire would talk any less than Daehwi the human? Then you'd have to deal with never-ending chatter..." -- he whispered the final word, ominously -- "forever..." 

Daehwi was glaring at the two of them. "Haha, funny. But Daehwi the vampire doesn't exist and never will, so let's shut up about fake Daehwi." He turned to Daniel. "Daniel, your hyung is bullying me, make him stop."

Daniel's wicked grin was so wide that Jisung wanted to punch it out of existence. "Hey, Jisung," he said, with no honorifics because he was a dick,"Daehwi wants you to shut up and stop being so mean." 

Seongwoo's mouth formed the exaggerated '0' shape ever seen. Jisung had no idea that someone's mouth could stretch that much. "Daniel, I never took you for r- Watch out!" 

Jisung whipped his head around just in time to see the bottle tumbling to the floor. His stomach dropped and he stared open-mouthed, unable to process what was happening. He was still asleep, he had to be, this was just some twisted nightmare his mind had conjured up to scare him. It couldn't be real. It had to be a dream. But the hard discomfort of the plastic table against his legs, the nausea building in his stomach, the mouth-watering waft of hot foods were all too tangible, too visceral to be a poor mimic his mind had created. 

It couldn't happen now. It was too early, they hadn't even gone through their first elimination yet, Daniel hadn't risen high enough to evade elimination, he hadn't built up enough of a fanbase who would care about him no matter what he was. He hadn't even had a chance to do the group battle yet, he'd literally only performed Nayana, all they would know him as was that pink haired guy who got an A, not Kang Daniel, not as one of the most talented trainees in the competition. And even that would be put into question, if they knew. They'd say he'd only gotten it because he was a vampire, no matter how false it was.

Daniel's insane reflexes kicked in and he reached out at lightning speed, but it was too slow. With the seconds moving like hours, he almost seemed to move sluggishly. Maybe Daniel was in as much shock as he was. Maybe he wasn't thinking clearly. Maybe he was just too slow. The reason didn't matter. Daniel needed to move faster, to catch it now before it was too late. 

But it was already too late. Everyone had probably seen Daniel move at inhuman speed. No normal person could've reached out so quickly in an attempt to grab the bottle. The blood in the bottle would only cement what everyone would've realised. But a part of him still hoped and prayed, that somehow Daniel would catch it, as though it would solve everything.

Daniel's fingers brushed the edge of the bottle, once, twice, three times and he failed to grab it every time. Every failure made Jisung's heart sink lower, made him less and less sure that Daniel would manage to catch it. Why wasn't Daniel able to catch it? What was wrong? It didn't seem to be falling paticularly quickly. He'd seen Daniel move so fast he was a blur, so why couldn't he catch a falling bottle? All he had to do was reach out and grab it. 

The bottle crashed to the floor. Blood went flying everywhere. Crimson stained everything. His heart hammered in his chest. 

Everyone froze. They'd all become statues. Eyes locked on the blood.

Silence.

Daniel panted heavily; his hand where the bottle had been moments prior. He grasped air. 

His eyes were wide. The outstretched hand shook. 

All Jisung could see was the red. Still no one spoke. Bile rose in his throat. 

"Fuck," Daniel said.

Jisung expected the world to explode in commotion and chaos after a few seconds. Those few seconds came and went. Still silence. 

Slowly, he turned to look at the others. They stared at Daniel. Still silence. 

Jisung wanted to crack a joke. To ease off the tension somehow. But he couldn't find the words. Still silence. 

Samuel's brows furrowed, as though he was in the depths of trying to unravel a mystery. Park Woojin was the opposite, his expression neutral almost like he'd expected this. Jisung was tempted to ask if he had. Seongwoo was smiling sympathetically, an unexpected sadness in his eyes. Lee Woojin's face was contorted in horror and fear, eyes bulging. Daehwi's mouth was hanging open, the hints of a smile appearing and disappearing at rapid speed, his face white.

Daehwi was the first to speak. "I thought Jisung said you..." 

Daniel's smile didn't reach his eyes. "Well, I guess he was wrong." 

"No!" Lee Woojin said, voice breaking, fury simmering below the surface, "You can't be a leech! You don't look like a leech, you're Daniel, you're not one of them, it's just a joke, please Daniel just show everyone it's a joke." 

Daniel flinched. His eyes scrunched up and then relaxed. His voice came out as a whisper. "Sorry." 

"Were you only friends with me to eat me?" Woojin asked, his eyes watering and his fists shaking, "Leeches like them young, right?!"

Jisung couldn't bear to look at Daniel's expression. He reached out to Woojin's shoulder but pulled his hand back before he touched it. 

"No," Daniel said, his voice cracking,"Woojin, why the fuck would I do that?"

Woojin whipped his head around. "Because you're a fucking bloodsucker and that's what you do! You lied to everyone! You made us all feel safe when all you planned to do was wait until we trusted you and then you'd come and drain us dry like all the leeches on the news! That bottle is probably filled with the blood of your past victims!" 

Daniel reeled in shock. He wasn't even breathing. "Woojin, please, I didn't want to lie, I wanted to tell the truth, I-" 

Woojin lashed out again, attacking a target already on its knees. "Then why didn't you?! You could've told us! Jisung lied to us the entire time and you could've corrected him! You could've told us you were one of them, your parents weren't hunters, that you were planning to drink our blood! Why didn't you tell us?! 

Daniel's face contorted into an expression of pure fury. "This is fucking why! Why the fuck would I tell you if you're going to call me a leech and a bloodsucker and claim I'm going to drink your blood and rip your throat out?! Why the fuck would I tell you if you're going to treat me like a monster, if you're going to accuse me of lying, if you're going to say I'm going to eat you?!" 

"You still had a responsibility! You put us in danger by not telling us! And you are a monster! You're one of them! It doesn't matter if you're hiding your leech-ness!"

"You want a fucking monster?" Daniel laughed, an empty, hollow sound. The bloody crimson leaked into his eyes and those long, razor-sharp fangs slid out. Jisung's stomach lurched. He'd forgotten how terrifying it looked, how unlike Daniel it looked. All the warmth vanished into the air. 

Daniel leaned into Woojin's face, his voice raspy and low. "Is this good enough? Do you want me to me try and eat you too, or is this enough? I've never tried an asshole little boy's blood before, maybe it tastes better than blood out of fucking bags."

Woojin lost his voice. He stared blankly at his mentor figure in front of him, his chest rising and falling rapidly. All he let out was a small squeak. 

The creature vanished and Daniel shrank back down to himself. His hand flew over his mouth. Those dark eyes watered. "Fuck, Woojin, I'm sorry, I didn't mean it. Please, I'm so sorry --" 

Woojin's eyes bulged. He bolted before Daniel even finished speaking, leaving little bloody footprints after him as he ran through the puddle of crimson. 

Daniel face fell into his hands. Silence returned. 

Samuel was the first to speak, eyes fixed on Jisung as he did so. "Did you know?" 

Jisung hesitated before speaking. He wanted to comfort Daniel first, but the words to do so seemed to be just out of his grasp. So he just answered, desperate to fill the stomach-churning silence.

"Yeah. Um. All the MMO trainees knew." 

Seongwoo spoke next, much to Jisung's surprise. "Revenge turning?" 

Daniel stared at Seongwoo, clearly taken off guard. "Yeah. How'd you know?" 

Seongwoo's smile didn't reach his sad eyes. "Lucky guess."

Samuel stared into his hands. "My mom was talking about it. She's heading the police department trying to catch the one that did it." 

Daniel just nodded, chewing on his lip, eyes staring far off into the distance. 

Park Woojin finally spoke up. "How long has it been?" 

Daniel shrugged, curling up into his himself and looking painfully small. "Uh, like less than two months." 

Woojin fell silent for a few moments before continuing. "I didn't think hunters as big and old as the Kangs would let their only heir turn. I was sure it was a Ji, since that family's huge." He paused before he met Daniel's eyes. "I'm sorry." 

Daniel's smile was small but it was genuine. 

Daehwi was wringing his fingers and fiddling with whatever he could get his hands on. "Sorry for investigating into who you were so hard. Uh. And not respecting your privacy. I see why you didn't want to let anyone know." 

Daniel's smile grew. "Just promise you'll ease up on the vampire thing. I don't think the other vampire wants his identity revealed either."

Daehwi nodded his head violently. "Promise. I'll stop from now on. Hundred percent."

Daniel surveyed those around him, confusion leaking through the gratitude. "I thought you'd be angrier. Like Woojin." His eyes turned to Woojin. "Especially you." 

Woojin shrugged. "My dad isn't like yours. I hadn't expected to actually meet you. Or thought that'd you'd be in Produce." He smiled softly, eyes on the table. "Maybe I'm still in shock." 

"Where are you from? In Busan?" 

"Jung-gu."

Daniel nodded. "Yeah, not surprised. There's barely any vampire hunters there right? And more vampires than anywhere else in Busan?" 

Woojin nodded. "I take it your from Gangseo-gu? My dad was from there but left the minute he turned eighteen. He said it was like hell. Always some vampire murder going on. If not one happening, then they were planning one." 

Daniel's wry smile returned. "That sounds like Gangseo-gu. Not a great place to grow up." 

Daehwi jumped in next, eyes shining. "So, did I actually get any of the evidence, right? I mean, I'm not gonna investigate the other vampire but I just wanna know. I just haven't met like a ton of vampires, so I just wanted to figure it out first so I could like I dunno, get to talk to you and have boasting rights that I figured out who the vampire was before anyone else when I've only met like two." 

Daniel raised his eyebrows. "Uh, okay. Um, I mean you got the blood bag in the bin around the B area right, that was me, but how did you even find that?" 

Daehwi opened his mouth, grinning from ear to ear but Samuel stepped in before he could say anything. "You do not want to know." 

"Hey!" Daehwi said, pouting, "It's a really cool story, honestly!" 

"It's straight up disgusting, like I almost threw up when listening to it. I wanted to wash my brain in bleach afterwards, so maybe I could forget it." 

"Wait, what about the person in the hallway!" Daehwi said suddenly, eyes wide. 

"Um, not me." 

"Wait, wait, does that mean I might have found the other vampire as well? I wonder who they are, maybe if I stay there again tonight I'll..." Daehwi met Daniel's disapproving stare and grinned sheepishly. "No more investigating the other vampire, got it." 

"Hopefully that'll shut him up for a bit," Samuel mumbled, eyeing Daehwi. 

"I think you're being a bit too hopeful," Woojin said, "The day Daehwi shuts up is the day of his funeral."

Daehwi shot the two of them a glare. "Why are you guys so mean?"

"Why are you so talkative?" Samuel shot back. 

"Considering I'm your hyung, you're so rude," Daehwi said, folding his arms. 

"Then act like it and maybe I'll treat you like a hyung." 

"Okay, kids, maybe stop fighting?" Jisung said, stepping in, "I think all of us would appreciate some conversation topic other than vampires and Daehwi's inability to stop talking." 

Before they had a chance to change topic, the cue to return the training came. 

Daehwi's face went pale as his eyes drifted to the pool of blood next to them. When he stood up, his knees buckled and Jisung almost thought they'd collapse out from underneath them. 

"Um," he started, his voice thin and wobbly, "Is there any way that I can get out without looking at... um, the blood?" 

Samuel rolled his eyes but helped anyway, betraying his true intentions. "Just hold my hand and don't look at it and I'll guide us around it. Woojin will take your other hand." 

Woojin sighed and did as he was told and the three of them somehow figured out how to get out without walking into the blood (it involved a lot of clambering clumsily onto chairs), Daehwi gripping the other two's hands so tightly that they went white. 

"I kind of feel bad for the cleaning staff," Seongwoo said, his eyes on the crimson staining the floor, "That's a lot of blood to clean up. And it's not exactly something nice to clean, even if the people have willing sold it." 

"Hey, hey, what about me!" Daniel said, indignant, "That's my food for the next two days on the floor. Do you know how expensive blood is? Or how long it takes to deliver?" 

Jisung whacked him on the back of the head. "And who's fault is it that it's all over the floor? Your dumbass thought that putting it in a bottle was a good idea. Did I not warn you?" 

"I thought it would be fine! I didn't think it would actually fall off the table! And I thought I would catch it." 

"And well done, you failed spectacularly at both." 

Daniel pouted but didn't reply, knowing he was beaten. Jisung: 1. Daniel: 0. He felt like cackling but he withheld the urge. Because he was nice. 

They followed the other three, figuring out a different way to manoeuvre around the spilled blood, Daniel looking at it with longing the entire time. He could feel all of the Produce contestants eyes on them. The conversation had returned to the canteen by that stage but it was hushed and quick, with frequent glances at Daniel. Daniel may have done a good job of ignoring it but Jisung couldn't manage to do the same. 

The sooner they left the better. He didn't want to go back to the training room but the hundreds of eyes unnerved him more than his teammates did. 

And as they left, out of the corner of his eye, Jisung spotted the blinking of a camera.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I have no idea what the different districts of Busan are like, I just literally picked random ones, so please look at the Alternate Universe tag and let it explain away my lack of knowledge on Busan :D


	12. XI

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So, unfortunately, I have to go back to school next week, so from now on I'll be updating every Saturday instead of every Friday. I'm sorry about the change in date, but I'd rather get out a chapter I'm happy with than rush out one I'm not and the change in day gives me all of Saturday to do that. Hope you enjoy the chapter anyway, finally onto the group battle!

If the revelation of Daniel as a vampire changed anything, Jisung didn't even have a chance to notice. They went straight into rehearsals and then into the performance. 

Taemin and Taewoo did a brilliant job of pretending they weren't mad at each other. The team knew. The two refused to even sit next each other. But watching the stage and dress rehearsal back it looked like they were the best of buddies. Like they didn't immediately ignore each other's existence the minute they stepped off the stage. 

The rehearsal was perfect. It scared Jisung. What if that was their best performance? What if they couldn't repeat it? What if it was their single chance to do it perfectly and they'd wasted it on a rehearsal? 

The other team was better. They were always better. A perfect rehearsal still felt worse than theirs. Jisung had no idea how they'd win this one. It didn't seem like a battle they stood a chance in. He almost wanted to forfeit, to just give up before the expected loss hurt anymore than it already did. He wanted to win so badly. But it seemed impossible and the faith he was grasping onto seemed misguided and false. He held onto it anyway.

The time flew. They finished the dress rehearsal. Then they practiced a few more times. 

And then they were getting dressed again; this time for the actual thing. The audience was audible from the dressing rooms. 

And he blinked and they were queued up backstage, waiting to go on. Then, when his frail nerves wanted time to move faster, it slowed to a grinding halt. It gave him too much time to think. 

Jisung hated that they went first. They had to set the bar. They had to fight harder to be remembered. The final acts were always the ones implanted in memory, the openings only vague afterimages by comparison.

His stomach was doing backflip after backflip. He almost ran to the bathroom several times, ready to vomit up his insides but he never quite managed to actually throw up. All he could think about was how it would've ruined his makeup. 

The rest of the team looked similarly terrified. For most of them, it was their last and only chance to prove to the audience they were worth it. They needed this win. It felt like they needed it more than the other team. They didn't stand a chance without it. He wanted to fall to his knees and beg the audience to let them win. Holding back the urge to do so was much harder than he'd expected. 

For a moment, he couldn't help but wonder if he should even care. He was probably going to get through. He was sitting comfortably in the safe zone. And he was rising every week. Getting through without the three thousand points didn't seem like an impossible task. He could live without them. 

Before the thought had a chance to grow and fester, he met Hoolim's eyes and remembered why he should give a shit. He was safe but his teammates were not. And as much as they were tense and angry while working together, far too much of the time, they were still his team.

He couldn't let them down. They deserved more than that. 

But those thoughts of failure hounded at him, undeterred by his determination. They knew they were going to lose. Everyone knew. So what if Jisung could pull a better expression than the other team if they could barely get the whole point of the dance, the acrobatics down? Their team couldn't even get along properly, how were they meant to win a group battle? The entire point of it was teamwork and they'd failed at something as simple as that.

That nagging suspicion chewed away at his mind, making him wonder if they were really cut out to be idols. Idols were meant to be a team first, synchronised and perfect, never so much as faltering in their dedication to the their groupmates. And all their team could do was fight. All they could was argue and battle and ignore each other, like they were toddlers in a playground squabble rather than semi-professionals. And none of the rest of them could even figure out how to resolve it. They should've pulled them over earlier, said something, gotten them to make up and stop fighting somehow, but instead they'd just watched, like they were unable to help.

Maybe they didn't even deserve to win it. Maybe that was why they seemed so far behind the others. Maybe they just weren't meant to win it and it was the universe's way of showing them how futile their attempts were.

Jisung was too afraid to believe it. He had to hold out hope somehow, that they might do it. Because his team needed to win it or else they were eliminated. So they had to win it. There was no other option. Victory or elimination. That was all there was. He couldn't consider failure, not now, not when they were so close. He couldn't let the seeming inevitability of losing muddy his thoughts and wreck his performance. Besides, he was the eldest, he was meant to make sure everyone was okay, that everyone was upbeat and ready and his own terror wouldn't help that in the slightest.

So he plastered on the brightest smile possible. "Ready to win those 3000 points?" 

Taewoo's expression was incredulous. "Do you really think we can win it? The other team is a hundred times better than we are."

Jisung winked and shot fingerguns at Taewoo, the cheesiest expression on his face. "Yeah, but we're cuter!" He shot a billion finger hearts at his teammates. 

The team let out a collective groan, Taemin shaking his head and Hyeonwoo mumbling something about wanting to die.

Taewoo made a retching sound. "Never do that again. Please. Spare me."

Jisung gifted them with another one for good measure. 

Hoollim buried his face in his hands. Jaechan just looked away, as though with that single finger heart, his faith in humanity had died. 

Taewoo stood up. "Okay, that's it. I'm out. I'm gonna spend the rest of the night thinking about this and vomiting into a toilet." 

Jisung bowed deeply. "It was my pleasure to deliver such torment onto you." 

Taewoo looked like he was about to shoot back a reply when a staff member appeared. "Could the two 10 out of 10 teams come onto stage please?" 

Jisung's smile wavered. His heart hammered in his chest and his palms were sweating as Hoolim led them onto the stage, team 2 behind them. 

Stepping onto the stage was exhilarating and terrifying. The audience screamed and whooped and cheered, even those holding signs for different Produce 101 trainees. They were all excited. It didn't matter who their bias was. 

His heart swelled at the sight. Maybe they had a chance. The entirety of this audience hadn't chosen favourites yet. A lot had but not all. He just had to sway the not all group. He had to make them vote for his team. He had to show them he was the centre to a team worth their vote, even if the other team had much more popular members. They could do it. They had to do it. 

He gazed into the faces of thousands of people and he did his best to smile. He felt that urge to beg again. He held it back again. But they were the rulers of his fate. Begging didn't seem that low when they had the power to decide if he advanced or not. All the power lay in their hands. They were the only ones who could save him and his team. Or doom them.

BoA stood between the teams. She asked a few questions. Then they were preparing to perform. 

It was so fast that Jisung felt like he'd gotten whiplash. Then time slowed right down again, right when he wanted to just get the wait before the performance over with. He kneeled down, his hands shaking and his stomach turning itself inside out. He felt like he was going to throw up. But he couldn't. He had to perform. He had to be perfect. 

It had to be better than their rehearsal and that had been perfect. Perfect wasn't good enough when they were up against a team that had every advantage. They had to charming and mind-blowing and skilled and ridiculous and talented and visually stunning and a thousand more things. They couldn't afford to be anything less. They had to ensure the audience loved them. They had to get those 3000 points. He needed to make sure he was more than perfect. That he didn't cause his team's elimination. 

Bile climbed up his throat. But he wasn't afraid of the performing; he was afraid of the failure. He was afraid of not reaching that unreachable mark. He was afraid of holding back and afraid of going too far. He was afraid of messing up, he was afraid of coming across as too silly, afraid of coming across as too stiff, afraid of forgetting the moves or performing the wrong ones or failing as a centre. He was afraid of failing to earn those 3000 points for the team, even if he didn't need them. His teammates did. And he couldn't afford to let them down. Not when they'd changed him to centre.

But Eunki was a thousand times better than him in every way. He was an outstanding dancer, he could sing, he was much better looking and far younger. He seemed like an idol. He looked like an idol. He had the charisma to be an idol. How could he, old and ugly and mediocre, ever hope to beat him? How the hell how could he push his team to a victory when Eunki was the idol he could never be? How could he compete with him? And that wasn't even mentioning the rest of the team. They were out of their league. 

His breaths wavered. He wasn't meant to be an idol. He didn't look like an idol, he was too old, he couldn't reach the heights of perfection that being an idol demanded. The company hadn't debuted him for a reason. He'd been there for five fucking years and they'd never even considered him. What made him think that he could convince an audience that he had what an actual entertainment company meant for making idols thought he'd lacked? He couldn't do this. He couldn't be centre. He wasn't good enough to be centre. He shouldn't have accepted. He should've stayed in the background. He wasn't cut out for this shit.

He was yanked out of the depths of his mind by the music starting. His thoughts were thrown to the side. He plastered on the biggest smile he possibly could, thinking only of the audience he had to win over, racing through the next few moves in his head.

Jisung threw himself into the performance. He gave it everything he had and more, trying to think of everything from dance moves to vocals to expressions, racing from one thought to the next in his determination to ensure he didn't mess up. That he didn't deliver anything less than absolute perfection. He had one fucking shot and he wasn't wasting it. He was going to win this, even if it seemed impossible.

The performance felt like it lasted a few seconds, as though he'd started and then he finished. The only sign he'd actually done it was his sheer exhaustion. He was on the verge of collapse, his chest rising and falling rapidly, gulping in air like his life depended on it. 

The audience screamed and whooped and cheered and Jisung felt like he could've reached out and touched the clouds. The giant smile no longer felt like an act. His heart felt fit to burst. He could only find faces filled love and excitement. His cheeks ached from smiling and he just smiled harder. 

As they walked off the stage, the audience screamed a name and Jisung's heart all but stopped at the sound of it. It was his name. They were yelling his name. It felt surreal, like he was in a dream. Surely he had to be mistaken. He wasn't that good.

But no. It was his name, loud and clear. They were calling for him. The company thought he'd lacked what was necessary to be an idol. The audience thought differently. They thought he was good enough. More than that, they loved him. They thought he was an idol. They didn't care that he was old or mediocre or ugly. They loved him. 

His eyes burned and he almost fell to his knees. He blubbered mindlessly, something about them saying his name but he couldn't even hear himself. All he could hear was the audience. All he could hear was his name being yelled by thousands of people. 

He followed the rest of his team back to watch the other team perform but he felt like he was watching himself from afar. He still hadn't quite absorbed what had happened. His mind was still several steps behind and he was struggling to catch up. He barely even realised the opposing team was performing. Jaechan went to hug him and apologised or something but Jisung barely even replied. He didn't even notice that Jaechan had said anything. He was still in a dream, floating above the depths of his mind, out of reach of the worries that threatened to pull him down.

But the worries could never be fended off for long and they dragged him back down to earth to focus on Team 2's performance. Even then, he didn't want to see. He didn't want one of the greatest moments in his life to be ruined by watching the other, stronger team. He all but watched them through his fingers, his stomach twisting itself into thousands of knots. 

They were perfect. They could be nothing less. Park Woojin filled the entire stage with his presence, despite his small size, and Noh Taehyun followed suit. Eunki was the perfect centre, bright and talented and young. Hyunmin did a thousand flips and turns and kicks and tricks, so many that it was hard to keep up with him. Ahn Hyungseob was cute but fierce, attacking every move with the viciousness that had elevated him into A. Every member worked together as a perfect unit. It was like watching an already debuted idol group. 

Jisung's heart sunk. He just hoped. It was all he ever seemed to be able to do. Maybe they'd beat undefeatable odds and somehow, somehow win. He grasped onto the faith that they might somehow win like a man dying of starvation holding onto his last meal. They had to win. He couldn't let them lose. He wouldn't let them lose. He needed them to win. No matter how good Team 2 was. No matter how much better they were. 

He had go have faith in the audience. He had to have faith that they'd swayed enough people to vote for them, that they'd made up for the talent of Team 2 with their own showmanship and sheer force of will. 

Team 2 finished like the rest of their performance, perfectly. It was all so put together and so impeccable that it felt like watching a clip in an MV. No mistakes, no faltering, never even so much as tiny slip up. It was bursting with pure confidence and talent. But Jisung still dared to hope. There was still a chance. They still had a chance. They had to have a chance. 

Hoolim's determination and perfectionism couldn't be for nothing. Jaechan's sacrifice couldn't be for nothing. The amount of effort each and every single member put in couldn't be for nothing. They'd worked so hard and it couldn't all be for nothing. That felt too cruel. Like it was something Mnet itself couldn't even think of. Hard work deserved reward, right? Hard work meant something, right? Surely it could compensate for the opposing team's insane talent. Please. It had to. It couldn't be for nothing. 

The return to the stage was heart-racing in all the wrong ways. The air felt like it was made out of lead. He could barely breathe. They'd find out who won the three thousand points in a few minutes. This was their last to chance to get down on their knees and beg and plead the audience to give them their precious votes, to give them a shot at getting through. To make sure it wasn't their last stage.

Both team's smiles looked fake. Woojin's smile from the performance had vanished and his expression was grim. Eunki's hands trembled. Hoolim's smile wavered a hundred times but never quite fell from his face. Taemin looked ready to vomit on stage. 

He managed a funny reply anyway. Hyungseop shot one back. BoA laughed. The laughs that followed were nervous. BoA told them to make their last appeal to audience. No one spoke. The silence was thin but oppressive. 

Jisung found himself speaking. He couldn't even manage a smile now. He'd lost his mask. He stared out at the thousands of faces and begged. 

"Hello!" he started, his voice bright, trying to find his missing shield. He couldn't find it. His voice shook. He pushed on.

"This could...." His voice broke, his vision blurring with tears as he dared to even consider the possibility. He blinked them away quickly, determined not to show weakness in front of the others when they needed strength right now. "Be my last stage."

The audience let out an disappointed sound and Jisung pulled from it, from the fact that he thought that they might actually miss him, him, to mend his crumbling defences. He slapped on the brightest, fakest grin he could manage. He continued.

"Thank you for coming to watch our stage!" His voice sounded too cheerful in his own ears, considering the gravity of everything. 

Jaechan pulled him into a tight hug, Taewoo rubbing his back comfortingly, and his vision blurred again. Fuck, he really didn't want to see any of them go. He didn't want to go. He needed them to stay. They were his first team. Jaechan had given up his place as centre to him and he didn't even hold it against him. Here he was, hugging him like he'd never let go. The kid deserved better. They all did. Uptight Hyeonwoo. Perfectionist Hoolim. Sarcastic Taewoo. Laid-back Taemin. He wanted them all to get through. They all deserved to get through. None of them deserved to be eliminated on the first round. 

He pulled out of the hug and finished off his lacklustre plea. He hoped it would do something. He hoped it would drive them through to a victory. And in that moment, he almost believed it could. 

"Please vote for us. We still have so much to show you." Another cheesy grin. 

Then Taehyun made a speech. It was much more put-together than his was, much more refined and thought-out, but just as heartfelt. In that moment any resentment towards them died. They were just as terrified as he was, just as shaken to their cores by the idea of elimination, by the idea of failure. He hoped they got through too. They more than deserved it. It would feel unfair to take them out in the first round when they were so talented. They had to get through. Woojin was sitting at number 75, well outside the elimination mark. He had put so much into the performance. He didn't want him to leave yet. He had a hell of lot more talent than trainees above him, Jisung included. Yoon Yongbin was at 73. Choi Junyoung was at 98. Byun Hyunmin was at 70. 

He'd forgotten how many trainees would be eliminated. Forty sounded like an abstract concept, a number he couldn't put faces to. But when he realised how many people actually sat outside the elimination mark, it suddenly seemed like far too many. So many of them would never get to make an impact at all. So many would be forgotten. 

BoA announced the voting would start. It was short. 5 seconds. 5 seconds to determine their future. To see if they got another chance or not. It felt wrong. To have their whole careers decided by five seconds. It all but started and then it was over. 

Then they were walking off stage again, like men marching to the gallows. Jisung heard his name yelled again and his heart hammered against his chest like it was trying to escape. He wanted to hold onto that yell, to lock it away and listen to it whenever he felt down. It reminded him that people were rooting for him. That people did love him. That he was worth it, that he'd been acknowledged. And he needed it now, when his fate was about to determined by the very people yelling his name. 

Hoolim was rubbing his shoulders as his vision blurred, words of comfort that he couldn't quite make out being whispered in a fond tone. He might've been crying. He hoped not. He didn't want to. Not here. Not in front of everyone. Not when he was the one meant to be giving comfort, instead of receiving it.

They sat down on the blue seats in front of the screen. His heart was pounding. He could barely breathe. Maybe they'd done it. Maybe they'd actually done it. It didn't seem that far out of the realm of possibility. The audience had loved them. They'd called his name. They'd thought they were good enough.

Then, so sudden, it made his heart stop, a ten appeared on the screen. The countdown had started. They would know soon. They would know if they stood a chance. 3000 points would be one team's. His hands slipped into the grasp of the teammates next to him. Their hands were wet with sweat. 

The countdown ended to reveal an empty grid, with their names. One gap in their side. One less member. They could still win. They had to. Teams with one less member had won last season. They had to win.

The first set of points appeared. Jisung's heart rose. Jaechan won. Second set. Hoolim won. Then Hyunwoo won the third set. It felt like he was in some sort of alternate universe where they were actually winning against the perfection of the other team. Three wins, one right after another. They might actually do it.

It was him next. The audience had yelled his name. Surely they'd vote for him? Please. They had to. He'd begged. He'd pleaded. He was centre. He'd given it everything he had. But doubt was a creature that thrived on desperation and he began to wonder if he'd misheard. 

Maybe they'd been yelling for someone else. Not him. He couldn't be the one they wanted. He looked at the rest of his team, faces filled with shock and hope and delight and he couldn't breathe. He couldn't let them down. Not when they needed his points to get through the elimination. Not after they'd gotten three wins in a row.

The numbers flashed up on screen.

66\. He'd gotten the most votes out of everyone on the team. He'd done it. Surely he'd done it. Surely he'd won it. He had to. 66 was the most out of everyone so far. He had to have won. He couldn't let the team down after they'd given him the most important position.

But the numbers were blue. And Hyunmin's votes read 100. 

Jisung couldn't breathe. 100. One fucking hundred. 66 seemed so tiny by comparison. He hadn't just lost, he'd been demolished. And Hyunmin hadn't even been centre. 

It felt like a stab in the back. The audience had yelled for him. But they hadn't even voted for him. His hands shook. He'd let his team down. He'd lost. He'd fucking lost. He shouldn't have been centre, he'd known he wasn't cut out for it and here was the proof. The company hadn't debuted him for a fucking reason. He'd been a fucking idiot to think otherwise. The 66 burned his eyes. He couldn't look but he couldn't tear his eyes away. 

They were still in the lead. He held onto that thought like a lifeline. They were still ahead. They could still win this. 

Then Hyeongseop scored 163 votes and Jisung felt his world crumble around him. How could any of them beat that? That extra member had been worth his weight in gold and Jisung had actually thought he wouldn't matter. He'd had the audacity to think it wouldn't matter and the universe had punished him for it. 

Taemin and Taewoo won the next two, pulling in 85 and 72 points each, but the loss seemed no less inevitable as a result. 163 points was impossible to beat. But even the expectation couldn't have prepared him for how close the final result was.

357 to 401 points. 4 votes. 4 people. 4 audience members had determined their fate. 

Jisung put his head in his hands. He'd done all the comical expressions. He'd danced so hard that he ached, he'd practiced so hard that he could probably do the entire routine in his sleep, he'd given it everything and he just felt worn to the bone. He was tired now. He was so tired. So tired of the world kicking him while he was down. He just wanted to win for once. He just wanted to know he was worth something for once. That he wasn't just the trainee horror story, too long a training period, too old to debut and forced to compete for any hope at finally being allowed to do what he loved. He'd been doing it so long he wasn't sure if he loved it anymore or if he just did it because it was familiar. 

The screen flicked back to give Team 2 to the three thousand points. It felt like a punch to the gut. 

Team 2 were in shock. Woojin was grinning from ear to ear, eyes massive. Eunki was laughing, staring at the screen. Taehyun ran his hand through his hair. Hyeongseop was being shaken by Yongbin and embraced by Junyoung. Hyunmin's mouth was half-way between a grin and gaping. 

That could've been them. It almost was them. 4 votes. Jaechan was doing his best to hold back tears, eyes red and biting his lip. Taewoo just looked tired. Like he'd expected it and had just been deceived into thinking they might get more. Hyeonwoo was talking but his words felt empty. His mask of joy kept slipping off to reveal the devastation underneath. Taemin was staring at the screen, as though it might change if he willed it hard enough. Hoolim's smile was forced. 

As they walked out of the room, Hoolim made a poor attempt to cheer them up. "At least we did our best. Next time, guys." 

No one replied. There might not be a next time. There probably wouldn't be for most of them. And very clearly, their best wasn't good enough.

They walked back to the room with the rest of the trainees in silence. They took their seats quietly. 

Jisung couldn't even find it in himself to talk to anyone. He still managed some funny reactions for the camera but he was too tired to do anything else. He barely even paid attention to the rest of the performances, even as the rest of the room was blowing up around him. 

He kept reviewing the performance in his mind, wondering what he could've done to get those 4 people to change their mind and vote for him. There had to be something. Maybe his expressions hadn't been funny enough. Maybe his singing wasn't polished enough. Maybe his moves weren't sharp enough. 

Something had to be wrong. He had to have messed it up somehow. Because if something was wrong, he could fix it. He could keep it in mind for next time. He could improve. It was something he could control. 

It couldn't be his best. That couldn't be his peak. The thought that his best wasn't even good enough to propel his team to victory shook him to his core. He did his best to push it away but the more he tried to ignore to more it clinged to his mind. He didn't want to be not good enough forever. He wanted to know that he could push further, that he could get better, that he did deserve a spot in the final eleven. He had to believe they hadn't voted for him not because he was bad but because he'd messed up. Because he'd made some dumb, easily correctable mistake. 

He spent much too long a time in his own mind, his dark thoughts burying themselves deep into his brain where it felt like he could never get rid of them, so deep he couldn't tell where they ended and he began. He didn't even notice Daniel leaving for his own team battle. 

Well, until the faded pink hair popped up on screen. His heart lifted and a smile spread across his face. Daniel had been right about one thing. That damn pink hair looked so dumb but it was really beginning to grow on him. He had a love/hate relationship with it at this stage. A love/hate relationship with fucking hair.

Daniel didn't start facing the audience but Jisung could feel the terror through the screen. He wasn't breathing. His hand was clenched so tightly that his knuckles were sheet white. He looked even paler on screen than he did in person. Even the music starting seemed to only ease his tension slightly.

Then Daniel's head snapped towards the audience and his entire demeanour changed. A cocky grin appeared and he looked relaxed, laid-back, as though he could take on the entire world and not even break a sweat. 

The dance began and Jisung's eyes couldn't leave Daniel. His breath was stolen from him. He'd forgotten how good Daniel could be when everything aligned and he was in the right headspace.

Daniel had been good at Nayana. That much had been obvious; it had raised him up to A level. But he'd never embodied like Lee Woojin or Park Jihoon or Lee Daehwi had. Nayana called for uniformity, lightness and for the most part, a generic idol image. None of those were necessarily bad but they just weren't Daniel's strength. He did fine in them but he never shone. Not to mention he was holding himself back, seeing as he was trying to hide the fact he was a vampire. 

Sorry, Sorry was a whole other beast. It required each member to have their own strengths, to stand out in their own way. And Daniel stood out with ease. And something positive seemed to have come out of Daniel's exposure as a vampire. He wasn't holding back anymore. At all. Not in the slightest. He was giving it everything he had and Daniel had a lot to give. 

His moves were sharp, his expressions quick and easy, each step overflowing with character and individuality like they'd all been crafted just for him. Daniel sometimes moved so quick it was hard to make out and his gaze was so piercing that it felt like he could see into Jisung's soul. He was attacking the dance with a laid-back aggression that sometimes got so intense that his eyes flashed red. He was so easily charismatic and eye-catching that Jisung was spellbound. Maybe all those trashy vampire romance novels talking about compulsion had been onto something. 

A hush had settled over the room while they performed, permeated only by explosive moments of cheers before everyone returned to staring at the screen, transfixed. Jisung couldn't stop smiling. The vampire thing might not even matter if Daniel was that good. How could the audience vote him out when he already looked like a debuted idol? He looked like he was already one of the final eleven.

The winner was obvious in that battle, even if they didn't get to find out until later. If Team 2 didn't win, it was rigged.

And judging by the expressions as they returned to the room, they had. Daniel's sunlit smile shone so bright it hurt to look at. Jisung met his gaze and Daniel shot him a thumbs-up. Now he just had to hope the audience had loved Daniel as much as he did.

It didn't take long to figure out why Daniel was smiling so brightly. Jisung had hoped for the audience to support him but he hadn't expected the outpouring of love Daniel had received from one performance. It was like he'd gone from relatively unknown in a single performance to beloved. A response as good as this was impossible. He'd hadn't even really considered it. It had been a dream. A distant, vague dream.

280 votes. 

Daniel had received 280 votes and combined with the 3000 extra votes, he sat at number one. The most voted-for trainee. Beating out Park Woodam, Park Jihoon, Ahn Hyeongseop and Kim Taedong. Jisung couldn't believe it. He'd hugged Daniel so tightly it hurt and wanted to get down on his hands and knees and thank every member of the audience personally. He hadn't thought it possible. And yet there it was, spelt out in front of him. 

Maybe the audience could love a vampire. Maybe all hope wasn't lost.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> First major divergence from the real Produce 101 in terms of the competition ;) I hope I managed to live up to your expectations with this chapter!  
> Also, if you're wondering why the audience voted for Daniel despite the fact he's a vampire, well it's because they don't yet. The episode wherein that revelation has been made hasn't come out. So he's in the clear, for the moment...


	13. XII

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Okay, I'm insanely grateful to how much the hits have surged up recently, so thank you so much, honestly. And here's the moment you've all been waiting for (well, at least I have), the elimination. Time to see if Daniel's win actually affected the rankings ;)

Mnet took delight in watching the mighty fall. 

And the eliminations allowed them to kill as many of the mighty as possible. Forty felt like too many for a first elimination. Almost half of them gone in one fell swoop.

The funny introductions felt frivolous. The smiles were fake. The attempts at humour only earned terrified laughter. 

Everyone's eyes were on the throne at the top. Daehwi gazed up at it with longing, Samuel determination, Bae Jinyoung with hopelessness and Jihoon ambivalence. 

Jisung couldn't stare directly at it. He had to look away. He still trembled when he looked at it. It was judging him. He knew what he was. He didn't need a chair to show him. He had no expectations anyway. 

Daniel met its gaze no problem and returned it. Jisung wished he could've done the same but Daniel was so far out of his level that he was in the stratosphere. 

Daniel noticed his stare and turned to him. Jisung slapped on a comical smile. "I'm about to shi -- die of fear."

Daniel rolled his eyes. "It's gonna be fine, hyung. How many places are you gonna fall anyway? You're in like 9th." 

Jisung didn't reply. A thought was taking form in the back of his mind, one he didn't even want to consider. 

Daniel slipped his hand into his and squeezed it, that sunlit smile alight. "We're gonna debut together, remember?" 

Jisung prayed he could keep that promise. 

BOA entered and the hum of chatter died down. The huge applause started up. A pretty smile graced her face as she waited for it to go quiet before talking. 

"Hello, trainees. I want to congratulate you on your group performances and an exciting episode with plenty of surprises." Her eyes darted to Daniel and her expression almost seemed to soften before returning to the neutral smile. 

"Sadly, the day you've all been dreading has come. Finally, it is time to reveal the decisions the national producers have made. There are currently, excluding three people, 98 trainees. Of those 98, 60th and upwards will survive. The rest will leave. " She paused. "There's been a total of 24,700,000 votes." 

A wave of whispers travelled through the trainees and the cameras raced to capture reactions. Jisung's hand shook in Daniel's grasp. 24 million votes. That was half the population of Korea. Season One could hardly even compare. Would the 3000 votes even matter? 

"Compared to last week's ranking announcement there's been several surprising changes. Now, we'll begin the 1st elimination." 

Jisung couldn't breathe. How big a change? How far had those at the top fallen? Who had leapt up? Had he fallen? Worse, had Daniel fallen? Daniel's hand didn't even tremble. He didn't dare look at his expression.

"The difference between 60th and 61st was determined by a very small difference in votes. Therefore, 60th and 61st will be announced last."

Jisung's stomach plummeted. Those 3000 points meant everything now. They would be the difference between moving forward and being forgotten. 

"We'll start with 59th." 

Daniel's hand had begun shaking. It was so slight that Jisung barely noticed it. He squeezed it but he wasn't sure who he was reassuring, himself or Daniel. 

The pause went on forever. BOA's eyes roamed the room, holding for a few seconds on each trainee as though she was reading their minds and seeing their deepest insecurities. The sound of his own breathing mirrored an oncoming train, preparing to crush him before he had a chance to run. The throne looked like it was a thousand feet in the air as it stared down at all of them, daring those brave enough to meet its wicked gaze to hope. 

"Unfortunately, this individial trainee has fallen but still holds onto his position inside the top 60. Of the 24 million votes, he has received 100,142." 

His heart stopped. 100,000 already. They were at 100,000 already. That was the same amount Cho Shiyoon had gotten in the first elimination of Season One and she'd sat at 27th. Most of the girls in Season One would've been eliminated. How the hell could he hope that more than 100,000 people had voted for him? 

"Individual trainee, Kim..." 

The three Kim trainees tensed, horror splashed across their faces. Any of them could've fallen. The question was, how much of the audience had abandoned them? 

"Sangbin." 

Kim Sangbin stood up, shaking so badly Jisung thought his knees would give out. He smiled weakly and walked towards the stage. He was safe now, but he was in danger for the next round. But at least he had another round. Jeong Joongji, who had the position of 59th before, looked like he was about to get sick. 

"Next, 58th. The next trainee has risen from below 59th to secure a place in the next round." 

The wait this time felt shorter. The atmosphere was still tense. Jisung's heart was hammering so loudly that he was fairly certain Daniel could hear it. One moving up meant someone moving down. It meant someone could've been pushed out. He was too far up, right? Surely no one could fall that far. There hadn't been a plummet like that in Season One. 

"The Vibe Label's..." 

Jisung hoped it was Jaechan. Jaechan more than deserved it. He'd been so defeated when he'd lost centre and all losing did was kill what little hope their team had. And losing centre was hard. One moment, he'd been the focus and the next he was in the background. And yet, he hadn't even held it against him. Maybe Jisung wanted Jaechan to get it to soothe his own guilt, for robbing centre from him.

"Yoon Jaechan." 

His heart soared. Jaechan had done it. He'd gotten through. The 3000 points didn't matter. Maybe the rest of the team stood a chance now. Maybe they could all get through. 

But all the positions were shifting. For every huge jump, someone was pushed out. Every miraculous climb put him more on edge. Park Woodam climbed 13 places. 68th to 54th. That meant someone was out. Someone who'd been safe last week had been eliminated. All he could do was hope it wasn't him. 

Kim Yongjin up to 52nd, from below the elimination cut-off. Hyunmin moved up 22 places, up to 51st. Ha Minho up from 63rd to 46th. The insane leap upwards of Seo Seonghyuk, up 45 fucking places from 95th. Jinwoo's massive 33 rank jump from 77th to 44th. Kim Donghan up from 78th to 36th.

As every one of the trainees expressed their deserved delight at being allowed a second chance, Jisung's knees felt weak. BOA hadn't be lying. The rankings had shifted a lot. It was like those puzzles Jisung had loved as a kid, where you slid the pieces around to form the picture, except this picture struck fear deep into his heart. All he could think about wasn't how fortunate the trainees who'd been saved were, but who had fallen as a result. Who had lost their once-thought secure positions in the top 60? Who had the audience punished? 

He glanced over at Daniel, hoping that it wasn't him. Jisung didn't want to get eliminated but it was nothing compared to the burning need to ensure Daniel debuted. 

Daniel met his eyes and once again, rolled his eyes, matching it with a smile. "Don't worry, hyung, you're safe. You're in the top eleven. You'll get through." 

"And what about you?" 

Daniel faltered for a moment but his grin persisted. "I'm too high up. No one's ever fallen 50 places." 

Jisung let the issue rest. He didn't mention the fact there'd never been vampire trainees on the show either. Or that never been a male version up until now. One season wasn't enough to look for patterns in. 

He killed the thought as quickly as possible, suffocating it before it could take hold. Daniel was going to get through. He was one of the most talented people here. The audience had loved him last night. He'd won the most votes out of any trainee. If anyone had a shot at winning, at beating the monopoly Jihoon held, it was Daniel. The throne thought he was worthy. Much more so than Jisung. 

The falls began to appear slowly. They weren't as dramatic as the rises. Instead of a massive leap, they were a slow creep, a few steps at a time downwards, further from the goal. A few steps at a time and frog wouldn't notice it was boiling until it was too late. A small step meant nothing, right? It was just a by-product of the huge rises. But when the margins were so close, a small step meant everything. 

Lee Insoo down from 47th to 52rd. Kim Namhyung down from 48th to 53rd. Jung Jung falling 7 ranks to 50th. Yeo Hwanung dropping 9 places from 39th. Kim Dongbin lowering from 25th to 32nd. And those were just the ones that were lucky enough to get through. 

Never anything major. Never anything radical. It was less of a drop and more of a stumble. But idols couldn't afford to stumble. Idols weren't allowed to stumble. And especially not when their careers were on the line. 

The higher they went, the longer it took to call out either of their names, the more anxious he felt. He knew he'd been in the top 11 and Daniel right outside it but his rational mind wasn't working. All he could think was what if he'd fallen? What if he'd fallen so far that he'd been eliminated? 

The lingering worry for Daniel was easy to dismiss. It was Daniel. He was so beloved that the audience voted him as the best trainee in the group battle. He wasn't going to fall. He was going to contend for number one position. He would be another one of those miraculous leaps. He couldn't fall. He wouldn't. If Jisung could will the universe to not let him fall, maybe he wouldn't. 

Even as his hands shook and mind swirled, he couldn't hold it against the trainees who'd made it through. Most of them had earned it. They were lucky the audience had finally noticed their talents. The disillusioned had a chance to hope. Those jumps were terrifying but promising. They were the trainees who'd been given a second chance, that the audience had suddenly noticed, the ones that had been ignored in the auditions and Nayana and had finally had their chance in the spotlight. 

He was especially glad that most trainees he'd (sort of) befriended (against his will) had made it through. Most of them were more than deserving. Park Woojin had moved out of elimination position last week and was pushing upwards, into 23rd. He'd clapped so loudly for him that it had hurt his hands.

Of his own team, Taemin and Taewoo had both scraped through, at 31st and 37th respectively. A grin spread across his face from ear to ear upon hearing their names. They'd done it. Even without the 3000 points. They'd managed to get through. 

He kept waiting for Hoolim and Hyeonwoo's names to be called out. The higher they went, the less likely it seemed like the two YGK+ trainees had made it through. His heart sunk. They'd had so much to show. They were two strongest trainees from their company and Hoolim was the best of their group, at B rank. Hoolim had had the potential to be a fantastic leader and Hyeonwoo an amazing singer. But no. The audience had ignored them. Pushed them to the side. 

Seeing Hyunbin get through made him much angrier that it should have. Hyunbin had worked as hard as everyone else. If anything, he'd worked harder. He was doing as much as everyone else, his best. But the fact the audience chose him, one of the weakest YGK+ trainees, made Jisung's blood boil. Hoolim and Hyeonwoo were both a thousand times more talented than him. They were both a thousand times more deserving than he was. But they were ignored. And Hyunbin was let through.

Lee Woojin got through. He placed 18th. Daniel's eyes lit up when he saw him but Woojin didn't so much as glance in his direction. He didn't mention him when BOA indirectly asked about him. He just pretended that his mentor of the past couple of weeks didn't exist. Daniel's grip on Jisung's hand loosened. His shoulders hunched. Jisung didn't dare look at his face. His heart was crushed enough as it was. If Lee Woojin ever doubted his actions or regretted them, he didn't express it. He just grinned brightly and continued on. 

The top eleven began with Bae Jinyoung. He all but stumbled up to his seat, staring down at the floor the entire time, even when he had his chance to thank the national producers. 

Neither of their names had been called yet. Daniel's freezing hand was clasping onto his so tightly it hurt but he didn't dare ask Daniel to loosen it. 

"Hyung?" Daniel whispered, his voice so quiet that Jisung almost missed it, "Does this mean we made it into the debuting positions?"

Jisung didn't want to be crushed by hope again. He didn't want to be let down again. He didn't want to be broken down over yet another failure. But Daniel's face looked so eager, his eyes alight and his puppy smile twisting Jisung's heart. So he was cruel to the both of them and allowed that hope to flourish. 

"The audience obviously wants me to win. And unfortunately, we're a package deal, so I'm bringing you with me." 

Daniel laughed way too hard, considering how shit the joke was. 

"Wait, why are you laughing, I'm serious!" Jisung said, eyes wide and indignant. 

Daniel grinned. "I'm so lucky that I get such a fantastic hyung who ensures that I debut." 

"Save your thanks for later, I'm just doing what I have too. I was given this burden and I must carry it, no matter how punishing it is that I must have such an ungrateful protégé." He stared into the distance, hand on his heart, pondering his great burden. 

Daniel gasped, but the smile still lingered. "You're ungrateful for having such a great protégé." 

Jisung turned back to Daniel. "Yeah, no, I have no idea you're my protégé when you're better than me. Maybe we should switch the roles." He did his best to bow in the chair. "Oh, take me as your apprentice, O Great Daniel of Kangs."

Daniel snickered but before he had a chance to reply, Jihoon leaned in from behind them. "You're stealing my screen time, stop being so funny." 

Jisung was ready to give out to the kid but he noticed the massive smile gracing his face. Oh. Jihoon had a sense of humour. 

Jisung fired a retort right back. "Maybe if you wink at the camera again, it'll focus on you."

Jihoon rolled his eyes and sat back as BOA announced the trainee in tenth place. Jisung wished he hadn't. He wished Daniel hadn't gone quiet either. His mind was a very scary place at the moment and he really wanted to be distracted. 

NU'EST's Minhyun came in at 10th. All the NU'EST members were, unsurprisingly, in high positions, with Baekho at 20th and Ren at 19th. A second chance at debuting was within reach for all of them. No thanks to their company's inability to manage them. 

Joo Haknyeon was ninth, one of the trainees who'd exploded after the Nayana performance, despite being in F level. He was fairly certain Daehwi knew him but Daehwi knew almost everyone. He'd only talked to the boy for a short period of time. He seemed nice, if a little deflated. Then again, every F level trainee had been. 

Lai Guanlin, the other Cube trainee, was eighth. He'd been one of the D level trainees to drop to F level. He seemed less annoying than Seonho, at least from his interactions with him at the dorm. For one of the younger trainees, he seemed surprisingly mature. Less of a cute concept and more of hip hop concept or something.

The final member of NU'EST, JR came in at seventh. How young he looked still unnerved Jisung. He felt a lot of older, in a similar way to Guanlin. More mature than his years reflected. Maybe it was just because Jisung was trying to find something to look up to in him, something to idolize, making him seem older than he really was. 

Daehwi was sixth. His shoulders slumped upon hearing his name and as he apologised for being "greedy" his voice came out pinched and wobbly. The smile never wavered but his eyes watered. He fell from second because the audience thought a kid playing smart and choosing the popular members was being greedy. If anyone had needed a reminder as to how cruel the national producers (guided along Mnet's editing, of course) could be, Daehwi served as the perfect example. 

Ahn Hyeongseop was fifth. The only Yuehua trainee not in D. But clearly, the ranks didn't matter anymore. There were several F trainees in the top eleven. He'd been the most popular member on the 10 out of 10 Team 2 as well. 

It felt too high now. They couldn't both be in the top four. He couldn't be in the top four. He didn't deserve it. His performance hadn't been that good. He hadn't even received the most points and he'd been centre. He hadn't been able to pull in the five extra points needed to push his team to a win. His eyes flitted to the 60th seat, still empty. How far might he have fallen? 

"What remains of the debuting positions are the top four," BOA said, her eyes twinkling, a grin tugging at her lips. She paused, letting her words soak in before moving on. "Now, I will announce the candidates for first place, who have a chance to contend for the highest position in Produce 101." 

He couldn't be in the running. He wasn't that good. His hand shook, even while Daniel was holding it still. The rest of his labelmates were looking at Daniel expectantly. He grinned at him. 

"Ready to go grab first place?" 

Daniel shook his head rapidly, his laugh nervous. "I'll be fourth at best. I'm not popular enough for first." He turned to meet Jisung's eyes, his puppy smile huge. "Are you ready to win the first round of Produce 101?" 

Jisung gave him a look. "I've never been first in anything. It's not gonna start now. We can both be fourth. Together. Friendship goals!" 

"I'll take one half of the seat, you take the other?" 

"Deal. But I don't want your fat butt taking up eighty percent of the seat." 

Daniel kicked him lightly in the shin. It still hurt, because Daniel forgot he was a fucking vampire, but at least his shin hadn't cracked. 

BOA finally continued. "Please reveal the first place candidates now." 

The two screen split into two, the top four's faces displayed on them. 

Jisung found his own face staring back at him. His heart swelled so to such a size it felt like it was about to burst as he struggled to wrap his head around the fact that the audience had loved enough to propel him into the top four. He couldn't believe what he was seeing, turning towards Daniel to express his euphoria, feeling drunk with happiness and disbelief. 

Then it all came crashing down. Daniel wasn't breathing. He'd let go of Jisung's hand. He looked back to the faces on the screen. He scanned through them. And his worst fear came to life. 

Daniel wasn't there. 

Daniel wasn't there. Daniel wasn't in the top eleven. Daniel, who had been the most beloved trainee after the group battle. Daniel with all his endless talent and Daniel who was A rank and Daniel who had been just outside the top eleven last week. Daniel wasn't there. 

Daniel didn't say anything. He turned to Jisung with the biggest smile on his face, even as his eyes watered. "You did it. You got into the top four. I knew you would, you dumbass." He punched him so lightly on the shoulder that Jisung barely even felt it. "Go win it for me, old man." 

Jisung couldn't think. He couldn't speak. He wanted to say something to comfort Daniel but he still hadn't quite absorbed what had just happened. He didn't deserve a position in the top four. Daniel did. There'd been some sort of mistake. There had to be.

He whipped his head around, expecting the screen to change, to show Daniel's face instead of his own. It stayed the same.

His heart was beating so loudly in his ears that he couldn't even hear BOA speak. He didn't want it to be him. He wanted it to be Daniel. He needed it to be Daniel. Daniel deserved it. Daniel was the trainee he only ever dreamed of being. He looked at Daniel, desperate to tell him that he was sorry, to apologise for something, anything, even if he wasn't quite sure what.

"They were never going to vote for a..." Daniel swallowed, his Adam's apple bobbing. "A leech, hyung." His massive, cheesy grin returned. "Go win it for me."

Jisung thought that he heard BOA call a name but she sounded like she was underwater. It was all background noise, static on a TV screen. If it was his name, he didn't give a shit. Daniel was meant to be there, not him. He didn't give a shit if it was his last chance. He didn't care. Daniel was worth a hundred of him. He would force the audience to see that, somehow. He didn't give a shit how. Daniel should've been in the running for first, not old, mediocre, ugly him. 

He could live with his own failure, but he couldn't live with Daniel's. 

Daniel's acceptance of it made him angrier than he could put into words. Why wasn't he screaming? Why wasn't he crying foul? Why had he given up so easily? Why was he sitting back and letting it be? He should've been angry, he should've said that something wrong, he should've done something, he should've - 

Daniel grabbed his hand and met his gaze, obsidian fire burning in his eyes. "Jisung. I've got a thousand years to get this right. You don't. Get into the final eleven for me, please, and stop worrying about me all the time." 

Jisung just nodded, the static beginning to clear up. He was going to need to be in the right headspace if he had to make a speech to the audience. He couldn't mess up his thanks, as undeserved as his position was. 

Seongwoo had taken the fourth place seat. BOA was after moving onto the trainee in third place. 

"This trainee, according to the official website spent five years and three months training." 

That had to be him. He wasn't going to get any higher than third. And third was already pushing it. Second and first were beyond his reach. The chair still glared down at him.

Five years and three months and they'd done barely anything. He was still a D rank trainee. He was still beaten by trainees with training periods of a less than a year. He was still just as useless as those with barely any training at all. Had it all been a waste? It was beginning to feel like it. Like all the money his parents had thrown at his non-existent career never paid off. 

Samuel and Jihoon were glancing at each other and at him, as though they could see the length of the others' training periods printed on their faces. Jisung hoped it was him. 3rd already felt too high, considering he hadn't even brought his team to victory. Considering he'd only earned 66 votes. Not much point in being an idol if he was loved only because he was funny. You couldn't crack jokes in the middle of a performance. 

"The trainee that took 844,829 votes," BOA continued. 

His jaw hung open. They were well past Season One. How had so many more people tuned in for this season?

Jisung felt torn. He wanted to be loved. He wanted the numbers to be proof that he was worth it. That the company had been wrong for not debuting him. That he could be loved. That he was just as good as the rest, that the five years of training had paid off, that he wasn't just the horror story to warn other trainees of overstaying their welcome. 

But it felt wrong. It felt wrong that he, with all his lack of talent and visuals and youth, was so much higher than those more deserving. That Daniel might be eliminated when he was one of the best trainees Jisung had ever seen, while he stepped up to claim a position that never should've been his. That he should dare come that close to the top when he didn't deserve it. 

"MMO trainee, Yoon Jisung." 

He'd expected it but that didn't soften the blow. BoA's voice saying his name reverberated in his ears, like a broken record. The rest of his labelmates were patting him on the back, bright grins surrounding him. His knees felt weak. He stood up, his mind still so far behind that he had no idea what had just happened. He began walking to the stage mechanically, unsure of what he was doing or where he was going. 

He wasn't even aware of Daniel pulling him into a bone-crushing hug until his face was already in Daniel's chest. He was freezing, as always, but he felt especially cold then, those soft icy arms clasping onto him so tightly that he never thought he'd be let go. Jisung couldn't bring himself to pull away. He wrapped his hands around Daniel and held on tight. He was afraid to let go. It might be the last time he'd see Daniel for months. 

But he had to let go. And a sob burst from his chest as he did so, even as Daniel smiled wide enough for the two of them. 

"You deserve it more than anyone else I can think of, hyung," Daniel said, eyes shining with a strange combination of pride and longing.

Jisung wanted to hand third place to him. He shuffled up to the stage instead, strangling the sobs threatening to push themselves out of his chest as best he could.

He was hugging someone warm next, a flash of blond hair and tan skin hinting that it was Samuel. He didn't bother to check. 

He had a microphone in his hands. He had no idea where from. BOA was talking. He couldn't think. Daniel was still beaming from the seats. He heard laughter. 

The sobs kept trying to fight their way out of him. He swallowed each one. He couldn't cry. Not here. Not in front of everyone. He didn't even deserve to cry. He didn't deserve this position. He didn't. Couldn't cry. 

BOA said something. Her eyes were on him. Speech. Speech. He couldn't think. He lifted the microphone. He could feel all the eyes on him. Saw the cameras. Speech. 

"I-I... I." He couldn't think. He swallowed. Start again. He wanted to say something important. But what? Generic. Generic first. Give himself time.

"I want to thank everyone who voted for me." 

Paused. Couldn't think. Old. Dreams. Vampire. Daniel. Old. Hope.

"At my age, I'd given up hope of debut. I thought the company was just planning to dump me after a few years. I thought that my chances of being an idol where gone. But... But..." 

Second chance. Produce 101. Audience. Second chance. Mnet. Dreams. 

"But Produce 101 gave me a second chance. You gave me a second chance. I was able to hope that I -- I was actually achieve my one dream. To everyone who's watching and hesitating for some reason on achieving their dream. I -- I want to inspire to pursue it and fight for it." 

Met Daniel's eyes. Breathe. Fight sob. Just a little more. Just a little. Undeserved. Thanks.

"I'm not sure if I deserve this position but I'll do my best to work hard and prove that I do. Thank you."

Bowed deeply. Shuffled up to his seat. Heart hammering. Couldn't think. 

Breathe. In. Out. In. Out. 

His mind slowly began to clear as Samuel and Jihoon were brought up to the stage. He was so high up. He gripped onto the hand rests as though he relied on them to prevent him from falling all the way down. He met Seongwoo's gaze from below him, a bright, comforting smile on his face and giving him a cheesy thumbs up. He tried to return it. He didn't know if he succeeded. 

He didn't bother looking at Samuel and Jihoon. His eyes instead wandered back to Daniel, as always. His heart plummeted upon seeing him. He'd thought that he was fine -- no, hoped that Daniel would be alright. He'd even told Jisung he was okay. Jisung shouldn't have believed him. Daniel was far too good at lying when it came to his own emotions. 

Between slumped shoulders and a crumpled expression, it was obvious to anyone that Daniel was devastated. He'd come first in the last challenge after all, he should've been higher. He should've been in the running. Jisung wished he wasn't in third again. He wished he could trade. He'd gladly forfeit his position so that Daniel could get another shot. 

Daniel noticed his gaze and that mask lifted again, grin brighter than a thousand suns and falser than a mirage. Jisung smiled back, his smile just as wide and just as fake. 

Jihoon came first. No one was surprised. He'd had a three week winning streak. He seemed to have cemented his position already, winning against any challenger who dared to think they could take his spot. Samuel's disappointment was diluted by the lack of surprise they all felt. They took their seats.

Jisung tried to push his resentment and disappointment aside to congratulate the two. Granted, he felt happier for Samuel than he did Jihoon but then again, he actually knew Samuel. Jihoon was just the vampire wannabe. A funny vampire wannabe, but a vampire wannabe nonetheless. He couldn't help but wonder if he'd still wanted to be a vampire after this. 

He looked over to Samuel, to go give his congratulations but Samuel was occupied with something else. He was trying to mouth something to Jisung, but Jisung was shit at lip-reading so he had no idea what Samuel was trying to say. 

Samuel gave up quickly and just nodded in the direction of Daniel and pointed at the 60th seat, holding up one finger.

Just one spot left. 

One chance. If Daniel didn't get this, he was going home. The national producers had made their stance on vampires clear.

BOA began speaking again. "The positions from the 59th seat to the 1st place winner, as voted for by the Nation's Producers, have no been revealed. All that remains is the single spot for 60th place."

Jisung stared down at the vacant 60th chair, praying Daniel would get a second chance. That enough people had voted for him to inch through.

Someone had to have voted for him. He had to have received some support. How many vampires were there in South Korea? There had to be a few thousand, at the bare minimum. Surely some of them had to have voted for him. Please. He had to have enough votes to inch into the final 60. To inch past the elimination mark. 

"The four candidates for the position of 60th place will appear on the screens." 

Jisung didn't dare take his eyes on the screens. His breaths came out in sharp gasps, his hands shook. Daniel had to be one of the four. He had to have some faith in the audience, that they'd overlooked his vampirism, that they'd loved him still, that they'd seen his talent anyway. Daniel had to be one of the four.

"Please reveal it now."

Jisung ignored the other three, searching desperately for Daniel's face amongst the four, his heart racing and his stomach twisting itself into thousands of knots. He had to be there. He didn't know what he'd do if he wasn't. The elimination had already taken so much out of him and he felt worn to the bone, so much so that he wasn't even sure if he'd have it in him to respond to Daniel not being on the screens. 

But he didn't have to consider what would happen. Because on one of the screens, Daniel's surprised face stared out at them. Jisung wanted to collapse in relief, to breathe again, to be allowed to rest for a single moment but Daniel was just in the running. He hadn't won. He couldn't let himself rest until Daniel was safe from elimination. Not until he knew for sure that Daniel was through.

"Independent trainee, Choi Dongha, The Vibe Label, Sung Hyeonwoo, 2ABLE Company, Joo Wontak and MMO Entertainment, Kang Daniel. Who will be the one to take the final seat?" 

Daniel sat gaping up at the screens as though he expected them to change. Jisung didn't want the hope Daniel had only just regained to be robbed from him before he had a chance to taste its bittersweet tang. He wanted the moment of surprise and joy to last forever. And he wanted the next moment to rush on. He hated the tension, the suspense, the sense that hoping might just lead to disappointment. It felt cruel, to offer the trainees a chance to hope only to pull it from three of them within seconds. 

"The trainee who will progress to the next round will now be revealed on the screen." 

The entire room collectively held their breath, eyes on the 60th chair. The seat with the most hopes residing on it. So far from first it looked like the two were in different universes.

"Please reveal the trainee now." 

A series of gasps erupted from the trainees, their heads whipping around to gaze at the winner, eyes huge and mouths hanging open. The eye of the storm had passed and they were back in the murderous winds. Besides the obvious surprise, the trainees were cycling through hundreds upon thousands of emotions, between longing, jealously, disgust, hatred, confusion and reverence. Jisung couldn't hope to keep track of all of them, especially not when his focus on the screens. 

"The 60th trainee, who received 99,994 votes is MMO Entertainment's Kang Daniel."

Jisung's face broke into a grin. He was half-tempted to punch the air. He knew it. He'd known Daniel was too good for the audience to abandon. And he may have hung on by a thread but it was sure as hell better than being eliminated. Daniel had a second chance. Daniel was able to move on. Daniel was able to show the audience more. He was able to move onto the next round. They'd let him through. They'd given him that chance Jisung had begged for. 

Daniel didn't react at first, eyes glued to the screen, still not breathing. Jaehan and Taewoong were slamming him on the back, giant grins on their faces even as disappointment lurked behind their eyes. Seongwoo, below him, had glanced back at Jisung, his smile so genuine it made Jisung's heart to ache to look at it. Samuel let out one of his surprised American, "Oh my God!"s. 

Daniel stumbled up to the stage, his hands trembling so badly he could barely grip the microphone. BOA continued speaking, even as her eyes flitted continuously to Daniel. 

"Thanks to his team's victory in the Sorry, Sorry stage, he has managed to avoid elimination. One of the only two vampire trainees, he was the most voted for trainee in the group battle." 

The flinch was so sudden that Jisung's heart almost stopped. It wasn't subtle either. BOA's ambiguous expression turned to one of worry, even as she finished off the sentence. Daniel pretended he hadn't flinched at all. BOA's smile returned, if a little dimmer than it had been previously. 

The trembling microphone rose up to Daniel's lips. He still wasn't breathing. The seconds of silence ticked by. Daniel opened his mouth. He closed it again. Open. Close. Over and over and over, his chest not so much as rising once.

The trainees who had been eliminated and even those who hadn't were staring at him, some with confusion, some with sympathy, and far far too many with something akin to hatred or disgust, like an expression reserved for an animal that had just shit on your favourite pair of shoes. Jisung hoped he would speak soon. He wished that Daniel had spoken sooner. Maybe then the faces of revulsion wouldn't keep twisting into caricatures of themselves, the emotions growing more and more intense. 

Finally, much too late, when Jisung had had too much time to take every one of those disgusted faces, Daniel's voice rang out, low and watery, microphone held close to him. 

"I, um, I want to thank the national producers for voting for me..." He trailed off, swallowing audibly. "Despite what... I am. Um. Despite being a lee --vampire." 

A pause. Daniel put his fist to his mouth, face scrunching up and he took his first breath in a long time, a sharp, shuddering inhale. His eyes watered. 

Jisung prayed he wouldn't cry. The audience would hate him more than they already did. They didn't need to be reminded of his otherness, the fact that he wasn't human, the fact that he was one of the creatures the news talked about, that killed and slaughtered without mercy, fed on little boys who weren't careful. They didn't need to be confronted with what he was. They didn't need to realise he wasn't one of them. Crying would only too readily provide that. They'd already punished him by forcing down to 60th when he deserved so much more. He didn't want Daniel to be eliminated in the next round. 

It seemed like his hopes would for once come true. Daniel took another deep breath and the tears didn't come. His heart surged as he gave into the ecstasy of hope, the belief he might actually be able to avoid Daniel being pushed back further by an audience that hated him. 

But then Daniel opened his mouth and the dam burst. It started off with just one tear, which Daniel quickly wiped away. He pushed on in his speech. 

"I, uh, I didn't think I'd get through. I - I thought that, uh, when I turned, that that was the end to my idol career. And I'd been training - " 

A sob burst from Daniel's chest, more crimson tears rolling down his cheeks, too many to hide. He didn't even try to wipe them away. He just kept speaking, like his life depended on it.

"I'd been training for two years by then and it had felt like forever, even if it really wasn't, and I thought I was never going to debut. And then I got turned and I thought that that was it. I'd wanted to go on Produce 101 so badly but I couldn't see why a-anyone would want to vote for a vampire. I almost gave up. But, um, thanks to my labelmates and my company, I managed to get in anyway." 

The tears were flooding out now, thick and heavy streams of blood. Every sentence was punctuated with a sob. Daniel had certainly gone over the time limit. No one tried to stop him from continuing. 

"And thanks to the national producers, I managed to get through the first round, even though I -- I was n--not human anymore. Even though I was, um, a vampire. I thought no one would vote for me." 

He managed a watery smile in between the bloody tears. His eyes were locked on the camera, even while he shook like a leaf, even as every coughing sob caused his body to shudder involuntarily.

"But, I'd thought wrong. You gave me the second chance I didn't think I'd ever get. You gave me an opportunity to debut when I thought I'd lost my only one. So I want to sincerely, deeply thank everyone who voted for me. I'll do my best not to make you regret your decision in the next round." 

He fell into a deep bow before stumbling over to his seat in 60th. His knees wobbled like jelly as he collapsed into the chair, staring into his hands, his body still shaking with sobs. 

Jisung could barely take his eyes off him. Any of the confidence he'd gained as a result of winning the most points in the group battle had vanished into the air, as though it had never been there in the first place. The air felt heavier, more solemn now, without any chatter, as though everyone was taking in what had been said. 

But very few trainees expressions had changed. Those staring at Daniel with disgust only looked more disgusted and those looking at him with sympathy only looked more sympathetic. He hoped the general public were more open than the trainees. Otherwise, Daniel would never be able to get in to the next round. He would just be a horror story about why vampires shouldn't be idols.


	14. XIII

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Kind of a break from all the Produce stuff :)   
> A depressing break but a break nonetheless

The revelation of Daniel as a vampire changed everything. Jisung had just been too busy to notice. Or maybe he'd ignored it, pretending everything was alright when it wasn't. 

Either way, he remained basked in that blissful ignorance until after Daniel hadn't shown up to lunch one day. Hands shaking, trying to restrain his panic and racing mind as best he could, he immediately went on the hunt for him but no one seemed to have any idea where he was. Daehwi shrugged in response to his questions, Woojin smiled apologetically and Samuel just shook his head. 

His heart was hammering at a million miles a minute and all he could see in his mind's eyes were the worst case scenarios -- hunters had killed Daniel, he'd gotten captured or something, his sire had returned to kill him off -- and they were unlikely and crazy and irrational and he knew it but he couldn't stop them.

Those thoughts seemed to grow wilder and crazier the longer it took to find him. They'd almost suffocated him with their weight by the time he stumbled upon the dorm. The door was closed and Seongwoo stood outside, an unusually serious expression on his face. 

His stomach had dropped. He moved towards the dorm, doing his best to pretend like he wasn't nearly as worried as he actually felt. The smile on his lips felt strained.

Seongwoo smiled back at him but the expression was uneasy. "Uh, Daniel's asked that no one come in. Not even roommates. Um. He won't say why." 

Jisung tried to keep his voice steady. "I was just worried. If he was okay. He wasn't at lunch." 

"Yeah, he's been here the whole time. He's probably fine. Just probably traumatised over what happened a few days ago." 

That didn't sit quite right with him. "He was there yesterday."

Seongwoo shrugged. "Maybe it only got to him now. Sometimes takes a few days for stuff to sink in. Y'know?" 

Jisung nodded. "Yeah. I assume it's nothing?" 

A pause. "I don't know." Seongwoo hesitated before continuing. "I'd assume so." 

Another nod. His eyes lingered on the ground and he didn't reply for a while. "Am I allowed in?"

Seongwoo took a deep breath and didn't reply for a while. "I don't know. Daniel didn't exactly make exception."

Jisung tried not to let that get to him. "For anyone?" 

"No one. Not even the other vampire. I mean, that'd mean revealing his identity to me. I'm not great with secrets, to be honest." 

"Same, really. Wish I was better." 

"You kept Daniel's," Seongwoo said quietly, "Better than he himself did." 

"Yeah. I guess I did." 

The conversation lulled. Jisung's stomach twisted, his eyes on the door behind Seongwoo. 

His voice came out as a whisper. "Please." 

"I don't know, Jisung. It could be something serious." 

"I know. That's what I'm scared of."

Another long pause. 

Jisung broke it. "Has anyone else come by?"

"Jonghyun, from NU'EST, but he was asking about Baekho, and uh, one of the staff members. She was looking for someone else's dorm though." 

"Seongwoo, please, let me in," Jisung said, a pleading tone slipping into his voice, "I don't Daniel to deal with whatever he's dealing with alone." 

Seongwoo chewed on his lip, his gaze falling to the ground. His eyes darted to and fro and he let out a deep sigh. He stepped aside. "Only because I think you'll do more good than harm."

He couldn't put his gratitude into words. All he could do was smile broadly and whisper a thanks before slipping in. He hoped it was all okay. He hoped it was just Daniel processing the events of the last few days. He hoped it wasn't anything to be concerned about. He wanted it to be something small and insignificant, something he could dismiss with a few words and a hug. 

But as he met Seongwoo's eyes as he stepped into the dorm, he saw in them what he himself felt. They both knew it wasn't anything small. Or minor. Daniel wouldn't stay inside in his room, refusing to let anyone, even his roommates, in for no reason. He wouldn't do it over something that could be rid of with a few words and hug. 

But as he stepped inside the room, he couldn't have imagined the sight of the clumsy, hand-painted letters in the deep crimson of blood spelling out the word 'leech'. 

Daniel was sitting in front of it, his head in his hands, so small, so silent that Jisung initially thought that room was empty. His head whipped around when Jisung opened the door, eyes flashing crimson and lips twisted into a snarl before he collapsed back into an exhausted, tiny position.

"What the fuck," Jisung said, his words all but falling out of his mouth, "What dick hated you so much that they broke into your room to vandalize it with fucking blood? We have to tell the staff, they'll rewind the footage and find out and then they'll get kicked off the show." 

Daniel just let out a deep sigh. "There's no point." 

Jisung blinked several times, trying to absorb what Daniel had just said. "Daniel, someone all but threatened you. In blood." 

"In the blood I bought. They wasted an entire bag. And besides, how did they threaten me? They just told the truth. I'm a leech." 

"Daniel, don't s-" 

"I really don't want to talk about it. They did it, it's done, we can't do shit about it," Daniel snapped, eyes flashing crimson again, "It doesn't bother me. It's just a word. It's only a word. Fuck, I've said it. More times than I can count. It's just a word." 

Jisung knew Daniel like the back of his hand. And he knew when Daniel was lying. He didn't make it difficult. Daniel's hands were trembling, even as his voice was strong. But he was afraid of pushing Daniel too far. He was already on the brink, even if he was trying to act otherwise. 

He pushed anyway, emotions surging up and muddying everything. 

"Yeah, yeah, you have said more times than you can count and you've seen how people respond to it. It's not just a word to them, so why's it just a word to you?" 

Daniel's eyes were cut into slits, even as his face scrunched up. "It's just a fucking word, okay? I just want to clean it up, so ask Seongwoo if he's got wipes or something, it's just annoying me that someone would waste all that blood like that." 

"Now you're being fucking stupid," Jisung snapped back, fury simmering like a volcano about to erupt and he hated himself for it. He was meant to be the eldest, to be the mature one, who had control over his emotions and knew better than to snap and give out and yell. He was meant to be patient and calm and understanding and he couldn't even get that right. 

"It's a word, Jisung, you're the one being an idiot, it doesn't mean anything," Daniel said, speaking through clenched teeth,"It's just like fuck or something, it doesn't mean anything." 

"Wow, even when it hurts you, your head is too far up your own ass to realise that maybe it's a fucked up word." 

"Maybe because I know that it's only a word, it doesn't mean shit. Besides, it's not like anyone means anything by it, it's only offensive to people who are too soft. Words only have power if you let them. Let's just move on and clean it up. There has to be tissues or wipes or some shit here somewhere." 

"I swear to God, how determined are you to make yourself feel better just because you used it?"

Daniel turned away from him and began to tear the room apart in search of cleaning materials. 

"Yeah, you said some shitty things in the past. A lot of shitty things. So fucking acknowledge it! It's not that hard, just admit you fucked up and make sure you don't do it again!" 

Daniel was searching violently at this stage, throwing things all over the room with reckless abandon. His jaw was clenched to tightly Jisung thought it would break. He didn't even bother replying. 

"Daniel, stop acting like an ass and just admit you fucked up and let's move on. Stop pretending like it doesn't hurt just because you're trying to prove something yourself!" 

Still no reply. The room was quickly turning into something that resembled a bomb site while Daniel kept to that determined silence. 

"Wow, now you're giving me the silent treatment. Is this because you're can't admit I'm fucking right? Or is it because you're trying to pretend like 'it's just a word'? Daniel, fucking talk to me, we can't sort this shit out if you don't say anything!" 

Daniel flung the things he was holding to the ground with all his strength, and the noise produced was so loud that Jisung was sure the floor was dented. He all but screamed at Jisung.

"What do you want me to say?! That it makes me feel like shit?! That I feel disgusting and wrong when I look at it and I can't help it, I didn't even get to choose this for fuck's sake! That I wanted to cry when I saw it but I can't even do that right?! That I can't admit it's more than a word because that means that means that I made people feel the same way?! And I did it again and again and again! And people told me to stop and I fucking ignored them because it's just a fucking word and it doesn't mean shit! Because if it's not, then I'm the shitbag, and I was the dick and I can't deal with that right now, not now when I already feel shitty enough as it is! I just can't" -- his voice cracked -- "I just don't wanna be the shitbag. I just don't want to think I made other people feel the same way because I was too much of an asshole to acknowledge that I was using a really fucked-up word."

Daniel crumpled to the floor, his head in his hands, his chest heaving. A heavy silence fell. 

Jisung had no reply. Somehow, strangely, he felt like it was his fault. He should've spoken up, he should've said something, should've pushed Daniel harder when he kept saying it. He'd kept silent in the name of friendship when he should've been the first to call it out. 

Neither of them spoke for a long time. Daniel coughed and hiccupped, his breaths long and shuddering, his body shaking with violent tearless sobs, each one stabbing Jisung in the heart. Jisung wished he could do more, he could say more, wished he actually knew what to say to Daniel to make it all better, that he could just say a word or two and that would do it all. But Jisung was dumb and useless and had no idea what to say and so he sat there, silent and pointless, rubbing circles in Daniel's back. 

When Daniel finally spoke, it was in a hushed voice. "Ha Minho called me a le -- y'know. It was dumb, he was mad that he wasn't allowed to put a rap in Sorry, Sorry and giving out stink. And, uh, it kind of just slipped out. I think. I don't know. I mean... if it did slip out, it would make him a better person than me, right? At least he didn't use casually or deliberately or anything." 

Jisung's stomach felt like it was turning inside out. How could he have not said anything? For ages? He'd just let it be. Just brushed it off like it meant nothing, just because he'd thought he'd offend Daniel. Or Daniel would just ignore it and it wouldn't matter. Bile rose in his throat. 

"Uh, Seokhoon gave out to him immediately. I guess he kind of shouldn't have. It wasn't really a big deal. I mean, I didn't want it to be. If it was, that was admitting I was in the wrong. So I just kind of acted like it meant nothing, when I felt like shit. Doesn't matter what I do anyway. He'll just see me as a lee -- as a vampire who came in and wrecked his chances of success."

Daniel's skin was stretched thin over his knuckles. Jisung didn't dare interrupt him. 

"I just... I just didn't think it'd hurt this much. I mean, I -- I can't help drinking blood. That alone doesn't make me similar to a leech, right? I mean, if I could eat other food, I would but I just can't, I didn't get a choice in the ma --" 

"Daniel," Jisung said, his voice barely above a whisper, "It's a slur. You're not meant to make sense of it." 

Daniel fell silent, his eyes drifting back to the crimson letters on the wall, looming over them an approaching thunderstorm. 

"I suppose I kind of deserve it," he mumbled, "All of this. Sure, I didn't hunt any vampires, I wasn't as bad as my dad but... I wasn't exactly a saint either. It's only fair that someone throws the word I was so fond of back in my face. It's like my own personal form of punishment. The universe's big 'fuck you'." A wry smile spread across his face. "It's nothing if not spectacular." 

Jisung's stomach twisted itself into knots. "If you deserve it, I should probably be punished in some way too. I didn't exactly try to stop you. I just let it happen. I didn't even say anything. Maybe if I'd..." 

He didn't know what he would've said, would've done. It hardly mattered. He'd let it get to this point in some ways. Even so, he almost expected Daniel to say something to comfort him, to reassure him it wasn't just his fault. Daniel said nothing.

Instead that wry smile faded from his face and he fell back into that curled up position and slumped posture.

"I'm just so tired, hyung." 

"Of what?" Jisung asked, even though he had a feeling he knew what Daniel was referring to.

"All of it. Everything. I'm tired of being a vampire. I was tired of all the hiding and now I'm tired of all the looks and side-eyes I get. I'm tired of people avoiding me. I'm tired of everyone treating me differently. I'm tired of wondering if one of my old friends will spot me on TV and come and kill me. I almost wish it would just end. I don't want to think about it anymore. I don't want to deal with it anymore. I can't find the energy to care. I just want everything to go back to the way it was, before all of this."

Jisung hesitated before asking but went ahead and asked anyway. Maybe against his better judgement. It came as a low whisper.

"Do you hate being a vampire that much?" 

Daniel fell silent. Emotions flitted through his face at rapid speed. His brows creased and then relaxed and then creased again. He chewed on his lip. He didn't reply for several moments. 

"I don't know." 

If Jisung had being expecting an answer, that hadn't been it. He waited for Daniel to expand on it. He didn't. There was another lull in the conversation. 

His hand had dropped from Daniel's back at this stage. He finally turned his gaze onto him, surprised at how up-close he was to him. It was almost unnerving. He hadn't been so close to him since Daniel was human. And certainly not close enough to take in every detail of his face, every pore and imperfection and tiny scar. He'd never seen a vampire so up close before. The TV screen never managed to capture all the details, no matter how close it was. 

The TV missed a lot. Jisung had never seen skin so perfect before. It was like all of the blemishes that had once been scattered across Daniel's face, that marked him as real and flawed and tangible, had vanished. The freckle under his left eye, the scar behind his ear and the remnants of acne on his cheekbone were all gone. He looked like he was carved from marble. His pores were barely even visible. His washed-out complexion was more obvious from so close. He was very clearly dead, or at least looked like he was on the verge of it. It was strange line vampires straddled, between looking deathly and perfect. It was hypnotic to study, trying to figure out how they encompassed the two so easily. 

Then Daniel turned and met his gaze, dark eyes unreadable, brows pulled low over them. Jisung moved back. 

"Sorry," he mumbled. He wasn't even sure if Daniel heard it. 

Daniel just shrugged. He changed topic. "Woojin apologised." 

Jisung's eyebrows raised. With how staunchly the kid had refused to to acknowledge Daniel's existence, he'd expected the one-sided feud between them to go on for much longer. He also thought that Daniel would've been to reach out. 

All he said in reply was, "Really?" 

Daniel nodded. His eyes were locked on the ground. "Yeah. I didn't expect it. I thought he was much too mad at me." 

"Did you forgive him?" 

Those dark eyes met his. "Yeah. Probably shouldn't have. But yeah, I let him apologise. I apologised too." He let out a bitter laugh. "I don't know what for because he literally blew up at me for what I was. I didn't do shit. I just wanted it over with though." 

Jisung was about to ask if Woojin was going to be hanging around them or he was still going to stay away and act like the little brat he was. But Daniel wasn't finished. He spoke first.

"I don't if it was for real though or just the cameras. I don't know if it even matters. I just wanted it over with."

That made Jisung's mind race more than it should've. He didn't want to confront it though. He let it lie, lingering above his head like a bad omen. He stood up. 

"I'll grab some cleaning supplies."


	15. XIV

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Round 3, guys! We have moved onto the position evaluation!!!

The Position Evaluation was a little less stressful than the group battle. 

A little because Produce 101 was never a stress-free environment, no matter how much Mnet tried to depict it otherwise. But at least now they all got to choose their positions. And play to their strengths. No more complicated dance routines if they didn't want it. No more risk of being put into a singing position if you were a rapper or vice versa. A chance to show the audience that you were talented too. 

Well. Not for everyone. Mnet couldn't play fair. And there wasn't enough positions for everyone to get what they wanted. So they forced those at the bottom to strive even harder to push upwards. Which meant Daniel choosing last.

And to make everything worse, the team co-operation that had been so vital in the first round had been killed. Now they were all competing against each other, in hopes of getting 10,000 points and slipping through. And they weren't even able to see who was on their team. Who they were competing against. They just had to hope they were lucky and managed to get onto a relatively bad team. 

10,000 points. At this stage, he wasn't even shocked. Considering how much of a lead Jihoon had had in the last round, 10,000 wouldn't even make a dent. It didn't matter that the votes had been cleared. The second round would probably bring more votes. And more giant gaps, impossible to cross. 

But the overall 100,000 might. It could launch the lower trainees out of the new elimination position. Push someone new into first. Slip someone into the top eleven. A 100,000 seemed so big that it felt fake. Surely Mnet wasn't going to encourage that big of a change. Surely they wouldn't take that much power out of the audience's hands. But they were. And the trainees were salivating at the thought of winning that 100,000. 

Jisung would've been lying if he said he didn't want it. He wanted to make sure he was safe, that he didn't lose his position in the top eleven. He wanted the audience to say he was talented and to hand over the 100,000 as a sign of that talent.

But he couldn't see himself actually wining it. The team battle had killed the hope he'd once had that he was actually talented and actually able to be an idol. If he could only get 66 points as centre, the main focus, why would he be able to win it here, against much better singers? His vocal abilities had once been his source of pride but Produce 101 had reduced even that to a source of doubt. 

He just needed to avoid elimination and stay in the top eleven. If he fell out, he didn't know if he'd get back in again. Maybe the audience would realise that he was just the funny one and see that Mnet planned on dumping him by the time they got to the last round -- if he even made it that far -- and went and voted for more deserving trainees. Or at least trainees that Mnet preferred. The ones that they wanted. 

But they were cutting another twenty-five trainees. Twenty-five. Forty hadn't even hit him yet. He forgot that so many were gone, until he turned to look for Hoolim or Taewoong and realised they were gone. 

Daniel needed to move up quickly. He only had three weeks to push up into thirty-fifth. It had taken him only one week to plummet forty-eight places and Mnet made falling so much easier than rising. Daniel would have to blow the position evaluation out of the park if he even wanted to stand a chance. 

The options were revealed. Jisung only bothered looking at the vocal ones. Five options. He immediately eliminated the ones he didn't know well, Amazing Kiss and If It Was You. He wanted to have some knowledge of the song, rather than going in blind. Playing With Fire was too upbeat for him. He didn't want to be locked into the funny image, not when he had a chance to move away from it. And it lacked any particularly impressive vocal moments. Spring Day had a lot of impressive vocals, but also would require a lot of changing to get rid of the rap parts. And despite the impressive vocals, there were several places were his voice wouldn't sound flattering. And he couldn't bank on getting the parts that he would sound good at. 

That left Downpour. It had the advantage of being an IOI song, so maybe he could appeal to the audience that way? A lot of the viewers were probably the ones who'd watched the first season, so they'd probably appreciate a reference to the previous group. And he got to shift his image. He didn't have to focus on over-the-top expressions. He didn't have to try to be funny. He got to be upset and dismal and depressing and he had a chance to show he was a good vocalist and that he wasn't just a one-trick pony.

Or he failed completely at being mournful and the audience and Mnet would push him harder into the funny guy box. 

Jihoon was first to choose. He looked confident, his pretty smile wide, eyes focused on the task ahead. He strode up to the entrance but right before stepping in, he glanced back, a quick, furtive thing, eyes brimming with determination and dread. It lasted a few seconds. He walked inside. 

It was only a few minutes before Kim Samuel followed. He didn't look back. He lacked any of Jihoon's apprehension, instead almost racing forward. Then again, he was like fifteen.

He was next. His stomach did backflip after backflip, bile pushing its way up his throat. He had no idea why. He had no reason to be nervous. He had unlimited choice. He held the advantage of being one of the first to pick. He walked in with the biggest grin on his face. Maybe the backflips were actually butterflies and he was just excited. But that didn't even sound convincing to himself.

He glanced back before stepping in, his eyes meeting Daniel's chalk white face, his breathing so slow it seemed non-existent. Daniel noticed Jisung's gaze and his mask appeared, a giant grin lighting up his entire face. He gave him a thumbs-up. Jisung returned it with a half-hearted smile back. 

He stepped inside. He grabbed Downpour so quickly that he almost knocked it off the table, his heart hammering, as though he thought someone would steal it. 

Clutching it close to his chest, he walked into the main chamber. Vocals were empty. He wasn't surprised. Both Jihoon and Samuel were dance-focused, not vocal-focused. His eyes darted over to the two and a laugh burst out of his chest, catching himself and the others off guard.

"How'd you both end up in the same group, when you literally had like thirteen other options?" 

Samuel let out a sigh and Jihoon just shrugged. Samuel glared in the other trainee's direction, as though it was somehow Jihoon's fault.

"Bad luck," Jihoon said, his lips twisting in a wry smile for just a moment before returning to the default pretty expression. 

"At least it'll be a cool stage?" Jisung suggested, smiling as he stepped into his line. 

Samuel let out a grunt. Jisung had literally no idea what that meant, so he just nodded. 

Seongwoo flounced in then, interrupting the riveting conversation they'd been having. He was hiding his choice. His eyes went really massive, in a way that only his could, and a wicked grin split his face. He skipped over to the dance positions, Samuel and Jihoon's expression getting more and more worried the closer he came. 

Seongwoo's body blocked his line of view and he couldn't quite see what happened next but the groan from Samuel and the hand Jihoon put to his forehead said it all. 

"Get Ugly?" Seongwoo said.

"Noooo," Samuel whined, "We can't all be in Get Ugly. Someone, quick, switch. They won't notice." 

Jisung leaned on his knees, the force of his laughter causing him to double over. He managed to force out a sentence between gasps for air and bursts a laughter. "Oh my god, what if Hyeongseop chooses Get Ugly too?" 

"Don't say that you'll jinx it!" Samuel said, his voice somewhere between watery and hissing. 

Hyeongseop chose Get Ugly as well. 

Samuel looked about ready to throw himself off a building, Seongwoo looked much too delighted considering he now had much more intense competition and Jihoon had simply accepted his fate, smiling tiredly at the newest member of their group.

"Wow!" Hyeongseop said, the most disheartened 'wow' Jisung had ever heard, so loudly that he was certain the other trainees had heard them and his knees gave out from under him. 

"Welcome to the team!" Seongwoo said between fits of giggles.

Hyeongseop turned back to the entrance. "Can I change?"

Samuel was ready to join in with getting out of the 'impossible-to-win-in' group. "If so, I'm joining you." 

Hyeongseop clearly realised that no, he was not able to change, he let out a mad burst of laughter, terror pouring off him waves and joined the line, shaking like a leaf. 

Daehwi was next in. 

"I swear, if he chooses Get Ugly, I'm going to shoot him," Samuel said. 

"I'll get the gun," Jihoon muttered, still smiling as though he was a spy trying to throw off the scent. 

"Who's gonna do the honours?" Samuel said, eyes on the entrance. 

Daehwi walked in, eyes narrowed. "Were you guys talking about killing me?" 

Identical unconvincing smiles appeared on the top two trainees faces. 

Seongwoo swooped in to save the day. "Only if you chose Get Ugly." 

"Daehwi, please come join me in vocals," Jisung whined, doing his best pout, "I'm so lonely." 

Daehwi's face twisted into an expression of pure disgust. "Please don't do aegyo ever again. Maybe leave that to me and Jihoon." 

Jisung gasped, the biggest, most exaggerated gasp he could manage. "What, why can't I be cute? Look, look I can be cute!" He put on the brightest, cutest smile he could manage and raised his hands above his head in a love heart shape. "I love you!" 

Daehwi dragged his hands down his face. "Jisung nooo," he said, dragging out the 'o' for as long as possible. 

Well until Samuel yelled at him. "Daehwi, get into your g -- some group that isn't Get Ugly and discuss Jisung not being cute there!" 

Daehwi mouth fell open. "I'm older than you, you're not allowed to talk to me like that!" 

Samuel kicked the two next to him. 

Seongwoo and Jihoon glanced at each other, looking like they desperately wanted to say nothing and just leave Samuel to his fate. 

Jihoon let out a sigh and shook his head. "Daehwi, just get in your line."

Daehwi grumbled and groaned but did as he was told, muttering something about abuse and corrupt power structures while he walked into his line. 

JR came after Daehwi. He stared pretty blatantly at the Get Ugly group, who were all smiling desperately. 

"Please don't choose this group," Samuel said weakly.

"Noooo! the more the merrier!" Seongwoo said, and Jisung couldn't tell if his smile was pained or delighted.

"I'm sorry to let Seongwoo down, but I didn't choose dance," JR said, looking genuinely apologetic, walking over to the rap section. 

Seongwoo put his hand over his heart and fell to the floor in a dramatic death scene. 

JR turned away slowly, looking like he questioning his life decisions up to that point. "I'm just gonna get in line." 

Lai Guanlin followed JR to the rap section and into the same group, which he looked like he regretted from the moment he stepped into the entrance. He kept glancing over at the other choices for rap, the edges of his mouth tipped downwards in the smallest frown Jisung had ever seen.

Joo Haknyeon walked into the dance section, much to the dread of the Get Ugly group but instead went in the Right Round. The Get Ugly group collectively let out a sigh of relief. 

Minhyun, unfortunately, came into his group. 

When Minhyun walked in his direction Jisung's jaw dropped. 

"Nooo," Jisung said, pulling the most exaggerated expression of anguish possible, "Please go to a different group. I want to have a chance at winning." 

Minhyun just laughed awkwardly. He smiled sheepishly, shrugging as he stepped into line after Jisung. "Sorry." 

Jinyoung went to Spring Day. Jung Sewoon joined Daehwi in Playing with Fire, much to Daehwi's visible horror. Jisung didn't blame him. He wouldn't like to be up against Sewoon in a vocal battle either. Moonbok went, obviously, to rap, joining JR in Fear. Seonho flounced over to Spring Day and immediately began his non-stop chatter. Jinyoung looked like he regretted his choice. Then Jaehwan entered. 

Jisung held his breath. If he had to avoid any trainee, it would be Jaehwan. He, alongside Sewoon and Woodam, was one of the best vocalists in the entire competition. He would win instantly. There were be no competition. A glance back at Minhyun showed that he shared the same dread. He hoped and prayed and begged that Jaehwan wouldn't join their group. Minhyun was difficult enough opponent. He didn't need another. 

Naturally, that meant Jaehwan joined their group. 

Jaehwan grinning broadly as he walked over and Jisung fell to his knees. 

"Please please please please please please please, choose a different group. I'm begging you, look I'm even my knees. I'll give you anything. I'll give you my oldest child. I can't win against both of you," he said, in the most dramatic pleading scene ever put to reality TV. Jisung was pretty proud of it. He was even kind of crying, grovelling on the floor, all the fun stuff. 

Jaehwan let out the most ridiculous and annoying laugh Jisung had ever heard. He had literally nothing against the guy -- okay that was debatable -- but wow, the laugh made him want to plug his ears. "Sorry. But at least you get keep your oldest child?" 

And then he got into line behind them. Jisung said goodbye to the 10,000 points. 

Lee Euiwoong went to rap. Lee Woojin went to vocal. Thankfully, not to his group because he wasn't sure if he could deal with the kid. Daniel may have forgiven him, but he hadn't. Ren and Baekho took the final two spots of Playing With Fire. 

When Daehwi saw Baekho walking towards him, the blood left his face. His hands were shaking, eyes the size of dinner plates and he gulped really loudly. 

"A-are you coming into my group?" The entire sentence trembled.

Baekho's smile was somewhere between absolutely terrifying and wickedly mischevious. "Is this the line?" 

Daehwi just nodded, looking like he was about to cry. His tiny Adam's apple bobbed rapidly. Ren was sniggering from the end of the line, his grin even more wicked than Baekho's. 

Baekho just patted Daehwi on the shoulder and got into line. Daehwi's legs wobbled so badly that Jisung was afraid he'd collapse. The light pats looked like they'd bring him crashing to the floor. 

Sungwoon went with Downpour because of course he did. All the excellent vocalists were just flocking to him. Maybe he was a talent magnet. Pity he couldn't actually gain talent from hanging around with talented people. He didn't bother begging with Sungwoon. He just sighed deeply and accepted his fate as the loser.

The final addition to their group was... unexpected. Hyunbin. Jisung squinted at him as he rushed over, after faking out that he was going to go rap, trying to figure if he was actually going to try and sing. The entire line stared at the YGK+ trainee, open-mouthed. Even Minhyun's jaw was hanging open, eyes wide open with shock. Jisung's mind was going at a million miles an hour, trying to figure out what the hell had just happened. At least he probably wasn't going to come last anymore.

More and more options began to close, and quickly. Kim Taedong followed Park Woojin to close off the impossible-to-win-in group that was Get Ugly. Kim Donghyun completed the rap trio for Boys and Girls. Kim Sungri finished off If It Was You. Ha Minho claimed the final spot in I'm Not The Person You Used To Know. Lee Youjin took the final place in the entire rap section. Zhu Zhengting filled up Shape of You and Kim Yongjin did the same thing for Spring Day. 

And then, finally, after Yoo Hoeseung took the very final place in Right Round, there were no more options left. The remaining five went straight to Pop. 

Which meant Daniel got to do his speciality. Which meant Daniel still had a chance. Maybe it wasn't the song he wanted but at least he got a chance to show off his dance skills. At least he had chance to shine. And in a group almost entirely made up of non-dancers, Daniel would almost certainly win. He had to. He would. There couldn't be any other outcome. 

Jisung wanted to be happy about it. He wanted to feel over the moon, to jump for joy, to punch to his fist in the air and feel as though he'd won. But when Woodam broke down into tears, burying his face into the nearest trainere's chest, it didn't feel much like a victory. Lee Kiwon looked utterly defeated, his face in his hands, deathly still. Jaechan stared blankly into the distance, smiling emptily whenever someone glanced over at him with a worried look. Not even Daniel, who should've been delighted with the fact he was definitely going to win, looked particularly upbeat. He kept glancing at the Get Ugly team, whenever he thought no one was looking and the longing was clear in those dark eyes. 

Jisung looked away quickly. 

He barely even had time to focus on it anyway, because they immediately moved away into their groups to discuss. It lingered in the back of his head anyway, even as he did his best to ignore it. He had to focus on himself for the moment. Just for a little bit. Then he could go check on Daniel. 

He started with the obvious question. "Who wants to be leader? I mean, I think that's sort of important." 

Minhyun nodded rapidly, looking around at the other members, looking surprisingly like a puppy.

No one volunteered. An awkward silence lingered for the barest of moments as Minhyun's head twisted back and forth between the rest of the group members. 

Jaehwan spoke up before the silence could take hold. And well, volunteered someone else. "Sungwoon-hyung?" 

Sungwoon's face fell. He glanced down at the floor, a tight smile appearing on his face, looking very forced. Well. That answered that question. 

Then Sungwoon replied with the one thing Jisung had least expected to hear. "Uh, I mean, hyung, you seem pretty multi-talented, I'm sure you could lead us." 

Everyone's heads swiveled to look at him, like something out of a horror movie. 

"Huh?" Jisung choked out, not quite believing his ears. 

"And you are the eldest...," Sungwoon continued, eyes locked on him. 

"Uh, my body may be old but my mind is still stuck at like four." 

Minhyun let out a sound somewhere between a snort and a giggle. Jisung had no idea how he managed it. 

Jaehwan looked like he was pretty impressed with the suggestion. "I think Sungwoon's got a point." 

"What part? I'm multi-talented or I'm old?" 

Jaehwan, thankfully, didn't laugh, sparing Jisung's ears for the time being and just rolled his eyes, smiling. "You know what I mean." 

Before he had a chance to reply, Minhyun spoke. "What do you think, hyung?" 

They were all looking at him expectantly. "Okay, you can stop staring intensely whenever, you're giving me the hibbly-jibblies." 

Hyunbin and Minhyun averted their gaze immediately, followed soon by Jaehwan but Sungwoon was slower to look away. His eyes were pleading with him. He really didn't want to be leader again. 

But that only made Jisung not want to be leader. It must have sucked if Sungwoon had been leader once and was already sick of it. He didn't know if he was ready for such a position of responsibility. He'd already failed as centre, he didn't want to fail as leader too. And as important as centre was, it was nothing compared to the leader position. If anything went wrong, it would be his fault. With any member. He was responsible for all of them, not just himself. He had no idea how Hoolim had done it. Not to mention, he'd have to spend quite a while teaching Hyunbin. And some his unjustified anger at him still remained, at the back of his mind. 

But he just smiled and slammed the floor with one fist. "What the hell, I'll go for it. I'll try to lead you insanely talented people." 

Sungwoon's body sagged with relief and he beamed at Jisung. Jisung did his best to return it. 

He turned his gaze to the rest of the group. "Anyway, moving on, now for the fun part. Main vocal?" 

"Wait, wait," Jaehwan said, his high-pitched giggles bursting through his words, "We gotta do an official ceremony." 

Jisung leaned forward, almost sure he'd misheard. "A what?" 

Sungwoon interrupted. "We gotta officially hand you the sticker. Like we hum and you kneel and all that." 

Jisung didn't know how to respond to that. "Uh..." 

Minhyun was on board, because of course he was. "Come on, it'll be fun." 

Hyunbin had even looked up, excitement gleaming in his eyes. 

"Kids nowadays. Always going on about their ceremonies." Jisung sighed deeply, dramatically, as though he was being forced to undertake a great burden. "Fine, if I must." 

Jaehwan laughed his annoying laugh and Sungwoon pulled the sticker out of nowhere. Jisung got on one knee, holding his head high and his back as straight as a ruler, like he was being knighted. Minhyun and Hyunbin started the melody, humming as loudly as they could and sounding pretty badly off tune. Maybe that was just Hyunbin. 

Sungwoon placed the sticker gently on Jisung's chest and rubbed it to make sure it stayed there. Their eyes met and Sungwoon mouthed, 'Thank you,' so quickly that Jisung almost missed it. He just smiled awkwardly. 

Jisung stood up and cleared his throat as the others retreated back to their positions, addressing the entire room. "I would like to thank - " 

"Okay, ceremony's done let's move on," Sungwoon cut him off.

Jisung collapsed the floor, grasping at his heart, chest heaving. "How could you do this to me? I spent all night preparing that speech! It was my moment. And you stole it from me!" 

Jaehwan laughed that annoying laugh before Minhyun was kind enough to interrupt him. 

"I didn't know you were a vocalist, hyung."

Jisung's cheeks burned. He didn't know how to take that. Especially when it came from the Minhyun of NU'EST. "Uh, I'm not great but I'm fairly decent at the parts I get." 

It felt strange to devalue his pride and joy, one of the main reasons he'd become an idol, like that. He knew it would probably come across better but he wanted to have confidence in his voice like Jaehwan and Sungwoon did. They were good and they were able to say they were good. Jisung couldn't say he was good to a group of vocalists who were all infinitely better than him. Two of them had already debuted and the last had won a talent show thanks to his voice. How could his singing ability compare to theirs? 

"Moving on, part three, let's choose the main vocal and not focus on me being a vocalist. So who wants to be main vocal?" 

The entire group looked towards Sungwoon and Jaehwan. 

"Well, I mean that settles it. Which one of you wants to be main vocal?" 

The two looked at each other and began to discuss rapidly amongst themselves, singing bits and pieces of the song as they did so. Jisung probably should've said something but they looked like they were doing fine. No need for intervention or anything.

He took the opportunity to check on Daniel. Actually being able to talk to him would've been nice but he doubted he'd be allowed to. Instead, he had to settle for watching him from afar, like a parent in a playground. 

Daniel looked tired. And very stressed. He kept shaking his head, scribbling down notes and then crossing them out, earphones in his ears, an L sticker and a crown sticker plastered clumsily on his chest. The rest of the group watched and waited silently. Half of them were vocalists after all. They weren't going to be useful when it came to choreographing a dance. 

If Daniel could feel his gaze on him, he didn't acknowledge it. He ran his fingers through his tawny hair and leaned closer to the paper. Jisung wished he could do something. He could say something, tell a dumb joke or encourage him even just a little to try and get him to feel even a small bit better. Being centre and leader was not going to be easy. And he had to win over the audience again. He just hoped the round would be less hellish for Daniel than he thought it would be. 

Someone tapped his knee softly. He turned to meet Minhyun's empathetic gaze, his smile small and gentle and pretty. 

"He'll be fine. Vampires are more than capable of taking care of themselves." 

Jisung just nodded, feeling like Daniel wouldn't be fine at all. Sure, maybe older vampires, but Daniel wasn't a particularly old vampire. And he had no sire. All he could see in his mind's eye was all those times Daniel had broken down, how devastated and confused he'd looked last night, how hurt he'd looked when Woojin had lashed out at him.

"Trust me. You can't be there for him all the time. You have to let him do his own thing. Let his sire deal with the parental stuff." 

"He doesn't have a sire," Jisung said, choking up and taking himself off guard in the process.

"Oh," was all that Minhyun said. Those soft, pretty eyes looked away. "Sorry. I assumed... Revenge turning?" 

Jisung nodded. 

A quiet, wry laugh escaped his lips. "Thought those had gone out of fashion." A pause. "But Jisung, you have to focus on our group. You're the leader, whether you like it or not. Leave Daniel be. He'll handle it. He's an adult." 

He relunctantly turned back to the group to see Jaehwan's eyes fixed on him, darting behind him every so often to look at Daniel. "You're a better person than me if you can hang out with them." 

Jisung stared at him, brows furrowed. "What?" 

Jaehwan shrugged. "Vampires just kind of give me the creeps. I mean, you saw how scary he looked when he had his fangs out and all that. Plus the thought that they could snap and decide to drink your blood at any moment..." He shuddered. 

Jisung bristled. "Daniel wouldn't hurt anyone. And he can't help the way he looks, he didn't exactly get to choose --" 

"Yeah," Jaehwan said quickly, "I get that. But he looked kind of hungry when he was glaring at Lee Woojin. I kind of expected him to eat him." 

Jisung clenched his jaw, about to fire back when he met Minhyun's eyes and he shook his head. Deflating, he just let it go, even as anger burned under his skin. 

He took a deep breath and looked around at the group. "So, have we decided on a main vocal?" 

Sungwoon answered. "Yeah, Jaehwan is main vocalist, I'll just support him in harmonies and stuff." 

He did his best to not meet Jaehwan's eyes, white-hot flames licking at his stomach. They couldn't afford to fight. It had happened last round and they'd lost. He couldn't let that happen again.

Instead he fixed his eyes on the sticker on Jaehwan's chest. "No crowning ceremony this time?" 

"Uh, that's only for the leader," Sungwoon said, the statement sounding a lot like a suggestion. 

Jisung narrowed his eyes at Sungwoon. "This sounds an awful lot like you're making it all up as you go." 

Sungwoon grinned. "That's the plan." 

Jisung wiped away an imaginary tear. "And I was so looking forward to the ceremony, I was preparing flowers and an airplanes and all this. All for nothing." 

"Sorry, hyung," Sungwoon said, not sounding very sorry at all. 

"Should we do line distribution?" Minhyun interrupted, which was probably for the best because Jisung could've talked about his pretend grief over the cancelled ceremony all day. 

Jisung nodded. "Yeah, let's move on, let's do the actual fun part. Singing time, boys. Let's do this." 

And that was where the problems began to arise. 

While it was ultimately competition against each other, the aim was to make it sound good. And while Jaehwan, Sungwoon and Minhyun were all insanely good singers and he himself was pretty good, Hyunbin was... not. Hyunbin wasn't a vocalist and there was a reason for it. 

A part of him didn't want to give any lines to the trainee but those thoughts were easily crushed when he saw his dejected Hyunbin was. He spent basically the whole time staring at the floor, fiddling with his sleeves, his fringe hiding his eyes. He seemed like he'd already given up and they hadn't even begun practicing. 

Jisung tried to give him lines. He really did. He didn't want Hyunbin to feel as though he was useless, like how he did much too often nowadays. Produce 101 had a way of getting to everyone, popular or no. Minhyun did his best to cheer Hyunbin up, even if it was just empty statements like saying he thought Hyunbin would sing this part well or he could speak-sing this line. But Hyunbin still didn't cheer up. He still stared at the floor and he still fiddled with his sleeves. 

Minhyun finally just got to the root of it. "Hyunbin, why did you choose vocals? You could've chosen the other two and not struggled as much." 

Hyunbin paused, his hands momentarily freezing. "I -- I -- I... I should've chosen rap. Then I could show some actual skills to the audience." 

"So, why didn't you?"

The only reply they received was a shrug. Hyunbin himself didn't even quite seem to understand why he chose it. 

There was a long pause, and just as Jisung was about to move on, to focus on dividing up the lines again, Hyunbin spoke. 

"I - I think I just wanted to show I was good at something other than... you know." A beat. "The things they keep insulting me about." 

Jisung hung his head. He stated at ground, swallowing loudly. This as his time to step up as leader, to comfort his team members, especially the youngest amongst them. Even if he did think Hyunbin was useless. He felt like shit for thinking that. Hyunbin wasn't useless. He was working as hard as the rest of them but he was working with far less training and coming from a modelling agency. What would a modelling agency know about being an idol? It was just luck they'd managed to grab Hoolim and Hyeonwoo. Hyunbin was just unlucky in that he struggled a lot more than the other two. 

Minhyun looked like he was going to say something but he managed to speak first. 

"I know this sounds cliche, but you can't let them get to you," he said, his voice sounding too serious even to his own ears, "We all get insults. Damn, some of them are pretty creative, I have to give them that. I can't count the amount of comments I've seen saying I'm ugly and old and the only reason I've gotten here is because I'm the producer's favourite and Mnet loves me, not out of any hard work or talent. And shi-- it hurts to think about them. I know I'm old, I know I'm not particularly attractive but some of them have a way of finding what you thought you were comfortable with and twisting it such a way that they're not comfortable anymore and they hurt so bad you wanna scream. But we can't let them hold us back. We can't let them win. They only hate us as a result of their miserable lives seen through their closed little minds. They want you to feel awful. You just have to do your best to smile and act like you can't hear them, even if they're the loudest people in the room, and work harder. All we can do is do our best. So even if you didn't want to sing, work as hard as you always do and do your best and you never know, you might surprise yourself. Even if you don't, just remember your best was good enough. You don't need to be perfect."

Hyunbin still stared at the ground but the hints of a smile were tugging at his mouth. 

He leaned over and reached out to rub Hyunbin's knee, smiling as widely as he possibly could. "Let's do this. Okay? Promise me we'll both do our best, no matter how terrible our singing might be." 

Hyunbin nodded and looked up, his smile so faint it was all but invisible. "I promise." 

"That's the spirit! Now, let's get back to dividing up these lines and making sure we have the best stage." 

Jisung felt eyes boring into the back of his head and turned to look behind him. He met Daniel's eyes, a soft smile on the vampire's face. Daniel gave a dumb thumbs up, so naturally Jisung returned it, just as dumb. He turned back to the group. 

All of four them seemed to be actually interacting now, not just three. Maybe he'd actually done a good job at comforting someone for once. Maybe next time he'd do a better job for Daniel. Maybe he could do this. Maybe he could actually be leader.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> My beta reader pointed this out but um I don't have anything against Jaehwan, I just want to portray a variety of opinions and unfortunately Jaehwan pulled the short end of the stick this chapter. I think his vocals are amazing and he's absolutely hilarious and totally deserved his place in the final eleven. But I do want to show that not everyone is okay with vampires, so sorry Jaehwan fans? 😅  
> Also I don't know if I got NU'EST right or not but I'm just passionately staring at that alternate universe tag, hoping it'll absolve me of my sins


	16. XV

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This is a short one and I apologise but I don't think I could lengthen the chapter if I tried soooo... Sorry? But hopefully you enjoy the chapter anyway ^-^

Hyunbin was more of a challenge that Jising had anticipated. Outside of him, everything else was going smoothly. Sungwoon, Minhyun and Jaehwan sang so beautifully that it made it his eyes well up and envy bubble in his chest. But the song always stumbled at Hyunbin's part, causing the beauty of the song to collapse entirely.

Jisung really really wanted to help Hyunbin. JR's determination began to make sense now. Hyunbin was a person that almost demanded guidance and comfort. But it was so hard. Frustration constantly bubbled beneath the surface and Jisung had no idea how he fought it back every time. It was just the same thing, over and over and over again. And no matter what, Hyunbin didn't seem to get it. 

It was a tune that spanned a few notes. It was easy. It should've been over and done with in no time. But no matter what he did, Hyunbin fumbled and forgot. Nothing seemed to work. How was he supposed to teach it Hyunbin when Hyunbin couldn't seem to learn? 

He'd wanted to check on Daniel, to make sure everything was going okay with the dance and that he wasn't being overwhelmed by everything being thrown at him once, between the unwilling reveal and massive drop, but he had no time. He spent almost every free second he had going over the song with Hyunbin. And still, he couldn't get it. 

There were times that Jisung wanted to give up and yell and scream at Hyunbin, to demand why he'd chosen vocals when he couldn't carry a simple tune. But then he saw the trainee's hands grasping the sheet music so tightly that his hands shook and his knuckles were chalk white and the tears welled up in his eyes every time he hit the wrong note and he held himself back. 

He had to remind himself constantly that as slow as it was, they were making progress. It didn't make the late nights and early mornings taken up by practice after practice any easier. 

It was pitch black outside when they finished with two days left to the performance and Hyunbin was getting there. At least, that was what Jisung told himself.

Hyunbin had already left for bed. Jisung was on the verge of collapse himself, doing his best to clean up the training room a little before he went to bed so that he wouldn't have to do in the morning. It was dumb and he should've just gone to sleep but Jisung was a dumb guy so he went ahead and did it anyway. 

That was when the door opened and another trainee stepped inside. 

"Oh, wrong room," JR said, laughing nervously and preparing to close the door. 

Jisung replied quickly, before JR had a chance to leave. He sort of wanted company that wasn't Hyunbin or his teammates right about now. 

"Don't worry about it. I'm just cleaning up. Um..." 

It was like JR read his mind. The younger trainee smiled. "Want some help?" 

Jisung wanted to just say yes but his mom had raised him with manners and he was definitely going to use them in front of one of his favourite idols. "Only if it's no bother to you. You probably wanted to practice for the evaluation. I don't want to pull you out of anything important." 

JR dismissed him with a wave of his hand, stepping into the room. "It's nothing too important." 

"Oh, okay, in that case, feel free to join me on clean up duty. You should be honoured, not many people get to do this with." 

JR grinned. "You do know we have people to clean things up? You shouldn't feel an obligation to do it." 

"I'm afraid someone left something here or something. It might up in the bin and boom a load of unnecessary drama and tears and all that," Jisung said, shrugging.

JR made a face that very clearly conveyed he hadn't thought of that. 

There was pause as the two focused on putting stuff away and sorting through the messes. JR broke it, after a little while. 

"Minhyun says you're a pretty good leader." 

Surprise flooded his veins but he tried not to show it and just grinned wickedly. "What, looking for a replacement?" 

JR smiled tightly. "No, unfortunately. I think the company might've liked you a fair bit better than me though." 

His brows furrowed but Jonghyun didn't elaborate. "Well, uh, thanks for the confidence boost." 

Jonghyun just nodded and smiled, a strange, awkward smile, leaving the silence settle again. This one wasn't broken so quickly. The rest of the time was spent cleaning up. Jonghyun went to stand up just as Jisung noticed something important underneath his foot. 

"Shit, Hyunbin left his earphones here again," he said, reaching out to pick them up, Jonghyun moving the slightest fraction back as he did so, "I keep telling him to keep an eye on them but he's a dumbass, I mean a loveable adorable dumbass, but a dumbass nonetheless, so this always..." 

That was when he noticed Jonghyun's skin. 

Jonghyun was extremely pale, almost sickly-looking, the kind of pale that made you wonder if Death was knocking on their door. Well, he would've looked deathly if not for how flawless his skin was. Jisung couldn't find a single blemish or imperfection on it. It was like looking at a Renaissance statue that had had life breathed into it. 

For a few moments, he couldn't speak. Words failed him as he tried to figure out what exactly he was looking at. And more importantly, what it meant. But then words slipped from his mouth, even as his brain was playing catch up.

"It's you," he said, his voice a hushed whisper. He had never even considered Jonghyun. He'd never thought one of the already debuted idols would be a vampire. It seemed like something out of a dream, too strange to be real. He couldn't tear his eyes away from Jonghyun's skin.

"It's me?" Jonghyun echoed, confusion lacing his tone.

His gaze rose to meet the other trainee's. "You're the other vampire." 

Jonghyun's face fell. He didn't say anything for a few moments and Jisung almost doubted himself, even though the evidence was right in front of his eyes. 

A bright smile crossed Jonghyun's face as he laughed nervously, shaking his head. "I think you've got it all mixed up, Pledis wouldn't hire a v--" 

"Your skin," he blurted out and immediately regretted it, with the bewildered expression Jonghyun was giving him.

He rushed to explain himself, cheeks burning. "It's, um, like Daniel's. Like all washed out and almost perfect at the same time, kind of, um, like a corpse but like a mannequin corpse?" His words barely made sense but Jisung couldn't find it in himself to explain more, with how much his head was spinning from the realisation. 

"Jisung, are you sure you've gotten enough rest?" Jonghyun said, tilting his head, concern flitting across his face, "You're not really making much sense --" 

"I won't tell anyone," Jisung said, his voice quiet, "I kept Daniel's secret, I can keep yours." 

There was a long pause before Jonghyun said anything and his voice came out like a whisper, shaky and low. "Are you sure?" 

He looked very, very small in that moment. He didn't look like a hundred year old vampire who managed to not only get into but lead a massively popular idol group. His smile was still wide but his eyes were brimming with terror, his mask shattered, any attempts to further deny the truth abandoned.

"Yeah," Jisung said quietly, nodding.

He still couldn't wrap his head around it, even with his clear admittance. Jonghyun was the vampire. Jonghyun had lived his life four times over. Jonghyun was the one that Daniel looked up to, the one that all the trainees whispered about, the one that Daehwi was trying so desperately to discover. Not some obscure trainee from a small company who'd had no choice but to take on a vampire trainee but JR, the leader and main dancer and rapper of NU'EST, who'd already debuted in one of the biggest boy group debuts of the early 2010s. The idol he'd looked up to and respected and hoped to one day emulate. 

Jonghyun nodded. His voice came out stronger, but his hands still trembled. "Thanks. If the backlash from Daniel was bad, mine would be a hundred times worse. Pledis, um... Pledis might kick me out." 

Jisung's eyebrows furrowed. "I thought it was illegal to fire someone because they're a vampire." 

Jonghun looked at him in a way that made him feel very young and very stupid all of a sudden. "No one enforces that law. The only ones they bother with are the ones that make us look shit. Besides it's only too easy to get around it. They'd just make up another reason, even if everyone'd know the real reason."

"Oh," Jisung whispered, staring down at his hands. 

Jonghyun glanced at him, a poor attempt at a smile crossing his face. "And... I don't think the audience would want to vote for me either. Um... I mean, I need this as much as everyone else. They'd be even less sympathetic towards me than they would be towards Daniel. Daniel has a sob story. Daniel can make the audience feel comfortable about liking him and hating vampires because the evil vampires made him that way and he never wanted it. He gets a pass. He's a vampire but not really, not in their eyes." 

Jisung's stomach lurched. Jonghyun's facade of calm barely disguised the fury blazing underneath. Jisung had never considered it in that way. A part of him wanted to fight on Daniel's behalf, point out that Daniel had suffered so much to get here, that he'd been pushed all the way down to 60th when he deserved so much more but he couldn't. 

A silence fell. Jonghyun put his head in his hands. His voice returned to the whisper. 

"Sorry. That was a really shitty thing for me to say. I'm just frustrated. I guess because I know they'd see me as messed-up for wanting to be vampire and not hating being one. The thought that being a vampire isn't awful is something they don't want to hear." The wry edge came back into his tone. "Doesn't make for good television." 

"I'd say I get it, but I don't," Jisung said, his smile feeling awfully forced. "It's fine. I think you're kinda justified in your frustration." 

Jonghyun's smile softened into a geniune one. "Thanks." He looked away from Jisung, staring into one of the walls. "Sorry, it came out all wrong." He sighed deeply, shaking his head, before turning to meet Jisung's eyes again. "I really didn't mean to try to make Daniel's situation seem like the better one, because yeah, I know I have it easier. I got to choose. And I've heard that revenge turnings are agonising. At least in comparison to a normal one." 

Jisung shrugged. "I don't know. I've only seen Daniel turn. I thought all turnings were that bad. And when I say that bad, I mean that Daniel was feverish for like two days and then began screaming when the last stages set in. I obviously have no idea painful it actually was because I'm not Daniel but it looked like hell."

Jonghyun's eyebrows disappeared into his hairline. "I didn't know it was that bad." 

Jisung blinked. "What's a normal turning like?" 

Jonghyun shrugged. "It still hurts. I mean, I can't really remember mine, it's been around a hundred years since I turned and unfortunately becoming a vampire doesn't actually improve your memory. I've kind of forgotten everything from that far back. I remember bits and pieces of my turning -- it felt sort of sore, I know that much, like a deep body ache. My sire said she put me to sleep for most of it, so I missed out on some of the more interesting parts. Turnings vary from sire to sire and person to person but all in all, mine was pretty forgettable."

The smile on his face felt sharp. "Well, even if I can't tell you much, I can tell this much -- Daniel's turning wasn't forgettable." 

He could still feel the burning heat from his vice-like grip on Daniel's hand, still hear the deathly rattle as his breathing slowed, still see his entire body flushed red, still smell the puke and sweat and body fluids and grime polluting the room. He remembered the turning more vividly than human Daniel, even though one had lasted much longer than the other. 

Jonghyun opened his mouth but Jisung cut across him, before he even had to chance to get the first syllable out. 

"If you're so curious, why not ask Daniel about it? He really looks up to you, he'd probably be fairly willing to talk about it. And he could tell you a whole lot more than I could." 

There was a silence. Jonghyun swallowed, his eyes on the floor. He took longer than Jisung expected to reply. 

"If it's as traumatic as you say it was, I don't really want him to relive the memories. He has enough on his mind as it is."

Jisung felt like kicking himself for not thinking of that. Daniel was still reluctant to in anyway refer to the turning. He hadn't even really settled into the whole vampire thing as it was. Reminding him of what had probably been the worst night of his life would not help him adjust or help him in anyway. He didn't want Daniel to suffer more than he already had. 

"Yeah," he replied weakly, letting the silence rise up and overwhelm them once more. 

Jonghyun glanced towards the door. Jisung's eyes went towards the clock instead. It was getting really late. He needed sleep, they both did. 

But he still had questions racing through his mind and he wasn't willing to let them lie. Just as Jonghyun looked like he was about to leave, he pushed them out of his mind and onto his tongue. 

"Does the rest of NU'EST know?" 

Jonghyun blinked, his eyebrows raising again. "Yeah, of course. I couldn't hide it from them." 

"But Minhyun and R--Minki are from Busan. How did you manage to okay it with them?" 

Jonghyun returned to his original position, moving away from the door. A soft smile graced his face. "You didn't listen to Hyeonwoo, huh? Not everyone from Busan's a hunter. It's a big place. Vampires, the very old, very crazy ones at least, live there too after all. It's like not everyone in Daegu's a vampire." 

That wasn't an answer. "Still. It's not like they were going to greet you with open arms." 

Jonghyun's smile dissipated. He chewed on his lip. Jisung wondered if he'd pushed too far, stumbled into something much more unpleasant than he'd anticipated. It took a while for Jonghyun to reply. 

"Minhyun didn't care. He's that kind of guy. You should know, he's on your team. Minki got pretty mad. He didn't want to talk to me for weeks. He felt betrayed, said that I'd been lying to him the entire time and that he'd had a right to know that he had chosen a... well, a leech, for a leader. That I'd manipulated them." 

The following silence hung in the air like a storm cloud over their heads and Jisung was prepared to change topic entirely but Jonghyun seemed determined to talk about it. He continued. 

"He came around. Eventually. I think he realised that sometimes the news wasn't always accurate and that a lot of the stuff they say about vampires is pretty sensationalized. Maybe he realised that I was still Jonghyun, vampire or no and that the revelation didn't change anything, only his perception of me.

"Dongho and Aaron were easier, obviously. Dongho, despite what Daehwi seems to think, is a softie underneath all the muscle. He's adorable when you get to know him. Daehwi being scared of him is kind of hilarious, because they're way more alike than the kid realises. Makes for some good entertainment though." 

The smile returned to Jonghyun's face for a few seconds before slipping away again. 

"He was okay with it right away. No questions asked, I was still leader and I was still a dumbass. Which was nicer than you think. Aaron's from the US, so everything's different there. They've had blood banks for at least thirty years, in comparison to here. It's easier to be a vampire there. There's more protections and less stigma. It's not great but it's better than Korea. So he was okay with it. I think he was the most comfortable with it. Dongho and Minhyun were pretty awkward around for the first few weeks but they got better as it went on. Honestly, I thought they'd hate me more." 

Jisung just nodded, unsure of what to say. He tried anyway. "Thanks," he whispered, "Uh, for answering everything. I won't tell anyone. It's not really my secret to tell anyway." He paused. "It's getting kind of late. We should probably head to bed. Only two days of rehearsal left and I don't want to be sleep-deprived for them." 

Jonghyun nodded, eyes darting towards the clock and made to leave. Just as he slipped out the door, he looked back, meeting Jisung's eyes. 

"Thank you. For listening. I haven't had anyone to talk about stuff like this. Daniel's not comfortable enough with what he is to discuss it. It's nice to be able to get it off my chest." 

Jisung nodded again, beaming as convincingly as he could. He just felt confused. He'd gotten much too much information in an short time. He was still trying to decipher it. 

Then the door shut and Jonghyun vanished, leaving Jisung in the room alone with nothing but the fragments of his worldview, trying to connect pieces that didn't quite seem to fit together.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> well. ta-daaaaa. surprised?


	17. XVI

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I didn't get much of a chance to focus on Jonghyun being a vampire in this chapter, but I hope you guys enjoy it anyway ^-^

The days before the position evaluation were nightmarish. Everyone's nerves were frazzled and even Jaehwan was messing up, missing high notes and forgetting the words. 

Jisung was too frustrated to attempt to make a joke out of it. Every tiny mistake felt like a possibility of them not winning overall and losing the chance at the 100,000 points. Even if they all knew Jaehwan was going to win them if they did manage to get that chance.

Everyone was beginning to get on each other's nerves, by this stage, even someone as calm as Minhyun. Jisung did his best to calm the arguments, even if he wanted to start some of them himself. He had to be a better leader than he was centre. He couldn't let another team down. He had to keep reminding himself of that when he felt an urge to go off on someone, to scream his head off. 

It was really hard to keep encouraging and keep the criticism civil. There were too many times when he just wanted to yell and scream and throw down the music sheets in frustration.

He really wanted to tell Hyunbin that he was a shit singer and he'd only ever been a shit singer and he should've just chosen rap and he was embarrassing himself here. He wanted to shout at Minhyun to stop coming in at the wrong time, to stop being confused or messing up because he was the one with the experience out of them, he should've known better than any of them, he'd actually been an idol for five years. He wanted scream at Jaehwan every time he hit wrong note because he was meant to be prodigy, the one with the perfect voice, the one who'd blown away the judges on the basis of just his amazing voice, the closest of them to an actual singer and not just an idol. He wanted to give out to Sungwoon every time he faltered or looked longingly at the main vocal part on the page, every time he hummed the main vocal on the page because he'd given it up and no one had forced him to do it but he was acting like he wanted to change, even at this late date. 

And try as he might to keep calm and quiet, to shut up when it was most necessary, he slipped up. A lot. He kept trying to act like everything was fine and to smile like he always did but the anger always built up and exploded outwards and he kept yelling at everyone over tiny mistakes. 

Jonghyun surely didn't have to yell at his members. He probably remained the paragon of a good leader, ever-supportive, encouraging, never so much as saying a bad word to any of them. 

Jisung wanted to be like that so badly but he couldn't. He just couldn't. His wall of enthuasiasm and humour kept crumbling under the weight of frustration and there seemed to be nothing he could do to stop it. 

He thought he was better at this. He thought he was better at hiding all of it. He was the eldest, he was the leader, he was meant to be the one helping others, handling other people's emotional outbursts, not having his own.

It didn't help that the comments, the whispers kept growing louder, becoming more common, about how he was old, how he was ugly, how he was untalented, wondering what was the point of him getting into the final eleven if he was going to have to go do military service soon, how his eyes were too small and he was too short, that he was only this high up because Mnet loved him and he had no talent outside of being funny -- 

And he knew he'd told Hyunbin to just ignore what they were saying but it was so hard. It was so hard not to listen when they were confirming what he already knew. Each one tapped into something, some hidden fear and expanded it, made it swell in his chest and pushed to the forefront of his mind and sometimes he couldn't help but feel they were true, like all his hopes of being loved by the audience were just the delusions of a man without hope.

That hopelessness only served to drive him deeper into frustration, because he had to prove them wrong now, to show he was talented, he could lead a team, he could claim a victory. His fear only ramped up as the day approached, threatening to swallow him whole. It had to be perfect. He couldn't afford to have it be anything less.

The hours seemed to drag in the leadup to lunch. Honestly, Jisung wanted to hold them back and keep working on it -- they had only a few days and it wasn't good enough, not even close, it had to be flawless and beautiful and heart-stopping -- but he was so exhausted that he didn't bother. They all needed a break, himself included. 

Unfortunately, lunch did little to ease the tension. 

He found his way over to their table and froze upon seeing who was sitting with them. 

Lee Woojin met his eyes and Jisung's jaw clenched. Any hopes of relaxing went out the window. The atmosphere weighed more than several barrels of concrete pressing down on him. The lack of proper conversation didn't help. 

He sat down beside Daniel, holding Woojin's gaze the entire time, even as the seating arrangement made it difficult, with Daniel sitting as far from Woojin as possible. He wasn't about to be the one to look away, to forfeit to a brat. Lee Woojin looked like he thought the the same. 

But Woojin broke off his gaze first and Jisung focused on more important things. Like not Lee Woojin. Like literally anything else. 

Seongwoo cleared his throat and everyone's heads snapped over to him. "Um, Daehwi, just remembered, did the staff member find you?" 

Daehwi's brow furrowed. "What staff member?" Then he sighed, leaning on his head on his hand. "It's probably about the lights, they've been broken for like a week now. It's so annoying. I thought they'd have it sorted out by now." 

Daniel shrugged. "I'm sure they'll get round to it, besides, we're almost in summer, it's not like it gets dark particularly late. And it's not like your toilet is broken or something. Nothing really important."

Samuel made a face. "Not everyone can see in the dark." 

Daniel grinned, but it looked pained. 

The conversation died away again. 

Samuel went for a second attempt at conversation. "Did you hear that they caught the saesang who turned that idol?" 

"Which idol?" Jisung asked, his brows knitting together. 

"Um," Samuel started, blinking rapidly, "She was a member of a rookie group?" 

"Haseul," Daehwi said, after a moment of silence, "I think it was Haseul. You know the group that debuts a new member every month or so? From BlockBerry Creative? Small-ish company?" 

"Oh yeah," Seongwoo said, eyes widening, "Yeah, I remember seeing that somewhere. She was turned like last month or something?" 

Daehwi nodded. "I think she'd only been debuted like a few months at the time of her turning." 

"Well, um, they caught her saesang," Samuel said, rather lifelessly. 

"Good," Daniel mumbled, his head leaning on his hand, a fire burning in his eyes. 

"Yeah," came Samuel's lacklustre reply. 

The conversation sputtered off into silence, like the last few breaths of a car engine.

"Um, so, how's everyone's position evaluation going?" Jisung said, attempting to reignite the dead sparks of conversation, for the third time.

Samuel and Park Woojin both frowned. Seongwoo's less-than-pleased expression drove the message home.

"It's okay," Park Woojin said, "Too many high-level trainees, everyone thinks they should have a say in it and that they're all the most important. Kind of annoying. Jihoon's alright though." 

"Thanks," a voice said from behind them, "Glad I qualify for alright in the mighty Woojin of the Park Clan's books." 

Jisung turned around to see the number one trainee and number one wannabe vampire himself, Park Jihoon. His eyes flitted between Daniel and Jisung, and then around the rest of the table. His smile might have been confident but his hands shook. 

He pushed on. "Could I sit with you guys?" 

Daniel's eyes narrowed to slits, his mouth forming a grimace but he nodded. A glance around at the others showed most of them shrugging and nodding. No one was going to pass up an opportunity to befriend the number one trainee. 

"I guess that's a yes," Jisung said, his voice barely above a whisper.

Jihoon's smile wavered but he sat down immediately, next to Seongwoo. 

"So, um, as the very boring and not particularly interesting conversation was going, what does everyone think of the position evaluation so far?" Jisung said, trying and failing to overcome the increasingly awkward atmosphere. 

Daehwi seemed only too eager to reply. "Dongho's the scariest person here but besides that, it's okay. Sewoon's really nice and Minki is um, likeable, I guess. He's kind of weird. Like he plays pranks way too often. And he's kind of aggressive." 

Samuel rolled his eyes. "Dongho's really friendly, you're just scared of everything, Daehwi." 

Daehwi looked disgusted. "No, I'm not, you're not in a group with him, I'm telling you that Dongho could punch a hole in my skull if he wanted and sometimes I think he wants to." 

"I mean, I want to, so he's not special," Park Woojin mumbled. 

Daehwi's mouth hung open. "What?! Why?! I'm cute, it's illegal to not like cute people!" 

Samuel backed Woojin up. "Daehwi, maybe if you shut up about vampires for once, you'd be cute but you're just annoying." 

"I mean it does get pretty annoying, not gonna lie," Daniel said, fuelling the fire. 

"You can't be annoyed about me talking about vampires, you are one!" 

Daniel choked on his blood. "What the hell, yeah I can, if anything it's more annoying. Imagine if someone was talking about how much they loved Koreans 24/7 to you, it'd get pretty annoying, pretty fast." 

"This is three versus one, this isn't fair. Hyung, back me up, pleeease," Daehwi whined, making pouty faces at Jisung.

He almost won him over, but Jisung held strong and fended off the evil adorable spirit. "Leave me out of this, I'm neutral. I'm just here to watch. As the eldest, I have a responsibility not to get involved. I gotta be referee. Make sure no burns are lethal." 

Jihoon stuck up for Daehwi instead. "I mean, I think vampires are pretty interesting. I think Daehwi's right to be talking about them all the time, there's a load to talk about." 

A series of groans and outcries erupted, pierced by a victory cry from Daehwi. 

"Okay, you're being evicted from the table," Park Woojin said, "We're taking your license to sit with us off you." 

Jihoon looked like he was about to change before Daehwi leapt in to the rescue. 

"No, he's staying forever, you can stay Jihoon, Woojin's a dumbass and mean. He's my new best friend, Woojin and Samuel, you're not my friends anymore." 

Samuel shot back a reply. "I can live with that. Seongwoo will take our side, right?" 

Daehwi went on the attack immediately. A stream of cute, sad faces was released, the most deadly weapon in his arsenal.

Seongwoo looked between the two rapidly, his head moving so fast it was a blur, rivaling even Daniel's speed. He sighed his dramatic-ass sigh, putting his hand on his heart. 

"I'm so sorry, my friends, my comrades, my partners in crime, but I must go where the drama is. I agree with Daehwi." 

Daniel looked heartbroken. "Seongwoo, no. I feel so betrayed. I thought we were in this together. Then you turn your back on me the first chance you get." 

Jisung drummed his hands on the table, trying to up the drama with some tense, bad drumming. "Three versus three, how will this battle play out? Are they evenly matched or will one team destroy the other in the war of words?" 

Jihoon's brow furrowed. "There's still Woojin left." 

The table went silent, all eyes on Daniel. Daniel didn't even risk a glance at Lee Woojin, staring straight ahead of him as though Woojin wasn't there and Jihoon hadn't brought him up. His smile was razor-thin.

Lee Woojin was staring at Daniel with such longing that it hurt to look at it. His eyes welled up with tears at the sight of his former mentor pretending he didn't exist. When he noticed the other's gaze on him, his gaze fell to his lap. And yet Jisung couldn't find it in himself to be sympathetic. 

Daehwi was too competitive and his mouth was too fucking big for his own good. He pushed on. "So, what do you think of vampires?" 

They all knew what Lee Woojin thought of vampires. No questions needed. He'd made that very clear. 

Park Woojin shifted and there was a loud thwack and Daehwi let out a high-pitched gasp. Jisung couldn't help but think he kind of deserved it.

Lee Woojin seemed to shrink at the question. His voice came out in short, quick breaths, the tears poorly hidden beneath the surface. 

"I don't know. I thought I knew but I don't know anymore." 

Those big eyes drifted over to Daniel once again. His lower lip trembled and he opened and closed his mouth over and over again, tense silence awaiting his reply. 

"Um... Daniel, I'm sorry. Really. I'm really sorry." 

Everything on Daniel's normally warm face was sharp. His eyebrows hooded those obsidian eyes, alight with a cold flame, glinting red when the light hit them at all the wrong angles. His smile had long since vanished, his expression twisted into a terrifying mask of fury. He turned to Lee Woojin. The maknae flinched. 

"You've already apologised." His voice was flat but Jisung could hear the fury threatening to erupt.

Woojin didn't let up, his voice trembling. "You're still mad at me." 

"I wonder why. You seem to only want me around when it's convenient. The apology was nice for the cameras but we all know it didn't mean shit." 

"No, I did mean it, hyu-" 

"Did I say you were allowed to call me hyung?" 

"N-not, but I thought-" 

The venom dripped from his voice. "You thought what? That we were still buddy buddy, after you chewing me out and then pretending I didn't exist?" A cruel laugh burst from Daniel's lips. 

"I apologised! I said I was sorry! Why can't we go back to how things were? I just want it all to be over and we can be friends again!" 

Daniel's hands were gripping the table so tightly that it left dents. "Like before? Woojin, you accused me of wanting to kill kids! How the fuck am I meant to pretend that that just never happened?" His voice cracked, and for a moment, Jisung thought he was going to cry. It passed and the rage overpowered the tears. 

"No! I didn't mean it -" 

"It sure as hell sounded like it." 

"No! I didn't know you weren't like you weren't like other vampires, that you never wanted to be one of them, that it wasn't your fault! I thought... I just thought... but I know now, I know that you're different and that it wasn't your fault at all and I feel really bad."

Daniel looked stunned in silence. He just stared at Woojin, blinking rapidly as though it would somehow help him understand what had been said. 

Jisung wanted to agree with him, just a little, that he wasn't like most vampires, even if he was mad at the kid, and that it had been some fucked up vampire that had made Daniel this. But his eyes met Jonghyun's from across the room and his stomach lurched. 

He opened his mouth and spoke before he had even realised what he was doing. The words tumbled out, out of his control. 

"What the fuck does that mean? How the hell is Daniel different from any other vampire? Is he somehow superior because he suffered or something when he was turning or some messed up martyr shit? Or is it just that you can like Daniel and still hate vampires?" 

The eyes were all on him now. Daniel's eyebrows knitted together, his anger having faded into confusion. 

Lee Woojin blinked several times before replying, like a deer that had been shot and hadn't even quite realised yet. "What?" 

"I mean it sounds an awful lot like you only like Daniel because he was turned in the worst way possible and he had basically no say in it."

"N-no, I just think that... that... The vampires who got a choice choose wrong." 

Jihoon's voice snapped up out of nowhere. Those pretty eyes were cut into slits. "How do you know? You don't know what reasons they had for turning? Maybe it was their only way to escape. Maybe they wanted to live longer. Maybe they were scared of dying. You can't judge them when you don't know why they did it." 

Lee Woojin was staring down at the table, his eyebrows pulled low over his eyes, flitting through a million expressions at once. He didn't even reply. 

Jihoon turned on Daniel. "Do you hate being a vampire?" 

Daniel chewed on his lip and avoided Jihoon's gaze. "I don't know," he whispered, almost like he was letting them in on a massive secret.

"I - I just thought that... that... the news said... my dad said -" 

That was when Jisung remembered that Lee Woojin was just a kid. He wasn't even sixteen yet. He was probably just spouting out what his dad said, what the news channels his dad watched said, what his classmates said. He knew what it meant, at least he thought knew, but he'd never been confronted about before. He'd never met a vampire before, one so different from the creatures on the news, covered in blood and with teeth too sharp, not what his parents thought a vampire looked like but a real vampire, one that you wouldn't even notice was a vampire unless you looked close, so human that the line between the two seemed non-existent.

The sympathy that had died in Jisung when Woojin had ripped Daniel's heart out and thrown it back in his face erupted in him, bringing with it something strange, something new: empathy. Woojin was just some dumb bigoted kid. The least they could do was to make sure he didn't become a cruel bigoted adult.

His voice came out soft and hushed, almost like warm breeze on summer's day. "Woojin, your dad and the news aren't always right." 

Woojin went very, very quiet. His eyes drifted towards his lap. Jisung thought he saw a tear slide down his cheek but if he did, it was a lone tear. 

The silence hung around the table like an unwelcome friend. At least it wasn't as crushing as it had been moments prior. 

Daniel was the one to break it, his eyes locked onto his bottle, fiddling with the lid. "Thanks. For sticking up for me." His voice was almost inaudible. 

"No problem," he muttered, and his eyes darted towards Woojin, "But you better make it up with Woojin. He's just an asshole kid in need of a mentor figure. Maybe you can help him be a little less of an asshole." 

Daniel stared at him, incredulous. "I though you hated him?" he said, his voice low. 

"I do. Doesn't mean I have to be an asshole to him. And besides, just because I hate him, doesn't mean you have to." He paused, his eyes meeting Daniel's. "Do you hate him?" 

Jisung expected a vague, unsure answer. Daniel was giving a lot of those nowadays. Instead he got a long pause. And then a firm, "No. He's an ass but I think I might have gotten attached. Guess it's gonna be my job to change his mind on vampires." He paused, his eyes lingering on Jonghyun. "And maybe mine too. You know who the other vampire is, right?" 

"Did I make it that obvious? Thought I was being like a spy or something, really subtle and undercover and all this. Jisung the super spy. Kind of has a ring to it. "

Daniel shook his head and sighed. "You were a little subtle. Not that much though, don't give yourself too much credit." He paused. "What do you think?" 

"He's not really what I expected. Or who expected. He doesn't seem that old. He seems a little angry though. But wise. I suppose that comes with being a hundred and something." 

Daniel avoided his gaze. "Yeah, I guess he is kind of normal. He wasn't really what I expected either. Thought that vampires were a lot more, I dunno, pretentious. Had a big ego. Violent. Wanted to go back to the good old times where they could eat anyone they want." He hesitated. "I thought they were all leeches." The word trembled, almost like Daniel struggled to say it.

"Yeah. I mean, I had M--" Jisung caught himself just in time, which was too close for his liking-- "the other vampire I knew so I guess I shouldn't be that--" 

Suddenly someone (it sounded an awful lot like Samuel) raised their voice, bursting through the conversation. "That's a lie, how the hell could they have gotten him to host?" 

Jisung turned to see Jihoon shrugging before replying. "I don't know, maybe his schedule was especially free this time round. I'm just relaying what I heard." 

Seongwoo's jaw was hanging open, his mouth forming a shape only he could manage. Park Woojin's eyebrows had disappeared into his hairline, blinking so fast Jisung was sure that he'd break his eyelids somehow. Daehwi looked like he was about to break down into tears, but tears of joy and disbelief, mumbling out indecipherable watery whispers. Lee Woojin's seat was empty. 

"What's going on?" Daniel said, a clear expression of confusion on his face, "Who's hosting?" 

A torrent of replies came and Jisung had no idea what any of them said. "Uh, come again?" They all opened their mouths, prepared to fire off again and Jisung rushed to speak before them. "Uh, one at time." 

Jihoon began, glancing at the others' shocked expression before opening his mouth. "Uh, so y'know BoA can't host the position evaluation because she's off doing idol stuff and all that?" 

Jisung nodded. 

"So well, you both know that Leeteuk was meant to be her replacement. And um, basically, he can't make it either, I think it was conflicting with a variety show or something. So he cancell--" 

Samuel cut across Jihoon, his eyes the size of saucers, chest heaving. "Xiumin, yeah, that Xiumin from EXO is replacing him. From EXO! We're going to meet an EXO member!" 

Jisung choked on his drink.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> That prologue is actually becoming relevant for reasons other than worldbuilding soooooo :D


	18. XVII

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Well, we've returned to the angst train

The performance day couldn't come fast enough. All everyone could talk about was Xiumin coming to host. It was so bad that the coaches basically banned fanboying over EXO for the rest of position evaluation to make sure the trainees actually focused.

Jisung felt like he was going to get sick. He didn't want to meet Minseok again. Not like this. Not until he was an idol and successful and well-known so that he could make Minseok proud, if only a little. He didn't want Minseok to feel bad or think he was useless, like everyone else. 

He was trying to lead his team as normal, even with frazzled nerves and terror deep-rooted in his veins. He kept messing up. He kept missing his cues or getting mixed up with someone else's lines or stupid things like that. The rest of his team would always look at him with annoyance and his cheeks and stomach would burn, his fists clenching and they'd repeat. 

He knew the song. He was meant to know the song. He had to know it. He was leader. He had to help everyone else, not focus on himself. If he couldn't even set the example, what right did he have to be leader? 

It got so bad that even Sungwoon brought it up. 

"Jisung, are you okay? This is the most basic melody and you've already messed up twice. Hyunbin is way better than you at this stage." 

Hyunbin looked confused on how to receive that, a concerned beam spreading across his face. 

"Yeah, yeah, I'm fine, sorry, just a little all over the place. Stess, y'know." 

Jaehwan began nodding but Sungwoon's jaw tightened. 

"Everyone's stressed. This is something else. Figure out quick, before the performance. You're our leader, we can't do it without you."

Jisung nodded absently, barely hearing what Sungwoon was saying. 

"Jisung, focus. We've gotta do it again. This time act like the leader we voted for. The yelling was bad enough, we don't need you to fuck up too." 

Guilt pooled in Jisung's stomach and he nodded again. He coughed out an apology and did his best to actually pay attention this time, to actually try and get it right. He pushed Minseok out of his mind. If he could maybe show Minseok he wasn't useless, just unlucky, maybe then he'd go easier on him. Maybe there would be less pity. Maybe he wouldn't look down on him. He had to try and focus on the team. He couldn't afford to let them down. Not now. Not when he was so close. Not when he'd failed his first team, failed Hyeonwoo and Hoolim. 

He messed up. They practiced it again. Jaehwan struggled to hit a note. Practiced again. Sungwoon stumbled. Again. Hyunbin forgot the lyrics. Again. Minhyun slipped up. Again. Any mistake he called for a repeat, until they were exhausted and their throats were aching and their voices beginning to fail them. 

Jaehwan's throaty cough convinced him to calm down a bit. That and Sungwoon's saying, "I think we might lose our voices if we keep going at this pace, hyung." 

He nodded in response, swallowing loudly. But a part of him wanted to cling to practice like a crutch, like a dying man holding onto life. Practice would make it perfect, right? All they had to do was work hard and then life would reward them. Hard work was everything. That's all there was to it. Practice and practice and practice and they'd succeed. All he could see was Minseok's disappointed face. Surely he could get rid of that by practicing hard enough. By achieving the ever-elusive perfection they all sought.

But they'd practiced so hard in the last round and nothing. They'd lost. Those marginal four points might has well have been four hundred, it still lost them the win. They'd practiced so hard that Jisung could hardly breathe right and then kept going. And it had done nothing. It had gotten them nowhere. 

He let out a long, weighty breath. "Just one last one and we'll finish up until the stage rehearsal." 

The grimaces spoke louder than any of Sungwoon's words. 

Minhyun's brows furrowed. "It's basically perfect. Why are we still rehearsing it?" 

A cruel dry laugh bubbled in his throat, rising and threatening to burst from his lips. He held it back. Basically perfect wasn't good enough. The audience expected nothing less than perfection. Mistakes were not tolerated. Tiny mistakes could mean the difference between getting through to the next round or not. One slip up could be the end of them, no matter how small. He needed it to be perfect. It had to perfect. No chance of losing again. He had to win. They had to win. Maybe he'd get nothing out of it, but at least he could know he'd done everything. That if any members of the team got eliminated, it wouldn't be on him. All he needed was to ensure it was perfect. And hope for a fair bit of luck. No one was getting eliminated this time. 

"One last time," he said stubbornly, "A small mistake could end us. It could put the 100,000 points out of reach." 

Jaehwan shook his head incredulously. "Jisung, they're not going to notice a small mistake." 

"They might. They will. We have to be more than basically perfect." 

Jaehwan fell silent for the barest of moments but it seemed to last for eons. When he finally spoke, he met Jisung's eyes. "Hyung, you're too fixated on the small stuff. They're not gonna notice a small mistake. Look at the bigger picture. Even if it's only for this one practice." 

It was Jisung's turn to go quiet. He still only saw all the small mistakes, the things that could hinder the performance in the smallest and most irritating of ways. He knew the big picture was important but he couldn't step back. In the last round, the big picture had been perfect. And they'd still lost. So it had to be those little mistakes. He could fix them now. He had to. He couldn't look at it from the outside, he couldn't afford to. 

"One more time," he said, his voice a whisper. 

Jisung tried. He honestly did. But still, all he could see were the mistakes. All he could hear was how Hyunbin's voice cracked -- just barely, but it did -- in the middle of a line, how Minhyun's entry was still a few milliseconds off, how Jaehwan's voice trembled ever so slightly on the high note when it should've been strong, how Sungwoon's harmony was a semitone too high. It took everything in his power to not say anything. He said this would be the last one. He'd already pointed those mistakes out a hundred times. And he'd all but promised to look at the bigger picture. 

So he just smiled, as though it had be perfect. Maybe he could delude himself into it. Think it was perfect when it was so far from it. But all that rang in his ears were the slip-ups and errors.

The others looked so happy with it that Jisung almost exploded on the spot. Couldn't they see? Couldn't they hear all the mistakes? Couldn't they see they were still so far from perfect?

But he was just too tired to get angry. They needed encouragement anyway, after all his yelling. His stomach lurched. He'd failed as a leader as much as he'd failed as a centre. The least he could do was give them this moment, this moment of hope and happiness for tomorrow. They'd need it most then. 

So he just smiled as brightly as he could and said, trying to be as sincere as possible while lying, "It was great. It was really good, guys. I'm amazed, honestly, I didn't expect to be that good." 

"Yeah," Jaehwan said, his grin growing so huge it almost enveloped his face, "It's pretty good." 

He could feel Sungwoon's gaze on him, burning holes into his skull, but when he glanced over, it was hidden with by a small smile. 

"We can win it," Minhyun said, eyes shining, "I know we can. We're more than good enough." 

They weren't. They weren't good enough, they kept making so many mistakes, they weren't perfect, they couldn't afford to be anything less than p--

"Fighting!" Hyunbin said, his voice shy but his eyes brimming with hope and Jisung was a filthy liar, he was giving them hope when they weren't even close to perfect and they wouldn't be able to win with that. 

But he just matched his smile to Hyunbin's, and bile rose in his throat. "Fighting! Let's go win this!" 

"And meet an EXO member, don't forget!" Jaehwan pushed in. 

"I wonder why they only got one and not the whole group?" Sungwoon mumbled, his brows furrowed. 

"EXO have like five hundred things going on once, Xiumin was probably the only one they could get free."

Jisung wished he hadn't been free, that something, anything had come up and he would've had longer to try and debut as idol, that he would've been able to show Xiumin he achieved his dream, all by himself, that he'd was capable and talented and everything else that came with debuting. 

Minhyun nodded. "I mean, the nine of them don't do everything together. I didn't do everything with the other NU'EST members. I did a lot, but not everything." 

"Do you reckon that'll happen if we debut?" Hyunbin mumbled, glancing at the rest with something akin to fear in his eyes. 

Sungwoon nodded. "Of course. Not everyone is gonna be suited for the same stuff. And sometimes companies only want individual members for ads and stuff. Like we all know Jihoon is gonna be the most sought after celebrity soon. He's basically the perfect idol." 

Jaehwan's mouth twisted into a grimace. "The perfect model more like. He's only number one because he's good-looking. He's not there because of talent or personality." 

Minhyun laughed, in the way you laugh when someone says something and you hope they're joking. "I mean, he did get into SM and Fantagio. They're known for their amazing visuals."

Hyunbin had gone awfully quiet, his eyes on the the floor. Jisung almost felt sorry for him but his chest was burning and all he could hear were those whispers that seemed to haunt him, that he was ugly, his eyes too small, his nose too long, his head too big, that he was too old and his pity died before it had a chance to take hold. 

"Doesn't make it any less unfair," he said, his jaw clenched. 

Jaehwan glanced at him before his eyes returned to Minhyun and his mouth twisted into grimace. "Yeah. I'm kind of sick of being overlooked for better looking trainees. Just because they're nicer to look at. I thought idols had to be talented, not just easy on the eyes."

Minhyun went awfully quiet. "Why can't we be both?" he said, after a moment.

Sungwoon spoke up, out of nowhere. "That's not the point, Minhyun. It's not fair that looks get chosen over talent. And don't try to deny it happens." His eyes flitted over to Hyunbin so fast Jisung almost missed it. 

Minhyun's jaw clenched. "Being good-looking isn't that easy either. It means being shoved into a box, doubted for abilities because you're attractive. How many people actually care about Cha Eunwoo's voice or V's dancing ability or --" 

A laugh slipped from his lips before he could stop it. "At least you get fans. At least people care about something. At least people don't whisper about how ugly you are, accuse you of being too old, of being Mnet's--" 

He'd said too much. He was meant to be the eldest, the leader, he wasn't supposed to talk about himself. Or burden those younger him with his worries. He couldn't show that he was hurting, not when everyone was dealing with their own shit. They didn't need to know about his problems. 

"Hyung, you came third," Minhyun said, raising his eyebrows, "You're more popular than any of us." 

And everyone hated him for it. For every fan, there seemed to be two more haters. It felt like it had been a fluke. Mnet had probably rigged it or something. To make sure he didn't fall out too soon. To keep him for entertainment for as long as possible. All everyone talked about was how he deserved to be lower, how he'd stolen that spot, how Mnet had pushed him to be there. As though he'd fucking chosen to be on screen that often. As though he was fucking editing the episodes. As though he was rigging the votes somehow. All he wanted to do was debut and everyone seemed to hate him for it.

Jisung just shrugged. "Yeah, I guess," he mumbled. 

Sungwoon thankfully changed the topic. "Okay, this is getting depressing, let's go back to talking about EXO and how great we were." 

Jisung's face split into his usual grin, trying to push down the rage building in his chest. "Maybe we could get Xiumin to convince people to vote for us?" 

Minhyun's expression was wrought with concern. "Uh, I don't know if he'll do it. He's meant to be hosting, not promoting."

"You never know," Jisung said, cackling mischeviously, "Maybe we could get the EXO-Ls on our side. There's like a million of them, we'd win for sure." 

"Ookay, that's enough talking for today, I think everyone's too tired," Sungwoon said, climbing to his feet, "Besides we need rest for the rehearsal tomorrow. Like badly. I'm so sleep deprived I don't even know what I'm saying like ninety percent of the time."

Jisung sighed, grief and solemnity permeating the long, heavy sigh. "Alas. For we must return to our beds, the one solace we have in this cruel world and await the nightmare that is tomorrow." 

"No, I'm looking forward to it!" Hyunbin protested, looking indignant, "We get to meet Xiumin!" 

The smile on his face was beginning to feel forced. He couldn't meet him like this, still a trainee and a mess of rage and nerves. The bare thought of meeting Xiumin again was enough to send shivers down his spine. Tomorrow couldn't come slow enough.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Um... there is an angst with a happy ending tag so I promise it'll work out in the end, but we're moving into that weird area where Daniel is getting better and Jisung is getting worse, so be prepared? 😅 But two more chapters of position evaluation after this and then we're onto concept! god the end feels so close already xD


	19. XVIII

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Rehearsal timeeeeeee and then next chapter we have the position evaluation. Considering how short the previous chapters have been, these ones are all much longer, so it's kind of an apology for the short ones xD sometimes I gotta further the plot and stuff and it's not always a massive chapter that I need for it

The lower number of trainees meant that everyone was able to go the rehearsal stage together and watch it. Which was Jisung's worst nightmare. He was already dreading seeing his own group, he didn't need to see how far ahead everyone else was too. The poor performance from last night wasn't doing anything for his confidence. He could only hope they weren't that far behind because him and his inability to lead.

The opposite seemed to ring true. Everyone was outstanding. No vocal unit had any weak links and their voices blended together seamlessly, weaving together to create a fabric of melody. Everyone was flaunting outstanding vocals, beautiful harmonies and gorgeous high notes. It made his hands shake and his throat go dry.

He paid less attention to the rap but some people stuck out - Jonghyun, Moonbok, Im Youngmin, Ha Minho, Lee Gwanghyun, even Taewoo. 

It was dance that made him sit forward, analysing every group with terror eating away at his nerves. Daniel had to win. Otherwise he'd be eliminated for sure, and his idol career would've ended before it ever really started. He needed those 100,000 points.

But the other groups were unnervingly good. And too many of the dancers stood out, beacons of charisma and stage presence combined with insane skill and power. Could Daniel really outshine the likes of Noh Taehyun or Joo Haknyeon or Eunki or Kim Taedong? And he hadn't even seen the Get Ugly group yet. Could Daniel really beat them all to the 100,000 points? The audience didn't care about need. They didn't care that not getting them meant elimination for Daniel. They cared about how good the performance was, how much individuals stood out, how much talent and charisma you could fit into one person and that person could express back to them.

And there was still the whole issue of Minseok. He'd hoped that it had been fake, that Daehwi had been mistaken, that Minseok wasn't coming at all but the world was much too cruel to pass up a chance at drama. And even if the world had been kind, Mnet certainly wasn't going abandon that opportunity. 

So when Minseok stepped up on stage for the first time, Jisung's stomach dropped. He did his best to avoid looking at him, to hide his face in some way because bile rose in his throat every time he thought of how disappointed he'd be. 

But it was hard not to. He looked identical to how he had in Jisung's childhood. Expecting to see that same face didn't make it any less unnerving. It was like staring his past right in the face. 

He would have to get comfortable with the inability to change or age because that was going to be Daniel. Maybe it would be twenty years and he'd stare at Daniel and see his past in that face, rather than Minseok's. A shiver ran down his spine at the thought.

If Minseok noticed him, he didn't acknowledge it. He just continued doing his job presenting, and spent his time off-stage practicing his lines and chatting to staff. Jisung was glad for it. He tried to focus on Daniel instead.

Daniel backstage had been more frenzied and messy than Jisung had ever seen. He'd been all over the place, talking to all the members of his team, running up and down the steps and pacing through corridors and dressing rooms at rapid speed. He'd even ran to the toilet several times, looking even paler than usual. The urge to reassure him was overwhelming but Daniel had always vanished before he'd had the chance to say anything. 

As the group stepped onto stage, it was clear that Daniel was still in that petrified mindset. It was like looking at a puppy about to bolt at any moment. 

He couldn't even take comfort in the irrationality of those anxieties. Everyone knew what rode on this performance. All of the trainees in the group would probably get eliminated. They were at the bottom after all, the ones who had just scraped through and had to prove to the audience why they deserved to be there more than anyone else. The smallest mistake for any of them could mean the end of their hopes of being an idol.

And Daniel was sitting the worst position possible. He'd be the first to go, especially if he didn't get those 100,000 points. Jisung's hands shook even as he did his best to keep them still. 

Then the music started up and that snap, that moment where Daniel became immersed in his stage persona, where his confidence ruled him and reassured him... never came. His smile was bright but his eyes brimmed with fear. The shaking of his hands grew more violent.

The group launched into their dance with reckless abandon, with Daniel at forefront. They all looked laid-back and at ease and as though they were sure of their place in the next round. Even if all the evidence pointed to the contrary.

But something was off. The other trainees seemed perfect, hitting each move perfectly, bright and cheery and embodying the music. But Daniel was off. The smile was there but everything else was lacking. He kept missing the cues, kept forgetting the moves, kept glancing at the others. When he was in the centre, or when he did manage to hit the moves, he seemed unsure and lacked that effortless charisma. Sometimes he even seemed to slip or lose his footing and his reflexes were sluggish. He was never able to catch himself fast enough for it to go unnoticed. The smile kept slipping and the mask kept cracking. The Daniel from Sorry, Sorry and the Daniel from Pop seemed like two different people. It was like he was out of it. Jisung hadn't seen him so sloppy since his trainee days. 

Passable would've been a kind word to describe his performance.

How was Daniel supposed to beat the other dancers if he couldn't even outshine those around him? Their specialities weren't even dance. Vocalists and rappers were doing better than him in his strongest area. Jisung kept hoping that Daniel would pull himself together, that he'd return to full form, that it would just be a few seconds more before the Daniel with all the talent in the world and the ability to express it with such ease and power that it made him stand out in a group of a hundred to jump out but he never did. He even almost fell out of his b-boy moves, spinning much too slowly or just not balancing right, wobbling so violently that it looked like a breeze might blow him over. 

The final b-boy move was the worst. Daniel was already wobbling and trembling, as though he couldn't quite hold himself upright anymore. When he collapsed out of it much too hard and at an odd angle, it was all but expected. It didn't make it any less unnerving. The bang and crack could be heard from the furthest corners of the buildings. 

The entire room froze, the chatter dying in an instant. Jisung stared at the stage with his mouth hanging wide open and horror clawing at his chest. 

Daniel's face scrunched up. If he made a sound, Jisung couldn't hear over the blaring music. His leg was twisted into an unnatural angle, all sharp and cruel edges. Jisung's stomach lurched. 

Daniel rolled over, so that he was facing the ceiling and the leg looked worse from there, stiff and swollen. Lee Insoo was the first to kick into action, moving towards him at rapid pace but Daniel held out his hand and shook his head. Jisung could see his mouth moving but couldn't hear a word he said. The music was still blaring. Insoo nodded and stepped back, his brows furrowed.

The broken leg began to snap back into place within seconds. The swelling went down and the angles of the leg gradually looked softer and less unnerving until it looked like he hadn't been injured at all. As though they'd just imagined the injury, something that had happened in a dream, drifting out of memory with unnatural speed. 

He managed to make eye contact with Jihoon -- he wasn't even sure how. That strange, feverish look burned in his eyes, that had been hidden for so long. He didn't linger on it.

Daniel had already gotten back to his feet by the time that Jisung looked back, bowing and apologising to the coaches. The apology was the only hint that anything had happened. Daniel was back to his eternal perfect appearance. The coaches brushed it off, eyes equal parts unsettled and concerned, and the team left the stage. 

The whispers began right after Daniel left. 

"He seemed off, I've never seen him that bad before -- " 

" -- isn't dance his speciality? What was wrong with him in that performance? Maybe he should've chosen rap -- " 

" -- he's lucky he's a vampire, an injury that bad should've put him out of the entire competition -- " 

" -- are we sure that he deserved to be A? He didn't look like A material there -- " 

" -- I'd expected more from him, after his Sorry, Sorry performance and seeing as he was both centre and leader -- " 

" -- maybe the pressure's getting to him -- " 

Jisung all but raced from those whispers, moving backstage as quickly as he could without running. 

Finding Daniel was easier than he'd expected. He was alone, sitting with his head in his hands. 

Jisung sat down beside him, half-expecting Daniel to push him away. He didn't. He didn't even seem to acknowledge him. He let the silence linger, afraid to push Daniel too far when he wasn't ready.

It was while before Daniel said anything, and when he did finally speak, his voice was hoarse and thin. He sounded worn through, like a man clinging onto the vestiges of energy with crumbling hands. 

"I really fucked up that stage, huh?" 

Jisung did his best to smile wryly, even if Daniel couldn't see it. "A bit." He paused. "What was wrong? I haven't seen you so all over the place since your first training practice." 

Daniel's hands fell from his face but he kept his gaze on the floor. "I don't know. Exhaustion. Stress." A deep breath. "I don't think anyone will vote for me. I don't really see the point in putting effort in. It's futile. I need to make a massive jump to even slip into the next round." 

"And giving an shit stage is really going to help with that? Daniel, get your head in the game. You need to persuade the audience. You get those 100,000 points and you're through. For sure. But no one's going to vote for the performance you just gave." 

There was a long pause. Daniel wrung his fingers the entire time. "I know. I know. I'm sorry. I just... I'm just tired. So tired of -- " 

Someone cut him off. A voice from above him. One that was unnervingly familiar. 

"Jisung? I wasn't sure if it was actually you on the TV, I was so sure you would've debuted by now and I kept an eye out for you but here you are and you're doing great so far!" 

Jisung's stomach was doing a full gymnastics routine at this stage. He looked up slowly just to make sure it was who he thought it was. He really hoped otherwise. 

But sure enough, he met Minseok's eyes, a brilliant grin spread across his face. 

He tried to return it but his was shaky and half-hearted. "Um, hi, Minseok."

Minseok didn't seem deflated or let down by the lack of a positive response. "I never managed to check back in on your idol career. I couldn't really find you anywhere, which sucked, but then I decided since... um..." Those big eyes scanned the surrounding area and his voice dropped to a whisper. "Well, my sire, and my kynn -- it's like a sibling-progeny thing, basically someone else my sire turned. It's weird and hard to explain. Anyway, they'd decided to go try and become idols and a load of others, an old friend I'm not really allowed to name because he's an even bigger idol than I am, were all becoming idols, I was like why not? Besides, I'd hoped to find you and make sure you were doing okay." 

Jisung stared up at him, his mind racing to catch up. The Minseok in front of him seemed younger, brighter almost, as though he was see some version of him from the past rather than one that was twenty years older than the one he'd known. It was like he was reinvigorated or something.

"How've you been? I haven't really gotten a chance to ask," Minseok said, voice bright.

Jisung smiled tightly. "Not great, obviously, if I'm here." 

Minseok's youthful excitability fell away to an older, more grave patience. "Sorry. I should've realised. That was insensitive. I'd hoped you'd had debuted by now. I didn't really expect to see you here." 

Jisung shrugged. "Shit luck I guess. And not being that talented." The imperfect performances from the team that he was leading, kept replaying in his mind, like a broken record created solely to torture him.

Minseok sat down beside him. His piercing gaze made Jisung shift uncomfortably underneath it, but his smile was soft. "Jisung, from what I've seen, it seems a hell of lot more like the former. I'm sure you know the idol industry is a soul-crushing machine at times. There's too many people out there with talent. And, before you say anything putting yourself down, you're one of them for sure. The audience wouldn't have voted for you if you had no talent at all." 

Tears pricked at Jisung's eyes and he wished Daniel wasn't here to witness his vulnerability. It felt wrong, being weak in front of Daniel when he was meant to be the strong one for the two of them. But he'd buried it for so long and the floodgates were weakening. It wouldn't take much for everything to come pouring out. 

Jisung replied slowly, trying to keep his voice stable. "They vote for me because I'm funny. Not because I'm talented. I can't even lead my team properly, I've done everything and it's still not perfect, someone always gets something wrong --" 

"I think your performance was perfect," Minseok said quietly, "The imperfections make it beautiful, Jisung, they remind the audience that you're only human and that was what you set out to do, right? You don't need to iron them all out. There's no garment out there that never wrinkles." 

Jisung opened his mouth to explain that they were idols, they had to be perfect, because if they weren't, there'd be someone out there that was and then they'd get the vote and his team members would be eliminated and it would be all his fault -- 

Minseok cut across him before he let all his thoughts spill out, with eyes that conveyed that they understood. "Jisung. Step back. You're so attached the details that you're forgetting that the audience only sees the bigger picture. Try to enjoy it. You do this because you love it, right? So try and hold onto why you love it and don't get so caught up with those small details." 

Jisung wrung his fingers and tried not to think about the failure that seemed imminent. He wasn't sure if he'd be able to step back. He'd tried already and failed. Besides, wasn't the leader meant to pay attention to those details? So he couldn't afford to step back, not when they were so close. 

"Jisung," Minseok said, his voice firm and Jisung looked up to meet his eyes, "Trust me on this." 

Jisung just nodded. He'd try. He'd try to step back. Just for the final performance. He wouldn't be able to change anything then, so it wouldn't even matter. He could step back then. 

Daniel seemed like he was six steps behind them. "Wait, y-you're a vampire?" he said suddenly, eyes going huge. 

Minseok stared at Daniel, brows furrowed. "Could you not tell, like instantly? No heartbeat is kind of a dead giveaway. It's really weird that you... I mean, you seem fairly young -- when were you turned? Who's your sire? Trusting your senses is the basics, I'd expect you to know that at least, no matter how young." 

Daniel's chewed on his lip, avoiding meeting Minseok's studious stare. "Uh... I -- I thought you would've known or heard. Or something -- I mean, um, I don't have a sire." 

The crease between Minseok's brows deepened. "Why would've I have..." His expression relaxed into one of unsettled understanding. "You're the Kang heir."

The smile on Daniel's face looked forced. "That's me," he said limply. 

"I didn't -- I hadn't expected to see you here. I thought the names was just a coincidence. And the vampirism." He made face at his own stupidity, but it was only a flash and then it returned to that unsettled expression. "I didn't think any Kang, especially not the only son, would try something other than hunting." 

"It's hard to be a hunter when you're the very thing you're meant to be hunting." 

"I thought... the turning was fairly recent. Usually you'd train for longer than a few months to get to your level of dancing and rapping." 

Daniel swallowed hard, his gaze locked on the ground. "It was. Fairly recent. Uh, a month before going on Produce 101." A sad smile graced his face. "Kind of threw a wrench in my plans." 

"Your parents let you become an idol?" 

Daniel shrugged. "I mean. It was hard to convince them. They wanted me to be a hunter. Obviously. They kept trying to get me back. Back into hunting, even when I told them I wanted to be an idol. And I didn't want to be a hunter." 

There was a long silence before Minseok replied. "I guess the cloud had some sort of silver lining. You don't have to worry about being dragged back into being a hunter anymore. As you said yourself, you can't be a hunter and a vampire." 

Daniel paused, his eyes flitting back and forth, brows knitting together. "Oh," he said softly, like he was in shock, "I -- I guess not. I -- I didn't really think about that."

Minseok beamed. "There's always some sort of upside. You just have to find it. It's hard sometimes, but it's there." 

Daniel just nodded, breaking into an unusually subdued smile. 

Minseok's brows furrowed, staring at Daniel like he was some sort of unsolveable puzzle. "This is going to sound insensitive, but how do you do it without a sire? I couldn't imagine not having my sire by my side, especially not for the first few months." He paused, his eyes widening exponentially. "You probably don't know anything about how modern vampire society works, huh? Not the Council of Elders or the covens or the aristocracy or anything?" 

Daniel just stared blankly at Minseok. He looked as though he was struggling to keep up, his mind racing behind those blank eyes. "Uh, no, not really. I -- I thought that vampire society was... uh... unstructured. I -- I didn't think, the hunters said that --" 

Minseok smiled wryly. "The hunters get a lot of things wrong. There's a lot of red herrings we leave to trip them up. And they fall for way too many. It'd be funny if they couldn't still kill us." He shrugged. "We just do our best to prevent them from finding the big targets." 

All Daniel responded with was a slow nod. Jisung couldn't really blame him. What he'd learned in school about vampires seemed like they'd only skimmed the surface. Done the basics and pretended it was all there was. To realise that even Daniel, equipped with more knowledge than anyone else he knew besides maybe Minseok and Jonghyun, only knew the tip of the iceberg was fairly unnerving. Then again, vampires were private creatures. It shouldn't have been surprising to find out they were hiding almost everything from them. 

A silence followed and no one attempted to break it for quite a while. He could all but see the motors and gears turning in Daniel's head as he struggled to absorb what had been said. But Minseok also had gone very very quiet, gnawing his lip, his brows creased, glancing repeatedly at Daniel. 

He almost jumped five feet in the air when Minseok finally broke the silence. "I'd be willing to teach you." 

"What?" Daniel said, his voice shaky, his eyes shifting from the floor to meet Minseok's eyes. 

The gaze he met was somewhere between intense and hopeful. Scrutinizing and excited. Unsure and eager. "I'd be willing to be your sire." 

Daniel had gone so still that he for all the world looked like an actual Renaissance statue. His lips just barely moved, his voice a low whisper. "What?" 

"I mean, I've never sired anyone before, so I don't know if I'll be any good but I'm willing to try. And if I do end up completely failing at it, my sire would be willing to take you on. She's that mom type anyway and it's been over three hundred years since she sired me so she's due a new -- " 

"Why?" 

The crease between Minseok's brows returned. "Um, I mean I'm just --" 

Daniel rushed to explain. "No, no, I'm sorry, that came out badly. I just mean, I -- I don't understand why you'd want to take a, um, someone like me." 

Minseok cocked an eyebrow. 

There was a long pause before Daniel explained, swallowing loudly before he spoke. "Someone who used to be a hunter. I've seen so many vampires killed and I did nothing, sometimes I even helped, and I used the word l... l..." Daniel's voice faltered, as though he couldn't even push the word past his lips. "I don't know if I deserve it." 

Minseok was silent for so long that Daniel stopped breathing. 

"Yeah, you've probably done a lot of awful things and said awful things, but quite frankly, just because you were an awful person once, doesn't mean you're an awful person forever. Look, Daniel, I'm gonna be blunt here, but what happened to you was pretty shitty." Daniel opened his mouth but Minseok cut across him before he had a chance to speak. "And before you say you kind of deserved it, the fact you even think that says a lot. I'd like to think you're a better person now than you were then, but there's much less cruel ways to go about changing someone's fucked up mindset than a revenge turning. So, yeah, I still want to be your sire, even if you did do all that awful stuff in the past. But if you really think you don't deserve it, we can leave it be and you can continue on as you were. I just want to give this a shot, okay?"

Daniel just nodded numbly but his confusion transformed into an expression that Jisung hadn't seen in so long on Daniel's face that it looked alien. 

Hope.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Yayayayayayay Minseok comes to save the day, give a few pep talks and generally be the person every one needed ^-^ It's a little break (sort of) from the angst of the last chapter


	20. XIX

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> At long last, the Position Evaluation. Downpour was probably one of my favourite performances of Produce 101 Season 2, so forgive my self-indulgence xD Also prepare for plenty of descriptions ^-^  
> (this is a day early because I'm on midterm so I have plenty of time /and/ it's an extra long one ;D)

Mnet seemed to thrive off of crushing hope but Daniel's joy refused to be broken. 

And he sure as hell needed it after the awful rehearsal. 

Jisung's rehearsal had been fine. He'd fallen back, focused too much on the tiny mistakes again and walked off frustrated, even when Minseok tried to comfort him. He was doing his best to look at the big picture but he'd couldn't, not until he'd fixed all the tiny details. And he'd run out of time to do exactly that.

He was scared. Terrified. And the other performances did nothing but exasperate that fear, changing it from a faint hum to a ear-splitting screech, threatening to deafen him. 

The 'If It Was You' team performed the heart-rending ballad to perfection, making goosebumps run along his arms. The entire room watched them in complete silence, no one even daring to speak while such a beautiful, soulful melody was being performed. 

Jin Longguo walked away with 633 points. The lowest score went to Kim Yehyeon with 470 points. 

It already seemed far too high. Jisung just didn't want to be last. He didn't want to be the worst at one of the things he was proudest about. They couldn't break him here. He already felt like he was barely holding himself together as it was.

The 'Right Round' team had an upbeat, likeable performance, with everyone doing so well, it was hard to make out who would grab the most points. They moved like a single unit, like they were all extensions of each other. 

Haknyeon earned 581 points. Kim Namhyung managed to get 379 points. 

Jisung didn't pay much attention to the rap but the first team, 'Boys and Girls,' was still insanely talented, with easy-going and cheerful raps, delivered with absolute ease, as though it was never even considered a difficulty for them.

Im Youngmin: 651 points.  
Kim Dongbin: 271 points. 

The 'Shape of You' team had a clear victor from the moment he stepped onstage. Noh Taehyun ruled the stage with a cocky sexiness that put every other performance to shame. It was difficult to remember what the other performances had been like while watching him, all eyes drawn to him like a magnet even when he wasn't in the centre. Jisung's stomach sunk lower the longer he watched and fell to his feet as the audience called for an encore. He had no idea how Daniel was meant to in any way challenge that. 

Noh Taehyun: 621 points  
Park Sungwoo: 474 points 

Then the 'Fear' strode onstage to remind everyone else what other positions there were with an impressive blow. They ensured the interest was on them, solely invested in their stories and pain and terror and insecurities, and Jonghyun lead them with the most devastating of raps, wielding his chosen position with a power that threatened to overshadow everything that was to come after it. He almost seemed ancient during that performance, as though all the pain of all his years, so much more than everyone else's, was finally being released in the most devastating and impactful way possible.

Kim Jonghyun: 665 points  
Jang Moonbok: 227 points

The 'Playing with Fire' team already had a lot of expectations they had to meet, given the team was made up off Daehwi, Dongho, Minki and Sewoon. They exceeded them, even adding in pieces of choreo to keep the attention laser-focused on them while they performed. It was hard to tell who stood out, with every single one of the delivering an amazing performance. Jisung was glad. Daehwi had seemed desperately nervous before going on stage. 

Jung Sewoon: 584 points  
Choi Minki: 427 points

The 'Spring Day' team had had a difficult task, having to adapt one of the most beloved songs in kpop history from one of the biggest groups in kpop history. They more than stood up to the task, overcoming the obstacle with ease. Woojin was the perfect main vocal, with heart-wrenching vocals that almost reached the heights of Jungkook, his voice both cute and stable. The rest of the group supported him with ease, creating the perfect harmonies with ease and beauty. It was a surprise no one cried, though Jisung caught a few sniffles and sobs. His mouth hung open the whole time. 

Yoo Seonho: 642 points  
Kim Yongjin: 441 points

Daniel's team was next. Daniel rose from his seat in front of him, and half-turned towards him, his grin visible even from such an odd angle. 

"Wish me luck," he said, the excitedness of his voice taking Jisung off guard. 

"I'm not that mean," Jisung said, returning the grin as best he could, "If I wish you luck, you could be cursed! Cursed! For your most important stage!" 

Daniel rolled his eyes and shook his head, the grin remaining ever-present. Any of the fear or worry he'd had yesterday had vanished into thin air. Jisung wanted to thank Minseok a million times for it. 

He swallowed loudly. "Break a leg." 

"Hopefully not like yesterday," Daniel responded. He and his dumb grin were gone quicker than Jisung could respond to. 

His eyes met Woodam's for just the barest of moments, who was staring at the place that Daniel had been with an emotion that Jisung couldn't quite place. Then he turned away and he too was gone, leaving Jisung with just an unsettled feeling in his stomach. 

His eyes turned back to the screen just as the other team returned. His heart was hammering so loudly he could hear it in his ears. Nearby, Daehwi's hands were shaking. Seongwoo was gnawing on his lip from a few seats away, eyes locked on the screen as though he was afraid to look away. Samuel looked he was going to vomit. Jisung felt like he'd follow suit if he did throw up. He tried not to focus on the terrified reactions. It made him feel more on edge that he already did and he was already teetering on the brink. 

The group filed on stage, looking considerably brighter than they had the last day. Jisung didn't want their newfound hope to be in vain. He needed them to do well, to succeed and flourish outside their chosen positions. 

Them not getting their chosen positions was the first question that Xiumin asked, directing it at Woodam. 

Woodam laughed nervously. His eyes kept darting to Daniel, that indiscernable expression painted across his features but he quickly turned his focus from the leader and centre to Minseok. "Yeah, my chosen position is vocal" -- a cry from the audience -- "but I worked really hard to improve my dance skills for this. So, please watch me kindly and don't judge too much." 

Minseok grinned. "I'm sure you'll be fantastic. Daniel, as 60th place and the sole identified vampire, you have a lot of reasons to worry for this position evaluation. How do you feel about this challenge?" 

Daniel chewed on his lip before responding, fiddling with his microphone. He broke into that sunlit grin. "I'm confident in the team. I feel they've all worked really hard and I just hope I've been a good enough leader to properly nurture their skills." 

He paused. "If this is my last challenge, which it really seems like it will be, I just hope I managed to deliver a good enough performance to... to make o -- other vampires and myself proud. Thank you." He bowed deeply. 

Minseok's eyes shone with pride, his lips twitching into a smile. He nodded. "The stage of the trainees who chose NSYNC's Pop will start now." 

The stage went dark and Jisung held his breath. 

When it lit up again, Jisung was too afraid to let it go. He couldn't see what Daniel was feeling or thinking or anything from the screen. He couldn't tell if the sheer terror from yesterday was gone or if that was just a fluke, just a stray piece of hope that Daniel had latched onto only for it to turn into nothing. All he could do was sit and wait. And, as much as he was learning to hate it, hope. 

The music started. Jaechan started it off. Everyone began rising from their seats. Daniel looked scared but nowhere near as thoroughly terrified as he had been yesterday. And as Daniel stepped into the centre, the faint stirrings of terror disappeared and all that was left was Daniel's signature laid-back, effortless charisma, occupying the entire stage with his presence with the ease of man doing a job he'd done since he could walk. 

Jisung felt his muscles relax just the slightest inch. Daniel was back. Daniel who could capture the entire audience with little difficulty. Daniel, for whom dancing was as easy and automatic as breathing, like it was something he'd been born doing. And he stepped into his first move, syncing up with the music, he became not just easy to watch but hypnotising. 

It was hard to focus on anyone when Daniel was on stage. He drew the eye to him, through his bright moves and easy-going demeanour, embodying the music with little problem, performing the moves with a sharp softness that only he could achieve, where each move was strong and exact but so friendly and enchanting that it felt like he as doing it purely out of fun. He never missed a beat, never missed his mark, never even slowed. He was, for all intents and purposes, perfect. 

And the wicked smile that crossed Daniel's face, before he entered into his ultimate weapon, the first of several b-boy moves, was like looking fire incarnate in the face, warm and kindling but also dangerous, unpredictable and passionate. And what an ultimate weapon the b-boying was. 

Sorry, Sorry had allowed Daniel to show he was an excellent performer and dancer but there hadn't really been a chance for him to show off his insane abilities. Even if it hadn't been hidden, the flames of his brilliance had been restricted. Now the fire was unchained and the heat threatened to consume everyone whole in its magnificence. Each b-boy move was executed beyond perfectly, exceeding the limits of the intended performers -- humans -- into a league of its own, the likes of which might never be seen again. When he spun, he spun so fast he was reduced to a blur. When he held a difficult position, he made it look effortless, holding for as long as the musical phrase would allow and it seemed as though he could hold forever. When he did a series of quick steps, his legs moved so fast it was so hard to follow, while still somehow keeping in time with the music. 

The dance was over much too quick. It felt like it had only started and it had ended. The entire team was panting and smiling and the music was done and it was over. 

The points were next. Jisung didn't know what he'd do if Daniel didn't win. He couldn't even consider it. It was a terrifying possibility, the mere thought of it not sitting quite right in Jisung's stomach. He held his breath, praying that the audience would value the performance over their hatred of vampirism. Daniel had to get those 100,000 points. He'd earned them. They should've rightfully been his. No one else even came close to the heights he'd skyrocketed to. 

He had to win. There was no alternative. It was a victory or nothing. He had to get those points. No one else deserved them. 

Unless the audience didn't think so. And it was their choice, their decision that mattered. Jisung had no power. He couldn't persaude them to vote for Daniel. Not even Minseok could. They'd defined their priorities so clearly by pressing one button. They had made his climb upwards a treacherous one instead a smooth ride to the top. 

And they'd made up their mind. 

Kang Daniel: 420 points  
Kim Sangbin: 283 points

Just barely a win. Just barely first. When he'd given the performance of a lifetime. Of the century. It stood in a league of its own, the type that would wind its way into myth and legend.

The room sat in shocked silence. Not even Seonho, not even Jisung himself, could talk. No one could quite put into words what they thought of the performance and the result. The entire thing was indescribable. It would have been easier to catch a fly with chopsticks. 

The chatter slowly returned as the next team was called out, a rap team, Jisung couldn't even remember who. Daniel's chest was heaving when he stepped into the room, breathing hard enough that one might think he actually had to breathe. He immediately made his way over to his seat. Before Jisung had a chance to say anything, Seongwoo had turned around to talk to Daniel at rapid speeds with wide eyes. Jisung was secretly glad for it. He wasn't able to think right now, let alone string together a coherent sentence. 

Daniel looked back to him after a while. His grin was so bright it hurt to look at. "So, d'you think I did okay?" 

"Yeah," Jisung said, forcing the unwilling words out of his mouth, "Yeah, you were great." 

He wanted to say so much than that, that he'd been amazing, a force of nature, unstoppable and uncontrollable in all the best ways, that his performance had shaken Jisung to his core, so much so that he couldn't even think clearly anymore and that Daniel had blown his hopes and expectations out of the water, that Daniel had gone above and beyond. That he loathed the audience for not rewarding him properly for such a performance, for something so revolutionary and outstanding and stupefying in its perfection, but he found himself unable to make the words form in his mouth, as though they were trapped somewhere between thought and spoken word.

Daniel's smile flickered. "Hey, I don't really care about the 100,000 points, you know that right? I mean." He swallowed. "It doesn't really matter. I was never going to win it anyway. At least I got the 10,000. If I'm going home, I can accept it. It's fine. I'll get into a group someday." 

Jisung couldn't accept it. He wouldn't accept the audience sending one of the most deserving trainees home. He would scream and riot and threaten and plead and do whatever he could to ensure Daniel made it through to the next round. There was no alternative. Daniel was getting through this round and the next and the next and into the final eleven. Jisung would make sure of it somehow, any way he could. 

Instead he just smiled weakly. "Yeah, I guess. I mean. It wouldn't feel right though. If the audience kicked you out after a performance like that." 

Daniel shrugged. "I can't control the audience." 

Jisung nodded. "Yeah. Yeah. I guess. I know." He could hardly think, his brain was short-circuiting so badly. He needed time to process it all before he actually dove into complicated stuff.

"I'm gonna go to the toilet, I'll be back soon." 

Daniel nodded, his brows furrowed and his eyes stained with concern, a weak smile on his face. "Yeah, okay." 

Jisung shook as he rose from his seat and did his best not to run to the toilets. 

He opened the door, hoping no one would be in there with him, so he could have a few moments to himself. That was all he wanted. Just a second to think. To think all of it through. 

Apparently something that small was too much to ask because the first thing he saw upon entering the bathroom was Woodam. 

He tried to smile brightly at him but the smile was barely returned. Losing wasn't easy, Jisung could relate to that much. And he would've hated to be up against Daniel in the area he shone brightest in. 

"Great performance," he said as reassuringly as he could, "You were really good, considering it isn't even your preferred position." 

Woodam's smile was tight. "Not as good as Daniel." 

Jisung wasn't sure how to reply to that, so he didn't.

Woddam continued. "I don't mean this in a bad way, because I know you two are friends, but it's kind of unfair. That vampires get to compete." 

Jisung glanced at him, unsure of how to respond once more. Daniel was talented, sure, but being a vampire hadn't affected his singing or rapping abilities. Yeah, he was a better dancer now, but it hardly seemed like it mattered when no one wanted to vote for him. 

"Like how are we meant to compete with that? You saw Daniel up there, it was like he was leagues above us and none of us could ever catch up. And we never will because he's a vampire and we're not, so it's kind of pointless. Vampires aren't allowed in the Olympics, they shouldn't be allowed in this." 

"Dance is his speciality," Jisung said, trying to keep his voice firm, "It wasn't anyone else's, so of course he had a head start on you guys." 

Woodam shot him a glare. "That's not what I mean and you know it." 

Jisung fell silent. Part of him couldn't believe that it was Daniel they were arguing over, whether or not he was allowed to compete. It was Daniel, after all. But something nagged at his mind that maybe, just maybe Woodam had a point. Daniel's performance had been something else. No human could ever hope to live up to it, no matter what they did. He'd set an impossible bar and no one except maybe Jonghyun would ever be able to scrape it.

He argued anyway because it was Daniel. Daniel wanted this as badly as the rest of them, it wasn't fair if he was shoved out because of his vampirism. It wasn't fair if he was kicked out for it, when he'd done nothing except exist. 

"This isn't the Olympics," Jisung said firmly, his jaw clenched, "It's determined by audience votes, not talent. So Daniel could be leagues ahead of us and it still wouldn't matter because the audience gets the final say. He's just as likely to be eliminated as the rest of us. You saw that with the elimination." 

"If they didn't know about Daniel's vampirism, or didn't care, he'd be in that number one seat right now," Woodam shot back, "Don't even kid yourself. Talent might not be the end all be all, but it sure as hell is a big factor. How could they not vote for him when he moves like that?"

"Jihoon's number one and he's not exactly known for his talent." 

"Daniel has an advantage in visuals too," Woodam said, his lips pressing together, "He's paler and he's stuck like that forever, so the audience never has to worry about losing that pretty face, unlike with the rest of us." 

"Yeah, because both of those will really help with his ranking," Jisung snapped, "He's currently sitting in 60th, so maybe the audience doesn't agree with you."

"For how long though? They're going to realise eventually that he's too good to ignore and he'll skyrocket upwards. All because he's a vampire --" 

"He was already good at dancing before his turning," Jisung said, trying to keep the fury and indignance out of his voice. 

"But was he as good as he is now?" Woodam asked quietly. 

Jisung fell quiet. "It only affected his dancing," he said weakly, "His rapping and singing abilities are still the same." 

"Yeah, but he has forever to perfect them, doesn't he? Imagine if he was an older vampire, how unfair it would be because he'd be able to practice all of that stuff from before we were born. We wouldn't even stand a chance because of how much of a headstart he'd have." 

"But he isn't an older vampire. So it doesn't matter. Yeah, he's a better dancer, but being a vampire isn't going to automatically fix your dancing." 

"It'll make it a hell of a lot easier to be better at it," Woodam said, eyes narrowed to slits, "You of all people should be most against it." 

Jisung's jaw clenched. "What the fuck does that mean?" 

Woodam hesitated before replying, almost like he was wondering if he'd overstepped. He spoke anyway. "You're not exactly getting any younger, are you?" he said quietly. 

His heart froze for the barest of moments, before white hot flames raced up to consume him, burning away at his mind. He snapped his head over to Woodam, his lip curling, his hands clenching into fists so tight his nails threatening to draw blood. 

"So what," he snarled, his words coming out all choppy and odd, the sheer fury making it hard to breathe, "You think I'm gonna hate every vampire trainee because I'm fucking old and they're never going to be?" 

Woodam shrugged, a tiny movement. "I just think it's unfair," he whispered, "Don't you?"

"No," Jisung spat, his insides twisting and melting under the flames, "No, I fucking don't, I'm overjoyed that Daniel is allowed to compete." 

But he did. He did think it was unfair and it only made him angrier because he was already running on borrowed time and Daniel had all the fucking time in the world and he moped over it all the time, as though immortality and increased strength and speed were somehow a fucking bad thing when Jisung would've fucking killed for them, because then he wouldn't have to worry about all those side-eyes and whispers all the time, all those under-the-breath exchanges wondering why he was so old and making his stomach churn and Jihoon's insanity made more and more sense because Jisung didn't want to have spent so long training for fucking nothing, all because he was that ugly fucking word, old. 

Woodam's eyes stared too deep into his soul for comfort. "You know KQ is debuting an all-vampire group sometime next year?" he said, instead of bringing up what he might have seen there. 

"And?" Jisung snapped. 

Woodam bit his lip. "It kind of looks to me like the end is coming. They'll realise soon enough that they don't need us anymore when vampires are basically perfect idols, prepackaged." 

"Get the fuck out," Jisung growled, slamming the bathroom door open, "And fuck you. Fuck you, from the bottom of my fucking heart." 

Woodam's eyes lingered on his for too long before he ducked his head and scurried out, leaving Jisung alone with his own repulsive thoughts. 

He stood there, staring at the cubicle opposite him for far too long, fear rising up from the depths to unhinge its jaw and eat his mind whole. He was too old. Everyone knew that. He was far too old for the whole idol thing and he probably only had about five years more in the industry, not counting the military service before people began mumbling that he was much too old to be an idol. 

And Daniel had forever. He'd never have to so much as fret about growing old, about being rendered obsolete as a younger, more talented group of idols began pushing their way up through the music charts. Daniel had forever to perfect his craft, to get accustomed to everything, to explore every part of the idol industry and Jisung had no time left at all. 

Some ugly part of him couldn't help but hate Daniel for it. How could he dare to be fucking upset over it, when he'd gotten something Jisung could only ever dream of? Jisung would kill to stop aging. He would murder to stop the cruel hand of time crushing all he had into dust. And Daniel was upset over it. It wasn't fucking fair. He fucking hated him. He hated every inch of his being, every perfect, indestructible fibre that he was made of, all his cursed flawlessness. It wasn't fucking fair. 

And then he remembered that look on Daniel's face when he'd turned, the horror and heartbreak and distraught and he hated himself. Just because he would've loved to be immortal, didn't mean Daniel wanted it. 

He tore his eyes away from the cubicle, turning around with awkward, sluggish movements, guilt and hatred churning in his stomach. The glance he caught of himself in them mirror only made that hatred burn stronger and he looked away quickly, vomit burning his throat. 

He sat back down next down to Daniel in silence, shooting down any attempts at conversation before they could take hold, ignoring the hurt on Daniel's face. He couldn't afford to talk, not when he was like this. Not when he might slip up and say something scathing and wreck the confidence Daniel had just regained. It was better he just stayed quiet. Daniel eventually got the message and spent the rest of the time talking to Seongwoo, with occasional concerned glances at him. 

He was glad to be called up. He wasn't sure if he could stand looking at Daniel and thinking much too deeply about all of it. Hopefully this would distract from it. Hopefully he could focus on the stage. He needed to. He rose from his seat, not even daring to glance at Daniel, just in case. He had to stay focused now, more than ever. He was up against Jaehwan and Sungwoon and Minhyun and even he had no chance of winning, he had to give it his best shot. He had to make sure he hadn't failed as a leader like how he had as a centre. 

The rest of the team followed him out. He wished they hadn't. It gave it too much gravitas, made the leader role feel more important than it was. More important than Jisung had told himself it was. He didn't want to carry any responsibility with him. The less responsible he felt the better. He already had enough guilt and insecurities to deal with. He didn't want anymore.

The waiting before going onstage was torturous. They could hear the other vocal group - "Amazing Kiss" - through the gap in the stage and they sounded so good it made Jisung feel sick to his stomach. His hands were still sweating, making it feel like the mic was about to slip from his hands. 

He felt a tap on his shoulder and turned around to see Hyunbin, eyes on the ground and looking so unbearably tiny for someone who normally towered over everyone. His hands were shaking. 

"Hyung, I don't think I can do this," he whispered, his voice low and hushed. 

Jisung pushed all of his own problems to the side. They weren't priority right now. He pulled the brightest, most convincing smile he could manage. 

"Hyunbin, you can. You'll be okay. You've practiced harder than anyone else in the group. You can do it." 

Hyunbin looked up to meet his eyes. His lip trembled and his voice was shaky. "I can't. I really can't. Why did I choose this? I can't sing at all, I sound terrible, no one's gonna vote for me, no one at all, I'll be awful. Maybe I should just not go on or something, it'll be better for the team." 

"No," Jisung said firmly, resting his hand on Hyunbin's shoulder, "We need you. We can't do this without. Don't let all that practice go to waste. And I'll be right beside you. If you feel sick with nerves, just focus on me instead of the audience. Don't do it for them, but for yourself. You deserve to perform after all the time and effort you put in. And they'll see that effort in your performance and they'll vote for you." 

Hyunbin just nodded, and his eyes fell to the ground again. He hoped something had gotten through to him. 

There was no time for any more comforts. The next team was off stage and they were being called on. 

He turned to the others, trying to thing of something poetic and memorable to say for the performance. Something to lift their spirits. Something that guide them through to the next round with relative ease, to soothe their worries and terrors, to help them find confidence in their voices and perform to the best of their abilities. To show the audience what they were capable of and why they should vote for them. Why they were worthy. Why they all deserved to get 10,000 points, even if the audience couldn't give it to them.

His mind went blank. He could hear the staff hurrying them on. All he managed was, "Fighting!" 

The others smiled weakly, following suit with mumbles of fighting in some of the shakiest and most off-balance voices Jisung had ever heard. 

And then they were pushed on. A screaming crowd came into view, so loud that Jisung couldn't hear himself think and he could just about see Minseok on the other side of the stage smiling brightly in their direction. His heart clenched. He couldn't let Minseok down. He had to show him a perfect performance. He had to show the audience a perfect performance. He had to try and make them forget about the other performances and solely focus on them. Jisung wasn't sure if they'd be able to but they had no choice but to try. 

He glanced back at the others and the masks had all come on. Everyone was wearing a generic, idol smile, like nothing had ever been wrong back stage. His stomach lurched. He started the introduction.

Minseok swiftly began with the questions, his mask much subtler than theirs. It was still unnerving to see it on someone who was normally so free and geniune with his emotions. 

"YGK plus trainee, Hyunbin?" 

Hyunbin looked up, eyes glimmering with an odd combination of excitement and terror. This was the easy part. The rush from getting on stage and seeing all those people cheering for you. The hard part was yet to come. 

Hyunbin was answering now, his smile looking a lot more genuine than any of the rest of them. Maybe he was genuinely excited. Maybe the nerves had been extinguished that easily. Maybe he'd been okay.

Jaehwan was asked a question next. All Jisung could focus on was the crowd. They were looking up at them with such expectant and hopeful faces, like they thought the performance was something to be treasured, already, and they hadn't even started. There were so many people, so many people watching them, watching him, all ready prepared to be impressed. So many eyes, burning a hole in his soul, studying him and judging him and thinking a million little thing he would never know about. He looked away quickly, keeping his eyes on the others instead, who were safe and known and comfortable, not like the mysteries and secret the thousands of people held. Jisung never thought he was one for stage fright but in that moment the gazes threatened to suffocate him. It was on him if the performance was awful. He was leader. It would be his fault. 

They had to live up to their expectations. They really had no choice but to. They needed those votes. No. They wanted those votes. Not one member of their team was in an at-risk position.

It felt greedy to ask for them. Jisung was sitting in third place, he didn't need them at all, not in the slightest. Daniel needed them more him, there were a dozen trainees who needed those points more than he did, it would be wrong to ask for them, they didn't deserve them, not in the slightest, not at all, they were stealing them from people wh-

"MMO's Yoon Jisung, do you have any words for the National Producers?" 

Jisung's head snapped to Minseok, his soft smile like an anchor in the chaos. He could do this. He deserved those points. He was talented. He looked out to the audience, his smile matching Minseok's. The thousands of hopeful faces stared back at him and he met their gaze. 

His voice came out stronger than he'd expected. "We've prepared a really cool stage that I feel is a representation of our feelings while listening to Downpour." 

He could see Chungha in the audience. His heart skipped a beat. He had to do the song justice not only for the fans, but for the IOI themselves? He felt bile rising in his throat. He would let them down, he knew he would, he couldn't do this at all, not with IOI here, no matter how good it was, it would pale in comparison, they couldn't do it, they couldn't, they couldn't, they c- 

He stumbled on his words and moved on. "Please listen to us with open hearts and minds!" The biggest grin he could manage spread across his face and he pumped his fist in air. "Fighting!" 

A wave of "Fighting!" rippled through the crowd in reply. Minseok mentioned something about getting ready and his mic felt so slick with sweat that it might slip out of his hands at any minute. He never let the smile falter. 

They took their places, a hush settling over the crowd as entire arena waited in silence. Last vocal act. Penultimate performance. They had a lot to live up to. It had to be perfect. Jisung couldn't let it be any less. Not again. No more mistakes. This was their very last chance. 

The wait was shorter than the previous too. Slightly more bearable. They could do this. They had to do this. Jisung wanted them to do this. 

Hyunbin looked ready to vomit. What little confidence he had regained from interacting with the audience had vanished and his shoulders were trembling. Jisung was too far away to offer a comforting hand. It was painful to watch, seeing Hyunbin so scared and not being able to do anything about it. Being helpless. He seemed to be helpless much too often these days. 

The lights were turning on. Mist was rolling across the stage. 

He looked down. They were starting. He didn't dare look at the crowd, not yet. Not until he was assured. Not until he was confident it was going well. He didn't want to see the disappointment on their faces. On Chungha's face. He should've chosen a different song. 

Jisung could feel the heat of the spotlight burning his back and then Minhyun's sweet voice broke the silence softly, easing the quiet in noise with his gentle melody. It filled the room, even despite how hushed it was, enveloping all who heard it in a soft, strange blanket, woven of comfort and melancholy. 

Hyunbin came in next, his deep, honey voice contrasting with Minhyun's light, sweet one, the two complimenting each other with ease. It trembled in all the best ways, creating a vulnerability that only Hyunbin could've achieved. The crowd cried out for him but they only blended into the background, not even daring to overpower the melody. 

Jisung took a deep breath just as Hyunbin's phrase came to an end. He couldn't break the beauty of what had been started, he had no choice but to ensure he could carry it for just a few moments, to push it forward into a new phase of enchantment. His eyes were closed, blocking out the audience he feared so much. Focus on the music. He had to focus on the music. The melody, the lines that came next, the emotion.

He opened his mouth and let all of his insecurities pour out in the few lines he had, using his fears to bolster the tragedy of it all, even if the lyrics didn't express it. His own voice reflected back through his earpiece and instead of crushing him, it pushed him forward, pushed him through the crescendo and then the abrupt pull away, allowing the music he'd somehow managed to create to explode in his ears, doing exactly what he'd hoped it would do. 

Jaehwan stepped in, his voice so beautiful that it felt like it was not meant to be heard by human ears, haunting and tragic, as though crying out about his own pain. Every soar was effortless, every note sliding into the next with such grace that Jisung's breath was stolen from him.

Sungwoon followed, and his voice watered and cried in all the ways a voice could, and more than that, pushed those tears onto those who heard it, casting a spell over them so that they would share in his pain. There seemed to be wells of it, so genuine and so heartbreaking, it didn't matter if he'd created the pain solely for the song. He was pleading with the audience and they had no choice but to listen. Then it mixed with Jaehwan's voice and they soared together, the harmonies weaving in and out with each other and creating something so breathtaking it threatened to summon Athena to strike them from the earth for threatening her. 

Jisung took back over, cradling the enchantment they'd created and pushing it to be something even greater with his voice, his own lower voice opposing and supporting the lighter two that had come before it. He'd dared to open his eyes and the audience looked starstruck, silent as a grave. He could see Chungha and her eyes were wide and her hand placed gently over her chest as though attempting to ease a racing heart. He pushed onwards, trying to make it as soulful and hypnotising as he possibly could and somehow achieving it, his fingers brushing the clouds he'd long since thought were out of reach.

Jaehwan and Minhyun joined in with light, pretty harmonies, bolstering it to heights Jisung had never even dreamed of. Sungwoon moved into his lines, his voice powerful and pleading, sounding like he was on the verge of breaking, as though his voice was just about to crack. The tragic undercurrent was upheld by Minhyun's harmonies and then into his melody, his voice so airy and ethereal, it sounded like what Jisung thought an angel must sound like, so perfect and pretty that no flaws could be perceived. 

Jisung all but wandered into his harmonies, now looking at his teammates, who were singing so passionately and proudly, showing the audience their pain so clearly it felt like they'd been stripped naked and none of them had so much as stumbled. Even Hyunbin was singing with all the power he could muster and Jisung's heart swelled at the sight of it. The confidence he never thought would come had finally manifested and it was beautiful and touching and surreal in all the ways he could've asked for. 

Jaehwan and Sungwoon paired up once more, pushing the crescendo to its limits, using the others' power to launch themselves into the stratosphere with just their voices alone. It went higher and higher and higher, heartfelt and powerful and the song had taken on an identity of its own, given life by the five of them, encompassing all their agony and it moved higher and higher and higher and --

Silence. 

The crowd was crying out for them, screaming their names, all of them and Jisung was drunk on euphoria, on their cheers and on their own voices, the song they'd built and nurtured. But despite the cheers, it felt like the world hung on standstill, on the edge of a cliff. They'd entered the eye of the storm, the momentary calm before another explosion of music and sound. 

Then out of the silence, Hyunbin's voice. Quiet, low and sounding so scared that Jisung thought he would stop singing. But he didn't. And his deep, soft voice eased the audience back into the song, back into the melancholia and fear and suffering and the tragic beauty of it all, spellbinding even to those creating it. 

Hyunbin looked back, his lower lip trembling and Jisung met his terrified gaze with a soft smile. He joined in, guiding him like a lost child towards the heights they'd reached. Hyunbin's eyes were closed but Jisung kept his comforting gaze on him anyway, trying to return that lost confidence to him before they entered the climax of the song. 

And the music rose again, and with it, their voices, returning to the glorious heights of a few seconds prior. Jaehwan belted out the most powerful and most unreachable high note Jisung had ever heard from him, as though he wasn't tied down by mortal contraints anymore. The four of them sang below him, almost like steps towards him, guiding the audience towards his heights, so far above all of them. The melody and belts mingled to form something Jisung had never heard in rehearsal, something so raw and beautiful he didn't think they'd ever be able to capture it again. 

And they returned back to the ground and Minhyun's sweet voice, underscored by Jaehwan's, now quiet and subtle, bidding the audience goodbye and bringing the song to an end in the prettiest way possible. The final notes played and it was over. 

He could hear Hyunbin sniffling and he wanted to reach out, wanted to comfort him and tell him he'd been more than good, he'd been fantastic and amazing and exceeded all the expectations Jisung had had for him. Not yet. He couldn't yet. 

The audience voted. He held Hyunbin's hand, trying to comfort him in any way he could, trying not to look at the people who'd determine his fate for too long. It took only a few seconds.

They walked backstage. The other three members comforted Hyunbin. The tears had slowed. He squeezed the boy's hand. 

Back into the results room. The seats were cold. The screen glared at them. Jisung didn't even have a chance to soak in the beauty of what they'd created. It didn't matter how good it was. What mattered was this. The result. The votes. The 10,000 points. 

Hyunbin came last. It was a surprise to no one but that made it no less heartbreaking. Hyunbin's face fell. Jisung wrapped his other hand around his. 

"You did goo -- fantastic. You were amazing. I'm so proud of you. The result doesn't matter."

But it did. They all knew it mattered. And Hyunbin was the lowest ranked of them. He needed those points the most. 

Jisung was second last. He'd expected it as much. It still hurt. He'd thought -- he'd hoped that he would've been higher. He'd known it was impossible. He'd asked for too much. He looked away from the screen. Clearly, he wasn't as good at singing as he thought he was. He said it was okay. It wasn't. The shame burned his chest like a brand, a mark of his incompetence. 

Sungwoon sat in third. For a flash, he looked almost angry at that, frustrated at the very least. He said nothing. The mask came up, and with it the smile. 

Jaehwan came first. It was no surprise. The results had been just as predictable as they'd expected. Audiences were predictable. High notes and pretty faces was what they liked best, everything else be damned. Jisung could see now why he hadn't debuted. He had neither. And the audience was punishing him for it. 

He'd managed to pass the last elimination without the 3000 points. Hopefully he could do the same here.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Well, um, it's been a 100,000 words and now we're done the Position Evaluation. Sorry for the character assassination of Woodam, I love him, I really do but as with Jaehwan, I wanna show a wide variety of views on vampires ^-^  
> No prizes for guessing who the first all-vampire group is xD


	21. XX

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> We're onto the Concept Evaluationnnnnn! Yayyyyyyy! I kind of can't believe how far it's come, we're like more than halfway through now. Which is wild. 
> 
> but there is a lot more to come, so hold on people and i hope you enjoy this chapter :D

If there was one group that Jisung didn't trust, it was the audience, especially when Mnet was standing behind them, pushing them towards their choices.

So putting the choice of what concept he got and possibly his fate from that moment onwards made Jisung deeply uncomfortable. 

Jisung wanted to love the audience, wanted to bask in the heights of euphoria they'd brought him, the confidence they'd instilled in him, the praise they'd bestowed upon him but each let down hit harder than the last. And they'd let him down so often.

So he had no choice but to hope that they were on his side for this round, for the first time since he'd been voted into third. 

But the 13th sticker on his chest forced him to think otherwise. Out of the top eleven. They didn't love him enough to consider him for debut, not anymore. 

But the change in rankings hadn't only brought negativity. Daniel had risen up from his position at the bottom, to sit in 40th place. Which was so close to the cut off mark that Jisung almost dared to hope that he wouldn't be eliminated. Five places. He only had to rise five places. He'd already risen twenty, five was just a fraction more. 

The position of first place had fallen to Jonghyun and Jihoon had been pushed into second place, which everyone could see he was more frustrated and upset about it than he let on. Jihoon's mask was better than most but even it cracked. 

The morning began with BoA introduced them to the next challenge, the Concept Evaluation, now with 100,000 extra votes at stake for the overall winner and 20,000 each for the rest of the team. Then they were shown the song options that they couldn't choose from and the creators. 

The fact that they were actually getting a chance to record and perform an original song felt surreal. It felt like someone would snap their fingers and he'd wake up in his bed back in MMO Entertainment with no hope of debut and and known by no one. He was still in shock as he listened to each of the songs, so much so that he barely processed any of them, catching snippets and pieces as he floated in and out of awareness. If he did manage to debut, would this be what it was like the whole time? Having the chance to do something that no one else had done before, to make it your own and yours alone? To mess with something new, something fresh, something no one, not even him, had heard before? That they wouldn't be compared to anyone, people would be comparing others to them? That they would be the standard?

The 13th sticker on his chest felt like weighed a thousand tons.

Each song caused ripples of chatter and excitement and over-the-top expressions in the trainees, the electric atmosphere becoming more and more alight as it went on. It reached its peak with Hyuna showing up on screen. 

Obviously, at the sight of such a big name idol, everyone basically peed their pants a little. It was the _Hyuna_ , the one and only Hyuna. Everyone wanted to work on that one. Who wouldn't want to work with Hyuna? Jisung wanted to work Hyuna. You'd have to be high on something not to want work with her. 

Then again, he didn't get a choice as to whether or not he got to work with Hyuna. Maybe that was why they weren't allowed to choose. Working with her would be the obvious choice. 58 trainees choosing to working with her would be a lot. 

The wait after the songs had been revealed, especially with the revelation of Triple H working on one of the songs, felt full-on torturous. And then the result was delayed by BoA's announcement of the trainees who'd cheated. 

"Now, before announcing the list of trainees for each song, there is an important notice," she said, her face grave. 

The excited chatter died immediately. Everyone knew what she was referring to, and those who didn't were smart enough not to continue talking.

"Trainee Kim Dongbin and trainee Lee Kiwon. The trainees who I called out have published posts worthy of controversies regarding the selection of the evaluation song through SNS, right?"

Jisung couldn't find it in himself to be mad or disgusted with them, even as some of the trainees around him wore expressions of those emotions. The temptation to cheat, especially at this stage in the competition was nigh overpowering. The end looked so close, the final eleven almost within reach, all it needed was a little guidance. Jisung had thought about more times than he wanted to admit. Especially now, sitting at thirteenth, just a fraction outside of where he needed to be. So close he could touch it. All it would need was a small push. Maybe even from him. He didn't know how he'd held. Maybe because he remembered than it wasn't just his future at stake in the competition. 

"We have placed a penalty whereby the songs which became an issue for these trainees will not be assigned to them. Therefore, the other 55 trainees have been arranged first through the national producers' matching vote results, and the penalised trainees have been automatically assigned the remaining places."

Dongbin, from nearby, nodded dutifully, his eyes wet and no smile even daring to appear on his face, not even a sad one. Kiwon just looked grave, his face unreadable under the weight of his seriousness. 

They moved on quickly. The chatter returned. They began handing out the confirmation of the evaluation song every one had gotten. But the atmosphere of unsettlement lingered, as though something tiny was off and no one could quite figure out what. 

"First up is Pledis trainee Kang Dongho." 

Dongho walked up and took the card, grinning nervously. He turned to face them as he opened and his expression suddenly grew a lot more ambiguous, almost confused. He left still smiling but it was strange one.

Hyunbin followed him. He smiled massively after opening his and all but raced out of the room. 

S. How's Kim Namhyung came next. He barely even reacted to his, just nodding.

Samuel was fourth to find out. The 17 on his chest hurt to look at more than he thought it would. Another person knocked out the final eleven. He just hoped Samuel managed to scrape his way back in, somehow. Jisung didn't deserve to be above him, especially considering how talented he was. But the audience were unpredictable and talent seemed to rarely be the guiding force in their decisions. If it had been, Jisung would've been knocked out a while back. 

Samuel's brows pulled together upon opening the envelope and his eyes darted over it twice more, nodding each time before understanding finally dawned on his face and he raced out, flushing red and grinning brightly.

It continued like that, confusion cropping up amongst the reactions more often than Jisung had anticipated. It was a while before his name was called up, at which stage most of the others had already left.

"MMO Entertainment's Yoon Jisung." 

His head snapped up and he walked up to BoA with shaking knees. He'd been excited up until to this point but it had faded quickly. What if he ended up in a concept he hated? What if the audience was planning on sabotaging him? What if it was something really tricky, something he couldn't deliver on and he let himself and the audience down? 

He accepted the envelope with the best smile he could manage, trying to match BoA's gentle but enthusiastic one. He didn't have to see his face to see his attempt failed miserably.

He turned back to the audience, grasping onto the envelope so tightly that his nails were making indents in the paper. He met Daniel's eyes for just a moment, dancing with light and excitement and the smile felt a lot more genuine. 

Nonetheless, he opened the envelope with trembling hands. And then his eyebrows furrowed.

The card just said 'A'. That wasn't a song option. Unless he'd been really zoned out or something. Had he been asleep for this part? 

His eyes narrowed and he scanned over it again and again, feeling well and truly stumped. Then he realised it meant room A and he was just a massive idiot. He grinned brightly, nervously and raced off, eternally grateful that there was no such thing as telepathy. He didn't need people to know how dumb he actually was. The illusion of smart Jisung was something he needed to preserve, if only just for a little while. 

He opened the door to practice room A and popped his head inside to see most of the trainees already in there. Then his eyebrows raised upon seeing who was actually in there. 

Stepping inside properly, he stared blankly at the group made up of the weirdest combination of trainees. And the sticker on the wall over the sign saying what song they'd gotten. 

Samuel stared at him, his eyes widening. "Jisung?" 

"Wait, why are you and Taehyun in this group, I want an easy dance," Jisung said, walking over to them with the most exaggerated expression of horror on his face, "And Woodam? And baby Woojin? This is gonna be really high-pitched, isn't it?"

The desire to walk out was so strong that Jisung was surprised he resisted it. He didn't want to be in the same group as both Woodam. He was still in a position where he would've been glad to strangle him. Woodam's nervous glances towards him weren't particularly subtle either. But he shoved that anger down, even as it wanted to swallow him whole. He was the eldest. He wasn't meant to pick fights with others. Hopefully Woodam would be eliminated and he wouldn't have to deal with him any longer. He just grinned instead of ripping him to shreds.

Taehyun rolled his eyes and shook his head, a faint grin dancing on his face. "We think it's Show Time because of that." 

Jisung pouted. "So... no Hyuna?" 

"It might not be Show Time," Kim Sangbin said, sounding like he was a priest who doubted what he was preaching. 

Samuel folded his arms. "I think it's Show Time. I mean, me and Taehyun can do the dance break and Woodam and Woojin can hit the high notes."

"Woojin has an unfair advantage if it is Show Time because his voice has dropped yet so he'll actually be able to sing it," Jisung said, already lamenting his pain and the song hadn't even been confirmed yet.

And he actually liked Show Time. He just wouldn't be able to sing it. Maybe he'd be able to dance to it, but thinking of the dance break that seemed pretty unlikely. 

Woojin just grinned brightly like the little brat that he was and didn't even offer a response.

"I'm sure you can rap or something," Samuel said, a little helpfully.

Sangbin, Namhyung and Sanggyun turned to Samuel, matching expressions of disgust on their faces. 

"What about us?" Sanggyun said. 

Sangbin followed him, still clinging onto desperate hope. "It might not be Show Time." 

Taehyun spoke up then, pulling all the attention to him with ease. "We might not all get through. Don't begin getting mad at your possible positions." 

A silence fell over the room. The dark cloud of the drawing elimination had returned, after being momentarily forgotten. 

Woodam broke the silence, a grin on his face. "Seeing as everyone is so caught up about what song it might, hyung, as the eldest, which song do you think it is?" 

Jisung clenched his jaw, refusing to meet Woodam's eyes. The temptation to ignore what had been said was overwhelming, to just pretend Woodam didn't fucking exist. It ate away at him like dog chewing at a bone but the others were looking at him expectantly. And he wasn't going to let them see he was fighting with Woodam, especially not when Mnet would leap on the chance to show some sort of fight between them and he didn't need that shitty press, especially when he'd already fallen ten places. 

Instead, he hummed and stroked an imaginary beard, as though it would imbue him the power to analyse what song it was. "I, with all my knowledge as the like the third eldest person in this competition, believe that... It may be Show Time." 

"No, hyung, please take it back," Sangbin said, laughing weakly. Real terror dwelled in his eyes despite the laugh. 

"The elder has spoken. He will say no more," Jisung said, folding his arms and pretending to sleep. 

Woo Jinyoung from beside him prodded him. "Considering a lot of us are hoping that this'll be our ticket to the higher ranks, could we have an explanation, O Mighty Elder?"

Jisung opened one eye. "Yeah, okay." He sat up. "So what do we all have in common?" 

Jinyoung opened his mouth to answer and Jisung shook his head. "It's probably best if I leave it rhetorical, I don't want someone saying something inappropriate in front the kids."

"Hey!" Samuel said, folding his arms, "I'm not a kid."

Lee Woojin looked like he too was about to protest but, for once using that single brain cell of his, he kept his mouth shut and realised that he was a kid. 

"Samuel, you're sixteen. Literally everyone else in this room, except Lee Woojin and he doesn't count because he's a baby, is at least five years older than you. You are a certified child, as dictated by me, the Elder." 

Samuel opened his mouth, ready to say something else in protest before realising he was indeed a certified kid. 

"So the thing we all have a load of energy in common. And... you know what song needs energy? Yeah, it's Show Time. So yeah, that's what I think anyway." 

"That actually makes way too much sense," Sangbin said, the blood rushing from his face. 

Jinyoung looked up at the sticker covering the plaque with the name of the song. "We have twelve people here, right? So, what are we waiting for?"

Taehyun answered. "There's still Lee Kiwon and Kim Dongbin." 

"Oh, yeah." 

"I didn't expect them to cheat, if I'm being honest," Namhyung said suddenly, "I can understand why they'd want to but I thought it'd be someone else." 

Sanggyun looked over at him, his brows furrowed. "Who?" 

Namhyung shrugged. "I dunno. Kang Daniel." 

Jisung snapped his head over to Namhyung, eyes narrowed to slits. Out of the corner of his eye, he could see Samuel glaring at him too, and Woojin was staring with an expression of something that lingered between fury and disgust. It filled him with more pride than he thought it would. They were willing to fight for Daniel too. He wasn't alone, for what felt like the first time. 

"I mean, he's a vampire." 

Woojin opened his mouth, looking ready to rip off Namhyung's face in protest. 

Namhyung shook his head. "Sorry, I phrased that badly. I mean, he was sitting at the bottom last week, plus he's a vampire. So people are less likely to vote for him. I thought about cheating a he-- whole lot more than I should've and I'm human and I was in fifty-fourth place. Not 60th. And, well the concept he's gonna get is obvious." 

Jisung furrowed his brows at that. "What do you mean?"

"'Open Up' is the sexy one, right? So he's gonna get that one. Because he's a vampire. Everyone loves a sexy vampire, all that stuff. I mean, they're a he -- whole lot prettier than us, so it's easier for them to be sexier too." 

"Did you forget vampires can vote too? They might not want Daniel doing a sexy concept." 

Namhyung just shrugged in reply. "I'm just voicing my own thoughts. You don't have to agree with me." 

Jisung let it go. He wasn't in the mood to discuss the possibility of Daniel getting or not getting a sexy concept. It hardly mattered in the grand scheme of things. It wouldn't matter at all if he didn't get through the next elimination round. And he was already fighting with Woodam, he didn't need to fight with Namhyung too.

Taehyun spoke up after a while, through the chatter, his eyes on the staff in the room. "I think it's done now." 

"The time has come. The moment you've all been waiting for," Hoeseung said, in a low, dramatic voice. 

Jisung began the drumbeat on the floor, and most of the others followed suit, until it was probably heard in the other rooms. 

Samuel interrupted the drumbeat. "Wait, wait, let's stand up." 

"Why, so if someone faints, they can really catch the full blow of the floor?" Jisung said, miming a fainting action. 

"No!" 

"Yeah, okay, everyone up," Taehyun said, rolling his eyes and grinning as he clambered to his feet, "We all know this is let's make Taehyun feel bad for being so small time."

Hyunmin did the same. "Hyunbin isn't even here, so there's no one here to tower over you." 

Jisung turned to Taehyun and lay his hand on the trainee's shoulder, a fake solemn expression on his face. "Just remember that Sungwoon is smaller and take comfort in that, O Tiny Man." 

Taehyun just shook his head incredulously. 

Jisung put his hands up in surrender. "You brought it up, not me, so don't pin this mess on me." 

Hyunmin strode over to the sign when everyone was up on their feet. "Should I take it off?" 

"Wait, we have to announce it," Samuel said, just as Hyunmin was about to peel it off.

Hoeseung dragged his hands down his face. "Samuel, we're doing a lot of waiting here." 

Sangbin's expression was pained. "Let's just announce it and move on with it." 

"Okay, everyone together," Taehyun said, taking charge because he was the only marginally mature one there, "One, two, three." 

"This is the song that the national producers would like for you to perform!" they all basically yelled in tandem.

"Three, two, one!" Samuel added, just for some extra spice probably. 

Hyunmin pulled the sticker too hard or the wrong way or something and off came the entire thing. An immediate uproar followed, with everyone giving out and Hyunmin kept apologising and a staff member had to come and fix it. 

"Hyunmin, what the heck was that, you're holding the entire place up here," Jisung said, grinning as he gestured wildly. 

"We have people to meet, places to go!" Hoeseung added, shaking his head in the exaggerated display of awe and offense Jisung had ever seen. 

"Never again. We shouldn't have trusted you, Hyunmin, how could you let us down like this," Jinyoung said.

Hyunmin's face was bright red. "I'm sorry, I'm sorry, I didn't mean to --" 

Taehyun stepped forward. "Everyone, I'm delighted to announce that you're all eliminated!"

"Were you trying to rip it off the wall or something, oh my God," Samuel said, dragging his hands down his face.

Hyunmin looked so sheepish and apologetic that Jisung almost felt bad. 

"The wall was literally shaking," Hoeseung said before his mouth formed an 'o', "Hyunmin, are you the other vampire?" 

The casual nature of the comment made Jisung's stomach twist. It was just a joke, sure, but if it came out that Jonghyun was the other vampire, his entire career ruined. He'd looked so scared at the thought of Jisung telling anyone. And they were just joking about it, lightly, as though it all meant nothing. As though the revelation of the actual other vampire wouldn't destroy someone's entire life. 

"What, no!" Hyunmin almost screeched. 

Taehyun cleared his throat, looking very grave. "I have something to confess, guys. I'm the other vampire." He made fangs out of his index fingers. 

"Oh my, what flesh-like fangs you have, Mr. Vampire," Jinyoung said, prodding the flesh fangs. 

"All the better to poke you with," Taehyun said, jabbing Jisung in the stomach with his finger. 

Jinyoung stumbled back, letting out a dramatic gasp. "No! The monster has eaten me! It has sucked my blood and now I will die a grisly death, cursing the nasty fiend who has killed me to prolong its undeserved immortality!" 

Taehyun snorted, kicking Jinyoung in the shins and Jisung felt sick to his stomach. 

"Guys, guys, let's just go for take two," Namhyung said, trying to re-establish order amongst the chaos. 

Jisung was glad to move on. It was surprisingly easy to get everyone back into place, considering how chaotic they'd gotten, if only momentarily. 

Woojin started up the countdown again. "Three --"

"Don't use any of your freaky vampire strength!" Hoeseung whisper-shouted. 

Hyunmin flushed red. "I'm not a vampire!" 

"Seems like something a vampire would say," Jinyoung whispered to Hoeseung.

"You guys literally saw me eat a full meal yesterday!" 

"Could've been a ploy to throw us, vampire detector extraordinaires, off the scent."

Jisung cleared his throat loudly, trying to keep his hands from shaking because it was so casual, it was all so laid-back when the real vampire had been scared to death of his identity being revealed. "Three, two, one!" 

Hyunmin ripped it off with a little less force, to reveal 'Show Time' in big black lettering underneath. 

Immediately the room erupted into chaos. 

Samuel basically began worshipping the sign like it was God on earth, Woodam ran over to Samuel to join him in the ritual of giving thanks to the sign, Sangbin looked like he was ready to burst into tears, Sanggyun looked like he'd successfully given up on life, Hyunmin and Hoeseung and Jinyoung were dancing in wild, dangerous circles, Woojin and Taehyun were hugging and screaming at each other. 

The staff somehow managed to restore order for enough time for them to actually move on and get something done, which considering the nature of this group, was pretty impressive. 

"You'll be split into two teams until the elimination, so you'll have two temporary centres," one of the staff members said as soon as everyone shut up. 

Hoeseung nodded seriously and then preceded to say, "spicing up the drama," which rid him of any levity he'd ever managed to acquire. 

"So, who wants to be centre?" Jinyoung asked, looking around at everyone else.

"Maybe we should listen to the song through and then choose?" Taehyun said, because despite being as all over the place as the rest of them, he actually seemed to have a functioning brain. 

"Yeah, that's actually a pretty good idea," Jisung said. 

One of the staff members turned on the song. 

Jisung laughed nervously as they listened. "This is higher than I remember, is it up an octave?"

"Yeah and the centre has to be really good at singing," Woojin said. 

Hoeseung sat back, his eyes wide. "The main vocal parts are so high, wow, Woodam, I think you'll be the only one able to reach them." 

Jisung looked over at the maknae. "What about Woojin, our prepubescent member?" 

Woojin flushed red, but he couldn't tell if it was a result of anger at the insult or embarrassment at the weird compliment. Jisung would've accepted either. 

He met Woodam's eyes for just a moment and he regretted bringing up Woojin. Woodam's eyes were blazing with hellbent determination, as though he'd already claimed the main vocal role and his territory was being threatened. Those were the eyes of a man who had made his decision to get into the next round, willing to drag himself up the rankings through sheer force of will alone, solely to claim the position of main vocal in Show Time. 

Jisung understood, strangely. He'd lost out of claiming a vocal position in the Position Evaluation. This could be Woodam's last chance to prove himself to the National Producers, to show he was worthy of the final eleven. If Jisung had an opportunity to be main vocal, he would've killed to keep it. He couldn't fault Woodam for determination. 

But he could fault him for everything else. He looked away quickly, acid burning on his tongue, terrified of the cruel words that might leave his lips if he so much as dared to open his mouth. And Woodam would fucking deserve them, but Jisung didn't want them to be heard here, in front of all the cameras, in front of the world.

"So, who wants to go for centre?" Taehyun asked, after the song had finished. 

"I mean, keep in mind it's temporary, kids," Jisung said. 

Taehyun nodded and was in the middle of repeating that the question of who wanted to be centre when Woodam's hand flew up. 

"I want to try it." 

"Anyone else? Just Woodam? It doesn't matter if you're a rapper." 

Samuel raised his hand. 

Jisung really, really wanted a chance to be centre again. To do it right this time. Maybe if he managed to get it right, he'd erase the disaster that was his first evaluation and replace it with something better. Show his worth somehow. Maybe he could sway the audience back into giving him his position in the final eleven. Maybe it would wrong the rights of the previous rounds, show everyone he was talented, he was worth more than the D that he'd been branded with in the beginning and the 13 he was branded with now. He was able to be a good centre. He could get them the win. He had to. He couldn't face another defeat. 

He raised his hand cautiously. 

Hoeseung followed suit, looking around at everyone else as he did so.

"Okay, four volunteers, good. So, we're going to have to hear you sing first of all, because if you are centre, you're going to be doing a lot of singing. And a lot of high-pitched singing."

And well, there went his chances. Jisung was not a high-note man. Maybe if he was born again, he'd ask for the ability to singing really high because it was getting frustrating. Hard to get people to notice your singing when you can't do a flashy high note.

His chances of redemption slipped from his fingers before he ever truly got a hold of them. 

"Well then, I'm out." 

Taehyun stared at him incredulously and Hoeseung looked like he was only holding back a laugh. 

"I don't think the high notes should be the focus," Dongsu said suddenly, "I think the image should be more important, then focus on the singing." 

"Okay, I'm back in." 

"That was three decisions in a minute, make up your mind, hyung," Taehyun said, that incredulous smile still wide on his face. 

Woodam was grinning from ear to ear. "Don't you think you're a bit easily persuaded?" 

"I have no idea what you're talking about. It would take a hundred men to change my mind." 

"...or just Dongsu," Samuel said, raising his eyebrows. 

"Or just Dongsu," Jisung admitted. 

Taehyun interrupted. "So, are we going to the facial expression thing we did for 'Shape of You'?" He was grinning from ear to ear. 

An immediate expression of utter revulsion rippled through the trainees. 

Samuel was smiling in the same way someone would smile if they found dog shit on their shoe. "Hyung, please let's not do it for everyone's sakes. We don't need to cringe harder than we already are."

So, of course they did the thing that Jisung had been promised they weren't doing. Sing. High-pitched notes. 

Hoeseung flew through it, hitting each note with an ease reserved for only the most talented of singers, never so much as wavering. 

Jisung just mimed it, deciding not to embarrass himself by trying to hit notes he knew he could only hit in his wildest dreams. Quite frankly, he had no idea why he was contesting for centre when he couldn't even sing the part he'd have to sing, but he was stupid like that. 

Instead he embarrassed himself by pulling the most annoying, obnoxious expressions ever seen by man, so cringe-worthy that he didn't even have to see it to wince. He did it and he wished he hadn't. He was already ready for it to come back to haunt him in two years time when it was like ten o'clock at night and he couldn't sleep.

Samuel mimed it too, making Jisung feel a little less incompetent, but only a tiny bit, because of course Samuel was cute, loveable and energetic and essentially perfect centre material. He'd managed to be centre in Get Ugly, amongst most of the high ranking contestants who could all easily have been centre without any issue. 

Woodam sang, of course, and his voice also hit the notes with little issue, so easy to listen to and still so full of fun that it made Jisung want to vote for him on the spot, even if he loathed him with every fibre in his being.

The team voted. Samuel, got the most votes, of course -- and then he got the second. 

He bowed, not even sure what he was hearing, feeling like Samuel would slap him out of a dream or something. They'd voted for him to be centre. Him. Who'd already complained multiple times about how high pitched the song was.

Jisung wanted to get caught up in the elation of the moment, to grin and beam and cheer but he wasn't stupid. He knew, unless in the weirdest twist of the century and Samuel got eliminated, he was going to lose centre position. Samuel was going to get it, no problem. His role was more of an honorary one. You're good, but you're not that good.

He smiled anyway, and let his heart soar anyway, because Jisung was soft and insecure and even if he was going to lose the centre role, he was just happy to have been in contention, even if he wanted more. Produce 101 had ruined enough of his happiness, he wanted to claim this one, tiny, temporary joy. 

Woodam and Hoeseung were given main vocal roles, entirely expectedly.

Training and evaluations from the coaches started immediately, but the elimination had begun to cement itself in the back of everyone's minds with each passing day. 

Seeing as most of their group was made up of lower ranking trainees, tension ran especially high. 

It felt like most of them were on the verge of an argument, just about to give out about something tiny and insignificant, halfway towards raging and crying in the same breath. 

He saw Namhyung's face scrunch up every now and then, at random moments in the middle of training sessions, as though he only holding back tears through sheer force of will. Hoeseung's sunny optimism faltered far too often, and when he said he'd go up one place, it sounded like he was reassuring him. When Hyunmin messed up the steps at one stage, sending himself tumbling to the ground, he looked like he didn't want to get back up. Or that he couldn't. Sangbin just stared blankly at the sheet of paper holding his rap at one stage, like it was only just hitting him. 

It made Jisung pray for the elimination to come soon and he hated himself for it. He knew they wanted to stay as long as possible, push the elimination as far away as possible, until it was a shadow on the horizon, but he couldn't deal with it. He couldn't face the training room when every few seconds he saw someone crumble under the weight of the realisation that they might not get to perform what they were practising for. He couldn't. The atmosphere felt dismal, heavy instead of the upbeat the nature of the song. 

And it all made him think of Daniel. Made him remember that Daniel was amongst those who were terrified of the impending elimination. That Daniel was going to have rise at least five places just to survive. There could've been ten points between those places or ten thousand. And they had no idea. He couldn't even guess as to whether he could hope or not. Mnet wouldn't grant him that tiny relief. 

So he just practiced with the weighty, atmosphere and waited as patiently as he could for the elimination to come and all the terrors and reliefs it would bring.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Daniel doesn't cheat because I didn't feel it added anything to the story. Like, originally I was going to have him cheat but I'm juggling enough things as it is in this thing, so I just took it out because I do not have enough time xD I hope you enjoyed the chapter :D


	22. XXI

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This chapter is kind of a little bit of break from the whole competition thing, which we kind of haven't really had for a while I think. So I hope you enjoy it :D it's amongst my favourite chapters, I think :3   
> Also featuring plenty of Jisung being the superior mom friend.

The elimination coming after they began practicing for the Concept Evaluation put everyone on edge. 

The days before the elimination was all spent stressing over whether or not they'd done enough, practicing their specialties to perfect them even further and trying to deny the possibility that they might be one of those going home. Even the canteen sessions had begun to go quiet, with the tense and repressive atmosphere crushing anyone's attempts to speak. 

Daniel seemed unnervingly put together. He was smiling and chatting as normally, interacting with Woojin again, but every now and then, Jisung would spot his hands trembling or the smile slipping off his face to reveal a much less confident expression. It only ever lasted a second or so and if anyone ever caught him, Daniel would pretend it never happened. Jisung wanted to say something to him, lighten his spirits and cheer him up, but what could he say? False hope was just as bad as justified fear. 

It seemed as though, with one day left until the elimination, that it would another one of their quiet canteen sessions, with everyone sitting around staring at each other. The hubbub around them had even died down and no one seemed to be talking nearly as much as usual. 

Well, until Daehwi's eyes lit up and a giant grin spread on his face, the likes of which Jisung hadn't seen in a few days. "Guys, I have an idea!" 

Everyone turned to him, matching exhausted, broken expressions on their face. Jihoon let out a hum of acknowledgement and Samuel nodded, though his eyes were glazed over, staring into a distance that no one else could see. 

Daehwi cleared his throat pretty obnoxiously. "So....," he said, eyes travelling around the table, "What do you guys think of a shopping trip?" 

The silence was deafening. Jihoon glanced at Park Woojin, and the two shrugged. Samuel scratched the back of his head. Lee Woojin looked expectantly up at Daniel, who was staring at Daehwi with a raised eyebrow. 

Seongwoo broke the silence, grinning his trademark ridiculous grin. "I mean, less miserable-ness is good for everyone. Sooo... I'm up for it." 

Jihoon chewed on his lip before smiling. "I could use some new clothes, I guess." 

"What, to look stupider than you already do?" Samuel said, a wicked smile on his face. 

Jihoon looked like Samuel had just slapped his mother. "No! My fashion sense is great! It works!" 

"Yeah, because square black plastic glasses and neon shoe laces work," Daehwi said, grinning like a demon.

Jisung decided to join in the fun. "Let's be real here, guys, the only reason Jihoon gets compliments is because people look at his face before they see what he's wearing. Otherwise they'd run screaming." 

"When did everyone suddenly become fashion experts? My style is fine, leave me alone. I like what I wear. It's very... Jihoon-y." 

"Every Jihoon that ever existed is offended by that," Samuel said, looking deadly serious for the barest of moments before he collapsed into sniggering. 

Jihoon folded his arms, narrowing his eyes. "Haha, very funny, I'm laughing so hard." 

"Guys we have to go now, because of Jihoon's awful fashion sense," Daehwi pleaded, doing his best baby face and puppy eyes. 

Daniel shrugged. "I guess I need some more blood, I might pick some up on the way." 

Woojin beamed and nodded eagerly. "I think it's a good idea! We haven't gotten to go outside in so long, I really want to go do something fun that isn't associated with Produce 101." 

Jisung just nodded. "I'm in if everyone else is in." 

Daehwi punched the air in victory, his smile bright. "Yay!" he said in the cutest voice ever, that made Jisung want to hug him or something stupid like that. 

Instead he asked the important questions, as resident mom friend. "So when will we go?" 

"Uh... right now?" Daehwi said, the bright smile changing into an awkward one. 

Jisung blinked. "What." 

Daehwi fiddled on his sleeves. "I mean we can't really go any other day, so I was just thinking we get changed quickly and then we go like right now, so yeah." 

"Um. Okay," Jisung said slowly, looking around at the others, "I guess everyone better get changed quickly. Um, see you downstairs in like twenty minutes?" 

"How am I supposed to choose an outfit in twenty minutes?" Jihoon said, dragging his hands down his face. 

"I'm being generous, so figure it out and focus on moving your butt to your room quickly." 

Jihoon bolted, running much faster than Jisung had thought he was capable of.

Surprising, everyone actually managed to get back downstairs in twenty minutes and not spend the entire twenty minutes dawdling. He'd been sure he'd have to drag Jihoon out of his room, kicking and screaming. 

Jihoon had been less of a fashion disaster than expected, Daehwi looked even cuter than usual in dungarees and an orange jumper, with Lee Woojin coming close to his cuteness with an oversized jumper, Woojin and Samuel and Seongwoo all wearing pretty average clothing and Daniel being better dressed than normal. 

It took them less fifteen minutes to get into Seoul city centre and Daniel insisted on going to shopping centre close to a blood bank, which deflated Daehwi and Jihoon considerably, because neither of them could go to their favourite shops. Maybe, for Jihoon at least, it was for the best. 

It only took a few minutes to find a decent shopping centre, one that no one complained about.

"Okay, max of thirty minutes," Jisung said, glancing at his watch, "I want to be back before we attract too much attention and before gives us shit for trying to persuade fans even if we aren't." 

"What, no, fashion takes time!" Daehwi whined, Jihoon moving in to back him up instantly. 

Jisung sighed, wishing he was in a universe where he wasn't so suspectible to Daehwi's wickedly adorable charms. "Fine an hour." 

Daniel nodded beside him. "I think an hour's plenty. I want time to get blood, before all the A negative blood is gone." 

Daehwi looked like he wanted to complain, but Jihoon thankfully had a functional brain and smiled brightly and thanked them both, grabbing Daehwi and racing off to dive into the depths of the shopping centre. 

Park Woojin and Samuel had already vanished to who knew where, leaving Jisung to play second fiddle to Seongwoo and Daniel the entire time, alongside Lee Woojin. 

Seongwoo insisted on going shopping too, with everyone else semi-reluctantly agreeing. Daniel seemed only too eager to tag along, disappearing off with Seongwoo into the depths of the shop that someone as unfashionable as Jisung dare not follow. So he was stuck babysitting. 

Woojin and him just sort of wandered around aimlessly, smiling awkwardly at shop assistant who glared at them for pretending that they were there to buy something, when they so clearly weren't. 

"So," Jisung said, trying to look interested in a very pink, very flowery scarf of which he was very clearly not the intended audience, "I see you and Daniel patched it up." 

Woojin nodded, staring at baby shoes which was even more inconspicious than the scarf unless Woojin secretly had tiny feet hidden in his normal sized shoes. "Yeah," he mumbled, "I guess so." 

Jisung moved onto the next item which was a neon green hairband that no one could pull off. "Did you miss him while you were on the hate train or something?" 

Woojin glared. "Yeah. Yeah, I did. And I didn't hate him.... I -- I just was mad at him for..." 

"For being a vampire?" 

"No!" 

Jisung turned away from the hairband to stare at the maknae with raised eyebrows. 

Woojin's face scrunched up and his cheeks splotched with red. "A little. You don't know, you love vampires! You never had to deal with a family who all hated vampires! How am I supposed to explain that I'm best friends with one? They're gonna be so mad when I get home." 

"You're making some very bold assumptions there." 

Woojin didn't reply, angrily pulling at the baby shoes to inspect them more closely, deliberately avoiding meeting his gaze.

Jisung sighed. "Sorry. I want to like you, I really really do, you're almost as cute as Daehwi, and you're talented and only fifteen, so I can't really hold everything you say against you. But, I dunno, maybe I'm too attached, but insulting Daniel feels like insulting me somehow and I'm mad at you on his behalf." 

Woojin didn't even acknowledge him, looking at the baby shoes as though he was trying to incinerate them with just his gaze.

Jisung continued anyway. Maybe something he said could get through the boy's thick skull. "I'm just assuming here, so bear with me if I'm wrong. I take it you grew up in a small, fairly tight-knit, well-off neighbourhood? Nice people, knew everyone, no vampires? Morbid curiosity with vampires nonetheless but your parents and the adults either pretend they don't exist or talk about how much of a menace they are, corrupting the youth and all that? And they watch all the programmes with all those evil vampires who are constantly attacking and kidnapping people, especially little boys?" 

Woojin had gone still. His grip on the baby shoes had loosened, his breathing quiet as he stared straight ahead of him. 

Jisung pushed on. "Yeah, me too. Kind of sucks. My grandpa was a shitty guy, who loved filling little seven year old Jisung's head with ideas of those wicked, evil, bloodthirsty monsters who wouldn't hesitate to rip me to shreds if they had the chance. And my dad never stopped listening to the news of the vampires who'd killed their victims or watching news of vampires getting arrested or the crimes they'd committed, always awful and disgusting and ugly and they looked just as vile and monstrous as Grandpa described. And I ate that shit up. I loved the idea of being the good guy who had to defeat those evil monsters and I got into all kinds of trouble for trying to go after them." 

He paused, meeting Woojin's gaze, which had finally left the shoes. "You know what changed?" 

Woojin's voice came out as a whisper. "What?" 

"I met an actual vampire. And I thought well, that couldn't possibly be a vampire, he's too normal. Surely that's not right. Then I thought he was the exception, he was the single good vampire in a world of evil vampires. And then, after a very, very long time, I realised that maybe vampires were fairly normal. That they were just as complex and confusing and emotional and nonsensical as we are." 

He leaned down to Woojin. "Don't make my mistakes. Don't let it take twenty years and the turning of one of your closest friends into the very thing he hates to help you realise that vampires aren't the black in a world of black and white. It's easier to think like that than to face the reality that we live in a world of shades of grey and vampires are just as strange as we are." 

Woojin put the shoes back on the shelf. "How'd you get away from all of them? All of the people who thought vampires were bad?" 

He paused before replying. "Luck, I guess. My mom was fairly pro-vampire and when I came to Seoul, I didn't really have my Grandpa and Dad hanging over my head whispering propaganda in my ear." Jisung went quiet for a few moments. "I mean, some parts of the way here were painful. I had to basically destroy my relationship with my Grandpa and my relationship with my Dad is still pretty mediocre. Granted, my Grandpa kind of destroyed the relationship himself, without any of my help. It's not easy, but you'll get it eventually. You have Daniel now, anyway." He let out an exaggerated sigh, as though it pained him to say it. "And me too, against my will."

Woojin smiled a small smile but his eyebrows were still pulled into an expression of uncertainty. "Um, do you mind if I... uh, ask about Daniel's turning? My parents always said that revenge turnings were the only vampires that were okay. Because um... I dunno. I think it let them hate vampires more, that they forcibly turned people or something stupid." He shrugged. 

It took him a while to reply. "Woojin, I don't want you to ask himself but as the same time I feel like I'm giving away private information that I really don't have the right to share. I can tell you this: they're ugly. Daniel was screaming until his voice went hoarse and I actually thought he was dying. The bite looked like someone or something had tried to take a chunk out of him. It... it wasn't nice to watch. I'm just glad I didn't have to experience myself. I wouldn't wish it on anyone." 

Woojin opened his mouth, looking as though he was ready to barrage Jisung with questions but Seongwoo and Daniel had finally return from their trip to the deep, carrying at least six shopping bags each. 

Jisung stared at them, his eyes bulging from his skull. "Um, what the fuck is that?" 

"Clothes," Daniel said bluntly, a grin twitching on his lips. 

"No shit, but um, why is there... um..." 

Daniel sighed deeply, like he was some sort of long-suffering mentor. "I don't know when we'll get to go out again, so... I need clothes." 

Seongwoo nodded, his massive smile spread wide across his lips. "We can't be badly dressed if we get into IOI the second. Airport fashion is a thing, you know." 

"But why so much?" Jisung asked, staring at the bags, "And how did you even afford all that?"

Woojin was peeking into one of Daniel's bags, which Daniel opened wider to let him look inside, shrugging as he did so. 

"As I said, we don't know when we'll have a chance to buy stuff as IOI the second," he said, as though that all explained it. 

Woojin pulled an expensive looking pair of sunglasses out and slipped them on, even as they looked far, far too massive for his tiny face. He nodded in approval. "I think it was a good investment, hyung." 

"Those do not look cheap," Jisung said, eyeing them, "Where did the money come from? Do you guys like have a secret gambling ring I'm not in on?" 

Daniel just waved his hand dismissively, beaming. "Does it really matter, hyung?" 

Seongwoo looked like he was holding back laughter, biting his lip and adamantly avoiding eye contact. 

"Can I keep these?" Woojin asked, looking around in the sunglasses. 

"Um, like for five minutes?" 

"Did you guys steal them?" Jisung asked, feeling like he was talking to a brick wall. 

"Steal?!" Seongwoo squawked, putting his hand on his heart awkwardly with all the bags, "Hyung, I would never even think of it!" 

Jisung narrowed his eyes. 

"There was no stealing involved," Daniel said quickly, laughing nervously, "Just I don't think you'll approve of, um, how we got it." 

"You definitely stole them," Jisung said, folding his arms. 

"No, we didn't!" 

Seongwoo made a massive flailing gesture with his arms. "It wasn't theft if someone gave it to you!" 

"And that someone was the shop owner," Daniel added quickly, "But that was just the sunglasses." 

"The shop owner just handed you guys sunglasses," Jisung said, deadpan. 

"I mean, um, more like Daniel seduced her to get sunglasses," Seongwoo said, before Daniel kicked him in the shin. 

Jisung winced, as Seongwoo doubled over, clasping his shin. Daniel spun to him, wide-eyed. 

"Shit, shit, I'm so sorry, I didn't mean, I'm still so shit at this strength th--" 

"It's fine," Seongwoo wheezed, eyes watering, "You did seduce her though." 

"You seduced someone for sunglasses," Jisung said slowly. 

"More like she recognised me and I complimented her and she offered me to give me something in the shop for free because she liked me so much and she said she needed the exposure and I asked for sunglasses?" 

"So...," Jisung said, "Seduction." 

"No!" 

"I should've known," Jisung said, shaking his head, "That you would use your newfound vampire charms to seduce and hoodwink innocent shop owners into giving up their merchandise." 

Daniel flushed pink. "I'm not!" 

"She just gave them to him, he couldn't say no," Woojin said, reprising his much missed role of Daniel's minion. 

"Did you quote Twilight at her? Whisper lines from True Blood in her ear? Seduce her with poetry from Carmilla?" 

"I literally just said I thought her hair was nice and that it suited her face really well and that she was pretty," Daniel moaned, dragging his hands down his face (well, as best he could with the shopping bags). 

"That's what they all say," Jisung said, eyeing him suspiciously, "I know for a fact you manipulated her with all your vampire romance novel knowledge." 

"You read vampire romance novels?" Woojin asked, pulling off to the sunglasses to reveal wide eyes underneath.

Daniel and Seongwoo both opened their mouths, a grin on Seongwoo's face and exasperation on Daniel's but a high pitched, girly squeal interruped them before they had chance to speak, before it suddenly stopped. 

They turned to see a girl who looked around his age, about twenty six or twenty seven or something, her hand clamped over her mouth and her big, bunny eyes wide. Jisung could feel the curious stares on his back and hoped that everyone would just go back to what they'd been doing a few seconds ago before bunny girl had attracted all the attention to them. 

There was several moments of staring before her hand fell to her side and she finally opened her mouth. "Oh my God, you're Kang Daniel." 

Daniel laughed nervously, his eyes darting about, almost as though looking for an exit. His hands were shaking and his smile had all but slipped off his face. "Uh. Yeah." 

Thankfully, the girl seemed be keeping a respectful distance from them, not taking a hundred million photos and wasn't attacking him for being a vampire or for being a former hunter turned vampire, so she met Jisung's criteria for safe enough. 

She pushed on, her shocked expression beginning to mould into a shy smile. She looked down at the ground, her hair falling in front her face. "Um, sorry, that was embarrassing, I just didn't expect to see you here. I'm a big fan." 

Daniel raised an eyebrow. 

"No, honestly! Uh, I, I'm, well I'm a vampire too, and I'm really glad that there's a vampire on Produce 101. It's so hard finding good portrayals of vampires like anywhere. Especially the news. So it's nice to put on Produce 101 and just see an actual vampire who's not all crazy and evil and stuff."

Daniel's guard seemed to drop and he relaxed. The sunlit smile appeared. "Um, well, thanks I guess. Uh, I didn't think I had any fans after... you know the whole reveal thing." 

She shook her head rapidly. "No, I know my sire really likes you and most of my coven does too. We'll vote for you!" 

The pink spots had returned to Daniel's cheeks. He rubbed the back of his neck. "Thanks. Um. A lot. I really appreciate it. I thought I was going to be eliminated last round but, um, here I am I guess." 

"Oh -- and I'm really really sorry to hear about your turning. My sire said they're inhumane, no matter who the victim is. And I wouldn't be able to do the whole vampire thing with out a sire -- granted it's only been like a week but still -- I have no idea how you managed it, but uh, I'm really glad you did. You kind of helped the whole seeing the vampires in a positive light thing. Like a lot." 

Daniel tensed. The smile looked a lot more forced. "I -- I kinda don't like talking about it. If you don't mind. It's too fresh a memory." A sneaky, mischevious grin returned, but the discomfort and hurt still lingered behind his eyes. "Wait a hundred years maybe and maybe I'll be more willing to talk about it." 

Her giggle came out as a nervous, confused one. She gnawed on her lip. "I'm so sorry, I shouldn't have brought that up, um, anyway, I just wanted to say that your performances have been really really good so far and please keep up the good work and could I have an autograph?" 

"Uh, sure... uh, what will I sign?" 

Her eyes widened. "Oh, I hadn't thought of that. Um. The back of my shirt? Hang on, I think I have a marker." 

She ruffled through her bag for a few minutes before pulling a marker out of it and handed it to him. She leaned over a little bit to let Daniel sign her shirt with more ease. 

Jisung met his eyes, the bewilderment crystal clear. Daniel looked away and back to the signing of the shirt, doing it with a lot of care. He tapped her on the shoulder when he was done. 

"Um. I think that should do? Sorry if it's bad, I've really given my autograph or anything before." 

She brushed it off with a grin and a wave of the hand. "I'm just glad to have met you." 

Daniel shook his head, a soft smile gracing his face. "No, I wanna thank you. I -- I didn't realise I still had fans so, uh, meeting you has been a real confidence boost. Which I kind of needed. Like a lot."

"Oh," she said softly, her eyes shining and her smile wide, "I'm really glad to have helped. Um, I hope you find a sire soon and good luck with the rest of Produce 101! Remember, even if everyone else sleeps on your insane talent, I still love you!" 

With that, she ran off, glancing back multiple times as she did so, and disappeared into the depths of the shop. 

If Daniel had been in a good mood coming into the shopping centre, it was nothing compared to his mood leaving. By the time they'd met up with the others, he was grinning from ear to ear, smile so bright it hurt to look at. He didn't bring up the fan encounter after it happened, or even explain to the others why he was so happy but it was obvious he was thinking of it. 

Daehwi got pretty annoyed by the lack of answers offered by Daniel despite his constant begging and pleading for an explanation, and whined basically the entire way to the blood bank. Not even Woojin could shut him up. Jisung was just about ready to throw him out off a really high up window by the time they reached their destination, or at the very least slap him. 

"-- why won't anyone tell me anything, I just wanna know, I'm not gonna tell anyone, who would I even tell --" 

"Daehwi, I fucking swear, let it be. Daniel has a right to privacy. You don't need to know everything. So zip -- " Jisung snapped, turning to face him.

Daniel interrupted him. "We're here. This hopefully shouldn't take too long, it's not usually busy on weekdays around this time." 

Jisung turned to see a building towering over him, imposing and cold. It was all sharp, streamlined angles with metal panes and glaring, tinted glass. It looked sleek, modern and professional, with no hints as to the ancients that relied on it. It seemed to extend upwards to no end, piercing the clouds on its journey towards the sky. Written above the revolving doors, in steel grey block letters, was 'South Korean Central Blood Distribution Centre and Headquarters'. 

Daniel began moving towards the doors and the rest of them followed at a slower pace. Daehwi froze for a few moments, Adam's apple bobbing nervously. 

"Daniel, are you sure we're allowed in?" 

Daniel turned around to face them and rolled his eyes. "They can't ban every human in Seoul from coming inside. Come on, they probably won't care." 

"Probably?" Daehwi squeaked but by then Jisung had just grabbed the kid's hand and begun dragging him along.

If he was being honest, Jisung was kind of terrified too. He half expected someone to run out and stop them and say, vampires only, humans not allowed inside. The building seemed to say that anyway, as though glaring at them disapprovingly, like they were wrong to dare venture inside. 

Seongwoo suddenly spoke up, just as they came towards the entrance. "Daniel, have you ever been here before?" 

Daniel paused, half-turned to look at them and smile sheepishly. "Um. No. But I've had things delivered a lot?"

"Yeah, that settles it, I'm staying outside," Samuel said, turning away from the entrance rapidly. 

"What, why?" 

"Uh, Daniel, in case you haven't been paying attention the last few months, my mom's a hunter. And even if her partner's a vampire, that doesn't mean they're gonna like me anymore."

"My parents are hunters!" Daniel said, stupidly. 

Samuel raised his eyebrows. "Yeah, but you're a vampire, you dumbass, you actually need to drink blood so they can't kick you out for asking for something you need." 

Daniel seemed to have realised how stupid his answer had been and closed his mouth. 

Park Woojin spoke up from behind them. "I might do the same. My dad might not be a hunter but he's closely connected enough to them to make me nervous." 

Daniel just nodded. "Yeah. Yeah, okay. Um, just stay outside, and don't wander off or something." 

Samuel and Park Woojin rolled their eyes simultaneously. "Okay, we're not ten," Samuel said, shaking his head. 

Jihoon was having the opposite reaction. Longing and feverish excitement had returned to his eyes as he stared at the building. Jisung said nothing of it. If no one brought it up, he certainly wouldn't. Besides, he knew how important the secret was to him. Even if it did make his stomach churn. It wouldn't hurt him to hold onto it for a little longer. Daehwi and Lee Woojin were less excited. Daehwi looked as curious as ever and Woojin looked like he was about to vomit. 

Daniel took a deep breath and stepped into the revolving doors. The rest of them followed. Jisung's heart was going at a million miles a minute. He just had to hope opinion of Daniel had changed for the better since they'd last encountered a large group of vampires when registering. And that he didn't say anything stupid. Or rude.

They stepped out into a large, spacious foyer, filled with people moving to and fro, most looking like they had somewhere important to be. A series of front desks were lined in front of them, glass lifts surrounded them, perpetually in use. Seats made of ebony wood were scattered systematically around the foyer, several of which were occupied, and the floor was made of a deep black marble, with lines of white marble running through it like pale tears. The tinted windows bathed the foyer in shadows, just light enough that everything was clearly visible. 

"I'll try to be quick," Daniel said, snapping Jisung's attention back to him, "Um. You guys can sit down, or something, uh, if you want." 

Daehwi looked around rapidly. "Do you think they have a bathroom?" 

"Did you not pee before we left?" Jisung asked, pinching his nose bridge. 

"No!" Daehwi said, indignant, "I didn't need to pee then!" 

"There's a bathroom sign over there, Daehwi, use your eyes," Jihoon said, rolling his eyes and jabbing his finger in the direction of the sign. 

"Oh," Daehwi said, flushing bright red and racing off. 

Lee Woojin followed, moving towards one of the benches, and Jihoon later wandered after him. Seongwoo glanced after the three who'd left and then back at Daniel. "I'm gonna make sure they don't do anything stupid." 

"I'm more worried about you doing something stupid," Daniel said, grinning wickedly.

Seongwoo only replied with a matching grin and raced off after the others.

The minute Seongwoo vanished after them, the grin vanished. Daniel's breathing stopped, his hands shook and he looked Jisung in the eyes. "Please don't leave," he whispered, his voice trembling.

Jisung reached out and squeezed Daniel's cold hand reassuringly. "I won't. I'm right behind you. Don't worry. I'm here for you." 

Daniel nodded, but his hand still shook in Jisung's grip. "I'm just scared that -- that it'll be a repeat of last time. I know it was my fault but I -- I, um --" 

"Don't worry," Jisung said, smiling at him, "I'm not going anywhere." 

He was terrified too. The mere thought of it shook him to the core, caused fear to weed itself into his heart and mind and grasp on tight, so tight that he could only see the very thing he feared playing out in a hundred different ways, each more twisted and horrifying than the last. 

Daniel walked up to the desk with slow, deliberate steps. He didn't breathe once. 

The vampire behind the desk looked up from his laptop at their approach, big sparkling brown eyes meeting theirs, a soft smile on his handsome face. His black hair was cut short, complimenting and showing off his features, his pale skin glowing even under the tinted light. "How can I help you?"

"Uh, um," Daniel said, stumbling over his words,"I -- I need, um, blood." 

The vampire raised his eyebrows, the soft smile moving into a lopsided, cheeky one. "Eloquently put. What type?" He looked back the laptop. 

"Uum, A. Uh. A negative. Um, ye--please." 

The vampire let out a noise of acknowledgement, his hands flying across the keyboard at such speeds that Jisung couldn't track them. "How many would you like?" 

"Um, like three? No, four." 

"And could I have your name?" the vampire said, looking up to him, that easy smile still on his face, "I know you're a vampire, but we need to verify you're in the database and that you won't sell the blood on the black market or without a licence, though you don't seem like the type. It's just protocol." 

Daniel opened and closed his mouth over and over again, his hands trembling so violently that Jisung thought he was going to have a meltdown on the spot. No breathing still. His mouth opened. Closed. Open. Close. No words came out. Daniel seemed trapped in the vicious cycle of gaining confidence and losing it before he had the chance to do anything with it. 

The vampire's eyes softened, that wicked mischief vanishing. "It's okay. You have time. No one's pressuring you. I assume this is your first time? This is the hardest it'll ever be, I promise, and afterwards it just gets easier. Just breathe." 

Daniel nodded, clasping one hand with the other as though trying to ease the trembling but all it did was make it worse. He took a deep, shaky breath. It was several seconds before he replied. 

"Kang Daniel. My name's Kang Daniel." 

A soft smile rewarded him. "See, that wasn't too bad?" The vampire's hands flew across the keyboard once more. 

Daniel didn't respond. The air of nervous apprehension hung over them like a dark cloud. 

"And there you are. Everything checks out. I'll call someone to grab the blood." Then, suddenly, the vampire paused and turned to Daniel with narrowed eyes. 

Jisung held his breath. He couldn't let a repeat happen. He couldn't. He'd do whatever he could to prevent it, to make sure Daniel didn't feel terrified about interacting with any vampire ever again. He opened his mouth, ready to say something really stupid to pull attention away from Daniel and onto him but the vampire had spoken before he had a chance to push the first syllable from his mouth.

"Wait, I thought I recognised you!" 

Daniel laughed and it was a terrified, broken sound. "Um, maybe you're thinking of someone else, I'm nobody really, I'm just some random guy." 

He didn't even falter. "No, no, I definitely knew your face and couldn't quite remember where from. But your name explains it all."

Daniel's eyes darted around the room, as though avoiding the vampire's gaze. Jisung reached out to touch Daniel's elbow, not quite sure what he was going to do but he knew he'd have to do something. He could just stand by. Not like last time. He wasn't being useless this time around. 

"You're the vampire trainee from Produce 101, right?"

Daniel didn't move for several moments, not even so much as a finger. Then he inhaled deeply, the sunlit grin returning to his face, though dimmed by a note of disbelief. 

Jisung's hand fell to his side. He did his best to keep his own smile contained, to make it seem like yeah, the trainee from Produce 101 thing was all Daniel was. Just a trainee. That was all. He was still terrified at the thought of that a different vampire might recognise Daniel but the others seemed to have not even acknowledged his existence. 

"Um, yeah," Daniel said, his voice much more confident, "Yeah. I'm the vampire trainee. Well, one of them." 

The vampire grinned. "It's a pleasure to meet you. I'm not a fan of Produce 101, Mnet is shady as hell, but I heard there were vampires competing this time round and I had to watch it. You're an amazing dancer by the way. That 'Pop' performance was something else, you deserved the 10,000 for sure." 

Daniel's cheeks had coloured that pale pink colour. "Uh, thanks."

The vampire turned away and left so quickly that he become a blur. He was back within seconds. "Sorry, just had to get someone to get the blood. It should be here quickly. A negative, right?" 

Daniel nodded. 

"Just double-checking. But where were we? Yeah, I'm just glad there's more vampires that aren't shown as being evil, mindless creatures that thirst after blood, especially when they're as talented as you." A solemn pause. "I'm sorry about what happened to you. Revenge turnings are far too harsh and barbaric, no matter who they happen to."

Daniel nodded again, the smile falling from his face. "Yeah, it wasn't fun." His laugh was weak and shaky. He hesitated before speaking again, a multitude of emotions flying through his face at a speed faster than Jisung could identify them. "It's getting easier though. Slowly. I -- I don't hate it as much as I did. Probably thanks to my dumbass group of friends."

Daniel glanced at him, the sunlit smile soft and warmer than usual, making Jisung's heart swell with something akin to pride. The smile then turned to look at the rest of the group, changing into an expression of disbelief at rapid pace. 

Jisung turned to see Seongwoo pinching Woojin's cheeks and cooing over him with such intensity that it looked like he was an aunt who hadn't seen their nephew in years. Woojin looked disgusted and was doing his best to fight him off, but whenever he made a break for it, the much taller trainee yanked him back. Daehwi still wasn't back. Jihoon was hanging around a load of vampires in the most suspicious way possible, as though just being near them would convince one of them to turn him. Thankfully, sparing everyone intense second-hand embarrassment, he retreated after a few seconds back to the chaos that was Woojin and Seongwoo's intense fighting match/babying thing. 

Jisung looked back to the vampire who just had his eyebrows raised, his mouth twisted as though he was trying to withhold a smile. "They seem like an interesting bunch." 

"I would say they're not normally like this but that would be a lie," Daniel said, laughing sheepishly, rubbing the back of his neck. 

"I'm just glad you're finding it easier. The first few months are always by far and away the hardest. It usually goes uphill from there." 

A female vampire in a black pencil skirt, suit jacket and blouse approached the table with four plastic bottles of blood, which she packed in to a plain white bag with simple black rim and 'South Korean Central Blood Distribution Centre and Headquarters' written in a small, neat, black font. She handed it over to the male vampire who grinned at her and whispered something. She rolled her eyes and smiled at them before walking away. 

The vampire placed the bag on top of the counter and Daniel slid the money across it towards him. He counted through it at rapid pace and his mischevious smile faded into a more formal, polite one. "Good luck with the rest of the competition and thank you for doing business with us. Have a nice day!"

Daniel bowed his head slightly, picking up the bag as he did so. "Thanks. Uh, I hope you have a nice day too. Um. Bye." 

A warm smile bid them goodbye. 

"Guys, come on, move your butts," Jisung yelled at the rest of group. 

Their heads shot up, like a bunch of puppies being told they could go outside and Woojin bolted for the door, Seongwoo moving into step with Daniel and Jisung and Jihoon tailing after them reluctantly. 

"Daehwi still isn't out," Seongwoo said when he got over to them, "So..."

Jisung sighed deeply. "How long is he planning to take?" 

"Maybe he fell down the toilet," Daniel said, grinning. 

"It would spare us several hundred years worth of talking squished into the next few weeks at least," Jisung mumbled. 

Daehwi seemed to take eons to get out of the toilet, and by the time he did finally leave his new home inside the the blood bank's bathroom, Jisung really was beginning to wonder if he had fallen down. But Daehwi rushed out then, a sheepish smile wide on his face, and they were free from the confines of waiting-for-Daehwi-to-leave-the-bathroom. Lucky for him because Jisung was seriously think about going in there and yanking him out, pants down or no.

"What took you so long?" Jihoon asked, staring at him incredulously. 

"I wasn't that long, you guys are just impatient!"

"No, it was pretty long," Daniel said, raising his eyebrows, "Did you poop out your intestines or something!" 

"No!" Daehwi said, folding his arms, "I wasn't that long!" 

"Sure," Jisung said, not even trying to hide his scepticism, "If you say so, Daehwi." 

Daehwi spluttered before Jihoon fired off another retort and the back-and-forth continued as they walked out the door. Jisung glanced back to see Seongwoo's gaze lingering on the bathroom door. 

"You okay?" he asked and Seongwoo whipped his head over to him. 

"I just thought I--," Seongwoo started before he shook his head, "Nevermind. Doesn't matter." 

Jisung raised an eyebrow but didn't push. It was Seongwoo's business.

They reunited with the guardians of the shopping bags outside, who were at that stage playing 'I Spy', lying down on the benches, staring up at the sky. 

"Oh my God, you took forever," Samuel said, his voice so whiny that it made Jisung want to slap him, "How long does ordering blood take?" 

Daniel rolled his eyes. "It took barely a few minutes, you asses are just impatient. And if it was longer, that was Daehwi's fault."

Jihoon yanked the bag from his hands and was staring at the bottles within with a morbid fascination. 

A single glance from Daehwi at them was enough to make him go pale and look as though he was getting ready to puke. "Ew, ew, ew, get it away from me." 

"Yeah, well then don't look at it, not everyone is as much of a baby as you." 

"Hey! You say that like being a baby is a negative thing!" 

Jisung intervened before the two went at each other's faces. "Woah, no more arguing about babiness and blood. And besides, why did you take so long in the toilet?" 

Daehwi sighed, rolling his eyes. "I talked to like this one vampire who was a fan or something and she held me up for like a minute, it wasn't that long. You guys are just dramatic."

"First, how did you get a vampire talk to you?" Jihoon said, glaring at him, "And secondly, you took twenty minutes, not an extra one!" 

"I think Jihoon's upset because none of the vampires would talk to him," Woojin said, earning a glare from Jisung, "You were hanging around the vampires so suspiciously, it looked you wanted to sell them drugs or something." 

"Not surprised," Daehwi said in a sing-song voice, "Did you offer to kiss their boots while you were staring lovingly at them?"

Jihoon glared at Daehwi who smiled brightly and sent an aegyo assault of hearts, kissy faces and bunny ears. Jihoon looked ready to whack him with the bag of blood.

The sudden appearance of Seongwoo brought a new competitor into the fight. "Maybe they would've been more attentive if you'd offered them a snack. Like yourself."

Park Woojin turned to them with the most incredulous look on his face. "Uh, they were in a blood bank? Couldn't they just go up to the counter if they were hungry?" 

Before Seongwoo had a chance to reply to the very big hole in his logic, he walked right into Daniel. 

Jisung glanced at Daniel, trying to figure out why the hell he'd stopped when he saw Daniel's face. 

What little blood that was left in Daniel's face had rushed out of it. His eyes were wide, fixated on something in the distance, his hands shaking, and he wasn't breathing again. He looked like a man who'd stared death in the face and now had to confront it.

Jisung followed his gaze, his blood running cold. The sight of a fairly normal looking man in his fifties greeted him and his brows furrowed. He looked back to Daniel. The reaction seemed way over the top considering what they were looking at. 

It took a few minutes for Daniel to open his mouth. "That's my dad. I -- w-what's he doing here?" 

It was a struggle to match the man in front of him with the image of Daniel's father, cruel and absent. He looked friendly, creases of laughter decorating the edges of his eyes, a sunlit smile that was reminiscent of Daniel's dancing on his face as he studied the windows of the shops. He was much smaller than Daniel, in both height and build. He looked like a former schoolteacher, not a hunter from a bloodline bathed in tradition and blood. 

Before anyone had a chance to say anything, Daniel had already called out to him. "Dad!" The fear had dissipated into a smile, hope and love and longing shining in Daniel's puppy eyes. 

If his father heard him, he didn't acknowledge it. The air felt heavy and tense, as though something bad was heading in their direction and there was nothing any of them could do it. 

Daniel's smile only grew more hopeful, more determined. Jisung didn't have a chance to warn Daniel, to tell him to kill that hope before it poisoned him, before Daniel began moving towards his father. 

"Dad!" 

No reply. The rest of the group said nothing. It felt like they were in the eye of the storm, about to emerge into deathly winds. 

"Dad, it's me!" 

Daniel finally reached his father, his hand flying out to touch his arm, that warm, hopeful smile still so wide on his face that it threatened break Jisung's heart. 

The minute his fingers brushed his father's arm, his father pulled his arm out of reach. Any hint of the warm, friendly-looking man that had been there moments prior had vanished, his expression twisted into one of pure hatred. His eyes shook Jisung to the core. He'd never seen such feverish hatred, so devoted to the loathing of vampires that he was willing to do anything to in any way make their lives impossible. 

Daniel's brows knitted together, a dawning shock and confusion at the sheer loathing in those once-friendly eyes. "Dad?" he said, his voice hushed and unsteady, as though he was beginning to doubt what he was doing. 

"Who the fuck are you?" his father said, his voice a snarl, even as recognition flashed in those cold eyes.

If Daniel had looked taken aback before, it paled in comparison to the surprise in his expression at that moment. Surprise and confusion. How could a father forget his lone child, his only son, his one heir to one of the longest lasting and violent hunter legacies in all of Korea? 

It wasn't like Daniel had changed much since turning. A little prettier, a little paler, a little colder, but nothing monumental. It was obvious he'd changed but he was still clearly recognisable as Daniel. The sensation it gave him, making his stomach feel like it was sinking, little by little, bit by bit, made him feel there was more to it. 

Daniel pushed on, even as confusion laced his tone. "Dad? It's me. It's Daniel. I'm y-your son, your only son." 

The words that came from his father's mouth next were so laced with venom, dripping with so much revulsion that it made Jisung's skin crawl. 

"My son is dead." 

Daniel flinched back as though he'd been struck. His eyes were watering now, his trembling hands clinging onto his father's sleeve with white knuckles like a child learning to walk depending on their parents to guide them. 

"N -- I -- no, I'm still alive, Dad, I'm right here. I'm n-not h-h-human but I'm still your son. I'm still Daniel? Right? Dad, please, Dad, please, I'm still your son, right?" 

His father wouldn't even look him in the eyes as he spoke. "All I see in front of me is a leech." 

Daniel was knocked to his knees, crumbling like a castle made of paper. His breaths were heavy and shaky, all but on the verge of sobs. He was still clinging to his father's sleeve. 

"Dad, please, don't do this, I'm still me, I'm still Daniel, I love you, I miss you, please, please, I just want things to go back to the way they were, I'm not dead, I'm still here --" 

"My son would've rather died than turned into something as disgusting as one of you." 

The tears were pouring out in floods, like endless steams of blood making their way down his face, his eyes having by now turned red to match. Daniel looked so small, when he had towered over his father just a few moments prior, crumpled in a heap on the ground, holding onto his father's sleeve as though his life depended on it. He shook with sobs, his entire body controlled by his grief. 

"Please, please, I just want to be your son again, don't say I'm dead, I'm not dead, I'm not, I'm right here, Dad, please, I love you, please, look at me, I'm your son, I'm still here --" 

Daniel's father looked down at his one and only son, breaking and sobbing and begging because of the wounds he'd inflicted. And he preceded to rub salt in those deep, gushing wounds. 

"I'm looking. And all I see is what I swore to destroy. A revolting, heinous, depraved, hideous leech. If I had my weapons, I wouldn't hesitate to kill you, right here. Something as depraved and disgusting as you deserves death. My son would never live one of your half-lives, leeching off the blood of humans. He'd value his humanity over his own life. He'd do the right thing. You... you're some filthy creature who was too weak to do even that much." 

He pulled his sleeves from Daniel's grip, which Daniel only weakly defended against, and walked away without even so much as the slightest hint of remorse, leaving his son in a shaking heap on the ground. 

Jisung all but raced over Daniel, Seongwoo hot on his heels. Daniel was still blubbering and pleading, crawling weakly after his father. 

Hate pummelled through his chest so strongly that he thought he'd be knocked over by the blow. His eyes tracked Daniel's father as he left, his insides twisting and warping with flames. It took every ounce of willpower he had not to race after him and tear him to shreds, to rip him apart with his bare hands. But he squashed it down, because Daniel didn't need him to chase down his father. Daniel needed comfort, not revenge. Attacking his father would do nothing except enforce beliefs that were already ingrained. He'd be more useful here, with Daniel.

"Daniel, shh, it's okay, we have you," he said, his voice as soft he could make it. 

Daniel's vice-like grip wrapped around one of his hands, and he all but sobbed into it, curling up as though he could protect himself from the world by making himself as small as possible. Seongwoo was rubbing gentle circles into Daniel's back, whispering soft words of comfort into his ears. 

The others approached more slowly, more cautiously, trying to provide comfort in their own individual ways, no matter how ineffective they might be. Maybe, for the moment, it was the thought that counted. 

Jisung had no idea how long it took for Daniel to finally calm down enough for them to help him to his feet. Seongwoo had tissues to wipe away the tears. Daniel managed to clean up enough to look less than utterly devastated. 

They took the first bus home. It was a quiet ride. No one seemed willing to talk. The joy of getting out of the building seemed like it was a million miles away. Jisung stared out of the window for most of trip back. He cursed Daniel's father in every way he knew, called him every foul name he could think of. 

Daniel thankfully fell asleep about halfway back. He didn't even notice for a while, until he glanced over at Seongwoo to see Daniel snoring faintly on Seongwoo's shoulder. Daniel needed all the sleep he could get especially after something as emotionally draining. 

"We did our best to make sure no one caught it on camera," Jihoon said, his voice barely above a whisper. Jisung's head whipped over to him. He hadn't expected the silence to be broken. 

"Thank you," he said, just as quietly, "I -- I didn't even think of that." 

Jihoon just replied with a soft smile and looked away. 

The strange silence returned. 

The bus ride was shorter than he'd expected. Maybe shorter than he'd wanted. The solitude and small degree of anonymity the bus provided brought an odd comfort. 

It came to their stop and they gathered their bags and woke Daniel up. He woke groggily, his eyes fluttering open slowly, blinking between the blood red and the usual black. 

Jisung didn't dare raise his voice above a whisper. "We're back." 

A nod came in response. 

They left the bus with just as much silence as they had come on it. It was beginning to darken outside. 

Daniel spoke for the first time since his breakdown. "I think I'm going to go back to my room. I -- I need some time to think." 

They all nodded. Daehwi, Park Woojin and Samuel left to their room, and Jihoon and Lee Woojin followed them soon after. It was probably for the best. They began the next challenge tomorrow. And then the elimination soon after. 

"Goodnight," Jisung said, before pausing and adding, "Good luck with tomorrow... try not to think about what today too much." 

Daniel smiled tightly, tiredly. "I don't plan on it. But it's gonna be hard." Another pause. "I kind of wish someone had stopped me. Maybe then I could've" -- his voice caught -- "could've gone on pretending that he cared." 

"How long would that illusion have lasted, Daniel?" Jisung said, his voice close to a whisper, "He never answered your calls, he never reached out to you, he never so much as sent a text. The dream was going to shatter sooner or later. Maybe it's better that it was now. It gives you more time to..." 

The smile grew tighter. "I have all the time in the world, Jisung. I don't need any more of it." 

"Yeah. But your dad doesn't."

Daniel fell silent. He glanced over at Seongwoo, the only one left, who was watching them silently, so quiet that Jisung had forgotten he was there. Then his eyes returned to Jisung. 

Jisung was the one to break the silence. "At least now you can move on. You don't have to worry about him." 

"I don't really want to. Move on. I know I should but... I wish things could go back. To how they were. I -- I don't absolutely hate being a vampire, not anymore, but I still miss being human. I miss my dad. And my mom. I miss hunting, as fucked up as it was and as much as I hated it. I miss knowing who I was. When people asked who I was I didn't have to think so hard about it. Kang Daniel meant one big thing. Now it means a million little things, fragments of a puzzle that don't really belong together."

Jisung had no answer for that.

Daniel shook his head. "I'm just gonna go to bed. I'm too tired. Of everything. I though I was beginning to understand, but clearly not. Goodnight." 

"Goodnight," was all that he said back. 

He watched Daniel and Seongwoo's retreating backs disappear into the black of the unlit hallways. Then he stared into the void for an awfully long time, as though it would provide some answers to it all. But it said nothing and delivered no comforts. 

It took far too long for Jisung to look away.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> yeah I'm sorry. Probably the least fun reunion ever? Um. At least I hope you enjoyed the funny parts, at least? 😅


	23. XXII

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Well, onto elimination number 2! everyone's going so fast T-T but hopefully the main crew will be safe >:)

The elimination couldn't come fast enough. 

If the last one had been tense, it was incomparable to this one. Every trainee in that room wanted to get into the next round. Every trainee believed they deserved to get into the next round. They had a song to complete, one the National Producers have chosen specifically for them, and they were not going to let them down. They would've gladly killed to get a seat, any seat of the thirty-five. 

Except Daniel. Daniel was like a man waiting for death, placing his head down on the chopping block to let the executioner slice it off. 

They shouldn't have gone to Seoul yesterday. They should've just stayed in the building. They should've waited the boredom out. At least they'd be bored then, not broken. 

It was a strange juxtaposition, the burning flames of the other trainees' passion all around him contrasing with the cold indifference of Daniel.

He should've said something, given some comforting words, shown some gesture of something positive. But he didn't. Instead, he just stared at the cameras, his head filled with swirling, horrifying thoughts.

The thought that kept cropping up, stupid and so believable, was what if because of Daniel's sudden withdrawn attitude, the audience thought he was ungrateful. If they thought he was unworthy of their votes because he wasn't displaying enough love or enough gratitude and stopped voting for him all together. Pushed him into an elimination in the next round. Killed Daniel's dream before it had a chance to be realised. 

The thought lingered for longer than it should have, only returning to its usual place in the corners of his mind when BOA came on to a round of applause. 

She smiled that pretty, neutral smile. "Hello, trainees. I don't know if it's because we're getting closer to debut, but your stares while practising were very passionate. However, as mentioned earlier, only 35 from those here will go up on stage for the concept evaluation." 

The fires of determination burned hotter around him, everyone reminded of the fact that some of them wouldn't move forward to the second last evaluation. But Daniel still didn't react, staring blankly ahead of him. 

Suddenly, as BoA looked down at the cue card, a gasp burst from her lips. 

Jisung's heart stopped. His mind immediately grabbed at the worst outcomes, that he'd been eliminated or Daniel had been eliminated or somehow, something even worse than those two scenarios had happened.

"Everyone, the previous round of voting garnered a total of 24 million votes. The votes garnered this time..." 

A pause. Everyone was holding their breath. 

"Over twice the amount that was in the first ranking announcement." 

He thought that she'd turn around, laugh and say that she was joking. That they'd actually gotten less votes. That it wasn't almost the entire population of Korea voting. That not that many people actually cared about them, trainees who hadn't even managed to debut yet. 

"A total of 55,365,681 votes were cast." 

Oh. She wasn't joking. This was real. There were actually that many votes given. That many people invested in them, that many people that cared about them. Jisung couldn't breathe. It had been barely over a month ago when no one had given a shit about most of them and now... almost all of South Korea cared.

"This incredible amount of votes decides who will remain amongst the fifty-eight trainees. And with that, I will announce your ranks. As per the last elimination, the final place, 35th, will be announced after 1st place has been announced. This is the 34th place."

The tension mounted. Beside him, Hyunbin was shaking so violently that he kept accidentally hitting him. 

"I was very surprised when I saw this first page. Having received a total of 645,110 votes..." 

Over half a million. Over a half a million votes and they were at the very bottom. Jisung didn't dare look at the throne at the top but he couldn't help but wonder how many votes the first place trainee would have. Half a million already seemed like too much. 

"During the position evaluation last time, this trainee didn't show potential as an idol." 

That eliminated Daniel fairly easily. But it meant he'd either have had jumped five places or seven now. Seven spots. That seemed like a huge jump, for just one week of voting. Could his position evaluation have been that good? 

He looked over at Daniel, hoping to see that he was paying a bit more attention now that they'd actually started. But Daniel just stared in the distance, buried so deep in his own mind that Jisung wasn't sure if he'd ever be able to find his way out. 

Hyunbin turned to him, snapping him out of the depths of his own mind. "I think it's me. Everyone here knows I have no potential as an idol."

All Jisung did to offer some sort of comfort was to lay a reassuring hand on his shoulder. Maybe on a better day, when what had happened yesterday wasn't lingering his mind and Daniel's utter lack of expression didn't make his soul shiver, he would've said something. Silence was all he could offer today.

Hyunbin glanced at him, looking like he expected Jisung to say something. Still, the silence held. Jisung broke away from his gaze. He'd let down enough people as it was. He didn't need to add anymore to that list.

"YGK+ trainee Kwon Hyunbin." 

Hyunbin's face split into a huge grin. Jisung dared to meet his eyes and they still screamed of want, of a need for comfort and congratulations, even as his smile was one of relief. 

Jisung just smiled half-heartedly. 

"Next is the trainee ranked 33rd. Having received a total of 691,611 votes." 

The seat beside him felt awfully cold and empty with Hyunbin gone. And Daniel was providing no warmth, even colder than usual in his apathy. He kept glancing over at him, as though expecting his expression to change. It never did.

"WIDMAY's trainee Kim Yehyun." 

Eight places to jump or five. 

He hoped it was the eight. The eight would be so much easier. He wouldn't have to be as scared for the next round, he'd be able to hope a little more, to spend less time worrying. The higher Daniel managed to get, the easier it would be. The closer to debut he would be. 

But even the eight places seemed like too much. He'd already jumped eighteen places, could he really pull off a second massive jump? Had public opinion around him changed so quickly? 

But the next rank was Jang Moonbok's and 31st went to Takada Kenta and 30th was claimed by Lee Gunhee and the one after that by Kim Donghyun and 28th was Woodam's and Jisung was losing hope. 

Yehyun's 20 place jump made it seem like maybe, just maybe, Daniel could make it through but Yehyun hadn't had two giant jumps, one after another. It was usually only one jump. One big jump and that was it. 

What if last week had been Daniel's big jump and that was his final position coming? He'd almost cleared the hurdle but not quite and maybe that was it. That was as close as he was going to get. 

It scared Jisung more than it should've, wrapping around his heart and brain like a snake, preparing to squeeze its prey to death. 

He wanted to dismiss back into the depths of his mind from where it had risen but it refused to budge, having clasped around him much too tightly to be pushed away. 

27th. Kim Sanggyun. 

He dared to look at Daniel, once more. No reaction. He still looked deflated and broken, and like he really didn't want to be there. He'd given up long before Jisung had begun doubting his miraculous ascension to the 35 who got through. 

26th. Lee Woojin. 

Woojin looked over at Daniel as he walked up to his position on the stage. Daniel was like a statue, stationary and emotionless. 

25th. Ha Sungwoon.

Fifteen places. Daniel would have to jump fifteen places. 

24th. Seo Seonghyuk.

Any hope that Daniel was getting through was slipping through his fingers like it was made of sand.

23rd. Lee Euiwoong. 

Jisung didn't want to listen any longer. He didn't want to be tormented any longer. He wished he could just plug his fingers like a three year old and scream at the top of his lugs to block it out. He wanted no more. He was so sick of Mnet, so sick of eliminations, so sick of the entire competition. He just wanted it all to be over. That hope that Produce had provided him with months ago seemed a million miles away.

But he listened anyway and his heart swelled with hope every time he thought heard MMO or Kang or anything he thought might hint at Daniel. He was torturing himself at this stage, no help from Mnet required. 

"Next, the 22nd. With a total of 865,127 votes, this trainee is pushing his way upwards week by week, through his incredible dancing skills."

Jisung couldn't even find it in himself to hope, even to consider the possibility that it might be Daniel. How could he possibly rise eighteen places two weeks in a row? He wasn't sure that many vampires were watching the show. Not enough to propel Daniel to 22nd. Not enough to get him any higher than thirty-fifth. He sat back, waiting for the announcement of thirty-fifth position or his own.

"MMO Entertainment's Kang Daniel." 

Jisung froze, sure he'd heard it wrong. His eyes moved over to Daniel, as though looking for confirmation of his own mistaken hearing, prepared to see Daniel slumped over with the same indifference.

But Daniel was seated upright, his eyes wide and grasping onto the arm rests so tightly that Jisung was sure it would leave dents. He finally met Jisung's gaze, looking like the ground had vanished from underneath him. 

He stood up from his seat with shaking legs, accepting a hug from Seongwoo without hugging back. He wasn't breathing. Samuel patted him on the back and he didn't even smile, still moving as though his legs were made of jelly. 

Daniel somehow made it onto the stage without falling down, walking past the other trainees like he was on autopilot and his mind was a million miles away. Lee Woojin was staring at him with the biggest grin on his face but Daniel didn't so much as glance in his direction. 

Jisung couldn't make out what Daniel was thinking. Right when it had vanished, the apathy had returned, mixed in with a million other indiscernible emotions. 

If BoA or anyone else had continued, Jisung hadn't noticed. He spent his time trying to decipher the indecipherable, to figure out what lay behind those eyes. If Daniel had seen his stare, he hadn't acknowledged it. Then again, he wasn't identifying anything. 

It was only when Daniel had begun speaking that his focus returned to reality. 

Kim Taedong and Noh Taehyun had joined the others on the stage, in 21st and 20th respectively. 

"I want to thank the National Producers for giving me another chance and voting for me even it seemed like I'd be eliminated. I hope that I can fulfil your expectations and I work hard in the next round. Fighting!" 

In comparison to the last elimination's rousing, heart-wrenching speech, it felt empty. It was serviceable, it was fine, it would probably just be cut out in editing. It wasn't anything special. It was just another gratitude speech in a sea of others. 

The mask was on, the smile he was wearing almost as convincing as the real thing. It made the hairs on the back of Jisung's neck stand on end. He'd never seen Daniel fake his emotions in such a way before. It was pretty, it was idol-like, it was perfect, like a very realistic statue was wearing Daniel's face and doing its best impression of him. It didn't look like the Daniel he knew, the one that meant the world to him, with the genuine, shining smile that could light up the whole room. He looked away as quickly as he could, feeling sick to his stomach.

The trainees took their seats. They moved on. Now he had to wait for his position. 

The words "drastic rank changes" gripped his heart with more fear than it should've. He was safe, right? How much further could he fall from thirteenth? Daniel's massive fall had been a rare phenomenon, not the rule. He couldn't be eliminated. 

But with 1,102,000 votes for 19th place, getting more than that seemed like far too many for him to gain. Over a million votes for him? He'd been second last in his group in the position evaluation. Why would they vote for him? He couldn't even do well, according to the audience, at what was meant to be his speciality.

Every time that BoA seemed shocked at someone's rank, his heart seized. How far could he have fallen? How far would the audience let him drop? Had they realised that he was old or ugly or mediocre, had they finally abandoned him, gotten sick of his only talent, making people laugh sometimes? 

Every rise, every fall scared him too death and he kept wondering if it was him they'd displaced, him they'd pushed down or forced out. 

Samuel's huge drop scared him the most. 2nd to 15th. Thirteen ranks. From contender for centre to out of the top eleven. If someone as talented and beloved as Samuel could have the audience turn on him so quickly, what hope did he have? How could he possibly afford to hope when not even the best were getting into the top ranks, when it was shifting so much? He felt like he was going to vomit, the mere thought that maybe he would end up following Samuel's downward trajectory enough to scare him so deeply that it made him sick. 

Everyone knew Samuel deserved better. But would he? Did he deserve better than the rank he might receive? Jisung couldn't find a reason why he should be higher than Samuel. Why he should reclaim his position in third. 

Even BoA seemed to berating the audience, as frustrated with Samuel's low rank as everyone else. But would they be frustrated with his? Jisung wasn't sure if he wanted that question answered. 

For 14th, BoA's face mirrored the one she'd made for Samuel and Jisung all but sat back. He wasn't that good. He didn't deserve to be compared to Samuel. It would be Seongwoo or Park Woojin or Daehwi. All those possibilities only made him feel worse. He didn't deserve to be above any of them in ranking either. They were all top eleven material. They were all idol material, all talented and beloved and young and filled with hope for the future. Jisung was none of that. His hope was just cruel weapon that his own emotions used against him. 

"MMO's..." 

Jisung hesitated. Jinwoo would rise if he'd claimed that position. He wasn't going to elicit the kind of expression BoA had pulled. 

He almost dared to wonder if he wasn't just the old, ugly, mediocre, funny one. It was a scary thought, trying to dismiss what had become so central to his identity in the last few months. It felt like it was a part of him now, a part of his being, intrinsically linked to the name 'Yoon Jisung'.

"Trainee Yoon Jisung." 

Jisung was sure he'd heard wrong. But everyone's eyes were on him, a strange mix of expression in the crowd. Ones he didn't expect. Like BoA's expression. Like they wanted him to be higher. Like they thought he deserved higher. He stumbled into a few hugs, his mind still racing a million miles a minute as he tried to wrap his head around the thought that maybe he did had worth. Maybe he wasn't just Jisung: old, ugly, mediocre and hopeless. 

Some of them were doing that dumb clap he'd created and his eyes were watering but he swore he wasn't going to cry, not over something like this. He couldn't afford to cry. 

He met BoA's eyes for a second and she was smiling at him, like she too wanted him to be higher. Like she thought he deserved better. 

It was a strange feeling. The realisation that maybe people had voted for him for a reason. Minseok had tried to tell him so. But it seemed so inconceivable that he could be anything more than just a horror story about overstaying your welcome as a trainee, thriving on false hope. He'd been that for so long, so fucking long that he couldn't wrap his head around the thought that maybe he was talented and beloved and deserving. The thought of giving into that hope again, the one that kept turning to dust every time his hands wrapped around it, make his stomach twist. But the temptation was stronger and he gave into anyway, basking in its warmth after so long spent in the cold.

He thought he saw Daniel's mask crack, to see the genuine grin underneath, clapping softly for him. And he couldn't help but mimic that grin, walking up to the stage like it was a victory march. 

It was a strange victory, but it felt like an important one. Like he'd finally been able to use his eyes and realise that people did give a shit about him. That his votes, his rank, the grade he'd gotten weren't the only indicators of his value. 

But the thoughts of the ugly, mediocre, hopeless and old still lingered in the back of his mind, ready to spring on him when the moment was right. Maybe he'd try and fight them a little harder next time. Maybe not. One incident of awareness wasn't going to solve everything. But it was a good place to start. 

As he walked past the other trainees, he pulled Samuel into a deep hug. He didn't want him to feel the same way as he did. He never really wanted anyone to feel the same way as he did but especially in that moment, he didn't want Samuel to feel like that. He wanted to make sure that fall to 15th didn't take a hit on the his self-esteem. And if it did, maybe he could minimise it in some way. He wasn't sure how, but he would sure as hell do his best. 

The rest of the trainees on the fence of the top eleven came up and they went through the speeches. Jisung's was pretty forgettable, but he was still trying to process everything and sort out his own identity crisis so he was willing to let it slide for the moment. He'd think of a better one for the next evaluation. 

Suddenly, BoA asked him as a question. "How do you feel, Jisung?" 

He had no idea how to answer it for several moments but managed to say something. "A lot of people thought I was in low spirits because of, well the obvious, but I promise I'm doing okay. Don't worry about me too much." And he, strangely, found he meant it. If even only a little.

He grinned and pulled some of the usual weird and funny expressions, finishing with a dramatic, relieved forehead wipe. Gotta get that entertainment value and screen time. Maybe it'd up his ranking. 

He hugged Daniel too as he moved up to his seat, the cold hug contrasting with the warm one he'd shared with Samuel but it felt just as genuine, and far more delighted. 

"Move up further, hyung or soon I'll pass you out," Daniel whispered, and there it was again, that sunlit smile. 

"Pshh, you lack the ability to rise up to my position, baby vampire." 

Daniel rolled his eyes but the grin said it all. He turned away and Jisung took his seat to await the top eleven and the thirty-fifth rank. 

11th was claimed by Bae Jinyoung, 10th by Kang Dongho, 9th by Joo Haknyeon, 8th by Jaehwan, 7th by Seongwoo. 

By 6th they'd crossed 2 million votes, something that Jisung hadn't even imagined possible. How many people had voted for the first place position? 

6th went to Minhyun and 5th to Im Youngmin. 

The top four were predictable: Daehwi, Guanlin, Jihoon and Jonghyun. What wasn't predictable was who would go where. Jihoon had been pushed down to 2nd place last week, Daehwi had been in 10th and Guanlin in 5th. 

4th went to Daehwi. Daehwi was the only one who stuck out to him out of the four and for the wrong reasons. He looked far more tired than usual, blinking rapidly like he was trying to fend off sleep, and even as he delivered his speech with a massive, honest smile, his eyelids kept drooping. 

He turned to Samuel, his brows furrowed. "What's wrong with Daehwi? He looks exhausted." 

Samuel shrugged at first, his eyes turning to inspect Daehwi before he let out a sigh and rolled his eyes. "He definitely stayed up too late practicing the Concept Evaluation. He was so excited to get 'Never' that I think he might have gone overboard with the practice. He doesn't shut up about it from dusk to dawn. It's like his vampire obsession's been replaced by a 'Never' obsession. I almost want the vampires back." 

Jisung let his worries fade into the back of his mind. Trust Daehwi to go get obsessed over something else. 

Jihoon was knocked off the throne that seemed to have been safely secured by Jonghyun, falling back into second place. Kim Donghan claimed thirty-fifth place.

Jonghyun in first. A vampire in first place. Something that had seemed so impossible, so alien, so unimaginable that Jisung had never even considered it a possibility. Daniel had made it seem as though the audience would never accept a vampire in the final eleven. But there one was, not only in the final eleven but sitting in first, sitting right at the top and it was the audience that had damned Daniel that had put him there. Granted, no one knew that Jonghyun was the other vampire, but the victory tasted sweet nonetheless.

The greeting to the National Producers sounded strangely quiet. Only thirty five left now. The volume and chatter of one hundred and one trainees seemed like a distant memory. Only two more eliminations and they'd be left with the final eleven. It seemed so close that Jisung could almost touch it.

And, yet, both he and Daniel were outside the final eleven. His eyes drifted towards the eleventh seat and desire flared up in him like an explosion. He wanted to debut. He needed to debut. This was his last chance. He had two rounds left to prove himself, to win the audience back over. He could do it. He had to do it.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Yayayayayayay Jisung has had his first realisation that maybe he isn't hopeless :3 he's getting that little bit better. The self-esteem is improving a fraction. Thank you BoA and the other trainees for whacking it into him 
> 
> also i did not think i could hate mnet more than i already do but wow this dongho thing is really gearing me up to go punch ahn joonyoung and set the mnet building on fire   
> giving anxiety as the reason for rigging him out is such bullshit and gosh dongho you deserve better. on the the plus side, pledis has actually defended an artist for the first time in their existence


	24. XXIII

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Prepare for a lot of rage because Jisung really needs to work through his issues and begin dealing with that (but of course, he won't -_- not yet anyway)   
> Anyway! Welcome to the second half of the Concept Evaluation! I really hope you enjoy the chapter! :33333

They began the next day with BoA explaining how Concept Evaluation was going to work. 

Jisung zoned out more than he should've but he got the gist of it. 2000 audience members, vote after watching all five and two votes each, one for their preferred member and one for their preferred team. The 220,000 votes for the winning team was reiterated and they'd get to perform the stage again on Mnet Countdown. 

Then they had to focus on the real problem: the 23 eliminated trainees had not been eliminated evenly across the board and some teams were too big and others too small. 

The sound of 'the Re-Adjustment' was one that caused terror to wrap itself around Jisung's heart. He didn't want to lose 'Show Time'. It had been chosen for him, it suited him, even if he'd struggle a little with how high-pitched it was, he wanted it. It was his. He couldn't lose it. Not when the fickle audience had actually given him something he liked, not when he was beginning to make real progress on the moves, on the singing, on everything, not when he was beginning to intertwine it with his identity. 

A glance around at the others showed the sentiment was shared. Daehwi was shaking like a leaf, his face flushed and looking he was on the verge of tears. Samuel had gone pale, his usual smile nowhere to be seen. Even Daniel, so unemotive yesterday, had lost what little blood remained in his face and his chest was still, not so much as a tiny inhale visible. 

"Every group needs seven members." 

Jisung relaxed slightly, letting out the smallest sigh of relief. Their group had six, they'd be getting a member. He had expected Mnet to pull the rug out from underneath his feet, revealing another nasty twist. It should've been irrational but Mnet made any ugly surprise seem plausible.

"Hence, 'Show Time' is in need of another member, as is 'I Know You Know'. Also lacking members is 'Open Up', in need of three more members. However, from the eleven member group 'Never', four people will have to be moved out. From the eight member group 'Oh Little Girl', one member will have to move out." 

If Daehwi had looked scared before it was nothing compared to the expression of sheer terror on his face now. Even Minhyun, Youngmin and Jonghyun looked nervous, as though they weren't sure of the security of their own positions in the group. 

"In order to determine who will be moved, there will be a team progress vote within yourselves. The member with the least votes will have to move out." 

The 'Never' and 'Oh Little Girl' teams surveyed at their teammates, fear and suspicion lurking behind their eyes. The lessons taught in the Team Evaluation had been tossed aside. Now, no one could rely on their teammates. They didn't have a clue who would vote for them and, more importantly, who wouldn't.

"In the groups in need of a member or members, the trainees in the other groups with the highest rank will be able to choose from them."

That meant 'Open Up' would get to choose first. Dongho, in eleventh, was the highest position trainee among the other groups. Three places to fill. They'd grab all the best trainees for sure. He just had to hope there'd be some good ones left over for them.

They all returned to their training rooms, waiting for the voting of which members were up for moving to end, an uncomfortable silence filling the corridors.

The moment they entered the room, Baby Woojin shattered that quiet.

"So, who are you gonna choose, hyung?" 

Jisung offered a shrug as a reply before deciding to elaborate. "Well, I mean, I have no idea who's gonna be voted out." 

Woojin opened and closed his mouth and just nodded. "I didn't think of that." 

"I would say if Daniel was up for voting out we'd try and snatch him," Taehyun said, plopping himself down on the ground.

"I don't think anyone would let go of Daniel if he was up for voting out," Woodam said, his voice laced with some strange emotion that Jisung couldn't quite pin down. It wasn't a positive one. He clenched his jaw but didn't say anything. Infighting had cost him the first round, he wasn't going to let it take another.

Taehyun's ramblings continued. "Imagine if we figured out who the other vampire was before anyone else and we managed to get them." 

Jisung tried not to tense or react. 

"Do you guys wonder who the other vampire is?" Sanggyun said, suddenly, "I mean, they must be a lot older than Daniel if they managed to get away for this long without getting caught." 

Samuel raised his eyebrows. "It's not easy to figure out who's a vampire. They kind of look exactly like humans. Unless you put your hands on everyone to check their temperature or stand close enough to inspect their skin. Or they're as stupid as Daniel." 

"I'm not even gonna contradict that last statement," Jisung said, then paused, "Plus Daniel said the other vampire is like a hundred years old." 

Sanggyun, Woodam and Taehyun's heads whipped over to him.

"Shit, I shouldn't have said that." 

Sanggyun sat up, attentive. "Wait, wait, Daniel knows who the other vampire is?" 

"Yeah, they can smell each other or hear each other's heartbeats or something," Jisung muttered, wishing he could've taken back what he'd said. Clearly, Daniel wasn't the only dumbass from MMO. 

"How would a vampire and human smell be different?" Woojin asked, wrinkling his nose. 

Jisung tried to keep the exasperation out his tone. "Ask Daniel, Woojin, I don't know, I'm not a vampire. Vampires probably smell less tasty." 

"It's probably like a defence mechanism or something, so that they'd don't accidentally try and drink vampire blood," Samuel said. 

Woojin really was pulling out all the questions today. "Why would it be bad to drink another vampire's blood?" 

"It's probably like cannibalism or something," Jisung said weakly, "We're really not the people to be asking about this stuff, Woojin."

Taehyun looked like he wanted to poke and prod, to discover the identity of the second vampire but Jisung pushed the topic back to re-adjustment.

"Anyway, back to the choosing of other members. What positions do we actually need?" 

Taehyun and Sanggyun looked deflated at the change in topic but didn't attempt to change it back. 

Taehyun sighed. "I mean, we kind of don't need anyone. We have dancers, rappers and singers. We kind of don't need anyone else."

"I mean, it probably won't even matter anyway because Dongho's gonna grab all the really good trainees," Woojin moaned. 

Jisung opened and closed his mouth and then opened it again. "I was gonna disagree with you on that but no, you're a hundred percent right." 

"Maybe we could let Moonbok join? He really wants to join Show Time," Samuel said, looking around at the rest of them. 

Jisung shrugged. "We'll see, I guess." 

The conversation lulled, for what felt like an awfully long time.

"Wow, it's taking them forever," Woojin said, lying on the ground and staring up at the ceiling. 

"Woojin, it's been six minutes," Taehyun said, with raised eyebrows. 

Woojin let out a groan and turned over, so that his face was planted in the floor. 

"That did not feel like six minutes," Samuel said, scepticism leaking into his tone.

"I mean, the clock says it was six minutes, so I'm going with the clock, which I feel like is a bit more reliable than the Samuel clock." 

Suddenly, a staff member poked their head in the door and said they were to go back to the room where they'd had the meeting with BoA earlier.

They wandered back to the room, which was all over the place, everyone chatting while waiting for the camera crew and the other trainees to come. Jisung could hear them down the corridor before they'd entered. 

The rest of his group basically vanished upon entering the room, so he made his way over to Daniel, who was sitting alone, occasionally glancing over at the other trainees. Seongwoo wasn't here yet. 

He plopped down next to him, the biggest, cheesiest grin on his face. "We both made it through, yay us!" He did his stupid little clap. 

The hints of a smile appeared on Daniel's face, but it didn't seem to reach his eyes. He kept quiet.

Jisung pushed on the conversation nonetheless. Maybe talk of Minseok would be a little less tense? Daniel had been really excited about getting a sire, after all. "So, I never managed to ask how everything's going with him." 

Daniel's jaw clenched. "I think the relationship between us is pretty fucking obvious right about now." 

Jisung's brow furrowed. "Uh, what?" 

Daniel didn't elaborate. 

"Wait, I think we might be talking about different people here." 

It was Daniel's turn to look confused. "Wait, we're talking about my dad right?" 

"Uh, no, Daniel, why the hell would I bring up something as sensitive as that? I'm stupid, not tactless, give me some credit here." 

Daniel's cheeks went pastel pink. "Um... who were you talking about then?" 

"Your soon-to-be sire?" 

"Oh, Mi -- him." Daniel laughed nervously but brightly. He already looked much less withdrawn and in the dumps than he had before. "Um, sorry. It takes a while to register as someone's sire or something, so he's got to fill out a load of paperwork first." 

"You excited?" 

"I mean, yeah, I get a famous idol that I really respect as a sire. I mean, I get a sire at all. I kind of thought no one would want me."

Before Jisung had a chance to respond, the Never team, followed by BoA, walked in and everyone assembled into their lines at rapid pace, so quickly one would think they'd been waiting in them. 

She smiled brightly at them, much more warmly than her usual MC smile, as though trying to comfort the trainees who'd been voted out of their respective songs.

"Hello trainees. We'll start with the trainees who have been shifted out of their songs."

Jisung could already guess who'd been voted out. Most of them did a poor job at hiding it. Sungwoon looked absolutely devastated and irritated, but smiled whenever he caught someone looking at him like he wanted to pretend he wasn't feeling either emotion. Youngmin spent the entire time staring at the ground, Seonho wasn't talking to anyone -- a rare achievement on his part -- and Haknyeon looked he was trying to hide a deep-rooted annoyance. Then again, Haknyeon had one of those faces that either looked like he was annoyed at you or mocking you so he could easily had been in the safe zone. He couldn't really tell who it was for the 'Oh Little Girl' team but looking around at them, it was probably Moonbok. Everyone else was either an adorable visual or an amazing vocalist. And Jihoon and Euiwoong could rap so they had no need for him.

"The highest ranking member of a group that is lacking people, Kang Dongho, please go to the 'Open Up' training room. By Kang Dongho's choice, three members will be chosen for the group." 

Dongho simply nodded, the faint whisperings of a smile on his face. 

"For the remaining two trainees who are not chosen, the next room you'll go to is Yoon Jisung's room, the 'Show Time' training room. Yoon Jisung, you will choose just one member to complete your group." 

Jisung pricked up at the sound of his name and just nodded as well. He glanced back at the rest of his group, meeting Taehyun's eyes who just offered a soft smile and a shrug. He hoped they'd have time to make a proper decision because literally none of them had though it through in any meaningful way. 

"Finally, Kim Taedong will automatically receive the remaining trainee." 

Jisung was just glad he wasn't in either of the songs that had too many members. The mere thoght of being the remaining trainee made his stomach churn. He wasn't sure if he would be able to take such a hit to his self-esteem, right after he'd had a tiny victory in overcoming it. 

Back to the rooms again. They were basically yoyos at this stage. What was the point in them running over and back the entire time?

"I'm gonna be so fit if we continue running back and forth," Seonggyun said, holding the door open for the rest of them, "Like they couldn't find a way to do this, with like, I dunno, a big room or something?" 

"Wow, yeah a really big room would solve all the problems. Not like we'd all be practicing or something. All different choreographies," Woodam said.

Seonggyun shut up. 

They settled back down into the room and it was surprisingly short amount of time before the two remaining trainees came to them.

Everyone's heads popped up at the sound of the knocking. 

"That was fast," Taehyun said, raising his eyebrows. 

"Wait, so who are we choosing?" Jisung said. 

Samuel shrugged. "I mean, we have no idea who out of the five will come, so..."

Woojin was the only of the idiots (himself included) who remembered that they actually had to invite the people in to choose from them. "Come in!" 

Moonbok and Sungwoon stepped in. 

Jisung had to admit he was surprised. He'd thought Sungwoon would've been chosen by the 'Open Up' team for sure. Dongho probably didn't want competition for main vocal spot. 

"Uh, let's gather and think about it," Jisung said, as everyone turned to look at him expectantly, "Give us a second, guys." 

Samuel spoke from the moment they gathered. "We need votes. Sungwoon can get us votes. He's one of the best performers and vocalists and he can definitely help with the dance break. No offence, guys, but me and Taehyun are the only two dance focused trainees and the dance break isn't easy."

Woodam's jaw clenched. "Him being a vocalist is the problem. I'm not risking being snubbed for main vocal again. I didn't get a chance to show it off in the position evaluation, so I need to show my vocals here." 

"He has a point. Part distribution is gonna be much trickier with Sungwoon," Jisung said, trying to ignore that stupid rage that flared up every time Woodam so much as opened his mouth, "Sanggyun is the only rapper we have, we need a second rapper. I don't really want to rap -- I'm a vocalist, not a rapper." 

Sanggyun spoke up next, at rapid speed. "Moonbok has the right energy for Show Time too. He's a nice guy as well. And he wanted to be part of it, so he'll have enthusiasm." 

Woojin frowned. "I think the dance break is kind of important though. We need to look good for it, we can't just choose Moonbok because he wants it. And his ranking's been going down every week." 

All eyes turned to Taehyun, who was very quiet. 

"What do you think, Taehyun? He's your bandmate, you know him best," Jisung said, his voice quiet. 

Taehyun inhaled deeply, his eyes flitting over to Sungwoon before he spoke. "Sungwoon is one of the most talented trainees here, easily. He could help a lot with the dance break and really elevate the song vocal-wise, and he's ranked higher than Moonbok... but I don't want to lose my lines. I know if he joins, a lot of us will probably be pushed to the side in terms of line distribution." He met Jisung's eyes. "It's up to you. Votes or lines?" 

Jisung chewed on his lip, wringing his fingers and turned to the two trainees. They were staring him, Moonbok with hope and Sungwoon with despair. Sungwoon looked like a man who'd already lost, already in the process of accepting his defeat. 

He opened his mouth. Votes or lines? Votes or lines? Which meant more to him? Which did he need more? 

"The trainee I want to join us is Ardor and Able Ha Sungwoon," he said, before he was even sure of the answer to Taehyun's question. 

Sungwoon's face lit up as Jisung handed him the top. He looked so surprised, as though his defeat had been so definite that he hadn't even considered the possibility of victory. He kept bowing, thanking them, smiling so widely it looked almost like a caricature. 

Moonbok just smiled softly and thanked them. Jisung pulled him into an apologetic hug, feeling like an absolute shitbag deep down. He was already wondering if he'd made the right choice. Maybe it would've been easier to choose Moonbok. Easier to claim more lines for himself. He just hoped his gamble in choosing Sungwoon had paid off. 

Moonbok left, his smile looking very forced and Sungwoon sat down with them, that giant grin still on his face. 

Taehyun's grin matched it and they almost immediately started bantering.

Jisung was too deep in his thoughts to pay attention to most of it. All he could think of was of who would have to take the second rapper position. They were all vocalists, except Sanggyun. Woojin, Woodam and Sungwoon had all chosen vocal position as their speciality and Taehyun and Samuel still stood as excellent vocalists. So where did that leave him? He'd been one of the lowest ranked trainees in his chosen position so would they force him into the rap position? His stomach tumbled at the mere thought. He would lose votes. For definite. He couldn't afford to slip further in the rankings. 

He tried to push those thoughts away and focus on the light-hearted back-and-forth instead, between two labelmates. 

"No, no, Show Time is my favourite song, honest," Sungwoon said, his ears flushed in a way that very much contradicted the statement. 

Taehyun hit back with ease. "Your ears bright red, you liar."

His ears only flushed brighter. "This is their natural complexion!" 

"What, were you born with tomato ears?" 

"You know what, I was and now you're bullying me for something I can't control. My heart's already been destroyed by Never and now you're crushing the tiny pieces leftover." 

Jisung raised his eyebrows, grinning. "Are you planning on becoming an idol or poet, Sungwoon?" 

"Why not both? But seriously I'm so wounded that now we have to beat them." 

"You're really angry, huh?" Woodam said, his grin tense, hiding fury. He kept glancing over at Jisung, as though glaring at him, like it was all his fault. It kind of was but that wasn't the point. He wasn't exactly in the mood to deal with Woodam's shit right now.

"I'm ready to fight someone. Preferably the Never team." 

Jisung snorted. "Seven trainees against one small ball of anger, place your bets now." 

Suddenly, Samuel put his hand on Sungwoon's knee. "Hyung, do you want to be leader then?" 

Sungwoon paused, his expression looking a lot more sheepish. "Uh. I don't know how to put this. But. Uh. Actually, I kinda want... to be centre." 

Jisung was sure he'd misheard. Surely, no one had the audacity to be accepted into another team and then try and go for the centre position. After they'd been kicked out of their own team. When the two contenders for centre from the previous round of choosing were still there. Still ready to go for the position. He couldn't even hide how angry and done he was. He really wanted to be centre. He needed to redeem himself, if only a little, from the group evaluation. He was already going up against Samuel, he didn't need to fight Sungwoon too. 

A burst of laughter came from the other trainees. Jisung couldn't find it in himself to laugh. His blood boiled and his hands were clenched into fists and he was so irrationally angry that he thought he might actually punch Sungwoon. Maybe he should've chosen Moonbok. He tried to play off it off a joke. But while the others were grinning and teasing, he still saw red. 

Taehyun spoke up after they finally stopped laughing. "I mean, he has every right to go for it." 

"I mean, I don't want any of the other parts," Sungwoon said. 

Woodam relaxed and Jisung's fists clenched tighter, his nails digging into his palm. Maybe it was because Woodam had wanted to choose Moonbok. And now he was proven right. And he wasn't even going to suffer the consequences. Maybe it was he was still angry at all the shit Woodam had spewed from his mouth in the Position Evaluation. Maybe he was just holding too much in and this was his body's way of punishing him for it. But the fact remained that Sungwoon wanted centre, not main vocal. Woodam was safe and he was not. 

"Centre has a lot of singing parts," he said, forcing his voice to be calmer and more light-hearted. 

"Oh?" 

The urge to slam his first into his face and break those fucking Harry Potter glasses and his fucking nose only grew. Sure. Fucking sure. As if Sungwoon didn't know that Centre had a lot of vocal parts. Not like he'd chosen vocal in the last position evaluation. Not like he'd contended with Jaehwan for main vocal. Not like he was one of the best vocalists in the entire fucking competition and Jisung was just fucking useless and could never become centre because he couldn't hit those fucking notes. 

A part of him understood, that Sungwoon was just a trainee, talented or no, and he was sitting outside the 22nd position, and definitely outside the new final rank. As far as they knew, he and Samuel were safe. Sungwoon was not. 

But Jisung was too furious to listen to reason. He snuffed those thoughts out, before they could take hold, the deep-seated rage overpowering. He wanted to be centre. He needed to centre. He needed to make up for last time, to prove he was fucking worth it, he was talented, he was able to pull in the audience vote. He wasn't just the fucking old trainee. 

"So, will you guys show the" -- Taehyun played an imaginary guitar -- "that part? And then we vote?" Then he paused and looked around. "No one else wants to be centre, right?" 

No one else raised their hand. 

The fear acted like water, momentarily quelling the fires of his rage. He couldn't do the killing part when he was this angry. It had to be bouncy and light and cheerful and Jisung was none of those things right now. He was still ready to punch Sungwoon in the face. He was still so angry he could hardly think straight. 

Samuel hopped up to go first. He was still smiling brightly, as the music turned on, though wiggling his body in a way that clearly showed he was nervous. 

Jisung met Sungwoon's eyes for a moment. They looked apologetic in some regard, like he knew what he was doing was, to some degree, wrong but they burned with the determination he'd seen in the last round. Fuck him. He should've known. He should've expected as much. He wasn't letting Sungwoon get that centre position. It felt like his internal organs were on fire, burning up with how much fury he was holding back. He was surprised he hadn't broken. He hadn't actually punched Sungwoon yet.

Neither of them wanted to break away first. Jisung didn't even glance at Samuel when the cue was hit, fists clenched so tightly it felt like the skin of his palms was going to break. He was not going to back down. He didn't give a shit about being bouncy and cheerful.

Sungwoon looked away and towards Samuel, his expression a little less confident. Fucking good. Ensure he doubted himself. He shouldn't have gone for centre. He shouldn't have pushed his luck so far. They'd already made a gamble by choosing him. 

Samuel sat down and he sat up. The fear returned. He wasn't in the right place right now maybe he could ask for some more time ask Sungwoon to go first ask them to let him shake it off a bit before he did it. But they were all looking at him expectantly. 

The music played. He swallowed hard. His heart was pounding in his ears. He could see Sungwoon staring up at him. 

The cue played and he smiled as brightly at he could, trying to utilise the only thing he was any good at -- expressions. But even as he performed it, he knew it wasn't his best. He was heavy-footed, his moves weren't clear, his vocals were all over the place. He wasn't going to win. He hadn't even finished and he'd already lost. 

He crumbled back down to the floor, after the ten seconds, a half-hearted smile on his face. He expected the least. Especially after Sungwoon did his, charismatic and cute and excitable, even without having learned all the moves, everything he should've been and Jisung's heart sunk to the bottom of his stomach, deep in his guilt and shame and embarrassment. 

He shouldn't have been so angry. It had been so stupid to be so angry. He'd gained literally nothing out of it. All it had done was cemented his inability to be centre. 

The voting seemed to take an eternity. They were whispering and chatting amongst themselves, giggling and musing and Jisung's heart clenched with every laugh or banter or glance over at them. He couldn't help but wonder if they were talking about him, laughing about how shit his performance was, and his stomach twisted at the thought. He knew he was shit. He knew he was awful. He knew it'd been shit, that he could've done it all better if they'd give him a second chance he wouldn't disappoint he promised -- 

They returned to the group and Woojin was holding a sheet of paper, staring at it intensely and then glancing at the others before returning his gaze to the sheet. He cleared his throat with a high-pitched, cute sound. 

"The chosen one for centre for 'Show Time' is..." 

Jisung couldn't breathe for a few minutes, his hands shaking and just praying that somehow, through defying of all odds and all rights that he somehow claimed centre over two much more talented trainees. 

"Brave Entertainment's Kim Samuel!" 

Jisung smiled as best he could, slipping on the mask to hide the hurt and the anger and the disappointment. The cameras were watching. He couldn't risk looking bad in front of them. Maybe it was for the best. He and Sungwoon would probably have been at each other's throats if it had been either of them. And Samuel was a good kid. He deserved it after such a big fall last week. 

Samuel's jaw was hanging open but his eyes glimmered with joy, staring around at the others. 

"Rip off the sticker, hyung!" Woojin said, grinning. 

The words were like a blunted blade to the heart. A massive smile spread across his face and he began tearing it off, as best he could, with as much comedy as he could inject into it. 

"Rip it off!" Taehyun said, grinning and it was just as painful as the first time.

He flung it to the wind and wished he could cast off the hurt with it. 

Woodam obviously got the main vocal he wanted badly. Taehyun claimed leader. Everything seemed settled by then but Sanggyun cleared his throat, right before they began practicing. 

"Who's going to be the second rapper?" 

The question everyone had been avoiding. No one wanted to take a rapper position when they were all vocalists. They had two performances left until the final eleven. No one could risk sacrificing anything for either one of them. 

No reply came. Sanggyun continued. "Because I can't rap both parts on my own and it's only written with seven parts in mind. Someone's going to have to be second rapper." 

Samuel spoke up. "I obviously can't do it," he said, quietly. 

Woodam nodded. "Neither can I." 

Everyone was looking at each other now, as though studying who to pick out, who they could push into the role to avoid it. 

Jisung didn't want to do it. He didn't care if the song was too high. It was too high for Samuel as well. He'd figure it out. He would. He wasn't sacrificing his position when he'd fallen twelve places between eliminations. He needed this to make them love him again. 

But no one was volunteering and Sanggyun was beginning to look fed up. "Guys, I know you're all vocalists but someone has to do it. We need a second rapper because the producers have written the song for two rappers. I don't care how s -- bad you are, I can t--" 

"I'll do it." Jisung didn't know what he was saying. He was being stupid. He should've let someone else take it, he should've thought more about himself, should've remembered he had fallen so quickly, that he needed to debut, that this was his last fucking chance, that he was the oldest here -- 

And that was exactly it. He was the eldest. That was what the hyung had to do, right? Look out for those younger than him, take on the biggest responsibilities and burdens and make sure everyone was safe and protected and make sure no one was as scared as he was. That no one had to suffer like he did. He didn't want the others to be scared for their results or to have to take a risk when almost all of them here were outside the 22nd mark. Sure, he'd dropped but, at least for the moment, he was safe, as far as he knew. 

Maybe the logic didn't make sense when he thought too hard about it but it made sense to him, in a strange way. It only needed to make sense to him after all. It was him who was sacrificing his vocal position. 

"Are you sure hyung?" Woojin said, his expression somewhere between joy and regret. 

"Yeah, yeah, it's fine," Jisung said, grinning broadly, waving his hand dismissively, "Surely rapping can't be that hard." 

Sanggyun laughed but it sounded half-hearted and his brows were pulled together, his smile breaking when he bit his lip. 

"So, teach this rap thing, O Only Rapper of Our Group." 

The smile returned, a lot more genuine as Sanggyun began going through the lines with him. 

Jisung tried not to think about the fifteen attached to his top, or the uncomfortable emptiness on his chest where the crown sticker had once been, and just listen to Sanggyun. 

They spent the rest of the day practicing, now that everyone had been assigned their roles. Taehyun had been right: Sungwoon took the third biggest vocal after main vocal and centre, pushing everyone else down in lines. It had better pay off. It had to. Jisung didn't know what he'd do if it didn't. 

They jumped between vocal practice and dance practice, a strange situation for Samuel, who couldn't sing the notes necessary for the centre position but was basically in charge of teaching the dance. He was easily the best dancer and the energy of the song fit him like a glove, but he couldn't actually sing it. Which was a bit of big problem. 

But Jisung couldn't get too buried in that problem when he was dealing with his own. The rap lines he was getting were few and far between. It felt like less of an actual rap position and more of just-occasionally-saying-stuff position. Which kind of made his position irrelevant. They would literally lose nothing from his five or six lines. He'd pulled the short end of the stick, easily. He was just going to have to focus on the dancing instead to somehow get people to vote for him. 

So he spent most of the time learning and perfecting the dance and barely any time on his lines. Sanggyun looked like he wanted to say something about it but what could he say? Sorry that your role has six seconds worth of lines, but you have to practice for the same amount of time as the others have to practice for their full minute of lines? He tried to keep himself from getting too angry or disappointed but he wasn't sure if he succeeded. He almost cried at one stage. It was stupid and he knew it but it didn't feel stupid. The lines would be the only time the camera would focus on him. And it was hard to vote for someone you never see. 

His mood wasn't helped by the boiling fury that pushed up his throat every time Woodam so much as glanced at him. He wasn't quite sure how he managed to keep himself from acting on it, from jabbing Woodam with the blades that he'd impaled him with, but it was probably the same way he avoided dealing with everything else: shoving it down and ignoring its existence. So the atmosphere stayed far too tense, but at least they weren't fighting. At least he hadn't torn everything to shreds because of some petty feud.

He was half-tempted to stay up late and practice but what was the fucking point. He had basically nothing to practice. So he just trudged back to his room, feeling like shit. Hopefully tomorrow would be easier or something. There wasn't even an urge to go find the others or talk to his roommates or anything. Straight to sleep it was.

Suddenly, he was tapped on the shoulder and almost jumped eight feet in the air. He turned to see Taehyun, his chest heaving like he'd ran a marathon, his hands shaking. 

"Jisung, do you know where Daniel is?" 

His mind immediately raced to the worst case scenario. Was Daniel missing? Had he vanished, had someone got him, had some of his dad's old friends come to enact their counter-revenge, had his Dad come to kill him?

All he managed was, "W-why?" 

"It's important. Like one of my roommates locked himself inside our room and is refusing to come out important," Taehyun said between deep breaths. 

Jisung almost let out a sigh of relief. The worry on Taehyun's face made him hold it back. 

"He's probably in his room, I'll go get him." 

Taehyun nodded, his face pale. "Be quick. Please. I think it's serious." 

The fear in Taehyun's face kickstarted Jisung's muscles. He all but ran to Daniel's room. His heart was in his throat. He almost didn't want to find out what it was. Why did he need Daniel? 

He knocked on the door to Daniel's dorm. Frantically. Footsteps from inside. Daniel opened the door. Jonghyun was seated on the bed beside Daniel's. 

"Jisung?" 

Confusion was etched across Daniel's features. Jonghyun rose to his feet. His expression matched Daniel's. 

"Taehyun said he needs you." 

"--Why?" 

"Quickly. I don't know why, he wouldn't clarify, ask him when we meet up with him. He looked scared." 

Jonghyun spoke up. "Should I come?" 

Daniel glanced back at him. "Probably. It wouldn't do any harm." 

A nod. 

"Quick." 

The two followed him. He ran. His legs burned. Too much practice. The vampires kept pace easily. 

They met up with Taehyun swiftly. They walked as they spoke. No time to stop. Taehyun's face was like a sheet.

"What?" Daniel asked. 

"I don't know. One of my roommates, not Sungwoon, but it could be one of the other three, locked the door. Not that weird, but unusual. Then we heard a scream. What if someone broke in? Or someone got hurt? Shit, the other three are basically kids, fuck." 

"Why me?" 

"You're gonna be a hell of a lot more useful against a robber or something than I am. And the room's still locked. You could break down the door." 

"Break down the door?! W--" 

"Daniel, please, that scream is still ringing in my ears, the other three are fucking kids, I'll blame myself if they get hurt." 

They reached the dorm. His heart was still hammering in his chest. Taehyun tried the door. Still locked. Jisung turned to the other two, his mind racing. 

His stomach did a flip. The expression on Jonghyun's face terrified him. He knew something they didn't. And it wasn't good. If it was in any way associated with vampire senses, Daniel hadn't picked up on it yet. 

"Daniel..." Jonghyun started, his voice barely above a whisper before trailing off, as though whatever he was going to say was better left unsaid. 

"W-will I break it down?" Daniel said, his eyes darting towards Taehyun, who nodded slowly, his eyes fixed on the door. 

Out of the corner of his eye, he saw Samuel walk down the corridor towards them, his brows furrowed. 

"What's going on?" he said, looking between the four, "Why is Daniel going to break a door down?" 

Taehyun pulled Samuel aside to talk about it. Jonghyun's eyes still watery and his hands were trembling so slightly that Jisung barely noticed it. He almost didn't want to know what Jonghyun wasn't telling them if it had shaken him up so much. 

Daniel rammed his elbow into the lock, with all his strength. It didn't break the first time. He slammed into again and this time it hung limply from the door frame. His fingers brushed the door and he paused, glancing back at them, his eyes wide and his chest still. 

The door was pushed open, gently and the stench of sweat hit Jisung first. Maybe there'd been an intense fight. Maybe it was from fear, at being held at knifepoint or gunpoint. The two possibilities made him feel sick to the stomach, and his legs felt like they were made from jelly. 

But as the door opened, there was no attacker in sight. The windows were intact, nothing in the room was damaged, and everything looked normal. The room was in a mess of course but it was a normal mess. A mess to be expected from teenage boys. Nothing to be worried about. Nothing to even be suspicious of. The normality of the entire thing set Jisung's teeth on edge, like his gut was trying to scream that something wasn't quite right, even as his eyes indicated otherwise. There was something missing. Surely there was something they were missing. He didn't take Taehyun for a liar.

Jisung glanced back at Taehyun, whose brows had creased. "I don't understand," he said, "I-I know what I heard. Someone screamed." 

Jisung turned his gaze back to the room and began stepping inside. The stench worsened. His eyes drifted around the dorm, searching for something, anything that might indicate a sign of a struggle or a fight or a cause of some sort of scream. Maybe it had just been one of them pricking their finger on some sharp object or something small like that. Nothing to be worried over. 

But even as his rational mind reached for explanations, the petrified part of him raced to the further corners of impossibility. What if everything looked normal because one of them had been kidnapped? And they were already gone and there was nothing any of them could because they were too late, far too late? What if it was because their body was hidden in the closet and when they went looking for them, they'd open it up and the corpse would come tumbling --

His eyes caught a flash of pink in the corner of his eyes and his entire body sagged in relief. No kidnapping. No death. No strange, ugly event. It was okay. Everything would be okay. His gaze focused on the pink, finding a jumper and brown haircut that indicated pretty clearly it was Daehwi. He was turned away, curled up on the bed, heavy, shuddering breaths coming from him. He'd probably cut himself on some stray piece of wood or something and just was too upset and scared to call for help. That was all. That had to be all. It would be all there was to it.

He tried not to focus on the holes in his suggestion, but they swirled up anyway, unwelcome thoughts only too eager to invite those fears back in. The door had been locked. How could Daehwi have locked the door if he'd cut himself? And, more pressingly, why? Why would he bother if he was too afraid or upset to ask for help? Surely he would've left it open if he was injured, hoping someone would come in? And why would Jonghyun seem like he knew something was off if it was just an injury? Yeah, sure, Daniel going in when someone was injured wouldn't be the best idea because he might lose control or something but Jonghyun hadn't seemed like he was worried about more than that. An injury wasn't something to get worried over. 

Jisung squashed them down, clenching his jaw. He wasn't going to let his fear from stopping him from acting. Or acting like a fucking dick. He just had to help Daehwi, that was it, and it was probably something small. Daehwi was always overdramatic anyway. It was probably a paper cut (but the door, his mind whispered, why lock the door?) and Daehwi just really fucking overreacted and then everyone would laugh it off, because it was something so dumb. He moved closer to him, his steps cautious and quiet, his heart in his mouth even as he tried to force it back down. 

"Daehwi?" he asked, his voice as soft as he could make it. 

The breathing stopped entirely. Jisung tried not to think of what that might mean. Everything was okay. Everything had to be okay. He reached out to lay his hand on the boy's shoulder, his skin prickling, like his gut's screeching that something was wrong had just grown louder. It would all be okay. Everything would be okay. He was just overreacting. Daehwi was probably just overreacting. 

Daehwi flinched away from him. It was a sharp, sudden movement, almost like a statue leaping into movement. Jisung's heart froze, his chest tightening. That mantra of everything would be okay suddenly seemed like it was made of glass, hollow and all too fragile. He tried to cling onto it anyway, even as he gripped it so tightly that his fingers threatened to shatter it. Daehwi might... Daehwi might have thought he was someone else? The implications of that thought were more terrifying than the comforts it tried to bring. 

"Daehwi, what's wrong?" 

There was deep, shuddering inhale, sounding too close to a sob for comfort. Daehwi turned around slowly, achingly slowly, almost like the action itself pained him, his entire small body shaking like a leaf. Jisung could hardly breathe right, bile clawing up his throat, that feeling of being off-balance, of something being amiss that he wasn't aware of, intensifying to a degree where its claw dug into his lungs, making every breath nigh-impossible. It was all going to be okay. Everything would be okay. It had to be. Jisung didn't know what he'd do if it wasn't, it would all definitely, definitely, surely be okay because there was no alternative, it h--

Then he met Daehwi's eyes and they were crimson.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> all i have to say for myself is um, i'm sorry


	25. XXIV

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Well, um, yeah, buckle up because this is a depressing one 😅

For the first few seconds, all he could was stare. He couldn't process it, couldn't act on it, couldn't do anything. All he was able to do was stare into the depths of those ruby red eyes, so laced with fear that it made his guilt at his inability to act grow that much stronger. But he couldn't move. He could hardly even believe it. He refused to believe it. Not Daehwi. It couldn't be Daehwi. Daehwi was underage, it would be illegal to turn Daehwi, and who would even dare to turn Daehwi, who was loveable and cute and youthful and wasn't ready for something like that yet. He didn't deserve to be turned. He couldn't be turned. It had to be some sort of sick, twisted prank, and Daehwi would pull out the contacts and everyone would laugh and it would be a dumb joke and it would all be okay.

But everything else screamed otherwise. His skin looked washed-out and perfect, like Daniel's and Jonghyun's and Minseok's. Tiny fangs were protruding from his mouth. A bite mark was visible on his forearm, much softer than Daniel's. And from the hand that was closet to him, he couldn't feel any heat radiating off him. A prank couldn't have pulled off all those little details of vampirism, the ones that were so much subtler that people often missed them, unless they were stood as close as he was. Daehwi looked far too distraught, far too close to tears for it to be a prank. Jisung's heart plummeted, and the bile began clawing up his throat again, threatening to push out of his lips as puke.

Daehwi was the one to break the weighty, uncomfortable silence, his voice coming out unnervingly calm, but thin and high-pitched. "I think that the vampire was a sasaeng." 

Jisung's mind raced, trying to think of what vampire, of any vampire, guilt flooding his insides with tar because he couldn't fucking remember. Someone had turned Daehwi, and Daehwi knew and he couldn't fucking remember. How could he not remember? How had he missed that there had been vampire? How had all of them missed the vampire? How had they missed someone stalking Daehwi with the intention of turning him? How could they have fucked up so badly? How couldn't they have seen something like that? The least they could do was make sure one of the youngest was safe and they'd even failed at that.

He heard something smash behind him. 

"Fuck. No. No, no, no," Daniel said, and suddenly he was in front him, grasping on Daehwi's shoulders, "Tell me this is joke. Please. Daehwi, no, please, fuck, no, no, this is a fucking joke right? It's a joke." 

Daehwi's strange calm broke and bloody tears streamed down his cheeks in a flood and his breathing was all wobbly and weak. But his eyes kept flicking towards Jisung, filled with hunger -- but he found himself strangely unafraid. Maybe he was just so numb, so busy trying to process what all of it meant, that his fear had been knocked out of whack. Besides, those crimson eyes had more than enough guilt and disgust to match that hunger, making Jisung's stomach twist and his heart wrench. There was no bloodthirsty predator, ready to tear someone to shreds in pursuit of a meal to be found. All he could see was a scared little boy. All the hungry crimson eyes and sharp fangs in the world couldn't change that.

"Daniel," Jonghyun said, from the doorway, his voice soft, "Get Daehwi some blood bags. I'll make sure he doesn't hurt anyone." 

"I -- I don't want to hurt anyone," Daehwi said, his voice shaking with his sobs, "I don't want to drink blood, I can't drink blood, I have a fear of blood, how am I supposed to drink blood when I can't look at it, it's so s-stupid, I'm just hungry, I don't want to drink but I'm so--" 

Daniel glanced over at Jonghyun, like a child looking over to parent when they were lost, his grip around Daehwi's shoulders loosening. His hands were shaking badly, his chest frozen. Some part of Jisung wanted to tell him to get out, that they could deal with this because he didn't want Daniel to see this, not when his own unwilling turning had been so recent, not when Daniel was dealing with enough shit as it was. He didn't need this piled on top too. 

Jonghyun was over to Daniel in a flash, moving faster than Jisung had ever seen anyone move, Daniel included. It felt strange to be confronted with it -- he knew Jonghyun was a vampire, obviously, but the idea was still such an odd one that the two concepts, vampire and Jonghyun, still didn't quite seemed to have meshed in his brain. So seeing Jonghyun move that fast felt almost like a punch to the face. He kept glancing at the doorway, expecting Jonghyun to still be there, only finding empty space where he'd once been. 

Daniel's hands were still wrapped around Daehwi's shoulders, as Daehwi's small body shook with the force of his sobs. Jonghyun kneeled down beside him, his hands gentle, placing one of them softly on Daniel's knee. Daniel's eyes darted over to him, meeting a warm smile. 

"I've got this," Jonghyun said, his voice gentle, "Go get the blood bags, Daniel. Be quick." 

Daniel's grip on Daehwi slackened and he nodded slowly. He climbed to his feet clumsily, eyes still fixed on Daehwi before he moved at that ridiculous speed towards the door. There was a moment, right before he vanished to find the blood bags, where he paused, glancing back at them, eyes watery, before he shook his head and disappeared. Jisung found himself wishing Daniel would take a long time. At least that way he wouldn't have to deal with it for too long. At least Daehwi had Jonghyun, who seemed less off-kilter than Daniel did by the whole thing. 

Then he met Samuel's eyes, locked on Jonghyun, and his heart came to a stop. 

"Jonghyun," Jisung said, his voice sounding odd to his own ears, "They know. They saw. They know." 

Jonghyun had sat himself down on the bed beside Daehwi, allowing him to cry into his chest, arms wrapped around him. "I know," came the quiet reply. 

"What if it gets out? What if the audience finds out? You said yourself they won't vote for you. What if Pledis --" 

"Jisung," Jonghyun said, his voice sharp, "I know. It's not the most important thing right now. They would've found out anyway."

Jisung doubted that they would, he'd hidden for five years after all, but he held his tongue. The focus should've been on Daehwi after all, not Jonghyun. And Jonghyun was throwing his entire career into danger just to make sure Daehwi was okay. The least he could do was try not to distract from the person who needed comfort at the moment. He could do that much, surely. Keep his mouth shut unless Daehwi needed him. So he left the conversation hanging. 

Daehwi filled the silence instead. "You're the other vampire?" he said, eyes wide, shifting his position to stare up at Jonghyun.

He nodded, an odd smile spreading across his face.

"I'm sorry f-for trying to f-find out your i-identity and not leaving you alone," Daehwi hiccupped. 

Jonghyun shook his head, the smile becoming more genuine. "Don't worry about it. That's not what's important right now, okay?" 

Daehwi nodded weakly, hiccupping again, the tears still flowing incessantly. Eventually he buried his head in Jonghyun's chest again and Jonghyun wrapped his arms around him gently, like he was made of glass.

Looking at Daehwi sobbing into Jonghyun's chest became too hard after a bit. Everytime he caught the sight of those blood tears, the crimson eyes, the tiny fangs, his heart seized. It felt so wrong, so fucked up, so deeply uncomfortable on every level that Jisung wanted to tear his heart out of his chest just to stop those ugly sensations ripping through it. Instead, he looked back at the rest of the trainees, who were wearing expressions somewhere between shock and guilt and melancholy. More had come. Seongwoo was there now, and Jihoon and Park Woojin. Jihoon's expression was as difficult to read as ever. Samuel looked like he was about to cry, the shock at Jonghyun having fallen to the wayside. Taehyun was looking away.

Daniel was back with two blood bags in no time. He tossed them to Jonghyun, who handed them to Daehwi. He tore them open like they were made of paper, sucking the two of them dry in seconds, much faster than Daniel had done, his small hands shaking as he grasped onto them.

There was a moment of quiet, like everyone was holding their breath. Jisung wished he could look away again, but his eyes were fixed on the scene, slipping between the three vampires. A shudder raced down his spine at the thought. Getting used to Daniel being a vampire was a bad enough. He didn't want to have to do the same with Daehwi. Was he going to have watch Daehwi vomit up his insides into a toilet too? Cry over the fact that people weren't talking to him anymore because he was a vampire? Forget over and over again that he was a vampire and watch him break a little every time he remembered? Jisung wasn't sure if he'd be able to do all of it a second time. The first one had been hard enough.

Daehwi's messy, heavy sobs returned to break the silence. "I-I don't want to be a vampire. I'm not even an adult yet, isn't it like illeg--" 

"I know, Daehwi," Jonghyun said, his voice soft, "And I'm so sorry, but I can't do anything about it. All we can do is help you get used to it." 

Daniel suddenly spoke up. He'd been so quiet that Jisung had forgotten he was there. He still looked off-balance, like one push might cause him to collapse into pieces, but the smile on his face, as shaky as it was, seemed defiant in comparison. He moved closer to Daehwi, sitting down on the other side, squeezing his hand. "It's hard at the start, Daehwi, but it'll get easier, I promise."

"I don't want it to get easier," Daehwi said, sobs punctuating his words, "I don't want to be a vampire at all, I never wanted to be a vampire, I just -- I just..." 

Daniel's hand moved up to his left eye quickly, looking almost like he was rubbing his eye but Jisung caught the red on his fingers. "I know," he said and his voice was wet and trembling, so far from Jonghyun's warm strength, "Believe me, I know, but we can't change that." He went quiet for a moment, his shallow breaths the only thing that filled the silence. "I'm so sorry, but you're going to have to figure out how to live with it." 

Daehwi stared down at his hands and he looked so small and so devastated that it made Jisung's heart shatter.

"Why'd it have to be me?" he mumbled, "Why did she have to go after me? Maybe if I hadn't gotten first centre, or we hadn't gone on that shopping tri--" 

"Daehwi," Daniel said firmly, "It's not your fault. You getting first centre isn't a good reason for her to stalk you and -- and turn you." 

Daehwi's lower lip trembled. "But what if I hadn't? Maybe then she wouldn't have paid attention to me and I'd still be human and --" 

"Daehwi, please," Daniel said, his voice shaking, "It's not your fault. There's no point in getting caught up in what if because you'll just drive yourself mad thinking about it." 

Daehwi nodded, but he was wringing his fingers, his chest heaving. "I don't want to spend the rest of my life like this. I don't want to live for ages. Or drink blood. Or be stuck as a teenager. Or --" 

"I know," Daniel said quietly, "I know it's going to be hard, it's going to be so fucking hard, but I promise I'll try my best to be there for as long as I can." A pained smile spread across his face. "And that's going to be a long time, so you better get used to having me around. I'll try to make it all as painless as I can. Promise." 

Daehwi nodded, but didn't look any more encouraged by it, his bottom lip still trembling, his tiny breaths shuddering.

Jonghyun was the one to break the silence this time, his voice barely above a whisper, so laced with comfort and caution it was like he'd wrapped the words in bubble wrap. "If all of this is too much, you don't have to do Never --" 

Daehwi's breathing quickened. "No, no, no, please, I can do Never, I'll be fine, please don't kick me off the team. Please, please, hyung, please." 

Jonghyun's eyes were wet but he smiled. "Okay. We're keeping you on Never."

"Promise?" Daehwi asked, his voice wobbly. 

"Promise." 

Daehwi suddenly paused and his bottom lip trembled. "Will the National Producers vote for me anymore? N-now, that I-I'm a, um, I'm -- "

Jonghyun didn't reply for a long time. "I don't know. I really don't know." 

Daniel turned away, covering his mouth with his hand, his entire body shaking, and Jisung's heart twisted. If the mere sight of Daehwi made him feel like shit, he couldn't imagine how it made Daniel feel. Even if Daniel's turning had been hard for Jisung, he wasn't the one who'd had to actually go through it, and now all those ugly memories were being shoved to surface because of some twisted stalker. It was probably like reliving the worst night of his life all over again, except this time from the outside. Jisung looked away. He wasn't sure he could look at Daniel or Daehwi any longer. His heart was aching enough as it was.

They should've noticed. Maybe if they'd been more attentive, maybe if they'd opened their fucking eyes, maybe if they hadn't dismissed everything without looking deeper, maybe if they hadn't been so sure of their own safety, maybe if any of them had suspected something, anything, Daehwi wouldn't have been turned. And Jisung wouldn't have to have to go through the worst day of his life twice, with two different people in the fucking starring role. 

A crowd had gathered outside the room at this stage. Jisung stepped out into it. He just felt numb. Like he'd taken too much. Like his heart had been pummelled one too many times and he was just tired. Just tired of feeling. Tired of existing. Tired of all of it. 

A voice spoke up from behind him. "Is he okay?"

"What do you think?" he said, and it came out crueler than he'd intended but Jisung couldn't bring himself to care. His own voice sounded like it was a million miles away, as though the words were leaving someone else's mouth. He was so exhausted.

There was moment of silence as the owner of the voice, Seongwoo, stepped up beside him. "I recognised her." 

Jisung had no idea what he was saying and he wasn't in the mood to decipher it. "What?" 

"The vampire at the blood bank. I recognised her. I brushed it off. I thought I was just mixing her up with someone else or someone." 

Jisung's brows furrowed. "When would you have seen her before?" 

There was a long pause and when Seongwoo finally spoke, his voice was almost a whisper, like he was revealing some guilty secret. "The staff member that came to Daniel's room. The one who asked where Daehwi's room was. I -- I told her where it was." He went very quiet. When he spoke again, his voice was watery. "I know it's stupid, I know it's not my fault -- but I still feel like if I didn't tell her, if I'd recognised her then..." 

Jisung didn't know how to reply to that. Maybe it was Seongwoo's fault. Maybe if he had spoken up this wouldn't have happened. Maybe if they'd realised then it was a sasaeng, Daehwi the vampire would've remained a part of their worst nightmares. Some part of him wanted to grasp onto it, to find someone to blame when the perpetrator wasn't with them, to lash out at someone with all the rage bubbling under his skin. Maybe tearing someone to shreds would be cathartic or freeing or some shit. Maybe he just needed a punching bag. But he looked over to see Seongwoo's face and he couldn't even consider it. 

He'd never seen Seongwoo so torn, so guilt-filled, so devastated. It looked alien on his face, as though he was staring at a stranger with an identical face. Seongwoo never seemed to be sad. At least not that Jisung had ever seen. If he ever did, it was for a gag or joke or something. Seongwoo was never upset. But he looked like he was about to burst in tears at any minute. 

Jisung turned away. He had no idea how to reply. He just couldn't look at how broken-up he looked. His already shattered heart couldn't take another beating. He just wanted it to be over. Or better: it to have never happened. It still felt like he was in some twisted nightmare, that at some stage he'd wake up and laugh about it with Daniel and Daehwi and it would remain solely as a fucked up figment of his imagination. And that would be all it would ever be. 

He left Seongwoo, walking over to the wall like he was in a dreamlike trance. He put his back to it and slid down it, staring out into the void in the hopes that he'd relinquish some answers about the cruel world from it. But it never replied and didn't then. 

The nervous chatter of the trainees around him sounded like birds, distant and quiet. Like a low hum. He just blocked it out. He couldn't think right. He couldn't think at all. He just wanted to sleep. He just wanted it all to be gone. All of it just vanish, and with it all of the hurt and pain and fear and guilt that kept clawing at his heart, like a hungry beast that could never be sated.

He noticed someone slide down beside him out of the corner his eye. He didn't acknowledge it. Maybe he was just too tired to do so.

"Do you think he'll be alright?" Jihoon said, his voice barely above a whisper, his eyes transfixed on what was happening inside Daehwi's room. 

Jisung didn't reply. Not for a while. Not until from the numbness and emptiness erupted an anger, a vicious cruelty, a determination to lash back at the world and everyone in it, which seemed to do nothing but disappoint him over and over and again. 

So Jisung spat venom at the person nearest to him. "Are you jealous? Do you wish it was you?" 

Jihoon turned to him, hurt in those pretty eyes, before his jaw clenched. "You know what? Yeah. Yeah, I wish it was me. Because then Daehwi wouldn't have to hurt like this. Then I could actually do something to help. I'm just fucking useless at the moment." 

Jisung wished he'd held it back. He went quiet, staring down at his hands. He forgot that wanting to be a vampire wasn't Jihoon's sole personality trait. He was meant to be the eldest, the mature one and here he was, lashing out at one of younger trainees just because he was mad over things he couldn't control. He squashed that rage down before its claws could cut too deep.

"Sorry," he murmured, "That was out of place. I'm just tired. And angry." 

Jihoon just nodded, looking away. "It's okay. I think everyone's hurting at the moment." 

"I just thought Daniel's would be the only one I'd have to ever see. I thought that was it. That it was heartbreaking but that was it. The only one. I guess I almost promised to myself to make sure it never happened again to someone I cared about." A bitter laugh escaped his lips. 

"What could you have done to stop a vampire sasaeng?" 

"Paid some closer fucking attention." 

It was Jihoon's turn to go quiet. "Hyung, we can't change the past. It's done now. What we can do is make sure the bitch that turned him rots in prison for a very long time."

Another long pause followed. Jihoon broke it. 

"I do actually wish it was me. I don't know, maybe it would've been easier if I wanted to be a vampire already. Besides, he's seventeen and I'm nineteen. I'm nearly an adult. It would've been easier. I don't know. Maybe I'm wrong." 

Jisung glanced at him, eyebrows raised. "You'd be willing to be turned by a vampire saesang?" 

Jihoon met his eyes and Jisung was surprised to see flames burning in those normally unreadable eyes. "If it meant Daehwi didn't have to go through this shit, yeah." 

Jisung looked away, his eyes falling to the floor. "Why do you even want to be a vampire so badly? Is it really just visuals? Because most idols don't mind having a ten to fifteen year career before they fade into obscurity." 

"I mean, the trauma of missing out on the final Astro line-up because of an injured knee helps." 

Jisung turned to stare at Jihoon. "What?" 

"I mean Samuel was in contention to get into Seventeen, so why's it such a surprise that I almost got into Astro?" 

Strangely, Jihoon seemed to fit right in with Astro. He could see why Fantagio would've wanted to debut him. He slipped right into the group image, being both pretty and talented. He could've easily been a member of the group. He kept forgetting that not everyone had never been considered for debut. That plenty here had been so close and just failed. They'd held it for just a moment and it had been torn from their hands. 

Jihoon continued. "It was a stupid injury. I was training and then I landed a jump wrong and then suddenly I wasn't able to walk on it."  
His fists were so tightly-clenched that the skin on his knuckles was white. "And well, then Fantagio told me they had a planned date for Astro's debut and they couldn't push it off just to debut me. They couldn't wait for just one trainee when they were basically ready to go, not when I could be easily replaced." 

He went silent once more, but continued in a low whisper, so filled with rage and desperation that it was like the plea of raging madman. "If I'd been able to heal like Daniel, I would never have been taken out of the running. I wouldn't be here. I wouldn't have to compete for my chance to debut." 

Jisung just listened in silence, his eyes fixed on Daehwi's room the entire time, the tiny figure of the newly-turned vampire sobbing into Jonghyun's chest while Daniel sat beside them, his head in his hands. It looked like a strange, tragic Renaissance painting, the harsh artificial light filtering into the room and making the angles of their faces sharp and cruel, broken and lost. The shadow seemed to threaten to swallow them, eating at the harsh light in attempt to claim them for its own. It had already eaten away enough at Daniel. Jisung couldn't let it have any more. He was probably the one, second to Daehwi, having the hardest time.

"I'm going to talk to Daniel," he said, half-turning his head towards Jihoon who just nodded, the fury twisting his features falling away to be replaced by the default empty prettiness, as though it hadn't been there in the first place. 

He stepped back into the dark silence of the room, through the whispering crowd, ignoring any of the glances sent his way. He sat down next to Daniel, who didn't even acknowledge his presence. 

They sat in silence for a while but the quiet discomfort of the room got to him faster than he expected and he tapped Daniel on the shoulder. 

A half-hearted noise came as a reply. 

"Do you mind if we talk outside?" 

Daniel didn't reply for a while and Jisung was left listening to his own breathing, the only noise in the room. It made his skin crawl. It felt too much like a grave, cold, empty, silent and stinking of death. 

Another noise, sounding a lot more like one of agreement that the previous one, was the response. Jisung climbed to his feet and stepped outside into the mass of warm, breathing bodies. They were a relief from the cold quiet of the room. He only glanced back once to see if Daniel was following him. 

He walked away from the crowd, into a corridor and waited. Daniel moved slowly to meet him, looking like a man who was walking towards his death. 

"What?" he said, his voice coming out cracked and rough. 

"I just thought that it might bring back some bad memories or something. You looked like shit. I'm checking up on you, like the extremely responsible hyung that I am." He punched Daniel lightly on the shoulder but the grin was hard to maintain. 

"Why don't you check on Daehwi, he's the one who's actually turned?" Daniel said, sounding defensive. 

"Daehwi I can check on tomorrow. He's got Jonghyun at the moment and I think he's gonna be a lot more help than I am." 

Daniel fell silent. "I'm fine," he mumbled, after what felt like much too long. 

Jisung didn't believe it for second. "Yeah, sure, you look great, you look like you're dealing with this brilliantly. Not at all like --" 

"Okay, okay, I got it, fuck off." 

Another silence followed, heavier than the first. Daniel was staring at the floor and Jisung couldn't make out what he was thinking. 

"I'm just glad his turning looked like it was a lot less violent than mine." 

He stopped and Jisung stared at him intently. "Daniel, you know I'm not gonna stop bothering you until you tell me shit." 

Daniel chewed on his lip. "Yeah. Yeah. It hurt. To see. I mean, it's Daehwi. It didn't really remind me of mine. Not much. Maybe the aftermath. I don't know, I only saw my turning from the inside. It's weird to look at it from the outside." He looked up to meet his eyes. "Why? Did it remind of mine?" 

Jisung hesitated. "A little. Not much. Yours was so awful I never wanna see anything like it again. Daehwi's clearly wasn't that bad. His bite looks a lot softer too. Yours looked like someone tried to take a chunk out of you. I mean. Doesn't make it any less upsetting to watch."

Daniel's hand crept towards the location of his bite mark, hidden under his jumper. 

Jisung continued. "Yeah, I don't know. You cried a lot less, I guess. And you looked a lot scarier before you snapped back to yourself. Probably because his fangs are adorable and yours aren't." 

Daniel rolled his eyes, but it seemed like a half-hearted action. His eyes looked red-rimmed all of a sudden. "I mean, I'm glad it's nothing like mine. I -- I just didn't think I'd ever have to see an turning like mine. Only have to experience one. I didn't think they'd be that shitty. Or hard to watch. I mean, I thought, revenge turnings were on the downturn but clearly they've just been replaced." 

He paused before continuing, his voice beginning to waver. "I just hope his mom's a lot better than my parents. I really don't want him to have to go through what I did." 

Another pause. A sob suddenly burst from his lips, sounding almost like a gunshot in the quiet. "I -- I just didn't think anyone would turn Daehwi. I didn't think there was anyone that fucked up out there. Like he's a fucking kid, and yeah, he's a bit annoying and too snarky for his own good, but goddammit, he's probably one of the youngest here and he's pretty cute and sweet when he isn't being a dumbass and --" 

Daniel put his hand over his mouth and looked away, his eyes watering. His breathing came out in hitches and cracks, but he took a long, shuddering breath and continued on. 

"I just feel like it's my fault somehow. That I should've noticed something, that I should've kept an eye out, that I should've been more observant and less laid-back. I don't know. Maybe it's all our faults. Maybe it's none of faults. It feels like somehow I'm partly responsible though. Maybe I distracted everyone from the sasaeng b-because of dad and making a huge fuss and that's why we all missed it --" 

"Daniel. That's the dumbest shit I've ever heard." 

Jisung hesitated, struggling to push the next set of words from his mouth, seeing as saying them would mean he'd have to believe them in some way. And to some degree, he didn't. He thought it was his fault too. He thought that they were somehow responsible, in some fucked up way that made sense in his brain. But he said it anyway because maybe saying them would make them concrete, make them true, make him believe them in some way or other and he really needed to believe them. 

"I-it's none of our faults. We didn't turn Daehwi. We didn't feed him our blood and then bite him. We didn't stalk him. Yeah, I guess you could make an argument that our not looking harder helped it but it didn't cause it. It's not our fault. It's not my fault. It's not yours. It's not Seongwoo's or Jihoon's or Jonghyun's or Woojin's or anyone here's fault. The only person who is to blame is the vampire who turned him. She's still out there. She's the one who committed such a messed up crime. It's her fault. She's the one who did this. So we're gonna make sure we do whatever we can to make sure she gets thrown in prison for this. And we're not gonna blame ourselves. Because we didn't do anything wrong. Do you blame a kidnapping victim's family for the kidnapping? No. Same thing here." 

Daniel just nodded, barely looking any better. There was a long pause before he spoke again. "I think I'm gonna go back to check on Daehwi." 

Jisung let him go. And as he watched his retreating back, he hoped that maybe something good would come out of a situation as fucked up as this. God knew they all needed it.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> um yeah i'm sorry part 2 
> 
> just look at the angst with a happy ending tag and take comfort in it :3


	26. XXV

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This is a really long chapter but at this stage all my chapters are xD um anyway it's not as angsty as the last one? But still pretty angsty. Everything is angsty :3  
> I hope you enjoy it!

The next few days were tense. And strange.

It was like two blows had been dealt at once: Daehwi being turned and everyone finding out that Jonghyun was the second vampire. It made everything odd, a strange tension lingering in the air that Jisung couldn't quite pinpoint or figure out how to get rid of.

Brand New Music and Mnet had reported it for a police investigation but the vampire sector of the police station was apparently dealing with another few big investigations at the same time, and Daehwi's would have to be put to sideline until one was completed. Sasaeng turnings were difficult to investigate anyway, so they probably wouldn't hurry the current ones along. So they were left waiting. 

Everyone kept forgetting that Daehwi wasn't human anymore and some of them did some really dumb shit. Samuel offered Daehwi a chocolate chip cookie and he almost took it, until he met Daniel's eyes and pulled his hand away, looking like he was on the verge of tears.

He kept forgetting. He'd reach out to hug Daehwi, expecting the human warmth he was so accustomed to and instead only finding cold. Or sometimes he'd do a double-take when looking at him, sure he was seeing the marble, sickly skin wrong only to remember that no, that was Daehwi now. 

It hurt to see him so upset the whole time. Daehwi barely talked to any of them whenever they had a chance to interact and spent most of the day with his head bowed and shoulders slumped. 

But what was anyone supposed to say? Daehwi had every right to be distraught. Maybe he hadn't been in the same position of Daniel, having to change from hunter to hunted overnight, but he'd still had to become what he'd never wanted to be. 

Even BoA looked upset over it, and took him aside once to talk about it. Daehwi came back looking only a little happier. 

Jonghyun kept coming over to check on Daehwi, over and over, and every time he seemed to leave looking every so slightly more deflated. Daehwi didn't seem any happier for it either. He doubted even Jonghyun had any idea what to say in this kind of situation. There wasn't much one could say to comfort someone who'd just been turned into a vampire by a stalker. He kept catching Jonghyun's gaze, every time he glanced over at NU'EST's table, and he'd never seen him look so guilt-filled and helpless before. Even when every seemed to be collapsing around him, Jonghyun had this strange ability to make it seem like everything would be alright. That ability seemed to have vanished with Daehwi. 

That odd atmosphere even leaked into their training sessions. It seemed like all anyone could think of was Daehwi's turning. The staff all suddenly seemed like strangers, like possible saesangs, watching them with eager eyes. Jisung's stomach lurched anytime he caught any of them staring for too long, creeping, uncomfortable thoughts slithering into his mind. 

Jonghyun's revelation lagged only a few steps behind. It was impossible to miss the stares, the side-eyes and curious glances thrown his direction. Or the whispers surrounding him. Or the way people suddenly acted all odd around him, like they expected him to spin around and suck them dry. The reverence that once surrounded him had died. In its place, arose an ugly fascination, with suspicion and judgement for claws. If Jonghyun noticed it, and Jisung doubted he could've missed it, he never acknowledged it. 

They were going to bring it up during a Show Time rehearsal at some stage. Jisung had expected as much. It was too oppressive a force to ignore. And sure enough, a day or two before the producers arrived, Sanggyun finally broached the topic everyone was anticipating.

"Is he doing okay?" he asked, his voice barely above a whisper, eyes fixed on Taehyun and Sungwoon, "Daehwi, I mean." 

Taehyun glanced at Sungwoon, then swallowed loudly. "I don't really know. He doesn't talk much about it. And I don't really want to bring it up." There was a long pause. "He doesn't really sleep much at night though. And sometimes I hear him crying over it. He tries to be quiet but... I still hear it." 

There was another long silence. Jisung broke that one, even as words suddenly became almost impossible to push from his mouth. "Vampires are nocturnal." 

The others stared at him, blank expressions on their faces. 

He swallowed. "It's not that he's not sleeping because of that. It's his body clock has changed. Vampires are nocturnal. Daniel, um, it was the same for Daniel for the first few days. He kept falling asleep in the morning because he couldn't get to sleep at night." 

"Oh," Taehyun said quietly. 

That ugly, oppressive silence returned. 

"I thought it was illegal to turn minors," Woojin said after a while, "Daehwi's seventeen, right?" 

"I don't really the saesang was thinking about that when she turned him," Samuel mumbled, "She was already stalking him and turning him against his will." 

"Oh yeah," Woojin said, guilt flashing across his face. 

"Was... was Daniel's turning different?" Sungwoon said all of a sudden, fixing his gaze on him. 

Jisung shrugged. "Yeah. Daniel looked like he was about to die. We had to call a doctor. He had like full on seizures and was vomiting and everything. His bite looked like someone had tried to rip his shoulder off." 

"That... that sounds hard to watch." 

"Harder to experience probably," Jisung said quietly. 

Sungwoon fell quiet for a moment. "I didn't know vampire turnings could be so different. We didn't even notice Daehwi's and you make it sound like Daniel's was impossible to miss." 

"The other -- Jonghyun said something about the sire affecting the turning," Jisung mumbled, picking absentmindedly at his shirt. 

Woojin's eyes went huge. "Wait, so someone intentionally made Daniel's turning really painful?" 

"It was revenge turning," Jisung said, raising his eyebrows at Woojin, "The plan was obviously use Daniel as an example to other hunters and warn his parents. They were going to make his as fucked up as possible." 

"Still," Woojin said, the corners of his mouth tilting downwards, "It's messed up. He was already going to be upset at being a vampire. Why'd they have to make so painful too?" 

"Woojin," Jisung said, fixing his gaze on him, "Daniel's family have murdered more vampires than any other hunter family in Korea. They weren't going to let the only child off with a slap on the wrist." He swallowed. "It's really fucked up and Daniel shouldn't have been the one punished because of how messed up his parents were, but it kind of makes sense, in some fucked up way." 

"Yeah," Samuel said quietly, "Imagine there's this family going round murdering tons of people and they keep saying its because those people don't deserve to live, and you have a chance to mess up their kid? You're not going to go and give that kid one kick and walk off. You're going to make sure he so messed up by the end of it that the family stops."

"It didn't really work, did it?" Woojin said bitterly, "His dad is still all kinds of messed up." 

Jisung winced at the memory. "They didn't account for Daniel's dad being as messed up as he is." 

"What's this about Daniel's dad?" Sanggyun asked, staring at them. 

Woojin, Jisung and Samuel exchanged glances. 

"Nothing," Samuel said, shrugging, "Daniel's dad showed up in town when we were out and he basically acted like a dick." 

"Was that why he was so upset at the eliminations?" Taehyun asked, realisation dawning on his face.

Jisung nodded silently.

"I didn't know that," Sungwoon said suddenly, "About the sires affecting the turning. They didn't teach us that in school." 

"What they teach is school is all useless," Taehyun said, lying back to stare up at the ceiling, "It's literally just like basic vampire biology, how to recognise if you're turning and like how to defend yourself from a vampire attack. Which is fucking pointless because I don't think most vampires are going to bother eating someone when there's literally blood banks like every hundred metres in places like Daegu. And there's tons here in Seoul." 

Woodam spoke up for the first time. "Maybe if vampires actually told us anything, we wouldn't have to teach the pointless shit."

Jisung's jaw clenched and he had to dig his nails into his palms to keep himself from doing anything stupid. "Have you ever considered there might be a reason they don't want to tell us shit?" 

"Yeah," Woodam said, narrowing his eyes, "Because they'll have to reveal how fucking unfair it is they get to compete alongside humans in anything." 

"Maybe," Jisung said loudly, "It's because they don't want to hand over information that might get them to killed to hunters." 

Woodam rolled his eyes. "Hunters are useless, they don't even kill that many vampires." 

"They do," Samuel said, his voice sounding odd, "For every rogue vampire that kills someone, two more vampires are killed by hunters. They've died down now but my mom says that back in the late 80s, they were finding dead vampires every other day. They kill a lot of vampires. Bullets have made the game too easy. No vampire is faster than a bullet. One shot to the vital organ with a silver bullet and bam, they can't heal and they die from blood loss. Vampires can't make their own blood, remember? It takes a lot less blood loss for a vampire to die in comparison to a human." 

"I know," Woodam snapped, "I remember that much from school, you don't have to tell me." 

"For something that's meant to be immortal, they sure are easy to kill," Sanggyun said quietly, "You'd think, since they're like meant to eat humans, they'd be better at like actually killing us." 

"Maybe that's why they decided to reveal themselves," Sungwoon said, pursing his lips, "Because they realised they couldn't eat us as easily?" 

"I'm fairly certain the history books credit it to the invention of blood transfusions but sure," Jisung said, raising his eyebrows. 

Sungwoon rolled his eyes. "I know. I'm just speculating." He paused. "Do you ever wonder what it'd be like they never revealed themselves?" 

"Not really," Taehyun said, raising his eyebrows, "We'd probably just have a lot more missing persons cases on our hands with weird animal bites." 

Sungwoon elbowed him. "Be fucking creative, god." 

"We can't really tell, can we?" Sanggyun said, shrugging, "Like they've kind of become so ingrained in everything that it's like rewriting all of history to leave them out. And that'd like change so much. Imagine the Vietnam War without vampires? Like what would the Vietnamese have done to beat the US then? Or like that whole Russian Olympic scandal with them sending in vampires instead of humans when everyone knows vampires are banned from competing." 

"Yeah," Sungwoon said, staring off into space, "I guess so." 

There was another long pause before Taehyun broke it. "I didn't expect the other vampire to be Jonghyun." 

"Same," Samuel said, blinking rapidly, "Like he was the last person I was thinking of. Like Pledis let a vampire debut as the leader of their idol group in 2012? All the way back then?"

"Who did you think it was?" Jisung said, staring at them, curiosity pushing up to the surface. 

Samuel shrugged. "I dunno. Someone who'd gotten eliminated earlier on." 

"This sounds so dumb," Taehyun said, cheeks flushing red, "But I thought it was you." 

Jisung blinked. "Me?" 

Taehyun shrugged. "I dunno, I thought you were like Daniel's sire or some shit, with the way you're like constantly looking out for him." 

"I eat way too much for that," Jisung said, a grin creeping across his face. 

Taehyun cheeks burned brighter. "I thought you were just dedicated?" 

"But Daniel was a revenge turning?" Woojin said, brows furrowing. 

"Yeah, I know that now," Taehyun said, rolling his eyes, "But I don't think anyone put two and two together until Daniel's speech at the first elimination." 

"Oh yeah," Woojin mumbled, tugging at his shirt, "I didn't realise until that either." 

"Daehwi was convinced the other vampire was Minhyun," Samuel said, a soft but shaky smile on his face, "Right group, wrong person." 

"I thought it was Jihoon until I saw him staring at Daniel when he broke his leg," Sungwoon said, a strange expression on his face. 

Sanggyun's brows pulled together. "What does that mean?" 

Sungwoon opened his mouth and then closed it again, shaking his head. "Nothing." 

Sanggyun and Taehyun eyed him but no one pushed him further. 

"It kind of makes sense though," Taehyun said after a beat, "I mean, Minhyun looks more like a stereotypical vampire, y'know, tall and pale and pretty and all that but Jonghyun just gives me kind of old vibes." 

"I mean, he is well over a hundred, so he should," Jisung said, a grin twitching on his lips. 

Taehyun shook his head. "That's so fucking weird to think of. He's lived my life like more than four times over. What the fuck. He makes my grandma seem young." 

"Are we all like babies to him then?" Woojin said, resting his head on his hand, brows furrowed. 

"I hate to break it to you," Jisung said, with faux sobriety, "But Woojin, you're already a baby to everyone." 

Woojin stuck out his tongue. "I know that but like, he must see all of us as kids." 

Jisung shrugged. "I don't think so. I mean, he talked to me like I was an adult." 

"Maybe because you're almost the same age," Sungwoon said, grinning wickedly. 

Jisung gave him the middle finger. 

"Imagine being like over a hundred," Taehyun said, awe lacing his voice, "He probably saw the Korean War and all. Like that's fucking crazy." He sat up, eyes wide. "Do you think he lived through the Joseon era?"

"Ask him," Samuel said bluntly, flicking a strand of hair at him, "I'm sure he'd be okay with it." 

"It's kind of weird though," Sungwoon said all of a sudden, "I mean, I'm meant to be a year older than him right? So like, biology wise, my body's a year older than his, but he's actually way older than I am so... does he address me as hyung or do I address him as hyung?" 

"Not to mention it's kind of unfair," Woodam said and that fury flared up in Jisung's chest again. He shoved it down. 

Woodam continued. "Like, he's already gotten the whole dancing advantage thing, and then he's also that much older than us? He can afford to spend so much longer perfecting being an idol in comparison to us, like imagine how many he's been dancing? Or rapping? He could spend twenty years getting better at it and he'd still be the same age as when he started. So no problems with getting into a company or a group because he's too old." Jisung didn't miss how Woodam's eyes lingered on him after he said that. "It was already unfair with Daniel competing, now we have to deal with a much older vampire too? How the fuck is that fair?" 

"And he's probably already done military service too," Sanggyun said quietly.

There was a long silence before anyone added anything else.

"It is kind of unfair," Sungwoon mumbled. 

Jisung clenched his jaw, anger burning away at his insides, setting his stomach ablaze. They were actually fucking agreeing with Woodam. They didn't think he was being a dick for suggesting that vampires be left out of a fucking popularity contest. Produce wasn't a fucking test of singing or rapping or dance abilities, it was a fucking popularity contest. Hyunbin had beaten out much more talented trainees to get to the Concept Evaluation, so clearly talent wasn't the only thing the audience or Mnet cared about. Jisung would've been first to admit he'd done the same. Hoolim and Hyeonwoo had been much stronger trainees than he was and he'd gotten through while they'd been eliminated. It didn't fucking matter if Daniel could dance better than everyone else because he was a vampire, he'd still ended up in 60th. And he'd only scraped through the second elimination. If anything, being a vampire was a fucking disadvantage. 

He tried to squash it down again, to keep it from consuming him, but there was do much raw anger that it burned his hands and slipped through his fingers, flooding upwards anyway. It had been chained up for so long, pushed down over and over, and it had only grown since then, so much so that Jisung couldn't control it anymore. It burned so hot it blinded him, making it hard to breathe. Woodam was talking but the words turned into static blaring in his ears. He acted before he even thought it through because he couldn't think, his mind so tightly gripped by that fury that it crushed any thoughts. 

He punched Woodam square in the face.

Jisung didn't think he'd ever punched someone in his life. But in that moment he could see the appeal. The sound of bone crashing against bone, skin slamming into skin, was like music to his ears and not even the pain that burst through his knuckles could detract from the euphoria that exploded in his chest, the adrenalin that flooded through him, the blood rushing to his ears. He half-expected -- half-hoped -- to feel bone splintering under his fist with the force of the blow he'd thrown, but the lack of it didn't make it any less satisfying. It felt like a release, all those ugly, starving emotions finally allowed to feast. He held all of it back for so fucking long, everything, all the pain and fear and anger, strangling it with his bare hands, but they refused to die, and now he'd finally released the beasts from their chains and it felt like he'd been allowed to breathe for the first time in an eternity. 

The first thing that hit him after he pulled his fist back, pain pulsing through it, was the silence. A pin dropping would've sounded like an explosion in the quiet. 

All of them were staring at him. Woodam's eyes had gone huge, the skin around his nose flushed pink. 

Then it set in. He'd just punched his teammate. In the face. In full view of the cameras. 

"What the fuck?" Woodam said slowly, blinking rapidly, like he couldn't quite believe what had just happened. 

"Did... did you... just punch him?" Taehyun said slowly. 

Woojin's jaw was hanging open. Samuel's eyes were bulging out of his head. Sungwoon kept looking between him and Woodam, like he expected something to change. Sanggyun looked like he'd been the one hit in the face. 

"Are you -- how -- what?!" Samuel said, half his words spluttered. 

"Why the fuck did you punch me?" Woodam said, clasping his nose as though he was looking for proof of what had just happened. 

It all exploded out of him, like some sort of uncontrollable hurricane forcing its way out of him. It had all built up, so much fury that it threatened to eat him alive, leaving only that rage in place of where Jisung had once been. He'd pushed it down, over and over and over, and that short argument with Woodam had only left him craving more. 

"I'm so fucking sick of it," he snarled, but his voice came out oddly wet, even to his own ears and he fucking hated it, "I'm so fucking sick of you going on and on and on about how it's so fucking unfair that vampires get to compete. I get it! I fucking get it! I get that you're annoyed that Daniel is that fucking good and I'm going to be fucking honest, yeah, being a vampire made him better! He's really, really fucking talented!" 

Woodam opened his mouth, but Jisung didn't give him a chance to speak. 

"And yeah, it's fucking superhumanly talented! None of us here are ever going to be as good as him! But do you know how badly he wanted this?! The second fucking thing he said after he turned was that he thought the company would kick him out and he wouldn't be able to compete! It was right before he asked to fucking kill him because he couldn't live as a vampire!" 

Woodam flinched. Jisung didn't pay attention. He'd gotten started and he needed to let all of it, the good, the bad and the ugly out. 

"Do you have any fucking idea how hard this has been for him? His parents are fucking hunters. He's the first revenge turning in fucking years. And he has to deal with most of this on fucking television, in front of the whole of fucking Korea. He's been a vampire for three fucking months. He didn't have a fucking sire for most of it. Produce 101 is his last fucking chance because who the fuck is going to want to take on a fucking vampire, especially one that publicly known after this? You think it's hard to get into a company? It's so much fucking harder for a vampire. Yeah, vampires seem like they're the perfect idols, but companies don't think that fucking way. They think of what sells well, and guess what, vampires are more known for ripping people's throats out than they are for being idols, so I don't think many people are excited to go to fanmeeting with idols that might eat them. The fact Daniel got this far at all is a fucking miracle.

"And do you think either Jonghyun or Daniel are here because they want to be? No one wants to be on fucking Produce 101. It's a place for small companies and fucking failures. We're all here because our companies think we don't stand a chance. MMO hasn't debuted a group in fucking years. NU'EST fucking flunked. One big debut album and now they can't even scrape enough sales to earn another fucking mini-album. So why the fuck shouldn't they be allowed to compete? They're just as fucking desperate as we are. I get that you're annoyed about them being here because they've apparently got such a huge fucking advantage, but just fucking admit that you're scared and hate the fucking system and fuck off. This has nothing to do with them. Stop trying to use them as scapegoats for your frustration."

His chest was heaving, his insides alight, his blood boiling. The silence was deafening. The stares seemed to have grown more intense somehow. 

He climbed to his feet clumsily. He couldn't look at them, look at Woodam, not when he was this fucking angry. They still said nothing, staring at him with gaping mouths and bulging eyes. 

He slammed open the door, the noise explosive, and stormed out, each inhale feeling like it was filled with knives. His feet moved without his mind guiding them. The destination didn't fucking matter to him. He just needed to get away. From all of it. Before it broke him further. He was already in thousands of tiny little pieces, holding himself together with sheer force of will. Another crack could destroy him entirely. 

He opened a door, any door, he wasn't sure which one, and found himself slipping into the bathroom, his breaths still too fast and too jittery, feeling like he was about explode at any moment. His fingers wrapped around one of the sinks, staring into the white of the sink but even it seemed tainted red, his anger still chewing away at him. 

What the fuck had he just done? He was meant to be the eldest. The mature one. The one who had everything under control. And he'd punched a trainee two years younger than him in the face, ranted about how hard Daniel's life was and then stormed out. The first evaluation had fallen apart because of a fight and here he was, after collapsing into another. Fuck. Fuck. He was the eldest. He wasn't meant to burden the others with his problems. He wasn't meant to give out. He was meant to roll with it. To be the mentor figure. To be the person looked up to. He couldn't even do that.

He barely even noticed the door opening. Or the person stepping inside. His own failures had risen up to swallow him whole. 

"Are you okay?" Daniel asked, his voice quiet. 

Jisung gnashed his teeth together. He didn't want to see Daniel, not when he was this fucking mad. He didn't want to see anyone. 

"I'm fine," he gritted out. 

He expected Daniel to give some sort of witty comeback or snarky remark or make a dumb joke and smile his massive sunlit smile. Instead silence greeted him. Daniel's expression was oddly sombre. He walked over with slow, careful steps, leaning down against on the sink next to Jisung. 

"I heard it," Daniel said quietly, his eyes fixed on his reflection, "The argument. You were pretty loud. I don't think I've ever heard you so angry before." 

Jisung didn't reply. He didn't want anything ugly to slip out. 

Daniel's eyes drifted over to him. "I don't mean to sound ungrateful, because I'm not, but you don't have to fight my battles for me. And you don't have to fight every battle, hyung. Some of them just aren't worth it. A lot of people hate me because of what I am." There was a pause as Daniel fiddled with a piece of hair between his fingers. "I mean, I do too, sometimes." 

Jisung's eyes darted to him, words of indignance bubbling in his chest but Daniel got there first. "I know, I know, I'm still the same Daniel, I get it. But it's really hard sometimes. I'm better than I was at the start, way better, but sometimes I slip up and I look in the mirror and I see a vampire staring back and it makes me really fucking hate myself." 

There was another long pause. "But that doesn't mean I listen to every angry comment about how I'm, well, y'know, a leech and how I'm wrecking the competition." A grin twitched across his lips. "I kinda wish they'd be more original. It's the same thing over and over. But I can deal with it, hyung. I know, I know, you just want to make sure no one's a dick around me and all that but it doesn't really bother me that much anymore. My battle is figuring out how to not hate myself because of what I am. I don't really give a shit about what Woodam or Jaehwan or Minho think. It gets exhausting after all, carrying around all that resentment." His eyes darted up to meet Jisung's, a soft smile on his lips. "Sometimes you just have to let them go. Not every battle is worth it." 

Jisung didn't know what to say, so he said nothing at all. 

There was a long silence before Daniel continued. "You need to stop bottling all of it up. I don't think all of us need you to not cry and not tell us anything. You're like impossible to predict because you don't let anyone see underneath. It's like you've built this giant-ass wall and you won't let any of us in. And then you pretend as though it's not there the entire time. Like you really are all smiles and joy all the time." There was another long pause. "You don't have to break yourself to make sure everyone else is alright." 

"I'm not--," Jisung started, finally prying his lips apart. 

Daniel didn't let him finish, fixing him with a firm gaze. "Don't lie to me, hyung. Before Produce, yeah, you seemed hopeless, but you didn't seem like the mess you are now. Like you're falling apart at the seams and you're trying to convince us nothing is wrong. You won't tell anyone anything. Did you think that it might hurt us to see you this way? And don't take that as your cue to close up on me." A beat. "I'm scared for you, hyung. I don't want you falling apart before we debut. We promised we'd debut together, right? I can't do that with you when you're all broken."

"I'm not..." Jisung said, but his voice was weak, "I'm fine." 

Daniel smiled, but it looked so achingly sad. "Yeah. Okay. But... just think about what I said, okay?"

Jisung opened his mouth but no words formed in his mind. He nodded instead. He wasn't quite sure if he was ready to burden anyone with all the shit swirling around in his head, especially when everyone else was dealing with their own issues, especially with what had happened to Daehwi, but he didn't dare tell Daniel that. The least he could do was try. 

But then, even with the internal promise, he hardly tried over the next few days. He just kept shoving it down, trying to focus on the team and the performance, and most of all, Daehwi, because they felt like they mattered so much more. 

Especially Daehwi. The sadness of the first days gave way to an unsettling quiet, still laced with that deep-seated despondency. His few words at lunch had shifted into complete silence, spending forever picking at the occasional cups of blood that Daniel gave him, almost like he didn't want to drink it. Jisung could hardly look at him sometimes. It just made him feel like complete and utter shit. But it never seemed like Daehwi was happy nowadays. 

Not even the producers coming -- which meant _the_ Hyuna -- could cheer him up. If anything it seemed to make it worse. As the days drew closer and practicing heated up, the few times he saw Daehwi seemed to consist of him looking more and more down. 

By the time the day itself came and they were standing outside, waiting to step into the room itself to meet the producers, Daehwi looked like he was about to vomit. Or cry. Or both. Jonghyun kept whispering words of comfort to him and Daniel was rubbing his back soothingly, a soft smile on his face. 

They were given their cue. Daniel stepped back into his group and they walked in, Jonghyun squeezing Daehwi's hand before they did so. 

Stepping into a room with some of the biggest names in producing was, to put it lightly, terrifying. It was while bowing and greeting them that it hit him. These were the people who'd put the biggest idols on the map. They were the ones behind some of the biggest hits on the planet. They were the minds who'd launched idols' careers. 

And now they were making music for them. A bunch of trainees who were just hoping for debut. Most of whom wouldn't even make it. It felt like they'd been given too much, like they were getting more than they deserved or were entitled t-- No. Mnet had set this up for them. They wouldn't have come if they hadn't wanted to. He should be grateful, not self-deprecating.

Then there was the whole Hyuna thing. He knew that BoA was also a idol and Minseok and Jonghyun but they were different. They felt less like idols and more like mentor figures and guardians. They were too close now, too familiar for him to be starstruck by them. They'd become comfortable. BoA was just everyone's mom now, not an actual debuted idol. He forgot she was one on the regular. 

But Hyuna... Hyuna was different. He stepped into the room and his eyes were immediately drawn to her. She radiated confidence. She so clearly possessed that special spark everyone talked about in relation to idols, that star power, that ability to stand out from a crowd without even trying. And she was so much prettier in real life, so breathtaking that it felt like he was looking at drawing out of manhwa rather than a real person. Someone that beautiful couldn't be real. And yet there she was, sitting right in front of him. Just looking at her revealed what a real celebrity was. What an real idol looked like. 

Even while they got into lines and bowed and the producers began introducing themselves, he couldn't take his eyes off her. Not even for a second. 

When she actually spoke, he was taken off guard. She was cute and a little nervous and glanced at Hui and E'Dawn next to her regularly and nothing like her sensual, bold stage persona. 

"Hello, I'm Hyuna. Nice to meet you." 

She clapped softly and a chorus of cheers and claps from the trainees replied. Her cheeks coloured slightly and she continued. 

"I came today to support the kids who are doing their best. Please watch over us." 

Her eyes darted over to E'Dawn and he smiled brightly, almost lovingly at her before turning his gaze back to the trainees. But Jisung's eyes only lingered on him for a second before turning back to Hyuna, like she was some sort of magnet. 

Jisung wasn't sure how he was supposed to ever reach that level of effortless charisma. She wasn't even trying and she was still magnetic. That was what a real idol was meant to be like. Like a burning star in the middle of a room, something special, something hypnotic, something unmissable. It meant something more than just being a good singer or dancer or a good variety show star, and Jisung felt so achingly far from it that it threatened to crush him. He was trailing the others in terms of dancing and singing, how was he meant to figure out how to get that easy charm too? 

Maybe he just wasn't cut out for this. Maybe this whole idol thing had been a mistake. That magnetism she held seemed so natural that surely she'd just been born with it. He'd never been particularly hypnotic. In his life. So how was he supposed to become magically hypnotic now that he was an idol? Maybe idols were born, and all that training was only honing their natural abilities, instead of trying to carve jewels out of coal. Maybe it was what Jisung had been missing all along. The reason he made for such a poor idol was that he'd never been born to be one. Maybe it was all a hopeless -- 

Show Time were called up before Jisung could go any further down that rabbit hole. The producers themselves were here. They couldn't let them down. They had to show they were worthy of such a song, that it hadn't just been handed to them undeserved on a silver platter. They couldn't disappoint the very people who created idol careers. 

The practice went about as well as they could've hoped for. Samuel managed to hit the high notes, Woodam sang as hypnotisingly as ever, and they even managed to get the dance break down, better than any of their other rehearsals. 

The producers were smiling broadly by the time they finished, a round of applause rewarding them when they finished. A smile snuck its way across Jisung's face as the praise washed over him, slapping Samuel proudly on the back when the flood of compliments came for him. Samuel looked like he'd finally had a chance to breathe, beaming widely the entire time and bowing repeatedly in thanks.

They sat back down and the next set of trainees, the I Know You Know team stood up. He went to sit beside Daniel, but he was in the middle of some deep conversation with Seongwoo, looking like they were discussing something that probably wasn't that serious that was really serious to them. Like their conversation on which went first, the milk or the cereal, from two days ago. It had been an interesting conversation to witness. 

He sat next to Jonghyun instead, who was sat alone for once, with none of the usual NU'EST members nearby. 

Jonghyun looked up as he sat down, brows furrowing. "Jisung?"

"Surprise," he said, trying to smile and not quite sure if he succeeded, "It's me from the checking-to-see-if-you're-okay train."

A grin twitched across Jonghyun's lips. "Haven't seen this train before." 

"We're seasonal," Jisung said, winking, "And we only deal with special customers." 

"I'm flattered." 

"You should be. I'm the best employee here too." Jisung paused, looking up at him. "But seriously, you've seemed, um, pretty down in the dumps since the whole Daehwi thing." 

Jonghyun's grin faltered. His eyes darted over to Daehwi, who was sat up against the wall, staring blankly ahead of him. 

"I'm fine," he said quietly, and they both knew it was a lie. 

"Just because you're a hundred year old vampire, doesn't mean you're immune to emotions," Jisung said, raising his eyebrows. 

A grin tugged on his lips, but it lacked any warmth. "A hundred and forty-eight." 

"Excuse me for forgetting the other fifty years," Jisung said, deadpan, "My point still stands." 

Jonghyun seemed determined to avoid the question. "It's not even that old for a vampire. There's vampires ten times my age. I've meant plenty of vampires who don't think of me as particularly old. I mean, it is, what like sixty years more than the average person in South Korea lives?" 

Some part of Jisung wanted to push him, to pull him back to the question but he just let him talk. If he really began trying to avoid saying anything, Jisung would say something, but not yet. Sometimes it was just better to let someone talk. 

"So, it's kind of weird when everyone is suddenly acting like I'm ancient. Like people keep bringing up events that happened way before my time, as though I'll know something about them. Or events I don't really remember because it was so long ago. Or things I missed entirely. And everyone's calling me hyung now, even people who I was calling hyung and it just... I don't know. I don't know if I like it. I don't really want to be viewed as that old. I preferred it when everyone thought I was twenty-three. It's made everything really awkward and uncomfortable." 

"Fine," Jisung said, sighing deeply, as dramatically as possible and shaking his head, "I know what this is about. You can call me hyung if you want. Everyone's already doing it so, feel free to torment me about my old age."

Jonghyun rolled his eyes, grinning. "You're so kind, hyung."

"I know," Jisung said, nodding, "Too kind sometimes. Never say I didn't do anything for you." 

Jonghyun just shook his head in awe, but didn't say anything else. 

It felt uncomfortably easy to let Jonghyun call him hyung. He knew, everyone knew that Jonghyun was the eldest here by at least a hundred and twenty years, but when he looked into his face, he looked so awfully young. He wasn't Baby Woojin by any stretch of the imagination, but he looked about Daniel's age. At least a good few years younger than Jisung. Even if Jonghyun's eyes looked older, even if he acted older, he still looked so much younger. So the mere idea of calling someone who looked that much younger hyung felt unnatural. The thought that Jonghyun had lived his life at least five times over still seemed like a paradox, some sort of impossible concept that defied understanding. 

Jonghyun was the one to break the silence he brought on. "The weird age thing is probably the least uncomfortable part of it. Of everyone realising. People keep looking at me like I killed their favourite pet, or I'm about to eat them. I didn't really think people realising would change this much. I thought people would move on faster. But it seems like people look at me now and all they see is vampire where they once saw Jonghyun. Plus I don't get any sympathy, like Daniel did. Because I chose it. 

"I just wish I could tell them that nothing's changed and if they looked at it, they'd see that nothing has changed. They just know I'm a vampire. And that's it. But it's like they think everything's changed. And it so fu-- frustrating. I'm just mostly glad I have NU'EST, because everyone else seems to have bailed on me. They don't listen to me as much in Never. And I heard some of them saying that I shouldn't be leader. And it's so infuriating, because nothing has f-- changed. Literally nothing. And suddenly I'm unfit to be leader. Because they think I might get peckish or something. Nevermind the fact there's a blood banks like five minutes away. It's just so infuriating because they should know, they know I wouldn't do anything, because I haven't done anything up till now. And I won't do anything in future. But now that they know I'm a vampire, suddenly I'm dangerous and untrustworthy and a murderer-to-be." 

"Do you regret helping him?" Jisung asked quietly. 

Jonghyun's eyes flitted over to Daehwi again and he shook his head. "No. I would've done the same thing again in a heartbeat. I just wish it hadn't changed everything. I mean, the audience won't know because Pledis threatened to sue if they released the footage. They probably want to make sure they keep their reputation intact."

Jisung nodded, his gaze lingering on Daehwi for far too long before he turned back to look at Jonghyun. He hesitated before asking. "Do you mind me asking why?" 

"Why I turned?" Jonghyun asked, raising his eyebrows. 

Jisung nodded. "You don't have to tell me if you don't want to." 

Jonghyun bit his lip. Jisung half-expected him to shake his head but instead he just shrugged. "Um. Well, you probably guessed, but I was born kind of towards the end of the Joseon era, when everything was kind of collapsing. So, um, I'd literally just passed the entrance exams to get into Sungkyungkwan, I think it was... um, like 1889? Or 1890? I can't really remember, it was something like that." 

"No need to remind me of how ancient you are," Jisung said, blinking rapidly. 

Jonghyun shook his head in awe. "I thought we'd established I was a hundred forty-eight." 

"Yeah, but like that's just a number. When you say it like you lived through the Joseon era and you got into Sungkyungkwan, it makes you seem way older." 

"Thanks," Jonghyun said, deadpan.

"No problem," Jisung said, beaming. 

"Can I continue?" 

"Can you?" 

Jonghyun looked like he was seriously considering throwing himself out a window.

"By which I mean, go right ahead," Jisung said quickly, beaming. 

"Um, so, anyway, I'd just gotten into Sungkyungkwan, and I was like really interested in medicine especially, and I met this like, um, physician's assistant, and we'd have long really long, lengthy discussions about biology and stuff. She was way smarter than most of the people I knew, she was full on like genius level. It sucked that the whole gender thing was there at the time because she would've gotten in no problem. 

"Um, anyway, well, she brought this whole idea of accelerated healing one time, and how if we managed to figure how say, newts grew their limbs back, we could help soldiers and amputees. And then I got really fixated on it, for some reason. Like so fixated on it that they threatened to kick me out of Sungkyungkwan because of it. Um, anyway, I began looking everywhere for examples in humans, that I could try to figure out how they'd worked. And that was when I stumbled on the whole vampire thing, in some really old books." 

"Oh yeah," Jisung said, eyes widening, "That was way before people knew vampires existed."

Jonghyun nodded. "So anyway, I began following it up and I decided I had to figure out how vampires managed to heal so fast. I found a surprising amount of stuff, enough that I was confident enough to bring up to her. But she like immediately shot it down. She said it was stupid and they were clearly myths, that they were fake and from the time when people believed anything." 

Jisung raised his eyebrows. "Lemme guess, she was a vampire?" 

"Stop spoiling the story," Jonghyun said, poking him, "I'm trying to tell it here." 

" _But_ I'm right though." 

Jonghyun sighed deeply. "Yeah. You're right. Um. She was a vampire. I found out when I caught her feeding off one of the patients. It was only a miniscule amount and she was always so careful to make sure it was the patients who were close to health, but yeah, she couldn't exactly deny it then. And she explained to me, that she'd love to figure out how her accelerated healing worked but she had like no clue and she'd been working on it for twenty years. But I was convinced that I could help her figure it out somehow, so I convinced her to turn me because you know, a good scientist tests everything on themselves." 

"So, you basically pulled a Jekyll and Hyde?" 

Jonghyun snorted. "Yeah. Basically. It was kind of stupid. I didn't even think it through. I was like a twenty year old idiot. I have no idea how I managed to get her to agree to it. She was pretty young too, for a vampire. Whip smart, but just as dumb as I was. I mean, we didn't end up figuring any of it out, obviously, so that ended up not working out at all, so we couldn't even do what we set out to do. We had to leave Korea and all our materials anyway a few years later because the Japanese invasion seemed imminent." 

Jisung glanced at him. "Do you regret it then?" 

Jonghyun shrugged. "I can't change it even if I did. I don't think I quite regret it. I would've missed a lot of things if I hadn't turned. I wouldn't have met the other NU'EST members. Or realised how much I like dancing and rapping. Or seen the Moon Landings. Or the victory in World War 2. Or seen Seo Taiji and Boys live. Or met all the people I did. So, yeah, I do think I was an idiot, but I don't think I regret it." 

"Wait," Jisung said, eyes growing huge, "You saw Seo Taiji and Boys live?" 

Jonghyun's grin widened. "Yup. Let me just tell you the poor quality videos don't do them justice."

Jisung's jaw felt like it was about to fall off. "Why did you not mention the fact you met the first ever k-pop group? I would've killed to see them live." 

"It never came up," Jonghyun said, shrugging, but that grin was unfaltering, "And they were insanely good. You guys missed out on so much just because you were born so late." 

"Oh forgive me for not choosing to be born in the Joseon era," Jisung said, rolling his eyes. 

"I'm just saying," Jonghyun said, raising his hands in surrender. 

"I don't need to be any older than I already am." 

Jonghyun just wiggled his eyebrows. 

The silence that fell felt considerably warmer than the ones earlier, a lot less weighty and uncomfortable. The urge to break it wasn't so pressing. 

His eyes drifted over to Daehwi, who still looked so small, so alone and so upset that it threatened to shatter Jisung's heart. 

"I still feel guilty over it," Jonghyun said quietly, and Jisung looked back to see his gaze on Daehwi, "Like we should've seen something. I should've realised. There was another vampire running around the building and I missed her completely? I... I just I should've noticed." 

"It's not your fault," Jisung said, almost on reflex, "It's no one's fault, except for the sasaeng's." 

"I know," Jonghyun said quietly, "It doesn't make me feel any less guilty for it. And it feels like I can't do anything to cheer him up. I can't... I don't know what to do. I feel way out of my depth." 

Jisung didn't know how to reply. All he did for several moments was stare at Daehwi in silence, almost letting guilt claw up his chest to swallow his mind whole. He shoved it down before it had a chance. 

"I'm going to go talk to him," Jisung said quietly. 

Jonghyun nodded in reply. 

He'd tried to approach Daehwi about it but had always chickened out. Most of the time he summoned up the courage, Daehwi was in one of his rare moments of happiness and he really didn't want to destroy those. So he usually just let it be. 

He scooted over to Daehwi, who was picking miserably at his shoelaces, as quiet as grave. It made his usual nonstop chatter seem like it had been a common occurrence a million years ago, and not just last week. It almost made him chicken out again.

He pushed on anyway. He crossed his legs when he'd moved close enough to him and punched him lightly on the shoulder. He wished he hadn't. The cold that he'd finally gotten used to with Daniel seemed so alien on Daehwi, like it was just a very realistic, moving marble corpse of Daehwi instead of the real thing. The reminder felt like blade to the heart, bringing with it all those ugly memories he would've rather kept quiet. 

"Hey, Daehwi," he said as brightly as he could manage. 

Daehwi didn't even seem to acknowledge him but his picking at his shoelaces slowed down a bit. 

"You doing okay?" 

Daehwi all but glared at him. "No. I don't know if you've noticed but I got turned into a vampire by a stalker, so its put a bit of a damper on my mood." 

Jisung shut his mouth. Well, he'd been brutally reminded how dumb that question was. He took a deep breath and continued on anyway. "Sorry. Bad start." 

"That's an understatement," Daehwi said bitterly. 

"Okay, let's rewind in time" -- Jisung did some dumb, over-the-top rewinding gestures, as though he was actually going back in time -- "and pretend that never happened." 

A ghost of a smile flickered on Daehwi's face before vanishing as quickly as it had appeared. It almost hurt more than the tears. 

"Okay, so, how are you holding up?" 

Daehwi shrugged but even it seemed half-hearted. "Um. Pretty badly. I think. I don't really know. Jonghyun and Daniel are helping but... it still sucks."

"Was the turning painful?" 

Daehwi opened his mouth and closed it again. "It should've hurt more. I wish it did. It being so soft makes... makes it icky. I don't know how to describe it. It's like she thinks she knows me. Like she wanted to be soft because she loves me. Out of the kindness of her heart. If it had been as Daniel says his was, maybe I would just be able to think of it as an attack. Like a wild dog or something. But it feels like a kiss instead. It feels like she's made it so soft to show her love for me. But it just feels kind of... I don't know, violating because it's so soft. Like she's stepped inside my boundaries and she's convinced it's okay because she loves me." 

Jisung had thought that Daniel's turning had been the most awful thing he'd ever seen. It still lingered in the back of his mind and he hated it for it. It cropped up in his nightmares. But Daehwi made his relatively easy turning a million times worse. Made it sounds sickening and uncomfortable in a way Daniel's never had. 

Daehwi rambled on and Jisung let him. He had a feeling Daehwi had held a lot of it back, maybe because of how bad Daniel's turning was meant to be. Afraid of saying anything when he knew Daniel had it worse. 

"I don't think I would've minded it so much if she hadn't done. The vampire thing itself is okay. It's weird and the blood thing gives makes me wanna vomit but it's not... not bad. It's hard to get to used to but it's not outright awful." He paused, his eyes returning to the floor. "Just because she did it. It makes me feel like she's taken something from me. Like I don't own myself anymore. Like a bit of me's hers, now and forever." His voice cracked. "I mean, the stalking was bad enough, why wasn't she satisfied with that? Why'd she have to take it a step further? Why did she need to turn me? What does she gain from it?" 

His voice sounded like he was on the verge of tears but his eyes, still stubbornly focused on the ground, released no such tears. "I just wish she wouldn't have taken the choice away from me. If I wanted to be vampire, I would've liked to have done so on my own terms. Not hers."

A part of Jisung wanted to stay quiet, unsure of what to say, afraid to reach out and comfort but he pushed himself. He wasn't going to let him struggle through this, virtually alone. Not like Daniel.

"I'm gonna be honest here, Daehwi. The first month or so is gonna be absolute shit. Watching Daniel having to go through it was like getting stabbed in the heart repeatedly. But remember you have us. Remember we're here for you. Don't close up on us. Don't try to take that burden alone. If you hurting, don't you dare try and pretend otherwise. This is gonna sound so cheesy, but that's what friends are for. We're here for the good and the bad. We're here to make sure you don't go through this alone. And it will get easier. I promise. It's like any other change -- ugly and unfamiliar at first, but you grow to see the beauty in it. Just don't be afraid to reach out. You may be a dumbass but we love you for it nonetheless." 

He squeezed Daehwi's shoulder and Daehwi rolled his eyes. "You sound like my mom," he said. But a small smile was budding on his face and he said very softly, so quiet that Jisung nearly missed it, "Thank you." 

Jisung only had a chance to offer him up as big as smile as he could manage before the Never team was called up. 

Daniel sat down next to him. He hadn't even realised the Open Up team had gone. "Nice pep talk." 

Jisung punched him in the shoulder. "Shut up, I'm working out the kinks. Trying to see if they're something I'm actually good at." 

Maybe he was just seeing things, but Daniel's smile looked a lot tighter at that comment. He spoke sincerely anyway. "No, no, it was good. I didn't hear all of it but it was nice." 

Jisung just rolled his eyes, his cheeks growing warm, and left it at that.

The Never team finished up pretty quickly, completing as perfectly as could be expected of what was probably the best team. The producers gave a few more comments, discussing some of the critiques and how to fix them with the team. 

The last performance he mostly watched in silence. He kept expecting Daniel to say something, to push him further after all he'd said yesterday, but he never did. Some part of Jisung wished he would but he let the quiet between them last, keeping his eyes on the performance instead. He was tired anyway. Maybe the silence was what he needed. 

It wasn't until they were stepping outside, into the corridor, that Daniel grabbed his arm, just as they were walking back to the training rooms.

He turned to Daniel, confusion weighing heavily on his brow. "What is it?" 

Daniel hesitated before speaking, his eyes darting all over the place before finally settling on Jisung himself, the warm black eyes making him feel like naked, as though his soul was laid bare in front of Daniel. 

"What you said to Daehwi. It applies to you too. Don't forget to ask us for help as well." 

Jisung couldn't help but wonder when Daniel had gotten so good at reading him. When he'd realised what the jokes and bravado hid his biggest secret, his own insecurity and mediocrity. It scared him more than he could put into words, that Daniel had seen right through him. And how long had he known? 

But he just smiled. "I won't."

He just hoped he meant it.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Yay, we have worldbuilding, backstories, character development, Jisung getting a smack of awareness from Daniel, all you could ask for xD  
> Yeah I'm hella sleep-deprived posting this I apologise but the chapter's here and that's what matters


	27. XXVI

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I think the tone in this chapter is a little weird but my beta reader said it was fine xD so I'm presuming it's fine. Anywayyyy we're taking a little break for more of my favourite thing *wiggles fingers* worldbuildingggg

The police came the day before the stage rehearsals. 

It made it all feel too real, too permanent to see the navy uniforms walking around, writing notes and chatting amongst themselves as they began to interview people.

They isolated the scene of the crime first, or at least where Daehwi had turned, which seemed pretty pointless because any evidence that might've been there was probably gone by now. Daniel looked a bit confused too. Jisung stood by the room, next to Daniel, trying to figure out what they were planning on doing.

One of the officers stepped into the room. He was one of the younger-looking ones, who couldn't have been much older than Daniel. He surveyed the bedroom with sharp eyes before, strangely, crouching down and breathing in heavily in what almost resembled a... sniff? 

If Jisung was confused before, now he was straight up lost. He glanced at Daniel who was staring at the officer, blinking rapidly as though he was still only processing what was happening. He spoke up after a while, his eyes still fixed on the officer, his brows low over his eyes, his head tilted like a confused puppy. 

"Are you as confused as I am?" 

"I mean, the guy just full-on sniffed the ground, I think we're entitled to be a bit confused," Jisung said. He wasn't able to tear his gaze away from the officer either.

The officer was turned away from them away at this stage but his cheek lifted in a way that suggested he was smiling. He was scribbling down notes every now and then but Jisung had no fucking idea what he'd be taking notes of. The smell of the room? How much Daehwi and the other trainees were in need of a wash? If the cleaning maid needed to be replaced? 

The officer stood up after what've must have been five minutes or so which felt like a way too short a time to analyse an entire room, considering all he seemed to be doing was sniffing everything now and then. He grinned over at them, his eyes looking a lot softer as a result. He looked even younger than when Jisung first saw him. 

"It's kind of weird to watch, I gotta admit," the guy said, "My partner always gives out to me whenever I do it."

Jisung blinked. "Uhh... sniff the floor?" 

"I mean I'm actually trying to pick up scents but sure." 

"It's been like a week," Daniel said, squinting at the officer, "And I can't smell anything?" 

The officer rolled his eyes. "Wow, you're green, huh? Not every human is built the same, so not every vampire ends up the same. Plus it depends on your turning and your sire and all that stuff, but anyway, basically, all vampires are different. So, I ended up with a really, really good sense of smell. Pretty useful for a police officer." 

Daniel nodded slowly. 

Jisung half-turned to him, a wicked grin on his face. "I guess that explains why Daehwi's got those tiny adorable fangs. Or maybe you've just got massive ass fangs. Like abnormally big ones." 

"Fuck off, Jisung, stop insulting my fangs. That's personal." 

The officer looked between them, with raised eyebrows. "Anyway, if the saesang had been here within the week, I would've smelled her. Which is both good and bad. Bad because I would've had a scent if she had been here and good because well, I don't think anyone wants her to come back. Also were you with the kid on the day he was turned? If so, please follow me, we're going to ask you some questions." 

The thought of being questioned put Jisung on edge. Like he'd somehow had a hand in turning Daehwi. As though he was guilty somehow. All those feelings of guilt and shame tossed and tumbled in his stomach, forcing bile up his throat. But he followed anyway the officer out anyway. Refusing to be asked questions would make them more suspicious. 

The officer led them to two other policemen (one of which was occupied with an interview with Taehyun).

Jisung looked between the two, his breath caught in his throat, not quite sure which one to go to. He turned to Daniel, ready to make some stupid joke about which one they should choose when the taller, paler one grabbed Daniel by the arm and dragged him over in a series of movements so quick that Jisung almost missed them. 

"I'll take you two," the officer said, his voice stern. 

His bloodless, blemishless skin, visible from this close made it pretty clear he was a vampire. Even with the pale pink scars scattered across his forehead. Jisung wasn't sure he'd ever seen a vampire with any kind of scars, faded or no.

Jisung glanced at Daniel, who was staring at the officer with furrowed brows.

"What? Why?" Daniel said, suspicion leaking into his tone. 

The officer's lips formed a thin line. "The other officer is a hunter." 

"And?" Jisung said, glancing at the other policeman. 

"He might try to accuse you of doing it," the officer said, his voice serious in a way that made a shiver race down Jisung's spine. 

Daniel raised his eyebrows. "How?" 

"They'd find a way. They have a case to close. They don't care, as long as you fit the profile. And right now, the profile is a vampire." 

Jisung's skin prickled. "I thought that hunters were meant to be less... y'know, extreme in the police?"

The police officer smiled but it didn't reach his eyes. "Why would that be?" 

Jisung couldn't find a reply.

"All it does is give them a shield," the officer said quietly, "And the higher-ups are far too filled with hunters for them to ever be accused of unfair treatment or harassment. Just because they're police, doesn't mean they're good." There was a pause. "Who wants to go first, for questioning?" 

Jisung glanced at Daniel, who'd gone paler than usual. He looked like he needed a moment. 

"Um, I will," he said, shrugging, turning back to the vampire.

The vampire nodded, glancing down at his notebook. "I'm Senior Police Officer Kyung Junseok. Could I have your name, please, before we begin?" 

Jisung's heart was racing at a million miles a minute. He tried to keep his voice as steady as possible. "Yoon Jisung." 

"Perfect. Age?" 

"Uh, 27." 

Even saying it made him cringe. He hated how old it made him feel, admitting that he was brushing thirty. In that tiny sliver of a moment, he almost understand Jihoon's desire to become a vampire. He didn't want to get any older either. Twenty seven years was more than enough. He wanted to stop now. 

The officer nodded. "Human or vampire?" 

Jisung's brow creased at that. He would've assumed the vampire would've known just by the scent. It was probably just standard procedure or something. 

"Uh, h-human." 

"Thank you. What is your relation to the victim?" 

The word victim made the hairs on the back of his neck stand on end. He didn't like how it reverberated in his ears. Daehwi hadn't wanted to be defined by her and yet, calling him the victim made him hers. He wasn't Daehwi to the police, he was her victim. She owned him. She defined him. 

"Friend, I guess." 

The police officer nodded. "Where were you between the hours of one to six p.m. on the Thursday morning of May 25th?" 

It felt like he was being accused. Which was stupid because he wasn't even a vampire so he couldn't have turned Daehwi, even if he wanted to. But it still felt that way. But it still felt like they were considering him as a perpetrator, somehow. As though his mere presence at the location was enough to merit an accusation. 

"At a shopping centre and then main Seoul blood bank, uh, and maybe he mentioned it, but I was with Daehwi. There was a group of seven or eight of us and, we, um, left at like two - no, three and we were back by six at the latest. I think." 

Officer Kyung scribbled down in his notepad as he spoke but even those quick strokes looked elegant and sharp. "Did you notice anything out of the ordinary on that particular day? For example, anyone following you, or anyone talking to you or the other members of your group in search of Daehwi?" 

It wasn't hard to remember the answer to that question. "In the blood bank, um, Daehwi said that he'd met a woman in the bathroom while Daniel was going up to get blood. I was, um, going up with Daniel. Because. Um. He was kind of nervous. So I didn't actually see her. Or meet her." 

More scribbling of notes. Jisung was secretly glad for it. It meant he didn't have to look the officer in the eye and the man's eyes terrified him. Even if he didn't mean any harm. He didn't want to imagine what they looked like when they were crimson. 

"Did anyone else catch a glimpse of her? Outside of Lee Daehwi himself?" 

"Um," Jisung started, swallowing, "Seongwoo said he recognised her or something, when she stepped out of the bathroom."

A nod came as a response and Kyung finished dotting all his notes down. "Thank you. If she returns, please contact us immediately." 

Jisung's eyebrows pulled together. "Why would she come back? Daniel's..." 

Kyung met his eyes again and Jisung looked away as quickly as possible. Looking into the vampire's eyes felt like having his entire body bathed in ice. 

"Most saesang turnings are done with the intention of claiming the idol for their own. She'll likely return in her attempt to do that. I presume you're referring to the Kang heir when you mean Daniel. If I could be quite blunt, the difference between the two turnings is that Lee Daehwi's sire loves him and Kang Daniel's, obviously, doesn't." 

"Oh," was all he managed. 

He wasn't sure what else to say to that. He glanced back to Daniel, who was standing awkwardly behind them, looking like he was out of place. A part of him was kind of glad that Daniel's sire didn't care about him. He wasn't sure he'd be able to deal with them coming back. The mere thought of Daehwi's sire returning was enough to put his teeth on edge.

He looked back to Kyung, and his eyes darted to his forehead again, almost on instinct, to those pale pink lines. Some part of him was tempted to ask but he wasn't how sure how impolite that would be. Or how much Kyung didn't want to talk about it. 

He asked anyway, because he was shit at keeping his mouth shut. 

"Um, I didn't know, um, I don't think I've ever seen a vampire with scars before," he said and immediately regretted it, because those icy eyes turned back to him.

There was a long silence before Kyung said anything, his lips pressed into a line. "I'm sure he'll" -- he nodded over to Daniel -- "be able to tell you how it happens. It's not common, not any more, but it happens." 

Jisung glanced over at Daniel, whose head had jerked up, surprise lacing his eyes. 

Daniel bit his lip before saying anything. "Um. If you use pure enough silver, it'll take so long to heal that it'll scar. It's kind of hard to find silver that pure nowadays but um... yeah." 

He turned back to Kyung. "So... someone cut your forehead?" 

Kyung's smile was pained. "Something like that." 

"Oh," Daniel said from behind him and Jisung glanced behind to find wide eyes, "You're one of the leech-lover turnings." 

The expression that flashed across Kyung's face confirmed it. "Unfortunately. The original set in the eighties." 

Jisung's mouth hung open. He'd only heard of them in snatched whispers between adults when he'd been a kid, during the small resurgence of them decade later and everyone had been convinced they'd come back. His grandpa had been all for them, of course. Nothing sated his grandfather's thirst for revenge against hunters who dared to fight for and work alongside leeches in the police quite like them being kidnapped by fellow hunters, being turned and dumped somewhere remote with 'leech-lover' carved into their foreheads, starving and blood-crazed.

But even then, with the adults around him discussing it non-stop and his grandfather gunning for it, it had always seemed distant and far-away, almost dreamlike. Like watching a war film on TV. Horrifying and gruesome but ultimately fake and far-away. It hadn't affected him. But now, staring one of the victims right in the face, it felt real. Unnervingly so.

"Shit," was all he managed. 

That razor-thin smile grew tighter. "Exactly. Not pretty. Even less enjoyable to experience. I suppose I was one of the lucky ones. Or unlucky ones. Most of them starved to death. All I did was try to eat the people that found me."

Jisung didn't know how to reply to that. How were you supposed to reply to that? So he just stayed quiet, staring down at the floor, his stomach twisting itself into thousands of knots.

Kyung just nodded towards Daniel, and Jisung stepped back, his mind still racing. His eyes kept darting to those scars, shudders racing down his spine. He didn't even want to imagine what that turning had looked like. He had a funny feeling it would be worse than even Daniel's. Kyung suddenly didn't seem so intimidating anymore. He just seemed... hardened and exhausted in equal measure, like the world had thrown too much at him and he was worn through and toughened as a result. Jisung could relate to that, a lot more than he expected. 

"Name?" Kyung said, eyes glancing back to the notebook again. 

"Um, Kang Daniel." 

"Age?" 

"Twenty-two." 

Kyung glanced up at him. "I'm presuming that's real age, not the age you were turned at, considering how recent the turning was?"

Daniel nodded. "Um, yeah. It's not my birthday until like December. Um. So real." 

"Human or vampire?" Kyung continued, not even looking up for that question.

Daniel hesitated for a split second. "Vampire." 

Kyung glanced up at him, an unexpected empathy staining his features, making the sharp and cold that much softer. "I'm sure you've heard this a million times at this stage, but it does get easier. Slowly, but it does. Then again, we do have far too much time to get used to it." He smiled grimly. 

Daniel nodded, staring down at his hands, wringing his fingers. "It's easier than it was at the start," he mumbled, "I mean. I don't hate myself so much. But it still feels like I've got so long to go." He paused, glancing up at him. "How long did it take you to..." 

"Adjust to it?" 

Daniel nodded. "If, um, you're okay with talking about it?" 

Kyung went quiet for a while, twirling his pen between his fingers. "I was numb to it for the first three years. It didn't quite register. It wasn't really until after I..." He bit his lip. "About a decade for most of the self-loathing to disappear." His eyes fixed on Daniel. "I know some people for whom it took much longer. Much longer. One stayed cooped in his house for a year because he couldn't deal with it. A lot of them quit the police force. Quite frankly, I don't blame them. They didn't arrest any of the perpetrators until well after they'd stopped. A lot of them they didn't arrest at all." 

"Did they...," Daniel started, before swallowing, "Did they arrest the people who did it to you?" 

"Yes, but only because I pushed for it for at least two decades. I doubt they would've done it otherwise." He paused, glancing down at his notebook. "Are you hoping they'll catch your sire?" 

Daniel just half-shrugged. "I don't really know," he mumbled, "I don't know if I care enough about her to want her caught." 

Kyung raised his eyebrows, surprise lacing his expression. 

"I just, I dunno," Daniel said, running a hand through his hair, "I've spent way too much time thinking about her as it is. I kind of just want to let it go. I'm kind of tired of it. I don't really want to remember that night and thinking about her forces me back to it." 

Kyung didn't reply, his eyes scraping over Daniel for several moments. His gaze dropped to his notebook again and he opened his mouth, presumably to continue with the questions but Daniel got there first. 

"This is going to sound really fucking stupid, but did it hurt?" 

"The turning?" Kyung said, before he paused, "I guess. The vampire who turned me didn't want to do it, so it wasn't awful. I think he wanted to make sure it wasn't too painful. The carving of leech lover into my forehead was arguably worse, as was the hunger." His eyes met Daniel's. "I have feeling yours is worse." 

Daniel grimaced, rubbing his collarbone, right where the bite was. "I don't... I don't really like to think about it. Or talk about it. It's, um, yeah. It hurt a lot. Like hell." He fell silent for a moment. "Did your... Did your bite heal?"

Kyung's brows pinched together. "Do you mean did it fade? A little, I guess but it never was that violent, in terms of appearance."

"Oh," Daniel mumbled, "Okay. Um. Yeah. Doesn't matter. I just... nevermind."

Kyung eyed him for a few moments more before pushing on with the questions. They didn't take long -- Daniel gave a lot of the same answers as he did. Kyung didn't write much down as a result. After the few minutes of the interview, he closed the notebook and slipped it into his pocket, glancing over at the human officer beside him, whose gaze had become fixated on Daniel.

"Thank you," he said after a momentary pause, "We'll be in contact if we manage to locate the sasaeng."

Daniel nodded, stepping back, his eyes drifting over to the human officer. His brows creased but before he had a chance to say anything, the other officer spoke, eyes lighting up. 

"Daniel? I didn't know you were on this show. Do your parents know? We haven't talked, in like, how long? I haven't heard any of the others mention you in like months, normally they're always bringing you up so I thought it was kind of strange but clearly you just like way too busy for them to keep track of all the stuff you're doing." 

Daniel was staring at him, eyes wide. "Changho?" 

"Surprise!" Changho said brightly, "I joined the police force like a year ago, but I never told Daesung, y'know the way he like tells you everything -- I actually haven't heard him mention you either, which yeah, that is strange, you guys are like attached at the hip--"

"Um, yeah," Daniel said, laughing nervously, glancing at Kyung who had his gaze fixated on Changho, looking like he was ready to step in at any moment, "I just. Um. Haven't had the chance to. Um. Y'know. Catch up with them. With Produce and all." Jisung didn't miss the way his voice wobbled.

Changho clearly did. "Oh same, I get like no breaks because I'm trying so hard to move up the ranks from the bottom. I've been stuck at Police Officer for like ages now. But it's getting better! I'm due a promotion soon. Hopefully. Anyway, how've you been? I'm surprised to see you here. I thought your parents would've pulled back on the whole idol thing because they thought it was just a phase and stuff. And I mean, this competition seems pretty legit so I don't know why they would've let you on, kind of weird but anyway. They'll probably pull you back anyway. We need you and all that. Since you were like a hunter prodigy and everything. Are you still in the way to becoming the best hunter in all of history? I always wanted to be as good as you, but I guess the whole Kang thing gave you an advantage. I'm happy where I am now though." 

Daniel's smile was razor-thin. He was essentially not breathing at this stage. "Yeah. It's not been too bad. At the moment. Um. Not easy though." 

The officer laughed, looking back down to his notebook. "Yeah, from what my girlfriend's been saying about it, a survival show like this is way harder than it looks. And it looks pretty hard so that's impressive but if you're anywhere near as good at being an idol as you are at hunting, then you'll be fine. How's the competition going anyway? I think she mentioned you like once but in like a weird way, I dunno what she was going on about, I can't really remember but I just thought it was some other Kang Daniel, but yeah, you doing okay in the competition?" 

Daniel swallowed. "Um. Yeah. It's okay. It was kind of hard. I mean everything's been kind of hard these past few months, but um, yeah, I didn't expect to be here. Like um. Especially with all things considered. Y'know. But um. I'm dealing. I think." 

Changho's eyebrows pinched together. Jisung was sure he'd get it at this stage -- and then he completely missed what was right in front of him. "Hard how? Oh wait, the survival show thing, it's like impossible and stuff. I know I wouldn't be cut out for it, so kudos to you for doing it, my girlfriend always gets so stressed during the eliminations so I can't imagine what it's like to actually have to be part of one, y'know in like real life. Um. Do you want to catch up sometime when you're free? If you're free? We haven't talked in like forever. There's this really good coffee shop in Itaewon, they do amazing chicken sandwichs, full on unreal." 

Jisung squinted at him, half-expecting him to laugh and say he was joking because surely he couldn't be this oblivious. Surely not.

Daniel stared at him. "You don't know." 

Changho was blank. "Don't know what? Are you on like a diet or something --" 

"Changho," Daniel said, his voice coming out all odd, "I got turned." 

That blankness fell away to shock. For the first time, he seemed lost for words, his mouth opening and closing and no sounds coming out. The silence felt uncomfortable, crushing Jisung's lungs with the weight of it. Daniel looked like he was no better off. His face was sheet white, eyes fixated on Changho, red creeping up his irises every few seconds, like fear was crawling slowly upwards and every defeat was only temporary. 

"Oh," was all Changho said, swallowing loudly, "I. Um." His eyes scraped over Daniel for a few moments. "Um. Oh. I. Yeah. I should've -- you're the Kang heir." 

Daniel just nodded silently, but Jisung didn't miss the way he winced ever so slightly at the reminder. 

"Yeah," Changho mumbled, his voice strangely distant, "That makes sense. Yeah. I get now why you didn't come to that thing a while back. Or why no one was talking about you." 

"At all?" Daniel said, all of sudden, his voice very small, "No one mentioned me?" 

Changho shook his head before pausing, his eyes darting to Daniel over and over again, an uncomfortable emotion lingering beneath them. "Um. I think... I think Daesung mentioned you once but... he looked angry afterwards. Um. I dunno, I didn't really ask him more but he was like. Mad. And annoyed." 

"Of course he was," Daniel said, jaw clenching, "Because it's all my fucking fault."

Changho swallowed. "I mean. It kind of w--" 

"How the fuck was it my fault?" Daniel snapped, his eyes cut into slits, "Explain it to me because I'm not fucking getting it. A vampire turning me against my will was my fault?" 

"Um," Changho said, blinking rapidly, "I mean you could've been more careful" -- Daniel's eyes flashed red and Changho swallowed loudly but continued anyway -- "I guess? Um. I mean. You are like. The kid of the biggest hunter legacy."

"Oh, I'm sorry I didn't expect to be turned into a vampire on a night out," Daniel snapped. 

Changho just shrugged, avoiding Daniel's gaze. "I mean, if you weren't more careful it wouldn't have happened. Like. Who's fault is it if it isn't yours?" 

Jisung felt a strange surge of guilt flood his stomach, pushing bile up his throat. If he hadn't argued with Daniel, then Daniel wouldn't have gone off on his own and he would still be human, and Jisung wouldn't have had to watch him turn and vomit food into a toilet and cry because none of his old friends were talking to him and fall to 60th and beg the audience to save him and watch his dad and his friends and the audience and the trainees reject him and and all of it was Jisung's fault because he hadn't been able to shove his anger down and say sorry -- 

Daniel's voice cut through his thoughts. "Maybe the vampire who did it? I dunno, just a thought." 

Changho's expression twisted into something much less kind for a split second, before relaxing back into that numb shock. "Yeah," he said, not sounding particularly convinced, "Either way, if you'd been more careful, you'd probably not, y'know, ended one of the longest hunter legacies there is."

Daniel's jaw clenched. "I don't think much is gonna be lost. It was kind of a shitty family tree anyway." A strange smile grew on his face. "And the Kang line isn't really over, if that's what you're so worried about. I mean, technically, it's immortalised, right?" There was a pause. "Considering you've been so focused on how it's my fault and not how shitty it's been for me, I don't think I'm really that annoyed about leaving one hunter family dead." 

There was a long pause, and something like guilt flashed across Changho's features. He stared down at his hands, wringing his fingers before looked up to meet Daniel's eyes at last. "I'm sorry about what happened," he mumbled at last, his voice unsteady, "I kind of -- um, it probably wasn't easy." He swallowed heavily. "At all."

A tight smile came as a reply. "Thanks," Daniel said, "I appreciate the sentiment. But it's not as hard. Not anymore."

"Good," Changho said, his voice strangled and sounded like he disagreed with Daniel finding easier. Like he wanted Daniel to admit that it had been awful and he hated every minute of it and he wanted to be human again so badly. 

Daniel had picked up on it as well. "Y'know, I don't think my suffering would've helped anyone. I don't really want to be a martyr for the hunter cause, considering my dad is going around acting like I'm dead." 

Changho just nodded, avoiding his gaze once more. "We'll do our best to find the saesang."

Daniel's brow creased but then his expression softened and he reached out to his former friend. "Changho --" 

But Changho had already raced away from Daniel, almost like he expected him to drink his blood if he stayed anything longer. 

Daniel's hand dropped to his side and he seemed to shrink inwards upon himself, as though trying to make the very core of his being smaller. 

Kyung spoke up, taking Jisung off guard, that same softness to his tone, from when he was previously talking to Daniel.

"That always happens. For a community that praises and encourages blind loyalty, hunters are a fickle lot." 

Daniel looked up at him, eyes wide. "I mean, I don't expect them to let me back into being a hunter when I'm the very thing they hunt." 

"Do you want to be let back in?" 

Daniel hesitated. "No. No, not really." 

"I expected as much," Kyung said, smiling, "Not a very appealing group when you take a step back from them. At least not those in Busan. Almost makes you glad to be a vampire. A free ticket out." 

"Do you hate them, now? After what they did to you?" 

"It'd be hard not to. But I had to get over that, seeing as I work with them on a daily basis. Hate is too strong a word. It's more of a distaste for them. I just have to keep in mind that the people who did this to me were a group of a extremists that don't usually represent the majority." His eyes met Daniel's. "Do you hate every vampire because of your turning? Granted, I don't know if that's a fair comparison, considering there are more hunter extr--" 

Daniel shook his head and Kyung felt quiet a for a moment.

"Anyway, you see my point." 

There was a long pause. "I should be going," Kyung said, moving to follow in the direction of where Changho had gone, "He's mostly my responsibility as my junior and I can't have him ending up in someplace strange." 

They watched him go and Jisung half-turned to Daniel, his voice quiet. "What's up with the bite?" 

Daniel whipped his head over to him, almost like he'd forgotten he was there. "Oh. Um. It's just... It still looks like shit. I guess. I dunno. I kind of expected it to look less like a horror movie monster took a chunk out of me or something and it still does and I..." He shrugged. "Jonghyun says he doesn't know because he's only met like one other revenge turning before and it wasn't for particularly long so he obviously didn't really have time to talk about the bite." 

"Oh," Jisung said quietly. The guilt squirmed, digging deeper into his stomach, making him feel sick. 

Daniel's eyes lingered on him. "What?" 

Jisung opened his mouth but closed it again, shrugging. "Nothing." 

"I thought you were going to try to open more?" Daniel smiling wryly, even if his eyes were soft. 

Jisung opened his mouth again but shook his head. "Maybe some other time. I don't know if I can right now. It's just... nothing. Nevermind." 

He didn't miss the way Daniel's face fell but Daniel didn't push any further.

Jisung was only too eager to change the topic. "I hope they'll find the saesang. I hope she doesn't come to us." 

"Yeah," Daniel said, but his voice seemed distant, like his mind was occupied with other thoughts. Jisung could only wonder what they were.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I hope you enjoyed the chapter! Concept Evaluation next chapter :3333 
> 
> (also yeah there's a set of turnings even shittier than the revenge turnings and sasaeng turnings because the world's fucked like that :D the leech-lover turnings are officially the top of my list of the most fucked up turnings :3)


	28. XXVII

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Happy (belated) Christmas! Or St. Stephen's Day. I dunno. You choose xD   
> Yay! Concept Evaluation timeeeee! Second last evaluation oh my gosh I can't believe how close we are to the end T-T but anyway, hope you enjoy the chapter!

The day of the performances was as tense as ever and Jisung hated it for it. 

Even if Never had the most high ranking trainees and Open Up was Mnet's darling, Show Time's performance and song were not weak. There had been no mishaps or messups since they'd started practicing, Samuel had managed to figure out how to reach those high notes and they had that impossible dance break down. They were ready for it. They could do it. It was the most confident Jisung had been in a performance yet. Their stage rehearsal had gone as flawlessly as anyone could've hoped. 

And yet, everyone was on edge. Maybe because the elimination was looking over them once more. Maybe because they were being judged on what was their original songs for once. Maybe because they were being pitted against each other more and they had fight the teammates they'd tried to befriend. 

But it didn't feel like any of those things. The eliminations were beginning to lose their bite, as were the votes in the performances. The original songs meant that people wouldn't be comparing them with the original performers of their covers. 

The atmosphere was strange, rather than truly tense. Jisung couldn't put his finger on it but it felt uneasy, not quite scared or worried. 

The only thing he could think of was Daehwi. 

Daehwi's turning had made everything feel... off. As though the equilibrium had been tipped and the universe off-balance. Combined with the revelation that Jonghyun was the other vampire, it made everyone almost... jittery. Like they expected another vampire to pop up out of nowhere. Like they expected to be turned too. Like they all thought they had their own saesangs. 

And considering the concept evaluation would be the first time since Daehwi's turning they would be coming into contact in any way with people outside the trainees, staff and music producers, it didn't unreasonable to be on edge. Could their own saesangs be in the audience, waiting until they could corner them in the bathroom and turn them because they couldn't hope to overpower to a vampire? Jisung hadn't really thought about it up until then but suddenly it seemed almost reasonable, almost possible, almost real. He couldn't help glancing behind his shoulder any time he left the safety of the backstage. Jisung didn't hate vampires but that didn't mean he wanted to be one. 

Daehwi was on edge too, but obviously for different reasons. His hands were trembling any time Jisung glanced over at him, and even when Jisung walked past him and gave him his best comforting smile and slap on the shoulder (the cold still set his teeth on edge, even sheltered by his top), Daehwi didn't even seem to be able to crack a smile. Not even a small one. 

But he didn't have a chance to find out why Daehwi was so terrified, even if he had his suspicions. He was whisked away for the Show Time stage by the time the stylists and makeup artists had finished with him. 

Backstage was somewhere between chaotic and quiet. When he first stepped into the corridor right before getting on stage, it was filled with yells and loud chatter and panic. Samuel and Woojin were messing around, even as Samuel looked scared to death, and Woodam was practicing high notes under his breath (Jisung had how no idea how that was even possible) and Sanggyun, Sungwoon and Taehyun were buried in some in in-depth conversation that sounded like it was a discussion over houseplants? Maybe he'd it wrong in all the hubbub. 

But the talk died away as soon as they heard BoA. Back on the stage. Back in front of the audience. Back to the fear. But it didn't feel like a repeat of Position Evaluation -- the fear felt so much more visceral, much more real, like twisted claws digging deep into his chest in at an gleeful attempt to seize his heart. 

He noticed the others glancing over their shoulders, when they thought no one else was looking. Suspicious looks were even thrown towards their staff. The screams and calls from outside seemed to only put everyone more on edge, instead providing any comfort. 

He'd never been so aware of all the people around him. Seongwoo had seen the saesang as a staff member before. It wasn't unreasonable that another could wiggle their way into that. They never really paid attention to the faces of the staff anyway, seeing as there several dozen of them. They had enough fellow trainees to keep up with. They probably wouldn't even notice an unfamiliar face. 

And how difficult would it be to slip some vampire blood into a drink? What had had he drank this evening? Or over the past few days? How long would vampire blood last in someone's body? He'd had a can of Coke at lunchtime. That was black, someone could easily slip vampire blood into it. Daniel hadn't even noticed vampire blood in his drink, and he was trained to spot it. How could any of them hope to notice it? 

How hard would even be to bite one of them? Daehwi's bite had looked so soft, so gentle that it surely hadn't even been noticeable. Would it just feel like a sharp pain and then nothing? Something you could mistake for cutting yourself off something or being pinched or jabbed? 

Just when he felt like he was about to vomit, one of the staff members yelled over at them. He did his best to shove those thoughts back into the depths of his mind from where they came. The mirroring faces of discomfort and fear from the others didn't make it easy. 

They walked up onto the stage and Jisung tried to keep his eyes on BoA for as much time as possible. The giant smile on his face felt more false than ever and he was barely holding onto it. His mind was so clouded by fear that he could hardly think straight. How was he supposed to perform something as upbeat as Show Time when he was terrified to death? 

They did the introduction and BoA immediately dived into the questions. 

"MMO trainee Yoon Jisung."

Jisung couldn't think. He couldn't answer a question. He especially couldn't answer the first question. His mouth was dry. His mind was blank. He couldn't think. He couldn't think. 

"What is the concept of this song, 'Show Time'?"

Easy question. He knew the answer to that question. He'd practiced the answer to that question. He knew this, he fucking knew it, but his mind was pulling up blanks and all he could think of was Daehwi and bile was rising in his throat and he thought he was going to vomit. 

He turned to the audience, a giant, fake smile on his face and he still couldn't think. They were screaming up at him, excited and electric, so eager to see the performances and to see them and Jisung should've been on top of the world but the claws of fear had pierced his chest, claimed his heart and dulled his mind. All he could see when he looked into those excited, eager faces was crimson eyes in the corners of his vision. 

He took a deep breath and pushed through it, trying to keep his voice stable the whole way through. He could do this. Simple answer. He knew it. Inhale. Exhale. Inhale. Exhale. Speak. Use muscle memory. His mouth knew the words even if his mind didn't. 

"With this Nu Disco genre, together with the Nation's Producers, gave us a dance with a fighting spirit. If you give us strength like this" -- he did some dumb, sort of powerful dance moves -- "it would be great! It's a song like that." He did his best to finish it off with his clap, and his smile felt so forced his cheeks were beginning to ache. 

The audience screamed his name and fear tightened its vice-like grip on his heart. Could one of those who were screaming be like Daehwi's sasaeng? Could they be planning to turn him, hiding in plain sight amongst other fans, never even arousing suspicion? Jisung looked away from the crowd as fast as he could, returning to the safety and familiarity of BoA. 

Then they were being lead off-stage again. He had to get his shit together before they went back on or else he'd get no votes. The team needed the 220,000 points. Everyone's votes were essential. He couldn't afford to let them down. 

"Hyung?" Taehyun whispered from beside him, "Are you okay? You looked like you're about to vomit." 

He wanted to brush it off, to pretend he was okay and happy and as upbeat as he always was, never even getting mildly upset. Jisung was never meant to be sad. He had to be strong one, the happy one, the funny one, the eldest, the one who took care of everyone. He had no time for fear or weakness or sadness or any even remotely negative emotion. He had an image to keep up. 

But he remembered what Daniel had said. And guilt piled on top of his fear, make the urge to throw up that much stronger. He'd promised. He'd promised he'd try. He'd said he wouldn't be afraid to ask help. And Jisung had lied about a lot of things and would lie about a lot of things to come but he didn't want to lie about that one. He didn't want to let Daniel down like that. 

"Um. I. Um. I actually feel pretty shitty."

Taehyun's eyebrows rose in surprise and Jisung regretted it immediately, he shouldn't have said anything, he should've just sucked it up and pretended he was okay like he always d-- 

"Are you comfortable with explaining why? Maybe if you speak about it you'll feel better. My mom always says that anyway." 

Jisung didn't know how to put the confusing mess of hurt, fear and paranoia into words. It had only ever existed in his head, messy and incoherent. But Taehyun was inviting him to try and he didn't have much time and he really wanted to try this, to ease it all before he went on stage to pretend there was nothing wrong with him. 

"Uh, I'm just... I'm just scared that the same thing's gonna happen to me as what happened to Daehwi. I know it's stupid and all, and I doubt anyone would want to stalk me but I can't help it. I think everyone in the crowd is a saesang who's ready to corner me and turn me. I'm afraid I'll look behind me and see a vampire who's going to turn me. And I'm afraid of messing up because I'm so afraid. I don't want to give a bad performance and bring the whole team down." 

Taehyun chewed on his lip, not replying for several moments. "They've tightened security. So it should be more difficult for someone to slip in. And Jonghyun and Daniel would probably be able to spot and deal with any vampire who does manage come backstage. It's not stupid or irrational, I think everyone's spooked since the whole thing with Daehwi. I'd be lying if I said I wasn't scared shitless. But we can't let the fear control everything. And we have to go give a good performance, for the other thousand fans who aren't stalkers. Just because there's one bad egg, doesn't mean the whole basket's rotten." He smiled brightly. "Just do your best, hyung and that'll be more than enough." 

It was weird to be on the receiving end of the comfort. He was so used to giving without getting much in return that it felt... nice to be reassured and sheltered and told it would be alright. His heart swelled in his chest. The smile felt a lot more genuine. 

"Thanks," he said, and Taehyun just nodded in acknowledgement, walking up onto the stage as the staff gave the cue. 

"You okay, hyung?" Samuel whispered from behind him. 

Jisung nodded. "I think I'm doing a bit better now." And he found that strangely, he meant it. 

He followed Taehyun back onstage, getting into position. The crowd was much more subdued than they had been earlier but the electric atmosphere was still crackling and burning. 

Some part of him was still afraid. It held onto those crimson eyes he thought he saw in the crowd, it cowered from the unfamiliar faces of the staff and it grasped desperately onto his doubt and fed off his terror. 

But the warm feeling in his chest, ignited by Taehyun's comfort, overcame that fear, burning brighter than any of the irrational terror he was experiencing. He was still afraid but he could deal with it. He could control it. And he found himself just as excited as the crowd. He could do this. He'd done it a million times in rehearsal. And now he would have the screams and cries of a crowd to push him on. 

He risked a glance at the others. Sanggyun looked determined, his jaw set, Samuel was all but glowing, looking ready to explode, Woojin's hands were shaking but his smile stretched from ear to ear, Sungwoon's expression was all but blank, eyes locked on the audience, Taehyun's chest was heaving already and Woodam was smiling nervously. For a moment, the nerves almost came over him again. For a second he doubted himself, wondered if they could actually do this, if they would actually manage to get those points, the points they needed so badly it was like oxygen, would they actually be ab-- 

The music started, explosive and energetic, fuelling the crowd's frantic joy, and in turn their own eagerness and the smile that had eluded him returned with full power, so wide that it ached and Jisung just kept smiling. 

They started into the first few dance moves, and he slid into them like a tailored glove. It was like it had been made for him -- the excitement fuelled him in a way unlike the beauty of the Position Evaluation or the adrenaline rush of the Team Evaluation -- and he performed each move with as much expression as he could muster. He didn't even have to put on a facade, just slip into part of himself that was upbeat and funny and loveable and it felt so good to stare out at the audience who were screaming for them. He was on top of the world. He was touching the clouds and he couldn't even find it in himself to care about how few lines he'd gotten. He gave his few lines everything, he put every ounce of his being into them and then drove the leftovers into his dance moves. 

And the others were giving it their everything as well. Samuel was the best centre he'd ever been in a group with. He pulled all the attention towards him with ease and still left enough for the everyone else. His energy gave them energy. 

Sungwoon never missed so much as a note or dance move and pushed them both to their absolute limits, hitting every high note with ease and performing every dance move like it'd been made for him. 

Woodam's voice was like that of an angel's. Jisung could've listened to his segment for eternity, no matter how much rage he felt towards him. It almost made him wish Woodam had managed to get vocal in the Position Evaluation. 

Woojin so effortlessly adorable and yet so full of power and brimming with talent that he lit the whole stage up with his presence, seizing all of his solo moments with reckless abandon. 

Sanggyun's raps were fire, burning and crackling, performed with such confidence that it made him want to stand back and admire them, to get absorbed in the flow and rhythm and speed. 

Taehyun proved why he'd won the Position Evaluation for dance -- every move was so perfectly executed that it seemed like he'd been born performing it, putting even the demo, the original, to shame. It all pushed Jisung onwards, forcing him to go above and beyond to reach the heights of his teammates. And he was almost sure he had. 

By the time it came to end, feeling like it had lasted a few seconds rather than three and half minutes, Jisung was panting and heaving. He was worn through but in the best way. In the way that he knew he'd given it all he had. He knew that he couldn't have pulled off a better performance than the one he'd given. He left the stage grinning from ear to ear. The others had matching expressions.

But the euphoria seemed to fade as they walked towards their room. Sungwoon's expression dropped almost immediately. 

"We could've done better," he said, almost to himself, "I don't want that to be my last stage." 

The words pierced the bubble of Jisung's joy. He didn't want to run back over the stage mentally, picking over mistake and mishap but his mind seemed to be forcing him into it as it conjured up every tiny mistake. He tried to push it away, tried to focus on what he'd done well, to somehow repair that burst bubble but even as he directed his attention towards the things he'd done right, his mind lingered on everything he hadn't. He'd come so close to thinking he had value, to being proud of what he'd done and it was slipping out of his fingers like water, the warm feeling beginning to seem like distant memory.

"Hyung?" Samuel said from behind him. He turned to meet the boy's eyes and they were brimming with tears.

"I don't know if I'll get through. I really want to get through. I have to get through." 

Jisung couldn't even fathom Samuel not getting through. It seemed like an impossibility, like the mere thought of it was defying the laws of the universe itself. 

He did his best to smile. "You're going to get through, Samuel. There's a spot in the final eleven reserved just for you. They have to let you through."

Samuel just smiled faintly. "Thanks, hyung," he said, but that watery edge to his voice was still present as they were pushed back into the room with the other trainees. He didn't have a chance to say anything else to him. Samuel had already disappeared by the time he turned back around to talk to him. 

So he resigned himself to one of the seats freed up by the next group leaving, hoping his few words had done something. 

"You okay?" came Daniel's voice from in front of him. 

"Yeah, just Sa-- nevermind. Just glad to be done my stage." 

"You want the comfort plushie? I mean it's not really a comfort plushie, it's just a plushie but yeah. Um. You want it?" 

Jisung just stared. "The what?" 

Daniel held up a pink round soft thing with a bunny face printed in it, grinning broadly. "I managed to snatch before someone else did. I was gonna give to Lee Woojin but if you need it more..." 

"Wait, what is it?" he said, taking it from Daniel and immediately cringing at how cold it was, "Why is it freezing?" 

Daniel just stared at him with the most exasperated expression on his face. 

Jisung laughed nervously. "Um, sorry, forgot about the whole don't-give-off-heat-anymore thing." 

"I've gotta go soon, so make up your mind if you want it or it's going to Woojin." 

"And if Woojin doesn't want it?" 

"Um... he'll definitely want it?" 

Jisung raised his eyebrows. 

"Um, I guess you can have it then." 

"Maybe I'll hang onto it anyway. I need some comfort. Plus, it's kind of cuddly. It'd be cuddlier if it wasn't freezing." 

"I can't control my body temperature!" 

"Yeah, yeah, yeah, sure, that's what they all say. You're just not willing to put in the effort." 

Daniel rolled his eyes, but before he had chance to say anything back, the staff told the 'Open Up' group to go backstage and get ready.

But as he left, he managed to shoot out, "Don't lose the plushie, I worked really hard to get it." 

"Wow, I'm glad you care about me so much and not at all about the plushie." 

Daniel didn't even reply to that, a grin spread wide across his face.

He looked around the room after Daniel left, maybe for someone else to talk to and possibly offer the comfort plushie when he noticed Daehwi. He was much quieter than usual, not even talking to his teammates right beside him. His head was bowed and his hands were trembling. 

Jisung managed to somehow get through the crowded mass of bodies over to him. As he sat down beside him, Daehwi didn't even acknowledge his presence. 

So he held out the plushie to him. "You want a comfort plushie?" 

Daehwi looked up, his eyes red-rimmed but his brows furrowed. "The what?"

"You look pretty down in the dumps, so maybe it'll make you feel better. Somehow. I dunno, Daniel had it so it's freezing."

Daehwi took it, and his brows pinched further. "Uh, it's not freezing, it's normal temperature, kind of wa..." His face fell. 

"Daniel forgot all the time at the start too," Jisung said softly. 

"Thank you," Daehwi mumbled, avoiding the comment entirely and staring down at the plushie in his pale arms. 

"You wanna talk about it?" 

Daehwi hesitated, opening his mouth, but then shook his head. 

"Wanna talk about something else instead?" 

A nod came in response. 

Jisung chewed on his lip. "Uh, how's Never going? Are you ready for the stage?" 

Daehwi's face lit up and he immediately ran with it. He talked non-stop about his preparation, what he liked about the song, how excited he'd been to meet Hyuna, how nice Hui and E'Dawn were, how glad he was that he was on the same team as Jonghyun and a million other aspects of the song that Jisung could never even have considered. Daniel had even come back about three-quarters of the way through, but sat next to Seongwoo, which was understandable considering that Daehwi seemed like he would never shut up. He began to zone out towards the end, trying to stay attentive and failing, resorting instead to just nodding whenever it seemed right. 

He was only snapped back to reality when he heard Daehwi whisper, "Hyung?" The tone had shifted and the atmosphere was suddenly uncomfortably heavy. 

"Yeah?" he replied, trying not to sound groggy. 

"They don't know yet, right? The Nation's Producers? About... about what happened to me?" 

Jisung hesitated before replying. "Maybe. They won't know for certain until next week. When the episode is out. But some of them might have already heard." 

Daehwi nodded, his hands shaking. "I'm just worried I'll slip up, somehow and they'll find out and they won't vote for me. Like if my eyes go red or something. Or my fa, um, my fangs slip out." 

"They'll vote for you anyway. You came in fourth last week. Those people aren't gonna abandon you solely because you're a vampire. And if they do, maybe it's better to lose them." 

Daehwi looked doubtful. "But Daniel..." 

"Daniel had terrible luck," Jisung said, turning to face Daehwi, "They found out too early. Before he had a chance to build up a solid fanbase. And he was already a vampire before it started so they assumed, probably, that he was an old vampire and you know what people think of older vampires, especially the ones who chose to be what they are. Just bad luck. But they care about you, Daehwi. They're gonna vote for you." 

"Are you sure?" Daehwi whispered, those big eyes staring up at him, something akin to hope blossoming in them, "I want to get into the final eleven. I don't want to be eliminated when we're so close." 

Jisung was so scared of putting false hope into Daehwi's heart. Daehwi didn't need to be let down again, he didn't need to have to suffer through another cruel blow and he didn't want to play any part in delivering it. So he stepped back. He doubted and in turn inflicted doubt. 

"I'm not sure, Daehwi. I just think so. I could be wrong." 

Daehwi's face crumpled and Jisung wished he'd kept his mouth shut. 

"Oh, okay," Daehwi said, his eyes wet and he was right back at the start. Jisung might as well have said nothing. 

He tried to tell himself that it was for the best. That it was better if Daehwi's expectations were surpassed than if he was let down. That he was just making sure that Daehwi didn't get hurt anymore than he already was. But it all rang hollow.

"Sorry." 

Daehwi just nodded and he stood up to leave with the rest of the team, handing Jisung the plushie wordlessly. He held onto it, despite how cold it was and stared up at the screen, hoping that he hadn't singehandedly fucked it all up. Hopefully he'd done something to cheer him up, if only a fraction. 

He couldn't read them on stage but then again, he could never read anyone when they were on stage. The masks slid on and they were all perfect idols, void of any emotion other than gratitude and joy. He tried to peek past Daehwi's mask, past the massive smile and eager confidence and he couldn't find anything but the idol. His answers were just perfect and rehearsed, so upbeat that it seemed almost like he hadn't been on the verge of tears a few minutes ago. 

The stage was just as perfect. He never once moved out of the persona of 'idol Daehwi' who was taking vampirism in his stride and never even doubted himself. And his performance was beyond perfect. His dance moves were sharper, more detailed, quicker, like he was mimicking Daniel in pushing dance to its limits but instead of being powerful and effortlessly charismatic, Daehwi was graceful and focused. If Daniel was fire, Daehwi was water. He'd known Daehwi was a good dancer, how could he not, but he'd never been so hypnotising in his dance skill as he now was. His voice served to compliment, to elevate the entire performance to a level that Jisung could only ever dream of reaching. 

It all ended much too fast, like he was only getting a snapshot when he wanted the full thing. He could've watched Daehwi dance like that forever, it was so spellbinding. He was just glad that his words and Daehwi's own insecurities hadn't taken a toll on his abilities. 

And when Daehwi sat back down next to him, his hands shaking and his eyes wide and hopeful and said, "Was that enough? Do you think they'll vote for me? Did I do it? Are you sure now?" 

Jisung could barely manage to push words out of his mouth. "Yeah, Daehwi. It was more than enough."

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> A lil bit of hope at the end to cheer you guys up :3   
> the next chapter is um a lot though so just reread that last line for comfort? XD


	29. XXVIII

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This chapter is... a lot, so buckle up xD   
> I had way too much fun writing it, so I hope you guys enjoy it too ^-^

Never won first, and with it, Daehwi claimed 100,000 points. 

Second to maybe Daniel's victory in the first round, Jisung wasn't sure he'd ever felt more overjoyed and relieved. Hopefully it would see him through to the final round, vampire or no. 

But with that wave of relief came fear to evaporate it. Daniel was sitting outside of the elimination mark. Only two seats, granted, but still outside. It didn't matter if it was two seats or twenty, he was still in the elimination zone. And Jisung had been hoping those 100,000 points would push him over the line. 

But Daniel never even seemed like he was afraid. He was the one who beamed the widest, who cheered the loudest, who hugged Daehwi the tightest (granted the others weren't allowed to hug him on Jonghyun's orders, just in case Daehwi ended up doing something he might regret). So Jisung didn't bring it up. He didn't want Daehwi overhearing and misinterpreting anyway.

But the gap between the Concept Evaluation and the elimination, left far too much time for talking. It felt like everyone was holding their breath, in preparation for the second-to-last elimination. The desperation of the first wasn't quite there, but there was an odd energy, an uncomfortable weight that everyone seemed to dance around. It wasn't helped by Daehwi's discomfort with his first obsession, vampires, leaving a hole in their conversations. 

Which was probably how the Gang(TM), with added bonus of Bae Jinyoung, dragged along by Jihoon, ended up in Daniel's room, without a whisper of conversation between them. 

It was getting very awkward, very quickly and Jinyoung looked like he wanted to leave. Which Jisung didn't blame him for. 

Samuel made the first attempt at conversation. "It's kind of weird to think we only have on Evaluation left. And then it's our version of IOI." 

"I didn't think I'd make it this far," Jinyoung mumbled.

Older Woojin nodded. "Same. I was sitting in 75th before the elimination so I was sure I was getting eliminated." 

"I would agree, but I haven't dropped out of the top eleven yet," Seongwoo said, cackling wildly and turning to Daehwi and Jihoon, "High five, top eleven squad." 

Daehwi high fived him but then dragged his hands down his face. "You've jinxed it now, Seongwoo, I'm so getting eliminated this time round." 

"I've been on the verge of elimination so many times now that I'm numb to it," Daniel said, leaning back on his palms, "If I do manage to get into the final eleven, I'll literally be eleventh."

Baby Woojin looked up at Daniel with the hero-worship that Jisung hadn't seen in quite a while. "You'll get into the final eleven for sure, hyung." 

Daniel grinned. "You better come with me. I need someone to help me deal with these dumbasses." 

"We only follow our leader, The Ultimate Dumbass," Jihoon said, grinning wickedly at Jisung. 

"I don't know why you're looking at me like that, I am the pinnacle of human genius," Jisung said as earnestly as possible. 

Older Woojin sniggered. "All hail The Ultimate Dumbass." 

Seongwoo even began bowing down and chanting, before Jisung kneed him in the butt. Seongwoo, naturally, fell to the ground, crying out in agony, as dramatically as possible, reaching out to Daniel to save him. Daniel was only too glad to join in, pleading tearfully for Seongwoo not to die. It was like something out of the bad historical k-dramas that had like a two hundred won budget. 

"Uh, I don't mean to interrupt but, uh, who do you guys want to get through to the final eleven?" Jinyoung said, suddenly piping up. 

Seongwoo and Daniel reluctantly, dramatically broke apart, looking as though they were actually considering the question. 

"Does it have to be someone outside this group or can it be anyone?" Samuel asked. 

"Anyone, I guess," Jinyoung said, shrugging. 

"Jihoon can go first because he's highest ranking," Daehwi said, and Jihoon glared, only to receive an innocent smile in return. 

"Fine, fine, fine," he mumbled and he hesitated for only a short while before answering, "Um... I'd like Park Woojin or Jinyoung to get through." 

"Only allowed one person," Seongwoo said in a sing-song voice. 

Jihoon grumbled about it but sighed deeply and just went with it anyway. "Okay, sorry Jinyoung, I'm going with Woojin." 

"Me: 1, Everyone else: 0," Woojin said, grinning much more broadly than what one vote deserved, considering no one else had even voted yet. 

Jinyoung went next. "Um, Jihoon." 

"Now I look really bad," Jihoon bemoaned, and Jinyoung just grinned broadly. 

Woojin followed. "Samuel. Sorry, Jihoon." 

"No, that's fine, now I look way better." 

Samuel chewed on his lip for a while before speaking. "Jisung." 

Jisung placed his hand on his heart. "You're warming my old heart." 

He appreciated it more than he could put into words, even if he was messing around. There was that feeling again, his heart swelling tenfold, a genuine smile creeping up onto his face, warmth blossoming in his chest. He still hated far too many parts of himself, still far too critical of every aspect of his being but that feeling gave him hope for the future. And as cruel as hope could be, he really needed it sometimes. Especially when he'd just fallen so far in the last elimination, especially when he'd lost in yet another Evaluation. It was such a small gesture, probably meaningless to Samuel, but it meant everything and more to Jisung. 

"Hyung, you're next," Baby Woojin said. 

"Yeah, gimme a sec," Jisung said, but he didn't need to think long. He'd made that promise to Daniel. He didn't intend on breaking it, not if he could help it. "Daniel." 

Baby Woojin nodded. "I'm going with Daniel too." 

"Wow, I seem so predictable now," Seongwoo said, pulling a face, "Daniel." 

Daniel's expression was strange. His eyes were crimson but not like the aggressive red that he saw so often -- the ruby red was warm and bright and full of life, and the corners of his lips were twisted upwards, but he was shaking his head. The red faded to the usual black so fast it was almost like it had never been there in the first place. 

"Guys, you're making this so hard on me," he said, his voice bordering on a whine, "But, um, I'm going with Jisung. Sorry Seongwoo and Woojin." 

Seongwoo slammed his hand to his heart, fake tears welling up in his eyes. "How could you?" 

Daniel just grinned. 

Everyone turned to Daehwi. He looked a little disappointed that no one had chosen him but not devastated. If he did feel that way, he hid it well.

"Um, I'd want Jonghyun to get in," he said, his voice bright. 

"None of us?" Daniel said, his hand on his heart. 

Daehwi stuck out his tongue. "None of you chose me so..." 

Daniel opened his mouth and closed it again. "Fair." 

"That's everyone, right?" Jisung said, clapping his hands together.

Everyone nodded. Then a long, awkward silence fell, punctuated by people opening their mouths and then abruptly closing them, as though unsure of how far their chosen topic would go. 

Jinyoung was the one to finally break it, eyes fixated on Daniel. "This is going to sound really weird and kind of rude but, um, like, is it just me who wonders what you looked like when you were human?" 

Jihoon's eyes darted between them, before lingering on Daehwi for a split second. "I mean, I think everyone wondered, right? Jonghyun is too old for us to know what he looked like before. And. Yeah. There's not many vampires young enough for us to see what they looked like before." 

Daniel blinked rapidly. "Um. I looked like I do now?" 

"No, not like that," Jinyoung said, exasperation leaking into his tone, "I mean like, in terms of like, I dunno skin tone." 

Daniel squinted at him. "Like, not like a corpse?" 

"Human Daniel is a weird thought, not gonna lie," Samuel muttered. 

"Thanks," Daniel muttered. 

"He means it as a compliment," Seongwoo said, grinning wickedly, moving to wrap his arms around Daniel, "What would we do without you being a vacuum of warmth?"

Daniel gave him a look. 

Even Daehwi seemed curious at this stage, like the idea of new mystery to chase down was brightening his spirits a little. 

"Wait, Jisung, you knew Daniel before he turned," Baby Woojin said, turning to him with wide eyes, "What was human Daniel like?" 

"Um," Jisung said, feeling an awful lot like he was being put on the spot. The stares weren't helping. He hadn't thought of human Daniel in so long. He'd grown so used to the vampire that the human seemed fuzzy and hazy, like a fading dream. 

"Warm? And like. Flushed. I dunno, what do you want me to say?" 

Older Woojin looked like he was in the middle of trying to solve an impossible puzzle. "Daniel being warm is, like, I dunno, I can't imagine it." 

"What, do you like the cold better?" Daniel said, grinning, slipping out of Seongwoo's grip to reach over to him.

Older Woojin shifted away rapidly, eyes huge. "Keep the ice fingers away from me, I'm already like freezing." 

Daniel cackled wickedly, grabbing onto Woojin's arm and earning a screech in response. 

"Warm, like how warm?" Baby Woojin said, who suddenly seemed extremely interested in the conversation.

Jisung pursed his lips. "Um, like permanent hot water bottle warm." He paused. "Um, he gave really good hugs because of it?"

Daniel whipped his head over. "Are you saying my hugs are shit now?" 

"Yeah," Jisung said, deadpan, "I hate them." 

"I object," Seongwoo said, holding up his finger, "As primary Daniel hugger, I believe they are superior. The cold makes them nice." 

"You're whipped, your opinion doesn't count," Samuel muttered. 

Seongwoo spluttered indignantly. 

"Do you have any photos?" Jinyoung said, leaning forward. 

"Um. Gimme a sec." 

Jisung pulled his phone out of his pocket, unlocking in one swift motion. He'd surely taken some selfies or something with Daniel when he was human. Surely. His eyes searched his gallery as he flicked through it, further and further back, trawling through its depths in search of a photo, any photo of Daniel before.

It felt like it took forever before he found one and the stares, contrary what the others seemed to believe, weren't making him go any faster. Daniel's was the worst, the strange mix of curiosity, fear and discomfort making his stomach churn. He was almost tempted to pretend he couldn't find one, just to break the gaze. But he swallowed and nodded anyway. 

He didn't even show them for a few moments, unable to tear his eyes from it. The Daniel staring out at him, eyes bright and crinkling at the edges, cheeks flushed and skin tawny, radiating that warmth he'd since lost. It made a shiver race down his spine and his stomach churn. The vampire version had grown more familiar, more comfortable over the last few months, so much so that the human one looked strange. 

He was only too glad to turn the phone away and pass it to Jinyoung, who took it with eager fingers. He stared at it for a few moments, blinking rapidly before Baby Woojin managed to grab it off him. Woojin glanced between Daniel and the photo over and over, his eyebrows pinching and frowning. 

"Human Daniel looks weird," he said at last, before handing the phone off to Samuel. 

"Yeah, I agree," Samuel said after a few moments, "You look better as a vampire." 

"I have literally no idea if that's a compliment or not," Daniel said, squinting at him. 

Samuel paused, passing off the phone. "Um, a compliment I think?" 

"You don't sound very certain," Daniel muttered before Older Woojin added to the conversation.

"I'm with Samuel," he said, handing the phone off to Jihoon, "You look really weird human." 

Baby Woojin only seemed too willing to leap to Daniel's defence, despite the fact he had dissed Human Daniel moments prior.

"I think it would've been nice to know Human Daniel anyway," he said brightly, staring at Jisung in a way that suggested he wanted to back him up. 

Daniel spoke before Jisung had a chance to put together some sort of defence, picking at his jumper. 

"Not really," he muttered, "Human Daniel was kind of a dick. I say that as former Human Daniel. I mean, I used um, y'know, that word, the shitty one for vampires like way too much and I once didn't even full on left this restaurant because a vampire was going to eat there. And like, she wasn't even doing anything I was just like, oh a vampire is in the restaurant? Guess I can't eat here anymore." 

The others stared at him, surprise splashed across their faces. 

"Oh," Baby Woojin said quietly. 

There was a long, uncomfortable silence, the stares at the phone suddenly looking a lot more uneasy.

Daniel seemed to have realised how awkward he'd made the whole thing. "Um, anyway, you guys are like overreacting, my skin colour is literally the only thing that changed."

"Um, no," Jisung said, raising his eyebrows, only too glad to help change the topic, "You had black hair. And all the acne scars and general scars and stuff are gone." 

Daniel rolled his eyes. "The black hair really changed everything, wow Jisung, you figured it out." 

"Wait," Jihoon said, eyes glinting with that all-too-familiar desire, "Being a vampire gets rid of scars? And acne?" 

Daniel blinked. "Um. I mean. I didn't really pay attention to that." 

Jihoon looked like he was deep in thought anyway. "Anything else about vampirism you can tell us?" 

"Um, don't eat food? I dunno, I've been a vampire for like four months, ask Jonghyun." 

Seongwoo interrupted with nothing of relevance to say. "Human Daniel looks fine, what were you guys even going on about?" 

Samuel shook his head mournfully. "Whipped." 

Daehwi peeked over into the phone in Seongwoo's hand. He stared at it for a while, glancing between Daniel and the phone, before his eyes darted down to his hands and he went paler than usual and he looked away. 

Part of Jisung was tempted to ask, but he wasn't sure if he wanted to know. And he didn't really want to ask Daehwi in front of everyone, in case it was something private. He could ask him later. 

"I'm not whipped!" Seongwoo all but screeched, breaking any melancholy silence that existed. 

Jisung was thankful but he would've preferred a solution that hadn't come at the price of his eardrums. 

"How are you not whipped?" Samuel said, leaning forward to stare at him. 

"Daniel's whipped for me," Seongwoo said, folding his arms. 

Older Woojin glanced over at Daniel, who made a tiny space between his index finger and thumb. "I confess, I'm a little whipped." 

"A little?" Seongwoo said, narrowing his eyes, before a mischevious grin crossed his face, "That's not what you said when we were shopping." 

Daniel's face went white. "You say anything and I will tear your throat out." 

"He has giant fangs, I can attest to that," Jisung said, very helpfully, because that was the kind of guy he was. 

"How is any of this relevant to my question on vampires?" Jihoon interrupted loudly. 

"I don't know what you want to know, Jihoon!" Daniel shot back, throwing his arms in his everything, "Besides, as I said, I'm--" 

"A baby vampire," Jisung supplied helpfully, "So he doesn't know jackshit about vampires." 

"Thanks Jisung," Daniel muttered. 

"No problem." 

"I thought you were a hunter beforehand," Jihoon said, raising his eyebrows. 

Daniel's expression darkened. "All that did was teach me how to kill vampires, not about them." 

"How do you even kill a vampire?" Baby Woojin said, frowning, "I mean, besides silver." 

"Why?" Jisung said, grinning, "You planning to get rid of Daniel? Sick of your mentor?" 

"No," Baby Woojin said, flushing red, "I'm just wondering." 

"Um," Daniel started, scratching the back of his head, "Um. I mean, don't go around killing vampires after this--"

"Drat, there go my summer plans," Older Woojin said, rolling his eyes. 

Daniel gave him a look, but continued anyway. "It's like. Pretty easy. A silver bullet to any vital organ or artery or any body part really, will do. Vampires can't really lose much blood, so you lodge the bullet inside them, so they can't heal, and then they'll just bleed out. I mean, you could do the same with a silver knife but vampires are usually too quick for that. Um. You can decapitate, because yeah, they -- I mean, we? I dunno -- won't heal from that. And then, like ash, hawthorne and oak all trigger like allergic reactions, almost? I dunno. But you can use them to kill a vampire too." There was a long pause. "I mean, if you're really fucked up, you can always just starve a vampire. Most won't last more than a month with blood. A newly turned vampire will only last a week. It's kind of what made the leech-lover turnings so fucked up. And why so few survived."

"That's... that's a lot of ways to kill a vampire," Daehwi said, eyes wide. 

Daniel shrugged, staring down at the floor. "Vampires aren't indestructible, even if a lot of people think they are." 

Baby Woojin nodded slowly. "My parents always said they were." 

"I thought we'd established your parents were wrong?" Jisung said, raising his eyebrow. 

Woojin flushed and smiled sheepishly. "I know but um. I was just saying."

"My parents just never talk about them so...," Jinyoung said, shrugging, fiddling with a stray chunk of wood hanging off the bedframe that looked unnervingly sharp, "Sorry for being, um, like curious about it." 

"The school system's failures strike again!" Seongwoo said, flinging his arms around in a vaguely celebratory gesture, "My parents just like, didn't really care. The woman who lived across us was a vampire, but she only talked to my parents once or twice." He paused, pursing his lips. "She seemed pretty nice though?" 

Just as Daehwi went to open his mouth, looking awfully eager to add to the conversation, almost like he'd regained that enthusiasm Jisung had missed so much, he suddenly froze, turning to look at Daniel. Daniel's brow furrowed for a few seconds but his eyes widened. 

Daniel stood up and stepped outside. "I'm gonna find Jonghyun, okay?" 

Daehwi nodded, his hands trembling and shrinking back into the corner. 

"What's wrong?" Jinyoung asked, his eyes darting to and fro. 

Daehwi took a deep breath. He turned to face them and the fear in his eyes made Jisung feel sick to his stomach. It was a while before he spoke, opening and closing his mouth over and over and over again, before he finally said, in a hushed voice that chilled Jisung to the core, "She's back." 

Jisung looked around at the others, his heart racing as he climbed to his feet. He didn't know where his phone was. He didn't bother to look for it.

"Someone call the police, I'm gonna go after Daniel." 

"What are you going to do?" 

He turned back to meet Woojin's eyes. And he had no answer. He had no plan. He had, quite frankly, no idea what he was doing. But he wasn't going to be useless. Not again. He'd find a way to do something, somehow, he just wanted to help, in any way he could. He left Woojin's question unanswered and just walked out the door, shutting it behind him. 

A girl was standing in the hallway in front of him, turned away. His heart froze. What the fuck was he supposed to do? What could he do? He couldn't take on a vampire. He had no weapons. He didn't have silver or ash or hawthorne or anything on him. He didn't even really know how to fight a vampire, no matter what Daniel had told him. He didn't even dare inhale in case she noticed him.

She noticed him anyway. Her head swiveled around and a giant grin split her face. She was rather plain-looking, forgettable, the type that would never stand out in a crowd. Except for the crimson eyes, burning bright under the harsh artificial lights, feverish excitement clouding them. Something Jisung couldn't quite make out glinted in her hand and her clothes looked exceptionally expensive -- he caught sight of a Chanel label on her bracelet. 

"Oh my gosh," she said, and her voice was unnervingly high-pitched and girlish, "You're Yoon Jisung! Can you give me an autograph? Is Daehwi here?" A giggle slipped from her lips. "I mean, I should really refer to him as progeny now -- I haven't gotten to see him up close as vampire" -- those crimson eyes flashed with anger and Jisung took a step back on instinct -- "they wouldn't let me in, but is he cute?" 

Every instinct in Jisung's body was screaming to bolt, to run away from something that clearly aspired to eat him. And he wouldn't even be able to put up a fight. She would tear him to shreds him in seconds. Maybe he'd be able to get a few hits in before she ripped his throat from his neck. He should've ran. It would've been the logical thing to do. It was the only thing he could do. 

But he didn't move. Maybe he could delay her or something, hold her up for long enough for Daniel and Jonghyun to get here, or the police. He couldn't let her have Daehwi. He wouldn't let her have Daehwi. Daehwi wasn't hers to claim. 

She was so close now that he could feel her breaths on his skin, those frantic eyes staring up at him. "Is he? Here, I mean, I want to meet him. I really would like him to get into IOI but I just wanna take him for a bit and I promise I'll have him back for the elimination, honest. I just -- y'know, he's my progeny and we have to like get to know each other --" 

"He's not here," Jisung blurted out, trying to inch away from her. 

She only shifted closer, eyes narrowing to slits. "Are you sure?"

He just nodded, his mouth dry and heart racing.

Her voice came out like a hiss, and she leaned even closer. "Because if you're fucking lying, I won't hesitate to rip your fucking throat out. He's mine, you realise that. He's fucking mine. I don't care how fucking funny you are on the show, I'm not letting you come between us." 

Jisung slammed his knee into her stomach and she stumbled back, eyes widening and bottom lip trembling. 

"Did you just--" she started, awe lacing her voice, "I can't believe -- Oh my god. All those rumours, I knew they were true, everyone was lying about how much they liked you, you're just sucking up to the trainees, I knew you were untalented and old and ugly and you've only made it this far because Mnet owns your company and I can't believe anyone let you near my progeny. You're a fucking asshole and I hope you die so you can go to hell sooner..." 

She paused, staring at him and his skin prickled. He stepped back, trying to move away from her uncomfortable clinginess, like she was trying to act as his second skin. 

"Wasn't there that episode where you were being a dick to Daehwi?" 

Jisung's mind was too clouded with fear to even comprehend what she was saying. 

Her upper lip curled. "There was, wasn't there?! You really are getting through this competition because of Mnet, because you're clearly a fucking dick. I can't believe anyone votes for you." Then those eyes flashed red, and she paused, upper lip curling. "Maybe I'll just send you to hell early." 

Her cold fingers wrapped around his throat before he had a chance to react, and it felt like the grip of death itself. His hands flew to his neck and he began tearing desperately at her vice-like grip, but as much as he struggled and fought and pushed she never so much relented. He couldn't breathe. He gasped for air and nothing came and he kept gasping, his eyes watering, the edges of his vision blurring, he couldn't breathe, he couldn't see straight, he couldn't think, black spots were appearing in his vision, he couldn't breathe this was it he was going to die he was going to die it was going black all he could see was the dark and her smile and this was it and hecouldntbreathehewasgoingtodiehewasgoingtodiehecouldnt--

Suddenly the hand was gone and his legs collapsed from underneath him and he began gulping for air on all fours and oxygen aad never tasted so good. He was coughing and wheezing and gasping but at least he was breathing. His vision cleared slowly, in splotched and patches. All he could think about, in his half-delirious state was his voice, what if she'd injured his voice-box, he needed to sing to get into the second IOI, he couldn't afford to have his voice injured, he couldn't, he needed it, please, he needed his voice, he had to sing -- 

A cold hand touched his shoulder and he flinched away from it, scared she had managed to overpower whoever had come to the rescue but Daniel's face came into view and he had never been more glad to see it than in that moment. 

"You okay?" 

Jisung nodded, letting out another throaty cough. He was about to reply when he saw the vampire rise to her feet behind Daniel. 

"Daniel --" he wheezed out, collapsing into another fit of coughs. 

Daniel's eyes widened and he spun on his heel to a glinting slash from the girl. His arm moved up to defend his face, a millisecond before the weapon came into contact with it. 

Dark red blood, verging on black, dripped to the floor. And it kept dripping. Jisung looked up at Daniel's arm, through watery eyes, to find it wasn't healing. It just kept bleeding, the unnaturally dark blood oozing sluggishly from the wound. His eyes went to the weapon in her hand. The glinting. 

Silver. 

"Where is he?!" she screeched, her face contorting from that girlish innocence to something monstrous. A demon would've made for less terrifying opponent, with all her frenzied blood red eyes and keen, long fangs, with none of the softness that made those features almost banal on Daniel and Daehwi. 

Jisung didn't even register what she'd said. He looked up at Daniel, who stood there in utter shock, unmoving, staring blankly at her. 

"Are you fucking deaf?!" she said, her voice so loud and high-pitched that he thought his eardrums would burst, "Where is he?! Where's my progeny?!" 

She raised her arm for a second swing. Jisung's mind raced. Daniel couldn't lose too much blood, he couldn't produce enough of his own, a second slice could be the one that killed him, what if she went for the head and he moved without thinking. He threw his body against Daniel with all his might.

He wasn't sure if it was because Daniel was in shock or because he'd given everything he had into that one push, but Daniel went tumbling to the ground. The knife cut through air, right were Daniel's face had been mere seconds ago. 

The vampire stepped over him and he didn't even have the chance to think why. She was speaking but her voice sounded distant and unintelligible. Another painful cough burst from his lips. 

"Are you okay?" he wheezed. 

Daniel looked up at him with crimson eyes and he had to restrain himself from flinching back. He was cradling his bleeding arm, still looking like he wasn't quite present in the moment. His eyes were focused on something behind Jisung. 

"Daehwi --" 

Jisung remembered why they were doing all this crazy shit and clambered clumsily to his feet. His heart was racing, and his breath was still coming out in pants and wheezes but he had to do something, even if he had no idea what.

The door to the dorm was open and the voices and screams and yells were deafening, all mixing and combining with each so that Jisung had no idea whose was whose. He stumbled into the room, half-expecting to see someone bleeding out on the floor. 

The scene that greeted him was not an optimistic one. She had one hand wrapped around Daehwi's wrist and the knife pressed against Seongwoo's throat, who was stood in front of Daehwi, pressed into the corner. Samuel had Jisung's phone in one hand a few steps away from them, Jinyoung was screaming into it while Samuel stood, open-mouthed and Jihoon and Park Woojin were grabbing at her, trying to pull her away to no avail. Lee Woojin was nowhere to be seen. 

Daehwi was screaming at the top of his lungs, bloody tears pouring from his eyes as he tried to rip her fingers from her wrist. "Please, please, just leave me alone, please, I don't want to go with you, just leave me alone --" 

Before anyone had a chance to react, the vampire switched her grip from Daehwi's wrist to Seongwoo's and pulled him in tight to her, her blade digging so deep into his throat that blood trickled from his neck. Jihoon and Woojin went tumbling backwards. 

Daehwi's eyes flushed red and his pupils blew huge and he turned away, his hand clamped over his mouth. 

"If you don't come with me, I'll kill him," she snarled, eyes flashing, "You're my progeny. You're meant to love me. You're meant to come with me!" 

Jisung's throat went dry. His eyes flitted back to Jinyoung and Samuel. The police were on their way. Hopefully. All he had to do was buy Seongwoo and Daehwi some time. And make sure one wasn't killed and the other wasn't kidnapped. 

"I'm not afraid, don't worry, Daehwi, just r--" Seongwoo's voice was cut off by the blade pressing down on his throat again.

There had to be something somewhere he could use to get some sort of edge over her before it all went to shit and they were all killed or worse. He searched the room as desperately and discreetly as he could, his heart hammering in his ears. 

Her girlish voice rose up again. "You're not afraid?" She giggled. "I don't just have to kill you, y'know. If you're not afraid of him dying, Daehwi, I can do worse. Seongwoo-oppa is really handsome, I think no one would protest if I made sure that face never had to get all shrivelled and wrinkly. I mean, why do I only need one progeny?" 

The sound of tearing made Jisung look back to them. Her arm was dripping blood, and it was pressed to Seongwoo's mouth, angled so that it was covering his nose as well. Shit. Shit. Seongwoo couldn't hold his breath forever. 

His eyes moved over to the bed. The chunk of wood Jinyoung had been messing with.

"No, no, wait!" Daehwi said, his voice still watery, "I'll go with you, I promise, please don't do anything to Seongwoo." 

There was a momentary silence. "You're not lying? Because if you're lying, I'm coming back for someone else." 

Daehwi shook his head rapidly, chest heaving. 

She paused, eyes fixed on Seongwoo. "I mean, will anyone really protest if I make Seonghwa-oppa a vampire? He'll be sooo much prettier that way. And maybe he'll eat some of you assholes for me." 

Jisung grabbed the piece of wood and pulled. 

Seongwoo inhaled. 

He dove for Daehwi, the wood slippery in his sweating palms and climbed to his feet as fast he could. Wrapping one arm around Daehwi's waist, he angled the pointed side of wood towards Daehwi's neck. 

Seongwoo's mouth was covered in the wine red of the vampire's blood, and her fangs were just about to pierce his skin. Her eyes locked with his and she froze. 

"Hyung?" Daehwi all but whimpered. 

Jisung wanted to reassure him, to tell him he was just bluffing, to play along, so they could hold this up for long for the police to get here, without any turnings or kidnappings. But he couldn't risk Daehwi giving something away. Or the vampire hearing his whisper. The officer had been able to pick up scents that were days old, he could only imagine what a vampire with enhanced hearing could hear. He couldn't take that risk. 

Her eyes went all huge before they narrowed. "You can't kill him with ordinary wood. And you can't decapitate him with that either." 

Jisung clenched his jaw and met her gaze unflinchingly. "How do you know it's ordinary wood?" 

She gave him a look. "I'm not stupid. I'm older than most of you. You really think I'm going to believe that the bed just so happens to be made of ash, oak or hawthorne?" 

"Are you willing to take to that risk?" 

A hesitation. Her grip on Seongwoo seemed to ease. "You're not going to kill him. You're an ugly asshole but you like Daehwi, I've seen you on TV -- " 

"Didn't you admit I'd been a dick to him? This isn't much farther, right?" 

With wide eyes, she raised her head from Seongwoo's neck. "Y-you couldn't. You couldn't kill him. You're bluffing." 

Jisung moved the wood closer to Daehwi's neck without actually touching it. His eyes flitted over to Jihoon and Woojin, who were frozen to the spot. He tried to gesture towards her with just his eyes. They had a chance to take her down now, while she was off-guard and they had better act fast because he had no idea how long he could keep the bluff up, especially when Daehwi was squirming so much. His grip might not hold if Daehwi tried to make a break for it. 

At least one of them had to have gotten the message. 

There was silence for a few moments. Her grip loosened on Seongwoo. "Okay. I just... you can have Seongwoo-oppa. I just want Daehwi. He's my progeny." 

"Let go of Seongwoo then." The stake came even closer to Daehwi's neck and he squirmed in Jisung's arms again, whimpering. 

She clenched her jaw and slowly let go of Seongwoo, who collapsed from her grip, a thin red line marking where her knife had been. 

Right then, the wood touched off Daehwi's skin. Daehwi didn't react. 

Her eyes narrowed. She bent her knees, preparing to pounce. 

His heart stopped. He had no hope of fighting her off. No sirens outside yet.

Suddenly, she was thrown to the side. 

Jihoon and Woojin had finally managed to realise what was going on. The two of them were pushing her down, with all their strength -- which considering how small the two of them were, probably wasn't much. Still no sirens. How long would their hold last?

He let go of Daehwi, who turned him with wide eyes, looking ready to bite his face off but he just ignored him. If Daehwi had begun talking, he hadn't even noticed. His eyes were focused on Jihoon and Woojin. 

She was already beginning to weaken their hold, struggling desperately. Jihoon's grip slackened for just the barest of moments and she shoved him off. It looked as though she was going to shove off Woojin next, and he would not be able to fend her off for very long, considering it was just him now. 

And Jisung had no idea what to do if she did manage to break free. His only idea was used up and she'd figured out the wood was harmless. He was out of options. He had to think of something else, and fast, but his mind was pulling up blanks. 

It wasn't for several moments that he noticed another pair of hands pressing the vampire down. He followed the arms up to find Daniel half-smiling at him, his arm wrapped in what looked like bandages, at least from afar, which were still staining a blackish-red. 

At the same moment, Lee Woojin came back with Jonghyun. He moved instantly to join Daniel in helping hold her down. 

"It's okay, Woojin, we can hold her down," Jonghyun said, smiling over at him,"It might be for the best if you did step back. She might try and injure you somehow."

Park Woojin reluctantly stepped back, but not before stamping on her hand to force her to let go on the knife. He kicked it out of her reach. 

The vampire froze, eyes wide, as though she couldn't quite believe she'd been overpowered. Her breath came out in hitches and shakes, her body trembling. 

Then she did the last thing Jisung expected: she burst into tears. Big, heaving, squalling sobs. 

"Please," she blubbered, through her sobs, "I just wanted to know him, I wanted a friend so bad and Daehwi seemed so sweet and cute, and I haven't had one in so long, I just wanted him to love me, I know everything about Daehwi, I love him, I didn't mean to hurt him, please, I just want him to love me--" 

A wave of disgust travelled through Jisung's body, bile rising in his throat. How low did one have to stoop to beg someone, that they'd never met, to claim to love them after possibly ruining their chances of achieving their dream? Jisung was about to reply, ready to spit venom when Daehwi cut him off. 

"What?" Daehwi said, his voice low, and Jisung turned to see crimson eyes cut into slits, "You didn't mean to hurt me?" 

The vampire did her best to nod under the restraints of the two, the girlish wide-eyed innocent look returning. Crimson tears were rolling down her cheeks. "I made you sure your turning was so soft so it barely hurt. I really really love you, I just want to be with you, I never wanted to hurt you, honestly, I love you so much--" 

"Did you ever think about what I wanted, when you were considering how not to hurt me?" 

The girl blinked rapidly. "W-what? I don't understand, why wouldn't you want to be a vampire? You get to keep your looks and you get to live forever and you get to be better than a human in basically every way possible--" 

Daniel's grip on her tightened and his jaw clenched. 

"Did you forget something?" Daehwi snarled, "I'm only seventeen. I'm stuck being seventeen forever. I don't get to be an adult, ever. Why would you take that from me?" 

She opened her mouth but Daehwi didn't give her a chance to speak. 

"And those reasons you gave, they're your reasons. Not mine. Maybe I don't want to live forever. Maybe I like -- liked being alive. Maybe I don't like drinking human blood. Maybe I prefer not thinking about how tasty my friends smell when one of them cuts themself." 

The vampire shook her head. "No, you're only thinking of the b--" 

"Maybe I would've liked some say in the matter and I might've had a more positive outlook on it." 

She fell silent for a moment, jaw hanging open. "It was meant to be a gift -- Why wouldn't you -- I just thought that you'd --" 

"Don' lie. You never thought about me. You only thought about yourself. You only thought about the me that you owned, the Daehwi you had in your head, that doesn't exist. You love the idea of me, not the real thing." 

"No, no, no, I did, I love you, I really love you, please, I thought about you, I always did --" 

Daehwi crouched down in front of her, his eyes burning crimson and filled so much loathing that it made Jisung want to look away. 

"I hate you. I hate you with ever fibre of my being because of what you did to me. I hate that you made me afraid of going anywhere alone, that you made me constantly look over my shoulder, that you made me afraid to turn off the lights because I thought that you'd be there, watching me and taking photos and taking my stuff and eventually someday coming to take me. I hate that you invaded my space, that stepped inside my boundaries in the most personal way and turned me into a vampire without ever considering what I wanted. I hate that you thought about doing the same thing to one of my friends. And I hate that you're convinced it's all okay because you love me." 

Her lower lip trembled again and her eyes glistened with tears and Daehwi's mouth twisted into a snarl. 

"No, not a chance. You don't get to cry. It's your own fault that I hate you. Don't you dare play the victim." 

Jisung finally heard the sirens outside. 

"I hope you rot in prison for a very long time." 

The sound of footsteps was growing louder. 

The vampire looked like she wanted to say something more, to plead her futile case, but the police burst into the room. 

Kyung stepped out from the group, looking slightly surprised, his expressions still miniscule. "I expected there to be a lot more blood and far more corpses." 

Seongwoo spoke up. Jisung had almost forgotten he was there. "That's all thanks to Jisung, sir," he said, a smile wide on his blood-stained lips. 

"I mean, it was really thanks to Daniel and Jonghyun," Jisung said quickly, "They held her down until you guys got here." 

The two vampires shifted to let one of the police officers snap handcuffs, lined on the inside with some sort of wood, around her wrists. The wince indicated the wood was probably one of the three Daniel had mentioned earlier. She was dragged off, still sobbing and snarling, tears flowing down her cheeks like rivers of blood. Jisung just looked away. 

Daehwi shook beside him, and before Jisung could even realise what was happening, Daehwi had buried his head in his chest. He froze, for a few seconds, but pushed his fear and uncertainty aside and wrapped his arms around him. The cold still made the hairs on the back of his neck stand on end, but he ignored it, pulling Daehwi into a tight hug. 

"It's over," he said, in a hushed voice, trying to believe it himself, "She's gone. She can't hurt you anymore." 

Daehwi's response was to burst into wet sobs. "I -- I feel like I shouldn't have been so harsh, like, she just wanted a friend, she was a fan, I'm meant to be nice to fans, what if--" 

"No. Daehwi, don't you dare have sympathy for her. She wasn't a fan, she was a stalker. She's a messed-up person, who looks at the world in a messed-up way. She turned you and thought you should thank her for it, for God's sake, and she was going to do the same to Seongwoo." 

"Still," Daehwi mumbled, "I don't know, I just feel bad. I've never been so mean before. I was just so angry and --" 

"And you had every reason to be. She invaded your boundaries, remember? She made everyone paranoid. Just because she cried, doesn't mean she deserves any forgiveness." He lifted Daehwi's tear-stained face up to meet his eyes. "Promise me you aren't gonna feel guilty about this. And if you do, talk to me or Jonghyun or one of the others about it. Don't you dare feel any ounce of pity for her. She sure as hell didn't pity you."

Daehwi nodded reluctantly, rubbing the blood tears away with his sleeve. "I-I'll try. I promise." He hesitated. "Thanks, hyung. I might talk to Jonghyun. Just to, y'know." 

Jisung nodded. Jonghyun would probably be better equipped to deal with this anyway. He really wanted to help himself, to say something else that was comforting and cheesy and perfect. But sometimes helping meant stepping back and letting those who knew more take care of it.

He needed a few moments alone himself anyway. His mind was swirling with a million thoughts and he was still racing to keep up. He couldn't really believe what had just happened. Even as Kyung and the other police began asking questions and the vampire was dragged back to the car and Seongwoo sat with his back against the wall, looking shell-shocked, the dark red still staining his lips and Daniel was getting his arm attended to by some of the medics, the wound still pulsing out blood lazily, and the piece of wood lay forgotten on the ground near them. It all felt like a strange dream, surreal and imaginary, as though he'd awake any moment now to find it had all never happened.

How had they managed to defeat her? To fight off someone that crazy, who was that much quicker and stronger than either of the two vampires they knew? He kept waiting for it to clear away, to reveal that it was some strange hallucination and she'd actually turned Seongwoo and run away with Daehwi and killed Daniel. But he only saw it in his mind's eye, blurry and false, and the reality was right in front of him, clear as day. Somehow, they'd won. Somehow, she hadn't caused any more harm than she'd already inflicted. 

"You okay?" 

Jisung almost jumped six feet in the air. He half-turned to see Daniel, new bandages replacing the old ones, and no blood stains on them. 

"Yeah. Just a little shocked," Jisung said, "What about you?" 

"Yeah, I'm good. A little light-headed because of blood loss but they gave me free blood, so I'm good." Daniel hesitated. "You sure you're okay?" 

Jisung paused. He'd promised Daniel. He said he wouldn't bottle it up anymore. Was he really okay? He was a little shocked, sure, but he didn't think he was hurting. Not as far is he could tell. So he nodded and grinned broadly at Daniel. 

"Yeah, I think I am. Just shocked. Didn't expect us to actually get her arrested without anyone else getting injured." 

"I thought we would be able to take her, easy, at the start." Daniel laughed weakly. "I know, I know it was dumb but I dunno, the whole vampire thing kinda got to me. I thought I was invincible. Especially after the thing where I broke my leg. Forgot about all the weaknesses I used to exploit." 

Jisung just nodded, unsure of how to reply to that. Daniel continued anyway, so he didn't have to. 

"Thank you." 

He looked up, surprised. "For what?" 

"Not letting Seongwoo get turned." 

The smile that spread across Jisung's face was a weird one. It lingered somewhere between incredulous and uncomfortable. He wore it anyway. "I wasn't going to let a psycho stalker turn him, don't worry. Not if I could help it." 

Daniel looked down but he could see the pink colouring his cheeks. "Yeah, yeah, I know. I just didn't want anyone else getting turned. Not against their will. Me and Daehwi was enough." 

Jisung's eyes travelled towards where Daehwi and Jonghyun were talking, Daehwi looking like he was about to cry again, even with the warm smile and words of Jonghyun. 

"I think I'm the last person you need to say that to." 

"Yeah. Yeah. Of course. Sorry."

Jisung just smiled tiredly at him. He didn't really want to talk about stuff like this any longer. He was too exhausted for it. He just wanted to go back to how it had been in the moments before she'd come. 

So he narrowed his eyes at Daniel. "Wait, where did you get the bandages?" 

"The medic gave them... to me?"

Jisung waved his hand dismissively. "I mean the ones you were wearing when you helped Jonghyun hold her down. The first aid kit is all the way at the other side of the building and as fast as you are, you wouldn't have gotten there on time and back and bandaged your arm, considering you looked like you were in shock when I left you." 

Daniel was avoiding his gaze, that pastel pink returning to his cheeks. "Uh, they weren't bandages." 

Jisung raised his eyebrows. 

"I, uh, used toilet paper. I had to use like a lot though." 

"Nice," Jisung said, rolling his eyes, "What are we meant to wipe our butts with?"

"Shut up, I didn't want to bleed down the corridor."

"I'm glad to know that cleanliness was your top priority while you were bleeding to death and not your own life." 

Daniel kicked him in the shin and Jisung bit his lip to stop himself from crying out in pain, eyes watering. 

"Please stop doing that," he whimpered, "My shin is not able to deal with your freakish vampire strength." 

Daniel winced. "Sorry. I forgot." He paused for a few moments and his voice came out far more grave. "I didn't want to go hunting for bandages because I was afraid that I'd be too late. And you'd all be injured or dead or... worse and Daehwi would be gone." 

A silence rose, heavy and pondering. 

"I know," Jisung said, his voice low and shaky, even to his own ears, "I'm so glad you did. I don't know what I'd have done if you hadn't come. Died, probably." He laughed weakly. 

Daniel didn't laugh. His half-hearted smile slipped off his smile and he stared into the abyss, the black of night, and Jisung was, for once, glad he had no idea what was going through Daniel's mind.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Yay for everyone saving the dayyyyy :33333   
> The next chapter is much calmer than this one, this is kind of the craziest one in the entire fic xD   
> It took a few rewrites to get it right but I actually really liked how it came out for the most part so I hope you guys liked it :3


	30. XXIV

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Second last elimination T-T I kind of can't believe how little is left, not gonna lie. Only the debut evaluation and then we're done. Wow. Um, anyway, I hope you enjoy the chapter and get ready for a few surprises ;)

Second last elimination. He was so close he could taste it. Two more eliminations and he'd be in the final eleven. He just had to survive two more. Just two more.

It still felt fake. Like a dream he was just waiting to wake up from. He should've been eliminated earlier on. He'd seen so many leave, who were much more talented than he was, who were much more deserving -- he'd promised himself not to think like that anymore but it was true and he knew it deep down -- who had so much more potential. 

But the National Producers had chosen and they'd chosen him, for some reason. All he could do was not disappoint. Do his best. Entertain and hope it was enough. He needed this. More than that, he wanted this. He had to survive. 

The nervous energy that came with every elimination was dulled by the exhaustion of the past few days. The fear of the saesang felt so much more visceral, so much more real, wild tigers in comparison to rogue housecats. The elimination felt flimsy by comparison. Yeah, their careers were on the line, but when they'd nearly been killed a few days ago, it didn't feel like much was at stake anymore. That wicked bite feel less potent than ever.

So even as that usual fear buried itself in his chest, its grip was less vice-like and more of a loose hold. 

A glance around at the others told him they were in the same position. Daehwi stared absently up at the throne at the top, Daniel's eyelids were drooping, Seongwoo was unnervingly silent between the loud chatter of Seonho and Keonhee, and Jonghyun was only talking to the other NU'EST members in small, quiet bursts. Those were only the ones he spotted immediately. 

Before he had a chance to read everyone's reaction, BoA walked on stage and the hum of conversation turned into roar of applause. He could see some of the other trainees doing his clap near him but he couldn't find the energy to join in. 

"Everyone, the day has arrived. Today's the day of Produce 101's 3rd Ranking Evaluation." 

The thirty-five trainees fell silent. He heard an audible swallow from nearby.

"This is the last ranking evaluation to finalize which trainees are on the verge of debut." 

The tension filled the air like a foul stench. Everyone wanted to get through. Everyone wanted to get into the top eleven. Their exhaustion wouldn't affect that. Jisung couldn't help but look towards the throne, towards the number one spot that would forever elude him, that demanded he recognise his own inferiority and yet, he still wanted it. He still wanted to be up there, at the top, the best of a 101 trainees. The impossibility of it didn't escape him and he wanted it anyway.

"Before that, how many trainees will survive this ranking evaluation and made it to be the Debut Evaluation?"

Something cold snaked into his grip, cotton brushing his skin, and he glanced over at it to see Daniel's hand, bandage and all, clasping onto his. 22nd. Right on the edge for Season 1. The last position. He squeezed Daniel's hand as reassuringly as he could. 

The silence lingered for longer than was comfortable. BoA's eyes searched through them the entire time. Finally, she looked down at her cue card. 

"20 trainees." 

The whispers picked up again. Daniel's hand slackened in his grip. Jisung looked over to him to find a pained smile. 

"Always just outside it, huh, hyung?" 

"Only two places to rise this time," Jisung said, his eyes travelling to the twentieth seat, "You've already pulled off a thirty-eight place rise. You can afford two more." 

If Daniel was sceptical, he didn't say anything about it. He just looked back to BoA. 

"From 21st to 35th will be eliminated." 

He was safe. 15th was safe. But five places wasn't that big of a fall. And Show Time hadn't exactly gotten that many votes. He didn't want to fall. Not again. He had to be in the top eleven going in. He wouldn't be able to pull his way back up for the finale. He knew he wouldn't. He was already working on so little support as it was, he couldn't afford to risk convincing the audience he was hopeless.

"The total votes for the 3rd Ranking Evaluation is 8,407,307 votes." 

Less than the 50 million of the previous round. He'd kind of expected it. They'd only had a week or two to vote this time around. And could only vote for two trainees. He tried not to think about that. He doubted he'd be many people's first or second choice. It just made him wonder how few votes would there be for the final round? How much would be between 11th and 12th?

"The final survivor, 20th, will be revealed after the revealing of first place. The borderline survivors, 19th to the 16th, will be revealed now." 

Jisung's heart seized. He couldn't be one of them. Please. He wanted to be close, close enough that the audience wouldn't doubt his position in the final eleven, that they could see him as one of the final members of the second IOI. He couldn't be the trainee who got third once early on and never reached the same heights again. He almost wished he hadn't peaked so early, that it had come later, when it was more pivotal, not in the early rounds when it meant so little.

Daniel's eyes kept flicking to the throne. Jisung almost wished that that ambition and hope could wither up, just a little, so that he couldn't be inevitably disappointed. He was sitting in 22nd. He couldn't look towards first without being sure of his position in the next round. And Daniel had never even been in the top eleven. He certainly wasn't going to snatch first out of nowhere. But Jisung didn't say anything. He didn't dare. He'd already destroyed Daehwi's ambitions earlier and he felt shitty enough from that. 

"The 19th rank..." 

A part of him, the part that just wanted to survive, that knew rationally he couldn't hope to return to the top eleven, not now, not ever, wanted his name to be called. 19th was safe. It was worry-free. It was over and done with quickly and you could sit back and feel reassured. 

For a few moments. And the next elimination loomed over and he wouldn't be safe. He wanted to be safe in the next round too. Not just this one. 

"During the Concept Evaluation, he had vocal part and showed his full capabilities..." 

Daniel moved beside him and Jisung's head followed. Lee Woojin. 26th. Maybe, just maybe, he'd managed to jump upwards. If not for Woojin's sake, maybe for Daniel's. He had to go up. He was too talented to be wasted. He couldn't be eliminated, not now. Not when they were so close.

"With a 196,223 votes, Starship's Jung Sewoon." 

A round of applause. Jisung wished it had been his name instead. Or Woojin's. But some part of him was glad it wasn't his. He would've gotten eliminated for sure in the next round. 19th would have to rise 8 places just to scrape in. The longer it took for his name to be called, the better. He pushed 20th out of his mind. 

"Next, the 18th ranked trainee. With 197,194 votes..." 

So close. Less than a 1000 votes apart. The massive jumps of the last round seemed like a fading daydream. Every vote counted now. 

His eyes darted back to Woojin, who was gripping Daniel's other hand, shaking like a leaf. His smile looked like it was barely attached on, a sign about to fall off a rusting door.

"If this is isn't me, I'm not going to get into the next round," he said.

Daniel didn't reply for a while. "This one will be yours. It has to be. They can't eliminate you." 

Woojin just looked at Daniel and didn't reply. Jisung couldn't quite believe Daniel's words either. The National Producers had eliminated better. 

"Cre.ker trainee, Joo Haknyeon." 

Haknyeon stood up from beside Woojin, his smile shaky. Down eight places, going into the final round. Jisung had no idea what he'd do in that position. Especially since Haknyeon had been in the top eleven the whole way up. That wouldn't be easy to carry into the final Evaluation. 

Woojin looked like he was ready to burst into tears, his cheery smile looking even more out of place alongside the devastation in his eyes.

Daniel opened his mouth and closed it again, before looking away from the maknae and back up to the stage. 

"Next, the 17th rank. Once again, it's an unexpected situation, a trainee who's name was called in the previous Top 11."

Everyone's eyes travelled to Daehwi. It was the obvious answer. Who else would fall so far but the trainee who'd just turned into the very thing the audience seemed to detest? Daniel had almost gotten eliminated when he'd been found out to be a vampire. If Daehwi actually managed to get through it would be a miracle, 100,000 votes or no. 

Daehwi's face was leeched of what little colour remained in it, staring intensely at the 17th seat. He knew too. 

"With 197,721 votes, Brand New Music's..." 

Daehwi looked ready to stand up. The whispers of Daehwi grew louder and his face grew more and more stony and distant, until he looked like a marble statue. 

"Im Youngmin." 

Confusion rippled through the trainees like a wave. Daehwi's eyebrows pulled together. He reached out to Youngmin as he walked past like a man in haze, his attempt at a comforting arm gesture vague almost too late. 

It was meant to be Daehwi. Daehwi was the obvious one, the audience was going to drop him, after all, they'd done the same to Daniel. If his name wasn't called out now, that was it. He was eliminated. First centre and not even in the debut evaluation. 

"16th rank, with 209,168 votes." 

Almost his rank now. He had to pass it, even just a little. That meant the audience was voting for him. It meant they wanted to see him again. It meant he had a chance. Top eleven was too high, maybe. He could settle for just rising a spot. Even if it was just one. 

"Cube trainee, Yoo Seonho." 

Two more spots. He just had to hope his name wasn't either of the next two. That was all. Two more spots. 

But the fact that it was yet another fall made him sick to his stomach. What if he'd fallen so far he'd been eliminated? Youngmin had fallen 12 places so it wasn't impossible. He could easily drop out of the 20 who were allowed into the next round. The only rise had been Sewoon's. And Sewoon was an amazing vocalist. Jisung wasn't. 

"Next we will reveal the trainees that are closest to the debut positions, the trainees at 15th to 12th place." 

He glanced over at Daniel, who was squeezing his hand so tightly it hurt. His stomach dropped. He'd forgotten. He'd been so caught up in his own rise that he'd forgotten that Daniel was sitting outside the elimination mark. 

"Daniel, my hand," he whispered. 

The grip slackened but his hand simply shook instead. "I can't have risen this much, hyung." 

"You managed to get through the last few rounds. You'll get through this one." But he didn't dare promise. Just in case. He couldn't let that promise break either. The first one he made was looking increasingly fragile. 

"Just barely. Maybe my luck's run out." 

"You're gonna get through because you need to be number one. You're one of the best here. You're gonna get through." 

The silence answered for Daniel.

"The 15th rank. If he remained in his previous ranking, he would be in a situation critical." 

Daniel's head snapped up. Jisung almost dared to hope. Daniel could rise seven places, right? Surely. He'd risen more in less time. But the audience had had eleven votes then. They only had two now. Would they be willing to choose him?

"With 217,734 votes, Pledis trainee, Choi Minki." 

Daniel sat back, his shoulders slumped. Jisung tried to think of the fourteen spots left. Daniel still had a chance, right? He could get through yet. He'd risen higher before. He could get through.

But Minki in fifteenth meant something else. It meant that maybe, just maybe, Jisung had risen. That maybe the audience liked him enough to push him upwards. That maybe he had a shot. Just one more spot. One more. 

"Next, 14th place. In the 'Oh Little Girl' team, he was a trainee that potrayed the Handsome Boy concept well." 

Daniel's grip on his hand slackened further, until it was only Jisung holding onto it and Daniel's hand was just resting in his grip. Thirteen places left. A jump to thirteenth would only be nine places. It was manageable. Daniel could do it.

He tried not to think too hard about himself. Not about how big his drop had been last week. Not about how it would only be six places and he'd be eliminated. Not about Youngmin's massive fall. Not about the impending finale, and how much he needed to be in that final eleven.

"With 254,984 votes, Yuehua's Ahn Hyeongseob." 

Another rise. He'd expected Hyeongseob to get in, over Euiwoong. Euiwoong was in 23rd. But he couldn't bring himself to think that Euiwoong's rise was impossible, that he was definitely facing elimination, not Daniel was only one rank above him. He had to hold onto hope, no matter how much its thorns cut his hand.

And still, he couldn't help but wonder who'd been pushed down for Hyeongseob's four places.

"In 13th place, this trainee is active in the 'Never' team." 

No one even glanced at Daehwi this time. Thirteenth was too high, after all. Jisung's eyes travelled over to him only to find him in the same position as before, tense and immobile, eyes now locked on the 20th seat. 

"It's too high," Daniel whispered beside him and he was wearing a similar expression to Daehwi's, face as white as chalk, "I've been eliminated, for sure. I can't have risen that much." 

Jisung couldn't even find it in himself to reply. He couldn't comfort Daniel when he was thinking the same thing about himself. 

"With 259,776 votes, individual trainee, Kim Jaehwan." 

A shocked silence followed. No one had thought Jaehwan would drop, especially not after a stage as amazing as Never, not when he'd showcased his insane vocals once more. It felt like a strange trick Mnet was playing on them. Like they'd turn around in a few seconds and reveal they were faking. But BoA wasn't correcting herself and Jaehwan was walking up onto to the stage. 

"Next, the 12th ranked trainee. This trainee's ranking graph chart has a very huge dynamic of changes, much like the trainee himself." 

Jisung whipped his head towards Daniel so quickly he was surprised it didn't break. Daniel's face was still sheet white and he wasn't breathing. It had to be Daniel. No one else had bounced around nearly as much as he had. He had to get through. He'd succeeded in nearly every evaluation up until now, they couldn't eliminate him, they couldn't. And Daniel was dynamic on stages. He was one of the best here, of course he was dynamic, it had to be him, it had to be.

"With 296,156 votes, MMO Entertainment's..." 

He could feel the eyes of the other trainees burning into the back of his head. He wanted it to be him. He wanted the waiting to be done, he wanted to be secure in his seat, to know he was through. But he wanted Daniel to get through too. He could wait for a bit longer, he could rise higher, surely, hopefully, he just wanted Daniel to be through. He was in a more secure position than Daniel was. A rise to 11th or higher wouldn't be as big a jump for him as it would be for Daniel. It wouldn't be impossible. And another, smaller, greedier part of him wanted to be back in the top eleven. So he could have some have confidence in the next round. So he wouldn't have to worry. So he could feel a little more secure before the most important ranking evaluation of his life. 

"Yoon Jisung." 

His head snapped upwards, the strange burst of cheers and gasps and claps piercing his ears. The firm, cold grip returned on his hand, squeezing reassuringly, and a soft smile was spread across Daniel's face. But instead of congratulating him, clapping him on the back, or any of the usual stuff, Daniel just said, in quiet, almost disappointed voice, "You deserve to be higher." 

Jisung felt like laughing. Why did he deserve to be higher? He was higher than Sewoon and Sewoon was very clearly more talented than him. The fact he'd managed to survive this long was thanks to sheer dumb luck. Not skill. More skilled trainees had been eliminated. He was useless, he didn't deserve hi-- 

No. Not anymore. He wasn't useless. Minseok had said so. Jonghyun had said he was a good leader. The coaches had said he'd had good stage presence. He wasn't useless. He couldn't let his thoughts run away like that, into the depths of his mind that he dare not explore. If Daniel said he deserved higher, he deserved higher. He trusted Daniel, didn't he? So why wouldn't he believe him on this too? 

He did his best to smile brightly at Daniel as he rose from his seat and walked up to the stage. He'd risen three places. It was better than falling. Yeah, he wasn't in the top eleven, but he was almost there. He just had to rise one position and he'd debut. One position. He could do it. He was so close. 

All he had to do was do well in the final evaluation and hope that he'd made it back into the audience's good books. Hope that somehow he managed to do better than trainees much more talented than he was. He wanted to get into the final eleven so badly it ached and if that meant pushing himself to the limit to do it, he was more than willing to do so.

A mic was passed into his hands by Jaehwan. He raised it to his mouth, on instinct with no idea of what to say. What could he say? Why couldn't you place me higher so I wasn't so scared going into the final round? Why did you put me here instead of Daniel? He hadn't even been paying attention to the others, so he had no ideas.

He inhaled deeply and just said whatever came to mind. Hopefully it was coherent enough to make a decent speech. He looked up to meet the gazes of the other trainees. His own dumb clap greeted him and the edges of his lips tugged upwards, involuntarily. He could do this. He could do this.

"I didn't expect to get this far. Honestly, I thought I'd get eliminated after the first round, but the Nation's Producers, you choose to keep me on. I don't know why, but, um, I'm really grateful." He laughed weakly. "I actually have a shot at debuting now. It's not just a dream anymore. I promise I'll work my hardest for the next round, and I'll give you reason to let me into the final eleven. To finally let an old, crusty man like me get into an idol group." 

BoA let out an incredulous laugh. "Am I ancient then?" 

Heat crept into his cheeks, but he replied, without missing a beat, his slow smile bursting into a full blown grin, "The ancient-est. I mean, not including a certain trainee but he doesn't count." 

She shook her head, which would've looked disapproving if not for the smile wide on her face. "I'm flattered, Jisung." She looked back to her cue cards. "Congratulations trainees and please take a seat at your ranks." 

A round of applause started and Jisung followed the others to their seats. As he sat down, his gaze returned to the other trainees, travelling through them to land on Daniel's thumbs up, the gesture big even constrained by the bandage. The image filled him with dread as a sense of deja vu washed over him. 

The last time Daniel had been sitting down there and he'd been up here, in a seat with his place secured in the next round, Daniel had faced elimination. Daniel had fallen so far it had seemed impossible to rise up from. His heart seized at the mere thought of it happening again. Daniel couldn't afford to drop to 20th, not when they were this close to the final round. Not now. He'd been rising so quickly, so fast -- Jisung couldn't help but wonder if he'd burned too bright, too early. 

"From now on, it's the top ranks picked by the Nation's Producers. The Top 11 trainees will be revealed." 

Some of the trainees began to sit back at the sound of that, resigned looks on their faces, shoulders slumped and eyes on the ground. Some occasionally glanced towards the 20th chair. It scared him to see Daniel amongst them. But he was in 22nd. He was one of those who was already in the elimination ranks, so he didn't even have to fall to be at risk of elimination.

BoA ran through the names of who'd been in the top eleven in the last ranking evaluation who'd fallen from their positions. Jaehwan, Haknyeon and Youngmin. Three new spots in the top eleven available. Three new trainees in them, three new trainees who would be hopeful going into the final round, three new trainees who could feel powerful and secure, if only for a few moments. The question was, who'd managed to push their way up? 

BoA put the curiosity and anxiety into words. "Will the trainees previously in the top eleven reclaim their seats or will there be an unexpected twist? The Top Eleven trainees and the winner of the first place rank in the 3rd Ranking Evaluation will be revealed."

Jisung's eyes remained fixed on Daniel the entire time. He had to get in. He had to be one of the eleven. He couldn't deal with another scrape-through, another almost-elimination. He couldn't. He needed Daniel to be comfortably in the final eleven. He needed him to to be in the top eleven now, so the audience could easily imagine him as a member of the second IOI, when it counted most.

"Firstly, the 11th ranked trainee. This trainee made leap after leap upwards, and has finally made it to the top eleven." 

Daniel looked upwards, towards BoA, and Jisung could only hope that this time, it would be Daniel. Hoped that Daniel had finally passed him out, finally gotten to debuting positions, that he'd deserved since the start and fought so hard to pull himself up to.

But the other trainees were torn between Park Woojin and Daniel, one half staring at each. Both had made massive jumps upwards. Both had never been in the top eleven, at least not yet. He wanted Woojin to get through. He really did. But Woojin was in 14th, not 22nd. He could push further upwards. He wasn't sure if Daniel could. He'd already made a jump of eleven places, if this was his seat. If it wasn't? Daniel wasn't likely to jump any higher than that. It would either be 20th or elimination. It had to be Daniel. He would give anything if it was. He needed it to be Daniel. 

"With 305,748 votes..." 

Jisung closed his eyes. His stomach was twisting itself into knots. Please. Just this once, he wanted things to go his way. Please. 

"MMO's Kang Daniel." 

His eyes flew open and he nearly screamed with joy. He leapt to his feet instead, grinning so broadly it hurt. He almost couldn't believe it. It had seemed impossible a few months ago, that Daniel would ever rise to the top eleven after suffering such a massive blow. The applause sounded deafening to his ears and he did his dumb clap for the first time in what felt like forever. Daniel had done it. He'd finally made it. He'd finally done it. He was safer than Jisung was going into the final round, he was in the top eleven, which was more than Jisung could hope for. 

Daniel's mouth formed an 'o', his eyes wide and his chest still. He didn't move for a few moments, until Woojin beside him pushed him to his feet and embraced in him in a hug. It was followed by hugs from Seongwoo and Daehwi on the way up, but Daniel went through them like a man in daze. The climb up to the stage was a slow one, and Daniel kept glancing back at his seat, and then towards BoA, almost like he expected it to be a trick. 

He turned around to face the trainees as BoA spoke, so that the back of his head was facing Jisung. If he leaned, he could see Daniel's face on the screen. 

Daniel held the mic up to his mouth with trembling hands, his eyes still bulging like they were about to pop out of his skull. "I... thought I was done, after the first ranking evaluation. I thought that I couldn't climb back from such a massive drop, but thanks to your votes, that you've given me so generously, I've actually made it to the top eleven. I've made it to the final round. I never thought either of them would happen. These past few months have been hard, but thanks to you, Nation's Producers, I've been able to get closer to my dream than ever, even despite everything. Thank you and I'll work hard to show the best side of me that I can." 

Jisung wanted to hug him when he walked up the stairs to take his seat, but he settled for a massive grin instead. Daniel stumbled up to his seat without acknowledging it, mouth still hanging wide open.

The rest of the ranks were just as all over the place, almost like in the twilight of competition, the audience was suddenly changing their minds as who they wanted in the final eleven. 

It started fairly unsurprising -- Dongho went up one place to 10th. 

And then, after two ranks announced, it got strange. Jonghyun, in one week, had dropped to 9th. Down nine places, the second biggest drop after Youngmin's. Everyone knew why. It had probably slipped out, in bits and pieces, even if Pledis had paid or threatened Mnet not to air it. The rumours would be enough. Enough to push him down far enough to make him uneasy. And uneasy he looked. 

His unease didn't seem to be reduced by BoA either. She was clearly struggling with the whole honorifics situation. She'd probably being told to address him as normal -- which she seemed to be trying to do -- but shd looked like she felt uncomfortable with it. Jonghyun had over a hundred and ten years on her, she should've been addressing him as the elder but obviously couldn't since that would immediately out his identity. Jonghyun smiled awkwardly the entire time, looking like he wanted to correct her and Jisung couldn't help but feel bad for him. He'd straight up said he preferred to not be addressed as hyung by people who were biologically older than him. But obviously, in that moment, he couldn't tell BoA that. Jisung was almost glad to see the conversation come to an end, with all the discomfort overflowing from it.

Minhyun dropped two places to 8th and Seongwoo returned his 7th position from last week and it seemed like everything was right again, that Jonghyun's massive drop was the exception and not the rule. Then Park Woojin jumped 8 places up to 6th and Samuel eleven places up to 5th. 

Woojin was less surprising than Samuel's -- he was rising almost as fast as Daniel -- but he'd been sure Samuel was going to be eliminated. He'd hoped for otherwise, someone as talented as Samuel deserved better but such a huge drop made it seem like the audience had fallen out of love with him, without much reason at all. Not like Youngmin's drop. It made it seem like they were tired of him, like they'd seen enough. Unless something had come to light that Jisung wasn't aware of and the audience had forgiven him for it. He couldn't tell. He never knew what they were thinking. 

The announcement of Samuel's position brought them to the main event: the top four. Whispers were already flying through the crowd, but it seemed like the final line-up was obvious. There had been a few huge shifts, but the final four seemed too fixed for that. They were always predictable. They were always safe. There were never any surprises. 

Jaehwan leaned over to him. "Who do you think it'll be?" 

"I mean, it's obvious, right?," Jisung said, turning his head to face him, "Jinyoung, Jihoon and Guanlin." He paused. "I don't know who the last one will be, honestly but..." He trailed off, not sure if he could finish the sentence.

Jaehwan nodded slowly and his eyes moved to the trainees. Jisung followed his gaze to Daehwi. His heart clenched. 

Daehwi looked so small. His hands were trembling and he glanced at the empty seats beside every now and then. He looked so deflated and alone and accepting of what seemed inevitable -- his impending elimination. 

"What about Daehwi?" Jaehwan whispered. 

Jisung chewed on his lip before replying. "I want him to get through. He deserves it. More than that, he needs it, he's been through hell and back in the past few weeks and he deserves some sort of award for pulling out a performance as good as the one that he gave for Never, more than those 100,000 points but..."

Jaehwan nodded. They both knew the reason why. It was fucked up and cruel and wrong but they had no control over the audience. They had no choice but hope and let the river run its course, even if it was pulling some of the trainees to the depths. Many of whom didn't deserve it. But someone had to be pulled down and all they could do was be grateful it wasn't them. 

"Now we are only left with four places. Continuing on, same as always, I will announce the four candidates for the number one rank." 

A buzz of nervous excitement clouded the air and Jisung couldn't take his eyes of Daehwi. There was still 20th after all. Daehwi could get through yet. He had to have hope. He just had to wait until 20th came up. That was all. It wouldn't be long. And then, hopefully Daehwi would be safe. Through to the next round despite it all. 

"The four candidates from first place will be revealed on the screens." 

A few moments of murmuring, eyes flitting towards the screens and holding breaths, and then Jisung saw Daehwi's entire expression shift and heard a massive yell from nearby. 

He whipped his head towards the screens, looking over them as fast as he could. And his jaw dropped. 

Jihoon, Jinyoung, Sungwoon and Daehwi. 

It felt like getting a blow to the stomach. Where was Guanlin? How had Sungwoon risen so much? How the hell had Daehwi gotten a chance to contend for first place when Daniel and Jonghyun had dropped? It didn't feel like an audience decision. They were fickle, but not that fickle. 

He looked back to Daehwi, who was staring up at the screens with his bulging eyes, his face leeched of all colour. His head whipped to and fro and those who weren't staring at Sungwoon's massive reaction (it was justified, he'd just jumped 22 places) had their eyes fixed on him. Some of the expressions made Jisung feel sick to his core. 

He'd never seen such raw hatred towards a trainee who might not have risen at all. Everyone had been sad at the possibility of Daehwi's elimination but when faced with his victory, they were disgusted. His failure would've been sad, but at least it would've reinforced the status quo. Vampires dropped, leaving room for other trainees to clamber up. They weren't allowed to move up, not until they'd earned it. There was no awe, no shock, no surprise, not like Sungwoon's massive climb, there was just anger. 

"The four trainees who could possibly be first place: Maroo Entertainment's Park Jihoon, C9's Bae Jinyoung, Ardor and Able's Ha Sungwoon and" -- BoA lifted her gaze from the cue card to meet the eyes of the trainees -- "Brand New Music's Lee Daehwi." 

As more people looked towards Daehwi, the reactions began to vary from the pure rage surrounding him. Jisung saw surprise, confusion, indifference and even, most strangely, joy. Daehwi never even so much as glanced at them. His eyes remained fixed on his face staring back at him from the screen. 

The focus was still on Guanlin and Sungwoon, obviously, he'd had the massive drop, but more and more eyes looked towards Daehwi. And as Jinyoung claimed fourth and Sungwoon claimed third, some trainees staring at him turned into everyone. Daehwi hadn't just kept his position. He'd moved up. He was contending for first. He was fighting Park Jihoon for first. A vampire was contending for first, with the audience fully aware of his vampirism. Even Jonghyun looked taken off guard. Everyone knew this was not meant to happen. He was meant to be eliminated. Daehwi had signed off on his own elimination the minute he'd turned and it had been caught camera, even if it hadn't been of his own volition. 

"Maroo Entertainment's Park Jihoon, Brand New Music's Lee Daehwi, both of you are candidates for first place. Please come up on stage." 

The two rose to the stage through a strange round of applause, with as many glares mixed in with expressions of sympathy. Daehwi stumbled up to the stage much less elegantly than Jihoon's stride towards it. Granted, one of them had a lot more experience with it. And had been expecting it. 

"National Producers, who will it be between these two trainees? Which trainee will claim the throne for our third ranking announcement?" 

The two kept glancing at each, almost like neither could quite believe it. Daehwi, much more so than Jihoon. He was fidgeting as she spoke, and Jisung didn't need to see his face to know he was absolutely terrified. 

BoA turned to Jihoon to ask him questions but Jisung was so focused on Daehwi he barely even paid attention to them. Why now? Why now did the audience forgive vampirism? Was it because it was Daehwi? Was it because they knew for certain he wasn't an older vampire? Was it because he'd been turned against his will, making it easier for people to hate vampires and still love him, like how Jonghyun had said? Was it out of pity and sympathy rather than genuine admiration? 

"Brand New Music's Lee Daehwi?" 

Daehwi nodded in acknowledgement, not saying anything even as he brought the microphone to his lips. 

BoA glanced down at the cue card. Her lips, at least from what Jisung could see, pursed, anger flashing in those eyes for a split-second, so quick he would've blinked and missed it. Her grip on the cards tightened as she read out the question. "Do you feel you can claim the number one rank, even despite all that's happened to you in the last few weeks?" 

Daehwi looked towards her, something like hurt splashed across his face. The glance didn't last long and he looked back out to the trainees. He swallowed loudly before answering. 

"Um, I don't know. I don't think so. I'm really thankful to everyone who voted for me but I just... Jihoon hyung is really talented and I feel like he has a really good chance of getting it. I would like it but... it seems a little out of reach."

BoA smiled softly. "The results of our Nation's Producers voting, the 3rd Ranking Announcement. The long-awaited number one ranked trainee will be revealed now." 

A pin dropping in that room would've sounded like a bomb going off. It was Jihoon, right? Come to reclaim his title? It had to be. Daehwi couldn't have actually come first. Not when every other vampire reveal had forced the trainee down. Why had the audience suddenly decided to vote for vampires, when they'd been so adamantly against them up until this point? It had be Jihoon who won. Jihoon was the obvious one. The one everyone expected. The outcome that made the most sense. Daehwi winning was an impossibility. It just couldn't happen. It couldn't. 

"The first centre who continues to surprise and astonish us with his dancing and singing abilities, Brand New Music's Lee Daehwi. Or the trainee who is always preserving with an earnest attitude, who strives to give a perfect performance every time he's on stage, Maroo Entertainment's Park Jihoon. Among these 2 trainees, who is the one who the National Producers have picked with more votes?" 

Whispers were flying around Jisung at rapid pace, constant repeats of Jihoon's name with a few curious Daehwi's thrown in. Clearly everyone agreed with him. It would be Jihoon. It had to be Jihoon. Anything else was unfathomable, unthinkable, nonsensical. Daehwi couldn't win. Not like this. But at the seconds ticked by, Jisung doubted himself more and more. The audience were unpredictable. They fluctuated and changed every week, cycling through first place after first place, favourite trainee after favourite trainee. Why couldn't Daehwi come first? What was stopping him? Their own assumptions? The National Producers had surprised them before, they could do so again. 

"Brand New Music's Lee Daehwi." 

The entire room erupted. Jisung couldn't hear himself thinking over the gasps and yells and shouts. For a moment, he thought he'd heard wrong. He thought that Jihoon had gotten it, for sure. It seemed like an easy win. 

But Daehwi's wide eyes were staring back at him from the screen, the orange number one looking like it was massive and dominating, almost burning gold. And Jihoon was nodding in acceptance beside Daehwi, clapping with a strange smile on his face. 

"I guess you were wrong, hyung," Jaehwan said from beside him. 

A grin spread across his face. "I guess I was." He'd never been happier for it.

He stood up, clapping and cheering as loudly as he could, until his hands stung and his throat was raw, because Daehwi sure as fucking hell deserved that first place. He was almost ready to get down on his hands and knees and thank the audience, for having done the thing he'd least expected right when it had been needed most.

Daehwi's knees were shaking so much that he looked like he was on the verge of collapse. His mouth hung wide open and he let out a sound that was something between squeak and gasp. His eyes were fixed on the screen, and he never even so much as glanced at something else. 

Even BoA was grinning, the most genuine smile he'd seen on her face while she was MCing to date. "Brand New Music's Lee Daehwi has risen to number one with a total of 798,648 out of 8,407,307 votes. Please tell us how it feel to be number one."

Daehwi hesitated as he put the mic up to his lips, his hands shaking and his eyes finally moving down from the screen to the camera in front of him.

"Um, I want to thank everyone who voted for me for giving me this opportunity. This past week or so has been really hard. In case you didn't know, uh, a saesang" -- he choked up for a few seconds -- "a saesang turned me. I haven't really gotten used to it. I mean. I didn't see it coming, and I, uh, I thought was going home this week. So this means a lot to me. I didn't even think this was possible. I want to thank you all for giving me your precious votes, and the 'Never' team for providing me with a chance to show my skills, and I promise to do my best in the next round." 

His shocked expression finally melted into a smile and he bowed deeply, before turning to them and bowing once more. As he turned back to face the other trainees, BoA asked Jihoon about how he was feeling. 

Daehwi glanced back at them, his eyes moving towards Jonghyun and Daniel and strangely, Jisung. When he did meet Daehwi's gaze he smiled as brightly and broadly as he possibly could, will all the joy he could muster. He threw in a thumbs up for good measure. Daehwi flushed pink and turned back around, as Jihoon finished his speech. 

BoA spoke up again. "On a live broadcast stage, we look forward to see what kind of image these 2 will show." 

Daehwi and Jihoon hugged before moving up the steps. It was initially pretty awkward before the two melted into it, the tension moving out Daehwi's body in one quick moment. 

And then they took their seats and for once, Jisung dared to look at the throne, so powerful and so intimidating and Daehwi looked so small on it but he also looked so confident, so proud, all of the nervousness and fear and anxiety finally eradicated. It almost looked like it was made for him. He sure as hell needed the confidence boost after all that had happened. In that moment, he wished he could thank the audience, for giving him what he wanted, what he needed, right when he needed it most. He didn't give a shit if it was a sympathy vote. Daehwi had gotten first and that was what mattered. 

The most shocking move might've been Guanlin getting 20th, but Daehwi's first felt like the most important one.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> A lot of surprises, okay, yeah, I mixed up like everyone's position, but that's because I want it to be extra tense as we move into the final round :D   
> Next chapter we start the final evaluation, the Debut Evaluation and well, okay, I'm kind of not ready for it to be over T-T   
> Only a few chapters left T-T


	31. XXX

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Onto the Debut Evaluation! Time to see how those changed results affect everyone's positions 👀

20 trainees felt like nothing. If the thirty-five trainees of the past round had made the place feel empty, it barely compared to the feeling of seeing so few faces. Everyone was recognisable now. He kind of missed the time when he looked into a group of trainees and couldn't identify anyone. The severe lack of people made the entire place feel so lonely. 

He still felt like he was reeling from losing Lee Woojin. Jisung had been so sure he'd get through. Daniel had too. Why wouldn't he get through? He was so talented and so young and fresh-faced and he'd made it this far -- But Guanlin claimed 20th and Woojin had been sent home. 

He hadn't really thought he'd miss Woojin, especially after the whole vampire argument thing from the first round. But the little guy had grown on him like a fungus. And he'd grown so much from the boy who'd called Daniel a little-boy-eating monster to his face. Jisung missed him a lot more than he was willing to admit. It was weird, to expect to see Woojin chatting excitedly with Daniel, only to see Daniel hanging out with just Seongwoo instead. 

Daniel was obviously the most devastated by Woojin's leaving. Daniel had basically been his dad, the two had almost been inseperable. Where Daniel went, Woojin followed, without hesitation. But now he was gone. And it was just Daniel. 

After the ranking was over and Woojin's elimination confirmed, Daniel had hugged him for what seemed like forever. Jisung almost believed that he wouldn't let go. When he caught a glimpse of Daniel's eyes, he'd looked like he'd been on the verge of tears. He didn't cry, but it came close. 

But Mnet didn't give them time to breathe, to genuinely get upset over it, to process that they'd made it through, that they were on the fringe of debut. They were shoved into the final evaluation the very next day. 

Jisung kept expecting to wake up from a dream. A few months ago and debut had seemed impossible, a fleeting hope for a doomed trainee like him. He'd been ready for an office career, ready to go home and apologise to his parents for wasting all their money on training, to finally confront the fact that he was never going to be an idol, no matter how badly he wanted it. 

And now he was one rank outside debut position, in the final round. It didn't seem like a faint hope, a distant dream anymore. Now he was almost there. Now he was so close he could almost reach out and grab it. Just a little longer. One more round. He was so fucking tired, worn to the bone, so exhausted that he thought he'd just collapse. But all he had to do was survive one more round. 

And as the twenty trainees stepped into the silent room, for the beginning of the final round, the air weighed a million tons and his heart hammered in his chest like a drum.

BoA stepped in after them, breaking the tense silence with a, "Hello."

Everyone clapped as she entered, but even that felt on edge, like everyone was holding their breaths and didn't dare be the first one to inhale.

"We've been together in 'Produce 101' for a total of three months now." 

The first evaluation felt like a lifetime ago. Not three months ago. 

"In that time, we've been through a total of four evaluations with our National Producers." She listed them off and they brought forth strange stirrings in Jisung's mind. He'd been so caught up with each one, he hadn't really had a chance to look back on the previous one. It felt like each one came so quickly after the last that they'd had to forget everything from the first one and move onto the next.

"The debut selection has come down to 20 surviving trainees. Every one of the higher ranks has come for our final evaluation before debuting -- The Debut Evaluation. In twelve days time..."

Twelve days and they would know who had made it to the next IOI. Who had finally achieved the dream and who had to return to their company with their heads bowed. 

"On the 6th of June, 20 of you will perform on a live broadcast in front of our Nation's Producers for the first time." 

The whispers sparked at the live broadcast. No editing out mistakes then. No fixing up sound issues or vocal problems. All mistakes would be visible for the world to see. Any tears, any overreactions, any temper tantrums would be shown. All they'd have were a few rehearsals and hope that they didn't mess up. 

BoA explained the voting system and the fact that only eleven would be getting through again, and then they moved onto the fun part: the evaluation song. 

Except, because Mnet took joy in pulling the rug out from underneath them, it was two songs. One for each team. 

Which didn't seem fair. How was the audience supposed to judge who was ready for debut when they were doing two different songs? If the audience preferred one song over the other, wouldn't they just vote for most of the trainees on that song? They couldn't judge who was better when they had different material to compare from. It made no sense to Jisung but he couldn't exactly say anything against it. It was probably to make more money or something. Release two original songs and if they charted well, twice the money. 

The only good thing that came out of it was that Daehwi didn't get automatic centre position, and everyone got a chance. Daehwi's smile was tight at that, and Jisung couldn't help but wonder if the change came about as a result of Daehwi, a vampire, claiming first. Centre chosen by the coaches instead of the audience. That way Mnet could get around a vampire in centre. 

At least the two songs were pretty good. And total opposites. Which would make the audience's job of comparing which trainees were fit for debut harder. 

And then immediately into choosing positions. The stressful part. Twelfth out of twenty was way too low. He was getting moved for sure. He skimmed through the parts as quickly as he could. If he got a vocal part he'd be happy. He couldn't risk doing something other than his strongest ability in the last round. It was his last chance to prove himself. And he needed to move up one place. Just one place. He couldn't do that if he was rapping. He'd take either song, as long he didn't have to rap. He just had to choose tactically. Hope that no one pushed him out of his preferred song. And preferred position. 

Guanlin, Seonho, Youngmin, Woojin, Daniel, Jihoon, Jonghyun. Seven rappers and five rap parts. Hopefully that would keep him safely away from rapping. Just needed to get a decent vocal part and that was it. 

And then there was the matter of which song to choose. Some part of him wanted to go for the obvious choice, Super Hot, because that was what the audience thought he'd excel at. They choose essentially the same concept for him last round. 

But some part of him ached to try something different. He'd been pushed into the funny box over and over and over again, as though it was the only thing he could do, as though he couldn't try any other concept. Maybe in the final round, right when he should've been playing it safest, it was the perfect time to take a risk. To maybe show the audience he was more than just funny. That he deserved a position in the second IOI as much as the rest of them. That he wasn't just there for entertainment, to be cast away in the final round. 

Besides, he kind of preferred Hands On Me as a song. So maybe he might as well just go for it. What did he have to lose? Too much, his mind supplied, far too much. Everything rested on this. One final performance. One final chance to give it his all and hope that it was enough. So why wouldn't he play it safe? 

But that greed, that hunger to be something more than just Jisung, the gag trainee, surfaced with vengeance, clawing at his chest. And maybe he was making a massive mistake but his eyes lingered on the Hands On Me sheet for far longer than they did on the Super Hot one and eventually he just put down the Super Hot one entirely. He had everything to lose but he wanted to at least go out doing something to prove he was worth more than he thought he was.

He risked a glance at Daniel to fiddling with his bandage, worry splashed across his face as he stared intensely at the sheet in his hand.

"You good?" he whispered. 

Daniel nodded but it wasn't particularly reassuring. "Uh, yeah, just... I wanna get a rap part and Jonghyun, Jihoon and Woojin are all above me. I haven't rapped this entire competition. This is my last chance." 

Jisung hesitated on how to reply to that. "If you don't get a rap part, just remember you managed to win almost every round of this competition without it. You'll be fine. You can do it. All you have to do is keep your current position and in less than two weeks you'll be a member of the next IOI." 

Daniel just nodded. He didn't look particularly reassured, but a small smile spread across his face anyway. 

There was final shuffling of papers and whispering of discussions and then Youngmin went first. His choice was obvious. Super Hot's rapper no. 1. 

Lai Guanlin moved and went for another obvious choice and claimed Super Hot rapper 3. 

Sewoon played it safe. Hands on Me Subvocal 1. Considering he had to fight Dongho and Jaehwan for the main vocal parts, it was probably the smartest choice.

Haknyeon followed suit and put himself as Super Hot Subvocal 3. More smart placing. Unless they were desperate, no one was going to move it. 

Seonho suddenly decided to be a vocal -- probably because he knew, just like Daniel that the rap parts were basically unachievable -- and then made a move that no one expected. Haknyeon had seemed safe. But Seonho moved him out a Subvocal 3 and put him in Subvocal 4. The sheets in his hands were suddenly slippery with sweat. 

Minki played it much safer than anyone prior. Subvocal 6. If Subvocal 3 had seemed unlikely to be moved, 6 seemed like no one would even think of it. But there was still fifteen trainees to go. And Haknyeon had seemed safe too. 

Haknyeon was moved again. Hyungseob claimed Subvocal 4 and he was pushed lower down again. Jisung's heart was pounding in his ears. Haknyeon had seemed like he would be safe. How had he been pushed down twice? 

Jaehwan went for the opposite tactic to everyone else and went straight for Hands On Me's Main Vocal. Bold considering Dongho was still far ahead of him. 

Thinking time was up. He was next. Time to finally make a decision. He put his sweat-drenched sheets down and walked towards the board, feeling sick to his stomach. He wanted more lines this time around, unlike how few he'd gotten in the last round. He needed to prove himself in this round. He needed lines. And he really, really wanted Subvocal 3 for Hands On Me. He wanted it so bad it ached.

But it felt too high. Too certain to be moved. He couldn't risk being like Haknyeon, constantly shifted from one position to another. Or worse, another song. Lines or safety? Which would be better for him in the long run? Was he willing to take a risk?

Last time, he chosen votes over lines. And that hadn't panned out. But he'd also taken a risk. So what part of it did he regret more? 

He picked up the marker with his face on it and placed it, gingerly, on Hands On Me's Subvocal 3. He walked back to his place on jelly legs. He just had to hope that he'd made the right decision. He didn't dare take his eyes off it, as though it would be moved if he did. 

Daniel went next. He looked torn, his eyes flitting between the vocal parts and rap parts before finally placing his marker on Rapper 1 for Hands On Me. 

And then the nightmare came to fruition. He'd literally chosen it a few minutes prior and he was already moved. Dongho immediately shifted him down to Subvocal 4 to claim Subvocal 3. That wasn't too bad, right? Surely he still got some lines there.

He flipped through the pages of the booklet as fast as he could, trying to count Subvocal 4's lines as Jonghyun walked up and claimed Rapper 2 in Super Hot. It wasn't too bad. He had some lines. Hopefully there would be no more moving. Hopefully he could just stay there, nice and safe and with lines. 

Minhyun claimed Subvocal 1 for Hands On Me, shifting Sewoon into Subvocal 1 for Super Hot and Seongwoo claimed Hands On Me's Subvocal 2 right after, after plenty of messing around and mind games. 

Then Woojin moved Daniel down to Rapper 2 to claim Rapper 1. Jisung felt Daniel tense beside him. At least it was still a rap position and still in a song he wanted to be in. 

And then Samuel moved Sewoon out of Subvocal 1 back into Hands on Me, but instead into Subvocal 5. 

4 more left. Jisung still had a chance at claiming Subvocal 4. Please. Just four more. Jinyoung walked up next and his heart was racing at a million miles a minute, Jinyoung was a vocal and he wasn't a flashy one, he'd be after Subvocal 3 or 4 for sure, shit, fuck. He almost crumpled to his knees, ready to beg him not to move him, he'd do anything, he just needed lines. 

But Jinyoung didn't go for Subvocal 4. He instead grabbed Dongho in Subvocal 3 and moved him to Subvocal 6. Dongho's pained smile said it all, but at least he hadn't moved songs. He released the breath he'd been holding. Just 3 more left. One of whom was a rapper. He could claim it. He could get it. He could Subvocal 4. 

Sungwoon went for Super Hot's main vocal, claimed at long last. And Jihoon certainly wasn't going to move him. Daehwi was more ambiguous but Sungwoon seemed safe enough in claiming it. Sungwoon had hung between the two boards for a while before finally going with Super Hot. Maybe he'd realised how much people had liked the fun image from Show Time. 

Jihoon was next and did the most obvious move. He moved Daniel out of rapper 2 and into Subvocal 7. It was obvious... but that didn't make it less upsetting. He'd been hoping for Daniel to finally get to rap. He glanced over at Daniel to see his jaw clenched but he said nothing. 

Daehwi claimed the final spot, Subvocal 2 for Super Hot for himself. 

Jisung couldn't believe it. He couldn't believe he'd actually held onto Subvocal 4. He thought he'd be moved for sure. The fact he hadn't been moved seemed like a miracle. Like a dream. He needed to go up one more position. Hopefully this would help provide it. 

He turned to Daniel, ready to celebrate the fact he'd managed to hold onto some lines only to see his head hung and his fists clenched around the sheets. 

"You okay?" he said softly. 

Daniel smiled brightly, with the most unconvincing smile that Jisung had ever seen. "Yeah, yeah, I'm fine. Just wish I'd gotten more lines but what can you do?" 

Jisung didn't return the smile. "Daniel, when you told me to promise to be open and seek help when I needed it, I was under the impression it was a two-sided thing." 

Daniel's smile faltered. His eyes flitted towards something and Jisung followed his gaze to the camera. Ah. He wouldn't want the audience privy to his most personal insecurities either or to look bad or ungrateful in front of them in the last round.

The false grin returned. "Later, okay? I promise." 

They left the room barely a few minutes later, headed towards a new room to begin discussing and practicing for the songs. It seemed almost too fast but considering they only had twelve days to prepare for a live broadcast, every second counted. 

Daniel left to go to the bathroom as soon as they sat down. Jisung took that as his cue. He followed him out quickly. 

"No cameras," Daniel mumbled as he held the door open. 

Jisung smiled tightly. He wouldn't be surprised if Mnet stooped that low. He didn't mention it. "I'm guessing it's to do with getting a vocal?" 

Daniel nodded, staring into the mirror of one the bathroom sinks. It almost felt like he was avoiding meeting his gaze. "I... I'm just tired of having to sing. Again. I was trained as a rapper, not a singer and I just keep getting pushed into singing role after singing role and I'm sick of it. Especially since I'm gonna get barely any lines and it's the last round. This is my last chance. If I don't manage to hold onto this place, I'll probably have to wait like forty years to get another. Or change companies. Or something, I dunno. I'm too publicly known as a vampire for MMO to debut me. Or for any company to want to sign me. It's not like MMO was planning to debut any of us anyway." 

Something angry riled up in Jisung but he squashed it. Fast. Daniel was frustrated and he had every right to be. He'd gotten Subvocal 7. Jisung had Subvocal 4. "You don't get many lines so that means you focus on dance. You're probably the best dancer here. You can still draw attention to yourself with stage presence. You'll have more of a chance to practice the dance because you have so few lines." 

Daniel glanced at him, the slightest sliver of hope shining through the frustration. But it was still mostly frustration. "I don't know if it'll be enough, hyung. The last few times I only got to to the next because I won the evaluations. And this time, I'm fairly certain it was sheer dumb luck. I don't see how I'm gonna get through." He hesitated. "And I know it's not fair talking about this in front of you, because you're in twelfth and you wouldn't have forty years to find a new company but... I dunno." His shoulders hunched. 

Jisung fell silent. He'd hit the nail on the head, unfortunately. He hated him for it. But what could he say? Yeah, that's true, I'm also scared out of my wits and I need this or else it's back to office job when I don't have a proper college degree in a market where college degrees are so common that they're not a guarantee of a job anymore? 

He just grinned his best reassuring grin and punched Daniel in the shoulder. "Look, we'll get through. For sure. Don't think too hard about it, okay? We'll be in that final eleven." 

They had to get it, they had to get into the second IOI. Because Jisung had no idea what he'd do if he didn't.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Yeah okay, I fucked it up a little, but um... now you get Hands On Me Baekho? Even if he has like no lines 😅😅   
> If you want the positions from Hands On Me, here they are:   
> MV - Jaehwan  
> SV1 - Minhyun  
> SV2 - Seongwoo  
> SV3 - Jinyoung  
> SV4 - Jisung  
> SV5 - Sewoon  
> SV6 - Dongho  
> SV7 - Daniel  
> R1 - Woojin  
> R2 - Jihoon


	32. XXXI

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Woooo debut evaluationnnn :3333  
> I would say this chapter is more light-hearted than the previous two but like... only by a little. There's still depressing stuff. 😅 I can't help myself

The Hands On Me first meeting started off... chaotic. 

Naturally, the important things had to be done first, so Seongwoo clapped the slate and then they moved onto to discuss who was leader.

Jisung decided to take intiative. "So... who wants to be leader?" 

Silence lingered. Dongho and Sewoon were too busy silently fuming/being desperately upset in the corner to pay attention, Jinyoung and Jihoon both suddenly looked like babies, Seongwoo and Jaehwan miraculously lost the ability to speak, and Minhyun, Daniel and Woojin both avoided his gaze like he was Medusa. 

Daniel stared pointedly at the person opposite him. Jisung followed his gaze to see Seongwoo blinking innocently, his hands fidgeting like mad. Finally, just as the silence grew really awkward, Seongwoo sighed and cleared his throat. 

"If no one else wants to do it, I'll go for it." 

Jisung turned to look at Daniel. "Daniel, are you sure you don't want to do it?" 

Daniel's smile was massive. "No, no, I'm good. Thanks for offering, hyung. Besides, Seongwoo clearly wants to do it." 

Seongwoo did not look like he clearly wanted to do it. 

Jisung raised an eyebrow. "What did you promise him?" 

"Nothing, nothing at all, not a thing, I would never bribe anyone to do anything." 

Seongwoo rolled his eyes. "I actually wanna do it, hyung, I promise." 

"How about we move on?" Sewoon suggested, a grin on his face almost as big as Daniel's, "We still have to discuss centre and all that stuff." 

Dongho raised an eyebrow from beside him. "We're not choosing the centre, remember?" 

Sewoon deflated. "Oh, yeah." 

"How do you reckon they'll choose him?" Jinyoung said, looking around at them with those gigantic eyes. Jisung still had no idea how eyes that big fit on a face that small. 

Jihoon shrugged from beside him. "I thought the coaches would choose." 

"Knowing Mnet, they'll probably try to pull the rug out from underneath us," Dongho said darkly, which made Jinyoung shift away from him with a mildly terrified expression. Daehwi's fear of the trainee suddenly seemed understandable. He could not see any of the marshmallow-y cuteness that Jonghyun described. Maybe it was only a Jonghyun thing. 

"How?" Minhyun asked, folding his arms, "Are they gonna make the audience pick or something? Have random idols come in and choose?" 

Dongho's manly, aggressive thing vanished in an instant and he flushed. "Maybe, I dunno, Mnet's unpredictable!" 

Seongwoo cleared throat all of a sudden. "Why have I not been awarded the leader sticker?" 

Silence returned. Seongwoo's eyes narrowed. "Uh, do you guys not like the idea of me as leader or something?" 

"No, no, we think it's a great idea, don't jump to conclusions," Jisung said before anyone had a chance to open their dumb mouths. 

Minhyun didn't look like he thought it was a great idea, and he barely even seemed like he was trying to hide it. Jaehwan's eyebrows were raised, and Jihoon and Woojin were deliberately avoiding Seongwoo's gaze. 

"I think Seongwoo would be a great leader," Daniel said, rather loudly. 

Jisung stared at him. This was Seongwoo they were talking about, right? Funny guy? Great dancer, good-looking but literally never serious unless it was a really really serious situation? 

Daniel's cheeks coloured that pastel pink. Everyone had joined Jisung to stare at him. "Okay, I'll prove it. Seongwoo, can you get up early?" 

Seongwoo replied at rapid pace. "I'll be up before the dawn, ready to go get you guys to practice." 

Dongho's face soured, followed by Minhyun raising his eyebrows. 

"Okay, I won't get up that early, to be honest, but uh..." 

Jisung cut across him. "Will you be willing to tell us off for our own sakes?" 

Seongwoo's expression said it all. "Um, I mean, I'll try? I mean it'll be nice if we all got told off together and all got to play together..." 

"See, he's perfect!" Daniel said, grinning, "Ong Seongwoo for leader!" 

Jaehwan and Minhyun did not look like they agreed. Jisung didn't want to be mean but he was kind of on their side. Seongwoo was hilarious but he wasn't really leader material. 

Seongwoo smiled as adorably as a man of twenty-four possibly could. "I really wanna do it. I'll do my best, promise!" 

"You know what, what do we have to lose?" Jisung said, beginning to clap. 

Everyone else followed suit and Minhyun reluctantly placed the sticker on his chest. Seongwoo beamed from ear to ear. 

"Okay, back to talking about the centre, where were we?" Sewoon said, diverting the subject once more. 

"I mean, what is there to talk about?" Jinyoung said, shrugging, "It's not like we get to choose anyway so it hardly matters. I mean, Daniel's probably gonna get it anyway." 

Daniel's head snapped up. "What? Why me specifically?" 

Jinyoung shrugged again. "You've won basically every evaluation. Why wouldn't you win this centre thing?" 

Daniel smiled tightly. "I don't know about that." 

"I agree with Daniel," Jisung mumbled, "You know what it's like." 

Dongho narrowed his eyes, which was admittedly terrifying. "What do you mean?" 

"I mean, you should know. Since, y'know." His eyes flitted to the camera. "They're not gonna put Daniel as centre." 

Dongho seemed to cop on and his mouth pressed into a hard line. "Almost forgot," he said, quietly. 

Jinyoung's head was whipping between them. "Uh, what am I missing? Is it to do with --" 

Jihoon kicked him in the shin. "I'll tell you when we're outside, dumbass." 

"It's weirdly convenient, the whole Daehwi thing," Jisung said. 

He couldn't help himself. He wanted to see if others were seeing the same patterns in the Daehwi thing as he was, that it was just him that suspected this sudden change wasn't just to create drama but almost to block a vampire from becoming centre in the final round, when it was most vital. 

Woojin's brow furrowed. "Daehwi thing?" 

"Like Daehwi wins it and he's due to be centre and suddenly it changes how the centre is chosen." 

Woojin's expression shifted, and he frowned. "Why would they...?" Then he met Daniel's eyes and he paused, eyes widening. "Oh." 

"Doesn't matter," Daniel said, waving his hand dismissively, "We should probably focus on the choreo."

"Will we just choose a centre anyway?" Jihoon said, "I mean someone will have to be stand-in for the choreo at least." 

A nodding of heads answered.

"Okay, so who wants to be centre then?" Jisung asked. 

Minhyun, Jihoon and Daniel raised their hands. Daniel's was only half-raised, barely even noticeable. 

"Who definitely doesn't want to be centre?" a staff member suddenly asked, causing everyone's heads to snap upwards. 

Jisung's eyebrows pulled together. The question made him uncomfortable. Like they were trying to make some of the trainees look better. More selfless. Less greedy. 

Jinyoung and Sewoon raised their hands slowly. 

"Um, anyway. How should we try out for who wants to be centre or not?" 

"Expressions," Woojin said, grinning wickedly. 

Jihoon elbowed him in the stomach. "Not a chance, I am not embarrassing myself like that." 

"I mean, you can't really sing it," Dongho pointed out. 

"Expressions it is then," Jisung said, doing his best not to grin wickedly, "I'm prepared for the glorious content I shall receive." 

Seongwoo suddenly spoke up. "I use my power as leader to demand that Daniel go first." 

"Okay, this is an abuse of power, I got you to that position and this is how you repay me?" Daniel said, his hand on his heart, mouth hanging open, "I'm wounded Seongwoo, I really am, like wow. Betrayal." 

"Yeah, yeah, yeah, go and do it," Seongwoo said, smiling from ear to ear. 

Daniel let out a long, laboured sigh. "Fine. Play the music. I'm gonna die of embarrassment." 

Jaehwan patted him on the shoulder. "At least you won't have to watch it." 

"Yeah, but I have to live it, don't I? That's worse." 

The music part came on and Daniel already looked he was ready for death. Finally, the cue came and Daniel stared into the camera as seductively and as embarrassing-ly as humanly possible and half-sung, half-whispered his line. 

It would've been pretty sexy if it hadn't been so painful to watch. 

Daniel collapsed into a heap, wiggling like a worm. "I wanna die. I'll never bee able to erase that from my mind." 

Jisung couldn't help cackling with glee. "And you'll have to live with it for hundreds of years." 

A look of dawning horror broke across Daniel's face and he planted his face in the ground. "I'm gonna flashback to this in like three hundred years and just die of embarrassment on the spot," he mumbled, his voice muffled by the floor. 

"Next candidate, Jihoon!" Seongwoo all but yelled, his beam still absolutely massive, if not more so.

Jihoon did it without much argument, his eyes focusing in on the camera too and sang the line, shaking his finger and then winking to really drive home that sexy factor. He stared at the camera for a few seconds before crumpling, his head in his hands and let out a high-pitched whine.

The wave of laughter and cringing rose up again. 

"What was that finger wiggle? Are you giving out to someone?" Jisung said, trying to hold back his giggles. 

"Shut up, I'm trying," Jihoon mumbled from between his hands, "It's hard. I couldn't think of anything." 

Daniel's face was one of utter repulsion, like he'd seen something that he never wanted to witness again. 

"Will we just move on? Jisung, you wanna go?" Seongwoo said. 

Jisung took a deep breath, preparing himself from the ultimate display of the killing part, to blow everyone else out of the water and to claim the part that was so rightfully his. And then preceded to do the dumbest, cutest, unrelated to the song-est performance thing ever. It was awful. It was horrifying. It was a nightmare to perform. 

Everyone's faces said that they thought the same. 

"Uh, hyung, are we listening to the same song here?" Dongho said, squinting at him. 

"Why do you keep going for cute?" Jaehwan said, "Please stop. It's horrifying to witness. Please. Spare us." 

"My charms are so irresistible that soon all of you will think I'm adorable," he said, his hand on his heart. 

He met a group of raised eyebrows. 

"You know what, I'll stay quiet," he said with as much as anger as he could muster. 

The grins he saw were infuriating and far too numerous. 

"Um, it's Sewoon next, right?" Seongwoo said, doing a better job at this leader stuff than anyone expected.

Sewoon cleared his throat dramatically. "I got this down." He met the camera with another intense gaze, and basically went down the same route as Daniel and Jihoon until the end when he threw in wobbly arms for no good reason at all. 

A burst of giggles were the response. 

"Wow, Sewoon how long did it take you to come up with that one?" Jaehwan said, rolling his eyes. 

"You'd be surprised," Sewoon replied, tapping his temple with his index finger, "Masterminds and geniuses like me can come up with brilliant ideas much faster than the average person. You could never understand." 

Jaehwan just rolled his eyes. 

They ran through the rest of the centre practice like lightning. Everyone went for the same vibe, and everyone seemed just as determined as the last. Last round after all. Last chance to be centre before the official centre was crowned. They eventually when with Jinyoung for centre, probably because everyone liked him, at least a little, and he was a pretty solid dancer, singer and visual. Easy choice. 

There was lull between the discussion of centre and the talk of the choreography. Woojin, Seongwoo and Jihoon seemed to want to push off talking about choreo for a good bit, which was fine but it left a gap in the conversation. 

Sewoon was the one to finally fill it. "Twelve days. Twelve days and then we -- some of us finally get to debut. It's weird to think of it. I almost thought it would never end." 

Jisung nodded. He was still trying to process it. It didn't feel real or tangible or possible. It was like a fleeting dream, visiting for a few moments before vanishing into the void, never to be seen again. Debut had always seemed so far away. It was impossible to look at it differently now and realise that it was just within reach. One more performance and then they'd know. They'd know who of them had actually made it. 

"I'm kind of glad," Jaehwan said, "The entire thing has been so tense. And so long. Soon we'll be able to be done with it. Like I really enjoyed it but it was... yeah."

"Is debuting hard?" Daniel said and Jisung looked up to see him staring at the two NU'EST members. 

Dongho's smile didn't quite reach his eyes. "I don't know if you should be asking us. Debuting was the easy bit. Surviving was the hard part. Especially if you're not on the same budget as the Big 3." 

"I kind of missed this," Minhyun mumbled, out of the blue, "Being a trainee. The only uncertainty then was whether or not your group was gonna debut. Not if your fans liked you, or if you were making money, or if you'd gotten enough sleep or if you'd gotten to enough events to promote your stuff or if you'd worked hard enough on the performance and then to see all the people giving out online, hidden behind anonymity so they could say whatever they wanted and they'd never face repercussions and then be afraid you lose even more fans because of you and..." 

A silence rose for a few moments and he lifted his head to look at them. "I mean, Produce has been a lot closer to idols than trainees. People still talk. You still wonder about fans. Performance still matters. But... I mean, it's kind of not the same. Maybe it's just because Pledis was so small, before Seventeen, but it felt like they hung everything on us at times. And we weren't delivering. And so, we were making like no money and going on barely any music shows and we never knew which album would our last. I mean, Jonghyun took it hardest, because he was the leader and no matter how much we told him it wasn't his fault, it was Pledis', he still blamed himself. Every time we did poorer and poorer, he'd find some way to twist it so that it was him to blame. I thought he'd break over it at some stage." 

There was a long silence before Minhyun continued, his sombre expression matched by Dongho's. "That's not even mentioning how busy our schedules were. And all the paparazzi. And trying to still have some sort of life outside of it, because I didn't want to just exist as Minhyun of NU'EST, I wanted to be Hwang Minhyun, kid from Busan who wanted to do what he loved. It's kind of scary. The thought of you slipping out of your fingers with only this fake persona to replace it." 

The silence that came after it was deafening. 

"You make it seem like you hated it," Dongho said, turning to meet his eyes. 

Minhyun shrugged. "I didn't hate it. It was just hard. Really hard. And now we're fighting for a chance to do it all over again." He smiled tightly. "But it did have its high points. I mean, I did have you guys, which made it all easier."

Baekho grinned. "Wow, Minhyun, I'm touched." 

Minhyun poked him, a smile twitching on his lips. "Don't get cocky." 

"You guys make me not wanna debut," Sewoon said, laughing weakly.

Minhyun's smile grew into a more earnest one. "If you're debuting with a group of friends that you really care about, it's fun. But just be prepared. It's not like you debut and all your problems are solved." 

A heavy silence lingered, one that made the hairs on the back of Jisung's neck stand on end. As hard as debuting was, it seemed better than the alternative: being forced to go back to your parents having wasted all their money and then trying to find a job with barely any qualifications. He didn't want to think about the downsides of being an idol, not now, not when he was so close and so desperate to do it. He only had to rise one place after all. That was it. Then he'd finally be able to debut. Finally able to make his parents proud. Finally able to live his dream that had haunted him for so long. 

He broke that silence, when the weight of it threatened to pull him to the ground with it. His smile felt forced and uncomfortable but he wore it anyway. "Minhyun," he whined in the most over-the-top manner, "You're gonna turn me off debuting. Save it for after I'm in the final eleven, then I can't go back on my decision." 

A sheepish smile greeted him. "Sorry."

He brushed it off with a vague hand gesture. "Now, I got some brilliant ideas for the choreo." 

Daniel's eyes were about to pop out of his head. "You what?" 

Jisung cleared his throat, dramatically as ever and began detailing his excellent ideas for the choreo, to which everyone's face fell further and further the more his described, with gaps for nervous giggles. 

But even as he messed around and the others began giving legitimate ideas for the choreography, Minhyun's words kept circling in his mind, like unstoppable rotor, forcing him to analyse and rethink and relive the moment over and over again. And he couldn't help but wonder why he needed to debut so badly, if all this pain and trouble and fuss was really worth it, if being an idol was as hard as Minhyun described. 

But he didn't dare let go of the determination, the need that had fueled him for so long. He didn't dare. Not until it was too late. So he held it close to him and hoped that he wouldn't regret it. And if he did, he just hoped that he'd be able to live with it. He pushed it to the back of his mind. He had to focus on the dance. He couldn't afford to doubt. Not now. Not when he was so close.

The practicing and rehearsals of the next few days bordered on insanity. Even the first evaluation paled by comparison. Jisung rarely saw anyone go to bed before midnight. He couldn't even give out to the others for it, insist they get the sleep they need -- especially the younger kids, they needed more sleep than most of those in their twenties -- because he was doing the same. 

He saw far too many trainees asleep in the training room. He usually tried to bring blankets with him while practicing, just in case some of the trainees had fallen asleep while taking a break. It was freezing in those training rooms at times. 

Everyone wanted to be centre. This was their last chance to get it and to use it to prove to the audience that they were worthy of their single vote. 

And even if they didn't manage to get centre, they couldn't afford to be less than perfect. If they flubbed the performance that meant less votes and that meant someone else would get into the final eleven in their place. No one was willing to risk that, not now, not when they'd come so far. 

The twelve printed in his chest only pushed him harder, because he was so close. One place. One more place. He was like a gambler who'd almost won but not quite, determined that the next one would be the one that would win it. He'd been in the top eleven before. He could do it again. He could rise up again. He had to. 

Even if Minhyun had made him doubt, for the slightest of moments, he was too drunk on the atmosphere of determination to doubt himself anymore. He couldn't afford to let his parents down. To have wasted all their money, all their time in pursuit of the impossible. He couldn't let Daniel debut on his own, not when he'd made a promise, not when he'd sworn otherwise. He couldn't let Daehwi debut alone, if Jonghyun didn't manage to get through, not now when he was so fragile and hurt and scared. He didn't want to have to leave Woojin or Jihoon or Seongwoo or Samuel or even Jonghyun and Minhyun and Jinyoung. He'd made too many friends, had too many people he cared about to just let them leave him. He wouldn't be able to bear watching them move on, promote as the second IOI without him. 

He didn't give a shit if he was being selfish, not anymore. He wanted to debut. He needed to debut. He didn't give a shit if he was old or ugly or not the best dancer, he wanted it and clearly the audience wanted him to get it too, to some degree. He just needed to convince them a little more. That was all. One place. 

Each evaluation from the coaches put him on edge, still. Even when the atmosphere did ease up for a bit around them, especially when Seongwoo did something stupid but hilarious or someone messed up in the funniest way possible. Everyone could just relax for a few moments and not think about the impending debut evaluation.

It wasn't like the other evaluations, where it was all anyone talked about the entire time leading up to it. No one ever seemed to mention it, like the mere act of doing so would jinx it. 

So even as choreographies began to take shape and centres began to be singled out, it was only ever mentioned in hushed whispers. Jisung was glad for it, more so than he could put into words. Everyone was already thinking of it enough as it was. He didn't particularly want to talk about it too. 

Even amidst all the tension and fear and pressure, Jisung found that he was weirdly enjoying it. A lot. It was stressful and hard and taxing but he'd be lying if he said it wasn't fun. More so than even the previous rounds. He really liked the song for one. And it gave him a chance to be sexy for once... which was kind of a weird sensation, trying to be something he hadn't really tried out, but a good one. Like the ache after working out on a muscle that had long since grown weak. Every other performance he'd been part of had been very clearly upbeat and bouncy and dumb, sort of like him, like the version of him that existed on Produce 101 (with the exception of Downpour) but Hands on Me let him be something else. 

It almost felt like he was leaving the scared, funny, insecure and friendly Yoon Jisung behind, to become someone else, if only for a few moments. 

It was the day right before the recording of the performance, with everyone getting a chance to be centre, where tensions were highest and stress was at its peak when everyone relaxed, for the first time in a very long time. Seongwoo said they should finish up practice up earlier than usual, to get a break and some sleep before the performance. Which Jisung was eternally grateful for.

He all but collapsed on the ground. "Finally," he whined, "I'm so tired I'm gonna die. Like just straight up melt." 

Daniel even seemed to be worn through, his jumper damp with sweat and his breathing heavy. "Yeah, same. And so sleep-deprived." 

Dongho let out a noise in agreement. "I've slept like three hours this entire week." 

Minhyun stared at him. 

Red crept up his cheeks. "Uh. Maybe it wasn't three but like it was close." 

"Why does Minhyun act like he's the hyung when you're older, Dongho?" Woojin asked, who was lying down and leaned his head back to stare at him. 

"Because," Minhyun said, "And he's only like three weeks older than me so it barely counts." 

"He only acts like this in front you guys. Around us, he's a giant weirdo."

Minhyun's mouth formed an 'o', eyes widening. "I'm not!" 

"Mhm," Dongho said, scepticism dripping from his voice, "Sure."

Sewoon pulled the conversation back to the original topic. "Oh yeah, you guys have like a massive maknae line."

"I mean, we thought it was four out of five members but y'know, then it turned out that Jonghyun was 148 and not 24, so he was kicked out of the maknae line," Dongho said, as though it was a great tragedy, sighing deeply, "A bit sad, but y'know, still 60 percent of the band is maknae line, so..." 

"So Minki doesn't get to be babied as much as he wants. He's vicious anyway, so we baby Dongho and Aron instead."

Dongho aimed a kick at Minhyun, but missed by a mile. 

"Improve your aim, stupid." 

"Fuck off, stupider." 

"The complexity of these insults is mind-blowing," Jisung said, nodding. 

"Weird to think you guys have been together for like seven years. Like I'm already getting annoyed by Daehwi and I've been around him for two years," Woojin said, dragging his hands down his face, "And I'm gonna have to debut with him, even if I don't make it into the second IOI. At least he's kind of cute. I'm half-convinced it's a defence mechanism so that we don't kick him out the door." 

Jisung sat up. "Wait, you're gonna debut even if you don't make it into the final eleven?" 

Woojin hesitated but nodded. "Yeah. Me, Youngmin, Daehwi, Donghyun and a few other guys are gonna debut. Produce is kind of to get us noticed. So that we don't have to work so hard when debut." 

Jisung's eyebrows pulled together. "Who else is gonna debut anyway?" 

Minhyun, Dongho and Jinyoung raised their hands. 

"We'll probably just go back to NU'EST," Dongho said, shrugging, "Hopefully it'll mean we actually make money this time. And it won't mean disbandment." 

Everyone's eyes drifted to Jinyoung. 

"Solo debut? You're the only C9 trainee, right?" Sewoon asked. 

Jinyoung shook his head, eyes on the ground. "Uh, no. Um. It's gonna be a group. They only sent me though." 

Seongwoo frowned, eyebrows pinching together. "Are you their ace or..." 

Everyone knew what the or meant. Was Jinyoung, the hopeless case, the one who needed something like Produce 101 to improve, because otherwise he wouldn't have been in the line up to debut? 

Jinyoung chewed on his lip. "I don't think so," he mumbled. 

They left it at that. No one wanted to poke or prod at something so vulnerable, so painful. Finding out wouldn't benefit anyone. 

To some degree, it made Jisung angry. That they were using something that was last chance for debut for trainees like him as a marketing method, to sell their band members before debuting them. They didn't have to worry about getting through, because even if they didn't, they would just return to a different debut. It wouldn't hold them back. It wasn't a matter of life and death to them, the last chance in a series of last chances, the final barrier between achieving their dreams instead of having to fall to the ordinary and mundane. MMO had never even brought up an after if they failed in Produce. It was Produce or nothing. That was all they had left, all he had left. The final shot. 

But he couldn't bring himself to get mad. They hadn't chosen to go on Produce 101. They'd been told by their company to go there. They didn't know if their debuts would be successful, even outside of of Produce. If they'd end up like NU'EST. Making no money. Viewed as failures. Maybe it'd help them avoid intense desperation that forced him to go onto a show as a trainee, alongside trainees much younger and more talented. So he just pushed his fury down, to a place where he couldn't find it.

"Ah well," he said, lying back down, "Lucky. MMO hasn't debuted anyone for years." 

"Switch companies then," Jaehwan said, "No point in hanging around if they're not gonna debut you." 

Jisung hesitated before replying. He hadn't thought of that. He'd assumed that no one else would be willing to take him. He wasn't nearly as talented as Daniel or Daehwi. They'd managed to switch companies but he doubted he'd be able to. But maybe. Maybe Produce could give him the popularity he need. To make companies want to take him on. 

"Y'know what, maybe I will." 

Jaehwan grinned. "Go for it, hyung." 

"I don't know if anyone will want to take me if I switch companies," Daniel said, almost out of nowhere, "I've already switched once in two years, for one, and there's the whole vampire thing..." His face was falling as spoke. 

Bile rose up his throat. He'd forgotten about Daniel. He couldn't just leave Daniel behind if he switched companies. He didn't want to leave him in MMO with no hope of debut. He couldn't. 

"Isn't KQ debuting an all-vampire group?" he said, hesitantly. 

Daniel looked up, eyebrows practically disappearing in his hairline. "Huh?" 

Similar expressions were on some of the other trainees' faces. 

"An all-vampire group?" Sewoon said, with wide eyes, "Are they crazy? Didn't Block B separate from them and they earn like no money from them? They don't have the money to deal with it if it flops."

"It's not gonna flop," Jihoon said firmly, "No one else has done it before and Daniel's kind of proved there is a market for vampires. Plus, imagine how good of performers they are. If they're older than Jonghyun, they're gonna be unreal." 

Sewoon just looked doubtful but he didn't say anything. 

"I mean SM, YG and JYP have a load of vampires, both debuted and trainees," Minhyun said, "They just act like they don't. But Jonghyun said they definitely did and that he even knew some of them. I think..." He bit his lip before continuing. "I think even one of the BTS members' is a vampire."

Jisung's head whipped to Minhyun, but Jinyoung spoke first. 

"A BTS member?" he said in a hushed tone, like he was privy to some big secret. To be fair, it was probably was a pretty big secret. "Do you know which one?" 

Dongho and Minhyun shook their heads simultaneously. "Obviously Jonghyun wouldn't tell us," Dongho said, "I mean I wouldn't tell us either, to be fair. All we know is that he's almost the same age as Jonghyun."

Sewoon laughed almost incredulously. "Next we're gonna find out an EXO member is a vampire too." 

Jisung bit his lip. He was not saying anything. Not a word. Nope. 

"Who do you think it is?" Jinyoung asked, looking around at them with wide eyes. 

"I don't think we should guess," Seongwoo said, his voice suddenly firm, "He's entitled to his privacy. He hasn't told the public for a reason: he doesn't want them to know." 

Woojin suddenly spoke up. "Yeah, Daehwi mentioned that he'd seen one of the Twice members carrying a blood bag around in her bag when we were JYP trainees. Probably kicked off that vampire obsession to be honest." 

"Okay, what the fuck," Sewoon said, "Does every big kpop group have a vampire member? Is it like tradition?" 

"They're probably pretty good leaders," Jihoon said, "I mean, most of them are pretty old. So y'know they're probably wise. Or something." 

Minhyun raised his eyebrows, glancing at Dongho, who looked like he was barely holding back laughter. "Uh, sure. They're wise." 

"Daniel doesn't seem particularly wise," Woojin pointed out. 

"Thanks, Woojin," Daniel said, finally rousing from his silence. 

"Just saying." 

"Daniel's a baby vampire though, so he doesn't count," Jihoon said 

"Thanks, Jihoon," Daniel said, sounding even more fed up than the first thanks. 

"He's also a dumbass so that doesn't help," Jisung added. 

"Any more insults?" Daniel said, looking around the room. 

"Yeah, stop snoring so loudly. You don't even need to breathe," Seongwoo said. He earned a kick from Daniel, straight into the ribs. 

"And, Jisung aren't you the almighty dumbass?" Jihoon said, smiling innocently. 

"Daniel may, unfortunately take my crown," he said, with as much dramatic sadness as he could muster, trying and failing to fake cry, "I had a good run though. Don't forget me." 

"Wait, we're getting off-topic," Jinyoung said, clearly wanting o take Daehwi's place as the vampire obsessor, "D'you reckon any other groups have vampires?" 

"Mamamoo," Woojin said, deadpan. 

Jinyoung rolled his eyes. "I mean, not ones whose entire concept is that they're a half-vampire, half-human group." 

"Maybe you could transfer to RBW?" Jisung said, turning to Daniel. 

"Uh, I don't think I'm a good enough singer." 

"Rap instead you idiot. Does Moonbyul sing?" 

Daniel's cheeks coloured pink. "Oh, yeah." 

"Those KQ guys," Seongwoo said, just as deadpan as Woojin. 

"Wow, not like Jisung told us that a few seconds ago," Jinyoung said, folding his arms and glaring. 

"Haknyeon mentioned something about someone in the group he's going to debut with being a vampire," Dongho said, glancing at Daniel, who didn't look back at him, "But he didn't say anything other than the guy was only like thirty." 

"Oh yeah, there was a JYP trainee who was in talks to debut who was a vampire," Woojin said, blinking, before pausing, "He was the kind of unnervingly pretty vampires, y'know?" 

"And I'm not?" Daniel said, voice indignant, jerking his head up. 

Woojin flushed. "I dunno how I'm meant to reply to that." 

"Don't worry Daniel, I think you're attractive," Seongwoo said, because of course he did. 

"Hey, maybe you changing companies won't be so hard if all these groups are debuting with vampires," Jaehwan said, raising his eyebrows. 

Daniel just shrugged weakly.

"How about Astro?" Sewoon asked, looking over at Seongwoo. 

Seongwoo's jaw clenched. "Just because I'm in the same company, doesn't mean I know them intimately. And even if I did know, I wouldn't tell you." 

Sewoon turned to Jihoon, who frowned. "If any of them were vampires, they didn't tell me. And I agree with Seongwoo. I'm not gonna tell you something they wouldn't tell you themselves." 

Sewoon and Jinyoung looked crestfallen.

"I mean, if we're being realistic, probably NCT," Jaehwan said, "There's like fifteen of them at the moment, right? At least one of them's gotta be a vampire."

The expectant eyes turned back to Jihoon. 

"You were an SM trainee, right?" Sewoon said. 

Jisung stared at Jihoon. "Uh, how many times did you change companies?" 

"Only twice, shut up," Jihoon said, folding his arms. 

"You made it into SM and you left?" Minhyun said, eyes almost popping out of his skull. 

Jihoon shrugged. "I only stayed there for a little while. And I didn't think I was gonna debut in a company that big. There was like forty other trainees." 

"So you changed to Fantagio, almost debuted with Astro, got injured and then you changed company again?" Jisung said, trying to map it out in his head, "I was happy to get into one company. How did you manage to get into three?"

"I suppose everything is a step down from SM," Dongho said, "Like most of the debuted idols are scouted, right?" 

Minhyun elbowed him. "Hey. I was scouted --"

"So was I!" Dongho shot back, throwing his hands in the air, "Your point?"

"Uh, what about the NCT members who are vampires," Jinyoung said, cutting through Dongho and Minhyun's conversation.

"Guys, how about we stop trying to reveal stuff people don't want found out?" Daniel said, loudly.

Jinyoung looked like he wanted to protest but the intense glare from Daniel shut him up, albeit unwillingly. 

"Will we run over it once more?" Seongwoo said, standing up, "And then we can head off to bed, to get some sleep for once." 

Everyone nodded, with varying degrees of willingness and climbed to their feet. Jisung was kind of glad for it. He didn't want to talk any more about all the messy stuff that their conversations seemed to continuously fall back to: the future, vampires and debuting. Things he mostly didn't want to think too hard about. 

Seongwoo turned on the music and Jisung tried to focus on that instead on all the stuff that had come before. Last chance to try and perfect the details before the recording for choosing the centre tomorrow. It would probably be fine, it always seemed to be but it didn't stop him from worrying. He tried to just focus on the dance. Not tomorrow. Not the past. Not the thought of having to change companies if he didn't make it into the final eleven. Not the thought of never debuting. Not the thought of giving all this up to find a office job. Not the thought of Daniel not being able to find a different company because of the whole vampire thing. Not the thought of the ranking or how close debut was and so how far it was at the same time. Not any of it. He dared to push it from his mind and just focus on the beats of the music and them moves. 

Seongwoo counted them in and he slipped into it, his worries washing away before he was even aware of their disappearance.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I hope I managed to get the Minhyun-Dongho interactions right 😅 and I hope you guys enjoyed it :D  
> I had wayyyy too much fun mapping out who the vampires were and figuring how many to put in each kpop generation (spoiler but not really: there's a lotttttt of 4th gen vampires. A lot.). But yeah, wanna make any guesses as to who's who? ;3


	33. XXXII

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> We're literally so close to the end that I can like taste it xD   
> Anyway, this chapter is really emotional and kind of angsty but mostly like... good emotions? XD I dunno, but it's probably one of my favourites. And my beta reader said it was one of my best so hopefully you guys like it too :3

Recording the videos for choosing the centre took surprisingly little time. Nothing went drastically wrong for anyone. Everyone was pretty solid as centre, bringing their own unique charm to the position and enhancing different aspects of the song. Choosing a centre would be tricky, much harder than he'd anticipated. It wasn't like the last few rounds where the centre had always stood out, as clear as day, like they were on fire. It was muddy and complicated and unpredictable. Even a betting man wouldn't dare gamble on it. 

Watching the recordings back didn't make it any easier. And everyone wanted it. Everyone needed it. So many of them wanted to claim that last push into the final eleven and centre could do that. Surely the last centre was a sure fire way into the second IOI.

The compliments were tense, reluctantly given -- like everyone was afraid they'd point out something that would turn it someone's else's favour. Only Dongho seemed to be giving them freely, but only likely because he didn't really care for the centre role. Considering he was Subvocal 6, Jisung wasn't sure if that was a good stance to have. 

So, as he went to cast his vote for centre, he couldn't figure out who would've made objectively the best centre. Daniel was as perfect and charismatic and burning with passion, like a beacon of light and fire, as ever -- but his injured arm led to him holding back, much more than usual, hesitating when he'd normally attack. 

Jinyoung was surprisingly good, somehow managing to pull off a surprising amount of sexiness and mystery, despite the baby face and the usually cute demeanour -- but that was exactly the problem. He was much too babyish looking. And he was still a minor. 

Jihoon's dancing threatened Daniel's in his perfection, his expressions enhancing each move and making him look unnervingly far from wink boy with the sultry gazes he was giving the camera -- but he too was a minor and his dancing verged on too perfect, too robotic. 

Minhyun burned cold, his sex appeal coming more from his aloof, piercing stares, paired with his height and beauty to make him look like a character straight out of a kdrama -- but his dancing didn't come close to the others and he had a tendency to slip up right when it counted most. 

Woojin's normally cute smile morphed into a smirk, his stage presence matched only by his dancing and rapping skills -- but he couldn't really sing the killing part and he seemed to lose confidence when he had to. 

Seongwoo was a good dancer and singer, with a smouldering gaze and visuals to match -- only he faltered on more than one occasion when he had to sing and do some of the more difficult moves, causing his perfection and sexiness to momentarily break. 

Jisung spent what felt like an eternity deciding. He wrote and scribbled out and rethought and rewrote. Even as he decided to just go with Daniel, doubt lingered at the back of his head. 

It hardly mattered anyway. Jinyoung won. Jisung found himself more disapppointed than he'd expected. He'd been hoping but he should've known better. Daniel was injured. He wasn't performing to the best of his ability.

So they continued on practice as usual. If anything, it had eased off, just a little. They weren't all contesting for centre. They were still contesting for the more important thing, a position in the second IOI, but in comparison to the immediacy of the choosing of centre, it seemed like it was in the far off future. Even if it was a week away. A week. A week and it'd all be over. Their performance would be judged they'd have to hope the audience had them in their good books at the time. 

And as it moved closer, the training grew more intense again. Seongwoo was surprisingly did a good job a pacing everyone and making sure they all actually got some sleep and not just three hours worth. He was more grateful for it than he could put into words. At least one of them had some of their priorities straight. 

And then, to add to the pressure they were already under, Mnet made the 20 of them learn off a second song. Thankfully, there was no dance to accompany it and it was just a ballad-type song with only a few lines given to each trainee. But vocal coaching was still necessary, and alongside practice for the new song, there went a massive chunk of their training time for Hands On Me, right when they needed it most. 

And not only that, Always was a hard song to sing. It screamed of ending, of finality, of the fact that soon, so soon it was within arm's reach, eleven of them would be in the second IOI and if it was anything like the first, they would be massive. They'd not only be idols, not only have finally debuted, they'd be famous. They'd have a shot at being the Nation's boy group. A shot at being the biggest thing in Korea since BTS. 

Jisung wasn't sure how to feel about that. He'd seen so many others fall. He'd worked his butt off to get here and still, some part of him wasn't sure if he deserved it. He couldn't even comprehend Produce 101 ending. It seemed like it would last into infinity. It had become his life. He didn't know what he'd do without it. 

He didn't know what he'd do if he had to go back to being a trainee. After everything, after his taste of fame, taste of being a real idol, of those breathtaking highs and crushing lows and looking back, he loved every fucking second of it, as painful as it had been, as much as his muscles ached after those late-night training sessions, as much as each failure caused his heart to ache, as much as each drop in ranking caused his stomach to ball up and his eyes to sting -- all of it, he loved all of it, every minute, every painful second. 

And now it was ending. 

The recording was especially painful. Everyone was messing around as usual, and doing dumb stuff and joking and playing and yet... it felt like lying just beneath the fun and games, there was genuine, visceral sadness, like one Jisung had never felt before, so painful and so heart-rending, it hurt to be around. No one cried. But a lot of them sure as hell came close. It felt like whenever he glanced at another trainee, with a grin or after a joke, their eyes were wet and tears were just on the verge of spilling, but never quite making it out. He'd be lying if he said he hadn't almost cried. He'd nearly done it more than once in that session, at the strangest things. Things he didn't think he'd miss. Seonho's constant chatter, Seongwoo's stupid slate clapping, Jaehwan's maniacal laughter, Dongho's giggling, Minhyun's comments about how dirty the dorms were, Samuel's back-and-forth with Woojin, all of that, he already missed all of it and he hadn't even left it yet. 

And then Mnet made him kind of not miss it in one fell swoop when they were forced to relive their past videos. 

"Okay, I was feeling sad about leaving," Jisung said as the faces of the 20 trainees from three months back started to appear on the massive screen in front of them, "Not anymore. Get me out of here before I have to see past me." 

"Yeah, I'm gonna join you on that," Daniel said, laughing weakly, "Will we bolt while no one's looking--" 

A feral scream erupted from Jinyoung as his younger self appeared on the screen, sounding like something out of a movie gag or a dying animal. 

"Please stop it, I'm gonna die," Jinyoung said, looking like he was almost about to burst into tears. 

Guanlin was next and it was just as embarrassing and cringey. 

"Yeah, let's run, I'm literally gonna melt into a puddle of shame if I have to see myself," Jisung said, "I can't even remember what I did for my audition but I know it wasn't good." 

"This is like... mental torture. They want to torture us before we perform," Daniel said, his eyes fixed on past Jaehwan trying to dance, "It should be a crime. This is straight-up torture." 

Jisung winced, grinning even as Jaehwan's maniacal laughter reached his ears. "I don't know what's worse, me going blind by watching this or going deaf as a result of Jaehwan's laugh." 

Each one just seemed to be worse than the last. 

"What. What is he doing?" Daniel asked, staring at the Minhyun on screen moving his body weirdly. 

"Don't take my word for it but... I think he's trying to dance," Jisung whispered, laughter bubbling in his throat. 

Minhyun turned around. "You guys still haven't turned up so wait for a bit before you begin dissing my dancing skills." 

"You're the one who's shaking your butt on screen, I really don't think we could've done worse than that," Jisung shot back. 

Minhyun's cheeks burned. "I was trying to be funny," he mumbled, burying his head in his hands, "I have no idea what I was thinking." 

"Now it's been immortalised on screen," Daniel said, grinning, "I'm gonna play this at your wedding." 

"You can't say much," Jisung said, turning to him, "You look awful. That pink hair haunts my nightmares." 

Daniel wiggled his eyebrows. "Yeah, but it kinda looks good though." 

Jisung stared at him. "In what universe?" 

"I'm on Jisung's side," Daehwi whispered from beside them, "It looked so bad. I literally didn't want to talk to you for like a week because of it." 

"Thanks, Daehwi." 

"What? I'm just saying!" 

Jisung was ready to fire off an insult when the atmosphere shifted. He looked back to the screen to see their past selves addressing their parents. 

"Has it been a hundred days already?" Daehwi said softly, the sole voice in the silence. 

Jisung had all but forgotten about the letters. He hadn't expected them to be brought back up again. He found, weirdly, that he missed his family, All of them. His mom and his dad and even Seulgi, a little. He hadn't seen them in so long. He missed being able to visit them regularly, being able to go home and chat with them and eat with them and complain and go do family stuff. He hadn't had a chance to think about in the middle of all of this. 

It hurt a lot more than he expected. Remembering the small stuff. His mom crying about his broadcast. His dad hadn't but he'd seen him and he'd come strangely close, for a figure who was normally so distant. Sohee, of course, had been as annoying as ever but it was his annoying. She was annoying in the best way. The little sister way. 

Unexpected tears pricked at his eyes and he leaned on Daniel's shoulder beside him. The cold was calming, like a cooling pool of water, unlike all the burning emotions in his chest. He felt Daniel freeze under him and for a moment, he regretted it. He'd shown too much weakness, to the one person he was meant to be invulnerable for. He had to be the eldest, the responsible one, the one who was strong for the younger ones even when he really wasn't and this was ruining it and he wanted to push those insecurities and emotions down, back to their place in the depths of his mind where he could ignore them. He moved to sit up. To pretend it all never happened. 

And then Daniel relaxed and leaned his head on top of his. It was Jisung's turn to freeze. He knew he'd made that promise to Daniel, to open up and ask for help but he thought it had been solely for himself. But Daniel was guiding it. Pushing him towards being vulnerable. Towards being open. So he melted into the coolness of Daniel's embrace and let the calm wash over him. 

Daniel's came next, albeit only a few words of it, but his expression, his avoidance of the camera, his shoulders trembling ever so slightly, all of it hurt to look at. He'd forgotten. He'd forgotten how much harder it had been at the start of all of it. He'd gotten used to the Daniel who'd adjusted, if only a little, who'd begun to try to understand everything about the world he was now a part of, who was growing into his position as the vampire trainee. It made looking at the past Daniel so much harder than he imagined. It made him think of all the moments he'd rather forget. That he'd forgotten. If Daniel was as bothered by it as he was, he didn't mention it. He thought he heard his breathing grow heavier, almost watery but a glance over at him showed nothing but a faint smile. 

"I'm just glad I'm out of it," Daniel mumbled, his voice so low he almost missed it, "Just happy to be past the hardest parts." 

Jisung let it slide. He believed him. If he was lying, he could harass him later about it. Not now. Not when everything was so sensitive. 

Samuel's came last before the camera pulled out to show middle-aged woman with an unmistakable resemblance to Samuel. Everyone's heads whipped over to him. His mouth hung open. 

"Mom?" he whispered. 

And then it flicked through the others, showing parent and parent and Jisung held his breath, hoping his parents would be there. He needed them to be there. He hadn't seen their faces in so long he was afraid he'd forget them soon. And then suddenly, it stopped on his mother and she was addressing him. 

He hadn't heard her voice in so long. He didn't think it would hurt this much to hear it again. He wanted to hug her. He wanted to cry into her arms about everything, about how hard it'd all been, about how much it all hurt. He wanted to be back with her at home again.

He hung onto her every word, every smile, every gesture and it only made his heart ache even more, even as he smiled. He didn't want her on a screen. He wanted the real thing. It would have to do though. Until this show was over. The first thing he'd do was go and return to her. Talk to her again. Hug her again. 

It ended far too quickly and she slipped from his fingers as Seonho's mom replaced her. It cycled through most of the trainees' families, Jaehwan and Seongwoo and Sewoon and Haknyeon and on and on and on. And then as the screen faded to black, Jisung realised there'd only been sixteen parents who'd shown up. He hadn't seen Daniel's mother, for one. 

He glanced over at the others and Guanlin's conflicted expression and Daehwi's trembling hands gave away another two. Three out of four. Who else? 

Then his eyes drifted over to Jonghyun and he grimaced. He looked more upset than Jisung had ever seen him before. Of course his parents weren't going to appear. Unless Mnet had figured out how to bring people back to life. 

Minki reached out and rubbed him on the shoulder. Jonghyun looked over at him and smiled but it was clearly a pained one. It had to be hard. Seeing everyone else reunited with their parents for a little bit when your own were long dead. 

He glanced over to Daniel, opening his mouth to say something but he forgot it the minute he saw Daniel's face. 

Everyone in the room was teary-eyed but Daniel looked completely devastated. His eyes were red-rimmed, his shoulders were shaking and his face was chalk-white, like he was about to vomit. His gaze was locked on the black screen, like he expected his mother to suddenly appear, like a strange surprise. 

Jisung opened and closed his mouth several times before he said anything. "She wouldn't forget you. And she loves you too much to ignore you." 

Daniel turned him and his eyes hurt to look at. "I don't think so, hyung," he said in a hushed voice, "I thought my dad loved me too." 

Jisung couldn't respond to that. 

He didn't have to. The door swung open and a woman walked in, her smile bright. He squinted at her, and half-turned to Jihoon to ask him if he knew who she was when a cry erupted from one of the trainees near him. 

Daehwi. 

It was Daehwi's mom. He looked back at her, something akin to reverent awe building in his chest. He couldn't believe a parent had actually come all the way to see her son. Been so willing to face the cameras and put her identity out in the public and go on national television to comfort her son. 

Daehwi's eyes had grown huge, and his mouth hung open. He was frozen to the spot as she approached him and even as everyone moved out of the way to let her pass, like a sea parting, he remained immobile. 

Then she wrapped her arms around him and the messy sobs and tears came surging forward. His pale arms slipped beneath hers and he buried his face in her shoulder. He hiccuped and coughed and gasped and she stayed calm, rubbing circles into his back and whispering into his ear. They stayed locked into embrace for what seemed like forever, Daehwi clinging so tightly that it seemed like he would never let go. 

When they finally broke away, it was a reluctant motion. Daehwi moved forward for a second before sitting back, like he wanted to return to the warmth and protection of his mother's hug.

She caressed his cheek gently, a soft smile to accompany it. "You've gotten so cold, sweetie," she said, "It's much scarier than I imagined. I would've loved to have brought you cakes or something but I had to settle to this." She unclasped her purse and handed him two packets of blood. 

He stared up at her with wide eyes, the crimson tears still carving a path down his pale cheeks. "But, Mom, they're so expensive, I -- I --" 

"Shh," she whispered, kissing him so carefully on the cheek that it made seem like he was made of glass, "It wasn't that much. I'm just glad you're safe. I heard about that awful woman, I'm just so happy you made it out okay and I still have you with me." Her voice was watery. "I couldn't lose you too." 

A violent sob shoved its way out of Daehwi's chest. "I -- Jonghyun and Daniel and Jisung and Seongwoo and everyone helped --" 

She glanced over at them and her eyes were brimming with tears but she smiled brightly anyway. "Thank you. I can't express my gratitude enough to you." 

Jisung just bowed. He didn't want to say anything. Just in case he was intruding. He didn't want to push in on something so personal. 

She pulled Daehwi back into another tight hug and he melted into it with no hesitation. 

The door opened again and Jisung searched the trainees' faces this time, at rapid pace. Guanlin's face shifted so rapidly that it caught Jisung off guard. His mouth hung open and his eyes glistened with tears under the bright lights.

A man and a younger girl walked in. Guanlin's dad and sister. They were the ones who Jisung least expected, to be truthful. He hadn't expected anyone to fly all the way from Taiwan to Korea, just to see their son. They must've really loved him, held his dream so close to their hearts.

It was more tearful hugs, more sweet words exchanged, more comforting. It was almost painful to watch. It made him want to see his mother in person that much more. A glance at Daniel told him that the other trainee thought the same. 

Guanlin just looked like he was in awe for the entirety of it. Like a man wandering, unaware of his surroundings. They began speaking rapidly in Cantonese, Guanlin shaking his head the entire time, his eyes so huge they made saucers look small by comparison. 

Then, right when he was getting ready to sit down again, the door opened again. Daniel froze beside him. Jisung whipped his head around to the door, almost daring to hope. 

And there she was. 

Daniel's mom. She'd come. She'd actually come. Some part of Jisung didn't quite believe it but the evidence was standing right there in front of him. 

A loud, heaving sob burst from Daniel's chest, so sudden that Jisung almost jumped. His hand was covering his face, shaking as it did so. 

His mother's face softened, that distinct hardness slipping away and she walked over to her son with slow deliberate strides. As she moved closer, Daniel half-turned away from her, his entire body shaking with violent sobs. 

When she finally closed the gap, and it seemed to take forever, she reached up to his cheek and touched it so tenderly, so carefully, it was like she was touching a stray kitten for the first time. 

It was Daniel who moved first. He almost seemed to stumble into a hug, wrapping his arms around her clumsily, his body still trembling. He hunched down as much as he could. He looked so small, so afraid, so distraught that Jisung wanted to look away. He hadn't seen him so broken in so long. 

His mother tensed, before her arms moved slowly upwards to wrap around him. "I'm sorry," she said, at long last, "I'm sorry for leaving." 

Daniel just shook his head, his breaths still heavy and ragged, punctuated by sobs. 

"I love you," she whispered, "I love you so much, and I'm so sorry for everything I said, and I'm so sorry for everything your father said. I love you." 

Daniel just nodded. He buried his head in her shoulder, and with it those blood tears that were beginning to slide down his cheeks. 

A silence hung in the air, heavy and uncomfortable. Daniel still said nothing, but his sobs were the only thing that dared disturb that disquieting silence. 

His mother broke it once more. "Please say something, sweetie," she said, soft and terrified.

That silence returned and it hung there for a little while longer as Daniel continued to cry so violently into his mother's shoulder that it seemed like he was vomiting. 

Finally, in the depths of that uncomfortable silence, Daniel spoke. "I thought you weren't coming."

She flinched back, like she'd been struck. "Why would you think that, sweetheart?" 

A deep, shuddering breath. "I thought that... that after Dad you were gonna do the same. L-leave me. Pretend I didn't exist." 

Jisung saw splashed across Daniel's mother features for the barest of moments, something he least expected. Raw fury. She looked like she was ready to tear someone to shreds. But it faded, vanishing before Jisung even had a chance to truly process what happened. 

"What your father did was cruel," she started.

"You don't have to tell me that," Daniel mumbled, his grip tightening on her top for a moment before loosening once more. 

She continued on, as though she hadn't heard him. "I wish I could tear the face off him for what he did. I wish I could yell at him so much that he'd see reason, that he'd understand that you are more important than his job ever was. That you, as his only child, should be that which he treasures most in the world." 

Daniel had gone very quiet, his sniffling barely audible. 

"But I can't. He's a fool, and he's a cruel one. His heart is broken and I think he wanted to tear yours out in response." She paused. "He blames you. He's too blind to see it was our faults. That we were too extreme, that we were too violent, that our position as the greatest and cruelest hunters in Busan was like carving a target into our foreheads. Someone was bound to take revenge someway or other. I hate that you had to suffer the blow but I can't do anything to change the past. I can only apologise and hope I have the strength and morality to be better in the future." 

Daniel's soft breaths were loud in the silence. "You know I want to love him." 

"Of course. He's your father. He's been your father for your whole life." 

"I can't. I can't forgive him. I want to love him, and some part of me does and I hate myself for it because it makes it all so painful because I hate him and I love him and..." His words fell into sobs. 

"Shh, sweetie, I have you. You don't have to forgive him. You owe nothing to him. You've done nothing. He's in the wrong. I know it's hard, I know it is but maybe him leaving is a good thing. He was always suffocating you with all that hunter stuff. And God knows you were never as good at as you were at dancing." 

Daniel nodded into her shoulder, his breathing heavy. "I love you," he whispered, "Thank you for coming." 

She hugged him tighter. "It was the least I could do, sweetie. I owe an apology for everything I said. I was angry and scared and hateful. I said some awful things and I never should have said them. But I can't change it so all I can do is make amends." 

"'S okay," he mumbled into her shoulder, his voice muffled. 

"It really wasn't. And I'm sorry. I'm just glad you have friends much wiser than I am." She fixed her piercing gaze on Jisung and it took everything in his power to not flinch away. But her smile softened it. He couldn't help the edges of his mouth tugging upwards. 

Daniel laughed weakly into her shoulder, still attached to her. 

She pulled away from him, finally breaking the hug that seemed eternal. Daniel moved back, standing up to his full height, his face a mess of bloody tears. 

His mother pulled out a tissue and spat into it. Daniel's nose wrinkled. Before he could do anything, she began rubbing his face viciously, getting rid of the blood in what seemed like the most violent way possible. 

"Mom, please, not here, it's disgusting --" Daniel said, his cheeks flushed pastel pink, but his mother just ignored him, still wiping as though she was trying to rub away his entire face. 

It took surprisingly little time for her to get rid of all the blood. Maybe moms were onto something with that technique. She stepped back, those sharp eyes surveying her handiwork before they softened, and a small smile spread across her face. 

"I haven't had a chance to look at you properly," she whispered, "It suits you. I didn't expect it to, but then again I never expected you to be a vampire. You look handsome." 

That pale pink became more vivid than ever before. "Mom," he whined, but there was something softer, something loving underneath. 

"It's probably for the best," she said, and the small smile looked so tired all of a sudden, "I'm going to have to look at that face until I die. And you're going to have to look at it for a whole lot longer." 

The annoyed smile slipped off Daniel's face. "I know," he mumbled, "I know." He looked like he wanted to say something else but he let it fade into air, unspoken. 

They settled back into their seats and Jisung sat down on to the floor to let Daniel's mother sit down beside her. She kept insisting otherwise but he wanted them to have some family time. It was the least he could've done. Daniel really needed it. After what had happened with his dad... 

Jisung didn't want to linger on it. He just wanted to leave it in the depths of the past, inaccessible and forgotten, just like the man who'd created the whole event. It hurt a little, to see Daniel and his mother together when he felt like he was so far from his own but he didn't let it control him. He wasn't going to let jealousy get in the way of Daniel's happiness. He'd see his family soon enough. After Produce 101. 

Then he could spend as much time with them as he wanted. So close. Not much longer. Soon. Soon he'd be with them. One last round. 

For now, he'd let Daniel bask in his much-needed happiness and do his best to accommodate it. That would be enough.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Yay for mostly happy family reunions :D   
> I'm getting really reminisc-y in these last few chapters so I apologise but also like not because it's fun to look back on character development xD :3


	34. XXXIII

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This a really short chapter to be honest and I'm really sorry for that but I promise next week's will be much much longer :3

Jisung ended up seeing his family much sooner than he'd expected. 

It was in the middle of practicing the choreo for Hands On Me for the millionth time when she came. 

A staff member opened the door, quiet as a grave. Jinyoung's brows pulling together was his only indication that something had happened. He followed his gaze. Her eyes roamed the room for a few minutes before she swallowed loudly. 

Everyone's heads snapped up at the sound.

"Is everything okay?" Seongwoo asked, in the most leader-like tone yet.

She smiled tightly. "Uh, could Yoon Jisung come with me?" 

Jisung's blood ran cold but he just smiled and stood up. "Uh, yeah. What for?" 

"I think you might want to come outside for this." 

He felt a cold hand tap at his shoulder and turned his head to see Daniel looking at him with furrowed brows. 

Jisung just shook his head. "It's probably no big deal," he said, louder than he intended. He didn't dare look at her face. He knew better. 

Daniel's narrowed eyes said that he too knew better. Both of them did. But he nodded and Seongwoo patted him on the back, talking to him softly about something that Jisung couldn't quite hear. Jisung shot him a smile. Seongwoo returned it, but it was shaky. 

He walked over to her with long, quick strides. She held open the door for him and he followed her out into the hall. 

Her piercing gaze bored right through him. He broke the stare first. She cleared her throat before speaking. 

"I'm sorry to be the one to tell you this," she said, but her tone bordered on business-like. There were no apologies to be found. 

Somehow that made him more afraid. 

She paused for what felt like forever but couldn't have been more than few seconds. The electronic whirring of the lights was deafening in the silence, cold and empty. 

"Your grandfather, Yoon Jaeho, is dead." 

Jisung blinked. That was all? He'd been expecting something more substantial, more terrifying, something like he had a saesang or his sister had gone missing or anything more crazy or unnerving than an old man dying. 

And then it came crashing down on him. His grandfather was dead. And he'd never resolved his relationship with him. His grandfather had died, hating him and being hated in turn. He'd never tried to amend his grandfather's ways, never tried to do anything to change his mind, to help him understand that not all vampires were what he thought they were. He'd owed to his grandfather to make it up to him and he'd failed to do so. To even attempt to. And now he never could.

And yet, while he felt more trapped than ever, he also felt more free. His grandfather was dead. He never had to worry about making it up to him ever again. To ever have to dread seeing him out in public. To ever have to dread seeing him when visiting his parents. He was out. He was free. He was free for the rest of his life. His grandfather was dead and he was free. 

She was watching him with a strange expression. "Will you be okay? I understand something like this could be overwhelming, especially since it came with only a few days left before the finale of the season." 

Jisung nodded, even as his hands trembled and his mind raced. 

"Mnet has given you a day off to visit your grandfather. His funeral is planned for tomorrow. They've kindly paid for the train to and from Wonju." 

Time limit. That made sense. Including today, he had four days left. This would be using up one so the other two would be absolutely essential. But he had to go. To break free from the eternal shackles his grandfather's death had clamped around him. To confront him, even if the corpse couldn't reply.

He nodded. "I'll go," he started, but paused, looking back at those piercing eyes, "Could I bring someone with me? Just for like emotional support. I don't want to have to go alone." 

She stared him, lips pursed and immobile, arms crossed over her chest. He didn't think she was going to agree when she let out a long, frustrated sigh and waved her hand dismissively. "Fine, but only one person. Be quick choosing because you leave early tomorrow. Mnet will book tickets for whoever you choose as well." 

He nodded and opened the door to step inside the room. A dozen and a half eyes stared up at him. 

"What was it?" Seongwoo asked. 

He waved his hand dismissively, smiling brightly even as all turmoil rolled within. "Nothing much. I'll just be gone for a day. Don't worry about it. Focus on the song." 

Daniel's eyes narrowed and he was staring at him in a way that made him feel uncomfortable. 

"Um, Daniel, could you come with me for a sec?" 

All the heads swiveled towards Daniel, who just nodded and smiled. It was obviously fake. "Sure." 

He moved much quicker than he'd expected and stepped outside. Jisung closed the door behind him. 

She fixed Daniel with her intense gaze. "Is he the one?" 

Jisung almost said no. Daniel needed this. He was so close. He wouldn't even have to rise a place. He just had to stay where he was and then he was through. What if bringing Daniel with him caused him to fail, to mess up the dance, to plummet downwards in the rankings once more when he'd done nothing rise for so long? He couldn't do that to him. He couldn't just think about himself. He was the eldest, he could it alone surely, he didn't need Daniel. It was his last chance too, but he had no hope. He'd never re-entered the top eleven since he'd gotten third place and he knew that was a fluke. He couldn't stand in the way of someone else, someone better's progress. 

His promise hummed in the back of his mind. But the guilt still formed a pit in his stomach. So he settled for neither.

"If he wants to." 

He could feel Daniel boring holes into the side of his skull with his eyes. "Want to what?" 

She spoke in his place. "His grandfather has died. He's been given permission by Mnet to go to a funeral. He asked if he could bring someone with him. He choose you."

Daniel went very quiet and looked away from him. For a moment, he thought he'd turn it down. Jisung would understand why. Produce 101 was one of the most important things in his life. It was his one chance for debut. He was in the top eleven, he'd all but made it. Going to a funeral would just slow everything down, knock his focus, take his time away from the final song, the final chance to prove themselves to the Nation's Producers. He had no responsibility to come with him. He had no need to come with him. Daniel could easily say no. It would be easier than saying yes, anyway, that was for sure. The thought hurt more than he expected.

But Daniel just smiled softly. "Yeah, I'll come. I don't have many lines to learn anyway and I know the dance." 

Jisung's heart swelled but he tried to keep from smiling. "Thanks," he said, quieter than he'd anticipated. 

Daniel nodded and said nothing. 

The staff member took down Daniel's name, and as she jotted some notes down, she spoke. "The train will be leaving at 6 in the morning. You'll hopefully be in Wonju by 7. The train back is for 10, that night. Don't miss it. I'll have the tickets for you in a few minutes, just wait out here." 

She walked off at a brisk pace but never quite moved into a jog. 

"You okay?" 

Jisung's head snapped towards Daniel. "Yeah. Why?" 

Daniel shrugged. "It's just... I didn't expect you to ask me to come. You usually do this stuff on your own. Or at least try to." 

Jisung shouldn't have taken it as a personal attack -- but he couldn't help it. He didn't like being psychoanalyzed. He slammed down those comfortable defences. 

"And?" he snapped. 

Daniel's eyes widened but that soft smile returned after a few moments. "No, no, it's good. I'm glad you trust me. And I owe you. You've been basically holding me up this entire time. The least I can do is return the favour." 

The defences crumbled. He matched Daniel's smile. "Oh. Yeah. Thanks for agreeing to come. I just... I just didn't want to do this alone." 

That smile, the one that shined so bright it hurt to look at, spread across Daniel's face. Jisung hadn't even realised he'd missed it until now. 

It still felt strange and unnatural, however. To put his soul on show like this. To trust Daniel so completely. To find himself suddenly in the position of the less mature one, the one being comforted, the one being supported. He'd been so used to being the one doing all that. The eldest, the most responsible, the most motherly. He'd forgotten what it was like to just... let someone else help him. 

It felt freeing, like a weight had been lifted off his shoulders that he'd been so used that he'd forgotten it was there. 

"You don't have to come if you don't want," Jisung said, after a beat, just in case. 

Daniel shook his head. "I want you. As I said, I owe you." 

He nodded, glancing into the empty hall for a few moments. "You know he hated vampires, right? His friends are probably all going to be dicks." 

"And?" Daniel said, smiling humourlessly, "It can't be any worse than my father." 

Jisung winced. "True. But it's still going to suck."

Daniel looked back at him. "You're really making me excited," he said, his voice dripping with sarcasm. 

"You agreed to it," Jisung said, raising his hands defensively. 

"You're making me regret it pretty quick." 

"Too bad you already gave the staff member your name." 

Daniel shot him a playful glare just as the staff member returned. 

She held out the tickets. "Don't lose them. Be on time. Don't get lost." 

They nodded simultaneously. 

"Now, please get back to training. You have a song to prepare for, funeral or no. It's your careers at stake if you mess up, not mine." 

And with that she vanished off back down the corridor and they returned to the training room. 

Daniel accompanying him to his grandfather's funeral may have eased some of his worries and made him feel better about it for a moment, but the fear and unease returned with full force far too soon. He was already terrified of attending and he wasn't even there.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Yeah it's crazy short but next week's is honestly four times the length, I promise :3   
> Unfortunately sometimes I have to write filler chapters with no purpose other than to move the plot along but um yeah at least the chapter is payment? XD 😅


	35. XXXIV

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Well, this is probably one of my favourite chapters (and one of my beta reader's) so I hope you guys enjoy it. It's one my favourite type to write -- the one where I take a lil break from the plot to explore ~themes~ -- but yeah, I hope you enjoy it as much I did writing it :D (plus it's really long so you're welcome xD)

The train ride was pretty uneventful. Daniel slept for most of it and Jisung tried to, but couldn't, his fear and anxiety hounding him unrelentingly, never allowing him to close his eyes in pursuit of a moment's peace.

The few moments of conversation they had were short and snappy. A couple of words exchanged solely for the purpose for filling the silence before it overwhelmed them once more. It didn't ease his nerves. If anything, it made him more afraid. More on edge. By the time they reached the station, Jisung was just glad to be free of the train. 

Mom was waiting for him in the station. It felt strange to see her in the flesh when he'd been away for so long. He hugged her for what was probably way too long but he didn't really care. 

"And are you going to introduce me to your friend?" she asked, the moment he broke away from the hug. 

Daniel waved awkwardly, his smile sheepish. 

Jisung probably should've started by introducing him. "Uh, Mom, this is Kang Daniel, Daniel this is, obviously, my mom." 

Daniel bowed first and she followed suit, smiling. "It's lovely to meet you, Daniel." 

"You too, Mrs. Yoon," Daniel said, rubbing the back of his neck, his smile still sheepish. 

Her eyes narrowed. "I think I remember your face from somewhere." 

Daniel looked startled. "Uh, yeah, I'm on Produce 101 as well. The other MMO trainee who made it through." 

"I don't kn-- oh wait, yes, that's right," she said, her eyes widening, "The vampire trainee." 

"Yeah," Daniel said, but his smile was a little tight. 

Her eyes darted to Jisung, tone bordering on disapproving. But he could hear the fear underlining it. "Are you sure about bringing a vampire to your grandfather's funeral? You know what people are like. Especially the ones your grandfather hung around with."

He hesitated, glancing at Daniel, whose expression had slipped into something unreadable. "I --" 

"I'll be fine," Daniel said, his smile looking odd on his face, "I've dealt with worse." 

Her eyes lingered on him for far too long. "Are you sure?" 

Daniel nodded. 

Jisung's stomach twisted as his mother's eyes darted over to him, bile clawing up his throat. Maybe this was a shit idea. 

The silence that fell felt awkward and uncomfortable, suffocating them under the weight of his own selfishness. Jisung couldn't bring himself to break it, not when it was his fault in the first place. But he had no idea who he'd bring other than Daniel. And he didn't want to go alone.

His mother spoke first. "I wanted to do up a room for you, Daniel, I'd just stick Jisung in his old room, but of course you're not staying the night, so there was no need. We'll be headed up to Seoul for the final anyway, so Jisung's going to have get used to our faces again." 

Before Jisung had a chance to react, Mom reached out and pinched his cheek. He pulled away, his face burning. 

"Uh, thanks for the offer, Mrs. Yoon, and uh, yeah I'd like to stay but we have a competition to win." His tone was brighter than Jisung expected. 

She nodded, finally beginning to walk in the direction of the carpark. "Of course, of course. I'm sure you will get in Daniel, you're an amazing dancer." 

Daniel flushed. "Uh, thanks." 

"What about me?" Jisung asked, turning to her as he sped up to walk beside her, "No compliments? No 'Oh Jisung, you're such a good singer' or 'Wow, son, well done for being so talented to make the audience vote for you?'" 

"What about you?" she said, "Besides, I'm just surprised you got this far. Thought you'd be eliminated in the early rounds." 

"Wow, thanks Mom." 

"No problem, dear." 

Daniel sniggered and Jisung aimed a kick backwards. He missed, obviously, but he liked to think he got kind of close. 

They reached the car and Jisung sat in the front seat next to Mom, with Daniel taking a seat in the back. She started up the car and drove out of the car park, taking a road that felt awfully familiar, somewhere in the depths of Jisung's mind. 

She glanced in the mirror, her eyes on Daniel's reflection in it. "Daniel, we're going to go back to the house first, and then later on we'll go visit Jisung's grandfather. Is that okay?" 

"Yeah, I'm fine with anything." 

"What about me? Do I get a say in visiting my grandfather?" 

"No, of course not. You're my son, meaning I'm in charge. Daniel's our guest, so I'm being polite." 

"Thanks, Mom." 

"I love you too, Jisungie," she said, before immdiately turning her attention to Daniel, "So, Daniel, how've you been finding the competition, so far? Not too difficult, I hope?" 

The two dove into a slow-paced but good-natured conversation and Jisung didn't try to intervene. He instead stared out the window, at all the reminders of his childhood, all the unnervingly familiar and strangely distant, like constellations he'd seen in the sky once and never quite managed to find again. 

The forest was still there, the one he'd tried to run into to go find vampires when he was a kid. And the alleyways, that he kept digging through to go hunt down vampires, that Minseok had used to escort teenagers down when their parents were worried. The school too, and with it the memories of being pretty alone among the screaming kids and sketching his drawings of himself as the greatest vampire hunter. They passed his grandfather's house and all the stories he told, twisted and hypnotising, the slap, the moments he'd tried and failed to knock on his door to try and reconnect with someone who'd once meant so much to him. And then into the estate, all the houses the same, white walls and blue doors, but he still knew which house had been Minseok's and the driveway where he'd met him for the first time, where his entire world had shifted. 

All of it was preserved with frightening perfection, like nothing had never changed. Like a fossil, a flawless reflection of the past. Almost like, ironically, the place was a vampire itself. 

And then Mom pulled up in front of the house and the moment was broken. 

"We're here," she said, opening the car door, a bright smile on her face, "Home sweet home." 

The two of them stepped out. Loud chatter was bursting from the house, the kind that would get the neighbours to call the police. 

"I didn't know so many people knew Grandpa," Jisung said, glancing over at his mother. 

Her smile was pained. "He seemed to have a lot of friends from social circles that revolved around..." Her eyes flitted towards Daniel. "Well. Less than pleasant things. You know what kind of man he was." 

His stomach turned upside down. He should've expected as much. He couldn't help looking towards Daniel as well. 

If Daniel was worried he didn't let show, not on the surface. But he wasn't breathing. Jisung knew full well what that meant by this stage. 

Surely they wouldn't be able to recognise Daniel as a vampire on first glance? Hopefully there wasn't anyone there that knew Daniel. He didn't want him to have to deal any more shit than what he'd already had.

The house was more packed than Jisung had ever seen it. There seemed to be people in every corner, every seat filled, every person talking and chatting in giant groups, countless people giving their respects to his parents, others still reminiscing with wistful looks in their eyes.

"Do you know anyone?" Daniel mumbled into his ear, "Because it just seems like a load of old people." 

"Just because you can't get old, doesn't mean you get to be ageist," Jisung said, trying to hold back his grin. 

Daniel's smile was tight. 

Jisung tried for another joke. "And I mean, my grandfather was old, so I don't know what you expected." 

Daniel rolled his eyes. "I expected you to actually know some of them." 

Just as he said that, a thin, unfamiliar voice rose out of the crowd. "Jisung, is that you?" 

He glanced over to see a small group of elderly women beckon him over, broad grins on their faces. 

"Do you know them?" Daniel asked, glancing at him. 

"Never seen them in my life," Jisung whispered, before beaming at them and walking over. Daniel followed, a little more apprehensively. 

"Oh, Jisung, look how much you've grown up!" the tallest and thinnest of the women said, looking so frail that a single touch would shatter her, "I remember you when you were just a toddler. When you were obsessed with the vampire hunting thing -- it was so cute, I still have some of those drawings you did for me. You remember me, right?" 

Jisung could feel Daniel's eyes boring into the side of his head. He ignored him and just nodded, even when he had no idea. 

"Who's your friend?" a smaller, broader woman asked, eyes scraping over Daniel like he was a piece of meat. 

"Um, this is Kang Daniel," Jisung said, glancing at Daniel, whose looked away from him to smile brightly at the group, "He's a tr--" 

"Kang?" a third lady said, with sharp eyes and tight lips, squinting at Daniel, "Are you from Busan by any chance?" 

The taller one elbowed her, forcing laughter. "Don't be silly, Soomi. I seriously doubt Jisung just happened to befriend one of the Kangs of Busan." 

"Is he?" the broad one said, bluntly, still eyeing Daniel, "From Busan?" 

Jisung glanced at Daniel, whose smile had grown much tighter. 

"Why does it matter?" Daniel said before Jisung had a chance to think of reply. 

Soomi -- he thought that was what the sharp-eyed one was called -- blinked. 

Another burst of laughter from the thin one. "It doesn't! It doesn't matter. We're just fans of the Kangs' work down here. That's all. Nothing big. It doesn't matter!" 

Daniel's eyes narrowed for a split second before he took a deep breath and smiled again. "Their work?" 

"It's not really the topic for a funeral," the thin one said nervously, "I think it's best to not think about them or --" 

"Hunting," the broad woman interrupted, her voice colder than earlier, "You're from Daegu, then, I'm assuming. If you don't even know celebrities like the Kangs." 

"Maybe he's not interested in hunting," Jisung muttered and she hesitated before shrugging in response. 

"I'm from Busan," Daniel said, after a beat, "Just not interested in hunting much." 

Their attitudes flipped like a switch, from cold suspicion to warm welcoming. 

"Oh!" Sharp-Eyes said brightly, beaming, "Pardon the suspicions. It's just a very tight-knit neighbourhood and there's been far too many vampires moving in lately -- you can never be too careful --" 

"Yeah," Daniel said, with thinly-veiled sharpness, "Of course." 

"What's it like in Busan?" Blunt asked, the hardness in her tone fading, "I've heard there's hardly any leeches --" 

Thin shot her look. "Don't use that word, it's awful. I don't want to be hearing it in civilised conversation." 

Blunt grumbled a little, but did as told. "Anyway, I've heard there's hardly any vampires -- happy now? I don't see how it matters when they're all the same descriptor -- there." 

"I guess," Daniel said, hollowly, "I mean, there's a few." 

Blunt rolled her eyes. "Can't get rid of them anywhere. They're like a vermin, infesting all of Korea." 

Sharp-Eyes let out a heavy sigh. "Moonhee, please, you'll make the rest of us look bad. He's not into hunting. He doesn't want to hear about it."

Blunt scowled but didn't push. 

"I doubt you're related to the actual Kangs," Thin said, laughing again, but with a ray of hope leaking into her voice. 

Daniel smiled apologetically. "Sorry, no relation." 

Jisung bit his lip to keep himself from saying anything, even as curiosity chewed at his brain. 

"Do they have anti-dating laws in Busan?" Sharp-Eyes said suddenly, beaming up at him, "I know they were abolished by the government but surely the hunters set up something -- I mean, they should. The whole dating thing is so unnerving to me. It's like dating a corpse. It's essentially dating a dead body. Next they'll be saying necrophilia is okay." 

Daniel's jaw set but before he opened his mouth, Blunt spoke.

"They should. It's easier to be a vampire than a human nowadays, I reckon. They get everything handed to them on a platter just because they're vampires. That idol group -- the mixed vampire-human one, the girls -- well, they're famous only because of the vampire thing. They just had to be vampires and fame was handed to them. It's too easy to be a vampire." 

Jisung glanced at Daniel, feeling like he'd been slammed in the face. Daniel looked somewhere between furious and incredulous. Being a vampire had gotten him pushed down to sixtieth. Jisung couldn't really see where the advantage was. 

"What?" Daniel said in a strangled voice. 

Blunt just gave him a look, as though he was young and stupid and couldn't possibly understand and added no more, leaving them in an uncomfortable silence for several moments. Jisung should've just pretended he couldn't hear them instead getting caught up in the stupidest conversation ever. But it felt like he was well and truly stuck now, all because some old lady recognised him. 

Thin laughed nervously again, waving her hand dismissively. "It's silly, I think. I personally don't like to talk about them, well, y'know --" 

"Vampires?" Daniel asked, raising an eyebrow. 

"Yes, yes, anyway, I feel it points out our differences too much. We're all the same at heart, so it doesn't matter, does it? We're all equal. Everyone's put on this earth the same and it matters what you do with it, not what you are. Personally I think they complain a little too much, considering that they aren't really discriminated against much anymore" -- she laughed that infuriating laugh again -- "but anyway. It's not important. I don't think we should be discussing it." 

Jisung couldn't help but think of the fact that Daniel had to all but beg the audience to vote for him so soon after the revelation of being a vampire pushing him down so far. Denying they were connected felt like a dismissal of the obvious. Thin might think that everyone made equal, but society disagreed. 

Daniel looked like he was thinking the same thing, and barely holding himself back from saying anything. 

Some part of Jisung wanted to say something, to push those fragile, ignorant beliefs until they crumbled, but he couldn't find the words. He wasn't sure if he could think of example on the spot other than Daniel. And he was almost sure she'd be a hard opponent to beat. She'd probably believed it her whole life. And didn't really want to change. She'd shut her eyes to reality and would resist opening them at any cost.

Sharp-Eyes cut through his thoughts, squinting at Daniel. "I swear I've seen you before. You sure you're not familiar with the Kangs?" 

Daniel's chest stilled, even as that smile widened. "Does it matter?" 

"No, no, no, of course not," Thin said, laughing nervously again, "I don't think hunters should be a subject of discussion at a funeral. Well anything about the... things, um, the people they deal with either. I heard about the... the.... idol show you're on, Jis--" 

"You haven't inhaled in a very long time," Sharp-Eyes said suddenly, "An awfully long time." 

Blunt's eyes darted over to Daniel, brows pulling together. "You're awfully pale too. Sickly looking." 

Thin laughed that annoying, nervous laugh. "Don't be silly. Jisung wouldn't befriend them, he's better than that, he's not --" 

Sharp-Eyes' hand darted out, like a snake pouncing, and Jisung's heart froze in his chest. She wrapped her gnarled fingers around the bandaged arm, before Daniel had a chance to move it out of the way. Her eyes, previously warm and bright, hardened to cold ice in an instant. 

"Oh," she said, her tone glacial, "I guess that's why you're not interested in hunting."

Thin stared at her. "What? What do you mean --" 

"Vampire," Sharp Eyes said tightly.

The atmosphere shifted so quickly that it was like the warmth from earlier had been just a facade. Glacial frost ran through air around them, matched with faint expressions of disgust, barely-concealed hatred and sharp-toothed suspicion. 

"Oh," Thin said, her voice odd, "I see. I think... I think we'd best be moving on then. It was nice talking to you." The smile was jagged and wonky, the insincerity of it poorly hidden. 

Sharp-Eyes nodded, stepping back, almost like she was afraid Daniel would lunge towards her and rip her throat out. 

Blunt's face twisted into something feral and animalistic, almost like she was trying to parody the vampires she'd created in her mind, demonized and bloodthirsty. "I hope next time you go to Busan, they cut your filthy leech head from your filthy body." 

Daniel's eyes flashed crimson and she stepped back, eyes going wide. For a moment, it looked like he was going to respond in kind, to spit venom to return the acid thrown at him. 

But then he abruptly deflated. 

He instead just smiled weakly at her. "Have a nice day," he mumbled, "It was nice talking to you."

Blunt looked like she'd just been hit in the face before her eyes narrowed and she scowled, turning on her heel to walk after the others. Jisung watched the three of them whisper to the other guests, occasionally glancing back at them with ugly expression and cold eyes. 

He ignored them, turning to Daniel instead. They were probably going to be rotting alongside his grandfather soon. 

"I thought you were gonna chew her face off for a second there." 

Daniel shrugged. "Not really worth it. I doubt me acting exactly like how she expects is gonna change her mind. Then she'll just tell everyone about the big bad leech she met at a funeral, who attacked her and use it as proof that all vampires are fucked up." 

"Oh," was all Jisung said. 

Daniel met his eyes, a half-hearted smile on his face. "This way she has no ammunition. I mean, I doubt she's gonna change but it's better than pushing her deeper into her hatred, I guess." 

Jisung wasn't sure how to reply. Some part of him felt a little taken off-guard, like he'd been knocked off balance. Four months ago and Daniel would've been in her position, cursing out vampires as the scum of the earth. And now he was picking out reactions and preventing people from confirming biases in a way Jisung hadn't even anticipated. It felt... odd. 

He didn't linger on it for long. A voice interrupted them from behind. 

"Those three are really a piece of work." 

Jisung turned around to come face to face with someone he hadn't ever seen before. Or at least couldn't remember seeing. He was pale, with narrow eyes and thin lips, looked around his early thirties, that were pulled into a laid-back grin, and a vague resemblance to someone that he couldn't quite pin down. 

"They'll spend all of the time gossipping about you now," the man said, rolling his eyes, "They wouldn't shut up about me for hours and they whisper so loudly it's almost like they want me to hear it."

Daniel blinked. "Another vampire?" 

"Surprise," the man said drily, before sticking out a hand, "Kim Jaewoo."

Jisung squinted at him. He was almost positive he'd heard the name before. Almost. He couldn't quite pin down where from. 

Daniel shook his hand as Jisung turned the name over and over in his head, trying to figure it out even as he pulled up blank after blank. Jaewoo reached out his hand to him and Jisung shook it too, still feeling like he was missing a puzzle piece. Then he glanced at the man's face again and it somehow clicked. 

"Oh," he said, his voice odd to his own ears, "You're my uncle." 

Jaewoo squinted at him, opening and closing his mouth for a few minutes before he managed to say anything. "You're Jisung?" 

Jisung nodded, the awkwardness of it all leaking into his bones, clinging to them like some sort of sticky slime, refusing to slide off. 

"Oh," Jaewoo said, "Um. I'm sorry for your loss. And not coming to see you. And. Um. Yeah." His eyes darted over Jisung once more. 

Jisung smiled, half-wishing he could completely back out of the conversation and pretend he had never met him at all. 

"Um," Jaewoo said after a beat, "I didn't not come because of like -- I mean your grandfather was l--" 

"Yeah, I get it," Jisung said, waving his hand dismissively. He got it too much unfortunately. Even if some small part of him did resent him -- but he wasn't sure if it was because he'd never been a part of his life or because he hadn't stayed away. 

Jaewoo nodded, before glancing towards Daniel. "I'm surprised to see another vampire here," he said after a moment, "I thought I'd be stuck here with a load of old people by myself, while they all talked about how we were all scum around me." 

"Yeah," Daniel said, smiling a bit more brightly, "I was kind of hoping I wouldn't be the only one. Even if I wasn't expecting it." 

"I'm more surprised that you're friends with one," Jaewoo said, glancing over at him, "The last I heard you were obsessed with hunting." 

"I was seven," Jisung said, his voice coming out sharper than he intended. 

Jaewoo blinked but nodded. "Yeah. I guess." He paused, glancing between them. "How do you know each other?" 

"Same company," Daniel said. 

Jaewoo's brows furrowed. 

"Idol company," Jisung added, smiling weakly. 

"Oh," Jaewoo said, blinking before nodding, "Oh yeah, Chunhwa mentioned something about an idol survival show or something." 

"Yeah," Jisung said, glancing at the door before meeting his eyes again, "Produce 101." 

"I meant to watch it but I never got round to it." 

Daniel winced. "You're not missing much," he mumbled. 

Jaewoo glanced at him. "Um, yeah?" 

"Yeah," Jisung said, rubbing the back of his head, "Mnet -- the broadcasting company -- are pretty messed up. They make everything seem kind of, y'know, weird when it wasn't." 

Jaewoo nodded slowly. 

"Not to mention they're milking the two vampires thing," Daniel said, scowling. 

"There's more than one vampire on the show? I thought idols were like never vampires." 

"They just lie about it," Jisung said, thinking about the unnamed Twice member Woojin had mentioned. 

"Can you blame them?" Daniel said, raising his eyebrows. 

"No," Jaewoo said, shaking his head, "Not in the slightest. It's shitty enough to deal with assholes on a daily basis. I don't think I'd like to deal with them online too. Or at fanmeets and variety shows and shit." 

There was a lull in the conversation, and Jaewoo's eyes kept flitting to Daniel. Jisung couldn't really bring himself to care. It felt like he was talking to a stranger masquerading as his uncle, not an actual relative.

Jaewoo gnawed on his lip for a few moments before saying anything. "This is gonna sound really rude, but are you like, a young vampire or something?" 

Daniel blinked, brows knitting together. "What... um, why would you like... think that?" 

Jaewoo shrugged. "You looked like you were going to blow up at those ladies for like a few seconds there. I know you didn't, but most vampires I know wouldn't even like... think about it. I dunno. I mean. Some would. I guess I'm just wondering. You just seem like a young vampire to me." 

"Um, yeah," Daniel said, rubbing the back of his neck, "I mean it's been like four months I think." 

Jaewoo's eyes widened. "Okay, wow, you're not like a young vampire, you're a full on baby." 

Daniel's cheeks flushed pastel pink. 

Then Jaewoo blinked, squinting at him. "Where's your sire?" 

"Um," Daniel said after a moment, rubbing the back of his neck, "That's kind of complicated." 

Jaewoo raised his eyebrows. 

"Uh -- I didn't choo-- my turning wasn't like... willing. So, um, I'm getting an adoptive sire, but he's like... still signing documents." 

"Oh," Jaewoo said after a beat, guilt seeping into his tone, "Sorry." 

Daniel shrugged. "It was shittier at the start." 

Jaewoo nodded slowly. "I hope you're like... adjusting alright. I know turning is a big thing but like... it's way easier with a sire I promise. It's not too bad. People are shitty to you but hey, at least you're not friends with bigots." There was a wry smile on his face. 

Daniel smiled weakly. "Yeah." 

"Yeah," Jaewoo echoed, "Anyway. Um. I'll talk to you guys later. I guess. Um. Bye." 

The two of them nodded as Jaewoo slipped away, almost like he was vanishing into shadow, keeping to the corners of the room. 

A silence lingered between them. Jisung wasn't sure how to fill it, so he just left it. He wasn't sure if he had to energy to anyway. Maybe standing in the quiet was enough, to just leave each other to run through their thoughts and process the two interactions that had just slammed into them, buses veering off the road to collide with them. For once, the silence didn't feel oppressive or cruel and cold, even when surrounded by people brimming with those traits. It was contemplative and gentle, almost comforting even if it couldn't quite tip the balance into truly pleasant territory. There were far too many stares and whispers for that. But it was nice, all the same.

Daniel eventually ended the quiet, his voice barely above a whisper. "Will we head to your grandfather's grave now?" 

"Yeah. Yeah. That sounds like a good plan. I'll go get my mom to drive to us," Jisung said, moving towards the exit, "Maybe just wait outside the room."

The gentle hands of their silence had given way to sharp claws, those stares and whispers screaming in his ears. He felt like he was intruding by sticking around, rather than visiting. An unwelcome guest in his own home. 

He stepped into the kitchen, and back into the deafening chatter. He saw so many faces he didn't recognise, faces he'd never seen before, faces that sent him strange glances, like eyeing an elephant in a china shop. He did his best to ignore them and focus on finding his mom instead. 

It didn't take long. She was surrounded by a group of women her age, all chatting at rapid pace, exchanging condolences and recipes in the same breath. He tapped her on the shoulder and she glanced towards him. 

A soft smile appeared on her face and she moved to stare straight at him, her brows raised. "Are you okay, sweetheart?" 

"I think I'm ready to go see Grandpa now." 

She nodded, the smile fading. "Your father's going to bring you, so I'll go tell him." She turned to venture off into the crowd.

But suddenly she hesitated and looked back at him. Seeing her face so filled with guilt and affection and warmth knocked the breath out of him. 

"You know I'm proud of you, right?" 

Jisung didn't know how to respond. So he didn't. 

She continued on. "I'm so proud that you made it this far. I look at the TV and I see you, looking so grown-up, singing so beautifully and dancing with so much passion and I think to myself, I can't believe that's my son. I know you're twenty-seven and you don't need your mom to tell you how good you are but I'm so proud of you."

And then she moved closer to him, and wrapped her arms around him in a soft embrace and Jisung felt like, for the first time since he'd got here, that he was home. 

He hugged her back tightly, afraid of letting go and losing that feeling. It was like he was seven all over again and he'd come running to his mother when his grandfather slapped him. She was safe. She was warm. She was home. 

"I love you," he said and he wished he could say more than that, open his heart and show her every positive feeling he felt with her, because of her, but those three words were all he had. 

She was silent for a few moments. "It's the first time I've heard you say that in a while," she whispered, surprise colouring her tone, and then it softened and she said, "I love you too. I'm glad you're not shutting yourself off. I want to be there for everything. Good and bad." She paused. "I'm sure your friends do too. You're allowed to be something other than the eldest sometimes." 

"I'm trying," he whispered, "It's hard. I'm sh -- bad at putting it all into words." 

She pulled back, and a soft smile on her face, and she stroked his cheek. "Of course it's hard. So many good things are, at first. But you have to keep trying. Bottling it all up makes it all worse. Someday you'd just explode. Sometimes, trying is enough." 

"I'm scared. Of not making it in. I don't want it all to be for nothing. I don't want you to have wasted all your money." 

She shook her head. "It was your dream. Even if you don't make it, at least you got to taste it. Some people don't even get that much."

"I don't want a taste," he whispered, his hands shaking, "I want the real thing." 

Her hands moved down from his cheek and gripped onto his hands, her determined gaze meeting his eyes. "Then go get it. Show them why you made it this far." 

"But Mom, the others are so much more --" 

She put her finger to his lips, glaring at him. "The others you can't affect. Their talent is something you can't change. So change what you can. Work on yourself and stop worrying about others. Go hunt it down. Make one of those final eleven positions yours. Will it into existence if you have to. The others want it? Fine. Want it more than they do and work harder to get it." 

Jisung paused, the claws of fear wrapped around his heart still not daring to let go. "And if I fail?" he whispered. 

"Be glad you did it. Be glad you gave it your all. Just be glad you had the chance to do it. I'll be here to welcome you home and I'll always be proud of you." 

Jisung couldn't find the words to reply. So it he let it rest, churning it over and over and over in his head until he could recite all of it backwards. 

Mom left to go find his father. She was faster than he expected. His father's face was as unreadable as ever and he mumbled to him to follow in a gruff voice. Jisung did as he was told.

Daniel was stood outside the front door, a pained expression on his face. Jisung could hear the whispering from here. Shit. He should've told Daniel to go wait in the car or something. That expression only grew a little less pained when he saw them. 

The walk out to the car with his father was in stark contrast to his mom. No attempts at conversation were made and his dad's lips formed a thin line the whole time. 

For the first bit of the car journey, it followed the same pattern. No talking. Tense atmosphere. Daniel looked paler than usual as he stared down at his hands, visible even from Jisung's seat in front. 

Jisung thought it would stay that way the entire trip but it was his dad who broke the silence. The person he'd least expected. 

"So," Dad said, clearing his throat awkwardly, "Chunhwa says you're the vampire trainee?" 

Daniel looked up. "Um, yeah. One of them." 

His dad nodded, and there was another long pause. "I heard it hasn't been long. I mean. You're not that old." 

"Yeah. It's been like four months." 

His father nodded slowly. The silence returned. "Why... did you choose to... become... um, y'know?" 

"A vampire?" 

Another nod. 

Daniel tugged on his sleeve. "Um. I didn't really... choose."

There was another long pause and his father's brows pulled together. 

"Revenge turning," Daniel said, his smile looking stilted and awkward. 

His father's expression only deepened. "I thought those were gone? I mean, I didn't hear anything about vampires still doing them."

"I don't think you've heard much about vampires at all in this town."

His father laughed. "I suppose that's true. You are only the third vampire I've ever met." 

Daniel smiled, a little less tense. "I can't say much, to be honest. I've only met a few as well." 

His father looked back at Daniel through the mirror, eyebrows raised. "Even as a vampire?" 

"It's only been four months. And I've spent three of them in a survival show." There was a pause. "And hunters don't do much talking to vampires to be honest." 

His father grimaced. "I suppose." Then he paused. "You didn't seem to condemn vampires to those women though. After what one put you through, don't you hate them?" 

The way question was asked almost made it seem like he was probing, like he was looking for confirmation of already long-held beliefs rather than a proper answer. Almost as though Daniel had already supplied the answer to his question before he'd ever opened his mouth.

"Why would I hate all of them for something one of them did?" Daniel asked, raising his eyebrows. 

"Just because only one of them did it, doesn't mean that the rest of them disagree with it," his father said, his voice slightly sharper.

"Not really," Daniel said coldly, "A ton of them think what happened to me was messed up. A whole lot more of them think that than hunters do. All the hunters I know dropped me like a stone afterwards, like I was diseased or something. A vampire offered to be my sire, to guide me through it, a vampire told me that they thought what happened to me was awful and barbaric, a vampire told me that what happened wasn't my fault, a vampire told me that they were happy I was showing a different image of vampires to what was on the TV, that they appreciated what I was doing. Not a single hunter stepped forward to even so much as say that I'm sorry about what happened to you, it sucks, but we'll help you through it. Not one."

His father opened his mouth over and over again, like a fish pushing out bubbles instead of words. "Oh," was all he managed in the end.

"Yeah," Daniel said, glaring, "Trust me on this one, the both sides are bad argument is bullshit. As someone who's been on both, the hunters only like you so long as you fit into their ideal. The minute you stray from that, they'll drop you like a stone. Plus one of them isn't aiming for literal genocide. Maybe try talking to more than three vampires before you make up your opinion on what they're all like." 

Jisung expected his father to shoot back, to argue and rant like he used when Jisung was a kid, whenever his views were challenged but he stayed oddly quiet, his eyes fixed ahead of him. 

"You're the Kang heir, right?" he said, after a beat. 

Daniel didn't react for a bit, exhaustion clouding his eyes but he nodded. "Does it matter?"

"No," he said after a moment, "No, I guess not." There was a pause. "I guess I just thought you'd... since you came from such a big hunting family that you'd..." 

"Be more torn up about it?" 

His dad took a while before he nodded. 

"I don't plan on being upset about it forever," Daniel muttered, "And besides, I'm not looking to be a martyr for a cause that kicked me out and spat in my face." 

"Don't you... hate the person who turned you?" 

There was a long pause before Daniel replied. "It gets so exhausting," he said, his voice awfully quiet, "Hating someone I can't even remember the face of. I can't change it anyway. It doesn't matter how much I hate them. I don't want to spend all my time hating them. It seems like a waste. I hated them more at the start -- but I hated everyone at the start. And then I got so tired of it. It takes so much energy to spend all your time angry. I don't really see how you guys do it, hating vampires so much. To be honest, I don't think they deserve that much energy wasted on them." He paused. "I don't really think it's worth it."

The car came to stop. His father said nothing more, his brows low over his eyes, as though something was weighing on it. 

Jisung took the car stopping as his cue to leave. Daniel seemed to have the same thought and the two of them stepped out of the car at the same time. 

"Thanks for bringing us, Dad," Jisung said. 

He got a pained smile in return, before his father returned to staring out into distance at something Jisung couldn't see. He didn't bother to ask. 

He turned away and followed Daniel into the funeral home. It was bright inside, surprisingly so for a place so morbid but the light seemed cold and the shadows sharp. There were pale wooden chairs and dark couches near the white desk that indicated the reception. Strange to think of a reception in a funeral home. An assistant moved up to them and asked them in a hushed tone who they were here to see. He whispered the answer back, the weight of silence too heavy for him to dare to try to break it. She nodded and directed them to the room. 

It was bigger than he expected. Black and white, like everything in the place. The only splash in colour came in the form of the flowers, cerise and cyan and tangerine and violet and butterscotch and a million other colours, placed carefully all around the photo of his grandfather. 

Jisung stepped closer to the photo. His grandfather, alive and young, smiled out at him with disapproving eyes. Emotions surged upwards, so entangled and conflicting that Jisung couldn't pinpoint any of them. 

"He looks like he's judging us," Daniel said, with a strange hint of humour in his voice that Jisung didn't expect. 

He didn't dare rip his gaze from the photo. "He's probably rolling in his grave, since you're here." 

Daniel fell silent. He glanced back at him, to see that strange distant look in his eyes before Daniel spoke again. "Sorry." 

Jisung shook his head. "Don't be. I asked you to come. I'd like him to roll in his grave. He's too comfortable in it." 

"I thought you came to make amends?" 

It was Jisung's turn to go silent. He wanted to. To apologise to his grandfather for becoming so distant and never once attempting to make contact again. For destroying such an important relationship. For not being a better grandson. For waiting until he was dead to visit him, because he was too afraid of the confrontation.

But Jisung shook his head. "What for? He was an asshole and a bigot, who slapped a seven-year-old for befriending a vampire and then never again making an attempt to reach out to his grandson. I mean, I could've tried harder too, to mend our relationship, but I don't think I wanted to. I still don't really want to." 

"What about trying to look at things from his side?" Daniel said and his voice was a whisper. 

Jisung paused. He looked up from the photo, finally breaking eye contact and turned to Daniel. "It's not the same as you and your father, Daniel." 

Daniel flinched. 

Jisung bit his tongue. Shit. He let the silence take control for a bit. Maybe it would it keep him from saying anything rash. 

"I know. I know. I just... I don't know. I thought I believed in second chances but my dad threw mine back in my face." 

Jisung kept his gaze on Daniel for a few moments longer but turned his eyes back to the photo again, returning to that disapproving gaze. "Some people don't deserve another chance. I know I should forgive and forget, but I can't bring myself to. He only loved me when I was like him, ignorant and hateful. So I can't hope to bridge the gap when I'm not. I know he'd just push it away." 

"What... what if he changed in those twenty years?" 

Jisung's heart clenched. "I can't believe that."

He couldn't put it into words, not in a way that made sense, the fear of being wrong, the fear of his grandfather waiting for him to call or to contact him only for him to hold a petty grudge for twenty years, the fear that it had been him who'd fucked up and his grandfather had been right all along. Because he couldn't live with it. He couldn't forgive himself if he'd fucked it up so badly. It would mean he was a shitty person, that he'd made a mistake so massive that he could never rectify, never fix, never mend and it would mean he would have to bring that guilt with him to the grave. He needed the lie. He needed his unwavering belief that his grandfather was evil so badly that he'd clasped his hands around it so tightly that he threatened to strangle it.

"I can't believe that." 

Daniel left it at that and Jisung was more glad for it than he could put into words. He couldn't think too deeply about it. He didn't dare to. He wanted to leave all of this behind. To close this chapter of his life so that he could go open the next without looking back. 

"So why did you come back? Why come to his funeral?" 

"I dunno. Closure, I guess." 

Daniel seemed to take that as a good enough answer and moved into silence. Jisung managed to tear his gaze away from the photo once more, his eyes instead inspecting the hundreds of bouquets of flowers. He never knew this many people cared about a grumpy, angry, hateful old man. Maybe it was just the fact he'd died. People tended to think of the dead more fondly than they did the living. 

"I've never been to a funeral before," Daniel said, suddenly from behind him, his voice quiet.

Jisung looked over to him. "What? Never?" 

Daniel shook his head. "My mom and dad did. There were usually at a few hunter funerals a year. But they always left me at home, especially when I was little. When I was old enough to go, I'd already begun to focus on dance so I never really cared enough to go." 

"Living up to your expectations?" Jisung asked, the wry humour slipping through before he had a chance to catch it. 

Daniel didn't even react. No smile, no rolling eyes, nothing. He just stared at the photo of his grandfather. "Does it matter?" he said, his voice quiet in the most unsettling way possible, "I'm going to have to get used to them either way." 

Jisung almost asked what he meant but he looked back at the photo and understood. 

"It's kind of what scares me the most about the vampire thing. Everything else I can get used to, drinking blood, being too cold, moving too fast... but my own immortality feels a little out of reach. Like it's little too much. I dunno, maybe it's nature's way of saying that immortality is wrong or something." 

"You didn't mention this before," Jisung said, but he knew in his heart of hearts that he should've seen it, should've been looking harder, that all the signs had been there right in front of his eyes. 

Or maybe he just didn't know Daniel as well as he thought he did. Not this Daniel anyway. Not the new Daniel who avoided using the word leech and who defended vampires and who was excited about having a sire and joked about being a vampire so often it made it seem like he was comfortable with it all. He couldn't find the single moment where he'd missed the change. Where he'd realised the Daniel near him was so different from the boy from four months ago. He tried to picture human Daniel in his head, and found fuzzy afterimages instead, slipping out of his hands before he could grasp them. 

Daniel's voice broke through his thoughts. "I didn't want to put it into words. I thought that if I didn't I'd be able to kill that fear somehow, keep it from becoming real." His smile was wry. "Didn't really work. So I guess all I have is to talk about it. You promised me to open up, I can't really be hypocrite and avoid telling you about the stuff that bothers me." 

"I'm listening so pile it all up. I won't tell anyone if you don't want me too." Jisung paused. "It's the least I can do in exchange for you coming with me."

Daniel hesitated, his eyes moving from the photo to him. "You sure? I don't wanna like... bore you. Or, um, worry you." 

Jisung waved his hand dismissively. "I can take it. I have to listen to my own demons all the time, what's one more." 

Daniel paused, looking at him with something akin to worry in his eyes but he looked away before Jisung had a chance to really understand what he was looking at. 

"Okay. Okay. Um, I'm just scared of... not dying." His voice was shaky but it slowly grew firmer, more confident, more stable. "Being stuck here when everyone else is gone. I don't want to be the only one left when you've all died. I don't want to be at a funeral, staring at your photo, like your grandfather's. I don't want lose all of you." 

The image of himself on the photograph card instead of his grandfather made the familiar grip of fear wrap around his heart but he didn't dare let it show on his face. He didn't want to stop Daniel from talking. Not when he'd just managed to get him to open up. 

But Daniel didn't even glance at him and just kept talking. "It just seems so... lonely. Living for so long. I don't know how I'm gonna do it." He bit his lip and his voice suddenly grew very quiet. "I kind of understand her, y'know." 

Jisung knew who he was referring to and he wished he didn't. 

"I know she was messed up and she turned Daehwi and violated his right to privacy but... when she said she just wanted a companion, someone to share the world with, I understand. I really hate that I do but I can see where she's coming from. All those years ahead of me... I can't do it alone. And I know you and Seongwoo and Woojin and everyone won't be there for all of it. But... but I kind of almost want to... y'know. And I know I can't. I think that's why I need Minseok so bad. I need to have someone who'll stay with me." 

"I'll be there as long as possible," Jisung said quietly. 

"Jisung, you'll live another seventy years at best," Daniel said, so quiet it was almost inaudible, "There's vampires who've lived more than ten times as long. " 

He fell silent. 

"I don't want to live that long. I've looked at it every which way I can but no matter what, it seems so lonely. I already lost everyone I knew once. I can't lose everyone again." 

"You know I hated you for a bit," Jisung said, the words slipping out before he could catch them. 

Daniel looked up at him, brows furrowed. 

"It was just for like... a moment. Woodam was being a fucking ass in the bathrooms after your performance and I was trying to defend and he said some bullshit that I should've been the one to hate you most. Because I'm old. And in that moment, I kind of did. Because I thought about it a lot." 

"About being a vampire?" Daniel asked, those brows pulling closing together. 

Shame burned in his throat but he pushed on anyway, staring at the photo of his grandfather in front of him. "Yeah. I'm -- I'm getting really old for an idol trainee. Like. Most idols would be done a big chunk of their idol career at my age. And I'm still stuck, in this endless loop of training and training and hoping for debut and never getting it." 

He swallowed, trying to keep his voice from shaking. "And I'm... I'm scared. If I don't get into the final eleven, I don't know what I'm going to do. I've spent so much of my life aiming for this and Produce is my last chance. It's this or nothing. I don't -- I can't be an idol after this. MMO isn't going to debut any groups. And I won't get another cha --" His voice cracked, his eyes pricking with tears. The fear seemed all too solid and overwhelming in that moment, a massive beast unhinging its jaw to swallow him whole.

"I just... I hated you because you don't have to worry about that anymore. You can try a million times, wait forty years and it won't matter because you won't get old. You have forever to get it right, to change companies to try for debut and I hated you for it because it wasn't fucking fair. It wasn't fair that this was my last chance and you had a million other chances out in the future. And I know it's stupid and that not everything's easy for you and --" 

"If you do want to become a vampire, that seems like a pretty valid reason," Daniel said, his voice quiet but almost... firm. Like he was sure of himself. 

Jisung whipped his head over, eyes wide, feeling like his heart was hammering far too loudly in his ears. 

Daniel just smiled softly at him, before shrugging. "I didn't get a choice, but that doesn't you shouldn't. I mean, people are dicks to vampires but like... if you feel like you want to go for it, I'm sure Minseok would probably be okay with siring you or something."

Jisung opened his mouth to reply but he only managed to close it again. The silence felt odd, straggling the line between comfortable and unnerving, almost like he'd entered a room that once seemed so familiar to find all of the furniture had been shifted around, without him having even noticed. It took a while for him to say anything again and by then his eyes had drifted to the photo and back to Daniel.

"You've changed," he whispered, "A lot." 

Daniel took a while to reply. "I know. I almost wish I hadn't."


	36. XXXV

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Well, we're at the finale now. Which is kind of wild. It feels like barely any time at all since I started it (even though it's been months xD) anyway, hope you enjoy the chapter :3

Returning to Produce 101 was like being thrown back in the deep end after having a chance to paddle in the child's pool for a while. It was another three full days of rehearsal after rehearsal after rehearsal, training until it was perfect, practicing until they could perform each and every move in their sleep. It became so central that Jisung could hardly remember what a live audience or performance or stage felt like anymore. 

So it felt surreal when the big day finally came. The final day. The last performance. 

He was so out of it for the entirety of makeup, hair and clothes session, so lost in the disbelief of it being the final, of having the chance to perform again. It was a few hours and then... and then they'd know. They'd know who were in the second IOI. In Wanna One. Who had made it to the top eleven when it counted. It didn't feel real. He kept waiting for someone to wake him up and to find he'd been eliminated in the first round. 

He kept checking the time after he was done with hair and makeup, sitting around backstage and going over the steps in his head. The seconds seemed to move at a leisurely pace. Each minute never quite seemed to end. Every time he looked back it seemed like the time hadn't budged. 

He could hear the crowds screaming and cheering and chatting from outside and his gut lurched at the thought of performing live, not just in front of them, but in front of the millions watching at home. In front of most of Korea. In front of his parents. 

Even amid the chaos of setting up backstage, people rushing to and fro with places to be and things to attend to, it was eerily quiet. None of the trainees were talking. Not even the chattiest ones, like Seonho or Seongwoo. 

That was until Seongwoo called them together for one final team discussion before everything unfolded and they couldn't go back. Even that was much quieter than usual. Everything was spoken in whispers. 

"So, this is it," Seongwoo said, his voice more serious than Jisung had ever heard before, "The last performance. I don't want us to mess it up. So... please try to remember your steps. And lines. Remember the world is watching. We can't really afford to make mistakes." 

Everyone nodded. That much was obvious. 

"Just a few hours and we'll know," Daniel said quietly, "We'll know who made it." 

"No more worrying then," Jisung said, trying to smile. 

Minhyun met his eyes but didn't say anything. 

"I still can't believe it," Sewoon said, "It's almost over." 

Neither could he. But the reality in front of him was too sharp to be false. It was almost done. Months of torture and hard work and they'd come to the end. To the discovery of whose hard work had paid off. Who'd managed to get a career.

"I just want it to be over," Jaehwan said, "I want to feel secure, whether that be in my failure or my success. At least I don't have to wonder." 

No one replied. Silence fell once more. Time's slow trek suddenly shifted into a sprint, and the 'Super Hot' team was called up. 

"Good luck," he whispered to Daehwi as he moved towards the stage. He got a nervous smile in return. He hoped he'd be okay. He hoped the audience would vote for him. He hoped that he'd perform the song perfectly. He hoped that Daehwi would make it. He sure as hell deserved it, seeing what he'd had to go through. 

Daniel hugged Daehwi for a second before Daehwi raced out of his arms and up on stage, adjusting his mic as he did so. Daniel moved over to him, his chest still and worry brewing in his eyes. 

"Do you think you made it?" he asked, his voice puncturing the unsettling silence. 

"To the final eleven?" 

Daniel nodded. 

"I don't know. I won't have an idea until after the performance. I don't know." 

He didn't think so. Jisung couldn't picture himself up there on one of the seats, signifying that he'd done it, that he'd succeeded, that he'd managed to achieve his ever-elusive dream. He was out of the final eleven. Twelfth. He didn't see anyone who he could possibly push out. They were all so much more talented, so much more deserving. He tried to push those thoughts down but they bit away at his mind anyway, even after the millions of reassurances he'd gotten from so many that he did deserve it.

He didn't mention those fears to Daniel. He didn't want him to lose hope, to worry, to do something stupid that could cost him his place in the final eleven. Besides, Jisung was almost getting comfortable with the thought of not getting in. His mom would still love him, still be proud of him. He was already kind of proud of himself for making it this far. 

Daniel smiled brightly, with the force of a thousand suns, and it pierced Jisung's heart. "Good, because you made a promise. You better keep it." 

He couldn't see how he possibly could. But he just smiled back and played into that lie that he would make it through. 

The all too familiar weight of silence returned and it held. Jisung wanted to say something to Daniel the whole time. Something. Anything. Everything. Something that might uplift Daniel, might motivate him. He opened his mouth and closed it and opened it again and nothing came out. He couldn't think of anything to say. Not when it was most important. Not when he needed his words most. 

But the Super Hot team was returning and they were being called up and Jisung still couldn't think of anything. He could hear BoA mention something about the trainees on the debut cutline and his mind was still blank. He had to say something. He didn't want Daniel's reminder of his promise, that he was inevitably going to break, be the last thing he heard before they found who'd got in. 

He finally managed to tear his lips apart as they were walking up to the stage. "Daniel?" 

Daniel turned back, eyebrows raised and looking an awful lot like a puppy who'd been called upon. 

"Uh... break a leg," he said and he hated himself for it. 

Daniel tilted his head but smiled anyway. "You too." 

He tried to find something else to say, something more impactful, something that would mean something to him. But he couldn't think of anything. So he left it. 

And then they got into position behind the stage doors and he couldn't say anything else, even if he wanted to. This was it. The last competitive performance of Produce 101. And then it was one more song and then onto the final eleven. The members of Wanna One. It would all be over. This rush of practice and training and desperation, all the change and maturation it brought with it, all the self-discovery and growth, would be done. For good. They'd be closing on this chapter of their lives and moving onto the next. 

Jisung just hoped his next chapter would be as a member of Wanna One. And he hoped Daniel would be alongside him. And then he thought of what he wanted to say and he looked over at Daniel, almost willing to scream it at him. 

But the stage doors opened, the music began blaring and Jisung let it die in his throat. 

The performance seemed to fly by in front of his eyes. Jinyoung proved to be a better centre than they could've hoped, oozing charisma that Jisung had never known he'd had. Jisung got a strange rush from it all, from having the chance to slip into a character he never normally got to explore, and he managed to hit every move and every beat and every line. Daniel didn't have many moments to shine, being Subvocal 7, but when he did have them, he seized them and he shone so bright he became hard to look at it. The bandage was still wrapped tightly around his arm but it no longer hindered him and he gave it his everything. Every member gave it their all. Jisung had never seen such synchronised attack -- they all wanted the final eleven the same amount, all desperate for it and yet they managed to work as such a perfect unit that it made it seem like they weren't competing against each at all. Like they were working in harmony instead.

But Jisung didn't dare let himself fall behind. He pushed just as hard, pushed himself to move in unison with them, to attack just as viciously as they did, to sing as beautifully as they did, to dance as sharply they did. He couldn't be anything less than perfect. Even if his mom would welcome him home with open arms, he wanted to be able to be say he'd done everything. He'd given it his all. That he'd done everything he could and more. If he was pushed from the world of idols, he wanted to be able say that in the very least, he'd tried. 

And when he finished, chest heaving and breathing heavily into his microphone, sweat gathering in his palms, Jisung felt like he could've done no more. His vocals had been better than they ever were, even in Downpour, his dance better than it had been in even Show Time, his synchronisation better than it had been in 10 Out Of 10. 

He stared out into the audience and their screams, signs and support made his heart swell. Even if they weren't for him. From the corner of his eye, he could even hear IOI cheering for them. See their beaming, approving smiles. The fact they'd managed to earn such a powerful reaction in of itself was an achievement. The selfish, competitive part of him wanted to see more signs for him, more people calling for him, more of an outpouring of love and affection but he took what he could get. He was proud of them. If he had to eliminated, he wanted to be pushed out by his teammates. He could live with that. He could live with losing to such giants of talent and beauty and skill. 

But the atmosphere behind the stage was duller and it was harder to keep up the optimism. Everyone seemed worn through. They'd spent it all, everything they had. It sounded like being in hospital with the amount of gasping and panting there was. Jinyoung and Minhyun even looked like they were on the verge of vomiting. Dongho's eyes were closed, in pursuit of the ever-evasive sleep that they never seemed to have time for. 

"Do you think you got through now?" Daniel said, sitting down beside him, his voice quiet. 

"I don't know. I think I gave it everything. But so did every one else." 

Daniel hesitated and then nodded. "Yeah. Yeah, everyone did. I don't know if everything will... will be enough at this stage." 

Jisung glanced over at him. Daniel's eyes betrayed what his mouth would never dare utter: he didn't think that he would get through. 

Maybe in the last round he would've been angrier. But not now. Now... Now Jisung was just tired. He smiled at Daniel, as brightly as he could manage. 

"It doesn't matter. I'm in need of a rest anyway. This entire thing has been so exhausting. And so long. I kind of want a break."

"You're gonna have to wait on that break. We still have one last song to go."

Jisung slumped against the wall. "Kill me now, please, I haven't slept in like a week." 

Daniel's grin grew. "And you have the some of the first lines." 

"Please don't remind, I'm gonna like fall asleep while I'm singing it. Just midway through the lyric, I'll just collapse." 

Daniel rolled his eyes. "Sure. Just know I won't catch you." 

"I knew I could rely on you!" Jisung said, beaming as exaggeratedly as possible at him. 

The staff were beckoning them over again.

"There's our cue to get changed." 

"Good, I hate this shirt. Who puts polka dots on anything nowadays?" 

Daniel turned to him, eyes suddenly serious and smile soft. "Just one song. You can do it. Then we don't have to compete anymore. Then we can just be Wanna One." 

If they got in that was. The words almost slipped from his lips. He wasn't getting in. He knew he wasn't. He was sitting outside the final eleven. He wasn't going to make it. That third place had been fluke, Mnet had changed it or something, to give him false hope. He wasn't going to be in Wanna One. He was going to end up in an office job, if he even managed to get one. Maybe he'd just be unemployed. Sit at home with his mom, in his 30s, dreaming of old days when he'd almost made it. 

He settled for a smile instead.

It took them surprisingly little time to get out of their Hands On Me costumes and into their Always ones, and then they being pushed back onstage, when it felt like they'd barely left it. 

Jisung didn't want to go back. He didn't want to have to keep pushing, to keep showing his everything, to keep fighting so hard that it hurt to breathe. He just wanted to rest. To have a break. He was broken down already, worn to the bone, he didn't want to keep going. He couldn't keep going. 

"Relax," Seongwoo said out of nowhere. Jisung whipped his head towards him and winced as a result. 

"I don't think I can really afford to. I wanna get into Wanna One. Don't you?"

Seongwoo rolled his eyes, shaking his head. "Yeah, but you don't need to be so scared for this. We're not competing here. It's just a goodbye song." 

Jisung wanted to protest to scream at him that he was wrong and that he had to give it everything, always and for every tiny event. But Seongwoo was right. He'd forgotten. He'd forgotten that Always wasn't meant to be an attempt to fight each other. It was just a goodbye. That was it. He could afford to relax. 

And as the lights lit up the studio again and the music drifted through the concert hall, Jisung let himself ease up on stage, in front of everyone, for the first time. And just took a moment to bury himself in the song. To try to enjoy it, rather thinking of how it drove him towards the ultimate moment, the reveal of Wanna One. 

And as he opened his lips and sang his lines, he found they were no weaker because of it. If anything, they were better, they were more powerful and more beautiful and more emblematic of him. They weren't perfect, but they didn't need to be. They were human. He'd chased perfection for so long, he'd never had a chance to visit his own progress. To see his own journey. 

The audience was watching them with rapt attention. They never took their eyes off the stage. It was the first time he'd actually had the chance to see their faces. And they were so many of them. But he tried to take in all of them, tried to capture their features, tried to remember their expressions because even they weren't there for him, they were there. They'd made the effort to come to support their boy. They cared about them. It felt strange to acknowledge that, to see the signs with his own name and face, to hear some people yell his name. Some part of him knew he was loved and yet, it felt like he was looking onto to such a visible display for the first time. 

The song flooded his ears and bonded to his soul and it felt like he was in dream. Like he was bound to wake up any moment to realise it was false. But even if it was, he was at least glad to have dreamt it.

There was none of the burning passion or hellbent determination from earlier. It was replaced by a strange peace, like they had entered the eye of the storm. It was sad, sure, to realise it was all almost over, but it was still calm. It was comforting, like a warm embrace or tender touch. It didn't hurt to perform like this. It felt like he was giving and getting into turn. Like he wasn't losing some of himself in the process of trying to put on a good show. He didn't need to shove hard, he just needed to put in some effort. And that was it. That was enough. It felt beautiful and warm and peaceful and Jisung wanted more of it. 

The fear had ruled everything for so long that letting go of it felt like a weight had finally been released from his chest and he could breathe properly again. Like he'd been set free from a cage he hadn't even realised he'd been trapped in. He buried himself in the warmth and comfort the song offered, the promise of always making the goodbye the song hinted towards feel less weighty. Less cruel. It was just a new chapter. The memories of the old would still be there. 

If this was what being a proper idol was like, he wanted it. He wanted to love performing again. He wanted to love singing again. He didn't want to have to worry every week about his ranking, to have to spend so long practicing and so long worrying about being eliminated. This was why he wanted to be an idol. To perform. To see everyone's faces, see them filled with countless emotions. To love what he did, no matter what. 

It was over far too fast. He was plummeting from the clouds, the heights he'd reached above the storm. He was back in the tempest of fear and anxiety, and his mind was fixed on one more place all over again. 

His hands were slick with sweat and his breaths were heavy and he could see the thrones from the corner of the stage as he left. He wanted one of them to be his. He wanted to get that feeling that Always offered again. He wanted to feel secure, if only for a little while. 

The heavy breathing from the aftermath of Hands On Me was replaced by a light panting. It was like everyone was taking a inhale before the reveal. He could hear faintly BoA outside. 

"It'll be over soon," he whispered, half to himself, half to everyone else. 

Daehwi looked over at him, his hands clenching at his top. "I hear the countdown." 

Daniel pricked up. "Yeah. It's at 5 now." 

"Five seconds and the results are settled and we can't do anything to change them," Sewoon mumbled. 

Jisung wanted to make a joke, something stupid but he couldn't even find it in himself to do so. 

"And it's done," Daniel said, looking over at them, "Voting's over." 

"Kind of expected it to be more dramatic than that," Dongho said quietly, "Not just 'voting's over'. Makes it seem like our careers aren't at stake." 

"I mean, that's reserved for the reveal," Minhyun said. 

"Yeah. Yeah, I guess so." 

"I don't know what I'll do if I don't make it," Samuel said, staring into his hands, "It's all I've been hoping for for months." 

"I don't know if my company will want to debut me since I'm... I'm...," Daehwi started, but trailed off, looking away as he did so, "I need this." 

"We all do," Jisung whispered, "We all need it. We wouldn't be here if we didn't. We'd have already debuted. We wouldn't have to fight each other to get it." 

The silence that followed was deafening. The staff began beckoning them again, and no one countered him. He didn't think anyone could. He wished they would. He wished someone would insist that he was wrong, that they were here just because their companies wanted them to be, not because they had no hope. But no one did. 

He moved over to Daniel as they went over to hair and makeup. 

"You ready?" Daniel asked and the smile on his face seemed more subdued than usual. 

Jisung wanted to lie. To say that he was, that he couldn't wait, that he was confident. But he couldn't. He couldn't find it in himself to do so. 

"Daniel, I'm scared." 

He felt naked saying it. He'd put down all those defences he held so dear and shown his soul to Daniel. He was scared of losing but he was scared of Daniel rejecting him even more, scared of being pushed away. It would cut so deep if he did that Jisung flinched at the thought. This was himself, pure, vulnerable and simple, he was showing to Daniel and he didn't think he'd be able to survive a rejection of his very being. 

But Daniel just smiled, and Jisung let out a sigh of relief, even if it was dimmer than before. 

"You'll get it. You promised. We have to be confident. I don't want to begin doubting everything now. We can do it."

The corners of Jisung's lips lifted in the barest hint of a smile. Maybe they could. Deep down, he still thought that one place more was one place too many but he didn't want to give into that fear. Not now. So he took Daniel's word for it. He couldn't dispute his confidence, his certainty. Not when Daniel had offered it so willingly. 

"Yeah. I will. Promise you won't debut without me." 

That smile glowed again for one shining moment. "I promise. We're package deal, remember?" 

"Yeah. Could never forget." He paused and fixed his gaze on him and said with as much sincerity as he could muster, "Thank you." 

Daniel waved his hand dismissively. "Don't worry about it. I still owe you. And we've got a competition to win. Can't afford to doubt ourselves. So let's do this. Fighting!" 

Jisung's smile was so wide it threatened to hurt his cheeks. "Fighting!" 

Now, all he had to do was debut. And now, it was beginning to seem possible. Now he had hope again, at the very least. And as cruel as it could be, he needed it now.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Second-last chapter. Next week's the final one, guys and it's a long one 😅 like easily 4000 words longer than any of my previous chapters. Probably because I'm a little attached xD


	37. XXXVI

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Well. This is it. The final chapter. It's also extremely fucking long, for which I apologise xD I couldn't bear to cut any of it though 😅  
> Also, surprise, it's from Daniel's POV :D

Daniel was scared.

His fear had become too familiar an entity over the past few months, and it returned now, like an old, unwelcome friend. 

He stared up at the towering colossus of the first place throne, and it seemed to call to him, to invite him to challenge for it but he didn't dare accept its challenge. He knew he wouldn't win. Debuting would be enough. Debuting would be enough. He just needed to keep his place. 

So he lowered his gaze and focused on the tenth seat instead. He had to be reasonable. They weren't going to let a vampire into the first place position. He wasn't going to grasp for hope when there was none. 

He could hear Jisung's heart hammering beside him, going like a jackhammer. The stench of sweat permeated the air, from all the trainees around him, except maybe the other two vampires. They were all scared together, at the very least. 

Daniel glanced over at Jisung -- and much too fast. His mind screamed at him for a few moments, that vague sensation of dizziness seeping into his brain. Jonghyun had mentioned something about it being a reflex, the brain trying to cope with newfound speed. It didn't make it any less annoying.

Jisung noticed and glanced over at him, smiling that fake smile he did when he was worried and pretending not to be. 

He tried to smile back. 

"The voting results for the final debuting members will start right now." 

The spotlights came on and he did his best not wince as his eyes adjusted to the bright light. It was worse when they began flashing. He sometimes just wanted to knock them out, give his eyes a break for once. 

The throne was still calling, and he still refused to look at it. The last time he'd given in to temptation, he'd gotten his drink spiked and been turned. 

"Only eleven of them will be able to debut."

He wanted to debut so badly that it ached. He couldn't see another way into being an idol, not outside this. No other company would take him on, no matter what the others said. He had to be in the final eleven. He had to. 

"The nine trainees who fail will have to return to their companies." 

Maybe he'd join the police if he failed. Hunting seemed to be the only other thing he was good at. His mind flitted back to Changho and he grimaced. Maybe not. 

But that aching desire to hold onto the dream of becoming an idol was strangling him. It was what the old Daniel wanted so badly. One of the few things that connected them. Maybe he was hanging onto his past too much but he didn't know what he was without it. His family had been defined by their past, dictated by it. He still didn't know how to let that go, even when they'd long since abandoned him. 

"A total of 16,121,922 votes have been cast." 

How of them were for him? Was it enough? His fists were clenched so tightly that he thought he'd draw blood. Not that it would matter. It would heal up in a few minutes.

"Tonight too, the 11th member will be the last to be revealed." 

His stomach lurched. The thought of the last place announcement brought back memories he'd rather leave behind.

His eyes drifted towards the throne again, as though it was covered in blood and he was starving. He forced himself to look towards the audience instead. He didn't want to consider it, he couldn't be let down again, have his heart torn out again. The wounds were too fresh and he didn't want to risk opening them. 

His mom stared up at him from the crowd. Her smile was so warm that it made him want to hug her again. Hope and faith coloured her eyes, lighting up her smile. He hadn't seen that expression since he'd said to her that he wanted to be a hunter like her when he was eight. 

He smiled back as brightly as he could. He hadn't even expected her to be here. His eyes stung and he really didn't want to cry, not when his crying was so ugly and nothing had even happened yet. So he choked them down, as best he could, tried to kill them before they had a chance to take hold. 

"10th placing trainee." 

The heartbeats around him got louder and the breathing got heavier. He could almost smell their fear, bitter, ugly and all-too familiar. 

"During 'Nayana', this trainee was F level and couldn't stand on stage." 

Not him or Jisung or Seongwoo. Or Daehwi. Or Jonghyun. Or even Jihoon or Samuel or Woojin, both of th -- 

No. His Woojin had already been eliminated. He wasn't getting through. He couldn't get through. 

"His total votes are 807,749, C9's Bae Jinyoung."

Everyone wrapped into a massive group hug around Jinyoung, his eyes massive as he blinked rapidly. Daniel followed suit, trying not to inhale too deeply when surrounded by that many warm bodies, heartbeats thumping so loud that he could almost feel the blood pumping in his ears. 

He wasn't even hungry -- he'd literally had blood yesterday -- but maybe those hunter instincts that had been hammered into brain still lingered, warning him that he might break at any moment and try to rip someone's throat out. It was stupid. He knew it was stupid. Even when he'd been in the really early days of being a vampire, he'd never wanted to rip someone apart for blood. He'd been hungry at times, sure, and sometimes the others smelled appetizing but it was never a strong enough urge for him to act on it. 

He inhaled shallowly anyway.

His eyes darted to Daehwi, who barely seemed bothered at all, hugging Jinyoung just as tightly as the rest of them, talking at rapid pace. Something ugly twisted in him. Daehwi already seemed so much more comfortable with being a vampire than he ever had, even after a turning more traumatic than his own and with barely two weeks of being one. It'd been four months and Daniel still felt like he had to wrestle with that fucking hunter mindset almost constantly. 

The group dispersed and Daniel shoved those thoughts down to the depths. Jinyoung made his way up to the stage, eyes still huge.

"10 more places left," Jisung whispered from behind him, his voice fraught with that worry he tried to hide so often. 

Daniel nodded. He could jump two places, right? Maybe nine would be his. Maybe even eight. 

Or maybe he'd fallen all over again, right when it mattered most. He could almost feel his heartbeat spike when he looked at the eleventh seat but he knew full well by now it was his imagination, filling in for a missing sensation. 

His eyes followed Jinyoung to the tenth seat, the huge eyes having transformed into a massive grin. When he got in, he'd have to get to know him better. They'd talked like once or twice. 

If he got in. 

He was teetering at the edge at the moment, he couldn't afford to making promises about what would happen if he made it. If he was pushed down, just one spot, that was it. Those above him could afford to fall, but he couldn't. 

"9th placing trainee." 

Daniel clenched his fists again. Please, please let it be his name. He didn't want to wait any longer. He didn't want a repeat of the first round. He didn't want to fall. He couldn't fall. 

"In the Concept Evaluation, in Never..." 

Daniel's shoulder slumped. More waiting. He heard Jisung's heartrate slow again behind him. 

Jonghyun was looking back at them, a half-smile on his face. 

He'd forgotten about Jonghyun. He wanted him to make it through, he deserved to make it through. He'd worked so hard. He'd helped everyone the whole way. The Nation's Leader couldn't not make it in. He'd fallen in the last evaluation but those were just rumours. No one could prove them, right? He wouldn't get eliminated because of that? They wouldn't kick him out, after all he'd done, just because he might be a vampire? 

Then again, they'd done that to him. His dad had once told him that vampires liked to work in patterns. Same feeding habits, same types of victims, same types of hideouts. He'd missed the fact that humans were much the same. They'd push Jonghyun out just like they had him, without hesitation. 

"With 862,719 votes, Pledis'..." 

He jerked his head over to Jonghyun and for a moment he dared to hope, to believe that maybe, just maybe the audience had dismissed the rumours, or that they hadn't cared about them and that maybe a vampire could make it into Wanna One, even if his identity as one was hidden.

But BoA dashed those hopes with her next few words. 

"Pledis' Hwang Minhyun!" 

Another group hug, with the NU'EST members in the thick of it. All of them looked like they were on the verge of tears, so far from the usual controlled composure they usually had. Even Jonghyun looked like he was about to burst into sobs at any moment but he was beaming, like his smile would hide the tears. Daniel hoped for his sake that he wouldn't cry. The audience didn't need confirmation of those rumours.

Or maybe it was for his own sake. Some ugly part of him was still repulsed by those blood tears. His mom had hated them more than his dad had. She'd used to say that only demons would cry blood instead of water. That it was clear sign of their inhumanity. That it proved that they were right, to wipe the world of such creatures, who were so far from human that they couldn't even cry right.

His eyes drifted to the crowd, finding his mother and trying to bury those stinging memories of acidic words under the one of her wiping away the blood tears she'd once detested. She beamed up at him and he tried to smile back, even as it felt like his cheeks refused to co-operate. 

Minhyun took the ninth seat. He'd never seen him so all over the place before, so shocked and so close to tears.

Nine more left. 

The music shifted again. Back to waiting. 

"The 8th placing trainee. Among trainees, he's become well known for his unique character."

Jisung's breath hitched. Seongwoo's heartbeat was racing. 

Daniel hated it. He hated that two of the people that meant most to him were being pitted against each other. Why couldn't let them both through? They both deserved to get through. Or maybe he just wanted them both to get through. He couldn't tell the difference. 

But Jisung was lower down. He wasn't even in the top eleven. Seongwoo was seated in 7th. He could rise higher.

"He has a total of 902,098 votes."

Daniel felt that all-too familiar discomfort in his chest and he inhaled deeply. Those tiny movements, the small indicators of his humanity, kept slipping his mind, far too easily. He tried not to forget but it was so easy -- he'd move too fast or forget to breathe and he'd been reminded of everything all over again. 

He turned back to look at Jisung, and he was smiling that stupid smile again, the one where he hid everything all too well. He returned it anyway, and maybe it was just his imagination but Jisung's smile looked at little more earnest. He hoped he got through. He needed him to get through. If he managed to get in, he didn't want to be there without Jisung. Not after everything. 

"MMO's Yoon Jisung." 

Jisung's heart skipped a beat. Daniel spun around to face him, his jaw slack and his chest bursting with pride and the smile on his face feeling so massive in comparison to the weak ones before. He'd fucking done it. He'd made it in. He'd managed to claw up those four places and get in. 

Jisung was staring blankly ahead of him, his eyes bulging from his skull. His hands were shaking. And then as everyone crowded around him, with what was easily the most passionate hug to date, those eyes darting around at them, as he stood frozen in place.

If anything, Daniel was happier about the outpouring of love from the trainees than Jisung getting in. He hoped the group hug showed him that they did appreciate him, that his insecurities didn't have to be buried away beneath those impenetrable walls, that they were there for him. It was so hard to get him to open up about anything, so hopefully it helped, if even just a little. 

Jisung's heartrate had begun racing, like he'd finally realised he'd gotten in. The group hug still hadn't dispersed and Daniel realised he was probably going to shove his way in if he wanted a chance to hug him before he went up to his deserved position. 

The crowd of bodies and the scents that made his mouth water still terrified him, irrational or no, but Daniel pushed it down. Jisung had been strong for him more times than he could count. The least he could do was return the favour. 

So he held his breath and slipped in through the bodies, relying on his hearing to pick out Jisung's heartbeat. The bright stage lights were almost blinding in their intensity, like they were trying to burn his eyeballs out of his skull.

Jisung found him first. Warm arms wrapped around his torso, that familiar scent of yaksik and cinnamon flooding his nose, the sound of his heartbeat growing that much louder.

"Please make it in," Jisung whispered, and his voice was wobbly, "Please. I don't want to get in without you." 

Daniel swallowed, but a lump was growing in his throat. "I promise," he said and it came out more watery than he'd expected, "We're a package deal, remember?" 

Jisung let out a wet laugh and Daniel pulled away, trying to smile as brightly as he could, even as his eyes stung.

"Go grab your place, hyung." 

Jisung's eyes were watering and he nodded, his breaths heavy, bordering on sobs. 

The smile on his face grew that little bit wider. It was weird to feel proud of someone so paternal, but it was bursting out of his chest like a chick escaping an egg. 

Jisung all but stumbled onwards, wrapping himself into another hug with Daehwi who was still stood at the edge of the group. Daehwi's chest stilled and he froze when Jisung pulled him into an embrace, but he melted into it before long. Jisung gave the best hugs, after all. 

And then he turned away, walking like a man with shell-shock to the thrones. 

Jisung's dad was in the crowd. He hadn't expected him to come. He'd expected the giant grin on the man's face and the pride in his eyes even less. 

His eyes combed through the crowd for the barest of moments, something warm blossoming in his chest. And then he remembered and he was a fucking idiot for even hoping. His heart stung and he let it go. He was just happy for Jisung that his dad had come. 

Jisung lifted the mic to his lips, his hands shaking so badly that Daniel thought he'd drop it. He lowered the mic and buried his face in his hand, shoulders trembling violently. A deep breath. He raised the mic to his lips again.

Another deep breath. "I -- I didn't expect this at all. I thought I was a hopeless case. I thought I was done for. I thought I was going to have to stop being an idol after this." 

A loud outcry from the audience. 

Jisung smiled, eyes glistening under the bright lights. "Yeah. Produce 101 was my last chance. I thought I wasn't going to make it, because... because I kept falling and I -- I didn't see why you'd vote for me --" His voice cracked and he hid his face behind his hand again. 

Another cry from the audience. 

Jisung swallowed, Adam's apple bobbing, and his usual giant smile spread across his face. "I want to thank you, the Nation's Producers, for using your votes to choose me and for my mentors and trainers who helped guide me along. I want to thank my Mom and Dad for letting me follow my dream even when it took so long." 

That smile faltered, his voice growing wet. "Most of all, I want to thank the other trainees. Uh. I was going through a tough time and they helped me out a lot. I think I'm doing better now. I'll work really hard on being a member of Wanna One had make sure my stages never disappoint. Thank you so much." He bowed deeply, and Daniel could hear the loud sobs finally break through.

Daniel's eyes stung. He tried to smile instead. He hadn't expected Jisung, of all people, to finally admit weakness in front of a giant audience. 

Jisung stood back up again, his face now wet with tears as he coughed and hiccupped his way to his seat, each one jerking through his body as thought it was a force of nature that Jisung had no control over. He slipped into two more hugs, with Jinyoung and Minhyun, still shaking like a leaf. His chest was heaving and when he sat down he curled over into himself, his head buried into his hands, placed in his lap. Daniel barely pushed down the urge to race up to him.

The music changed again. Daniel tore his gaze from Jisung and back towards BoA. One of his friends was safe. Now he just had to hope the others were. And himself. 

"And now, onto the 7th placing trainee." 

If he'd pushed up as many places as Jisung, this seat would be his. He needed it to be his. He'd gladly take any of the seats. Jisung might have been disappointed in him, for not aiming higher. For the not going for the first that Jisung thought he deserved. Daniel hadn't thought about first place since he'd fallen so far in the first round. Even getting it now seemed impossible. Not when everyone knew. Debuting would be enough. Debuting would be more than enough. All he needed to do was to get one of the remaining seats. 

"This trainee's Concept Evaluation, the Never stage..." 

He wanted it to be Jonghyun. He needed it to be Jonghyun. If he got through, he didn't know how he'd do it without him. Even if he now had Xiumin. But Xiumin probably wasn't going to be around an awful lot. EXO was one of biggest groups in the world, second only to BTS, surely they were going to be busy. There probably wouldn't be much time for him, even if Xiumin did his best to get around to him. 

So maybe it was selfish, but Daniel wanted to have another vampire, an older one, there with him. He knew Jisung would be there and probably Seongwoo as well, but they weren't vampires. He couldn't talk to them about everything. Especially not about most of the stuff that bothered him. 

Then again, all of this relied on him getting in. He wasn't exactly in a position to be sure of his debut with Wanna One. 

"Cube's Lai Guanlin." 

Daniel hated himself for it, but his heart sunk. The massive smile on Guanlin's face made his stomach twist even more. And worst of all, even though he barely knew him, Guanlin went and hugged him, just like he did everyone else. He didn't have a chance to stop breathing before Guanlin wrapped his long arms around him, but it didn't matter. The stench of guilt burned at his nose. 

Some part of him still wanted it to be Jonghyun, to insist that it had to be Jonghyun but he had no right to do that. He didn't want to ruin the nervous excitement pouring off Guanlin in waves. So he kept his mouth shut and let the shame linger at the back of his mind, present but distant, so he could swallow it a bit more easily. The aftertaste was no less disgusting. 

"The 6th place trainee. This trainee, probably, when Produce started, would not have imagined rising to such a high position in the group." 

For a second, Daniel dared to hope. He hadn't placed that high at the start, right? He hadn't imagined to rising so high, right? They meant him, surely, they had to, it was already too high and he couldn't have pushed up any higher, not in the final round. It had to be him. 

But he knew. He knew deep down, in his heart of hearts, it wasn't him they were referring to. He'd been in the top 25 in the first round. The top eleven had been within reach. It slipped out of his hands within a few weeks, but that didn't change the fact that he had been so very close to the top at the start. 

Woojin was breathing heavily behind him, as his heart raced and Daniel clenched his jaw. It was obviously him. No one had made such a massive jump upwards out of the twenty remaining.

"With 937,739 votes, Brand New Music's Park Woojin." 

Woojin's heart beat spiked and he inhaled sharply. The group gathered around him again, shaking him and hugging him and cheering. Woojin looked so pale that he almost looked like he was the vampire Brand New Music trainee. 

Daehwi was watching from the edge, lip trembling as he stepped forward before putting his foot back again. Over and over again. 

The distinctive smell of gochugaru that marked Woojin's presence grew stronger and suddenly he was in the middle of another hug. 

"You better debut too, I need another person from Busan to talk to about Busan stuff." 

Daniel hugged back, leaning into it. "What kind of Busan stuff? How much they hate vampires? How great hunting is? How many times people have wondered how the hell that vampire down the street is still alive? Because those are gonna be tricky topics for me, since, y'know, I'm a vampire." 

Woojin pulled back, and rolled his eyes dramatically. "You know what I mean. You better debut. Daehwi needs a vampire buddy."

The smile on his face felt awfully small. "I'll try." 

Woojin nodded and smiled hugely, his snaggletooth on full display. Then he moved onto the next victim of his hug -- Daehwi. 

Daehwi hugged back without hesitation. The two walked around in a circle, clasped so tightly onto each that it seemed like they'd never separate. Woojin kept patting Daehwi on the back, and Daehwi buried his face into his shoulder. It seemed like an eternity before they pulled away and Woojin went up to give his speech. 

Only six places left. The top five and eleventh. Both of them seemed equally unreachable somehow. As though holding onto his position from last week was impossible. The only path that seemed visible was the one downwards.

"At this stage, we have already announced half of the debuting members. And now, to reveal the 5th placing trainee."

The thought almost made his heart skip a beat. Except his heart didn't beat. Only six positions. He had to get one of them. He needed one of them to be his. He'd made it this far, pushed and worked and powered his way up, week after week, constant effort, constantly giving it all his all. He had to make it. He couldn't afford to be eliminated, not now. Not after everything. 

"This trainee suits the colour pink extremely well." 

Daniel's head snapped up. Did they mean the pink hair? It sounded stupid, even in his mind, but Produce was pushed everyone to hoping, even when it was stupid. 

And then she continued on to say he'd made into A level at the auditions and it all crumbled in his hands again. 

If only he'd made to A level in the first round. If only they hadn't thought about him being a vampire, if they'd ranked him like everyone else, he would've been in A, he would've been in contention for the spot. 

But he knew he wouldn't. The trainee would probably be the same. All that would be different would be that he'd made into A level in the first round and wouldn't have have to move with Nayana. It wouldn't have changed anything. He was just delusional, so drunk on hope and desperation he couldn't think straight. 

"With 984,756 votes, Fantagio Ong Seongwoo." 

Daniel didn't acknowledge what had just been said at first. The screaming blocked it out. All he knew was that Seongwoo's heart had suddenly begun racing. 

And then the words finally made sense and a victory cry slipped out of his mouth before he had a chance to control it. He moved on instinct, faster than humanly possible, and all but leaped into a massive hug with Seongwoo. 

Seongwoo didn't react for a few seconds and then he was hugging him back even tighter, laughing like a madman and grinning so widely that Daniel couldn't help but mirror it. He somehow managed to ignore the usual mouth-watering smell that came with Seongwoo. Even when he smelled like chocolate and coffee and warmth and sweetness, like something you'd find in a small coffee shop that no one else knew about but you where they made the best cakes and treats, baked so earnestly and with such warmth that nothing could compare. Joy overpowered it and it was sweeter than anything else Daniel had ever smelled. 

He didn't want to let go, wanted to hold onto this moment forever. Where he was with one of the most important people in his life and victory overpowered his usual screaming senses. It felt like something out of a fairytale, where it was all perfect and he'd finally achieved the happy ending. In that moment, the world was made up of soft edges and warm colours and nothing could ever go wrong again. 

But it was only a moment and Seongwoo was pulling away again. Warmth leaked out from in between in his arms and he was back to the usual cold hues that defined his world. They could be pretty sometimes but the ice was biting. Maybe it was just that he missed the warmth. 

"You have to debut with me," Seongwoo whispered, his breath tickling Daniel's ear, "I need my partner-in-crime. We still have a ton of shopping trips to go on." 

Warmth bloomed in his cheeks and in his heart. "I will. You better bring money. I might buy more next time." 

"Bring your own money, Daniel, I'm not loaded. You're making me regret speaking already." He paused, as he stepped back and those dark eyes met Daniel's own, but they were alight with millions of stars, electrified and burning. "You've come too far not to debut. Show the world that a vampire can really make it. Even one as dumb as you." 

A grin spread across his cheeks and he rolled his eyes. "I will. I promise. I will." 

A nod in response, and for a moment, those stars in his eyes became obscured by the cloud of fear. But it passed and that massive grin returned. Then Seongwoo made his way up to the stage, bowing profusely as he did so. Then he turned back to face him, smiling the entire way and Daniel's heart twisted. 

He hoped he could keep his promise. He wanted to keep his promise. Now he had so many people relying on him. He couldn't afford to break it. But he had no control over it. It was out of his hands and even as he tried to will it to be true, the Nation's Producers could still turn on him on something he hadn't even realised was a problem. 

It seemed like he was always powerless nowadays. Like he could never take his fate into his own hands. Instead, people he'd never met, with their thousands of thoughts and judgements controlled his destiny. It was only through pleasing them he could make it. And he tried. But it only ever seemed like he could do the bare minimum. 

And sometimes even that wasn't enough. They shifted and swayed, like moving sands and Daniel could only ever do his best but they could find a thousand flaws he'd never seen. And even when his own performance, his own abilities dictated his chances to survive the next round, like they had in the Position Evaluation, he couldn't help but wonder if it was a fluke. Maybe they only voted for him because they felt sorry for him. Or because they had a weird vampire fetish. Or because they thought he was good-looking. And if that was the case, then the control from winning the Evaluations was just an illusion. They would've voted for him anyway, no matter his performance. Maybe his abilities were pointless. 

But he didn't have a chance to wonder why people voted for him. He just had to pray that they had. Especially now. Especially when he was so close to debut. When all he had to do was keep his position and then he'd be through. He'd have finally debuted. The worry and fear that gripped the competition would be gone. He would only have to worry about pleasing the fans and if he messed up in front of them, he wouldn't have to pay with it with a fall in the rankings and fear for his chance for debut. It would just be a mistake. That's all it would have to be. 

"Now, for the fourth place trainee. Among the trainees who have 'captured' the National Producers hearts, he's a trainee who sang most of the major parts..." 

Daniel's heart sunk again. The only singing parts he'd gotten were as a result of obligation. He'd wanted to rap but he hadn't had a chance to. He doubted fourth place was going to be him. It was beginning to get exhausting, hoping and being let down over and over again. He couldn't see himself jumping any higher than fourth. He'd already been pushing it even hoping for fourth. Seven places in the final episode would've been insane. 

Maybe Daehwi would get fourth. He wanted him to get through more than anyone. Seeing what he'd gone through in the last two weeks, he deserved that in the very least. He couldn't imagine Daehwi not getting in. He could come to terms with his own failure to debut but not Daehwi's. Daehwi not getting in would be cruel. 

"With 1,051,735 votes, Individual trainee Kim Jaehwan."

A sharp intake of breath came from behind him, followed by a massive gasp, the type that only Jaehwan could've managed. He wanted to be happy for him. Jaehwan was probably the best vocalist here. He deserved to get in. But it still stung, stabbing at his frozen heart like a blade and he wished it was him up there. He wished his name had been called out instead. 

Because there was no chance that he'd made it any higher. He'd have to wait for eleventh now. Bile welled up in his throat, burning and ugly and he felt sick to his core. It was like the first elimination all over again. He'd thought he'd made it to the top. 

Only that time he'd been lucky enough to push out of the elimination zone. He didn't know if he'd have a chance to now. Maybe even eleventh was too high. The thrones at the top no longer seemed to be whispering for him to seek them out. The murmurs from them were twisted and they loomed over him, all cruel lines and sharp edges, threatening and merciless. Warning him to stay away. Warning him to abandon hope.

"Now, for the third place trainee."

Daniel didn't bother hoping for himself. It had gone too far out of his reach. Maybe Daehwi or Jihoon would claim it. Part of him wanted Daehwi to get it, so he woundn't have to wonder if he'd gotten through for any longer. But Daehwi needed to be higher. Needed him to push upwards. Needed to win it. It was the least he deserved after everything that had happened to him. It was the least the world could do for him. 

"This trainee up till now has never once fallen out of the debut ranks of the top eleven before." 

There were only two left who'd never dropped below eleven. Jihoon and Daehwi. Either way, someone would be dropping. Something nagged at him that it would be Daehwi, that the first place had been just a fluke, a sympathy vote. Now that the audience had gotten over it, Daehwi was bound to fall. The question was, how far? And if Jihoon claimed 3rd, would Daehwi even make it into the final eleven? 

The audience probably weren't go to let two vampires through. One had been pushing it. Two was impossible. It seemed like something out of those stories his mom used to tell, where the doomed hunters miraculously managed to overpower the wicked vampires. Well. Except now he was gunning for the vampires. 

"With 1,102,005 votes, Brand New Music's Lee Daehwi." 

Daniel half-expected to hear Daehwi's heart rate pick up, like everyone else's before him. The new familiar of silence greeted him instead. He'd gotten so used to the steady, quick thrum of Daehwi's heart that its absence made the hairs on the back of his neck stand on end. 

That was when it clicked. Daehwi had made it through. Daehwi had done it. He might not have won it but he was in. He was one of the final eleven. 

Daniel's heart soared. He'd fucking done it. Daehwi had managed to prove that a vampire could make it into Wanna One. He'd done the impossible. 

A group was beginning to gather around Daehwi, ready to hug him and congratulate him like they had the others, but they suddenly scattered. Daniel's breath caught in his throat. 

He moved closer, through the circle of bodies, to see Daehwi just shaking his head. A sigh of relief slipped from his lips. He'd been expecting the worst.

"Sorry," Daehwi mumbled, his hands shaking and eyes on the floor, "I -- I just don't want to slip up and bite someone or something." 

"Don't worry about it," Samuel said from the crowd, a massive but soft grin on his face, "We're just glad you made it." 

A cheer of verbal congratulations rippled through the crowd, paired with a load of thumbs up. Daehwi's face lit up, and that adorable grin that seemed to so rarely appear was wide on his face. 

Daniel moved through the crowd to wrap Daehwi up in a hug. He sure as hell needed it. 

"Take it as your hug from everyone," Daniel whispered in his ear, holding Daehwi as close to him as possible, even as he didn't respond, "You did it, you're part of Wanna One." 

Slowly, Daehwi's slender arms moved up to wrapped around him. It felt weird to hug another vampire, after hugging a load of humans. Daehwi was smooth and cool, almost like he was hugging a marble statue, instead of the sweaty warmth of the others, marking them as alive. His heart was silent, unmoving and Daniel couldn't feel it beating against his chest or pumping in his ears. 

"You okay?" he whispered. 

"Yeah," Daehwi said, his voice strangled, "Yeah. Better. I just can't believe I made it in. I-- I was so sure I was gonna get el-eliminated."

"As annoying as you are, you're too cute to get eliminated." 

Daehwi snorted into his chest, but it seemed lighter than usual. 

Then another cool body wrapped their arms around them. Daehwi's head jerked up before Daniel even realised someone else had joined him. His body relaxed again when he saw who it was. Daniel glanced over to see Jonghyun, a massive grin on his face. 

"I figured I better join in on the vampire hug. It's only fair, considering I was a vampire first." 

Daehwi rolled his eyes but a smile was twitching on his lips. "You're like a full hundred years before us." 

"My point stands." 

The silence, punctuated only by their breaths, was strangely soothing, like dipping a hand into a still lake. The constant sound of heartbeats got a bit grating sometimes. It wasn't like how it was at the start, where every sense seemed to be overpowering and he couldn't ever sort through them, but it still wasn't easy. It felt they were too loud sometimes. There were too many of them. He was learning to block it out but it was hard. So it felt nice to not have to focus on them. To just have the three of them and their uncanny, comforting silence. 

"You guys are gonna debut, right?" Daehwi said, his voice so low it was bordering on silence, "I can't do it alone." 

"Yeah," Daniel said, "I will. I promise." 

These empty promises were beginning to pile up, filling the rooms of his mind with hollow boxes and unfulfilled wishes. He had to stop but he couldn't because maybe, just maybe those promises brought the dream closer to reality. Maybe if he promised enough people, reality would shift and let him debut. 

Jonghyun's voice was quieter. "I'll try. But I don't know if I can. I have no control over it. Even if I don't, you'll have the others." 

"Yeah," Daehwi said, halfheartedly, "But it's not the same. It won't be the same. I want you guys." He sounded younger than Daniel had ever heard him before, a cutting reminder that he was seventeen. That he wasn't even an adult. 

"Yeah, I know, but we can't do anything," Jonghyun said, "We did everything we could."

Daehwi nodded slowly and slipped out of the hands. "Thank you, for everything," he said, and it was so earnest it hurt. 

Daniel couldn't try to fake smile at it. The smile that lit up up his face was real one, even despite all the fear and worry and overthinking.

"Go claim your seat, Daehwi," Jonghyun said, a smile in his voice. 

Daehwi smiled broadly back at them and walked down the stage to settle in front of the pyramid. His eyes drifted over to the left and Daniel's followed them to see Somi clapping loudly, her eyes red with tears and her chest heaving. 

He thought Daehwi was going to cry the whole way through his speech. Every hitch seemed like a hidden sob, every pause a moment to hold back tears, every tremble a indicator of incoming teardrops. But nothing ever came. He just looked like he was on top of the world, smiling from ear to ear and thanking everyone. He didn't even acknowledge his turning. Or how hard the last few weeks had been. 

The endless joy and energy only slipped for a second, when he was thanking the staff. His eyes went huge and watery, the microphone shaking in his hands. His voice cracked. And then it was gone, and the giant beam was back. It was so small a moment that Daniel almost wondered if he'd been seeing things. 

It shouldn't have made Daniel smile but it did. He wasn't giving the sasaeng what she wanted. He was pretending as though she'd never existed. Hopefully she was watching from her prison cell and sobbing like a fucking baby. 

But even as Daehwi raced up to his seat, hugging everyone so tightly along the way that it seemed like he hadn't just struggled with the urge to bite his fellow trainees a few moments prior, something ugly niggled at Daniel's mind. 

He probably wasn't going to get into Wanna One. Daehwi was their arbitrary vampire, now they could claim they weren't being unfair. They had no need for him. The audience might vote, but Mnet manipulated the audience. They'd probably already implied that only one vampire trainee could make it in. And the audience had chosen Daehwi. 

Daniel wanted to be happy for him. He really did. But it was hard when his mind was consumed with the ugly thought of Daehwi taking his spot. He'd wanted Daehwi to get in and now that he had it, he hated it. He'd promised to too many people that he'd make it in. And now he had no chance. The thought kept eating away at his mind like a parasite, forcing him to think of it even when he really didn't want to. 

"Now we only have two positions left, outside of the eleventh. First and second." 

His eyes darted around him, trying to figure out who might make it to first. There were only two left who were high enough to contend for the first place position. Sungwoon and Jihoon. They seemed like the obvious choices. They seemed like the only choices. Third and second. Unless, by some miracle, Samuel managed to uproot one of them and go for it. And hopefully, hopefully he managed to claim eleventh. Unless Sewoon, Samuel or Dongho snatched it out of his hands. 

If he was being realistic, it was probably going to be Samuel. He'd only fallen out of the top eleven once. If he didn't debut, something was wrong. He deserved it, he was more than talented enough. He was probably one of the most talented guys here. Plus, Samuel had never had so much as a major disagreement with any trainee. Everyone liked him. So why wouldn't he debut? He was perfect for debut. 

"But first, before we reveal the winner of Produce 101 Season 2, we will reveal the two candidates for first on the screens."

The waiting began. Even Jihoon's normally calm heartbeat was racing. The atmosphere could cut through steel with ease. Who could manage to become the first centre for Wanna One? Who had the audience chosen? 

"The two trainees who are the candidates for first place are..."

He couldn't even so much as glance at the first place throne, its glare was so scathing. The way it had seemed to call to him moments earlier was a faint memory, replaced by sharp disapproval and pointed rejection, harsh enough to draw blood. His bandage itched on his arm. He just wanted the waiting to be over. To just have it over and done with so he could hope for getting eleventh despite all odds. He couldn't bring himself to care about first when he was hoping for last. 

"Will be revealed now."

The screens changed to show the two candidates. Jihoon was on the one side, which was no surprise. It would've been weirder if he hadn't been up there. The question was was Samuel or Sungwoon competing against him. The two of them were the most likely ones, considering Sungwoon had been third and Samuel fifth. He turned to look at the other screen. then he saw the other screen and his breath stopped. 

His own face, white as a sheet, stared back at him. 

There must've been some sort of mistake. He couldn't have possibly jumped up so far. He couldn't have, not in the final round. Contending for first was not meant to be his thing. He was meant to be scraping in, only just managing to enter into the final eleven. Not fighting Jihoon for first. 

The heartbeats slowed around him. Dongho was staring at him, open-mouthed, a gasp slipped out from someone behind him, Samuel had turned to look at him with massive eyes, a strange mixture of joy and jealously buried within and Jonghyun was grinning from ear to ear. Jisung stood up, hand clapped over his mouth, even as his eyes crinkled in the way that suggested he was smiling, Daehwi looked his beam was as big as it could get. Lee Woojin was clapping as loudly as he possibly could from the seats nearby, looking like he was ready to explode with joy.

Daniel waited for the screen to the change. It didn't. He'd actually done it. He'd somehow done it. He was up for first place, even with this only being the second elimination that he was in the top eleven. 

He couldn't breathe. He couldn't comprehend it. His mind was void and any attempt to think clearly was easily killed. 

All he could do was stare. His mind still raced to catch up but it seemed to move at a snail's pace. 

"Maroo Entertainment's Park Jihoon and MMO's Kang Daniel," BoA said and maybe he was seeing things, but there was a smile playing on her lips. 

Jihoon was staring at him with wide eyes and Daniel couldn't help but meet them. There was that weird look in his eyes, that one that he always tried to hide from him, full of desire and want, but it was mixed with something sharper than usual. Daniel was the one to break the stare.

"Will the two trainees who are the candidates for first place please step forward to the main stage." 

His mouth was dry. Stepping forward made it into reality. Not just some strange imaginary scenario he'd made up. He'd actually done it. He was actual contending for first. 

As he followed Jihoon's retreating back, his eyes darted to the sea of people surrounding them. They stared up with massive eyes and open mouths, some muttering angrily to those nearby, some grinning widely, some looking like they were still struggling to process it. He spotted that girl, the vampire he'd talked to in the shopping centre, her bunny-toothed beam massive on her face and a more mature looking woman behind her with a much softer smile on her face. She waved when he looked over to her and he just smiled back. He saw Jisung's dad, a strange expression on his face, turbulent and changing, before settling on something like resigned satisfaction. 

Then he met eyes with his mom and his still heart ached. She looked even prouder. Her eyes were shining and her smile was beaming and she looked like she was about to cry. His eyes stung and he bit back tears. He didn't want to cry. Not yet. 

They took their positions at either side of the stage. There was the sensation of someone staring into the side of his head and he met Jihoon's eyes again. They'd softened, melting from blades down to pools of warmth. His heartbeat had returned to the steady, almost-too-slow rate. 

"Good luck," Jihoon whispered, a pretty smile spread across his face. It looked a lot more genuine than the any of the others Daniel had seen. 

Daniel could help the smile back. "You too." 

Jihoon nodded in response and looked ahead, into the distance and Daniel followed suit. Butterflies (or maybe they were like bats or something, he had no idea what vampires had in their stomachs when they were nervous) were wriggling around in his stomach and he thought he was about to vomit. Him being here was impossible. It should have been impossible. No one could've jumped so high. 

But here he was. He'd done the impossible. He'd manage to clamber his way back up to the top, even despite everything. His father always boasted about how easy newborn vampires were too kill. Maybe he'd been wrong on that count because Daniel had clawed his way back from the dead.

"MMO Kang Daniel?" BoA said, suddenly.

Daniel whipped his head over to look at her. "Yes?" His voice came out more stable than he felt. 

"You managed to rise steadily from 60th to a candidate for 1st. How do you feel about being up here?" 

Daniel held the mic to his mouth and had no idea what to say. How did he feel about it? He was so deep in shock he couldn't even process his own feelings.

He opened his mouth and tried to say something anyway.

"I didn't expect it at all. I thought I'd be going home for the past few weeks. I'm... I'm really honoured to have been given this chance. I really grateful to the National Producers who used their precious votes to vote for me." 

BoA smiled softly and turned back to the crowd. "So, National Producers, who have you chosen as your final number one? Produce 101, number one rank trainee is... " 

The silence, the Produce 101's primary weapon, cut deep. It threatened to smother him in its vastness, so overwhelming that it snuffed out the screaming of the crowd. But as sharp as it was, its blade helped him think. Made his mind run wild with possibilities. 

The possibility that maybe he had won. That maybe he actually stood a chance against Jihoon, even if Jihoon had held the title of number one for longer than anyone and he hadn't even reached it. He almost dared to wonder if he could claim it. If he could actually do what he set out to do. His crushed dreams of number one, from back when he was human and full of hope and hate in the same breath, were actually beginning to return to life. Could he do it? Could he actually win it? It had been out of grasp for so long that now, when it was within an arm's reach, he was too afraid to try and grab it, afraid that it would melt in his hands. 

He'd been so sure he'd only scrape in. He'd been so sure that he was only getting votes out of pity or vampire fetishes and that eventually both would run out. He should've been hated by both vampires and hunter because he was a little too much either. No Man's Land. But now he was contending for first. But vampires had welcomed him with open arms after he'd hated them and cursed them and injured them. And maybe his grip on the hunters, on his past was just holding him back.

He met eyes with Jonghyun, still on the platform ahead of them. Jonghyun grinned massively. He couldn't even remember how it had come up in conversation, but he'd asked him once why he wanted to be a vampire. Mostly out of morbid curiosity. Jonghyun had shrugged and replied, "I wanted to see the future." 

Everyone saw vampires as a link to the past. Eternally preserved as how they once were. But maybe they were just a path to the future. A way of staying on the path of what was to come without collapsing and dying before reaching the good parts. Maybe it could be like that with him. Maybe he could let all of the hunter stuff go and just be an idol. A vampire idol, but an idol nonetheless. Maybe he could just be Kang Daniel, winner of Produce 101 and member of Wanna One instead of the Kang heir, the nameless only child to an ancient, blood-stained dynasty who got turned into the very thing his family hunted. 

"With 1,579,848 votes, Maroo Entertainment's Park Jihoon!" 

A cry burst through the audience and the silence was destroyed, and with it the thousands of thoughts that had been circling in his head. 

He thought he'd be more upset. More annoyed. Angrier. He'd expected to be so mad that his blood turned to ice and his nails dug into his fists. He'd been so hopeful to claim that first place. He'd wanted it so badly. It had been his dream just a few months ago. 

But instead, there was just acceptance. He didn't know what he'd been expecting. A vampire was never going to win Produce 101, Mnet would never allow it. At least the audience allowed him to have a shot at it, even if it was a pointless one. Jihoon was always going to win it. And Daniel could live with that. He couldn't hold against the world what he couldn't change. He was just glad to have been able to get into Wanna One at all. 

He turned to Jihoon and wrapped him in a quick hug. "Well done. You deserve it." 

Jihoon nodded against his shoulder. "Thank you but I... I kind of don't. I only won because you're the vampire trainee and I'm not." 

"No, Jihoon, you won because of you, not because of the vampire thing," Daniel said and they both knew he was lying, "Besides, I don't know if I wanted to win anyway. Too much of a burden." 

Jihoon stepped out of the hug and his eyes were sceptical. But he stayed quiet and turned to the audience, grinning massively and bowing deeply. 

Daniel couldn't help but wonder if they'd known about Jihoon's deep dark secret -- that he wanted to be a vampire -- would the playing field had been levelled. A vampire who never wanted to be one versus a human who did. 

Didn't matter. It was over now. 

"You are Produce 101's final number one rank, please tell us how you feel." 

Jihoon glanced over at him, looking an awful lot like a child who'd done something wrong and was waiting for someone to cop it. Daniel just smiled brightly at him. 

Jihoon swallowed and then turned his gaze back to the crowd. "I'm so grateful to the National Producers for gifting me with this position. I'm still in shock that I won over someone as amazing as Daniel and I want to thank him for being my competitor..." He began listing off gratitudes to his parents and the staff and his managers and on and on. 

Daniel's eyes got lost in the massive crowd. It seemed to stretch on for eternity. His mom was chatting with the women beside her, looking back to him with those eyes brimming with pride, as though second was just as good as first. It was stupid and small and his eyes brimmed with tears and he wanted to thank her for being his mom, to thank her for not throwing him to the side like everyone else had, for loving him with just as much passion after as she had before. 

That was when he noticed one of the faces was the girl from the shopping centre's sire, in the mix of mothers, chatting just as amicably as everyone else. Her eyes lifted to make eye contact with his and she smiled. It looked an awful lot like a mother's smile, even on the face of someone who was much too young to be one. Then again, sires were technically parents, so maybe she counted. 

He couldn't tell if there were any other vampires nearby, he was too far to hear their heartbeats (or lack thereof) and the crowd was too crammed to smell them. Maybe it was for the best. That way he couldn't laser focus in on them and maybe give something away or something.

Maybe there was some way of figuring out who the vampires were a large crowd. Maybe he'd ask Xiumin about it. Along with the five million other things he had to ask. It was like his thirst for knowledge was insatiable. The more he got the more he wanted. And when it came to vampires, it seemed like there was always something more than he didn't know. 

He used to be so sure of his knowledge of vampires. His father's own unwavering belief that he knew everything there was to know about vampires only seemed to egg it on. They'd seemed so simple. They were arrogant, bloodthirsty monsters who dared to defy the majority with their lack of conformity, had the audacity to act like they were better than them when they were subhuman. They existed only to crave for the good old days when they were able to feast on humans without defiance. All they did was kill and feast and hate. Hunters did humanity a favour by killing them. 

But now, when he knew more about them than ever, all he could ever see was the truth, just out of reach. 

The lying seemed so pointless and obvious when the truth was so close. It had never been more accessible. There were vampires in Busan after all. The few old, crazy ones but they were there nonetheless. And most of them were so integrated into their communities that hunters could never hope to find them. Maybe they lied to themselves to justify it. To make the murder easier. To give themselves purpose. To convince themselves they were still a necessary evil in a world where they had long since gone past their due date. 

"With 1,118,252 votes, the final 2nd place is MMO's Kang Daniel. Given the fact you had such an impossible climb upwards to claim this position, how do you feel?" 

Daniel snapped out of the depths of his thoughts and held the mic up to his mouth once more. Words seemed determined to evade him but he pushed on somehow. 

"I'm really grateful to everyone who voted. It's because of you I've managed to escape elimination and have been able to claim this position. I want to thank my mom, who's here tonight, the MMO staff and those from Produce 101 Season Two, my labelmates, the other Produce 101 trainees and everyone who supported me on this admittedly difficult path." 

Daniel took a deep breath, his eyes travelling over the crowd and searching all their faces in the sudden silence. Then just as it began to weigh too heavily on his shoulders, he spoke again.

"Um, I'm sure you all know, but I was turned, um, a few months earlier. Uh. Right before going on Produce 101. I think a lot of you know that it was a revenge turning and I kind of didn't get a say in it, which sucks, but what can you do?" His voice was about to crack and his hands shook but he shrugged as casually as he could. 

"So, these past few months haven't been easy. I mean, I don't think they've been easy for any trainee but you know what I mean." He paused, his eyes stinging. 

"I -- I felt pretty awful at the start of all this. I hated myself and I hated the person who did this to me almost equally. But... um, I'm lucky because I have a lot of really good friends and they helped me a lot. I mean, I'm even about to get a sire, which I thought was impossible. Um, I guess what I'm trying to say is that it's okay to hurt and it's okay to rely on others." He couldn't help glancing towards Jisung as he spoke. "I'm just glad that I managed to get through all of it, so that I could get to see all of you guys. I'm glad that you guys supported me even when I thought it was impossible for me to get here. So I want to do the same. I want to support you guys, as a member of Wanna One, and I want to make sure you guys all never have to hit rock bottom like I did. Thank you again for letting me into Wanna One." 

BoA put the cue cards in her hand down, that soft smile on her face. "I think we're all glad to have you here too, Daniel." 

Daniel's cheeks heated up and he smiled as brightly as he could at her. "Um, thank you," he said, bowing deeply. 

"You may take your seats at one and two respectively." 

The two of the nodded and bowed a few more times, before handing their mics to the guys at the side of the stage and walking up the steps, Jihoon leading. Daniel hesitated before stepping up the stairs. He still couldn't believe it. He'd actually made it in. And not only made it in, he'd gotten second. Second. Him. The smile that spread across his face was so big that it made his cheeks ache.

Daniel barely knew Jinyoung but he hugged him anyway. He was so happy that he wanted to hug all the trainees, even the ones he barely knew. Jinyoung was slow to hug back, but he did it eventually. He didn't even bother to hold his breath. He stepped back to see an unexpected, but small, smile on Jinyoung's face.

"Well done on getting in, Jinyoung. You deserved it." 

Jinyoung bowed as best he could in the small space, cheeks flushed red. "Thank you. Uh, I'm glad you got in too." 

It made his heart soar higher than expected and the smile on his face widened. "Thanks." 

Jinyoung nodded in response. 

He moved onto Minhyun, standing on the other side of the stairs. Minhyun seemed like the prickly, distant type -- at least he thought so -- but he started the hug. "I didn't expect it, to be honest, but you deserve it." 

Daniel's cheeks heated up again. "Thanks. You do too. Your group deserves a second chance, after Pledis f... mistreated you like that." 

Minhyun nodded against him. It was weird sensation to hug someone his own height, even slightly taller than him. He was so used to hugging his mom and Jisung and Seongwoo, all of whom were varying degree shorter than him but shorter nonetheless, that it felt almost... wrong to be the shorter one of the two. But it felt kind of nice, at the same time, like he was back hugging his mom when he was just a kid. Minhyun even kind of smelled like a parent, if that even made sense. 

They broke away after a short while. Minhyun nodded and patted him on the shoulder and Daniel just smiled in reply. 

He turned away to face towards Jisung and was pulled into a hug before he even had a chance to process what was happening. 

"I'm so glad you made it in." 

"Well, you did promise." 

Jisung hugged him tighter. "I thought I wasn't going to be able to keep it." 

There was a wet sensation against his chest and Jisung was breathing heavily. A part of it felt unnatural, that Jisung was crying against him. It was like watching a parent crying. Jisung had always seemed eternally upbeat, unwaveringly happy, invulnerable to pain and hurt and everything. Him crying at all was strange. 

But those tears were like an oasis in the desert. Jisung was finally opening up. He was finally comfortable enough to cry in front of him, in front of everyone, finally ready to open up, if only a little. But that tiny crack in Jisung's walls was enough, for now. Everything took time. He should know. It took him four months to get in some way comfortable with is own vampirism. And he still hated some parts of it. But he was doing better. He'd hit the bottom and now he was building a ladder to get up. 

"I'm so glad you made it in too," Daniel said, "They would've been stupid to not let you in. We can't debut without the mom friend." 

Jisung let out a watery snort, pulling away. "Thanks." He paused and his eyes drifted upwards. His glance only lasted a few seconds, before he looked away like he'd been burned. "You deserved first." 

"I'm just glad I got to debut at all. Second almost feels too high." 

Jisung snorted. "I know how that feels. But you earned it. You earned your place. I'm so proud of you for getting so high, with everything you had to deal with." 

Tears pricked his eyes. "Thanks, hyung. I guess I gonna have to get used to having the ultimate dumbass around." 

"Yeah," Jisung said, his face and voice wet with tears, "Yeah, I guess you are." 

Daniel tried to smile brightly but it felt more watery than it did bright. It was the attempt that matter. He walked up the stairs to the next group of people to hug. 

He slipped into a hug with Woojin pretty easily, with Guanlin joining them to make a group hug. That weird sensation of hugging someone taller than him came back but weaker. Guanlin felt a lot less like a parent than Minhyun did. Plus Woojin was balancing it out. 

It was a silent hug, with no one bothering to say anything while it happened. Daniel was almost glad for it. It felt comforting. He didn't have to talk. He could just enjoy the warmth of two new bandmates. He kind of almost felt like he didn't know them that well. He knew Woojin far more but even he seemed like he was solely defined by his connection to Busan and Daniel couldn't name any of his interests or hobbies or favourite foods off the top of his head. Guanlin he didn't know at all. 

Didn't matter. He'd had plenty of time to rectify that now. 

The hug broke up and the other two went back to their seats. Daniel slipped over to the other side. 

Seongwoo wrapped him into a tight hug when he was still on the steps. His breath caught in his mouth as that distinct scent of Seongwoo flooded the air, like chocolate and coffee and cake, sweet and rich.

"I knew you were gonna make it," Seongwoo said, and Daniel could almost taste his excitement, like popping candy and electricity. 

"Did you place bets?" 

Seongwoo rolled his eyes but that breathtaking smile grew on his face. "Should've. Could've made some money. To fund your stupid shopping sprees." 

His cheeks warmed. "Wow, thanks, Ong." 

"What can I say? I'm an exceptionally kind person. I wasn't even gonna spend it on myself." 

He punched Seongwoo on the shoulder. A wince followed, too subtle to be fake. 

"Sh-- sorry. Four month old vampire." 

"Yeah, yeah, the baby vampire excuse again." That smile returned.

"I'm just glad you're debuting with me," Daniel whispered. 

The comedy fell away and in its place was an unexpected earnestness. "Me too. I didn't want to do it alone." 

Daniel squeezed his hand and smiled brightly at him and the corners of Seongwoo's mouth lifting up at the edges rewarded him. 

The hug with Jaehwan was quick. Maybe it was because they barely knew each other. They'd only ever seen each other through performances and episodes but Daniel couldn't really ever remember talking to him. Someone else he'd have to get to know better as a member of Wanna One. 

Up the stairs again. Jihoon was standing in front of the first place seat, like he was too afraid to sit down with Daniel having sat down first. He'd be a little while longer. He had two more people to hug.

He couldn't tell which one of them started it in the hug with Daehwi. It was like they both moved so fast that they just slammed into each other and wrapped their arms in an embrace and called it a hug. 

Daehwi held him so tightly that it was almost like he was afraid that if he let go, Daniel would just vanish. Sobs burst from Daehwi's chest immediately, full and heartbreaking, so big that seemed to shake his tiny body. 

His words came out jumbled and messy. "I'm so glad you made it, I couldn't do it if you hadn't, I wouldn't be able, I wouldn't know what to do, thank you, thank you, I need you, I wouldn't be able to do this without you."

Daniel had no words to comfort him. Anything that he could say would ring hollow, wouldn't be able to get across what needed to be said and what Daehwi had to hear. So Daniel just held him tight and listened to the whimpering and sobbing until he managed to find some sort of words that he could comfort him with. 

Daehwi snuggled in tight, the massive sobs beginning to ease into softer whimpers. Daehwi was easy to hug, between the lack of a heartbeat hammering in his ears, the small size, the coolness and the lack of an appealing scent (he used to smell like ice cream and caramel, almost as good as Seongwoo but lacking something that Daniel could never quite pin down. Now he just smelled sweet, but in a kind of vague, faded, unappealing way). Hugging Seongwoo and Jisung was enjoyable and comforting but it wasn't nearly as easy as hugging Daehwi was.

"I'm not going anywhere," was all he managed, after a while, "I promise. I won't let you debut alone." 

Daehwi nodded, his breathing still heavy. "T-thank you," he mumbled, his fists relaxing their grip on Daniel's uniform, "I'm sorry, I was just so scared that I'd lose control and no one would be strong enough to stop me. And I'd... I'd hurt someone or something. It's stupid, I kn--"

"Don't worry. Don't worry. I won't let you do that. I'm here. I'll make sure you keep it all together. And it's not stupid. It's hard to break out of the mindset that you're more dangerous and thirsty than you actually are." 

Daehwi nodded, a few more sobs slipping out. "I'm sorry. I ruined your uniform." 

Daniel waved his hand dismissively. "Don't worry. It's the last time I'll be wearing it anyway." 

Daehwi pulled away, looking a little less shaky and a little less terrified. Daniel didn't care if he'd helped it or not. He just cared that Daehwi's worries were eased, if only by the tiniest fraction. 

"Jonghyun will get in, right?" Daehwi said all of a sudden, his voice hushed. 

Daniel hesitated but shook his head. "I don't know. I want him to get in too, but I don't know." 

Daehwi smiled half-heartedly. "Yeah. I thought as much. I want him to." 

"I think everyone wants him to get in." 

There was a sudden lull in conversation before Daehwi broke it again. "He offered to be my sire." 

Daniel's eyes widened. "Really? What did you say?"

A pause. "Yeah. I said yeah. I mean, it's Jonghyun of NU'EST and he's the only vampire I know besides you." 

A smile began to grow on Daniel's face, one he couldn't help. "If you think that Jonghyun is a big name vampire, wait till you meet my sire." 

Daehwi's eyes bulged from his skull. "Wait, you have a sire? And he's an idol? Who is he?" 

Daniel just grinned. "I'll tell some other time."

Daehwi pouted and Daniel almost gave in. "Some other time, Daehwi." 

"Fine, but you better tell me," Daehwi said, crossing his arms and huffing. 

"Don't worry, we're gonna have plenty of time to talk about it as Wanna One." 

Even putting it into words didn't quite seem to help him absorb the reality of it. He'd made it in. He'd done it. He'd gotten into Wanna One, the nation had voted him into Wanna One. The same people who had pulled him to his knees when he was at his weakest had now placed him atop a mountain, so close to first it felt like a dream. 

"Yeah," Daehwi said, his smile small and soft, mirroring his tone, "Yeah, we will." 

Daehwi sat back down and Daniel moved to hug the final person, the victor himself. 

If hugging Daehwi was easy, hugging Jihoon was strange. It was warm and soft but still almost uneasy. He hardly knew Jihoon, outside of that desire to become a vampire. And occasionally being legitimately really funny. He hugged Jihoon anyway, and pushed his stupid worries to the side. Jihoon was slow to hug back, almost like he was surprised. 

"Sorry for looking at you weirdly a lot," Jihoon mumbled. 

"Don't worry about it. Just don't do it so much in public or at fan events or something." 

A snort. "I'm not that stupid, thanks." 

"Just in case." 

There was a pause in conversation, almost a hesitation. Like the calm before the reveal. Jihoon pulled away, his eyes darting to the cameras nearby.

"I found someone who's willing to turn me, when I turn 20," Jihoon whispered, his eyes alight when they finally returned to meet Daniel's. 

"I'm... I'm glad for you. That's really good news," Daniel said and found that strangely he actually meant it. 

The corners of Jihoon's mouth tugged upwards in a small smile, the kind that was so pretty it was like staring an angel in the face. "Yeah. I didn't think I'd actually find anyone." 

Then the worry set in. "Who is it?" he asked, his mind running wild with ideas of shifty underground turning dens or cults or something. 

Jihoon rolled his eyes. "It's another idol, don't worry. But not Jonghyun." He bit his lip. "SM. I met them in my trainee days." 

The worries eased, fading away into the dark like fleeting shadows. "That doesn't sound too bad." 

"Yeah. Yeah. I just... it's weird. I've been chasing it for so long and now I kind of don't know what to do, now that I only have to wait till next year. I kind of feel... empty." 

Daniel just put a hand on Jihoon's shoulder. "You'll find something to fill that emptiness. Hopefully with how good of a centre and idol you're going to be, since you now don't have a distraction." 

Jihoon threw his eyes up to heaven. "Yeah, yeah, yeah, I know, I will be a good centre, I promise." 

"Prove that to them, not me," Daniel said, glancing at the crowd. 

"I will," Jihoon said firmly, "I'm going to be a great centre, don't worry about it."

Daniel saw the fire burning in his eyes, the kind of intensity he hadn't seen in his own in what felt like an eternity. Some part of him was glad he'd lost it. He'd never used it for anything good anyway.

"Yeah, I believe you," Daniel said, and he couldn't help the smile growing on his face. 

Jihoon finally took his seat at number one and Daniel followed suit, taking his place at the second seat. 

It was like sitting in the second seat triggered something. Maybe it was staring down at his future group members. Maybe it was looking into an audience full of people and knowing that more than he expected had voted for him. Maybe the realisation that he'd done it, he'd made it into Wanna One, finally dawned on him. 

The hot, sticky tears slid down his cheeks before he had a chance to even realise they were falling. First it was just one, then it was a flood, pouring down his cheeks like they were on a warpath. And then just kept coming. It was like they had forced their way out of him from someplace deep and unexplored.

He didn't remember what his tears were like until he looked up at a computer screen to see his blood-stained face staring back at him. His hands moved upwards to cover his face instinctively. But he hesitated.

The first time he'd seen his tears in a mirror, it looked like he'd been involved in some sort of catastrophic accident or killed someone. They were the tears of a monster, a reminder of what he'd become, a sign that he was something perverse and wicked and abhorrent. They'd looked evil and revolting and he'd hated them with such loathing it burned him up inside. 

But the tears facing him on screen didn't look like any of those things. They just looked sad and overwhelmed. They just looked like tears. His arms dropped to his side. There was no shame in crying after something as massive as this. If Jisung, with all his walls and faux smiles and exhausted enthuasiasm could cry, so could he. 

He could feel the stares on him, even from the audience but he couldn't bring himself to care. They'd voted for him. The least they could do was not pretend he was human when he wasn't. He wasn't going to hide something so obvious. He couldn't hide the way he cried. When they'd voted for him, that had included his vampirism and not just the pretty parts like the perfect skin and lack of aging. It meant all of it, as ugly and terrifying as some of it might be. 

The camera had left his face by this stage and the more vulnerable part of him was glad for it. He didn't want to hide his vampirism from the people who'd voted for him, sure, but he wanted a little privacy when he was crying. 

Seongwoo and Jisung had turned around to face him, concern reflected in both of their eyes. 

"You okay?" Seongwoo asked, and it was a good thing Daniel had vampire hearing because it was so quiet he would've missed it otherwise. 

Daniel nodded, but the tears wouldn't stop coming. "I -- I just didn't think I'd get it, that's all." 

Seongwoo smiled with that breathtaking smile of his. "Yeah. I can get that. But you did. You even managed to grab second. So you don't have to worry about any of it any longer." 

"Yeah... yeah... I think I just need to let it all out," Daniel said, and paused, "I think I'll be fine." 

Seongwoo smiled and turned around. Jisung was still staring up at him with furrowed brows and shaking hands. Daniel gave him a thumbs up, trying to smile as brightly as he could and Jisung's body collapsed back into his seat like the tension had been the only thing holding it upright. He smiled so massively back at him that it almost hurt to look at. 

His eyes turned back to the choosing of the final member. And his heart would've stopped beating if it wasn't already silent. 

Jonghyun had a microphone. Jonghyun was one of the four with a shot. Jonghyun had a chance. He wanted him to make it in so badly. He knew that Xiumin wasn't going to be there all the time, that he was going to be insanely busy with all the EXO stuff. It would be nice to have an older vampire who actually knew how everything functioned to be in Wanna One with him. So he didn't have to pretend to Daehwi that he was an expert on vampires when he knew barely anything about them. 

"We will begin with announcing the 14th rank." 

He pleaded and prayed and begged to whatever cruel gods lay above in the hopes that they would show him kindness for once and Jonghyun's name wouldn't be called. That he would make it in.

But the gods were ever-elusive and Mnet seized their place in their absence. 

"With 704,148 votes, Pledis' Kim Jonghyun." 

The first name. The first name out. He'd fallen again. It was unnerving what baseless rumours could do to someone's chances of success. He'd been in the top eleven last week. On the verge of first the week before. And now because of whispers of his vampirism, the audience had turned on him. 

Jonghyun looked as calm and collected as ever, that soft smile that he wore so often returning once more. He was thanking them. 

He turned to Daehwi, to see his eyes welling up with tears, his jaw slack and hands shaking. He noticed his stare and those giant eyes turned to meet his. 

Daniel smiled and it felt half-hearted. 

"I was so sure he was going to make it in," Daehwi mumbled, "I thought that he couldn't fall any further." 

"Don't worry. You've still got me, right? You're gonna be fine." It was half-hearted. They both knew Daniel was shit at this vampire stuff. He was barely a four month old vampire without a sire, of course he didn't know anything. 

Daehwi just nodded and looked him, his breaths all hiccuppy and wobbly. 

Looking back to the other trainees still stood on the stage, the victory of his entrance into Wanna One turned to ashes in his mouth. Jonghyun, the best leader in the entire competition, wasn't going to debut with them. Samuel, in all his brilliance and buckets of talent and charisma and looks, hadn't even made it into the final fourteen. 

"In 13th place, with 755,436 votes, Pledis' Kang Dongho." 

And Jonghyun and Samuel were only the ones he knew personally. The others, even if he didn't know them well, were brimming with talent and energy and life. Dongho was the main vocalist of a debuted group, with easily one of the best voices in the entire competition. Seonho and all his boundless energy and constant chatter and infectious enthuasiasm. Minki with his amazing vocals and stage presence and dancing. Haknyeon, who'd somehow managed to fight through even without recognition for his passion and talent with dancing. Youngmin's incessant talent with rap, competing easily with and overcoming those who'd dismissed him as just a cutesy, youthful trainee at the start. Hyeongseob, who'd managed to overcome his initial ranking and all the pain it brought to push his way up to A, when it had seemed like a fool's endeavour to do so.

And it was just Sewoon and Sungwoon left. 

Two amazing vocals, one of whom was an amazing dancer to boot. Who had the audience chosen to be the final member of Wanna One? They both seemed equally unlikely, with Sewoon having to climb eight places and Sungwoon having to fall the same amount. It was a question of whether Sungwoon had managed to hang on to his position in Wanna One by the skin of his teeth or if Sewoon had managed to shove his way up against at all odds. 

"By our National Producers' choice, the final member to enter the debuting group, the rank 11 trainee is..." 

Daniel's eyes kept darting back and forth, between the two final candidates for the final position and the eleventh seat, empty and demanding. He didn't even dare guess who might've made it in. 

"With 790,302 votes, Ardor and Able's Ha Sungwoon." 

Sungwoon was immediately embroiled in the giant hug, and Daniel's lips tugged upwards into a smile. He'd wanted Jonghyun to get in, true, but he couldn't hold Sungwoon's victory against him, especially not when he'd worked so hard for it. Especially not when Sungwoon was smiling from ear to ear, like a madman who'd managed to find his lost sanity, and his joy with it.

Daehwi's sniffles and had stopped from beside him and Daniel turned to see a small smile growing on his face. The same situation then. Jonghyun would've been nice to have been part of it with them, but Sungwoon didn't deserve their disappointment when he was at the peak of his happiness. Not when he'd just managed to grab the last position in Wanna One. 

The victory had a bitter tang that he hadn't expected, with all the people that he'd valued and looked up to who hadn't made it in, and even more who hadn't even made it far enough to be considered, but it was still sweet. And Sungwoon had every right to enjoy it as much as the rest of them. 

So he smiled as brightly as he had for everyone else when Sungwoon walked up the steps and followed Daehwi and Jihoon down to hug him. 

All the trainees -- no, his group members -- came down to welcome the last member in with open arms. He tried to soak in the faces of his bandmates as he did so, tried to get used to the idea of performing and travelling and living with them for another year and a half. It felt like he hugged everyone again, managed to talk to them all again. The second chat was easier. Less awkward. Like they were already beginning to get used to the idea of debuting together. Minhyun even jabbed him in the stomach with an elbow and whipped a tissue out of the nowhere to hand to him, muttering something about blood on his face and cleanliness. It was stupid and heartwarming and familial and Daniel treasured that dumb tissue more than he wanted to admit. 

And then it was back to their seats, accompanied by pats on their backs, massive grins and hope burning so bright that it threatened to blind anyone who looked at it. Was this it? Was this debuting felt like? Shining hope and burning passion, intoxicating and exhilarating? So terrifying he could barely breathe and so comforting it felt like he was wrapped in pure warmth? The refreshing taste of unpredictability and hope for the future?

"Now the centre, Park Jihoon, will lead us in our final greeting to the National Producers." 

Daniel glanced up at Jihoon, that burning in his eyes replacing the usual vacant pretty image he hid behind. Jihoon's eyes moved towards his and a soft smile, the most genuine he'd seen yet grew on his face. Daniel couldn't help but beam back.

Then Jihoon raised the mic to his lips. "At attention!" 

Daniel turned to face the audience and stood up as straight as possible. 

"Top 11 trainees of Produce 101, let's greet the National Producers!" 

And then all together, like a chorus. "National Producers, please take care of us!" Into a deep bow. Daniel could feel the phantom sensation of his still heart hammering in his chest. 

They rose from the bow. Daniel's eyes lingered on the audience, then on the other Produce 101 trainees and then to his fellow members of Wanna One. It still almost didn't feel real. Like he was wading through a dream. Four months ago and he would've hated the person he was now. Four months ago and he probably wouldn't even have thought standing here, as he was, was possible. Four months ago and he would've rather died than get to this point. He hadn't ever thought he'd get here when he'd been turned. All he could see was the depths below him, how much further he might fall, how fucked up his life was going to be from now on. 

It had fucked so much up. It had made everything seemingly impossible at points. It had forced him through some of the shittiest days of his life. It was still really, really fucking hard sometimes. But it hadn't dragged him down to the depths. It hadn't killed him. And here he was, standing so close to the top of the world that he could almost reach out and touch it. 

Even having been destroyed by it so many times, hope still tasted sweet on his tongue. He didn't even flinch away from it. Instead he buried himself in it, letting the warmth flood his chest and, for the first time in an eternity, dared to look skyward.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> It feels a little surreal to be done. I started this fic in Oct 2019, and now, two years and a pandemic later, I'm done. Which is kind of crazy. This fic means the world to me and I'm so grateful to every single one of you who read, bookmarked, kudos-ed and commented on my fics (Especially Flamie, thank you so much for commenting basically every week <3).  
> I kind of can't believe I finished it at all, considering my history with unfinished fics but I'm so glad I saw this one through. I won't be adding a sequel (I don't know what I'd do with them as Wanna One, ngl 😅) but I think there's enough here to last you guys xD  
> Thank you again, everyone, for reading and just know all of your small interactions mean everything to me <3333


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